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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate
I love a crisp crease, and if it can be paired with the ease of a pull-on pant, I’m sold. These cropped pants from Vince look like they’d be perfect if you want to feel pulled together while working from home, and will transition beautifully to the office for in-person days.
The pants are $195, marked down from $325, at Nordstrom and come in sizes XXS–XL.
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Workwear sales of note for 4.18.24
Our favorites are in bold!
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Boden – 25% off through 4/18; 15% off 4/19-20; 10% off 4/21
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- Everlane – Spring Sale: up to 60% off 600+ styles
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off $125+; extra 25% of $150+; up to 60% off everything; extra 50% off clearance
- Nordstrom – Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (on eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- White House Black Market – 25% off entire purchase; $50 off $200
Workwear sales of note for 4.18.24
Our favorites are in bold!
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Boden – 25% off through 4/18; 15% off 4/19-20; 10% off 4/21
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- Everlane – Spring Sale: up to 60% off 600+ styles
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off $125+; extra 25% of $150+; up to 60% off everything; extra 50% off clearance
- Nordstrom – Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (on eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- White House Black Market – 25% off entire purchase; $50 off $200
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
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Spa Help
I’d like to start doing some thing to take care of myself, help me look polished and feel that outward confidence a bit more. Kids are finally at an age where I’m comfortable spending a bit more time and money on myself. I’ve never been a regular spa goer despite my thorough enjoyment whenever I go. A local place was highly recommended to me by a few friends when I mentioned this, so I think I know where to go, I just don’t know what to do or how frequently.
Are facials recommended periodically in order to really feel/see improvement? There are an overwhelming number of facial types offered at this place (laser, some with incisions, organic, microdermabrasion, microcurrant, dermaplane, european..). Where do I start?
I’ve also go my eye on brow and lash tinting. Is this a crock of you know what or, if you’ve done it, was it worthwhile? Definitely like the idea… Anything else I should do/not do?
Anon
I would start with a solid skincare routine if you don’t already have one, as well as a good haircut and regular manicures/pedicures.
OP
Yup, already have all of that. Looking for the next step. This all started from enjoying sheet masks at home and wanting to get my eyebrows to look fuller. I’m working on my makeup skills, namely brow filling, but poking around this place’s s i t e got me to investigate brow tinting, which led to lash tinting… and then this post.
Maybe spa is the wrong word. This place calls themselves a day spa but they’re not a place I’d go for a day-long retreat or anything.
AZCPA
I wouldn’t get anything that is intended for meaningful results at a spa or medspa – that would include anything with a laser, dermabrasion, dermaplane, etc. Stick to a cosmetic dermatologist for those; you want medical training and a dr in house if something goes awry. Limit spa treatments to creams and scrubs, and expect it to be more of a fun thing to do vs something for skin appearance. As a note, my non-cosmetic derm strongly recommends against spa-type facials since they can be irritating.
If you have issues you’d like to address, fund a reputable cosmetic derm office and book a consult. I’ve had laser treatments for scarring and it’s amazing (though plan to look like you are wearing a horror mask for a week). I also do regular botox and occasional filler.
As far as tint, I do my own eyebrows with henna. I’d hesitate to have lashes tinted due to risk of eye irritation. You can also look into some of the more semipermanent brow options if yours are sparse (mine are full but pale/clear).
anon
I think this depends on what your main issues are that make you feel less polished than you could. I had microneedling done because acne scarring was my biggest thing and it was 100% worth it.
Anon
How many micro needling treatments did you need to get results? Did you combine this with a peel? Thanks.
anon
No, I did microneedling with PRP. I had 6 treatments total, but it depends on your skin. I have deep acne scars and could have been fine with 3. You do really see improvements after ever session, but I thik the improvements after 2 and 3 were probably the biggest. I didn’t combine it with a peel or anything else. If you’re just looking to freshen up your face you could do just 1. Generally 2-3 are more effective though.
Anon
I’ve heard good things about both Aqua Gold and Hydrafacials. I can’t do facial treatments due to tretinoin, but if I was able to, I would be trying both of those.
Last tint and lift always look amazing in before and afters; I would love to do those if I had the time and cash. I looked into brow lamination, but a lot of reviews say it fries and breaks the hairs, so I’d steer clear of that.
Anonymous
I guess I don’t primarily see spas as a good way to look more polished day to day. For me they’re great for relaxation but for every day looks the key things have been 1) great hair cut and color, 2) refreshing my makeup and creating an easy routine, 3) getting rid of just okay clothes.
Anon
IMHO, the spa and things to look good are two different things. Spas are for relaxing and getting a massage or treatment of your choice, but I advise against skincare there. That’s what cosmetic dermatologists are for. For me, the biggest wow factor things are Botox, tinted brows, and light lash extensions (a little goes a long way). I personally didn’t like a lash lift/tint – it was the same time commitment as lash extensions, and way less bang for the buck. I have historically gotten my brows shaped and tinted, but am going to try lamination soon. I’m not big into skin treatments but I’m fortunate to have really good skin. If I didn’t though, dermatologist over spa all day long.
Anon
PS – also hair color, cut and makeup – I never get the same shadow or lipstick twice in a row color wise. I like to keep it fun and new, but also simple from a routine perspective.
anon
I agree with the cosmetic dermatologist push. I mentioned microneedling above, and I’d say that + botox has made a huge difference for me. I don’t go to the spa
Anonymous
“Some with incisions” sounds like plastic surgery, not a spa.
anon for this.
I think we all have wildly divergent ideas of what the offerings of spas are.
At one of mine, for instance, you can get hair, nail, and brow and lash services, and facial treatment from facials on up to IPL and minor injections, in addition to massage. (That’s from memory, but I think it about covers it.) So those go a long way towards looking polished.
None of that is particularly relaxing, though. It’s just another appointment . . .
OP
Yea, I replied above on this point. I think I could have worded it all a little better. They call themselves a “spa” which is why I used the word. It’s not a place I’d lounge around with a robe for hours, and that’s not what I’m looking for. Think high-end salon with equally high end “spa” attached to it where a menu of services are offered. I’ve been to the big relaxation/pamper places, and that’s typically where I get a massage or something. This is an appointment-oriented place – waxing, mani/pedis, facials, etc. I just want to know what kinds of appointments I can take advantage of. This all started with investigating how to fill my eyebrows and also the fact that I enjoy hydrating sheeting masks at home.. that’s all. Appreciate the responses so far!
Anon
I’m the one who suggested cosmetic derm over a spa, there are “med spas” that will have associations with plastic surgeons/dermatologists, and I’d go there, I would personally avoid treatment at a spa associated with a luxury hotel (that’s not exclusively the concept but general idea) that employ aestheticians. I find those places push their products (some good, some meh) and have radically different levels of expertise. Finding a good cosmetic dermatologist on the other hand gets you a higher level of care that addresses your actual issues.
Anon
Sorry the other replies weren’t here when I was typing, I would look into brows or lashes at a spa, just not Botox or anything facial/skincare related. Fwiw, I’m in SF and most people I know here go to specialized boutiques for brows/lashes rather than a spa, so you might want to look at that too. I like going somewhere where that’s all they do.
anon
Facials are nice and relaxing but aren’t going to do much (unless you need extractions, in which case your blackheads will appear much better). Botox made the big difference for me. It got rid of my forehead “11’s” and overall my face is so much fresher looking. I did not go crazy, only 30 units. I just got it again for the second time. I am mid-40s and wish I’d done it earlier.
Anonymous
Curious what this costs. I realize it varies region to region but would love to know what you pay for that! I want to go in after this pregnancy/breastfeeding.
Anon
Not the poster you’re responding to, but I do a similar amount in SF and it’s around $300
Anonymous
Another poster. 25 units in suburban Chicago $325.
Anon
I am the anon about. $425. Big east coast city.
Anonymous
Thank you, that’s a lot less than I expected! How often do you have to go in to update it?
Anon
I started in my 30s and went once a year then, now in my mid-40s and I go 4x a year
RR
I’ve been doing brow lamination and tinting. Honestly, I was on the fence about the tinting, and it’s been my favorite part. The lamination is great, but it’s nothing I can’t achieve with brow gel, which I end up wearing anyway, so I’m not sure I’ll keep that up.
London (formerly NY) CPA
I recently started brow tinting and love it. It looks really natural–just my brows but better. Also highly recommend trying Benefit’s “Gimme Brow+ Volumizing Eyebrow Gel”. Works well on its own but I like layering on top of the tint, especially once it starts to fade. If you happen to have one of Benefit’s brow bars nearby, I’ve been happy with their eyebrow services at all 3 locations I’ve been to.
RR
I keep meaning to try Gimme Brow, and I think you’ve pushed me over the edge. Untinted, I like the Glossier Boy Brow. Tinted, I’ve been using the clear Kosas, which is perfectly fine.
No Benefit brow bars nearby unfortunately. I didn’t even know that was a thing!
London (formerly NY) CPA
If you have an Ulta nearby, they sometimes have Benefit brow bars in-store, so maybe check with them!
Mrs. Jones
The Gimme Brow product is awesome!
Anonymous
I would see an aesthetic dermatologist rather than jumping into random procedures on your face at some day spa. A dermatologist can assess what would be most helpful given your skin type and specific issues.
Elegant Giraffe
The best advice I’ve gotten on facials is: if you aren’t willing to do them monthly (I am not), then do them seasonally to help your skin adjust to changes in temp and weather.
Anon
Recently, I looked at jackets / blazers at a website that sells web-only (no stores). I think that they also make just jackets / blazers. Is this ringing a bell with anyone? One spoke to me and I didn’t pull the trigger and now I cannot remember the name or even how I found it. Leads welcome!
Sybil
Don’t have a particular suggestion, but can you just check your web history?
Anon
Might have been me, I suggested One/Third – cute jackets made by a blogger, lemme find a link….
Anon
https://shoponethird.com/
Anon
That’s it! Thank you!
Camla
+1 I love their jackets too
Anonymous
I had an unexpectedly crazy week last week at work. Normally I practice inbox zero (ok, closer to 20), but I’m 1) exhausted and 2) looking at an inbox with over 375 unread items. I’m in a mandatory meeting all morning without email access and plan to check this post after I’m free – What’s your favorite way to tackle a pile of email?
Anonymous
I usually start by sorting by sender- tends to highlight big groups of things I can either just delete or mark as read and move to a folder.
Cb
From the couch with a nice hot beverage and some chocolate. 1 M&M per 10 emails. Sort by sender, use this opportunity to set up filters to reduce the numbers, and archive with abandon.
welp
Sort by conversation so you can read the whole discussion at once, then file it.
anon
This is counterintuitive, but I tackle in order of least to most important / intensive. Bills that can be forwarded onto accounting go first, followed by deleting all back and forth to schedule meetings or confirmations of instructions to outside vendors, followed by the elimination of emails I didn’t need to be cc’ed on. With the inbox debulked, I can then focus on the substantive items.
Anony
This is exactly what I do – least important to most. Anything that requires substantial brain power gets flagged and skipped. Sort, file, read anything ‘easy’ then once those are tackled, take the important ones and rank by priority – anything that can be replied to with minimal effort goes first, anything that needs an immediate answer next, then the ‘hard ones’ based on who/what/when, etc. You got this!!
Walnut
I like to clear up the informational email first, skim and archive. Industry updates, news pieces, anything automated. Sometimes I do this on my phone while watching trash TV.
Then group by conversation (my inbox default) and by sender. Quick scan and archive to get rid of anything that I need to be aware of but don’t need to respond to.
The next pass is responding to anything with fewer than five minutes of effort.
Finally, you should be down to hopefully 10% of your inbox in need of a substantive time. These items hit your to do list (or think about if any can be delegated to someone else). Maybe flip them into meetings for yourself so you allocate the right amount of time in your calendar for catch up work?
No Face
I have rules so that mass emails (newsletters, bar association emails, all-firm emails etc) skip my inbox and go straight to a folder.
I am attorney, so my projects are organized by cases. I will search for a case, drag all the emails to its folder. I review what is left and drag over to subfolders. Then I read the emails in their subfolder so that everything is in context.
Anon
Of you have Outlook, start with clean up folder feature (gets rid of all dupes in a string) then sort by sender (there’s always junk and old stuff), after that it’s pretty manageable.
Anonymous
I get 200+ emails a day. IMO zero in-box is dumb.My whole day would be filing emails. Flag what is important and move on.
anonshmanon
obvs, you and OP have different email volumes. She has 375 after a stressful week, not over 1000 like you would.
Anon
Also inbox zero doesn’t mean you file each email in some sort of elaborate folder. I have 3 options for emails – delete, a folder called “reference” and a folder called “filed.” Reference is for the (rare) stuff I need to go back to — here’s the new procedure for blah blah — and everything else gets deleted or filed as soon as it’s dealt with/read. At the end of the day I have inbox zero but the “filing” part takes no more effort than deleting. On normal not too busy days, I delete/file as soon as I deal with an email (I can do this on outlook on my phone or on desktop). On super busy days, taking 2-5 minutes at the end of the day to file/delete all the emails for the day is actually super helpful because sometimes I find something that I couldn’t deal with in the moment but then forgot about in the mass of everything else — as a result I rarely have people pinging multiple times for something.
Hazel
Anyone interested in virtual shopping help?
I’m looking for a champagne or gold gown for my wedding reception in a nice French-Canadian restaurant next month. (Tiny pandemic wedding held in June 2020, and my original dress no longer fits). Plus size (18-20), budget under $500 preferred, can do some in-person shopping in the Toronto area but obviously have a short timeline and no idea where to start!
Anon
i just went to the Nordstrom site and filtered in dresses by the colors you stated and size and got a bunch of lovely results. it is hard to know what look you are going for, but i’d start there.
Anonymous
Were you on the US or Canadian site? I tried the same thing for OP and got very little on the Canadian site.
Hazel
Nordstrom was my first thought too, but the Canadian site is almost bare!
Anonymous
Does BHLDN ship to Canada?
Hazel
Not sure — I’ll check it out. Thanks for the rec!
Anonymous
Try Laura. There seem to be a few and this one in particular looks like a great option.
https://www.laura.ca/en/plus/clothing/dresses/cachet—glitter-ball-gown/5010103-0583.html?dwvar_5010103-0583_color=653&start=10&ccgid=plus-clothing-dresses-occasion-dresses#start=10
London (formerly NY) CPA
Love Adrianna Papell dresses for special occasions
https://www.adriannapapell.com/collections/long-dresses?color=gold&size=18&size=20&sort-by=manual
pugsnbourbon
Oh this one is really lovely, the back is fantastic: https://www.adriannapapell.com/products/plus-size-mock-neck-beaded-column-dress-with-t-back-in-biscotti-ap1e201469
Hazel
Some absolutely gorgeous options there. Thank you!
London (formerly NY) CPA
Also: https://www.adriannapapell.com/collections/long-dresses?size=18&size=20&color=beige&sort-by=manual
Hazel
Shoot — it looks like they don’t ship outside the US, and no international stores. Gorgeous options for all you USians though!
London (formerly NY) CPA
Oh no! Sorry! From a Google search, The Bay sells them in Canada. N0rdstr0m also sells them. I’ve had luck sourcing them on Amaz0n sometimes. None of them will have a full selection, but worth taking a look to see what’s in stock.
anon
I’m not plus sized, but in Toronto with that budget I would suggest the Bay in the Eaton Centre as having the biggest “gown” selection. For $500 you could probably look on the both the regular gown floor and the stuff in the designer area on floor 2. Nordstrom’s options are pretty limited, and Saks would be too spendy.
Hazel
Thanks, this is super helpful!
A
Also Melanie Lyn stores, the next level of quality up from Laura
I’ve bought a couple gowns from there
Not sure where you live but The Bay in Hamilton at Limeridge Mall is a great store for dresses
Anonymous
Take a look at Tadashi Shoji. They have plus sizes and ship internationally. Some of the big retailers also carry their line. I have seen them at the Bay, Nordstrom and Saks. The dress I have of theirs is just beautiful and really timeless. I’m a size 16 and I thought the dress was true to size.
Anonymous
I hate everything in my closet. I think it’s because I put on some weight and also have no idea what is “in style”. Not sure how to solve this at the moment but just a little rant.
Anon
I am in the office today and getting dressed this morning was so painful. Between the change of seasons, being out of the habit and fashion changes in the past 18 months, just getting dressed to leave the house really challenged me. I must practice, I must practice, I must practice.
pugsnbourbon
SAME.
I saw a blogger suggest that you take a picture of your outfit every day for a month – that way you can see what you reach for the most and what you feel best in. I’m going to try it for a couple weeks.
anon
+1 to this. I’ve done this and posted it to my insta. Unexpected side effects – (1) it made me try on more clothes to come up with something different and (2) it is genuinely surprising what people react to. There were a few shirts that I wasn’t super confident in but the amount of positive feedback made me rethink them.
No Face
I personally believe that nothing is in style.
I am repeating the same small number of clothing items over and over again until fall comes and saves me.
Anonymous
So by that some token, everything is in style.
No Face
Yes, exactly.
anon
Can you go through and identify which clothes still fit and look okay and build some outfits from there? You may not need as much as you think. FWIW, I think styles are wildly divergent and all over the place right now; it’s a very “you do you” moment.
Monday
I even saw an article making this claim–that fashion has splintered beyond any coherence right now. I always think people should wear what they want though.
anon
Can you share the link to this article? Would love to read it.
Monday
I thought it was on Vox, but I just checked and can’t find it! I’m sorry.
Anon
I read an article Wardrobe Oxygen posted about “fashion for women over 40” this weekend (because I am over 40 and so, yeah. Link is below) and while I think she tried to do a good job of distilling trends, it just seems like there is no coherent “this is in and this is out” consensus about things anymore. I am glad to see color may be coming back as I am burned out on neutrals, and also just like wearing fun colors at a time when there’s a lot of bleakness in the world and on the news. Other than that I didn’t see a whole lot I felt was relatable to my life, as a permanent WFH employee who only leaves the house, most weeks, to go grocery shopping and to the gym (and to walk my dogs, but only my neighbors see that). I am not buying much for fall other than some new workout leggings to replace some that are ratty-looking because I just don’t want to invest a lot in clothes I doubt anyone will see but me, my husband and son, and my dogs. I think part of the fragmentation in fashion is that so many of us have curtailed working outside the house, business and personal travel, and going out, due to the pandemic. Hard for something to be a trend when the lives people live outside their homes have been altered so drastically.
Link to article: https://www.wardrobeoxygen.com/fall-fashion-trends-for-women-over-40/
Anon
I feel you. I went to dinner with friends last night (outside) for the first time in ages and I feel like I don’t know what to wear any more. My old work clothes feel to dressy and my current at-home clothes feel too casual.
I felt better when I got to the restaurant as that’s apparently how everyone feels, as other patrons were in anything from jeans,t-shirts, and sneakers to velvet dresses and heels.
Anonymous
My husband works for an employer that had a large and well-publicized data breach (via third party) in the last year. All of his personal information, including bank account and Social Security number, was posted on the dark web, as well as some of my information as his spouse. We changed all our accounts and took steps to protect ourselves, but in recent weeks, there have been several attempted identity thefts using his information – namely attempts to open new bank accounts under his name. It has already led to multiple hours of hassle calling banks, filing police reports, etc. to deal with it and it’s likely just the tip of the iceberg. My question for the lawyers on this board is whether you would take legal action against his employer to try to recoup some compensation for the steps we’ve had to take. I believe the employer offered one year of free credit monitoring or some other kind of tiny token, but this is now beyond that – our information is already being used for malicious purposes. His employer is very large and the information about what led to the avoidable data breach is public (it’s the Accellion breach, if it matters). Thanks in advance for any advice.
Anonymous
No. Suing his employer is not going to fix anything
Anon
+1. And it sounds like you haven’t spent any money on these additional steps, just time. I had to do something similar when I was a Fed and there was a data breach. I got the year of credit monitoring and that was it.
Anon
Suing his employer isn’t going to help and will only make your DH’s work life harder. Freeze your credit and keep an eye on your credit reports. This is just good advice in general, since everyone’s info has been in at least one data breach by this point.
Anon
+1 my data has been compromised and freezing my credit has (seemingly) been the biggest help as I have had no issues since the breach. I know some of this is also luck.
Anon
Same. I gave up on my information ever not being used so now I’m just permanently frozen at all three credit agencies.
Anonymous
Our credit was already frozen prior to the breach, but it did not stop the hackers/whoever the data were sold to from opening new bank accounts under my husband’s name. There isn’t a way to prevent that once your SSN and all your other data has been leaked. My point is that my husband’s employer offering a year of free credit monitoring isn’t doing anything – are we really supposed to just say “welp, it is what it is!” and continue to spend hours upon hours on the phone with all these banks and filing the appropriate reports every time a new account is opened? This could go on for YEARS. Maybe a lawsuit against his employer isn’t the right mechanism, but it’s extremely frustrating to have to spend our limited free time on this.
anon
I’m genuinely curious what your desired remedy from the company is. Do you want money? There aren’t really other options from a service/preventative perspective that I can think of which you aren’t already taking advantage of. My first question to clients is always to ask what their desire outcome is. This helps me manage expectations and guide them – that’s where my curiosity comes from in an area that is admittedly not my area of expertise.
Anonymous
Yeah, what I mentioned in my post is “compensation” and that is what we would want. The genie’s not going back in the bottle on the data breach, but I think his employer should pay for 5-10 years of credit monitoring (not that it’s helping much) and offer some other type of compensation for the time spent to rectify the damage. It’s not an insignificant amount of time by any means. If there are other mechanisms out there, like any programs you can pay for for “enhanced” monitoring, I think the company should pay for that too.
Anon
Right? My employer messed up my taxes one year (or their 1099 / W-2 payroll vendor) and it took days to sort that out (their error — the W-2 I got did not match the 1099-DIV they filed for me with the IRS and never CC’d me on). The 1099-DIV did not pass the smell test (it was a partnership; I was a salaried employee). Eventually the IRS came around, but OMFG it was 100% of a lot of the work on me.
anon
Why doesn’t your husband just ask for the extra credit monitoring and see what happens? I don’t see how it could hurt to ask with a calmly worded request, noting the time and effort you have already gone through. I suspect that would be FAR more productive than trying to sue or threaten suit.
Senior Attorney
Agree with anon at 11:07 a.m. I think if you demonstrate you’ve suffered actual harm it would be more than reasonable for the company to pay for additional credit monitoring and so on. It can’t hurt to make a request for a lump sum to cover that plus your trouble.
Anonymous
Thanks, Senior Attorney and Anon. The employer had previously indicated that the one year of credit monitoring would be all that they would offer, but I think you’re right that it could be worth presenting the case again now that there’s actual negative harms involved. Worth a try, anyway.
Anon
No advice but I’m curious how you found out about the bank accounts. Our credit is frozen as my info has also been stolen in multiple data breaches.
Anonymous
Letters in the mail from the bank with “thank you for opening an account with us!”
friend at 11:39, our credit has been frozen for several years (thanks to a previous breach) and that has prevented new credit cards from being opened in our names, but it doesn’t stop new checking accounts from being opened.
friend
Unfortunately, this is the way it is. We’ve been in the same situation. Have you frozen all of your credit with the bureaus and done the same with the banks? Once this is done, it protects you from anyone opening new accounts/credit cards so work on this ASAP. Not sure why new accounts are being opened if you have frozen your credit/banks.
And yes, it is extremely frustrating.
Anon
Our data was in the OPM data breach a number of years ago. It was a huge pain, it was not fun to deal with, etc. However, similar to anon at 11:07, I would like to understand what you expect your husband’s company to do here? What recompense or consideration could they give you that would compensate you for the time and energy you’re spending on this issue – which, I might add, you are exacerbating via your fretting and resentment? Your stewing about how much time and energy this is costing you is costing you more time and energy. You’re unintentionally worsening the problem.
A couple of years ago my husband and I were hit by another driver driving home from dinner. There were no injuries and the car suffered only minor damage. It was clearly the other driver’s fault (he ran a stoplight) and so there was no wrangling or drama with the insurance companies. It was a huge pain to deal with the insurance (even though there wasn’t a fight over liability), take my husband’s car in for repairs and have him in a rental for two weeks, etc. But I wasn’t going to sue because the only material loss we suffered was time and inconvenience. We are guaranteed by the Constitution the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. We are not guaranteed freedom from inconvenience or from dealing things we’d rather not do. Inconvenience is part of living life sometimes. If your life is so packed that dealing with a data breach seems like a major imposition on your time, that’s an issue you actually have control over.
Other food for thought. When I am super-stressed because I have overcommitted myself, even a very minor inconvenience can seem like a huge emotional burden and it’s hard for me to practice resilience. The part of that situation I have control over is pulling back from commitments and rebalancing my life. I don’t have control over ensuring that I am never ever inconvenienced for any reason, and punishing people for inconveniencing me probably isn’t a healthy approach to the problem.
Anonymous
I’m confused. Do you believe that companies shouldn’t bear responsibility for negligence causing harm to their employees?
Anon
If you understood the degree of negligence involved in a typical massive data breech, I think you’d want to see consequences and accountability as well.
Anon
I understand it fine. My husband works in IT.
You seem hell-bent on trying to extract your pound of flesh for being inconvenienced by your husband’s employer (protip: derailing your husband’s career may also prove to be quite an inconvenience, and maybe one that’s not so minor), so by all means, don’t let anything anyone’s saying here stop you. Not sure why you asked the question when you were already set on your answer? Doesn’t seem like a productive use of time to me.
Actually, I’d like to know how much time you’ve spent on typing out your question, reading responses, and responding to people this morning. If you’re sooo short on time that you feel the need to sue someone over a data breach that caused you time loss and inconvenience, I have what I feel is a pretty low-hanging-fruit type of suggestion on how you might spend less time on low-value activities, and free up some space in your life for other things.
Anon
“I’m confused. Do you believe that companies shouldn’t bear responsibility for negligence causing harm to their employees?”
As a non-lawyer, I believe our society is litigious to a fault and that there’s a huge difference between a product liability issue where someone is seriously hurt, or dies, and someone being petulantly indignant because they had to spend some time on the phone/internet sorting out an issue. There seems to be a fragile contingent in society that believes that every inconvenience, no matter how minor, is someone’s fault and they are owed money in exchange for every bit of their time they spend doing something they didn’t choose to do, and I do not understand that viewpoint at all. It seems beyond selfish to me. I honestly can’t believe we’ve reached a point in society where someone is going to seriously consider suing their husband’s current employer because they want compensation for their time dealing with a data breach. I also just think that the OP’s expectations are unrealistic – I have been involved in several class-action lawsuits related to data breaches and all I’ve ever gotten is free credit monitoring. Which she’s already being offered! If the company offered to send her flowers and candy and a $25 McDonald’s gift certificate, would that be enough compensation for her? Or does she want thousands of dollars she didn’t earn and isn’t entitled to just because of her “inconvenience”?
I’m guessing you’re a plaintiff-side attorney? I’m sure it is uncomfortable for you to contemplate that sue-happy plaintiff-side attorneys are part of the general societal problem we have with too much litigation. Not going to apologize because I’m sure you’ve heard that before, somewhere else.
Anonymous
Wow, you’re seriously projecting! You spent more time typing out these snarky responses than I did posting this issue. I’m not freaking out or stewing – I posted asking for specific advice. Whatever’s going on with you, I hope it gets better.
Anon
Haven’t commented on this yet, but I am nowhere seeing that the OP is “hell-bent on trying to extract [her] pound of flesh for being inconvenienced by [her] husband’s employer,” is “set on [her] answer,” or anything else you’re quite cruelly throwing at her. This is completely disconnected from what you’re accusing her of.
Examine your own conscience. I would bet good money that “hell bent on extracting a pound of flesh” describes you to a T.
LOL
“Examine your own conscience. I would bet good money that “hell bent on extracting a pound of flesh” describes you to a T.”
Good to see our resident projector/judgypants has shown up to add her two cents. You never seem to jump into a conversation except to add a comment like this. Maybe you’re the one who needs to do some examination of why you only get interested in commenting when there’s a fight? Not much of a contribution to the discussion IMO.
Anon
Lol, no. They aren’t liable for that and it’s a great way for your husband to find himself unemployed, too.
Anon
Wow. So many of you are being unnecessarily harsh on the OP! I also work in tech and have some familiarity with cyber security, although that is not my area of expertise. Companies absolutely should have more accountability in breach situations. There are rules about the consequences when companies fail to pay employees on time…so why not when they fail to protect employee data from a breach? OP, I think you don’t have a lot of good options, but you have my sympathy.
Anonymous
Thank you, I appreciate that! I’m going to try what others suggested above and talk to my husband about approaching the company to ask for more credit monitoring now that we’ve been hit with these attempts at opening fake accounts. It won’t stop them, but at least we could maybe get coverage for longer on the credit side.
Anonymous
There are usually class action lawsuits filed after each data breach. Your personal attorney can investigate this and advise you on it.
Anon
Yes, and you get free credit monitoring usually, so same place you’re in….
Anon
So there’s absolutely nothing you can do that will prevent your information from being attempted to be used again now that it’s out there. I’m not a lawyer but I doubt you can take worthwhile legal action as an individual, although I am sure many of Accellion’s clients are likely suing them over it. The only thing you can maybe do is to have him reach out to his management/hr and ask for extended monitoring as you are still dealing with the fallout. They may say nope, but I doubt it would hurt his career to politely ask. Where I work it would be fine to complain.
anon
How do you limit stress eating other than by sheer force of will?
Anon
Not going to the grocery store and not buying and treats when you do. But ingredients not ready to eat items.
Anonymous
I try and replace it with things that actually help my stress. A quick walk, 5 minute meditation, stretching etc.
anon
By having something else to do with my hands, or by having a good beverage to sip on. It is really hard, though.
Anonymous
Make stress-eating inconvenient and provide yourself with enjoyable alternatives that are easily accessible. Eliminate problem foods from the house. After dinner, go upstairs, brush your teeth, and settle in with a book or show so it’s inconvenient to go downstairs to get a snack and then brush your teeth again. During the day, have a tasty no-calorie beverage on hand at all times–for me this is unsweetened iced tea, grapefruit seltzer, or sparkling water with lime.
If you want to keep some treats on hand, buy them in single-portion packages, bake half a dozen cookies and freeze the rest of the dough, etc. to manage access. Don’t eat while doing anything else–focus all of your attention on your food so you can really enjoy it.
Anonymous
Don’t keep the stuff in the house. I can’t eat an entire bag of chips if there are no chips in my house. I’m usually to lazy to actually drive to the store and buy it. I stock healthier alternatives like popcorn or pretzels. But I’m an abstainer not a moderator. A moderator might prefer to actually have chips in a small packet. I would eat all the packets.
anon
I also have an easier time with abstaining! It seems rare and goes against the conventional advice, but know thyself? If it’s in the house and I have to figure out how much is okay to have, my brain goes crazy. If it’s not there, I just don’t think about it.
Anon
Make sure there’s not a medical component. I have insulin resistance and impaired blood glucose control, so the way my doctor explained it to me, stress leads to stress hormones which leads to glycogen dumping from my liver, which leads to rising blood glucose, which leads to rising insulin, but since I have insulin resistance it’s “overkill” and my blood sugar ends up dropping, making me feel hungry because I am genuinely running low on blood glucose.
After some lifestyle changes (low carb, more exercise), I pretty much never snack or feel a need to. If that hadn’t worked, I’d be on metformin/glucophage.
Anonymous
I moved my work from home location to a guest bedroom as far away from the pantry as I can physically get in my house. When stressed I do jumping jacks or other physical activity to release steam.I also do not buy salty carb or chocolate snacks which are my weakness.
Anonymous
There are medications you can take that will limit your desire to eat. They have horrible side effects and are expensive but they work. You can talk to your doctor about them.
Anonymous
I stock healthier snacks like mini protein bars and mini trail mixes and most of the time can divert myself to one. I have mini sized chocolates for when I can’t.
Anon
Not having the things I binge on at home.
Anon
Idk but I recently found that I like watermelon and salt and vinegar chips together. I went for the chips first, and then thought I’d make it healthier by getting out the watermelon. This is not my usual stress eating combo!
Anon
When I was a kid my dad used to put salt on his watermelon
Anonymous
I’ve been wearing swing tees or longer tanks/cardigans over skinny jeans as my uniform for a long time now, but it’s feeling pretty dated. What’s a fresher version of this? Cusp/plus size, want to draw attention away from the waist. Thanks!
friend
I would just change the skinny jeans to a looser cut, but make sure they fit you well. Either the pants above, or trying different lengths to see what flatters most. If you choose a cropped look, try a sandal/flat in warmer weather, and a bootie in cooler weather.
Also, I would get a couple jumpsuits, which can be very forgiving at the waist, and can be combined with flats or booties.
Big Boots Question
Hive Help – I bought a part of oxblood Caslon boots from the Nordstrom sale, and now I don’t know what to do with them or how to style them. They are so much chunkier than I normally wear. I know I’ll need heavier boots in the Fall (really late Winter in Texas), but I don’t know how to make them look polished. Do I have to roll all my jeans up above my ankle and have cold ankles to style them properly? I’m so confused. I’m also a size 14 with wide calves, so all of the thinner instagrammers styling doesn’t help.
anon
Is it too late to return them? Sounds like they don’t really go with your style preferences.
Anon
Nordstrom lets you return forever, I wouldn’t if they’re worn but otherwise, agree, send them back.
DeepSouth
I find a little bit of ankle to be very flattering to my wide calves, and you live in Texas. I am also in the south. It’s not that cold. you can do it. Shana at the mom edit dot com also wears hers with visible socks — she buys patterns that are clearly meant to show and they always look cute.
Anonnymouse
I agree – having a little gap always seems to help with proportions. Or, wear them with tights and a skirt/dress.
Piper Dreamer
Any trench coat rec? Burberry is a little out of my price range but also want something of a nicer quality than Banana Republic. Thanks!!
Anon
Second hand Burberry? I love mine and that’s how I bought it.
Anon
Check out the wool lined trench at BR. It looks amazing! I am replacing my prior good BR trench with this. Just trying to decide which color.
Anon
+1 on sticking with BR. I think trenches look ratty after a season or two and are the coat most needing replacement most often. For that reason, I’ve generally moved away from them, but BR makes a nice one that’s less of a bulky cut.
Anonymous
Hobbs at Bloomingdales.
Anokha
+ 1 Hobbs. Also Ted Baker.
anne-on
Hobbs, Brooks Brothers, Mackage and Soia & Kyo all make ones of really nice quality. Mackage is edging up into Burberry prices so I probably wouldn’t do that without a sale going on.
Anonymous
About 4 years ago I got a Cole Haan trench for a fraction of Burberry (admittedly on sale) and it’s nice enough to have quenched my Burberry cravings. I have also had people ask me if it’s Burberry so it does look high quality.
Anon
DH and I recently bought a house and are trying to hire an interior designer and i’ve met with two and they are both SO slow at responding to email. i don’t understand how you can be in a service business and never respond to people. it is so frustrating!
Anon
Did they give you a sense of what it would cost? I am just clutching my (fake) pearls that it’s often $25K-100K to do a room, and to me, that is just way out of my league. Like I just don’t want to spend 10K on a regretable couch (or spend months of weekends looking at things), but I feel like their expectations and mine don’t really overlap (but agree it’s hard to get through the fluff and silence to even seem to get a convo going). This is why I am probably on #TeamIkea forever.
Anon
The biggest furniture store near me has interior design consultants. It’s somewhat tempting!
I have strong preferences in interior design (i.e., what I hate, I hate; what I love, I love), but I know I have no sense of scale/proportion until I see something in person in my house, no matter how many times I pull out the tape measure, so I could still use help.
Anony
Everyone in ‘services’ is totally overwhelmed. Maybe they prefer phone calls? DH owns a garage and never answers his email, only phone calls. He is so incredibly busy that he just doesn’t have time to respond.
anon
I would assume they are away from email for long periods because they’re doing the actual work. Try calling instead. Also, they may be booked solid since everyone is interested in home updates at the moment.
Anonymous
The interior designers I know we’re really busy during the pandemic, as everyone tried to set up a schoolhouse and work from home spaces. I would suggest cutting them a bit more slack. I would also note that delivery of furniture and appliances has been massively impacted by the pandemic, so there will be really long lead times on core items. You might want to DIY the initial set up in your new place and then have a design team work from there.
Anon
People really hired designers for this? Everyone I know (mainly Big4, BigLaw, etc., so not rich, but with some $) just ordered whatever they could get b/c we had no notice that schools were going remote in spring 2020 and then (surprise) would not reopen in fall 2021. Nothing was really available at any price to the point where we pressed an ironing board into service as a laptop desk.
Anonymous
Yeah, that’s why some partners are zooming in front of appropriate art, real plants, charming coromandel screens and thoughtfully acquitted bookcases.
Anon
Heh — I had to google that type of screen, so I am clearly outside of this demographic.
I do think that my world broke down into two camps: those who already had nice home offices where they could be locked away quietly from any family or pets also at home and people caught in their tracks using all of the “blur background” and “insert picture of something else as background” features and hoping for no audible toilet flushing.
anonshmanon
DH said something similar recently about a repair man being very curt on the phone! I just tell myself that no one person is good at everything. If I am hiring a one-person-business, I’d rather have someone who excels at repair/design instead of a sweet talker who isn’t good at the core job duty. Hopefully your designers are at least good with the customer face to face, even if they are not the most organized via email!
Agurk
We had this experience and eventually the designer ghosted us. She hasn’t sent us a bill though so I guess there’s that. Now we’re trying Modsy on the advice of this board.
Senior Attorney
Honestly I feel like contractors and designers are overwhelmed with business from existing clients and if you don’t have a relationship already it’s going to be harder to get their attention. (It’s always been like that to a degree but in the pandemic it’s exacerbated it because people who have discretionary funds literally have nothing else to spend their money on.)
If you can get a referral from somebody that will help.
Anon
I have been so overwhelmed lately – I go through periods where life is a whirlwind and fun but not very responsible (or healthy!) and other periods where I work a lot and feel like I’m too serious and not enjoying life enough (and still not healthy!).
Ive decided that my goal is to simplify / automate the basics in my life so that when life is crazy (either for fun or for work), the basics are taken care of. I just need some help figuring out how to do that …
Anonymous
Which things in particular overwhelm you?
Anon
A little bit if everything: in the last month I didn’t food shop or cook once, I didn’t work out at all, I cleaned my apartment way less frequently than I normally do. I didn’t even do my basic skincare routine or take vitamins regularly.
When work picked up I didn’t keep in touch with friends/family the way I normally do, my sleep schedule was erratic, I was stressed, etc.
Anonymous
My best advice then is to figure out what you DO always do each day, and tie your desired habits to those.
E.g. you brush your teeth twice a day and eat three meals.
So, make your bed before you brush your teeth in morning. Take vitamins with breakfast. Work out just before lunch (10 minute poster below has some good ideas). Text three loved ones before dinner – every day (if work is slow, make that one phone call a day instead, or in addition). Do skincare just before brushing teeth at night.
anon
Was this during a whirlwind “fun” month? Because if so, it sounds like you simply might need to turn down a social invite or two. It’s not normal to be so overwhelmed with “fun stuff” that you totally ignore the other aspects of your life. There is no way you were so busy you couldn’t pop a daily vitamin. Maybe you’re one of those people with an all-or-nothing type personality but honestly part of being an adult is managing your time in a way that creates some balance.
Anon
It’s been both. Work was very very busy and then when I did have a free night I filled it with fun things.
Anon
Prefacing this with: I think it is totally OK to have “seasons” to daily life. But if you’re trying to have more of a routine, especially around food, what did help me a lot during a very busy, maybe borderline depressed, time period was delivered meal packages. I signed up for three different services so there was enough variety week to week. I picked meals for three or four weeks at a time so I only had to do it once a month or so. This meant that there were at least three meals per week where all I had to do was follow the instructions on a sheet of cardboard to get a hot nutritious tasty meal on the table. No shopping or thinking required beyond the 30 minute monthly picking.
The other thing that helps me is having 10 minutes of any sort of exercise without any noise. Maybe that’s mediation for others. But it helps me clear my head and suddenly all the small things that are overwhelming are not that important.
Last thing I can recommend is tackling “to do” piles – if you have a stack of bills just pay them now and clear the desk space. If you have checks to deposit just do it now. If you need to respond to someone and feel like you don’t have the time to do it properly so you keep waiting – just write a short note now and say – sorry for the brevity, it’s been busy in my head but I’ll write more when I can.
Good luck!
Formerly Lilly
I just ordered these pants and am hoping that they will be a replacement for my Eileen Fisher stretch crepe pants. Those pants used to be made of a substantial material that wasn’t a lint magnet and used to have a wide, flat waistband. For several years now. they have just looked like overpriced athleisure and I am very much on the lookout for a new basic black pant that is pajama adjacent.
AZCPA
I just bought a dupe of these from Loft (Pintucked Tapered Pants In Crepe) that are amazing – substantial, wash well, etc. And very inexpensive. For some reason on the model they look wide at the bottom, but on both me (short, curvy) and my friend (tall, thin legs) they look nicely tapered but not tight.
https://www.loft.com/pintucked-tapered-pants-in-crepe/572132?skuId=31844765&defaultColor=2222&catid=catl000014
pugsnbourbon
Not OP but these look amazing!
Formerly Lilly
Thanks for the recommendation! I have had zero work from home, very little shopping, and am in need of replacing some tired looking work items.
anon
Has anyone tried the Liverpool Kelsey knit pants? I’m interested because they look soft and stretchy while being work-appropriate, but the price is steep for what they are, IMO. I desperately need a couple of pairs of work pants for fall, so please let me know if you have any recommendations for a pear! I’d prefer full length rather than ankle length, but that might be asking too much from retailers.
RR
I have a pair of Liverpool knit pants–not sure if they are Kelsey or not. They are super comfortable and work-appropriate, but they do tend to stretch out. I have a knit pair from Vince Camuto that actually look better because they hold their shape, and the oft-recommended Nic + Zoe stretch pants and Eileen Fisher crepe stretch pants. All three of those get more rotation in my wardrobe than the Liverpool.
RR
Just looked at the Liverpool site, and I think mine ARE the Kelsey.
Anon
I have them and love them – order one size down though. I’m normally a 12 and I prefer a 26-27 in inseam in work pants, so I order a 10P. I’m regretting not ordering another color when I did. I believe I received 20% off as a “first time customer”.
Anon
I’m sure this has been covered and I WILL search the archives. But until then.
My gym is having a six-week program where wee work on habits, kind of a tiered thing where you pick five habits to work on and add one a week. All health related, I would imagine. Someone last year chose to drink 100 oz of water a day, someone chose to “read more.” (If anything, I should choose “read less”.)
I am finding them hard to come up with. Possibly “recording everything I eat” for week one (so that would last the whole time) and “hiring swim coach” for week six. I’m already doing weight training 2x a week and now am in physical therapy once or twice a week. Job is sedentary. Water consumption is stellar. But not to make this just about me: what are some good health habits that aren’t obvious, that we don’t hear all the time, and that aren’t so easy?
Anon
None of these are secrets, but still, I am a work in progress:
1). I work out lots, but I don’t have enough variety in what I do, so a better mix;
2). I do not stretch nearly enough; and
3). My sleep habits could be better—more regular and more sleep.
anonshmanon
I could think of different eating goals. Minimum number of homecooked meals, or max no of takeout. Or increasing some eating choice (more legumes, one vegetarian meal a day, more fish, one low-carb a day).
Cornellian
If you work a sedentary job, get up every 30/60/90 minutes and walk around the floor or go outside and look at the horizon. Maybe do one or two short stretches. I’m bad at remembering it, but so important for posture, mental health, and eye health!
Anon
I feel like these are all pretty obvious, but 1) cutting/reducing alcohol intake, 2) adding more of a certain food group (e.g., veggies) to your meals, 3) sleeping more, 4) moving more – if you have a sedentary job could be a goal to stand up and take a 5 minute movement break every 60 minutes or something like that?
Anon
Sleep habits?
No
Not what you asked, but I’m here to push back on the idea that “record everything you eat” is a healthy habit.
Anonymous
+1
Anonymous
+1 It’s a tool, that SOME people find useful in SOME situations. Before you do this, figure out why you’d want to do it, what it would gain for you, and be very honest with yourself about whether this is a good idea for you.
Monday
+2
Anan
After taking the Yale Happiness course, I’ve started trying to regularly implement some of their strategies as daily habits. They aren’t necessarily physical habit, though.
– meditating 5-10 minutes a week
– daily gratitude journal
– making sure I savor something
– getting outside for at least 20 mins a day
– going to bed before midnight (i actually suck at this one)
– random acts of kindness- this one is really hard especially during a pandemic.
Anone
Meditate for 10 minutes every day. (I did this for about 2 months and it was great, but I fell out of the habit. Really want to pick it up again though.)
Cornellian
For the last 18 months I’ve been working between 80% and 100% remote. It looks like either next month (or, realistically, when Delta chills out a bit), I will be officially working from home 2 days a week and in the office 3 days a week.
Previously I tended to rely on my whiteboard to keep track of big picture items and related tasks. So I might have “Deal A, [send] LPA markups to opposing counsel, review side letter draft; Deal B, mark up NDA; Policy X, provide comments to Jane; Legislation ABC, review input of s. 123”, etc. I used it mostly to make sure nothing was dropping off my radar, and to make sure that even if I couldn’t deal with something when it came in, I put it somewhere so it would get addressed eventually. Now I’m missing things and forgetting about deals because I go in Monday and write things down, then my kid’s preschool closes for quarantine for two weeks, then I’m back, but that list is now out of date, and I’ve created nine scribbled post-it notes in the interim that aren’t integrated anywhere.
What is the equivalent to that now? I don’t find typing to have the same power for me. I need in my face visual reminders. I’m the type of person who works at a giant desk with (organized) piles of papers for each deal, because otherwise the deal just stop existing for me. Does anyone have a system they could recommend? Maybe one of those digital notebooks would be enough??
Cb
It sounds like you’re currently using your whiteboard like a Kanban board? I wonder about a big file folder that you could put small post-it notes on the inside of. You’d just fold it up and take it home and wouldn’t lose the post-its.
anonshmanon
If you want to try a digital solution, Trello is basically this as an app. Lots of other similar services exist.
Anonymous
This is an amazing suggestion.
Cornellian
Thats’s a great idea, thanks!
Anon
This appeals to me on every level (using firm stationery, no need to buy a new thing or keep it charged), visual appeal, and easy to find. Great suggestion!
Anon
I have a cheap month-at-a-glance calendar that is compact and fits in my laptop bag and it’s my lifeline of key things. I work remote each evening (#momlife) and have sudden WFH days/weeks/seasons, so it needs to always be with me. And not depend on my phone battery life, just something I can look at and know at a glance what is up (I do check my phone each morning for my electronic calendar, but this also helps manage key work things).
Tea/Coffee
I use my ipad for this (goodnotes app).
-1 document is my daily “notebook” – i have a standard one-pager with a spot for my day’s agenda (screenshotted in from outlook) and spots for designated “categories” (to do today, this week, stuff that needs attention from a particular person, etc). I add meeting notes and stuff and start a 2nd page if needed – but each morning i copy the precious day’s first page and update.
– separate doc is a whiteboard. It’s all the stuff i would normally put on a whiteboard, the little things that I’ll forget otherwise, etc.
This works for me bc i use the apple pencil rather than typing. YMMV. But I’ve been doing this for years and it’s really nice to know that if I only rescue my ipad from the burning bldg, I’d be able to reasonably start over the next day.
Anon
When I went to WFH in March 2020 I had the presence of mind to take a photo of my whiteboard. I now have a word document called “whiteboard” where I pretty much do the same thing. Setting it up so I can see two pages at a time on my screen made it feel more like a whiteboard.
Anon
I use a bullet journal. You could devote one side of a page every week to be your whiteboard, list of projects and then carry over next week what still needs to be done + new things.
I have to write it down. Typing doesn’t have the same impact for me. I toted my bullet journal around before the pandemic – work, home office, travel – and I always had my lists handy that way.
My bullet journal is not a work of art. It’s just an organizational tool that works for me.
No Face
I use Outlook tasks and a paper planner. I add electronic tasks with deadlines and reminders, so that nothing is fully dropped. But at the beginning of each week/day, I write down my tasks and check them off as I complete them. I carry the planner back and forth to the office.
Anon
I use LucidSpark, which is basically a digital whiteboard you can log into from anywhere. You can even make stickies that you move around the board (like a Kanban).
Cornellian
Thanks all!
allieoops
Rocketbook has a whiteboard system for this, but you’d still need to re-write in two places, or just rely on the online version. https://getrocketbook.com/blogs/news/meet-rocketboard-connect-your-old-whiteboard-to-the-cloud
I use and love their notebooks but haven’t used this.
Anon
If you were eloping in NYC in early November, what would you wear?
Anon
A luxurious winter white pantsuit.
Cornellian
https://www.thereformation.com/products/gatsby-dress
Senior Attorney
OMG so great.
Cornellian
I love it. I tried it on but am quasi-eloping next month in Texas and think it’ll be too hot, unfortunately.
Senior Attorney
Congratulations!!
Jules
Congrats! I feel like you’ve been through a lot, glad to hear this happy news.
Cornellian
Thanks! that’s very sweet. I’m probably going to make a post in the next couple days once I’ve narrowed down to a couple dresses.
Anon
I love, love, love wedding pictures where the bride is wearing a fantastic white or ivory jumpsuit with fun hair accessories and/or flowers. I think BHLDN has wedding jumpsuits if you want to use that as a starting point.
Anon
Vintage style white skirt suit and/or midi sheath dress with 3/4 sleeves and a pillbox hat with a birdcage veil. And amazing splurgey shoes.
Very Audrey Hepburn/Jackie O.
Anon
THIS.
Senior Attorney
Love the jumpsuit idea! Also throwing out the idea of a cape (maybe faux-fur trimmed?) and a fab hat (love the pillbox-with-veil idea)! And winter white leather gloves.
Anon
Anyone been to Miraval Arizona or Lake Austin? Opinions? Or other destination spa recs in the continental US? I’m looking to go solo for 4 days (from Chicago) in January/February. My main goal is recovering from pandemic burnout. I’m looking for good massages, good food, a variety of light fitness activities (yoga, hiking, etc.) and a place where I’ll feel totally comfortable hanging out solo with a book and not be forced into socializing with strangers.
Anon
Yes, I’ve been to Miraval in AZ and it’s amazing. Went with a friend but it would be perfect alone. There’s as much or as little activity as you desire. Met a woman at the pool who was there by herself I still keep in touch with. Highly recommend.
anne-on
There is a brand new Miraval in the Berkshires. If you’re ok with snow I’d look at that one – snowshoeing, having an outdoor firepit, etc. all sound cozy and lovely.
Anon
I’m looking to get away from freezing cold and snow since we get plenty of that at home :) but I will keep this in mind for a future summer/fall trip.
Anon
San Antonio – La Cantera
If you get tired of spa-ing, I highly recommend taking an Uber or the hotel shuttle for an evening on the River walk in downtown San Antonio. Or daytime, seeing the Alamo.
Elegant Giraffe
The austin one is great.
Civana
Just did Civana solo in AZ and it was incredible.
Anonymous
Looking for a workhorse cardigan that I can wear every single day for WFH and toss in wash without pilling. I love my Barefoot Dreams one, but 1) it looks a little pajama-y (which is honestly fine), and 2) it’s a bit too warm. Basically I need the equivalent of a Barefoot Dreams cardi but lighter weight. Thanks!
Anonymous
Following!
anon
This was highly recommended last year on the board (or some version of it) and it looks like it is back at Costco. I’m going to check it out in store to see if I like the feel, but might be worth a look: https://www.costco.com/matty-m-ladies'-boyfriend-cardigan.product.100741286.html
Anonymous
Athleta Pranayama. Runs large, size down. Reads as a blazer on Zoom.
Elegant Giraffe
+1 I love this
LaurenB
I saw something called My Work Robe on my Insta feed. It is either the dumbest idea out there or the most brilliant. And it might even be both!
Anon
Following up on the interior design thread above, what have you all seen as markup for items purchased by your designer? Ours wants to charge a flat rate for square footage and then do a 25% markup on purchases. This is going to be a big and expensive project, but I have no idea what market is! In a large city in Texas if that helps. TIA!
Anon
OMG — with Texas-sized rooms, that is a lot of space and a lot of space that is probably not even going to get decorated (the space between a rug and a wall). I would not even want to think about how big this # is likely to be. Can you ask her for ballpark ranges of a space (e.g., living room with 2 custom couches + rug + chair + pillows + coffee table + side tables)? I think high 5-figures for a Texas-sized living room (which is about half of my first condo).
Anon
One of my clients charges by the hour for actual design work (on the computer) and a mark up if he does any shopping (20%).
Government job reject
Hello. I wanted to say thanks for those of you who responded to me about the job I’ve been contract covering for but didn’t get an interview for.
I 100% know that the person in charge of hiring is aware of me but is not considering me for a full time job. I do have a sense as to why but there isn’t much I can do about it.
Over the last decade I have I have frequently covered this position or done contract work around it and it pays very well. The contract work is still coming in as there is currently no one in the position. I just got more work from them today. I have an idea of the kinds of people they are interviewing for the job and basically I don’t think the contract work is going to go anywhere soon. I know the other people around this position want me to get it so it’s awkward being asked when I’m being hired etc as I am not even in consideration.
It is what it is. I earn more doing what I do right now anyway, this would just be a good position to kind of retire into and cut my hours if that makes sense. I am sure it will come up again and I will do somethings differently next time.
Cheers and thanks.
Anon
Honestly I still think you should directly talk to manager of this role and your interest in doing it full time. It kind of sounds like these are things that you assumed and maybe they’re right but maybe they’re not. What’s the downside of expressing your interest to this person or asking them about it? You’ll never get a direct answer otherwise.
Anon
This. People assume so many things that aren’t true.
Anon
What would a mediocre white man do? Apply for the job!
Anon
It sounds like there’s something going on here that no one has told you. I agree with the suggestions above that you ask the manager in a calm and friendly manner that you would be interested in taking a permanent position and you’d like to know what you can do to make yourself more competitive for the next opening that they have? Then, if they fail to give you any feedback, then you’ll know and you can decide whether or not you want to stick around. I suspect that there’s something that’s an issue (maybe you don’t have the “right” kind of school pedigree or the “right” people advocating for you internally).
Anon
Contract work won’t cover benefits –but if you do go full-time you can’t write things off any more… Almost six of one, half a dozen etc.
CHL
Not posting this on the moms site because I’m interested in others’ perspectives on this as well. I am deeply uncomfortable with my kids’ activities ‘fundraisers.’ For us now it’s selling popcorn. As a kid, I sold Girl Scout cookies casually, but my parents very much took the position that if I was doing an activity, we weren’t going to foist the cost of that onto our neighbors and family. In my mind, cookies for money seems like a good deal but overpriced popcorn or wrapping paper just seems stupid. I think that our group gets maybe 35% of the sale price for these things and I hate that they ply the kids with prizes and contests. I mentioned this to a mentor (who grew up with modest means) and she actually looks back on that as something that was really beneficial to her – being assertive, having to articulate the benefits of the activity to others, interacting with adults. What do you all think, either as parents, ‘customers’, or having done this yourself?
Anon
I would always buy it when the neighborhood kids came around selling stuff that I didn’t want. I used to get a lot of them because I lived in a low income area and these kids didn’t have rich parents would could donate a lot to fully fund their troop. What’s the alternative for a lot of kids other than to have rich parents? It would be nice if the kids could solicit direct donations and fundraiser stuff but I can kind of see why they haven’t.
Anon
I feel like in that case, I’d buy under the umbrella of it lets people think that they are earning with dignity vs receiving handouts. In my zip code, I know the parents can write checks (and most of us just write a check to the org, so it can keep 100% of that as a donation).
Anon
I think it’s a waste and hate these sales, especially since IME over 95% of the work is done by the parents most of the time. For example, it’s very common for parents to bring in the girls court ordering form to the office and “ask” their coworkers, who are often at a lower level, if they want to purchase anything. I hate that. On the other hand, the grocery store in my neighborhood will have girl a court troops outside selling cookies on the weekends — the tables are largely run by the girls and I happily purchase some cookies.
Anon
People do pre-packaged fundraisers because it’s easy for the coaches or teachers to implement. Unfortunately, kids do not learn the lesson that having a fundraiser is not the same thing as people wanting to buy whatever it is you’re selling. You also get into the situation wherein the strain on the family is all out of proportion to the amount of money raised through these efforts.
One of the most successful fundraisers I’ve seen is a multi-family yard sale held at the school: people drop off their (reasonable condition) stuff in the days leading up to it and get a tax writeoff for the donation; kids sort, price, and set up objects for sale; kids help out at the yard sale on the day it runs.
anon
As a kid, we “fundraised” to our grandparents and closest neighbors, and that was it. We never won the prizes, but I think my parents also were pretty uncomfortable with it (and we did come from modest means). So far, I’ve had only one kid in Scouts, so we sold some overpriced popcorn to ourselves and the grandparents and called it a day. I really dislike fundraising and have a hard time forcing my kid to do it, although there’s something to be said for learning how to talk about the activity.
Anonymous
I see both sides of the argument. As a kid I did CampFire and we sold candy. I recall mostly setting up outside the grocery store, selling to strangers. I was a shy kid and I think it was good for me to learn to have these kind of interactions with people I didn’t know. I do feel like having the parents do the selling defeats the purpose, and don’t like that it’s become A Thing for parents to just take the flyer to the office to fulfill the minimum sell. But I do buy Girl Scout cookies from friends’ kids (I’d rather buy from someone I know than a stranger) so I guess I’m a little hypocritical on that point.
Anonymous
It doesn’t matter at all. Do it, don’t do it. It literally doesn’t matter.
nuqotw
When I was a kid the thing was selling fruit (really good fruit, actually). My parents absolutely forbade us to sell it to anyone other than them or my grandparents. My parents and grandparents loved the fruit and bought what they wanted. What I could not see then but understand now is teachers, neighbors, etc. were bombarded with requests from ALL the kids to buy the fruit and could not buy from everyone. Of course, this kind of rule only works if there is another source of money for the things that the sales cover. My parents had the money.
My kids aren’t selling these things yet. My feeling is we will decide whether we prefer to buy the thing or pay outright for trip or whatever they are raising money for.
My policy with other people’s kids is to only buy the thing if I want it. Yes selling teaches kids skills… and my feeling is one of the skills is to graciously accept that not everyone wants to buy the thing. In practice, that means I buy girl scout cookies and promptly smuggle them to my office.
Anon
I was involved in many activities as a kid/teen in the 80s and 90s and therefore had to participate in many fundraisers where I sold popcorn, cookie dough, wrapping paper, etc. What I mainly learned from those activities was how much I hate selling, and that has carried forward into my professional life. I have purposely chosen careers where I won’t have to be anywhere near selling. I hated walking around the neighborhood (or my dad’s work) and pitching people on buying whatever overpriced crap my coach/teacher/sponsor had decided we needed to hawk to earn money. It did not teach me how to be an extrovert; it taught me how much I dislike cold-calling people and thus ever since I have stayed far, far away from anything job-related that would require that to be successful. My husband had basically the same experience.
We have fortunately thus far been able to escape fundraisers for my son – his elementary/mid school had a “no fundraisers” policy and would ask for donations in lieu of getting kids to sell things (and donations were always made and were very generous because people were so grateful they got to escape having their kid sell wrapping paper). My son is now in high school and has been told he’ll have to participate in a fundraiser for one of his activities, but the fundraiser is going to be selling water and snacks at a table the school sponsors at a couple of basketball games this season. He has to work the table dispensing the items and/or collecting the money. That, to me, is a great fundraiser! You have a built-in audience of people who already want the product and you don’t have to go door-to-door hawking things. The most successful fundraiser I ever did in high school was selling donuts at a table before school. With the permission of the school, clubs bought the donuts, 5 or 6 dozen, and sold them for a dollar each. We’d usually sell out in 30 minutes and made a ton of money. It teaches a lot about organization, keeping your cool under pressure (we’d get mobbed by kids wanting donuts and had to keep track of the donuts and the money), how to make change, etc. Much prefer that to “fundraisers” that seem to primarily benefit the fundraising company.
Formerly Lilly
I too learned how much I hate selling, and it informed my life choices going forward.
Anon
I am so competitive that I usually won those things. It was a combination of competitive spirit and not having anything else to do (small town pre-internet.) I am not an amazing salesperson today but I’m still fairly competitive.
Anon
I can’t stand it because it’s turned into the parents selling and not the kids. I also sold Girl Scout cookies as a kid, but I walked around the neighborhood taking orders. Now it’s parents on Facebook or whatever and that’s irritating. I’ll buy from the kid with the lemonade stand but not their parents.
Anon
I remember selling wrapping paper and cookies, and I also remember that early rejection when a neighbor said no. It was important to learn and I do think a good experience for kids, especially as fewer kids have part-time jobs.
Seventh Sister
Our kids’ schools have moved away from wrapping paper, etc., and (mostly) gone to plain old money drives. One is a sort of jog-a-thon, which raises a huge amount but organized by a professional fundraising company. I prefer writing a check, but some people really like stuff.
On a macro level – I hate ALL of it, since we ought to live in a country where the schools get enough money no matter what the ZIP code. On a personal level, I will give money to kids who are selling stuff if I don’t want their chalky chocolate or whatever, and I have no resistance to high school athletes selling discount cards or uniformed girls at tables selling cookies. As a Girl Scout leader, I think cookies are more work it’s worth for the money, but some troops can’t raise $ any other way and the org basically makes it mandatory.
anon
I think that fundraising is intended to lower the cost of the activity for everyone involved. I’ve always hated scout popcorn, but I now understand that 30% goes to the council and 30% goes to the troop (which is why it’s so expensive0, a lot of which goes towards scholarships/funding for kids with modest means. Yes, I would rather just cut them a bigger check, but I understand that this doesn’t work for everyone.
I don’t mind foisting my kids on our family/close family friends (Grandma always needs an excuse to buy stuff…). Having said that, my 5th grader did in-person sales for the first time, and I think it was really great for him to experience being told no for awhile, and the satisfaction of making sales (for the 2 hours he had to be out there, I’m sure it all faded away by now).
Anon
i have a memory as a kid of selling wrapping paper or magazine subscriptions and coming up with a cute jingle and wearing costumes and going door-to-door on our block. i’m sure many people found this quite annoying, but in retrospect, at least i was doing some of it myself instead of my mom just doing it for me? if i wanted to ask relatives, i had to call them to ask, my parents didn’t just do it for me. in that respect, i do think i learned a lot about interacting with adults, creativity, etc. however, i think in the age of texting and social media, it has switched to being a lot more on the parents. i also think that there are more safety concerns of kids going door-to-door than there were many years ago both from the parents perspective and from the customer perspective. perhaps i’ve watched too much law and order but if a random kid rang my doorbell and it wasn’t halloween, i think they were part of some scheme (which i realize is quite sad that that would be my first instict)
Anon
We have a household rule that we do not buy school, sports, or Scouting fundraisers. Ever. My husband is a teacher, and I have a lot of nieces and nephews. Being fair to everyone we know who is selling would literally bankrupt us. So we just opt out.
anon
With the caveat that my experience is largely in areas where many parents could write a check for activities and it’s easy enough to find donors to cover scholarships for families with need…
I was raised by a single dad, who didn’t have time for this kind of stuff. He explained why the wrapping paper thing wasn’t a good use of time/money and I just didn’t participate. It was fine. Far better to focus on more important things.
Can you tell the organizer that you’re not participating, but instead donating?
Anon
I always would ask the school or organization what the “yield” has been per kid for this fundraiser and then write a check. It was such a paltry amount and having it off the family plate (mostly mine) made it money well spent.
Anon
I love that wrapping paper and I wish I knew a kid selling it! Don’t worry about pressuring people. We are all adults and can decide what we want to spend money on.
Anon
(That said, we often did what the poster above suggested and just wrote a check to Boy Scouts or the PTA, due to not having time to sell it)
Ribena
We don’t really do this so much here – the classic charity fundraising is supermarket bag packing, where (having done it myself a few years ago) a good number of customers will put a couple of £ in the bucket regardless of whether they want their bags packed for them.
(We don’t have bag packers in supermarkets here).
Anonymous
I’m visiting Rome in late Oct., my first trip to Italy! Suggestions for sight seeing? What to wear? I’m excited to plan a trip! Haven’t been anywhere since Feb. 2020.
Anon
I loved Rome! I think it’s my favorite big city. The famous sights are spectacular but I also loved just walking around the city, especially at night. It’s so photogenic and charming. Our best meal was at Osteria 44. We also loved a restaurant called Sofia. The gelato at Gelateria la Romana is the best I’ve had anywhere and I’ve been to Italy half a dozen times. We did a food tour in the Trastevere neighborhood that was fun and a way to see part of the city that didn’t have a major tourist attraction. We did a skip the line early morning tour at the Vatican and I thought that was worth it. If you like photography, bring a tripod. I normally only do that for nature/wildlife destinations but I got some spectacular long exposure shots of Rome at night. (Although honestly even the handheld shots are gorgeous because Rome is so pretty!)
Anonymous
Wear layers and really comfortable shoes! I did so many of the generally known tourist sites (Piazza Navona, Trevi Fountain, Vatican City tour, and on and on and on). Much of it was better than anticipated. I thought there would be disappointments, after having heard about this stuff for so long, but it was wonderful! Rick Steves does great guides with well-laid out city walks. Eat everything! Drink the wine! Have a FANTASTIC time!
Best tip I got about travel in general was great for Rome- travel with a notebook (I use a marble composition book), pens, and a gluestick. Many attractions and museums have images of the site/works on their tickets, and with the glue stick, you can paste them into the book and write about what you saw/thought. I would journal on a trip every day. At the end, I paste my map into the book, so I have a record of everyplace I saw, ate, and so forth. It is a wonderful way to revisit the trip when I get back. If you want specifics, respond and I’ll grab my book, but I it was a while ago, and who knows if the restaurants . . . are still there. I’d also look for small stuff- is there a small concert of Italian music intended to attract locals? Go! See what’s posted either online or physically around town when you get there and stay open to possibilities. ENJOY!
Hollis
You will love it. The highlight of my trip was a Bike Tour of Appian Way and the Aqueducts. I hate all manners of exercise, but the electric bike was awesome and I did the 6 hour tour and I loved it even more than the vatican, colosseum, etc. Also, get gelato twice a day and try all of the flavors.
missA
I did a pizza walking tour and it was so much fun.
Anonymous
If you have lab work and a physical coming up in a month would you consider it “wrong” to work out a bit/eat better? I mean I’m not someone who is eating fried chicken daily and now saying ok I’ll eat broccoli for a month. Frankly it’s more on the workout side than the eating side anyway. Pre pandemic I used to walk 2 miles on an average day, 1.4 miles on a slow day — this was all just daily activity with commuting and walking around a city to get lunch. Since the pandemic I’m still WFH and I’m lucky if I walk a mile per week. I have no work out routine – I get my exercise incidentally. Yet now thinking about it, part of me things maybe walking a mile/day this month wouldn’t be a terrible idea? I know it’s sort of cheating but I also fear a situation where cholesterol, triglycerides etc. come back high and then I have drs telling me nope you’re 40, you have no choice but meds etc. This would be less of a problem if I had had lab work yearly and someone would be able to say – oh a pandemic year is an anomaly. Yet as it stands, my last lab work was probably 3-4 years ago. Tell me why this is a bad idea?
Anon
Nothing wrong with it at all.
anon
I am actually doing this right now (I am pre-diabetic and have a follow up visit with my PCP in a month, and want to get my A1c down to below 5.7 if at all possible). I actually think it works well for me – because if I do well this month and get good results on my bloodwork, it will motivate me to continue my best efforts. So I don’t think it’s bad at all, go for it!
Anon
I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, but also don’t think it will matter. If a month of walking a mile a day means that your numbers are fine, no good doctor would have recommended meds in the first place.
Anon
+1
Anon
I don’t think anyone is going to scold you for it, but what are you hoping to accomplish? A marathon month of unrealistic lifestyle choices that let you hide your health problems from yourself?
Anonymous
Huh? To me it sounds like OP is trying to give them a picture of the lifestyle she had pre pandemic, which I assume she expects to return to when she starts commuting again. It’s not unrealistic that someone who used to walk 2 miles/day now walks 1 mile/day. OP I don’t think it hurts to do this. Honestly I’d be more weary if you were doing this on the eating side – from fried chicken every day to oatmeal and beets because that isn’t sustainable, whereas simulating some % of your prior activity doesn’t seem unrealistic.
Senior Attorney
It’s a bad idea because your blood work is supposed to show what your health IS. If you plan to continue exercising more, then go for it. But as somebody said above, hiding possible bad health from yourself is not a good plan.
Anonymous
I think drs. are seeing tons of people saying the same thing – I’m home all day so my natural 2 miles/day of commuting exercise is gone; at least in the metro areas where commuting by training and walking is a thing. So your dr. won’t be shocked to hear that and assuming that that has just made a borderline difference for you then may just tell you to add that walking back into your schedule and retest in 3-6 months. So I guess if you want to avoid that – and the stress of that – I think adding 1 mile back in is perfectly fine.
Anonymous
I always try to get myself in shape for my annual physical. It’s a good reminder to get back on the wagon. Often I can keep it up too so I am better off long term.
Hollis
Hmm, I’m not seeing how this would be anything but a GREAT idea. You may love it and continue walking, eating broccoli, and other good habits while working from home, so it could be a win-win? My life insurance scheduler recommended that I avoid ice cream for a week before the mandatory physical – did not hurt me one bit to do this and what’s the downside?
Anon
I think someone should teach a seminar on Britney and the law. Today: she is engaged! OTOH, she has a conservator. OTOH, marriage is a fundamental right (and deciding whether to bear children). Can her conservator stop her from getting married? Or get a marriage annulled? [And if she died married, the spouse is the next of kin and controls her estate likely vs her parents; many states have laws protecting kids who aren’t a surviving spouse’s kids, but IDK re California.] How will this work with the IUD? [She is 39, so at the age where this is timely — it’s not like she is 18 or 60, where time is irrelevant or not as pressing.] I am happy if she is happy (and yet sad, b/c I bet she has paid for every right she has gotten and pretty sure that if her $ makes her attractive to a lot of not-so-great men).
Anonymous
follow lawyersforbritney on IG.
Anonymous
I generally really hate celeb culture but man do I ever have a soft spot for Britney. She has been through so much trauma and abuse, I just want her to be happy.
Anon
Ugh, autocorrect + Mondays — she has paid for every *ring* she has gotten (just guessing)
Anon
It would seem as if this *should* be a non-issue, as almost anyone in need of a conservator *should* lack the capacity to consent to marriage (a fairly low bar); whether or not the law explicitly says both are the same, those Venn diagram circles will have quite a bit of overlap. This highlights the problem with having a conservator for a 39 year old woman who is holding down a job, making millions of dollars, and falling in love: even if we don’t like her decisions, grown adults have the right to make bad decisions. We circumscribe those decisions with neutral laws, not by treating adults like children by having other adults make decisions for them.
Anon
Anyone up for giving some biglaw advice?
I was at LW in a non-NY office and doing a weird mix of stuff but very little M&A which is what I wanted. It was 2020, my second year was ending and I knew I had to jump and I knew it wasn’t a great time to move but I had to do it because I wasn’t going to be an M&A attorney if I didn’t because I would be a 3rd year with so little experience. I jumped but fell down the ratings a good bit and am now doing M&A but am missing having lots of 1st years to staff on deals and being on slightly bigger deals across from more sophisticated counsel so I am thinking about leaving again because the market is so hot. The issue is, I interviewed with an LW-level firm for M&A and I think they thought I did M&A at LW and were excited by that but that’s not true.
Cornellian
I know women constantly undersell themselves, so i hate giving this advice, but coming in as a third or fourth year without the commensurate 3-4 years of full-time experience assumed is a rough place to be. That’s when the classes start culling and folks either gear up for a partner run or get pushed to leave, in my experience, and you may end up on the wrong side of that calculation. A third move in 3-4 years is another reason I would err on the side of not jumping yet.
FWIW I did a mix of M&A and funds at an AmLaw 100 (maybe 50?) and then made the jump to an elite 100% funds practice as a fourth year, and it hurt. My experience is NYC-based.
anon
you might be better off signaling to your recruiter that you would be willing to take a class year cut. have been seeing top tier big law firms asking candidates from lower tier firms to take a class cut for review purposes but pay them commensurate with your law school year. you’ll be roughly economically neutral, but will have a softer landing on the lateral move and be better positioned substantively.
Anon
good idea. I wasn’t working with a recruiter really for this recent disappointment because I randomly met a partner at the firm at a thing and then it turned into recruiting but I could communicate that to my recruiter
Anon
Wow, losing a year for review purposes but being paid the correct year seems generous! I left Big Law in 2015 but when I was there everyone who lost a year had to take the pay hit too. It makes sense to me – if they can only bill you out as a second year, they’re not going to want to pay you a third year salary.
Fwiw, fairly different situation, but I graduated law school in 2010 and after being un- or under-employed for about a year I got a job in Big Law. They offered me a 2011 associate position (for both pay and promotion). Even though it worked out to significantly less money over the four years I worked there, I’m so glad I didn’t push to be treated as a 2010. People expected me to know nothing when I started and I was able to work hard, learn fast and exceed their expectations. But the expectations for second years are so different than first years and I think I would have worked myself to death, been miserable AND done an unsatisfactory job if I’d pushed to come in as a second year.
Anon
I am talking to my recruiter today and I am not going to mention where I’d be paid. I they wanted to keep me as a class year 2018 the rest of this year and then become a class year 2019 as well for salary and review, I would be fine with that. I think it would be good for me honestly. If they wanted me to come in as a 2019 this year then I guess I could. idk
Huh
I don’t quite understand why you want to move again. Is it just a ranking issue? I would not do it for that reason.
Anon
No on my current 8 deals, 2 of them are across from big law and the others are across from law shops that don’t do this work which makes everything so much harder. Like Jane Doe LLP type shops or family law places. And we don’t have juniors so I’m up doing closing checklists at midnight because I can’t give it to anyone and I’m not learning how to review work really because I don’t have juniors under me to review