ByKat Hours Updated
Comments 173 Comments

Suit of the Week: Reiss

Reiss Fenley One-Button Jacket | CorporetteFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. I do think of light blue suiting as a classic summer item, but I normally think of very lightweight tweeds, seersuckers, and other textured pieces. This fluid “ice blue” fabric is a nice change, and so is the fluted skirt. Lovely. The jacket (Reiss Fenley One-Button Jacket) is $425, the skirt (Reiss Kendall Fluted Pencil Skirt) is $210, the pants (Reiss Marx Tailored Trousers) are $240, and the dress (Reiss Marguerite Tailored Dress) is $340.
Reiss Fenley One-Button Jacket | Corporette Reiss Marx Tailored Trousers | Corporette Reiss Marguerite Tailored Dress | Corporette
(L-all)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

173 Comments

  1. Gah. Love this.

    Except I just know that if I had this suit it would spend more time at the dry cleaner’s than in my closet!

    1. Yes, I rarely if ever wear light solid colors for that reason. Of course, I have some youngish kids (but I don’t drink coffee).

    2. I love the idea of pant suits like these but somehow always reach for my skirt suits.

      1. I love the color, love the jacket but don’t love the pants. I’d wear this with the dress, if only I could afford it.

      2. I hate ironing pants. I’d always rather wear a skirt than try to iron a pair of pants.

    3. I love the dress. LOVE LOVE LOVE. But sadly I don’t think I can justify another work dress :(

  2. I am trying to figure out how best to pay down my student loans (at the tune of $175,000…ugh!). I started out paying $1,500 a month towards them and now I am up to $2,000 a month. Does anyone have any tips / tricks / resources to getting these paid down as soon as possible. FYI: I have already consolidated most of them (ones with high interest and left the ones with low interest alone).

    1. Mine aren’t that high, but I work for the government so they’re a pretty large chunk of my income. I have upped my payment with raises, but I found the biggest difference was applying any “extra” money I got towards them. I’m paid biweekly, so twice a year that extra check goes to my loans, plus income tax refunds, etc.

    2. My approach was to use my bonuses. I allowed myself a small purchase out of every bonus, and then I sent the rest to student loans. It’s a long way until December, but it’s a thought.

      1. +1. I paid off $175K in loans within 4 years after graduation using this method. (I used the pretax bonus amounts, too, for extra pain and suffering… but it was worth it.)

      2. This is my (our) approach – we pay a bit above the minimum each month and then use large windfalls like bonuses or tax refunds to pay large chunks – focusing on the high interest rate loans first (though we had a few smaller ones that we paid off recently because, when you only pay part of the loan the payment doesn’t go down, so by clearing the loan entirely, we actually got to pay less per month.)

    3. One loan at a time. Take the small victories? Take it month by month? I’m with you. Friends and I have talked about how we go from, ‘gah, gotta pay it off’ to ‘slow and steady’ all the time. I paid off my gradplus last year by telling myself I would. Now I’m on one of three staffords but debating whether I should throw it at my low interest private loans.

    4. I think it’s called the “snowball approach.” Pick the loan with the highest interest rate. Each month, start putting some extra amount towards that loan only (I chose to double the amount for that loan). Set this for autopay so it just becomes your normal payment and you don’t have to think about it. You will be surprised at how quickly that loan disappears! Then, when that loan is gone, take the total amount you previously were paying for that loan and add it as an extra payment each month to your next-highest interest loan. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Also take any bonus each year and use it to pay the loan you are currently working on paying down, plus another one if there is some left over.

      I started off with a 10-year repayment plan for $200k that I thought was fine…. then I was 4 years in and I still owed $120k and wasn’t sure for how long I wanted to work in Big Law and still had , so I started the snowball approach. Anyway, now it is 1.5 years later and I will have paid off my loans by the end of this year–$60k last year, $60k this year, using this approach. 4 years ahead of schedule and really not painful at all! I don’t care if the interest rate on some of my loans is 2% or something low–nothing can feel better than being debt-free.

      1. Yes. This is the way it’s done. I paid off gigantic debt some years ago using this method. Just stick to it and the time goes by quicker than you might think.

    5. $175,000. OMG, FOOEY! I do have an answer. Now this may sound a littel sexist, but my advise to you is the same as it is to me (and I do NOT even have any loan’s to repay): Find a guy who make’s a decent liveing, and if he treat’s you as an EQUAL, get MARRIED so that you can share expense’s (which includes your $175,000 of student loan’s).

      Seriousley, my DAD has told me many time’s that unless you get an ILLEGAL stock tip, or win at LOTTO, our best bet, as pretty, young and educated women of substance, when we are FACED with either overwhelmeing financial debt (your situeation) or a need to get MARRIED to have children soon, (as is MY situeation), is to locate an ELIGIBEL Bachelor — not just any jerk with a bank account — who finds us BOTH attractive, smart and sexy, so that they can treat us as smart equal’s, and be proud of us as their WIFE’s, and we, in turn can help them in their carreer’s as we have children (for both of us). This way, you get your debt paid off in exchange for being a wife and a mother! YAY!!!!!

    6. Also, I instituted a one-for-one shopping-for-loans plan with myself. So, say I wanted a new skirt that cost $60. Fine…I could have it, but I needed to put $60 dollars also to my loans. Amazing how much less shopping I did that way! If I had extra at the end of a month, I made sure to make an extra payment to my loans, and to instruct them not to advance the due date.

      One other tip, if you work at a firm–get your friends to come join you (in a year or two, when they are looking to lateral) and profit off the referral bonus. My biglaw firm’s referral bonus was $15K for attys and 3K for paralegals. One year I referred one of each and got a sizeable check (post-tax). I also bought myself something nice and then paid off one loan completely. It felt fantastic.

  3. There’s an interesting post on Above the Law about an email sent out by a partner to associates with young children and how “it gets better.” Thoughts from you ladies?

    1. I am both that partner (title) and that associate (parent of small children); it just depends on the day/hour/minute.

      I would love to be on the receiving end of any atta-girl e-mail. Usually, I get them for some work-related win. I have never gotten one re my work-life juggling skills.

      I would totally send this e-mail though (but maybe not, since I’d rather it not be all over the internet). But I admire the sentiment.

      1. I’m that associate now (mid-senior associate with two small children) and I can tell you that I would have appreciated receiving that email. It’s not too much of an issue for me because I happen to work for a unicorn: a great firm with a pretty good work/life balance and impressive female partners with families. But it never hurts to be reminded that others recognize how hard it is to do good work for many hours a week and still be a good parent.

    2. You know, if I had gotten that email it would have been discouraging, because she only has one kid. To me the message would have come across, “It gets better AS LONG AS YOU ONLY HAVE ONE KID.” So I guess YMMV. The intent is great, though!

      1. I’m beginning to think her message is correct-and that you are right, it’s limited to those people who have one kid. My sibling has one kid and a stressful (non-lawyer) job, and it’s manageable. Mine are older now, but I have never trained for a marathon and by the time I rotate my clothes in the summer, it’s almost winter again.

        1. Among the parents I know who both have high-stress, high paying jobs, 1 kid is pretty much the norm.

          1. i dont think that is true (i mean, obviously it may be true for you, but just not across the board). as i have said before, my husband and i are both biglaw partners (FWIW, my husband is at a top 5 firm, i’m at a top 40 or 50 firm; we are in a major city that is not on a coast) and we have two children and make it work and work well.

            but its not just us. there are lots and lots of female attorneys (and male attorneys for that matter) with more than one kids — and many with 3 or 4 kids — and both spouses have similar jobs.

            and to the question below re work/life balance w/o kids, i believe the answer is becuase as a society, we place a lot of importance on families and on raising children. and many law firms have placed a priority on retaining women who have kids becuase they were losing good attorneys.

            but i also resent the fact that poeple without children think that if i leave at 5:30 or 6 to get my kids that i am “dumping” work on them. With the rare exception of a filing or something (and this only matters as a junior associate, because you dont do this stuff as a senior associate or a partner), someone else doesnt do my work when i leave at 5:30. i do it that night at home, or then next morning, or whenever.

          2. Yeah we have more than one kid too and are both in reasonably high-powered/busy positions. I assign work to junior folks because that’s how it works. It doesn’t really relate to me having kids or not. The work that I have to do just gets shifted.

    3. I really don’t want to get flamed for this but – everyone has problems with work-life balance. Why are my struggles balancing my life less important because I don’t have children at home? I totally understand the struggle, especially when it comes to things like daycare pickups etc. but I really resent the fact that that colleagues can run out the door at 5 and hand things off to me to finish because I don’t have to pick up children. Honestly, you chose to have children – I don’t think it’s fair that I have to work harder or cancel plans more often so that you can have a work/life balance while I’m stuck at the office.

        1. In my office you can leave at 5 for daycare pickup and still be thought of reasonably well. If you leave regularly at 5 for any other reason, you’re spoken to about your lack of dedication and you don’t last long.

          1. I would not enjoy working there. I leave twice a week at 5 for a non-child reason, and it’s completely fine. I do bail if something truly urgent arises, but that is probably 4-5 times a year max.

          2. I understand, but I think the moms and dads who run out at 5 are negatively impacting their career prospects more than you might think. The grass is always greener.

          3. To be clear – I leave at 5 and I am “reasonably well thought of”, but my peers who don’t leave at 5 got promoted ahead of me. I don’t feel like I have cause to complain.

          4. +1000. Parents often are the only ones in a workplace who get flexibility. They view it as I put in the hours when I was younger and its part of your dues. Except that when you’re older and choose not to have kids, you don’t get to leave at 5. You don’t get to take a sick day and actually be sick and not work. You are expected to be “committed” and then are run into the ground. I’m speaking from the experience of not just one job, but several where this is especially pervasive.

            And no, there has never been any impact on their “career prospects” it’s just accepted.

          5. I’d add that my concern is less that you’re dumping your work on me and more that your choice has been validated by the firm as a valid reason to leave the office before 10 pm. If I wanted to leave at 6 to meet my friends for an hour or two for dinner or Happy Hour, then go home and work until I finished everything, that would absolutely be an indicator that I’m not working hard enough. For both of us, the work gets done either way, but your two hours off between 6 and 8 is okay and mine is not. That’s at least part of the reason childless people get frustrated with this discussion.

            This problem is especially tough if you’re single and trying to date other professionals. No, I can’t make a happy hour date because I’m expected to be physically at work Sure, I can try to meet you at 8, unless the partner (who’s home with her kids) springs some non-urgent project on me because she knows I’m still at work and without a “valid” excuse to go home.

      2. There are also plenty of us who leave at 5, take care of the kids and get them in bed, and then work for several hours that night. To my knowledge, no “childless” associate in my office has ever had to stay late and do work because one of the parents had to leave. We can generally plan enough to avoid that situation.

      3. I don’t know. I think it’s somewhat fair that caring for other human beings who are totally helpless and reliant on you for survival, and who failure to care for is a CRIMINAL OFFENSE, probably should have some level of priority over wanting to leave early to hit the wine bar or whatever. I understand the frustration and why it *feels* unfair (since from your perspective, people chose to have kids, so they should be stuck with the consequences) but the problem is the CHILDREN are people too, and however you feel about the parents, most adults accept that it’s unfair to punish children, which would be the result of your policy. I mean, who do you think is going to pick up kids if no one is allowed to leave for an hour to pick them up when daycare closes? They can’t drive home, they’re children. Or maybe we should go back to the 50’s and women should all stay home. I’m sure that will work out better for all of us.

        1. I like how thats where your mind went. the solution doesnt mean parents dont get to leave at 5, its letting everyone leave at 5. no one is talking about punishing the children.

    4. I also wonder if she puts her money where her mouth is . . . I was able to keep my career b/c my supervisor let me work part time, let me have cases with limited travel, helped me find a nanny, encouraged me and told me how she made it work, told others up the chain I was worth the accommodations, watched my child once when I had a brief in production and all other child care options fell through, and many other things. I mean, it does get better (mine are in middle school now), but also it gets better if people at the top work to make it better for us.

    5. To me the interesting thing about this would be how male and female associates are viewed. My husband is not a lawyer and only works 40-50 hours per week but he has almost no flexibility while he is at work. I feel like my husband’s (male) bosses really try to help him out with needing to go get his daughter off the bus and have her sit at his job until he can leave or take her to a doctor’s appointment, but they give a female colleague of his a hard time whenever she needs time for her kids or is late because the bus didn’t pick them up on time. She’s basically always told that she needs to work something else out or have a backup plan (she’s a single mom). My husband has been given a hard time about kid-related stuff exactly once. I work 75 minutes away and his bosses know that I am not really available during the day, but still, I think in some workplaces dads get off a lot easier.

  4. I’m borrowing the idea for this Hump Day threadjack from one of the airline subforums over at FlyerTalk–they have a thread titled “What is the LEAST substantive thing you can complain about?” It’s a sort of silly ongoing list of things that bother you even though you know they shouldn’t. I thought it could be fun to do this in the workplace context, so here goes:

    -When people put relatively flat items on the tall shelf of the office fridge even though there is plenty of space on the short shelves, leaving no space for tall lunches. The organization nerd in me is bothered seeing such disregard for efficient use of space ;)

    (Note: This is supposed to be fun, so no, I don’t actually get in a tizzy about this. And to anyone who gets the urge to reply “just move it”–yes, that’s what I do, because I figure the person whose lunch it is probably just threw it in there without looking and doesn’t care where it actually goes)

    1. People who walk down the “wrong” side of sidewalks and/or stand directly in front of the buttons in otherwise-empty elevators.

    2. People who walk super-slowly down the grocery store aisles, as though they’ve either (1) never been to one before or (2) didn’t think about what they needed before they got there.

      1. Followed closely by people who stand in a long line at a chain cafe/restaurant (Starbucks, ABP,etc), eyes glued to their smartphone, and then only when they get to the front of said line do they stammer and LOOK UP AT THE MENU!

        1. Along these lines, people who pass the time in a long checkout line staring at their phone/US Weekly and continue staring at said reading material while the clerk rings up their purchases. Only when the clerk announces the total do they start the five minute process of digging in their bottomless purse for their wallet and making the cash/credit decision. Do they think the clerk might announce “you can have all this for free if you can name three items/body parts Solange hit Jay Z with” and therefore the wallet may be unnecessary?

          1. When I’m purchasing gossip magazines at the supermarket and the cashier scans my magazine and starts reading the cover and/or quickly flips through it. I feel like the magazine is tainted after that. Stupid, I know, but I just can’t help feeling like that! You’ll notice it too now!

      2. why do you need to think about what you need at the grocery store before you get there?

      3. Also people who let their children run all over the place at the grocery store – especially during peak hours. It’s already hard enough to navigate the cart and find what I need to quickly get in and get out and that just makes it 10 times worse!

        It’s fine if you bring your kids with you, but if they are not sitting in the cart or assisting you in grabbing items, at least instruct them to stay standing next to you or your cart.

    3. Not updating the subject line in emails when discussing something completely unrelated to the original sender

      1. Or when I forward a message from a student to a colleague and they respond to me with a message intended for the student.

    4. People who stop to talk or look at their phones right at the exit/entrance to escalators and moving walkways.

      2. People who stop right after getting off the metro and block the path of those who are also trying to exit.

        1. Or who stop right after they get on the metro so others cannot board. Because, you know, they’re getting off soon, right?

      3. how about people who are bad at walking, generally. Treat the sidewalk like a road.

        1. How about you consider the fact that a lot of people have ‘invisible’ disabilities?

          1. ok, that’s one way to interpret my comment… UGH to groups of people taking up the whole sidewalk, people that are texting and sort of drifting across the sidewalk randomly, making them difficult to pass, people who jaywalk (which is fine unless you don’t pay attention to the traffic flow in the sidewalk you’re joining, and cut off another pedestrian), people who abruptly turn around (move to the side and then make your move!), people with giant strollers who use them as effective bulldozers, etc.

          2. If there’s an invisible disability that requires four people to walk abreast at about 1.5 mph down the sidewalk, then sure, I’ll consider it.

          3. JJ— YES! Tourists and other obnoxious people who must walk 4 abreast, or in NYC, even 2 abreast can block the sidewalk. My favorite was the person who kept meandering from side to side in front of my as I tried to get past.

    5. People with bad posture. Seriously. I want to yell at everyone to straighten up. Oh, and people who clog up the check out line at the plant nursery with returning something and coupons on the saturday before mother’s day, arguably their busiest day of the year.

      2. This is just weird. Why cant one return something to a store? Or use a coupon? It seems the real pet peeve is on the store for not having sufficient check out lanes.

    6. My office is on the corner of a busy intersection and it is finally spring after a long winter. All the motorcycles have come out and rev their engines at the stop light and roar when they get to accelerate through the intersection. It drives me nuts. All the walkers and joggers are also out and hitting the walk button at the stop light so I hear it beep beep beep when they are allowed to cross. My building clearly needs to upgrade its insulation.

      1. Motorcyclists who rev their engines at stoplights are one of my biggest and worst pet peeves. There is literally no reason to do it other than to annoy everyone around them. This would happen very late at night in my old neighborhood as well. It’s just being inconsiderate for the sake of being inconsiderate, grrrrrrr!

    7. 1) People putting things on my chair instead of my clearly labeled and visible inbox on my desk! 2) People who wear flip-flops or sandals to work.
      3) People brushing their teeth at work. I don’t know why it bothers me but I find it weird. (I keep mints at my desk, and if needed floss with the door closed.)

      2. People who leave the water running for no reason, whether while washing their hands, doing the dishes, brushing their teeth, etc. It’s like nails on a chalkboard to me. It takes half a second to turn off the water!! But people leave it running full blast while loading the dishwasher.

        1. Sigh, kids are the worst at leaving the water running. And leaving the refrigerator open.

          1. Many years ago I saw an energy-conservation film that illustrated the cold air in the fridge/freezer using ping pong balls. As in, you open the door and leave it open, and all the cold ping pong balls fall out and scatter all over the floor. It scarred me for life and now every time I see an open fridge door I want to scream, “THE PING PONG BALLS!!”

          2. similar to Senior Attorney, there was a cartoon on PBS when I was a kid that split-screened a kid brushing their teeth with the water running and the water disappearing from some poor fish’s lake at the same time. Lessons like that stick I tell ya.

      3. I used to think this was really weird, but then I got invisalign. Now I have to brush my teeth after I eat. Therefore, I need to brush my teeth at work. Trust me, I don’t like doing it anymore than you like seeing it.

        1. I’m an at-work-tooth-brusher too, but with no Invisalign, so no “reason” to brush. I just enjoy having clean teeth. I had no idea anybody would be bothered by it! I promise I rinse out the sink and leave everything as it was when I arrived.

          1. Well I close the bathroom door and don’t even let my husband see me brush my teeth, much less my co-workers! I guess to me it’s a personal hygiene matter that should be done in private.

      4. Susie,

        When I worked in banking, I was taught that leaving whatever you wanted someone to see on their chair, and not anywhere else, was VERY IMPORTANT. It was one of the first on-the-job mistakes I made. As in, the staffer called me into her office and screamed at me for leaving something in her inbox on Day 2 or so. Many people use their inboxes as repositories for low-priority stuff. I want someone to see that I’ve gotten something that they asked for done, the markup, clean and redline will be on their chair. Period. I do not like to get yelled at, ever, and especially not at work….

        1. This is how it is in my office, too. Urgent stuff goes on my chair. Everything else goes in my inbox. I think this is a great system because not everyone can go through their entire inbox every day.

    8. I love this!

      1. People who stop at the top/bottom of escalators or stairs for no reason as if there is nobody behind them. Related – people who don’t stand on the right on escalators.

      2. People who send e-mails saying nothing but ‘thanks’ and use reply all.

      3. People who send a pdf of a manuscript mark-up when they have one or two typos to correct.

      I’m sure I have many more…I’m a grumpy ol’ lady :)

    9. The fact that “Bill” is a nickname for William and “Bob” is a nickname for Robert. “Will” and “Rob,” sure, those are obvious. But Bill and Bob? That just doesn’t make sense. Where the heck did the B come from?

      Also, “Peggy” for Margaret. I mean, WTF?

      1. Along these lines, people who name their child one thing with the full, announced, intention to call them something entirely different from birth.

        Example (fictional): Katherine Amanda Thomas, goes by Kelly. Named Katherine Amanda by parents who intended, from day one, to call her Kelly. None of these names are family names. Why not just name her Kelly?!?!?

        I’ve met several people who fall into this category, btw. It’s not just a one off.

        1. Yes!! Or parents who name the kid Donald Adam Smith, with the intent to call him Adam. NAME HIM ADAM.

        2. And if you want to call your kid Becky from day one, name her Becky. Why name her Rebecca when no one will ever call her that?

          1. So she has a grown up name that she can use when she, you know, grows up? Says the mother of an Elizabeth who we call by a nickname.

          2. So that she can legitimately use Rebecca if she needs a more formal name later on.

          3. I don’t understand why you care so much. It’s none of your business. Let it go.

          4. This reminds me of my strange fourth grade teacher who insisted on calling me “Katherine” (my full name- and she had no problem calling Michael Mike and Jennifer Jenny). When my mom called to let the teacher know I preferred to go by Katie, she told my mother she should have just named me Katie in the first place!

        3. Wow, I think the naming thing is off limits. Why do you care what another parent names their kid? No snark intended, but you are aware that a lot of people named Becky change to Rebecca as adults? And some Adam’s change to Don as adults? I usually tend to agree with your comments, ladies, but this one just sounds like a pet peeve gone wrong! Signed, someone who has always used “middle name” as her name. My parents just liked the sound of “firstname, middlename, lastname” and not “middlename, firstname, lastname”.

          2. This is supposed to be about silly complaints that bug us but don’t actually mean much. Things that we shouldn’t care about is exactly the spirit of it.

        4. Yes! I dated a guy when I was a teenager who’s first name was John. Everyone we knew called him John. That was his name, no question. Except to his mother, who called him by his middle name every time she spoke to him. It was so weird. Why didn’t she just name him that?

          2. If his dad’s name is also John, it kinda makes sense that his mom would call him something else, just to avoid confusion. If not… I don’t get it either.

          3. Oh, wow, Anonymous at 4:36! I was imagining someone commenting something like that, and thinking “Nah, that seems really unlikely.” Yes, it does start with an A. He graduated high school in the late 90’s (about 35 now) and grew up in the southeast. If it’s the same person, wow, just wow.

          4. Haha, is Virginia “southeast”? He graduated mid-90’s, so I think we’re safe. How weird would that be?

          5. OK, whew. Nope, different guy. That would have been crazy, though. Also crazy that there are two of them out there.

        5. My bf has this problem and I can’t buy him airplane tickets. I think his name is what everyone calls him but TSA wants his name to be the name on his driver’s license. PICK ONE NAME, PEOPLE.

          2. I buy his tickets that say Bill because I think that’s his name, but his drivers license says William and TSA wants his tickets to match his ID.

        7. Haha, so while nodding in agreement, I realized that we did that same thing with one of my kids. So now I feel like I have to explain.

          Example: Officially name Laura Lucia, called Lola. It was always our intent to call her Lola. Husband would not agree to calling her Laura because he didn’t like it, and while I thought Lola was cute I wanted her to have a ‘real name’ to use as an adult if she so chooses. Compromise occurred.

          It made/makes complete sense to us but objectively it is sort of nuts.

      2. I never understood how Richard = D!ck. I always address them as Richard in writing, no matter what.

        1. The Old English version of the Modern English name “Margaret” literally meant “pearl.” Pearl became a nickname for Margaret, and then we got “Peg” and “Peggy.”

      4. The British play rhyming games with names (pun intended).

        Example Georgie Porgie…

        Thus William became Willy which became Willy Billy which became Bill. Robert became Robby then Robby Bobby which became Bobby. Richard – Rich- Richie – Rickie – Dickie – Dick.

        Peggy is from Meg, Meggie, Meggie Peggy.

      5. Forgot the censor for D!ck.

        The British play rhyming games with names (pun intended).

        Example Georgie Porgie…

        Thus William became Willy which became Willy Billy which became Bill. Robert became Robby then Robby Bobby which became Bobby. Richard – Rich- Richie – Rickie – D!ckie – D!ck.

        Peggy is from Meg, Meggie, Meggie Peggy.

    10. People who eat cereal drive me insane. The slurping, the milk, the dribble. GAH. It’s all the worst.

      1. I had to laugh at this because I love cereal (but only eat it in the comfort of my own home) and my first thought was – wait, there are people who DON’T eat cereal?!

    11. When I provide someone a list of dates/times I am available to do something, and the person comes back asking for a different time. If I could do it then, I would have included it on my list. Now we’ve wasted at least 2 extra emails because you didn’t believe me the first time.

      1. To be fair, sometimes it’s recommended to send arbitrary times/dates just so ppl will commit.

        1. This thread is not about being fair!!!!

          But thanks, it had not occurred to me that people might think I wasn’t giving them my actual, complete availability. Maybe I will word it more clearly in the future if I can come up with phrasing that doesn’t sound too dramatic, i.e. “here is my COMPREHENSIVE, EXCLUSIVE list of times available; let me know WHICH OF THESE you can do as I have NO OTHER AVAILABILITY, SERIOUSLY NONE…”

      3. I have a client who drives me nuts with this. He suddenly has a crisis and *must* schedule time for me to come in. I send my available days and times.

        Crickets.

        Then weeks later, “can you come in tomorrow?” Uh, no, here’s another updated list. And so it goes.

    12. Why does my dentist call to schedule checkup appointment so they can be exactly six months apart? And my teeth and gums are always fine! I realize they want the insurance money, but would the world come to an end if I came every 9 months or even (gasp) yearly?

    13. People who forget their food in the work microwave and disappear. I just want to heat my lunch!

    14. Drivers who, in order to make a 90 degree turn in a personal vehicle (car/truck/SUV), first swerve into the adjoining lane because they think they need to be able to swing widely into the turn. NO. Unless you are driving a semi, or a very large U-Haul, you don’t need to do this. You just don’t. 90 degree turns = a normal road = what your car/truck/SUV was designed for.

      Stay in your lane, people.

      Atlanta = worst drivers ever.

      1. Drivers who cannot manage to safely go around someone making a left-hand turn or who is pulled over, even with plenty of room. Argh.

      2. So weird. I had literally never seen this before. Until this morning. And I thought it was odd.

      4. I didn’t think there were other Atlantans on this site! But seriously, ATL drivers are the worst.

    15. When the whole row of treadmills is open and someone picks the one RIGHT NEXT to me. Even though I know it’s going to be super crowded in 10 minutes and all of the machines will be taken anyway.

      When someone moves the coffee creamer that I bring into the office because their yogurt/soda/milk/whatever has to be in the most convenient spot possible on the fridge door.

      The wilted pieces of lettuce in my salad.

      When the liquor store only has one 6-pack of my favorite beer left, but someone took one of the beers for the mix-and-match option so the 6-pack only has 5 beers.

      1. Your treadmill scenario, except with bathroom stalls. WHY. WHY. WHY.

        People on the subway when there is plenty of places to stand, plenty of room, etc but they choose to stand directly in front of me while I’m seated, and then touch my legs.

        People who wear backpacks on the subway.

        People on the subway, generally!

        1. People who hold hands on the subway/subway stairs/entering & exiting the subway. Stop slowing everyone else down and taking up more room for your PDA.

      2. And when I purposely park where there are no other cars in the parking lot, there are 20 spaces empty around me and someone parks right next to me.

    16. Somone leaving phone on vibrate and sitting on a table during a meeting. It is happening right now and making me stabby.

    17. When the baggers at the grocery store ignores my carefully grouped items and just throws things in randomly and as inefficiently as possible. Drives my mildly OCD planner self batty. Even my husband has conceded that its just faster to back off and let me bag.

        1. Because the bagging starts while you’re still otherwise occupied unloading your groceries and paying!

        2. Because if there is a bagger provided, they are bagging while the ringing up is happening and the OP is waiting to pay/being attentive to the need to pay promptly so as not to hold up the rest of the line.

          And if there is a bagger provided, they usually WON’T let you bag your own stuff.

        3. Stop n shop has scanners so you can ring yourself up and bag while you shop. Best thing ever. Which brings up annoying thing, when no one puts back the scanners and there are none charged!

      2. When the baggers at the grocery store break one egg in my dozen, about 1 week out of 4. I keep extra egg containers at home so when they do that, I don’t have to keep the soggy container.

    18. People who sit through several hours of traffic court arraignments waiting for their case to be called, and then when it’s finally their turn, react to the question “how do you plead?” as though it were the most surprising question they had ever been asked, and have to devote significant time to considering said question. And then repeat the process when asked about traffic school. Argh!

    19. I hate when people in classes at the gym need to stand or put their mat right in front of the doors where there’s plenty of room elsewhere . I’m sorry you’re self-conscious, but probably people are judging you more for blocking the entrance.

  5. TJ related to medical stuff.
    My 11 month old son has suddenly started exhibiting some strange repetitive behavior – rapid blinking and flinching, stiffening and clenching… he does these 3-4 times and they appear involuntary. Rudimentary google tells me that this could be anything from minor tics that he will grow out of to infantile spasms with serious long term consequences. We took him to the pediatrician who said it didn’t seem concerning but perhaps we should do an EEG for peace of mind. My question – is the EEG procedure relatively error-proof and therefore I can go with the facility referred by my pediatrician OR do I need to research and find a really good neuro-specialist to do the EEG? Any tales or advice? Thanks!

    1. Are you on a PPO plan where you could take him to a neurologist without a referral? If so, I would do that. Trust your gut when it comes to this sort of stuff with your kid. If you think it needs further investigation, it probably does.

    2. Sorry to hear you’re having these problems. It’s actually a really good question, because if you go with one facility and then switch to another specialist, they will want to redo the EEG, even if there is no reason to suspect that the first one was done incorrectly. Simply speaking, each specialist wants to use its own facility to make sure the work is done to their specifications. If you’re in the NYC area I recommend the NYU Comprehensive Epilepsy Center on 34th Street. Best wishes.

    3. By the way, a routine EEG reads for about 30 minutes, but sometimes they need to read longer than that to catch seizures, especially when they’re not frequent.

      Another good idea (great idea, even though I never did it) is to take a video of the kid when he’s having the episode, in case he doesn’t have one when you’re seeing the doctor…

      1. Absolutely go to a neurologist. Do not pass go. Do not let your pediatrician order an EEG without a neurologist taking a history/exam.

        Best Neurology departments in NYC are Columbia, Cornell and NYU… In that order.

        Completely agree with taking a video of events.

        I’m a neurologist. There are other more benign things this can be, but your child deserves a good quality EEG read by a good neurologist.

        1. Thank you. I am trying not to freak out and just focus on work. Keeping my fingers crossed

        1. Look at either whose available at Northwestern or Rush…. says the wife of an academic neurologist in Chicago.

        2. not sure if he does kids, but Dr. Alan Shepard (Lakeshore Medical Associates, which is part of northwestern) is a fabulous nuerologist.

          1. Doctor Shepard! Used to see him for my migraines but I think he might actually specialize in seizure disorders. Looks a bit a Tony Goldwyn, I think. Very good doctor.

        3. If you are out in the suburbs, my daughter’s neurologist is Dr. Yadava, in Elmhurst. We see Guarav, the son, but I’m sure Rita the mom is also good.

          1. Dr. Shepard appears to be a General adult neurologist and not a seizure specialist. You want someone who regularly examines infants – has to be a pediatric neurologist. Also, their techs will be much more experienced with managing kids during the EEG.

            https://www.luriechildrens.org/en-us/care-services/specialties-services/epilepsy/Pages/index.aspx

            http://www.rush.edu/rumc/page-1099611538227.html

            http://www.uchicagokidshospital.org/specialties/epilepsy/

      3. That’s a great idea about the video. I will try to take one before we go to the specialists.

        1. Since you’re in a metro area, go to a neurologist who specializes in epilepsy – sometimes they are called epileptologists, even though I don’t know if that is an official designation. Unless your son’s case is equivocally being caused by something other than seizures, you will end up visiting an epilepsy specialist anyway. You will save time and worry by going straight there.

          Try not to worry in the meantime – I was very scared when my son first presented with seizures, but his epilepsy has turned out to be very controllable (though I know this is not true in every case).

  6. I know we have previously talked about when to disclose a pregnancy at work. I am still pretty early (about 7 weeks), but I have been having some problems which require additional testing and doctors visits. I am curious if any of you ladies have disclosed your pregnancy to your supervisor during the first trimester. If you told during the first trimester, would you mind sharing your stories? I am worried about negative repercussions and just telling this early in general. At the same time, I feel that perhaps my supervisor would be more supportive when it comes to scheduling appointments and needing time off.

    1. My friends who had difficult pregnancies from the beginning generally did tell their work earlier than usual. I agree that it helps you schedule your appointments. You can certainly take the approach “I have a lot of appointments and the reason is private”; but assuming everything goes mostly OK you will be telling them you are pregnant in a month or so anyway. It shouldn’t make a big difference either way.

    2. I had hyperemesis gravidum very badly from weeks 8-35 or so. I disclosed my pregnancy very early because I wasn’t sure I was going to be physically able to board a plane for an international work trip. My bosses were very supportive and gave me a lot of leeway. It also made me feel a lot less bad about eating frequently/taking lots of impromptu bathroom breaks b/c everyone knew what was going on.
      My firm is one that is very work/life friendly, but I feel like disclosing early really helped my team plan, and I was able to use more flex time to accommodate days I was really ill.

      1. seriously anne-on, are you me? I had HG with both kids and a very similar story to tell. I wonder if there is some correlation between HG and long labors, or if its just a coincedence.

    3. I actually told right away (as in, the day I went to the doctor and confirmed it), despite not having any complications. At the time, though, I worked for a very small, very everyone in everyone’s business, very low stress, family-like office, so I decided that that was best. My current office is more buttoned up, so I’m not sure that I’d do it that way again now.

      For the story, I just got the two partners together in one of their offices and said that I was expecting my first child in X month. They congratulated me, and said that they would work with me on the details, and that was pretty much that (other than the fact that the very busy-body secretary was waiting at the door with a big hug, having already figured out what was up, and followed it up with a big announcement to the support staff that “we’re pregnant!”) (I know that that sounds horrible, but really, it was sort of endearing – she’s just one of those people, you know?) Everyone was fine about it throughout.

      Congratulations and good luck!

    4. I was a 4th or 5th year I think at the time I had my second baby. I told a partner that I worked with a lot at around 8 weeks, and then I told a few others on a need to know basis. I was very, very sick (I too had hyperemesis gravidum) — i couldnt keep anything down, had to go to the hospital for an IV at one point, was super weak, often had to lie on the floor of my office etc. The one partner knew something was wrong with me and I just told him so he wouldnt worry.

      I had no ramifications and once I told people, it was much better — it was too hard to hide the fact that i was puking all the time.

      1. Thank you so much for sharing your stories. I think I will go ahead and share with my supervisor.

    5. I’m on my third planned pregnancy (no baby yet). I had medical problems and told people at work when I was pregnant the first time. Telling everyone that I lost the baby was horrid – as was answering constant questions for the next year+ about “when are you trying again” “are you not pregnant again yet”, etc. This time, I am 21 weeks and not telling anyone until I absolutely have to, despite needing lots of time off from work for high-risk preg stuff. So what I’m saying is only tell if you feel comfortable telling at work if something (God forbid) does go wrong. Thats just my opinion, based on my own experience. And I have a lovely, female boss.

      1. I would second this. Mercifully I was on vacation when I miscarried which gave me a few days out of the office unquestioned, but I’m very glad I did not have to tell people at work about it. It’s all about what you’re comfortable with, but personally, in your situation I probably would have told my boss that I needed to have some medical testing done over the next two months and would be needing to take leave for frequent appointments. I would wait to disclose that I was pregnant until closer to 14 weeks. But YMMV and I really do think this is kind of a know your office/know your boss type thing. If you’d feel comfortable discussing this stuff with your boss/colleagues, I wouldn’t worry about it. My workplace is very friendly but I just don’t have that type of relationship with my coworkers.

Comments are closed.