ByElizabeth Hours Updated
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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Rayon Stand-Collar Three-Quarter-Sleeve Blouse

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Uniqlo is a great source for workwear staples. Their EZY Ankle-Length Pants make it into my rotation at least once a week, and recently I’ve been wearing the heck out of this white rayon blouse. It’s a little on the sheer side, so I always make sure to wear it with a camisole, but it’s otherwise perfect for me. It’s really soft and “wrinkle-resistant,” which, in my experience, means that as long as you pull it out of the dryer while it’s still warm, give it a good shake, and put it on a hanger, you can get away without ironing or steaming. Given the price, I think I’ll probably be adding the black and perhaps a back-up copy of the white to my collection soon. The blouse is $29.90 and comes in sizes XXS–XXL. In addition to white, it comes in black, navy, light blue, and orange. Right now you can get $10 off the XXS and XXL sizes. Rayon Stand-Collar Three-Quarter-Sleeve Blouse This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

267 Comments

    3. I don’t know about this specific dress but I do find dresses with a tie like this are very kind to my permanent post-part I’m belly.

    4. I tried this one on from Vince Camuto and the fabric was really nice–like the picture doesn’t do it justice and was amazed it was machine washable. Really flattering, too. They also carry it in Plus and I believe in a red color as well:

      https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/vince-camuto-tie-waist-crepe-sheath-dress-regular-petite/5321449?country=US&currency=USD&mrkgcl=760&mrkgadid=3313965372&utm_content=33067301509&utm_term=aud-784044116575:pla-82077594115&utm_channel=shopping_ret_p&sp_source=google&sp_campaign=662927179&rkg_id=0&adpos=1o4&creative=145503089195&device=c&matchtype=&network=g&gclid=Cj0KCQjwr-_tBRCMARIsAN413WS_DZuzmgTcUT9bN5EGUNNM2U_xPMe1Uz2EGttDbIqcsLw9utptB8oaAn1iEALw_wcB

    5. Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love Fruegel Friday’s and these pick’s, Elizabeth! Whatever happened to Kate? Did she get MARRIED? It’s been a while, and with Kat tending to her toddler, perhaps Kate too has had a child? Let us know, as Elizabeth, you too may be next!

      Anyway, for $31 @ Macy’s, we really can’t go too wrong. My only reservation about Rayon is that it does not breath, and as a result, if we sweat, it retains the sweat and we are more likely to smell if we don’t clean the dress after each use. Dad warned me about Rayon years ago, particularly b/c of my feet, but there I always wear cotton socks if I am not wearing stockings. And I know NOT to get fake fur slippers, only real sheepskin, b/c of the stink.

      I am watching Myrna run the Marathon, but I will be standing near the 59th street bridge when she comes over from Brooklyn back into Manahattan. I hope she is faster then last year, tho she was under 4 hours, I need to be able to time it in case it is cold out Sunday. I will find a Starbucks nearby, or just go to Bloomies until I think she will be coming over. She did NOT want to carry her phone to text me, so I am on my own. Considering how nice she was to Grandma Leyeh over the holidays when she had a boil on her nose, I must remember to reciprocate, Dad says.

      Anyway, I have been so busy, but I got more then I needed in Billing last month, so the manageing partner will let me carry over the 400 excess, which means an easy November of 6800 hours! That leaves me with extra time to read the internet, including this wonderful site! So happy Friday, Corporette’s!!!! TRIPEL YAY!!!!

  2. This is our first cold day and now that we have gone really casual at work, I’m all about the corduroy and turtlenecks. Embrace the cozy? I can do style 3 seasons of a year, but not when I’m freezing. Or is there a way do wear cords and turtlenecks but make it fashion?

      1. I think cords are more comfy when it’s so cold that your jeans get stiff and cold. Cords stay softer. Wide-wale cords are definitely warmer in general, maybe thinner cords are a bit warmer. I had a great pair of thin-wale gray cords that were straight leg (could get tucked into boots or go over an ankle bootie) that were very versatile and I thought looked pretty good.

      2. Yes to turtlenecks – covering the back of my neck makes such a difference in how warm I am. That’s why scarves are such a thing in the winter.

        Re Cords vs Jeans – eh. Most jeans aren’t that stiff anymore. But if the Cords are a thicker fabric than most denim today, it probably helps. I wonder if the thicker pile also helps hold in body heat – like fine down on a duck :)

        OP – the way to make these fashion is going to be able the cut, I think. Slim cut turtlenecks (think skiing baselayer fitted) with boot cut cords and a fitted puffer vest over the top, or a funnel neck, hip-length sweater (with a layer underneath) with skinny cut jeans/cords.

      3. Turtlenecks make SUCH a difference. I live in super cold winters with ridiculous wind/windchill, and if you don’t want to go all the way to wearing your ski long underwear under your clothes, sometimes just a pair of regular leggings under my jeans has kept me in that nice mid-zone. Layers are usually the answer, one way or another. :)

    3. My office is very casual so I usually wear dark wash jeans. Turtlenecks don’t work with my body type so I usually layer with a long sleeve knit top and an open, drapey cardigan. Sometimes I’ll even put on a very thin shirt as a base layer if I’m really cold. I don’t pay attention to trends so I’m still wearing skinny jeans and ankle boots and sometimes mid-calf boots. When it’s really cold and snowy I will wear knee high boots. And I have my heating pad on my chair year round.

      1. I’m all about boot-cut cords and dark jeans in winter b/c I can wear boots and wool socks. Soooooo helpful in staying warm. I just can’t have a bare foot in a shoe and any exposed ankle skin, at least when it is our damp nasty cold winters.

        1. Me neither, yet I see women with bare feet and exposed ankles ALL THE TIME and just wonder how they aren’t freezing and miserable.

    4. I’m wearing Banana Republic merino sweaters, infinity scarves, jeans and booties until March.

    5. I wear a long open duster sweater over my turtleneck. Couldn’t say whether it’s stylish though- I know the colors flatter me at least. Turtleneck plus puffer vest (indoors) is a common look on the other women- more sporty-stylish.

    6. loong pretty earrings? dainty necklaces and chains over the turtlenecks? Beautiful jewel tones? More layers in the form of blazers or wraps on the turtlenecks to add cozy and interest?
      i live in germany and the ladies here take comfort and coziness seriously, so ymmv

    7. I need more than just a turtleneck to keep warm!!! I always layer the extra warm Uniqlo heat tech shirts under whatever I’m wearing – we’re not casual but the same principle would apply.

      1. Yes — if I am ever wearing a cotton interlock turtle, it’s just a layer. But I have wool turtles that I do layer under.

    8. I work in casual office in Northern California (so it is not east coast cold and it doesn’t snow here). My winter uniform is jeans, ankle boots, silk /cotton top, wool cardigan/blazer, wool scarf. Wool scarf is a must because I love wool scarves and it not only keep my neck warm, it keeps my chest area warm too.I used to wear flannel lined jeans, but I have put on some weight and all the extra flannel makes me feel very bulky now, so I have stopped wearing that. I think I will layer thin thermals under jeans when it gets rainy and cold. I have also left a wool (hand knit my me) blanket at work to put on my legs if it gets very cold.

          3. Oops. That was me. I just discovered them this year and already have two. I wear them a lot!

        2. This season, I bought Pendleton shetland wool cardigan in red and black. They have wooly texture, but I love them. I will other colors when they go on sale next time. I have two wool blazers from previous seasons from Pendleton. I have a long cabled cardigan from LLBean from last year. I have cashmere pullovers also from LLBean but as I have mentioned, I have gained weight and pullovers accentuate my tummy. So not wearing them this season. All are 100% wool and I intend to wear them for years. Links to follow.

          1. cardigan:
            https://www.pendleton-usa.com/product/womens-shetland-washable-wool-cardigan-10038.html?dwvar_10038_color=8187&cgid=women-featured-new-arrivals#sitelinks=WomensCollection&mrkgcl=846&mrkgadid=1844674474&adpos=1t1&creative=362747809415&device=c&matchtype=e&network=g&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsrOvnJ7J5QIV2SCtBh1N8ALYEAAYASACEgLbEvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds&start=6&cgid=women-featured-new-arrivals

            Blazer: Similar in style to, will buy this when it goes on sale
            https://www.pendleton-usa.com/product/womens-brynn-patch-pocket-wool-blazer-243676.html?rv=true&&mrkgcl=846&mrkgadid=1497501219&adpos=1o2&creative=46149283572&device=c&matchtype=&network=g&gclid=EAIaIQobChMInNqijJ_J5QIVbR6tBh1KDAMQEAQYAiABEgLq7_D_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

            LLBean cashmere sweaters similar to:
            https://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/78419?page=classic-cashmere-crewneck&bc=12-27-513435&feat=513435-GN3&csp=f

            LLBean long cardigan similar to the link below, but last year they had 100% wool:
            https://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/123517?page=heritage-sweater-cable-cardigan&bc=12-27-516607-611&feat=611-GN3&csp=f

          2. Nice! Are any of those itchy? I’d love to buy some quality wool to have for a long time, but I’m sensitive to itchiness.

          3. LLBean cashmere sweaters are not itchy, they are very soft and good quality (minimal pilling). But all others are not even merino, just plain wool. So they are not super soft, so might by itchy if you are sensitive, but they are of good quality and will last for multiple seasons.

    9. Now that we are denim casual ( = really casual), OK to just order the whole LL Bean catalog and wear it to work? I just freeze inside the office. Their stuff seems to be warm. Tired of people selling short-sleeved dresses and scoop-neck shirts for winter. I need layers and layers of seriously warm things to stay warm when I am sitting still at a desk job.

      1. I have just posted links above with LLBean items in it. I have them in my wardrobe on regular rotation.

      2. Yes to ordering all of LL Bean (that’s what I’m doing at my jeans casual place of work). I also have a J Crew Factory down vest that lives at my desk year round and is my version of a work cardigan.

        But also find excuse to get up and walk around to get the blood moving. Even if that just means drinking lots of water so you have to go to the bathroom :)

    11. Today I’m doing burgundy corduroys, chunky black sweater and black rothys. I have black boots to change into when I go outside. Yes to being cozy!

    12. Live in Northern New England so my winter outfits for my super casual office (you can basically wear whatever you want) are the following – slouchy turtleneck sweaters with dark or medium wash, straight leg jeans and some sort of boot (flat, heeled, etc.); ribbed and/or slim fit turtleneck with flare jeans and Dr Scholl’s platform wedge heels; cowlneck tunic-style sweaters with a skinny-ish leg jean for bad weather days, so I can tuck my pant legs into duck boots (LL Bean unlined with wool socks or Sperry fleece-lined) and then switch into flats for inside (usually some sort of low profile sneaker ala Keds or loafer, as they are super easy to pack in my work tote). I keep a super thick, zip-up sweatshirt at my desk for when I’m extra cold. I don’t really like scarves, so in lieu of wearing them, I buy turtlenecks, cowlnecks, and mocknecks to keep me warm.

    13. Stretch velvet jeans are my new happy Friday pants. Narrow leg so I can wear with heeled boots or flats. In “zinc” color from LandsEnd.

  3. IDK — I think double-breasted jackets look weird unbuttoned and feel that one doesn’t button blazers when sitting, so it may look flappy? I think it is a look that a sort of J. Thurston Howell III can pull off on a yacht.

  4. (Apologies if this is a duplicate – technical difficulties). Anyone want to vicariously shop for some fun but professional costume jewelry? I have an evening work event coming up in a few weeks that I need some help accessorizing for. Dress code is business formal, so I’m planning on wearing my favorite black pant suit. I am pregnant and just entering the “cute bump” phase (after many weeks in the “ate a large burrito” phase), but the suit works fine with a belly band. I’m thinking I’ll pair it with a nice quality slightly silky black maternity tee, and my favorite white and black pumps. To tie in the white from the shoes and break up all the black on top, I’m envisioning a substantial necklace with some white in it. But I’m kind of clueless about jewelry. Are “statement” necklaces still in? Would a longer pendant be better? Where should I look for something like this, for $30-50? Baublebar? Etsy? I would love some specific suggestions!

    1. I don’t think “statement” necklaces are particularly on trend now as they were ubiquitous 5-10 years ago. Dainty, layered jewelry is more on trend. I suggest checking out the Gorjana and Kendra Scott selection at N0rdstr0m for some ideas!

      1. I think statement necklaces are actually a classic piece of any wardrobe – the chunkiness and materials go in and out of style, but a showpiece necklace on an otherwise plain outfit is kind of an “always has been and always will be here” sort of thing. A long pendant necklace will not go with this outfit and a short pendant one will be too subdued for all the black.
        Large and plastic statement necklaces are out, as are collar necklaces. I’d stick to either a mid-weight sparkly necklace or mid-weight small/medium beaded necklace, especially something that peaks through the blazer collar. I like the below:
        BEADED
        https://www.amazon.com/Bocar-Statement-Cluster-Necklace-NK-10351-black/dp/B0754JVJWG/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=bocar+bead+black+and+white&psc=1&qid=1572620095&sr=8-2
        https://www.amazon.com/Bocar-Statement-Cluster-Necklace-NK-10351-black/dp/B07D6RS1K5?ref_=ast_bbp_dp
        https://www.amazon.com/Bocar-Crystal-Statement-Necklace-NK-10061-White/dp/B0785KHPD9?ref_=ast_bbp_dp

        SPARKLY
        https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07BT4N97L/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_hFeVDbCABMJN7
        https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00X64E35U/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_pFeVDb2VSKAGA
        https://www.amazon.com/Kikole-Statement-Necklace-Multilayer-Jewelry/dp/B07K77CRJ9/ref=alp_dpwidget_a_w_?th=1&smid=A2JBSC2U024RVO

      2. Wow, the lesson here, I guess, is “save all your costume jewelry for your whole life because it all comes around again.”

        I do kind of love that Gucci necklace.

        1. My grandmother saved nearly every piece of jewelry she ever had and when she passed, my aunts and cousins and I divided it up and we all wear her pieces all the time. It doesn’t take long, these days, for something that is “dated” to become “vintage chic.” I saved all my statement necklaces because I know the time is coming around again when they’ll be back in fashion.

    4. I’d do statement earrings instead. I just did a hunt for costume jewelry for our office Christmas party, and I really love the Thomas Laine line that Nordstrom carries. Was expensive for costume. But the quality was outstanding. Like anything else just paled in comparison so I splurged.

      1. Oh man I LOVE that. I might have to do it even though it’s more than 2x my budget…

    6. I think I’d just wear white pearls.

      But then again, wearing pearls is my answer for everything.

  5. Anyone try gua sha on their own or as part of a facial? Feeling very puffy/ inflamed lately and wondering whether this could help. Any thoughts/ recs?

    1. Gua sha convert! It’s not a miracle treatment to rid of puffiness (unfortunately!), but I do notice a slight improvement afterwards. I apply oil and then lightly use 1-2x a day. I prefer it to the jade roller. I find the routine soothing, which is enough for me to stick with it!

  6. What was the smartest improvement you have made to your house/apartment?

    What was the improvement that made you most happy?

    This can be huge such as adding a new bathroom to tiny such as adding a hook for your backpack so it has a place to go.

    1. Smartest: We added storage racks that hang from the ceiling in our garage. We don’t have an attic, so this was critical.

      Happiest: We replaced our laminate and carpet flooring with engineered hardwood. I love the way it looks, the way it feels when I walk on it, and the ease of cleaning it.

    2. In our last house: master bathroom!!!! So I could go at night without going through multiple doors! And heated floors!

      In this house: I fixed my closet with built-ins. Still waiting on $$ to do the garage – that will be the next happiest project. :) We’ve never had a working garage (last house also only had a driveway) so it will be great when we can get it done!

      1. We are looking at adding heated floors to our master, any tips or advice? We have a radiator line but are debating whether that or electric is better. Do you have yours on a timer or are they just set to come on when the heat runs? Thanks!

        1. Not the same poster but we installed electric heated floors in our master bath. It is a game changer; I LOVE THEM. So much that we even added electric heated floors to the kitchen and mudroom when we retiled those areas. Ours are controlled on a schedule by a touchscreen panel so they turn on/off at certain times and you can adjust them as needed as well. The brand is Schluter I think. The master bath electric floor made almost no difference in our electric bill, but the room is small so YMMV.

    3. Really well made cabinets and closets. They last a really long time (15 years and counting) and still look good. Real wood floors. Tile made here in the U.S. Energy efficient windows. Energy efficient window shades. Lots of insulation.

    4. I don’t know that we’ve done anything smart – we haven’t done much to our house except a kitchen reno and routine maintenance. The kitchen reno made me the happiest, especially the island. We did a standard remove-and-replace (new cabinets, countertops, appliances, backsplash etc) without changing the layout, except we enlarged the kitchen island. I drew some pictures of what I wanted the island to look like (glass cabinets on one side, the kind of feet I wanted it to have). We chose the finishes for the rest of the renovation of course but the island is the only part of my home that really feels custom made and I love it.

    5. Just this week we replaced carpet in our living and dining rooms and two bedrooms with laminate flooring. The carpet was there when we moved in and it wasn’t in terrible shape, but I don’t like carpet in general and the previous owners must have had a lot of pets, or at least several that had accidents in the house, and despite two deep cleanings we could still smell a distinctive “pet accident” odor, especially when it rained. We are already so, so happy we got the carpet out. No more odor, the laminate looks great (laminate’s come a long way in a short time; everyone that’s seen it thinks it’s hardwood) and it will be much easier to take care of. We still have a carpeted staircase and upstairs bedroom and are now planning on trying to get that replaced as soon as possible.

    6. I installed a custom closet in my master, and I’m only kind of kidding when I say it’s my favorite room in the house. The real beauty of it, though, is that it freed up so much space in my bedroom because I no longer needed a dresser or any other storage. I was able to bring in a chair and create a little reading nook in my bedroom, without anything feeling crowded or cluttered.
      And while it’s not an improvement I made, the double-headed shower in my master bath brings me such joy. I will never be able to go back.

    7. Happiest- Elfa closets and storage systems everywhere!!! In bedroom closets, kitchen pantry, linen closet, and laundry room. It’s amazing how much more storage there is.

      Smartest- taking the shelves out of lower kitchen cabinets and replacing them with Rev a Shelf sliding shelves that extend all the way out! it makes it so much easier to get to all the pots/pans/mixing bowls that we need to store there.

    8. Can’t make many permanent improvements to my rental, but very happy to have bought a bidet. Also very happy that I came into possession of the armchair my grandparents bought when they were newly married in the 1940s. It’s been used continuously ever since, reupholstered twice, and now it’s mine.

      1. Also in a rental and happy to have swapped out my standard shower head for a handheld one with multiple functions. It makes such a difference! Don’t have to get my hair wet if I dont want to, and easier to rinse the shower while cleaning. It was a 5 minute DIY install and I can uninstall and bring to my next apartment whenever I move (I stuck the original shower head under the sink for this reason).

    9. I mostly have happy things:
      * Took the door off the stairs to the finished 1/2 story attic. It lets the sun from the south facing window at the top of the stairs light up the main floor. I hang a curtain sheer in the winter to prevent *all* the heat from going up the stairs.
      * Solar powered, motioned detect lights by the side door – no need to call an electrician, and I can see my keys when going in and out of the most used door in my house.
      * Taking out the old fixed shelves in 2 (soon to be 3) closets and replaced with Elfa/Rubbermaid systems. Small house, small closets – but they work better now.

      Smart things on the future list:
      *trenchless replacement of the sewer line. Our city lets you add the cost of doing it to your property taxes (plus interest), so if I ever sell, the future buyers can also help pay for that benefit. Would line the existing clay pipes with plastic, so that I don’t have to clean out the roots that grow in between the seams. It’s step one towards finishing the basement.
      *adding an exhaust fan to the bathroom
      *retrofitting or replacing the storm windows for energy efficiency

    10. Assigning dedicated cabinet space in the kitchen for the kids’ paper, crayons, and other art supplies that always end up migrating there so that they don’t live on the counter indefinitely. And baskets near the entryway for gloves, hats, and scarves in the winter.

    11. Not in my current house, but in the past: zoned heating. It’s amazing to have the option to keep part of the house warmer as needed, instead of just mindlessly cranking up the thermostat and hoping enough heat goes where you want it to. A similar effect can be had with small space heaters, but zoning is safer (especially considering we have mischievous pets).

      1. If you get a NEST thermostat with a sensor, you can prioritize where gets more heat. I do this in my townhouse because the upstairs always gets so much warmer and then it’s impossible to sleep. It is DELIGHTFUL.

      2. Zoned AC is a godsend in the summer for us, since the bedrooms are in a converted attic and have terrible insulation. I’ll never go back.

    12. I love organization!

      Previous owners added custom organizers to all the bedroom closets. None of the closets are large, so it makes a huge difference.

      We used Ikea Hemnes tv unit and bookshelves to make a mudroom-like situation for our entry hall. It’s so nice to have set places for keys, backpacks, purses, shoes, hats and gloves, etc. Our house is so much neater, and I know where my stuff is!

      We just switched our master bathroom vanity to one with drawers instead of a cabinet. Much better.

    13. I changed out all of the blinds for the thick faux wood blinds. It’s a nice polished look and blocks a lot of sunlight and keeps my costs down, especially in the summer. I also replaced a lot of my light fixtures and that made me happy because they’re a lot prettier.

    14. Smartest: Building a bench and built-in thing with coat hooks and overhead cubbies — in our garage. We have cubbies on top It keeps all the coats from taking over our tiny laundry room and is so functional.

      Happiest: All the work we’ve done on our outdoor space – -retaining wall, ginormous patio, raised deck, really nice ($$$) deck furniture. We are the hosting house in the summer because we have a great space to do it. And it’s pretty, too.

    15. Replaced as many bulbs/fixtures with LEDS (including throughout my basement) so we barely ever have to change bulbs. Added extra lighting when doing this in the bathrooms and I’m amazed that I can actually see.

    16. Smartest – we consolidated the main bath and master bath into one walk-through. The old master bath now has the tub/shower and toilet; the main bath has two sinks and lots of cabinets. There’s a pocket door between the two. The original baths were back-to-back so there was minimal plumbing redone. Love, love, love it.

      Happiest – we installed a gutter guard on the front of our house this spring. That means DH won’t have to use an extension ladder to clean out those gutters which are close to many trees. I’ve always worried about him falling, especially since half the gutter is over the concrete driveway.

      1. So you a normal bathroom with a door between the shower and sinks now? Or you have two full bathrooms connected with a door for some reason?

        1. Yeah, this sounds super weird haha. Do you have kids? Why would you presumably remove a tub/shower?!?! Unless you never plan in reselling in which case live your life!

      2. Love it!
        I was thinking too to add the small bathroom to the big one as I only really need one. Regarding the door between sinks and wc that it is the norm in France and quite usual in other countries. Lets say that a person could be doing his/her bussines in th wc area while other could be using the sink without need (if you don’t want) sharing smells, noises.. etc.

    17. A number of small things that make a huge difference; created a small command center in our Butler’s pantry. One side is pantry, the other side was empty with upper cabinets (there used to be laundry below). My husband hacked a desk and bench for the kids, we keep a bin of the extra curricular stuff under the bench and put in hooks for backpacks and coats. I keep my labelling stuff, tape,stationary and cook books over the desk with printer. The kids each have a slot in a metal organizer from Ikea that is mounted to the cabinet doors and I have two transparent sleeves mounted on the doors that hold a weekly menu plan and a shopping list that any of us can add to.

      We also diy’ed a quick bench and upper shelves in the garage for the kids to use as a wet landing zone. (Canadian winters and they walk to school).

      I used adhesive hooks on the inside of ancient kitchen cabinets and hang measuring spoons and cups there and tape the most often used recipes on other doors.

    18. Smartest – bought pantry inserts for the shelves so that I can see things better that are in the back (I can’t think of what they’re called, but they look like stairs.) My most favorite – had a designer from California Closets design my closet. It’s the happiest place in my house, it’s SO, SO functional. After 5 years, I’m still in love with it.

    19. Smartest – foundation work (expensive but necessary, old house in earthquake country)

      Most enjoyment – a remodeled kitchen. It’s not going to win any design awards and almost everything is from Home Cheapo, but the old kitchen was so ugly and poorly laid out, the new kitchen continues to be a joy 11 years in.

    20. Smartest — we installed a doggy door between our laundry room and kitchen, since laundry room is where the litter boxes are — we can keep them behind a closed door but they’re still accessible by the cats.

    21. Adding on an attached carport – both the smartest thing and what’s made me the happiest.

      My house has an integral 2 car garage, but when you use a 2-car garage for storage, it no longer fits 2 cars. Plus, parking a car in an integral garage has its own set of issues: When it’s rainy or snowy out, the garage is wet, which makes the house damp. Your car tracks dirt into the garage, which you end up tracking into the house.

      With the carport, all the dirt and wet and ick stays outside. Less dirt gets tracked inside. When we used our woodburner, we had a place to stack firewood outside where it stayed dry. Cars stay snow-free in the winter. We have a nice, dry, fairly clean and protected place to work outside on DIY projects. And it’s so nice to carry groceries in the house from the car or load the car for a weekend at camp and not worry about getting rained on and all my stuff getting wet. There are so many benefits besides just having a covered area to park the cars.

      I’m sure if I ever got the chance to re-do the kitchen, that would be my smartest/happiest but right now, that carport is absolutely worth every penny spent!

      I

  7. Its November! Give me your favorite fall potluck suggestions. Bring on the brussels sprouts, squash, sage, pecans, bacon, and brown butter.

    1. Andrew Carmellini’s recipe for Cauliflower with Brown Butter, Pear, Sage, and Hazelnuts. I usually make it for Thanksgiving but it’s simple enough to make for a potluck!

    3. Sweet potato casserole. Cornbread made with sour cream and canned corn (sounds terrible but it is so easy and delish).

  8. NOVA folks – anyone have a house cleaner they would recommend? I’m at the point that I just need someone to come in once a month for a deep clean that I hate doing for about 650 sq ft. TIA!

    2. Mayoli (MY-olee) Barrios – 240-640-9386 – she texts

      I’ve had housekeepers for 12 years now (not all in the DMV) and she is without a doubt one of my very favorites. Not only does she clean your house, she’s kind, caring, cheerful, and thoughtful. And her rates are reasonable – when I was single, I paid $70/wk for her to do my 900/2/1 condo. I got married and live in a 1400/3/2 now and she charged $120/wk, but I just gave her a raise to $140/wk because I love her so much.

    3. Maria Gonzales and her team clean my house in Arlington every 2 weeks. We have a dog and have to take her out of the house and Maria’s team works very efficiently so disruption to us is minimal. 571.251.1375. She texts.

    4. Sylvia Torrico. She’s worked for me for 8 years and I frequently tell my husband that Sylvia, not he, is my longest successful relationship. She is very good at what she does, and she is kind and funny at the same time. (703) 485-5679

  9. I’m looking to replace our beat up living room armchair, preferably with leather. I’m not in a rush and am willing to wait a bit for a deal. Any suggestions for timing or sources that might have sales beyond the usual 20% at Pottery Barn? Thanks!

    1. Ethan Allen runs periodic sales – they alternate what types of pieces are included so you might have to be patient. The fact that Pottery Barn backs their leather pieces with fabric — essentially meaning you can never flip the cushion over — highly annoys me.

    2. We’ve bought 3 separate leather arm chairs in local auctions that have been amazing deals and look brand new. If you’re willing to wait a bit and hunt around, you might find something good that way.

  10. We are redoing our kitchen island (prep space and eating space) and were thinking of leathered soapstone. Spouse is in LOVE with it. Turns out: neighbors have some and hate it — it seems to scratch very easily. And always look dirty.

    Need more annecdata, b/c the soapstone (or whatever) needs to be ordered soon and its dark color was driving the paint color of the island / walls / etc.

    Help!

    2. YES YES YES to soapstone!
      I love it both for looks and functionality. The folks at my local stoneyard say they can tell a “soapstone” person as soon as they drive up, LOL. It’s not to everyone’s taste, but I wouldn’t have anything else.

    3. To me the most important consideration for a kitchen island that will be actively used is durability and cleanability. You need something that won’t nick, scratch, or stain easily and non-porous (for sanitation reasons). Looks are secondary. With soapstone you’re going to constantly maintain it and it will get to be a pain in the but. Do you really want a countertop that you have to sand and oil regularly?

      I am always an advocate for crushed quartz. Secondarily granite (but only if you seal it regularly and get a dark color because wine will stain it if not sealed properly).

      1. You don’t have to sand and oil it constantly. I never do! If there’s a bad nick, I’ll rub it out with a green scratchy pad, but honestly, I think I’ve only done that once. Signs of use enhance it, IMO. Oiling is cosmetic only. Soapstone is non-porous and non-reactive. You can put a hot skillet directly on it and not worry. That’s why it’s historically been used in laboratories.

        2. I used to have soapstone, and I LOVED IT. I would absolutely install it in our current house but our kitchen doesn’t have much natural light. Ours wasn’t leathered, however. I would go with more polish if I were you because I do think that more texture can be harder to keep clean.

    4. I loved soapstone but knew I Could. Not. Deal. with it. I went on an epic hunt for another matte black countertop (this was early 2016) and ended up with Dekton. Dekton is made by the same company (consentino) that makes silestone, but it’s formatted for outdoor kitchens. My kitchen is inside, but they didn’t make silestone in matte black at the time, so Dekton it was.

      It’s impossible to make choices online (the pictures are terrible and everything looks the same), so we went to our ‘local’ consentino showroom to look at things in person – it was very helpful. They shared a bunch of installer recommendations, but Home Depot was the cheapest by far (they let us buy what we needed, instead of the full slab).

      3.5 years in there is no sign of wear, and I am not easy on my counters. The only thing I’ve done to them is wipe them down with a soapy dish sponge. I think matte black (and soapstone similar) options have expanded in the meantime, but I would 100% say do not do soapstone and get a manufactured alternative.

    6. We went with unpolished granite in our bathroom vanity and shower bench and we love it. Have you thought about that? It has a leather look. I just happened to spot it in the granite store and they told me that was just unpolished granite. I got it in black and really like how it looks.

      1. I love soapstone. In hindsight I wish I had used more of it (we also used a butcher block countertop). Our general contractor tried to talk us out of it, and we are glad we did not listen. We love how we don’t have to baby it or maintain it (we never oil it).

  11. I’m in the market for a new watch. I don’t ordinarily wear one because I spend so much time typing, but I really need to wear one for work. Looking for something comfortable, relatively classic, and simple. Budget of up to $1000. Recommendations?

    1. With that budget, I’d get a Shinola. They are so beautiful. For a little less, look at Skagen and Citizens.

      1. I’m in Michigan so +1000 to Shinola. Tip: if you have the Delta Amex, mine had $100 off $350 spent at Shinola I could add as a deal to my card.

    2. I like the look of my Skagen, but it’s not that comfortable. I might need to punch a new hole to get the sizing better. I know others have had a lot of luck with them though.

    3. It’s a little lower-end than you’re looking at, but I love my Citizen eco-drive. I love that I never have to change the battery.

    5. I will add, for comfort and to not notice it as much I am 100% team leather band and not metal. I have a couple Shinola watches (also in MI) and I don’t even notice them anymore. I have had to replace the lighter leather band after a lot of daily wear, but that was super easy as well.

  12. I am your summer camping newbie back for winter tips! The summer camping tips were helpful, but there was so much less to pack!

    I live where it often can be rainy and/or cold overnight, but can get into the 50s during the day, especially if it is sunny. November’s task: hiking for a few miles, plus camping (so: not car camping; backpack camping) one overnight. I know that this means I need a lightweight tent.

    Do you bring dedicated pajamas for sleeping? Or just another set of clothes / UW / socks to sleep in? Sleep in what you are wearing and change in the morning? FWIW, I don’t get really sweaty.

    Also, older scout just got her first period and I don’t know when the second will be (I am on BPCs so can figure out my timing). If you have used feminine hygiene products, I am guessing you wrap up with your other trash and hike it out? Any recommendations as to controlling odors from that (may be less of a big deal as the temp drops)? I feel like I can ask a lot of Qs at an REI but perhaps this is better for the Hive.

    Thanks all!

    2. Wool is your friend in the cold. It can get damp and still be warm. I would get a good base layer of long underwear to wear at night because you will want to wear something that you didn’t sweat up during the day because that sweat will make it colder. You will need a good winter mat to go under your sleeping bag. That will help you stay warm. I use a diva cup and find its great when hiking with pit toilets. I assume you aren’t hiking out with used toilet paper? That that is allowed to be dropped in the pit? then you can just use that to clean out the diva cup.

    3. Welcome back! :)

      For sleeping, I wear an “outfit” that I’d feel comfortable getting up and performing some tasks in, if necessary. So depending on how warm your sleeping bag is, that might mean skinny joggers and a long sleeve silky undershirt or something similar. I’m large of bust and wear a low-impact sports bra (like a shelf bra) to sleep in – again in case of getting up and needing to do things before changing clothes (’cause I can’t do anything without at least some support).

    4. Definitely bring different warm socks to sleep in. Even if you can’t tell that you’ve sweated in your socks during the day/while sitting around the campfire, you have and switching to a dry pair will make a big difference in warmth overnight. I usually sleep in wool socks + merino or heat tech leggings + sports bra + under armour cold gear shirt (only if it’s really cold) when it’s below freezing overnight.

      For periods, bring a sealable plastic bag. You can wrap duct tape around it for privacy if you want. You can also duct tape it to a second sealable bag to store your clean products and tp/wipes.

      Another recommendation if you have the space is to get a down or synthetic down camping blanket. They are nice and warm, can make your sleeping bag extra cozy, are lighter than normal blankets, and can be used as a pillow bunched up.

    5. So you are backpacking – fun! I would bring some wool or synthetic long underwear to sleep in – you never know if you will get wet from rain, etc. – and it is good to have backup layers. You can always wear your wet/dirty day 1 clothes on day 2 since you will be hiking and less likely to get really cold while moving around, and I would actually encourage that to save on weight, but you need something warm and dry for sleep. (And dry socks!) Make sure you have a good sleeping pad – really important to staying warm; sleeping bag warmth ratings assume you are using a pad. Make sure you have a way to keep your sleeping bag dry and clothes dry if it rains while you are hiking in – line the stuff sack with at least 1 layer of trash bag, and put your clothes in a trash bag within your backpack. Make sure you have a warm hat and extra dry socks.

    6. Everyone’s emphasis on staying warm and dry is right on (it would be helpful to know exactly what nighttime temperatures you are expecting)! When you arrive at camp, I’d recommend immediately getting out of your sweaty hiking clothes and into whatever you will sleep in. I start with silk/polypro long underwear, a wool base layer, a fleece and hat and gloves. Getting warm before it is actually cold out is important. Drink warm beverages!

  13. If you recently remodeled a bathroom, could you give me a realistic breakdown of costs and any advice you might have? My new condo has a functional but not great bathroom with black tile that I really hate, but I’m not sure I’m up to having it redone.

    1. We just went through a bathroom remodel. Our biggest issue was the contractor demoed the bathroom down to the studs so it was completely unusable about two months before any actual work took place. We did not realize there would be such a long delay. The actual remodel also took longer than expected because the contractor did not have enough subs. They could not find anyone to install the tile, which is a critical component of a bathroom remodel. I like the finished product but the process was terrible.

      1. Do you feel like this is your contractors fault? I feel like they failed to communicate with you properly. We are currently hiring a contractor for a huge project and I am so worried about this type of thing. Any advice you have looking back at it?

        1. Yes, this was my contractors fault. They seemed great in the interview and had outstanding references, so I feel like we had no way of knowing. Next time we have a project like this (which will be for our master bathroom) I will ask specific questions about their subs and will not allow any demo more than one week before the actual work happens. I will also pin them down on the timeline.

          1. We hired a contractor who did not sub out. All his people were “in house”. It made things move much quicker.

    2. Friend recently had her’s done – new toilet, sink, and maybe tub?. had to take it down to the studs to fix water damage, put in heated floors (she tapped into her existing radiator lines). $25,000 ish?

      She also had to essentially move out for that month because it was the only bathroom in her house.

      If you are just looking at cosmetic changes, and maybe replacing the toilet, but not moving anything, it’s probably less of a hassle.

    3. It will 100% depend on your location, finishes you select and the scope of work. We did a full gut reno including structural reinforcements and reframing a window of a 5×7 bath and got estimates from 12K to 30K (NoVA). Ultimate cost was around $16K – I negotiated a little with the contractor we liked best, and then aggressively price-shopped once we knew what we wanted. Our local kitchen and bath supplier would match online prices, so I spent a half-day on the internet for every little thing (including shelves, hooks, faucets, etc) and printed them out and took proof to our sales rep, saving nearly $2000.

      If it’s your only bathroom, my #1 tip would be to have everything ordered and ready to go so you don’t have to wait on any deliveries that will contribute to delays.

    4. We’re doing this now in our hall bathroom/primary guest bathroom. We are not moving any plumbing (which adds to the cost), keeping the tile on the walls (goes about halfway up the walls), and not painting. We are replacing the toilet, sink, and refinishing the inside of our claw foot tub and replacing the tile on the floor. We’re using relatively inexpensive black and white hex tiles for the floor (bathroom is roughly 8×10,) But it still costs around $800 for the tile. The new toilet and sink cost around $1100 to order and get delivered to our house. My husband picked some sort of super fancy faucet that was $500 (but you can spend a huge range on faucets). Tub refinishing is going to be around $400. With labor and additional materials (tile grout, etc.), it’s going to total around $4000 -$4200. All of the plumbing is staying exactly where it is, which keeps costs way down. Tile adds up very quickly.

    5. We are in the process of finalizing our master bath remodel. My husband did all the demo/repair/paint/install except for the tile and glass shower doors. We spent about $10,000 on tile for tile and labor (we did a custom shower with marble and also tiled the walls up to chair rail height); $1000 for vanity and granite; new tub, fixtures, etc was about $3000 and about $3000 for cabinets that my husband installed. Glass shower doors and glass barn door was about $2500.

    6. We had to redo master bath because of water leakage. Our choice was “tear out shower and replace it while trying to minimize damage to the rest for $X, or completely gut and redo for twice that” – we opted to do a full remodel of our very late 1990s/2000 era bath to a more modern one.
      Unexpected to me was that we had to completely move out of the master bedroom because that became the staging area for the supplies/tools/etc. We used a contrator who was great but largely worked alone with occasional specialist subs – he forecast 6 weeks but it took about 8.

    7. If it’s functional, I’d live with it for at least a year so you can really see how you use the space and what you’d want out of your remodel. A year into moving into our home and my vision of what I want to update and how I want to update have changed a good deal.

  14. Weird problem– lately I feel like I cannot get my glasses clean. I use those little lens cloths multiple times a day, and they still seem dirty and there is gunk built up along the sides. I have had this pair for a few years, and generally wear them most days. This is the longest I’ve ever kept a pair of glasses (my prescription is currently stable). Is there a better way to clean these that I don’t know about or do I just need to bite the bullet and get some new frames?

    1. I feel like the moistened lens wipes do a MUCH better job. I buy the cheap-o CVS brand ones every few days and it really helps.

      1. Yes. I have a giant box of zeiss lens wipes (good for glasses, cell phones, camera lenses, etc) at I think costco? Much better than just a dry microfiber cloth.

        1. I use Zeiss too and I feel a little bad about the waste it produces, but I haven’t found anything more eco-friendly that works as well.

    2. Wash them in the sink with dish soap and dry with a paper towel! I wash my work reading/computer glasses daily that way, and it doesn’t damage them at all. If they are really grimy you might take a soft toothbrush to the various joints and crevices.

      1. Nooooooooooo paper towels on glasses! It might work with yours but they scratch the hell out of most kinds of lenses.

      2. +1. It works best with plain dish soap that doesn’t have any ‘good for the skin’ type ingredients, which can leave oily residue. Tissues are a bit less scratchy than paper towels.

      3. +1. i had a coworker who did this every morning and it makes such a difference.

      4. +1 to dish soap, but if you use really hot water, they’ll air dry quickly and you won’t need paper towels. You might just need a soft cloth to wipe away any water spots. I do this every morning and don’t even have an issue with water spots, so… And btw, blue Dawn works awesomely. That stuff works on EVERYTHING.

        1. Hot water ruins some lens coatings though. I’d be careful and use warm/tepid water instead.

    3. I use a little (mild) hand soap or dish soap to soap up the lenses and frames, rinse them in warm to hot water, and then dry the lenses with a very soft piece of cotton.

    4. The place where I get my glasses always tells me the sprays can kind of build up over time. They recommend dish soap and a soft cloth when that happens.

    5. I use mild soap and water. My lenses get a film on them and that’s the only way I’ve found to get them clear.

    6. +1 to the other comments – you need to be using something wet (water, alcohol, windex) plus the microfiber cloth.

    7. The wipes and the spray help some, but every so often I wash my glasses with dish soap to remove the grease that the alcohol-based wipes and spray won’t dissolve.

    8. I use one of the glasses cleaning sprays with a tissue, then go over the lenses with a microfiber cloth. Is your cloth dirty? Try putting it through the wash.

    9. Good old hand soap and water. At some point the microfiber is just pushing the film around.

    11. Using a very soft new toothbrush and Dawn dish liquid, scrub the edges of the lenses (against the frames) and around the nose pads. Skin oils and dry skin flakes build up there, and cleaning the flat surfaces of the lenses just keeps pushing that mess to the sides. You need to really dig it out to keep from re-smearing it back across the lenses.

      Note that if you have scratch coating or glare coating, Dawn is safe for most brands per my optometrist, but double check your brand to be certain.

      1. I use the green dawn (smells like apples) for this (and my Cpap mask). Was told to avoid any that have citrus because they can eat at the coating.

        1. I use the scent-free and dye-free version of Dawn; should have said that. Thanks for reminding me!

    12. I find soap, like hand soap, that has moisturizers in them to leave a film.. i like a tiny bit of dish soap or the dish soap foam and soft cloth.

    13. wash with mild hand soap/detergent, dry gently with microfiber cloth then air dry

    14. I just take them back to the place where I bought them and have them cleaned and readjusted.

    15. Clean them occasionally with water and dish soap, you can dry them with a paper towel when they’re wet. Paper towels are only problematic on dry lenses.

    16. I bought myself a little ultrasonic cleaner and drop my specs in them every so often. Optometrist clean whenever I want it! And it’s good for jewelry, too.

  15. I have this shirt in 5 different colors and they’ve all held up really well for three years – the navy has faded but only a bit. I wear them constantly and they are workhorses in my wardrobe.

  16. Does anyone feel like their community has a standard “winter uniform”? Mine does, to the point that I almost feel weird? out of touch? if I don’t follow along. For casual wear, it’s a long-ish black puffer with a C&C beanie in black, cream or gray. For work, it’s still a black coat with black accessories. And that’s fine! It look polished, it’s versatile, it goes with everything. But, I confess that I really don’t love black for myself because it washes out my complexion and it’s soooo boring. Yet I stick out like a sore thumb when I wear an actual color, whether at work or on the weekends. Not sure what the solution is, other than getting over myself.

    1. Yah I just do not be a sheeple for this. I don’t care if everyone is wearing Canada goose I think it’s hideous and don’t.

    2. At my biglaw firm in NYC it was cashmere sweaters + BR/J Crew/Ann Taylor pants + a necklace + heels (in the office) ALL winter long, topped off by a black/gray wool coat that was thigh length. Literally every female associate wore that for 4-5 mos a year. I liked it. Simple and made it super easy to fit in for those of us who aren’t into fashion — just buy sweaters in every color and BR pants and you’re good to go.

      1. ….this is my outfit today but with booties instead of heels. It makes getting ready in the morning so much easier.

    3. I visited New York city a couple of years back around Christmas and I found most people were wearing black..

      1. I visited NYC for work in January wearing a red coat and I thought that my coat immediately marked me as an out-of-towner. (I didn’t really mind, though).

    4. You might be surprised…in my experience, seeing the person in color in a sea of black is often a bright spot and a welcome/happy break from the monotony in my day. Why not be that person? :)

    5. If there’s a winter uniform there is a reason. I feel like I only see this in cities where people walk or take public transport frequently. I suppose after one winter of discolored shoes and jackets you go with black for the longevity of it. Just because a material is quality and durable doesn’t mean it won’t looked wrecked without a proper cleaning after a few months of winter.

    6. Yep, the solution is to get over yourself! Who cares what others are doing? Fashion can be a community thing, but it’s also so individual. Don’t wear black if you don’t want to.

    7. Yes, you have to not care. Also, probably nobody is looking that closely at your coat except maybe to think, Huh, maybe my next coat WON’T be black.

      I have an olive long down coat from Eddie Bauer that I love and a fake-down lightweight shorter purple coat from Costco that I also love. I don’t feel out of place in either, and I live in DC, which is not noted for its creativity in fashion.

      I also don’t wear a beanie because my head looks like some kind of giant mutant seed pod in those. I can’t think of how to explain the hat I wear, except it’s made of a polar fleece type of fabric and has a fold up brim to it. And it’s pale olive.

    8. I don’t wear black either – my heavy-duty winter coat is navy blue, my weekend jacket with faux fur/sherpa lined hood is olive green. My color wheel is basically shades of gray, beige/off-white/cream/tan/camel, navy blue, some olive green, and denim. I used to buy colors and black, they would sit in my closet, and I would feel guilty about not wearing them…. then I just embraced the fact that I don’t like black or colors on me! It’s made shopping and getting dressed so much easier.

    9. There’s a winter uniform for sure here in the Bay Area. But it’s a casual uniform. Leggings, sleek hiking type boots or sneakers, athleta type knit long sleeved top, Uniqlo puffer vest. Sunglasses. Beanie if it’s very cold. Accessorized by a hydro flask.

  17. What percentage of Corporette readers do you think are readers? Non-lawyers, what do you do?

    1. Do you mean readers or lawyers? Ha ha, I’m a big reader and not a lawyer. But to answer what I think you’re asking, I’m university faculty/administration. Kind of nice to have a foot in both and it keeps me on my toes.

    2. I’m a political scientist but started reading when I was working for a corporate adjacent non-profit.

    3. Going to assume you mean “lawyers,” but I’m in policy research and am also a big reader.

    4. I started reading as a law student, I worked in Big Law for a while but am no longer a lawyer.

    5. All the lawyers I know used to read for fun then stopped after law school. At best now most that I’ve spoken to about it get in one or two books a month, usually paired with a book club that forces them.

    6. State government (policy analyst-type role). Never have been and (probably) never will be a lawyer. I can’t remember when I started reading, but I think I heard about this blog on Ask A Manager, which I used to read religiously but no longer really do at all.

    7. I started reading right out of college while looking for fashion advice when I got my first big girl job. I work in investment research.

    8. Currently an environmental consultant, heavy on the actual science side and no policy/research. I started reading Corporette ~9 years ago when I was a science intern at the USDA NRCS.

    12. I’m an engineer for a massive company. I started reading when I was bored at an internship about 3 years ago.

    13. Scientist. Started reading this because I was in an all-mail lab and needed some relief from the atmosphere. Stayed because of the community.

    15. I’m in tech at a bank. Started reading as a student when I was applying to corporate organisations.

    17. Biglaw turned inhouse; have read since when Kat was anonymous and I was a baby biglaw associate.

    18. I’m a content strategy and writing consultant. Love this community and am endlessly fascinated by the window into Biglaw life!

    20. I work in government. Formerly a fed contractor, now in city govt.

      My job is probably 75% desk work, 25% field work which is a fun mix. It also means my closet is a fun mix of LOFT, BR, etc. but also cargo pants, work boots, and awful tactical gear.

    21. Also began reading as a student applying to jobs (didn’t start commenting until much later). Accountant.

    22. J.D. but not practicing, working with a legal publisher. Have always loved to read for fun, except several months when I was working as a legal editor and couldn’t turn off my editor brain while reading.

    23. I work in association management. I began reading in college primarily for myself, but also to get a glimpse into the future that my partner and I would have as he was considering law school. He went to a [regional non t-25] law school and his career and work/life balance worked out a lot better than this board’s general commentary led me to believe it would.

    24. State government, environmental management. Started reading while working in private consulting and then through getting a master’s and back into the workforce. This community is seriously amazing.

    28. Not a layer. Executive management in finance. I breeze over the omgbiglaw crap (you know we do work long hours in other professions, right?) and sometimes get annoyed that the posters in law think everyone here works in law. I work with tons of attorneys but they are definitely not the top of the food chain around here.

    29. Non-lawyer here – I’m a fed contractor. Started reading here because I saw it recommended on r/femalefashionadvice, stuck around for the community of professional women (which is so hard to find online!).

    32. Non-lawyer, senior person at a software company here. Been following since Kat used to write in the Royal “We”, so maybe ~10 years.

  18. Acne help — I was lucky to have minor acne as a teen and then none really — and now at 39 (?!) it’s hit again. I’ve heard it’s actually not uncommon. So what I’m noticing is that it’s on my face — both cheeks look red but it’s like areas of acne and oddly it can go from looking reasonably ok (though noticeable) to really red. All I’ve figured is that it looks red/inflamed after I’ve consumed sugar — not just anything with any sugar (which would be any carb), but something REALLY sugary say like a bottled iced tea or soda. Any way to cure this once and for all? As a kid it was that Clearsil stuff though I feel like I was using that for spot treatment, not all over my face. What to use now?

    1. I’ve had a good experience with Curology and my adult acne – the formula is customized to you, and its not expensive. They even re-formulate it for you if needed. If you don’t like it, you haven’t wasted much money.

    3. You may have looked into this already, but are you sure it’s not rosacea? The flushing/sugar connection stands out to me.

      2. +1. I have rosacea and this is what it is like; I could have written the same description before I was diagnosed 5 years ago. It seems like acne, but it’s not, and so acne medications won’t work and may actually make it worse. A dermatologist will know about a broader array of treatment options, but mine was diagnosed by my general practitioner and he wrote me a scrip for the medication I use (metrogel).

    5. Go see a good esthetician who can make product recommendations (or tell you what ingredients will help best). A lot of advances have been made in skincare and understanding what works best for what problems over the past 10-15 years. Dermatologists are good for diagnosing what is going on with your skin, and writing prescriptions for serious reactions but estheticians are good when you need services like facials, nonprescription up-to-date product recommendations, and less-intense treatment. Your skin will take longer to bounce back from a mismatched product choice than it did as a teen and all stress on the skin can speed up aging (which I’m assuming you want to avoid).

    6. I started breaking out later in life. On a work trip recently I told a coworker about it over lunch, I had a huge sit on my chin, and she told me about Differin. We went straight to CVS after lunch and I bought a tube. I put it on my chin every single night before bed and I haven’t had a break-out since. It’s worth a try…I’m sure the tube was under $10. Good luck.

  19. Any warm, cozy loungewear recommendations for fall/winter? I sort of want to ensconce myself in flannel and fleece until April.

    1. Just posting to say seeing the word “ensconce” made my morning :) It’s a great word that doesn’t get used often enough :)

    2. The Uniqlo fleece-lined jogger sweatpants are my favorites. Highly recommend! I live in them as soon as the temperature drops.

  20. The Sephora sale starts today! What’s on everyone’s list? What are the best gift sets this year?

    1. I just got an Herbivore gift set and I love it (the jewel set). I love Hebivore and all of their various oils, but especially the blue lapis oil.

  21. Is anyone else feeling financially exhausted?

    I’ve been feeling burnt out lately and it’s really been impacting me and it’s getting worse as the weather chills, as I am not a cold weather fan. I am in the process of building a service business for myself (no inventory or overhead, just lots of time and work going in) and I knew it’d be tough for a while but really believe in what I am doing. I crunched the numbers and I just realized that, this year, my income will be under 20k for the 2019 year. I guess that explains why I feel so exhausted, it seems like I am doing a ton of work but not yet seeing pay-off. However, I truly believe this is what I am on this planet to do.

    Everything online talks about burn out help by going to a spa or buying something that makes you happy or wearing clothes that feel amazing or taking a vacation. What about those who can’t even afford fries with their burger? I already take breaks for tv distraction, I meditate daily, and I have a pet. If it weren’t for the finances, I would be very happy with my professional life. But I can’t negate that financially, I am exhausted from having to weigh every grocery store purchase, every bit of timing to get an oil change, and otherwise being completely unable to afford anything to be outsourced or even to have any kind of treat.

    Am I in this alone? Any commiseration or guidance?

    1. Of course you’re exhausted, poverty is hard. You’re basically making minimum wage and probably qualify for government assistance in some areas. I don’t know why you’re stuck on doing this or what the prospects are but clearly it isn’t going very well.

      Baths, church, long walks, and libraries are free and can help.

      1. I agree with this. Starting a new business can be hard, especially if you don’t have a second income or savings to support, and most new businesses don’t make much money to start. But there are resources that you qualify for and you should seek them out. You paid into/pay into taxes so that you can take advantage of those resources as needed. You probably qualify for food subsidies, housing subsidy, and medicaid (if you’re in the U.S.), and there are tons of nonprofits that help with people in your situation (often set at 400% the poverty line).
        It is very difficult to concentrate on anything else, especially working for yourself, if your basic needs aren’t met.

    2. I’m sorry you’re going through this and I actually recommend taking a break from this site for a while. It can be jarring to read how much money people have (or how much they waste for no reason, like two Prime memberships for one household…) and it’s all the more so if you personally are in a transition with your job/finance. Can you explore more free options for exercise and relaxation, like long walks in nature (including parks)? Taking a break from certain content and finding relaxation options that are free could be really helpful.

    3. Honestly, I think the biggest self-care thing anyone can do is carving out some time for themselves, and it doesn’t have to cost money. It can be as simple as sleeping two extra hours on the weekend, checking out new books/movies at the local library, talking on the phone with a friend or relative, or maybe even a digital detox for a day?

      And… commiseration. This blog obviously draws a high-income crowd, so it’s painful to hear people saying that a $100k salary is low (obviously field dependent) when you make a fraction of that and have to scrape every penny.

    4. I find that fresh air and long walks help immensely with my mood. When I had very little money, I walked almost everywhere to save my pennies, listening to audiobooks borrowed from the library. With the money I saved from not driving or taking transit, I went to the local pool a few times a month ($3/visit). Something about immersing my whole body underwater, blocking out all sounds, was a great therapy for me.

      Commiseration from here too… the grind is tough, even if you are passionate about what you are doing. Do you have any friends that you could take turns cooking with, so that you would get a night off from cooking/cleaning every now and then? Or, as counterintuitive as it seems, volunteer projects?

    5. Free: Yoga (free videos online), running or walking outside, the library. Baths with Epsom salts and an inexpensive scented candle. Free museums. Going to bed early. Calling a friend. Staying off social media.

      Low cost: tea with honey is a nice treat for me. Baking scones and bread. Browsing in thrift stores. Inviting a couple of friends over for cocktails, if you already have a well stocked bar. People will offer to bring something, take them up on it. Hopefully they will reciprocate next month.

      Solidarity. My income is fine but I’m trying hard to minimize spending to save aggressively for a goal. It’s hard when everyone around you is spending a ton.

      1. Also, perhaps counterintuitively, decluttering helps me. It’s nice to be reminded that I already have more “stuff” than I need when I’m tempted to buy stuff. And some of it can be sold or consigned.

        I also like to do challenges for myself, like how long can I go without buying cleaning supplies etc. And focusing on avoiding waste. Makes it feel like it’s about something other than money.

    6. You’re doing great! You’re a hard worker and you’re doing future you a favor by not racking up loads of debt right now.

      Who is your support network? Talk to them. Invite them over for dinner and make a humble, yummy soup or stew. Ask them to bring bread or wine. Trade off in a couple weeks – they host and you bring bread. Love on your pet. Take a break from meditating if it isn’t helping. And sometimes (you know you best) it helps me to go look at the candles or the clothes or whatever I’m not going to buy, especially if there’s not something specific I’ve been drooling over and I just wanted to go buy myself a treat or whatever – just looking is the treat. YMMV.

    7. I hope you get some breathing room soon. It sucks to be doing everything “right” and life is still so, so tough. Commiseration and good thoughts are coming your way from this internet stranger.

  22. Over the past 6 weeks, I have had 3 dates with someone (including 2 gardening and sleepovers in which he was very affectionate even when he thought I was sleeping, such as kissing my shoulder before rolling over in the middle of the night, etc.), with daily texting in between. thought things were turning into something. It’s the first time I’ve had that in years. However, he hasn’t initiated texting in a week and a text I sent a few days ago went unanswered. But he’s still checking my instagram stories in the rare cases I post them.

    I’m not even sure how I felt about him yet but I had been hopeful and I’d enjoyed the closeness and the hopefulness.

    Why is dating so hard?!

    1. I have really struggled with this in dating because my interpretation of that kind of affectionate behavior = guy is really into me, and it’s not always the case. So then how do you know!? Ugh. No advice, just commiseration.

    2. I’m sorry this is happening. I’d give it another week or two. IME a week or two of low contact could mean a super busy work period, family emergency or some other super stressful life thing that doesn’t really call for being heavily in contact with someone you’ve been on three dates with. After that, it’s pretty much a ghosting, which sucks but is very common nowadays when someone has lost interest and is not a reflection on you at all. I’d say to just keep on keepin’ on and continue dating other people. You’ll find someone with a similar interest level one day. And the affectionate thing I’d not read too much into – some people are simply very affectionate with romantic partners regardless of their interest level.

    3. I know it’s so terrible. This happens to me all the time. My interpretation is that he likes me, enough to text me and sleep with me, but not enough to actually have a relationship with me.

      2. Same experience here. When I called out a long-term partner turned ghost (x2) on the IG stories thing, he claimed he wasn’t doing it on purpose he was just letting the stories scroll through. I immediately blocked him because he had ghosted me.

    4. I just ended things with someone after 3 months. He seemed super into me, we talked on the phone almost daily and texted multiple times daily, and he was super, super affectionate. After all that, he said he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be in an exclusive relationship with me but wanted to continue as we have been. So yeah, it sucks.

    5. So I have a male friend like this – says and does all the right things, no interest in commitment/marriage.

      With most people, those words and actions are prequels to further steps in the relationship (exclusivity, moving in together, marriage), but not with him. It’s both impossible to see and, once you know exactly what to look for, obvious.

    6. OK, please don’t jump down my throat, because this dude s*cks and you didn’t do anything wrong, but … it might be easier on your heart & emotions if you wait to garden until there’s some level of commitment or exclusivity.

      1. I thought the same thing – anon at 1:55. She’s been on 3 days and already gardened twice? Could it be he got what he wanted and he’s done with her?

          2. She’s not shaming the OP – she’s pointing out that scummy men exist and that it’s hard on one’s heart to be intimate with them.

          3. Anon at 3:44, I was in the dating world only 3 years ago and I think you need to knock it off too. I frequently gardened on the first or second date. Some of those guys ghosted me, some of them I ghosted or directly ended things with. One of those first date gardening partners is now my husband.

            That said, some people are way more comfortable with gardening when there’s intimacy. Some people aren’t. It’s a valid point that maybe OP should interrogate her feelings and figure out if she’s someone that isn’t comfortable with or made happy by casual gardening. But that’s by no means a general prescription for everyone. If she is generally comfortable with casual gardening, then knock it off and let her live her life without your judgment.

      2. Agreed, but I would expand this to intimacy generally instead of just gardening. I think if you’re interested in a relationship, taking some time to get to know someone before you open yourself up emotionally and physically makes sense. Plenty like to use others for the sensations of intimacy (cuddling, gardening, other types of affection) before ghosting altogether.

        1. You explain the issue well and I agree. Sure you can garden on the first date, but if you do, you may get hurt b/c the man is more likely to view you as a ready orifice (or orifi) rather than a person with emotions that he can share outside of $ex. Yes, life is different then it was 20 years ago in some ways, but men have ALWAYS wanted $ex b/f I did, and on each of those occasions where I had submited to peer pressure and done what he wanted when he wanted, those men all stopped seeing me after a couple of weeks, and all I had to show for it was soiled sheets and hurt feelings. On more then a few occasions, I also got a UTI that had to be remedied at the campus clinic, where judgemental nurses looked at me with that “knowing look”, making me feel like I should have waited longer — not that waiting would have avoided the UTIs.

          So w/o being judgemental, it is more an issue of “assumption of risk”. The sooner we take off our panties for a man, the more likeley the man will be satisfied at such time, but the less likeley that he will stick around for the long-term, with some exceptions if they are convinced that we are so much better then anything he has ever had before (or will ever have again). In most cases, men who get us (like my ex) automaticaly think they can do better, even if in reality they won’t. In some of those cases, they come back eventually trying to worm their way back into our lives (and beds), but we should stand up and say “NO, you had your chance, and you hurt me, and I am NOT making the same mistake with you again, so go away.”

      3. I didn’t think this was judgy. Each of us has a choice with regard to physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, and commitment. If physical intimacy is going to tap you into a higher level of emotional intimacy, meaning someone not being around will be hard, then you might consider waiting on physical intimacy until you have commitment. Sometimes it works out just fine without a stated commitment. Many times not. Not everyone gets emotionally as invested. That’s cool for them! No judgment.

        It does mean that you disappoint a lot of men! But that’s fine. If he can’t wait until we’re exclusive, then he’s looking for something I can’t provide and remain emotionally healthy. That’s an incompatibility, not a judgment.

  23. We have regular board game nights with the same group of couples, only one of which has a child. They used to ask to bring him and when he was a baby we all liked to see him and he was sleeping most of the evening or sitting with someone. Now he’s a few years old and they still ask if he can come but it’s quite disruptive to an evening when the point is sitting down and playing a game. Especially as it’s past his bedtime. They have plenty of local family who babysit on a regular basis. I’m not sure how to say no, it feels like I’m pointing out it’s not appropriate now when they obviously think it is? We do plenty of other get togethers which are child friendly like bbq’s. They also don’t offer to host very often. I feel bad not inviting them but that’s what others in the group seem to do.

    1. Don’t invite them and let them figure it out or say directly “we’d love to have you guys but are planning to make Tuesday an adult only evening so we can sit and focus on whatever game as it isn’t one where we can take breaks, we hope to catch up with little Braden at another event.”

    2. Say no. They’re asking you!!! “Actually I’d rather he not come this time, it’s hard to focus on the game play with an adorably rambunctious little one frolicking around.”

    3. They’re asking you so just say no. “Actually we’d like to have an adults-only night so we can drink and swear without worrying about disturbing Johnny. I hope you guys can still make it and if not, we’ll definitely have all of you over again soon for a more kid-friendly event!”

      1. This. And maybe offer to move the start time a little later if that helps them attend. Sometimes it’s easier if you can do part of the bedtime routine. Like my parents are happy to babysit but the reality is they struggle with completing bedtime routines by themselves. DH and I try to get the kids bathed, in pyjamas, and ready to read a story with grandparents before we slip out. Having an event start at 8:30pm means we can go, 7:30pm is a lot harder especially if it’s a regular thing.

        1. This. The start time is key. Since there’s only one family with one kid, it should be relatively straightforward to work with them and find a time that works for everyone.

          We’re boardgamers with two kids under 5, and our solution is usually one of the following:
          – We host and put kids to bed before gameplay begins
          – One of us attends, the other wrangles kids at home
          – We get a sitter (no local family) and both attend ($$).

          I can’t imagine it’d be very fun for them to try and concentrate on the game with a toddler running around and constantly needing something! Admittedly there is a bit of a ‘valley of death’ when kids are in the toddler years, but once they are old enough to start playing kid boardgames (usually age 4 or 5) things get a lot more pleasant.

    4. I can’t imagine that it’s great for the kid to be staying up late so his parents can see their friends. We have an almost 2yo. We bring our travel crib with us to friends’ houses when we will stay past his bedtime. We do our normal bedtime routine with him and put him down with a monitor in a guest room. He’ll sleep for a few hours and we get grown-up time without needing a sitter. Yes, it’s a hassle to bring all his stuff over and pack it up after. But it’s worth it to maintain some semblance of our previous life. And we only do it maybe once/month or so. Maybe gently suggest this as an option?

    5. Assuming there is some sort of email or text or something that goes around with basic info for each get together, I would write what you normally would, and simply add in an asterisk at the bottom saying something simple like: “*We would prefer to keep the night adults only please.”

      I would personally leave the excess reasons as to why or promises of later plans out unless they push back…sometimes simpler is better. They can probably guess why an adult night might be preferred, just at this point in time they think everyone is okay with it b/c no one has said no yet. Of course, this all means you might see them more infrequently as it will be more difficult for them to come (even with family babysitters, for a variety of reasons), but it sounds like you are all okay with that, and for them that is one of the costs of parenthood…(I have little kids myself fwiw).

    6. I agree with just saying no. Don’t stop inviting them, though.
      FWIW, even when it seems like someone has plenty of local family who can babysit, that may not be the case. I have tons of local family, including 4 local grandparents, but they have their own lives (jobs, businesses to run, other grandchildren, medical appointments/minor health issues). They do babysit for us, but I probably wouldn’t ask them for a regular board game night with friends, at least not very often. That’s not even taking into account that some grandparents or family members aren’t healthy enough or insist on conditions that make everything super complicated or have problematic behaviors that mean they can’t be alone with the kids.

  24. Can I get some scripting help? I’m not actively looking to change jobs, but I’m open to it if the right opportunity came along. What do you say when a recruiter reaches out and you want to keep communications open but the current offer doesn’t look like a good fit? I feel like this should be easy but I’m having a hard time coming up with the words.

    1. “Thanks for thinking of me. This current offer doesn’t look like a good fit, but keep me in mind if something great comes up in the future. I’m not actively looking right now but you never know, right?”

    2. “Thank you for reaching out. I am in a good place with my current job, but am open to moving for the right role. I would be looking for roles that (briefly explain).”

  25. Apple-shaped ladies know my struggle: wrap dresses are one of the best styles for hiding tummy while still giving waist some shape, but often end up showing mega cleavage!

    Ladies who love wrap dresses and deal with bustiness, is there a certain sort of camisole you’re supposed to wear underneath to hide cleavage? I’m afraid a normal cotton one with the seam on top might look cheap, but maybe I’m overthinking it.

    1. You’re overthinking it. I use camisoles all the time under wrap dresses and have never thought much of it. I own maybe 20 camisoles in various colors for layering purposes, as even though I’m not busty or petite, I have a short shoulder area and lots of things cut low on me. I like camis from Uniqlo. They’re not just cotton. Stitch Fix also sells some “basics” with their stuff. They’re a little more sturdy.

    2. I like a full slip underneath this type of dress. I wear slips that are like a long camisole – no lace, not silky, just a long stretchy microfiber type thing. This way if the wrap opens up my thighs are over covered too. I will see if I can find a link.

  26. I sent an email this morning saying “here’s another report to see if that helps you, let me know.”

    Reply just now: “It doesn’t.” Literally.

    ARGH.

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