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Wednesday’s TPS Report: Anabell Dress

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Reiss Anabell DressI've liked this dress since I first saw it at full price — the texture, the sleeves, the cool hem, combined with the great fit and flare shape — but now that it's 50% off it's even better. It's available in burgundy and black, sizes 0-10, for $143. Gorgeous. Reiss Anabell Dress Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 3/26/25:

  • Nordstrom – 15% off beauty (ends 3/30) + Nordy Club members earn 3X the points!
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale + additional 20% off + 30% off your purchase
  • Banana Republic Factory – Friends & Family Event: 50% off purchase + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 30% off tops, tees, dresses, accessories, sale styles + warm-weather styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Shorts under $30 + extra 60% off clearance + up to 60% off everything
  • M.M.LaFleur – 25% off travel favorites + use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – $64.50 spring cardigans + BOGO 50% off everything else

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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155 Comments

  1. Love the dress, but I’m worried I’d need to wear spanx under it, given the material- and I HATE spanx.

    Relationship question- my bf has brought this issue up a few times and wants me to work on it, and I really want to but need some help. When we have fights, I sometimes get very cold and withdrawn, and he feels like he always has to be the one to “end” the fight by hugging me, telling me he loves me, etc. I realize this is totally unfair but sometimes I fell paralyzed, if that makes sense, when we’re fighting/I’m upset… It’s actually physically hard for me to, for instance, roll over in bed and hug him, or tell him I love him. I know this sounds crazy, and I guess it’s my stubbornness/pride taken to an extreme. Does anyone have any tips for handling this kind of situation, other than just sucking it up and being a more loving person (I realize that about myself, too, just looking for some concrete tips if anyone has any). TIA!

    1. It sounds like he may be rushing you to get over it. If you’re still upset, I’m not sure you should be forcing yourself to cuddle and make nice. Are you able to do that at some point? Are we talking days of cold and withdrawn, hours, or as soon as the fight is over he wants snuggles? I don’t think holding a grudge is useful, but I also don’t see anything wrong with telling him that even after a fight is over, you’ve still just had a lot of emotion and you need a bit of downtime before you feel like hugging. I’m also curious about his notion that you’re not a loving person because you don’t show that love the same as him. For me, part of being in a loving relationship means even when you’re not perfect, the other person still trusts that you love them.

      1. You bring up a lot of interesting points. It’s hard to explain but to give an example, last night we had a fight (not a big fight by any means) where I was annoyed with him over how he was reacting to me trying to help him pick a gift off a wedding registry/make a hotel reservation for the same wedding. My personality is very much to take charge and I’m a huge planner so I love figuring out logistical things- he is also a planner and likes taking charge, but is a little more indifferent than I am towards stuff like planning trips. I felt like he wasn’t as “into” the planning aspect as I was, wasn’t taking my input into account, and was making me feel like I was intruding (it’s his friend getting married) or just being too excited/high strung about the whole thing. I know this sounds like a ridiculous argument but I think it reflects a theme in our relationship where I feel insecure about inserting myself too much into his life, even though he often reassures me that I’m not.

        Anyway, I became annoyed about that, he was a little defensive but ultimately apologetic, but even though it really wasn’t something to get really upset over, I just kind of withdrew, rolled over to face away from him, and turned the light off. The thing is, I guess I do expect him to “end” fights, even when he’s the one who gets upset. I do sometimes try to smooth things over, particularly when I know I’m in the wrong, but he’s the one who is just better at comforting me than I am comforting him, and I know that’s not fair.

        A corollary to this issue is that when we fight, I get this paralyzing fear that he somehow sees me differently than he used to, that I’m no longer “on a pedestal,” that he’s seeing me for who I truly am, etc. I know being in a long-term relationship is about loving a person with all their flaws, but for some reason fights just really scare me, even though he tells me all couples fight and it’s not a big deal, doesn’t change how he feels about me, etc.

        1. Well, from that example, I see no reason for him to apologize. You were bossy and intrusive and then got pouty when he didn’t respond well to that. It seems like you picked a fight with him so that he would have to respond with apologies and hugs and reassurance that he loves you. That’s not an issue with how you fight, it’s an issue with your insecurity. For me, the only thing that has worked on insecurity is giving myself time to grow up, but there are lots of books on overcoming it and many people find that therapy can help.

          1. I think you’re right… it’s hard working on overcoming insecurity while you’re in a relationship, but this is absolutely not a relationship I’m willing to give up on just because I’m still working on something about myself that I don’t like. Kind of a tough spot.

          3. given your take on the situation, I guess I have a different question: when you have a fight with your SO, realize you’re in the wrong (or at least share 50% of the blame), after you have apologized and your SO has said it’s okay or whatever, do any of you struggle like I do to put the fight behind you? I just focus on it so much and it turns into this situation where any fight makes me feel like my relationship is doomed because I’m unlovable.

          4. Working through something personally while your significant other is there to watch or help can be so great in a relationship. You said you’re concerned about him looking at you differently, but try to remember that “different” doesn’t mean “worse.” It means different, which can be a great thing.

            My fiancé and I have gone through this experience a couple of times. I had a total breakdown over a job search issue, which is something I normally never let anyone see. I was scared that he would think differently/worse of me, but it turned out to be a great thing because he learned about how I process things and how best to handle my emotions in the situations and I learned that I can let him see those things and let him help me or even tell him if I don’t want his help. Likewise, I’ve watched him go through some difficult personal things and he never lost ground in my eyes. It brings us closer as we learn more about each other and became comfortable exposing ourselves to each other.

        2. Anon, I’m the exact same way when it comes to ending fights (or not ending fights, actually). I think it comes from being stubborn or prideful, and I think it’s wonderful that you recognize it.

          Sometimes the best thing for me to do is just to kick myself in the butt and force myself to roll over and give my husband a hug or kiss. It doesn’t feel natural, because I agree with you 100% that it is sort of a feeling of paralysis, but if you can just force yourself to make one little movement–even if it’s just a little leg touch, or arm touch–then the rest easily falls into place.

          1. I’m glad someone else feels the same way! It’s so hard to explain but it’s almost like I have to BEG my body to turn around and comfort him/engage with him. I just get this leaden feeling where I want the fight to end but my body isn’t willing to do anything to make that happen.

          2. Yep, I know EXACTLY what you mean. Ugh, so frustrating. And then when it passes, you feel like a complete idiot.

    2. Me too. I LOVE this dress, Kat, and mabye after I drop 7 pound’s, I can wear it, but mabye at the end of the summer, once I’ve lost my tuchus!

      As for the OP, everyone has certain issue’s after we fight with our boyfreind’s, often it’s because of the chemistry involved that either you or your boyfreind will need to make the first move to make up. With your situeation, I think it is b/c he is more ansxiouxs to make it work that he is the initieator, if you had another boyfreind where you were the more needy, you would make up first with him. It varie’s. If you wind up MARRYING him, you will keep to the same pattern’s, but if you marry another guy, you may find YOURSELF makeing up first! It all depend’s!

      With Alan, for some reason, I was the one alway’s tryeing to make it work. He was very often sullen (usueally drunk now that I can focus), and it was me who said I was sorry first. But as soon as I said I was sorry, he would initiate SEX with me, even tho most of the time his alcoholiseam and lack of curulation down there stopped him from being abel to complete the act. So he just slobbered on me about 1/2 of the time, and lookeing back, I realy can NOT even understand why I was so anxius to have him be happy b/c he alway’s perfered the bottel to me. I know that if he had a bottel of wine or me, he would chooze the wine, and then think “oh, I can always have sex with Ellen later”. FOOEY on that! Do NOT let men do that to you. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    3. Would it help if you could just withdraw from the situation after a fight — like walking around the block, or going into the bathroom for some quality brow grooming time? I often find that this allows me to make a mental “break” with the fight and then step back in with DH “refreshed” and basically back to the status quo.

      1. Just before you withdraw, how about saying, “I love you very much. I need a few minutes alone to work through my feelings and thoughts. I am going to take a walk around the block and get some fresh air.”

    4. Are you saying that after the issues of the fight are resolved you have a hard time letting go of your anger, or that you and your boyfriend resolve fights just by hugging and pretending there’s no problem? If the former, I agree with Nancy P’s suggestion to take a walk or a few minutes to talk yourself into a more reasonable frame of mind. If the latter, then of course I suggest resolving the issue, not just forcing yourself to cuddle.

    5. Learning how to fight in a way that ends well is important in a relationship. I’m not someone who is quick to recommend therapy, but this might be something you could address with a therapist, who could give you some strategies for ways to help you get past it or to express how you want to deal with it to your BF. It sounds like you’re thinking in a fairly insightful way about your own feelings – now you just have to figure out how to deal with them in the context of your relationship.

      FWIW, I can be pretty mean in a fight (although I’m generally not a mean person) so it’s something my SO and I have talked about and I’ve worked hard to curtail. I have also had to get better at expressing what I need from him when we disagree about things. Sometimes it’s something that upsets us both so much that we have to step back and not hurt each other because we’re both so upset.

    6. There may be a middle way between getting cold and withdrawn, and ending the fight by hugging your boyfriend or telling him you love him. Perhaps you could start with smaller steps., i.e., working on making eye contact if you don’t do that already, or instead of telling him you love him, work on just communicating. It may help to repeat back to him what he’s feeling (“I understand that you are feeling frustrated/stressed/upset/whatever because XYZ”).

      Take with a grain of salt, because I’m basing this entirely on my own situation (in which I am kind of on the other side). When my fiance and I fight, he gets withdrawn and it is really difficult for him to make eye contact with me, or even speak to me. He describes it as just not knowing what to say, and just wanting the argument to stop. I just want to keep talking until we work things out (although I don’t tend to be the one to “end” the fight, I just talk on and on about the same things ad infinitum).

      We are both working on understanding these things about each other. He’s never going to be a talker in an argument like I am, and it sounds like you are never going to be a huge hugger. That’s OK, and significant others should understand that. That being said, we’re working on making sure we are at least working to address others’ needs. So my fiance is working on trying to make eye contact while we’re talking, at least part of the time, and when he can’t think of anything to say, he’s working on just repeating back to me what I’ve said so I at least know he’s listening to me. I’m working on giving him space. If I can tell he’s getting really withdrawn, sometimes we call a 5 minute time out (different rooms). He promises after 5 minutes to actually talk to me the best he is able, and I promise I won’t keep talking to him during those 5 minutes. It’s working, I think, slowly…

      1. “He describes it as just not knowing what to say, and just wanting the argument to stop. I just want to keep talking until we work things out (although I don’t tend to be the one to “end” the fight, I just talk on and on about the same things ad infinitum).”

        OMG this is exactly our situation… I’m your bf, and my bf is you. Except sometimes I also keep talking about the argument over and over, hoping that it will somehow lead to resolution.

        1. Yeah. Actually, when reading some of the comments above, it struck me that part of my wanting to talk it over and over is my insecurity. I somehow can’t just trust that things will go back to normal and he’ll still love me, whatever, without making sure that we’ve talked everything through and come to a resolution and he is absolutely 100% still not upset about anything whatsoever. Which of course is sometimes not a realistic place to get to.

    7. When I was dating my husband, I tried to find ways/reasons to apologize first, even if I was still mad and even if I was right. I still do that now, and I find that if you’re willing to give a little, the other person will be too. Try it once, and the reaction you get might help to break down some of that stubbornness or pride.

    8. The most helpful relationship advice I ever recieved came from a pastor friend of ours. There are really three common ways most of us deal with anger/hurt/frustration and we tend to have a natural inclination toward one of them. There are leakers, stuffers and spewers: you can leak your anger and emotions out slowly, you can stuff it inside or you spew it all over everyone and everything around you. However, just because our natural tendency is toward a certain reaction that doesn’t make it “right” or give us an excuse for bad behavior. All of these behaviors have pros and cons. It really is about becoming better people and helping those around us to become better as well. As we identify our rough spots and work on smoothing those edges we may be rubbing against the rough spots on those closest to us and all becoming better in the process.

    9. I have a book recommendation for you: “The Relationship Cure” by Dr. John Gottman. He is a marital therapist but this book is about relationships in general, and the thesis of the book is that people who are successful in relationships tend to “turn towards” rather than “turn away,” especially in times of stress or conflict. I found it really interesting and enlightening.

  2. I really like this, although the color is best for fall. The sleeves are my favorite! I hate my upper arms, and this kind of sleeve is the most flattering (for me).

    1. Excited to see Reiss is offering more dresses in a US 12 now. However, do these run really small? I wear a 12 in BR and J Crew, so am hoping a Reiss 12 will fit too.

      1. It’s been hit or miss for me in Reiss US 12, mainly because of my ladies, and thus it depends on the design, and of course, manufacturing variances.

      2. I am late to this, but FWIW I wear a 2 in J. Crew dresses and need a size 8 in Reiss for my hips. May not be a big deal in this dress, but in sheaths, I recommend following the size chart measurements (whereas with J. Crew there always seems to be an extra few inches of material–at least when it first arrives; after two or three dry cleanings, I wish I’d gone with what the size chart said).

    2. Looks like a good color for late summer early fall as it reads “too hot” for me now, even in the PNW.

  3. I think I like this. It may be a bit ice-skater, but I’m still on Tean Nancy, so I’d give it a whirl.

    Depending on the drape of the fabric, I might want a slip under to smooth over things and maybe extend time b/w dry cleanings since it doesn’t seem to be lined. Has anyone figured out how to wear a slip with a dress that isn’t sheath-cut? I have felt that a fluttery skirt made it more likely that a straight skirt would show. Or since this one is only really body-touching up top, maybe just a cami?

    1. I haven’t had a peekaboo issue with wearing a full slip under a non-sheath dress. If you get a slip that is shorter than the hemline, I don’t see how it would easily show unless you were doing ballerina twirls. I’ve done the cami thing too, but you have to carefully pick the camisole to avoid a line across the waist/hips.

    2. I just headed over to the reiss site and the dress is made of entirely washable fabrics so you can hand wash it or put it in the gentle warm cycle and then air dry it. As for smothing I have seen a few companies that make “extended bras” which might be good for this dress. The cut definitely doesn’t warrant a full slip (to me)

      1. Good to know — I become more reluctant to give washing a try the more expensive things are (and I put Reiss in the expensive bucket). It’s more, why take the chance that I’ll ruin something (I have) that it will be expensive to replace. I have found that knit-type fabrics are either perfect or horrible when I’ve washed them and it’s made me chicken.

    3. I don’t like this dress at all. It makes the model look wide and it would emphasize any pooch. A cami probably would not work with this dress because it would just add bulk at the waist. A short slip like the ones from the Gap would help though.

    4. I actually own this dress in the burgundy color. The fabric is a good weight, not too cling so I don’t feel it requires spanx, I am more of a jiggly -bottom than tummy-pooch body though.

      I do find it a wee bit short for the office, so I always wear tights or hose with it.

    5. I wear the jockey slip shorts. They smooth like a slip/spanx but there is no compression. Very comfortable.

  4. I just bought a doppelganger of this dress in apple green! That is so weird. Mine came from a local boutique and it is such a good dress, I’ve worn it to work and out for drinks one evening.

  5. I’m going on a big trip to Africa in a couple months – I bought a nylon cross-body bag to use once i’m actually there and plan on checking in a suitcase but I’m now wondering what bag I should use as my carry-on. I want something big enough to carry my ipad/books/normal purse items and at least a change of clothes.

    Any ideas?

    Thanks ladies!

    1. I’d probably go with a tote of some sort, or a packable duffle bag, something that you can stuff into your suitcase. You don’t give any details about your trip, but I’m assuming that you’re going to be moving around some, so I’d guess you’ll want to put the tote into your suitcase to minimize luggage during the trip. I also like to take a bag like that on a big trip, because I inevitably need a little more space in my luggage on the way home.
      Have a wonderful trip!

    2. A small backpack that you can also use for day trips? If you are doing a safari, you may want to have something a bit bigger than your crossbody bag for longer trips.

    3. I would suggest you not take a large suitcase. If you are flying between places, many of the flights are little puddle jumpers, and there are strict weight limits for you and your luggage. Plus, there just isn’t the room. If you give us more details about the trip, we might be able to provide more advice.

    4. Having spent quite a bit of time in Africa, I would suggest that, unless you are really intending to do long treks with all of your stuff, you use what you would to go to any place in the US. I long ago swore off backpacks, because I hate carrying my world on my back, and I found that rolly suitcases worked just fine. I have always done the purse + little suitcase for carry-ons, with the caveat that if your suitcase gets too heavy you will likely have to gate-check it (i.e. between Europe and Africa if you are flying Kenya Airways). (I may or may not have overfilled my carry-on suitcase with cheese in Amsterdam and then taken advantage of the free gate check.) Most places you travel in Africa are likely to be by bus or taxi, so unless you intend to go hardcore local transportation (minibuses) with a lot of dragging your stuff around, or go to a lot of remote areas without frequent public transit, a large suitcase and a small one should be fine. (Be sure to pack a change of clothes in your carry-on just in case.) I also found that the longer I spent in Africa, the more I dressed nicely. Just like in the US, the only acceptable situation in which to wear hiking pants or hiking boots is while hiking. In general, I find that people in most parts of Africa take more care with their clothing than Westerners do, and wearing a pencil skirt + heels for work is super common. I dress the same in Africa for a given situation as I would in the US (dressy pants and blouse for work, dress for church, nice jeans for a casual restaurant, fancier for going out to a club). In more rural areas, you may want at least one long skirt. I have more than once regretted not having a suit jacket or a formal dress.

  6. So, I’m tired of having to replace my flat sandals every year. I walk a lot, and it seems like no matter how much I spend I can’t get any pair to last more than one season in decent condition. I’m thinking of giving up and getting closed toe flats going forward. Does anyone do this for summer? Do you recommend it?

    1. I wear closed toe flats a lot in the summer and they still don’t survive more than one season in good condition. Sorry!

    2. I don’t do sandals and I’m all about the closed toe flats, but I agree with TheElms that they still don’t last very long. Maybe there are more expensive pairs that would last longer (and/or with a little firm heel, most likely, as the biggest problem with flats is that the heels wear out), though I always end up buying the cheap ones personally.

      1. These little flats have a nice heel that doesn’t wear out with wear, and they’re cute and comfy on: http://www.shoes.com/en-US/Product/83498-5217454/Naturalizer/Black+Leather/Womens+Lathom.aspx?campaign=Naturalizer&CMP=KNC-adwordspla&cpc=adwordspla&k_clickid=5a32447b-38f8-7448-4b9f-00000c697440&KPID=5217454-83498-8.0M&partnerid=adwordspla
        I’ve also found that some of the Sketchers biker flats do very well for a business casual office and they have peep-toe styles, similar to this but with a peep-toe:
        http://www.skechers.com/style/48905/relaxed-fit-bikers-melodic/blk#Color=LTBR

          1. I bought four pairs of Skechers flats for work in various styles because they are so comfy and some of our work offices are blocks apart so I need pointy-toed pumps to look good in the office and flats to get around… the relaxed fit styles are comfy for my wide feet.

    3. I switch between a couple pairs of closed-toe flats and sandals (and low wedges) (and espadrilles for casual wear) for summer. Having 3-4 shoes in heavy rotation seems to extend their lifespans. But even with that, I don’t think I have any pairs of sandals older than three years. Maybe I’m not buying the right brands, but they just don’t last.

    4. Agree that it’s hard to get shoes to last more than 1 summer. I think it’s because feet sweat so much more in the summer. I’m actually avoiding any closed toe flats this summer because they end up smelling (whereas they are fine the rest of the year). I just bite the bullet and buy new flat sandals every summer. I can usually get my wedge sandals to last 2 summers.

    6. I just had this conversation with somebody the other day. It seems that no matter how much I spend for sandals they just don’t seem to last more than one or two summers at best. I don’t have an answer as to why but I am going to try and rotate a pair of athletic type sandals with a leather strap style for when I’m not at work and see if the addition of the athletic sandals extends their wear. Either way, I’m not buying top of the line for either. I’m thinking 6pm.com or amazon might have something from past years that might still be available.

    7. I have had luck with Dansko sandals lasting multiple summers (I think the pair I replaced last summer were 4 years old).

      2. Which sandals? I’d like a pair of Dansko’s but they all seem very clunky and make my already big feet look even bigger!

  7. TJ – my sister-in-law is throwing me an elaborate baby shower and I would like to get her a hostess gift to show my appreciation, but I’m out of ideas. Restaurant gift certificate? She is in Orange County, CA and will be vacationing in Hawaii soon. My price range is $100-200. Any favorite gift ideas?

    1. If she’s a spa person, that would be a nice gift. You could either get a gift certificate for a spa in CA or the one at her hotel in Hawaii.

    2. You could send flowers or an Edible Arrangements after the shower, if either of those are her thing. If her vacation is very soon, you could hold off and send something when she’s back, so she’s coming home to some treats rather than having to eat everything quickly or toss flowers on her way out.

    3. We are going to Maui for the first time this summer, and I have been reading the Trip Advisor forums. Yesterday I read a post about people arranging to have gift baskets (fruit, snacks, wine, flowers, etc) delivered to the room of a friend who would be vacationing in Maui without them as a surprise. Maybe something like that would work?

    4. The Burke Williams spa is popular out here (I haven’t been but I have friends that love it). There are also lots of nice hotels with spas (Pelican Hill, Island Hotel, St. Regis, Hyatt in Huntington Beach, etc.), so you probably can’t go wrong with a gift certificate to one of those, either.

  8. I bought a dress like this from Macy’s INC line a few months ago and I love it. It’s a great dress up/dress down item.

  9. Ahhhhh…. feeling very anxious this morning. I told my boss yesterday afternoon that I’m expecting. My coworker just came in and said she’s telling him today that she’s leaving to the new job. I’m so afraid he’s going to come back to me and flip his lid. I will be glad when this day is over.

    1. It’s awesome that you told him first. I think your boss will be more likely to flip out at her!

      1. Let’s hope so. All I had to put up with was a (mild) sex reference, which I was somewhat prepared for and didn’t get an outburst like I’d feared. So that’s a win…?

        1. Definitely a win. No matter what, you got to him first and I think that is a Very Good Thing.

    2. Try to have as much of a plan in your head as you can. I assume departing coworker will be replaced and that you have at least 6 months left in your pregnancy. So, maybe the plan is you take a month to find the right candidate and then you have at least a month to train this new employee before he/she covers for you on your leave.

      1. Meaning if he comes to you flipping out, remind him of the above logistics and that it will really all be okay. Be careful not to over commit to anything you don’t think you can do like working remotely on a certain project or being available for calls and emails with the new person unless you are really going to want to do that. If this is your first kid, you probably don’t know yet.

  10. I will be flying to Portland, OR in July for a work trip, and will extend the trip by about 5 days. I’d love a recommendation of where to stay on the coast (preferably without too long of a drive). I’ve found a lot of the bigger resorts, but I’d love to find something small, luxurious, with beautiful scenery. I am looking for some easy outdoor adventures, but really with an overall focus on relaxation.

    I’ve never been, and am very excited! I’ve heard it’s beautiful.

    1. Loved loved the Sylvia Beach hotel. Such a quirky, fun place. It sits right on the water and has a super cozy library that wraps around the beach. IIRC it’s about 2 1/2 hours from Portland.

      1. +1. I’ve also stayed at the place next door to it back in the 90’s. I forget the name but it had a parrot and friendly cats and was about 1/2 the price of SB.

    2. I don’t have any specific hotel recommendations for Oregon, but I’d recommend staying somewhere like Cannon Beach, OR. If you can get a hotel in the “downtown” area, you can walk to all sorts of restaurants and cute little shops, or rent a beach cruiser and bike on the beach. I think it’s about 2 hours from Cannon Beach to Portland. I hear Manzanita is pretty nice, and I think there are a lot of rental cabins there. We like to stay at the Adrift Hotel in Long Beach, WA, which is about 2.5 hours from Portland. They have a sister hotel, the Inn at Discovery Coast, and that one looks a little nicer.

      As for fun things to do, Ecola State park has awesome tide pools, and a nice 5 mile hike. Sleepy Monk coffee roasters make amazing coffee. They are in Cannon Beach. If you’re looking for a cool vista over the whole area, I’d recommend driving up to Astoria and climbing the Astoria Column. Not recommended for people with vertigo, and wear tennis shoes. I climbed it in my sandals, and was pretty sure I was going to lose them on the way up. If you do it, make sure to buy one of the Balsa gliders that they sell in the gift shop, or pick one up off the ground, and throw it from the top. While you’re in Astoria, you can go to the Goonies house. Cape Disappointment State Park in Washington is just over the Columbia River, and has some old weapons depots and lighthouses which are fun to explore.

      The Oregon Coast is awesome and beautiful, and I hope you have a great time! If you like beer, I can give you more specific recommendations on that too.

    3. Check out The Awtrey House. I just stumbled across this place the other day online. I haven’t stayed there, but it looks really great. It’s in a good location just outside Manzanita, which is the cutest Oregon coast town in my opinion. It’s a small bed and breakfast (but in a beautiful, modern house with amazing views), so if that’s not your thing, it may be a no-go.

    4. Awesome recommendations, thank you! I’ve emailed the Awtrey House, Sylvia Inn at Discovery Coast – fingers crossed they will have availability!

  11. Just found out I did not get my dream job after 3 rounds of interviews. Really bummed. I also have finally grown to hate my current big law gig (about time). Didn’t realize how much hope I had riding on this job and I’m just crushed. And, like an idiot, I told (non work) friends about it who keep asking so I get to feel badly over and over as they follow up on it. Oh, also they wanted someone with LESS experience. I’ve been blocked out of jobs for years for not having enough, and now, when it really counted, I have too much. And now I cried off my makeup in the office.

    2. I’m right there with you. It sucks, but it does get better. The thing I keep working on is what is positive in my life right now. I’ve made a list. When I start to get sad, I just pull it up on my phone. Makes me feel better.

      Also, if it helps, think of the fact you just got good interview practice. When you’re ready you can start looking again. But yeah, it’s a sh*tty place to be. If you’re in DC, let’s grab an “I’m miserable” drink!

    3. So sorry to hear this. It happened to me a few years ago and I was totally crushed. It’s an awful feeling.

      I ended up taking the next job I was offered which turned out to be terrible, but after 10 months there I found my current gig which involved a pay cut but is a great fit for me. Good luck and hang in there.

  12. Hugs, that is really hard. Probably won’t help right now but I do love AAMs thoughts on “the perfect job:”
    http://www.askamanager.org/2013/01/stop-thinking-youre-applying-for-your-dream-job.html

    “…I’d even go so far as to say that there’s no such thing as a dream job that you can truly recognize from the outside. Because as much as you think you might love doing that work for that company, it might turn out that the boss is a nightmare, or your coworkers are horrible, or the company makes you sign out for bathroom breaks and bring in a doctor’s note every time you have a cold, or you’re abused daily by clients, or your workload is so unreasonably high that you end up having panic attacks every morning.

    Dream jobs do exist — when it’s work you love, at a company that treats employees well, working for a great manager, alongside coworkers who are competent and kind, or at least unobjectionable — but it’s dangerous to think something is your dream job before you’re really in a position to know. It can lead you to turn a blind eye to warning signs or to make decisions you wouldn’t make if you had all the facts.

    So here’s a plea to everyone to realize that the next time you spot something that sounds like your dream job, remember that you really can’t know yet if that’s really what it is. And this is especially good to remember when you don’t get offered the supposed dream job and you’re feeling devastated by it — the reality is that it might not have been your dream job at all.”

    1. It’s 36.5 so that’s probably fine YMMV. I looked up online the posted length for my favorite dresses so now I know how long I need for comfort – for me it’s 38″ but I’m 5’9″.

      1. That’s smart! I need to measure the length of my favorite dress. I like my work dresses hitting the middle/bottom of my knee, so this one might be on the short side.

        1. Always measure from the same place, i.e. top of shoulder. Don’t measure from the center back of the neck because some necklines are subtly lower in back.

        2. I just took a dress I like the length of (for me it was the Lands End Ponte Sheath) and googled what the length is. I didn’t actually get out a yardstick and measure it myself.

    1. I was in Talbots yesterday and they had some true short sleeve ponte knit dresses, also available on the website. Solid colors, I believe, so not sure that is what you are looking for, but the sleeves were real sleeves.

    3. +2. A cute short sleeved dress is the Holy Grail of work attire. Cap sleeves are the enemy.

  15. I think there’s several of us on the thread today who could use a fun, distracting topic – am I right? So let’s play What Are You Wearing Today!

    Me: teal ankle pants (unbuttoned, but nobody knows!) with a flowy cream and black printed top with balck cami underneath. My favorite black closed-heel sandals and teal-ish nail polish on the (three) toes that show in these shoes. =)

    1. hot pink yoga capris, striped racer-back tank, and a black zip up hoodie…. working from home!

    2. Black leggings, black combat boots, floaty babydoll dress in black with white stars, and a dark grey cashmere jumper over it.

      Really enjoying my casual office while I’m still here. :)

    4. Light tan blazer with sleeves pushed up, navy/tan/cream snakeprint faux-wrap dress, cream wedges. I’ve gotten a few compliments on the dress already so I never want to take it off now!

    5. White tee with lace details, navy pants, statement necklace, nude-for-me wedges. Not knocking it out of the park today.

    6. Brown/tan mini houndstooth sheath dress (that I made so it fits me perfectly & I feel great in) a brown belt, brown pumps, and orange cardi with bare legs. Maybe a little fall-ish, but I have a meeting with my direct manager and the person my functional manager reports to who is visiting from our head office today so I wanted to look good.

      Here’s hoping I’m preparing the right stuff for the meeting. It was a “I’d like to get to meet you, get to know your business and discuss your KPOs” invite. Wish me luck!

      1. How the heck can you get home-made clothes to fit perfectly? I’m incredibly impressed.

        When I was growing up, my mother and I made a lot of things for ourselves, but they never fit like custom or tailored clothes. Maybe we just didn’t have the touch?

    7. I never knew I needed teal ankle pants until now.

      (My outfit isn’t that exciting today as had client meetings to wearing jade shift dress and pinstripe grey suit jacket with grey heels.)

    8. Love this game!

      Tan cotton pencil skirt, navy linen short-sleeved button-front shirt, tan-and-navy striped blazer, nude high-heeled sandals (three toes per foot showing with pewter pedicure!), faux straw bag, big “gold” watch with sapphire blue face. I am matchy matchy today.

      Although upon reflection, the linen top wasn’t the best idea since I started the day by getting my teeth scraped at the periodontist, and I got a bit more rumpled than usual…

    9. Dark red sheath dress, navy blazer, cream heels. Unintentionally very patriotic!

    11. Late to the game but I’m in!

      Black doc martens, black leggings. knee-length short sleeved black and gray dress from New look and a gray “boyfriend” jacket from the same place. I overslept so no accessories for me besides the ever-present wristband.

    12. Late to the game, but today I wore Boden wool Tulip dress in purple, black cropped card also from Boden, black pumps, and a hematite necklace.

      1. Home now, but at work I was wearing an indigo blue Merona fit-and-flare dress with a celadon cropped short-sleeve rhinestone cardi by True Colors I scored on Zulilly! Lots of compliments on the cardi particularly. Nude platform pumps.

  16. I am in need of advice on what to wear on an upcoming business trip. I am going to North Carolina in June for a 4-day trip for networking and exploring the city. I have a feeling that business attire is appropriate, as we will have a lot of business dinners, etc., but also city tours during the day. The problem is that I’ve never really worn business casual. I am a lawyer, and wear a suit every day. I feel like blazers and flats (for touring the city) are appropriate, but can anyone help me with specific pieces? What should I wear on the plane ride? All suggestions are appreciated!

    1. Also, I’d like to add that I will be among the youngest on this trip, and really want to project a professional image. Thank you!

      1. Keep in mind that it will be HOT. I went to Charlotte in June a few years ago and I was dying the whole time – it was about 86 and humid. Blech. It may be different for you if you’re from a warm climate – I am from northern New England and over 80 feels way too hot to me! :)

    2. Which city? And is the city tour part of a business group (like looking for relocation sites) or on your own?

      As long as you’re in front of the group you’re with, I’d wear work attire (whatever that is for you, but not a suit unless there is a suit-wear event before you’d have a chance to change). Depending on temperature (Asheville will be cooler, other places ranging from hot to very hot and humid), this may be a perfect trip for The Dress (bring a jacket / cardi b/c the A/C here can be fierce) somewhere in the mix. For the plane, if you will have a chance to change when you get off, maybe jeans + nice shirt (and then perhaps you can switch bottoms and shoes)?

      I am assuming that whichever city you’re in, much of your touring will not be on foot but will be in a vehicle of some sort that will be cool inside.

      1. It is near Charlotte, and I’d prefer not to wear anything sleeveless (although it will be hot). It is primarily for networking. Should I plan for short-sleeve blouses? Skirts? Thanks in advance!

        1. If you are legal/banking/accounting, I’d go with what approximates workwear for you for the true networking events (maybe relaxed a tad), but networking is networking, travel or not.

          If you’re not inclined to dress up that much (or that much all the time), I’d err on side of comfort (so outfits perhaps built around shoes comfortable for standing). It’s hard to say without knowing who you’re networking with and your age / stage / prospective audience. If you were a doctor or engineer or professor, that would matter for dressing.

          Also: Speed Street may be uptown during your visit. Uptown CLT will be craziness (and hard to get around b/w uptown and the speedway, which is in the next county over). And it may be hard to find a hotel room anywhere in the vicinity.

          1. And if you are there during Speed Street, please know that it represents the *worst* of Charlotte — anyone who can possibly work from home/remotely stays away from uptown that week!

  17. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who gave me interview advice. I’ve passed the telephone interview and an assessment day for a Big 4 job in Audit, and I have a final interview with a Partner coming up. I’m really excited. :)

  18. Hey guys, I am so busy at work and so stressed out I am pretty much ready to cancel my wedding (in 4 weeks). I have many, many items that need to be done for the wedding and I can’t find time to get them done. I don’t want to slap some things together at the last minute for such an important event, but I am so frazzled at work, basically ready to quit my job, and by the time I get home I can barely keep the house clean, eat a decent meal and try to get exercise every once in a while. Any suggestions? I’m in a small city and the wedding is in another city several hours away so a wedding planner isn’t really an option (or I would have had one hired already). Husband tries to be helpful but I have to instruct him on exactly what to do and it takes almost as long as doing it myself. I don’t have any girlfriends. FWIW it’s a small wedding of only close family and friends (40ish people) so I can’t really reduce the size to reduce the stress. The things remaining undone are essential items like dress fittings, music, flowers, linens, etc. I feel like there is no way I can pull this together in a month.

    1. First of all, you can do it!

      Second, why can’t you hire a wedding planner in the city your wedding is taking place in? It seems like you really want someone else to just handle it, so I would think you could just give her a budget for each item and a general idea of what you want, and let her run with it! Even put her in touch with the venue/furniture rental and let her figure out how many linens in what sizes you need.

      Obviously the dress fitting needs to be you, but I think everything else can easily be pushed off to a professional.

      1. Thanks for the vote of confidence! I overstated when I said the wedding was in a city, it’s actually in a town of about 2000 people, so there’s no hope for a wedding planner there (super unfortunately).

        1. I got married in a small town and I bet that someone in the marital-industrial complex can be pressed into extra duties (or has a friend / relative/neighbor), perhaps on an hourly basis. You’d be surprised. My caterer’s step-daughter was our bartender and her aunt did our flowers and “fluffing” of the venue. I spoke about my preferences very briefly and everything was lovely. I just make sure they knew I’d pay them and everything was very reasonable. Also: altar guilds and people from the church / venue are good people to reach out to for leads on getting help.

          1. I was thinking, maybe there’s an organized SAHM, retiree or part-timer in the small town who will take this on.

          2. We got married in a very small town too and our pastor (well, really the guy we hired to do the wedding. not actually our pastor since we don’t go to church often) anyway, his wife did all the organizing for us (for a fee of course).

        2. You’re welcome!

          I’m an event planner (though not for weddings). A wedding coordinator from a different city could absolutely take care of your tasks from a distance! I think you shouldn’t give up on the wedding planner idea (if you can afford it), I can see it making your life so much easier.

          No harm in just putting a call into a few in the nearest city and seeing if they can plan from afar!

        3. In towns this small, chances are there is only one or 2 vendors that do the things you are looking for. Do you have a caterer already? Call them and ask who usually does the linens and flowers at other weddings. Or whoever you rented your reception site from – if they’ve done other weddings in the past, they know who does this stuff. This is how we did my wedding in a small town, and it worked really well, since the cake maker already knew the florist and could just call them directly get flowers that matched for on top of the cake, the photographer recommended the DJ as someone they worked well with and coordinated timing themselves, etc.
          Also, any aunts or cousins in the family whos taste you like, that you could say “this is the flower budget, make it pretty” and just delegate things you care less about like that?

    2. Do you have a venue? Can you ask the venue which vendors they recommend as good to work with? If they can hook you up with vendors for music, linens and flowers you may be able to handle these relatively quickly.

      Sorry that I have no other brilliant suggestions.

      1. I think the venue suggestion is perfect. They’ll almost certainly have people they’ve worked with before. Or just ask your photographer, or your florist – these vendors work with each other all the time. This is a problem that money can solve. Just throw some money at it and let the professionals do their thing!

    3. I would tackle one thing at a time. Make an appointment for your dress fitting. Then:
      – find a florist or a Costco or grocery store near your wedding that could handle the flowers.
      – music – is there going to be any live music? If not, find a family member to act as DJ with his/her music collection and a couple of speakers.
      – linens – get your mom or other family member to handle this.
      Do one thing per day (and I would even do it at lunchtime and close your office door and do it from work) and you’ll be done with everything in a week. :)

      OR hire a wedding planner for the florist, music, linens, etc.

    4. Flowers music and linens are not essential. Hire a wedding planner in wedding city stat and pass this off to her. Also- housekeeper. Also- your husband is presumably a grown man. You don’t have to tell him exactly how to do things, you have to let go of the idea of one right way.

      With live: get a grip! In one month you’ll be married, flowers or no.

    5. Easier said than done, but try to take a step back. Flowers are not essential, neither are linens; they’re details that will not impact your ability to get married. If you have a place, an officiant, and clothing, you’re set. If your guests are eating and drinking, they’re not going to remember the center pieces. Good luck!

      1. Thanks guys so much for weighing in. I guess I just really don’t know if I want to go ahead with a wedding if I don’t feel good about the way it looks/feels. I know obviously these things won’t impact the fact that we get married at the end, but my consideration is not will I get married or not, just will we have the wedding or not. I would like to get rid of the stress and just elope maybe. I’m not the kind of person who likes to throw things together last minute and I wonder if I just offload all of this and put it in someone elses hands will I be disappointed?

        1. I don’t think you’ll even care once it’s in the past. [Or even once it’s happening — the momentum of the event + seeing people will have everything going by in a blur.]

          I can be very, very picky about things, but I just let it all go for my wedding and was so happy. Happy before. Happy during. Happy after.

          Before you really think of walking down the road of letting the wedding stop the marriage (that I’d assume people have been invited to and perhaps made travel / time off plans for), consider if, just this once, the perfect can take a break from being the enemy of the good.

          [Also: what would your husband-to-be think of getting waived off because of design choices? Have you even talked this over with him?]

        2. There are some great posts about being disappointed in your wedding at A Practical Wedding, if that’s stressing it out.

          You do you, YMMV, and I’ve never planned a wedding or been engaged–but as a fellow person who does not like to throw things together at the last moment, who will probably strongly consider eloping, AND who is a design fiend–I imagine (hope?) that the deciding factor for me would not be, “Does my wedding look the way I want it to?” but “Is it more important for me to have my family and friends there to witness my wedding?”

        3. I’ve been married twice, enjoyed my wedding both times, but I’m here to tell you that Anon at 1:38 is right — it seems very, very important before it happens, and then it recedes into insignificance once it’s over.

          If I ever do it again I’m eloping or going to the courthouse. Failing that, I would consider a courthouse ceremony followed by dinner at my favorite restaurant. Is that an option for you? Is there a place in your wedding city where you can just have a nice catered meal and let everything else go?

          2. I know what you mean, SA! I know that if i married my current SO, we’d just have everyone who cares stay after a church service, then have a lunch or brunch at home.

    6. This is what moms, sister, and MILs are for. Reach and tell them you are completely swamped. Say you are so stressed out that you are considering eloping. This will put fire under their butts. Tell each person exactly what you need and they will do it for you (i.e. I need 10 navy blue table cloths for 60 inch round tables). My sister’s MIL did all of the flowers for her wedding and they turned out beautiful, so give your mom or MIL a budget and a color scheme and tell them to run with it. Florists are professionals so they can put something pretty together.

    7. You can do this – just change your expectations of perfection and don’t sweat the details.

      Flowers – call/email florist in wedding town – tell them your budget, what you need (3 bouquets, 10 centrepieces) and give them a colour – e.g. white and pink flowers – don’t worry about exactly what kind etc.- you’re not competing with Martha Stewart.

      Dress fitting – see if someone can come to your apartment in the evenings – ask the shop where you bought your dress for recommendations

      Linens – give venue/rental company a budget/quantity and colour – put DH in charge of confirming any further details.

      Music – ask venue who they recommend to DJ (if applicable)- you can pick first dance song etc at the last minute – don’t worry about the rest of the music – you can ask them to play different stuff on the night of if you don’t like their selections.

      Doing these things will be way less work that trying to cancel and rebook everything.

    8. Flowers – call a local (to your venue) florist, give them a budget, your color scheme and any favorite or hated flowers. Let them do the rest. No need to agonize over a million options. They are probably so used to people coming in with very specific requests a la pinterist that they will love getting to take the reins. Linens, again, color, fabric, budget is all you need. Just call one place, give them the above and go with it. Music – I totally forgot about ceremony music planning my wedding. I booked a singer and organist through my church the weekend before my wedding when I realized “oh crap!” Even with that, you can just let them pick. I think music is the perfect place where you can have your fiance do the planning and then you can be surprised too!

    9. Nothing will be perfect, ever so cut yourself some slack. Second the advice about calling your venue for help, but if they are unhelpful and you want to continue to do it yourself….

      Linens – BB&J. Google it. they fed ex you linens and you fed ex them back. Really nice quality.

      Flowers – Wegmans if they’re nearby or Whole foods does BEAUTIFUL flowers. If not, Costco and 1800flowers all have mail order wedding flowers. If not, call a nearby florist and give them a few examples (actual pictures) of what you like for centerpieces and bridal flowers and your budget. Have them go to town. What you lack in flowers, make up for in candle light. Votives and candles and petals look so elegant.

      If you’re willing to post more info or an email address I’d be happy to help you. I’m in wedding planning mode and all my stuff is done so I’m happy to send anything useful your way (plus I’m avoiding work!)

  19. I need expert advice from the Hive on where to get a good conservative interview suit. I just bought one online from Ann Talyor, but it is make of thin material and wrinkles easily. I need to look polished, professional and judicial. I am willing to pay $200-$300 and I am petite. Thank you in advance for your help!!

    2. Conservative choices generally include Banana Republic and J Crew. At that price point, you may also want to look at department stores, thinking Tahari, Calvin Klein, and Jones NY lines.

    3. Just splurged on one from J Crew during their 30% off sale that included suiting items, so if you have time, watch for one of those sales. The price after discount was slightly higher than your budget, but well worth it. The material is a high-quality (thin, but quality) wool and it’s fully lined. They have some suiting items in their sale section for an extra % off now, I think, that might bring it to under $300. Their Super 120s fabric is a constant so you could add pieces to the suit later as well.

  20. I’d like to buy the Zojirushi coffee mug recommended by the Hive a couple of months ago, but had a quick question. I am getting it for a friend who has three young kids and always seems to spill coffee on her clothes in the morning, so I thought getting her a travel mug that was relatively spill proof would help. Should I be looking for any features to ensure minimal spill – as in a spout/straw for drinking rather than having to unscrew the whole top to drink coffee? The latter would defeat my purpose in giving her this mug. I am clueless about the finer points of travel mug design so looking for advice. Thanks!

    1. I don’t know if this is what you’re looking for, but I bought my daughters the LLBean Spillproof travel mug and they say it really is spillproof.

    2. I have a Contigo mug and it is completely spill-proof, and sounds like a better fit for your friend than the Zojrirushi. I agree that a twist-off top to drink kind of defeats the purpose of a spill-proof mug, and a straw would make matters worse. With the Contigo mug, the drinking hole automatically seals tight when you’re not willfully pressing the button to drink, thereby allowing your friends to juggle kids and schlepping their stuff and hold her coffee at the same time. Take it from someone with babies a year apart, the Contigo saved many a work clothes disaster!

      1. Thanks. The reviews on Contigo mention having coffee dregs stuck inside the lid etc. Was that a problem for you? Which specific model do you use?

        1. I’ve had a number of Contigo mugs (all bought at Costco in 2packs, great deal!) and the lid is my least favorite part, but the convenience, heat retention, and spillproofness make it worth it in my opinion. To clean, I soak in very hot water and soap, use a kitchen brush (sponge doesn’t get in as many places), and then rinse very thoroughly with hot water (including pressing the button and allowing hot water to stream through the drinking hole), and they get very clean. The key is to not let the mug sit overnight (or for several days) sealed up when it held a drink with dairy (or juice, or anything else that would spoil – plain black coffee or tea are less of an issue), because then it’s harder to clean and sometimes the odor seems to linger even when it’s clean.

          They really are spillproof, but I would recommend getting one that also locks. With my locking ones, I throw them in my bag or purse and have never had an issue. With the non-locking ones there is the chance that it could get jostled and something could press enough against the press button that it could leak.

    4. I have a contingo one that is spillproof. Look for a “clicking top” or something like that. I literally throw this thing in my purse in the morning.

    5. I heart my Zojirushi so much, but if she’s spilling her coffee because she’s sipping it (and not using a straw/spout), then it might not be the best for her. For mine, you flip the lid open and there’s a wide-mouthed spout that could fairly easily spill coffee if you’re inclined to do it anyway. In fact, I use mine to bring coffee to work that I then pour into a coffee mug.

      My husband has the Contigo and loves it.

  21. Do any of you do freelance data entry, editing, etc.? I’m thinking about earning some extra cash by doing this in the evenings and wondering how to get started. Was looking at some of the webistes (Elance.com, Guru.com) but would love your experiences and advice…

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