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There seems to be a difference of opinion on these slippers, er, boots from Chaco. They're categorized as boots on Chaco's website, but Zappos, for example, describes them as slippers. Well, I have these shoes myself, and I use them as slippers because they're soft and cozy — but also sturdier than my usual fall/winter indoor combo of Adidas flip flops and socks (yes, so stylish) for things like carrying a basket of laundry on stairs. (The material is actually less flexible than what it looks like in the image above.)
While these shoes undoubtedly have a slipper-ish vibe, the sole and upper are hardy enough for these to serve as outdoor footwear for weekend errands and so on.
These Chaco boots are available for $90 at Zappos (in three colors) and Nordstrom (solely in black) in sizes 6–11.
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Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Anonymous
I’m planning a trip to Paris. Ideally we’d go the last week of April as that’s our anniversary, but I’ve got a trial scheduled around that time. We could either go late March/first week of April or any time after mid-May. When would you go to best balance having good weather but fewer crowds? Is it already super crowded by mid-May and we should just wait until Fall?
NYCer
I don’t think there will be a discernable difference crowd-wise between mid-May and the fall. Paris doesn’t have a high season to the same extent as, say, the south of France or other places along the Med. I would just pick the time that works best with your schedule.
Anon
I used go the first week of May and it tended to be chilly, in case that is a consideration for you.
Anon
I have been there in July and it was damp and chilly. IDK how women can be so chic in damp coldness (but they do!).
Anon
I was there this July and it was hot, humid, and so crowded I was relieved to come home by the end. (The papers were writing about the simultaneous record waves of heat and tourists.)
Anon
Paris weather can just vary. I have never not had a bag with a fleece and raincoat in it.
Anon
I went in February a couple of years ago and it was sunny and 65 the whole time. It was perfection.
Anon8
This is unseasonable, but I went mid-May this year and it was shockingly hot. Like 85 degrees. Not terribly crowded though. Absolutely adored my time in Paris, May was a beautiful time to go IMO.
Anon
Ha, it was unseasonably cold the year we went to Paris in May. High 50s and pouring rain. If you average our experiences the weather should be good. :)
Anon
Paris isn’t super crowded in mid-May and weather should be much better. I have a professor husband who normally gets done with teaching the first week of May so for many years (until our kids started public school which doesn’t let out until Memorial Day…sob) we took our big vacation in the second week of May. We can’t travel in the fall due to his work, so I don’t have that comparison basis, but May is MUCH less crowded than June-August and much better weather than March in most of Europe. It’s a lovely time of year to visit Europe.
anon
I went in early May and it was trench coat weather in the morning. Warm enough without in the afternoon. Not crowded overall except at certain places (Louvre was a zoo by mid morning).
Anon
I posted above about early May and this is spot-on.
Anonymous
I went in early May and it was cold and rainy. Also, in my experience, trial dates get moved due to the judges schedule. I didn’t plan a vacation for a year because the trial kept getting moved. I’d just plan whatever day works for you.
Anon
Just to add another data point – I have been to Paris this October and had amazing weather. Rain 1 day out of 5, but those remaining 4 were blue-sky and 20C.
There will be always tourists in Paris, summer is the worst, March-May is fine, so is September onwards.
Weather-wise, I would wait for second half of April/beg May so that you can roam the streets.
Please, be aware May 1st and 8th are bank holidays and many public and private places can be closed.
Cat
weather in May is super changeable just like at home — we’ve had it be 75 and sunny, 55 and pouring, and overcast and breezy… all in the same 4 day weekend.
Emma
May should be nice and not too crowded, although as noted the weather is highly variable and some of the more popular attractions are always busy. Note that there are a few long weekends in May that make it likely certain things will be closed. But it’s also when the locals start going away which helps with the crowds.
Anon
Applying online for a senior position. The supposedly handy automated software that reads your resume and populates it into the company’s blanks has simply skipped over the 4th of 10 jobs I’ve had, but jobs 1-3 and 5-10 are there. There’s no way to drag to reorder jobs or to “insert job here”. My only choice is to delete jobs 5-10 and retype them all manually after adding job 4 in the correct spot or just slap job 4 down at the bottom of them all. Hoping you’ll tell me it’s ok to slap job 4 down at the bottom. Applying for jobs can be such a slog!
Anonymous
Some of them have a little arrow. Drop job 4 down and see if it lets you shuffle higher. I hate, hate, hate automated systems. Also check that your date was right or if there is some other error that might have led to it not being accepted. Something small like a mistyped end date can do that.
Anon
I would retype. But having applied for like 40 roles in the last month…. I feel your pain and hate those systems with passion.
Anon
If the system doesn’t make me, I never fill those out. I just attach my resume.
Anon
+1
Vicky Austin
Today is my last day of work for the week, I only have a few piddly tasks to take care of, and yet all I want to do is sit on Instagram waiting for pictures of the UK state banquet. Life is very hard. Anybody else hitting a wall?
Anon8
Very much same!! I just have to wrap up a few things and yet I’m completely unmotivated.
Curious
Big wall, mostly chatting with people at work today, performance be d*mend.
Curious
*d*mned
Anon
I have unofficially taken this week off, LOL. Also most of last week as everyone I work with was at a conference…and I only have two work weeks between Thanksgiving and my winter vacation followed by Christmas break. I predict nothing is getting done between mid-November and January.
Anonymous
Yes let’s get going! Surely it’s dinner time in the UK where are my tiaras?
Anonymous
Ohhhh new Jenny packham gorgeous!!
Vicky Austin
Blingy shoulders! Glittery shoes! Be still my heart!
Anon
The tiara and the earrings and the brooch. Swoon!!
Vicky Austin
I’m also super impressed by QCamilla! I swear she’s worn the same white gown + honeycomb tiara to every state banquet since she married Charles. To come out swinging in a brilliant blue like that! Inspired.
Anon
I take it you are a millennial, Vicki. We Gen X-ers (at least the older ones like me) are Team Diana and will celebrate nothing about Camilla and Charles. And we have taught our Gen Z kids!
Anon
Elder millennial here who will never forgive Camilla (and Charles) for the Diana stuff.
Anon
Nothing about Camilla is elegant. She always looks like she’s trodding around like a horse. Tonight is no exception.
Anon
So gorgeous!
Senior Attorney
Same! So far I have ordered my Christmas cards, had a nice chat with my son, and written my weekly column for the Rotary newsletter. And done a … sensible… amount of actual work.
Vicky Austin
Christmas cards! Good shout – that seems like a perfect task to be the carrot for me today.
Anonymous
Yay!!
Anon
Our school district has just phased out honors classes in high school (equity!) and is now giving kids two options for any advanced coursework (basic is still an option). The first is to do just as many AP classes as they can. The second is to enroll in a program where they co-enroll in community college and graduate with an AA (but completing some AAs make take 5 years of high school vs 4) but they can’t do AP classes with this option. Kid has a form that I will need to hand in after Thanksgiving to pick an option. IDK if the community college classes are for all community college students or if it is just for high school aged kids (and my kid won’t drive until the end of junior year, so I’m not sure what the logistics will be or if anyone has thought that far ahead).
IDK how this may be in other places and the no-honors situation is new this year. I get that if you are going only for an AA, this is a slam dunk. But the internet says that sometimes the AA is bad because colleges don’t know what to do with it (like all kids are treated as transfers and eligible for less aid and not treated as real social freshmen) and only State Us (which you can’t always get into) have signed agreements to take the credits as transferrable ones.
I’m working over Thanksgiving and won’t even have any chances to talk to even local mom friends (there is someone who always is on the ball on this stuff). Counselors in school are something like one per grade, so IDK that they even know my kid, much less what is the better path to take. I think that this may be common in other states for a while, just new locally.
Vicky Austin
1 – I doubt the community college would have agreed to do something like this without the courses being accessible to the high school students one way or another (virtually attend the community college class, have their own section taught on site by a HS teacher qualified to do so, etc.).
2 – What does your daughter want to do after high school?
pugsnbourbon
What are your kid’s goals? If they want to pursue a 4-year degree, then I’d say the AP classes are the best bet. If one of the AA programs appeals to them or they want to start working/take a break after high school, that might be the way to go.
Dual-enrollment programs are pretty widespread, but the details vary. The ones I’m familiar with are either a) programs specifically for high-schoolers that are usually 3 or 4 years or b) students enroll in regular CC classes; these usually start junior year. The latter may earn the student an AA or just be more rigorous classes to help prepare for college.
Anon
I think if you knew in 8th grade that you just had to be a nurse and nothing else, it might make a lot of sense. I don’t know a lot of kids like that though (not that I know a lot of kids).
Anonymous
Please don’t share this advice. Nursing increasingly requires a bachelors degree. It would be silly to pursue the lower qualification if you had the option.
Anon
OP on this: our CC has a RN/BA program with our local state U. But you have to know that that is exactly what you want because it is wildly popular. There is also a BA to RN program for people who decide later to go into nursing.
Anon
Right. The nursing shortage in many areas means that RNs with a CC degree can get hired and do an RN to BSN program while working either full or part time.
Anon
I am going to disagree here. A high school freshman is usually right around 14 years old. And I would not defer to a 14 year old about their future plans. (And don’t even get me started on “equity” moves that force kids that age to basically select a track without apparent consideration of who selects which track and why).
OP – If a 4 year university is your plan, then I recommend the AP classes to the extent that your kid can handle them. Just be sure that she talks to her college advisor about any complications arising from not being in the “year” she would otherwise be in. My daughter was able to add a valuable minor to her degree and still graduate in 4 years despite completely changing her major thanks to AP classes.
Anonymous
Idk what your question is, please edit. But your child who you obviously plan to have attend a 4 year college should do the AP courses. Which function as honors courses.
Anonymous
No advice, just commiseration, my school board also removed all honours classes as well as extra curriculars that could be perceived as inequitable and it’s just a dumpster fire for high achievers.
Seventh Sister
My kids’ school removed Honors English, which has been SUCH a dumpster fire that I think they will be able to save the other honors courses. As I suspected, the implementation of this particular “equity” measure has been a disaster because the administration is led by people that make Principal Ava on Abbott Elementary look like Winston Churchill.
If I was in your shoes, I’d just do as many AP classes as possible if your kid is interested in selective 4-year colleges. Even for colleges in places like CA where there is an active community college to selective 4-year college pipeline, I don’t think admissions counselors will view dual enrollment with no APs as positively as some APs + regular coursework. Also, there shouldn’t be any bar to your kid taking community college classes in the summer or online if that appeals to them.
Anon
Too many APs can hurt you.l too. My son is a sophomore at a UC and his roommate wasn’t able to enroll in a sophomores and under class he needs for his major because his APs make him technically a junior. By the time they straightened it out, the class was full. Apparently this is common, according to my son and his friends.
Higher Ed
This is useful information but with a misguided conclusion. It is important to know that college grade level is based on credits earned, not how many years you have been in school. Grade level impacts things like financial aid (federal loan amounts change a small amount based on your grade level) and course registration. When your grade level and number of years in school has a mismatch like that, you’ll often need to get some overrides ahead of time in order to get the classes you want, but if you are proactive about doing it before registration opens up (usually you just need to speak with the academic department and maybe get a form signed) it shouldn’t be a problem. I certainly wouldn’t skip taking the AP tests to avoid this particular problem!
In the OPs case, I think her kid is better off taking the AP classes than going the community college track. APs are designed for high achievers.
Anon
+1 from someone who works in higher ed and entered college as a sophomore due to APs (but spent 4 years in college).
Anon
I agree, but this is specific to the UCs, especially right now. Getting the special exception ahead of registration is more of a fantasy than a reality.
Anonymous
You can take the AP class and test and not use it to claim credit. That’s totally possible.
Anon
Given the lack of information, I would go for the AP option. It feels standard and well known whereas it seems like the AA program will have issues to work out in the next few years.
Anonymous
In our district the answer would be AP if she wants to go to a 4-year college. Dual enrollment here is aimed more at kids who want to stop with an AA and begin working right after high school.
I took both community college and AP courses during high school and found the AP courses much more rigorous and the AP students more engaged.
anon
This sounds like the options my high school had (late 2000s). AP classes are the right option. The AA option (at least at my Seattle-area high school–it was through Running Start) was taking community college classes with the students who enroll in community college. They were in a different life stage than the high school kids. Provided he generally gets along with his classmates and his classmates are nice to him, he will likely enjoy AP classes more. That was at least what I heard from people who switched out of Running Start.
Logistically, it was community college classes on a community college schedule. One of the girls on swim team was taking precalc from 7 to 9 at night.
The college credit issue for AP classes only exists if he takes the tests. If he doesn’t, he won’t get the college credit, and won’t have the “you are a freshman and must decide on a major” issue. That that would mean retaking the course in college, which might not be a bad thing. I retook Calc I, and for me, it was great. It turned out I wasn’t bad at math like I thought, I just lacked confidence, and retaking a class gave me the confidence I needed. I went in to college hating math and came out with a math/econ degree.
JTM
+1 to this advice. I took a lot of AP courses, but only tested in the classes I wanted to get college credits for (English, US History, Euro History, Econ). I took AP Calc & Chemistry but repeated them in my freshman year of college, which helped me establish a strong GPA while I was adjusting to college life.
Anon
My high school had limited honors and AP options, but all classes were taught at an advanced level. Math had between 3 (freshman year) and 5 tracks (senior year) and foreign language had regular and honors but nothing else was tracked. There were no APs until junior and senior year (junior year offered AP US history and foreign languages). Senior year had several AP options (basically as electives): several history and science choices, stats and AB and BC calc, computer science, and other options. English and at least 1-2 history classes were not taught as APs but you could take this extra seminar and take the test.
I honestly like this approach, but it has to be done right, with decent class sizes and dedicated teachers. I’m pretty against the level of tracking in most schools. So, I wouldn’t necessarily fret that honors are going away (if it’s done well!).
I would probably select the AP option, fwiw.
anon
I’m the 4:00 PP, and I really liked the approach as well. I was able to take AP classes where I was capable and skip them where I wasn’t. I was a really late bloomer and never would have been able to take any of these had I been in a school that had tracking.
We did have a couple of honors courses, but only in areas where there was no AP option. Like there was no AP World History, just Honors World History.
Seventh Sister
It’s the “done well” part that is super tough.
In our district, the high school teachers wanted to eliminate honors classes BUT they also wanted smaller class sizes so they could offer differentiated instruction. Instead, the teacher got bigger classes, no training, and no aides. No differentiated instruction is happening. The district intends to add full inclusion of kids with severe disabilities (who may or may not have their own aides) without any new training to these classrooms in the next couple years.
Dozens of kids who were in language immersion K-8 are reading the same book for the THIRD time in high school. Said book was read in middle school accelerated English, middle school language immersion Spanish, and is now required for freshman English. (It was a totally forseeable problem, nearly all of the middle school kids go on to the high school.) And it’s not a García Márquez masterwork tbh.
I was in a school district that did intense tracking K-12, and I hated it because I was tracked as dumb (which meant I had to fight my way out of it in middle and high school). But in my kids’ district, any kid can ask to take accelerated classes, and the school MUST enroll them in the accelerated classes. No teacher signature, no prereqs, nothing. So instead of looking at the reasons that there is racial disparity in the accelerated classes, they just dump in all the kids together and figure they’ll all be fine in the end.
Anon
I think that we must be in the same school system. And it is happening in math, which is cruelly cumulative. So if you didn’t understand 5th-7th grade math, which is understandable since they were largely or mostly via zoom, it’s understandable that you won’t understand 8th grade math. And my district lets those 8th graders take high school math in 8th grade if they want. If you haven’t done well in math since elementary school, this seems to be a set-up for failure and thinking you’re bad at math. The reality is, if you had some intensive live tutoring, you might be able to overcome prior deficits and do well and be happy. This is like throwing a kid who can’t swim into the ocean and saying “equity” as they drown. It’s really not right and IDK how these kids will be prepared for careers or for college.
Seventh Sister
I don’t really think the district actually wants to keep locals – they’d rather we shuffle off to private or a charter. Honestly, I feel cheated and would have explored other options for high school if I’d known that they were going to pursue curriculum changes that would actively harm my kids’ ability to get into college.
Nesprin
If your kid is going to a 4 yr school, you should put your kid in the AP options, so they’d be in with their peers and take classes that are more likely to be transferable . An associates will probably not help getting college done faster unless your kid knows exactly what they want to major in and miraculously don’t change their mind (If your local cc system has good transferrability to your state schools that would be the one exception, but adding in increased transit time, being in a mixed class at a cc vs. a high school class would probably not be great unless your kid is exceptionally mature.)
Anon
Dual enrollment won’t jeopardize a student’s first-time-in-college status when they go on to university. It can give them enough credits to pursue a dual degree, or get finish a five year one like engineering, accounting, architecture and the like in 4, even if they don’t leave HS with an AA.
I’m an old, and even 30 years ago, “honors” classes were a sort of middle child at my high school. AP classes boosted your GPA more and could get you actual college credit (They were very rigorous at my HS – the exam was easy to pass based on what our teachers put us through). Honors didn’t do any of that, and didn’t really have anything else that set it apart from the more general track.
AnonMom
Late response but in case you are still reading, check that dial-enrollment program very carefully before opting for that route over AP classes. In our district it sounds great, take 5 years to get both your HS diploma and a paid-for Associates degree from the local CC, but the only classes offered through the program were so very, very basic as to be useless for anyone looking to go on to something that wasn’t a factory floor job. Like, it was not even a step up from a GED. The CC did not allow students in this program to enroll in anything outside of the generic intro courses regardless of academic ability. You technically got enough credits to leave with an AA degree, but the specific credential doesn’t check enough boxes to get those students into a 4 year school without taking at least a full year of remedial 100- and 200-level classes to get up to speed.
Anna
I did college classes in high school that were offered as dual-credit. Mine were largely online, with a few in person at the high school. Didn’t get an AA, just the courses. It was hugely beneficial. I went to the University of Minnesota, which accepted all the courses as transfers and still recognized me as a freshman. All the credits let me graduated in 3 years vs 4 and thus debt free (financial aid was getting less and less each year…).
Anon
Can anyone explain to me why when browsing the internet for non work-related stuff I vastly prefer using my iPhone to my laptop? I feel more engaged on my phone. My eyes get tired and I start to lose interest on my laptop. I use f.lux. Maybe I should try an iPad?
Anon
Idk but I’m the same.
Anon
iPad mini is the best. Made for internet scrolling and reading.
Anonymous
If you’re packing for multiple people (i.e. kids), what’s your packing routine?
Anon
For most trips, each person has their own carry on suitcase.
SMC-San Diego
How old are the kids? Are you going to a cold weather destination? Flying (domestic or international) or driving?
I traveled a lot with kid and have thoughts but it varies depending on your answers to those questions.
Anon
I made my kids pack for themselves from a very young age. I then asked them if they had x pairs of underwear, x pairs of socks, and how many tops and bottoms they packed. Pajamas? Toothbrush? Something warm like a hoodie no matter how hot they though it’d be. Something to wear out to dinner. A swimsuit and goggles if applicable. Did they need shoes other than the ones on their feet?
I had sort of a mental checklist for it. But I made them responsible for the actual selection of items and packing. They each had their own smaller sized roller suitcase.
Cat
Pack 2 days’ worth of clothing, toiletries, and essentials in a carryon. Whether the rest of the stuff also gets carried on or checked depends on the length of the trip and the weather.
Anon
I only have one but travel solo with her a ton. My kid is almost 5. We each take a backpack and a carryon. We haven’t checked a suitcase since we got done with diapers, but we also rarely travel for more than a week at a time. If we went somewhere for two weeks we might need to check a suitcase. In the last six months she’s gotten pretty good at handling her own stuff but before that I would roll both suitcases. Spinner wheels are key so you can push one in each hand.
Advent calendar for cats
For all the cat lovers on here, Trader Joe’s has an advent calendar for cats. You open up a treat for them each night. My husband, who treats our cat like his son, was THRILLED when I brought it home.
Anon
My two brother cats loved this last year. My husband just brought home this years’ version!
Anon 2.0
I need some advice on a situation that is hypothetical but has a good chance of arising during Thanksgiving. First, let me give you some contextual details. I am the host of Thanksgiving but all guests are DH’s family/extended family as my family is out of state and we are not traveling this year, but I generally get along very well with them (expect the one in this story). DH’s BIL is “a piece of work” as my grandma would say. He has a myriad of issues I won’t get into. To make a long story short, the BIL has told his young teen son that is is NOT ALLOWED to eat much food on Thanksgiving. Why? Because he “needs” to cut weight for a wrestling match. Yes, my jaw hit the floor when I heard this. He is already thin and going thru puberty.
So, here is my dilemma – what do I do if everyone gets to my house, is munching away on appetizers and waiting for dinner, and a-hole tells his kid he can’t eat? I am not afraid of a little confrontation and I want to make it ABUNDANTLY clear that I will not allow that in my home. He is not welcome to come into my home on a holiday and basically tell his child that he must not partake of the food everyone else is eating. I feel that is this happens (and I am nearly certain it will) that by remaining silent on the issue it will appear I condone this behavior which I find completely abhorrent. I should add, the sport in itself is NOT a passion of the teen and is really the dad vicariously reminiscing his “glory days” thru his child. I don’t want to end up with a Thanksgiving ruckus, but I also want to find a way to shut it down. (And, fwiw, I am sure some people will feel this is not my business, but if you are in my home, it’s my business when you are mistreating someone.)
anonshmanon
Channel cheerful, effusive grandma. “Aaaw, let the boy eat, it’s Thanksgiving! Nephew, it’s a joy to see how much you love my green bean casserole!”
Vicky Austin
+1, this will force BIL’s hand to either shut up or bear down on being an a-hole. At which point I’d probably prefer my DH to step in in this instance and back me up.
NYCer
Is this your husband’s brother? If so, I would follow your husband’s lead on how he wants to handle this. [And if it were me, I would let it go.]
But it sounds like you want to say something, so by all means, go ahead. Just be aware that the other extended family members might not come to your defense, and it likely will cause a ruckus if BIL is a piece of work.
Anon 2.0
Thankfully is is my SIL’s husband.. Honestly, they are the type of family where everyone dislikes him and disapproves but don’t speak up. I like the other commenters idea of “cheerful grandma”. It gets my point across without causing chaos.
NYCer
Ah ok, then I agree that changes the dynamic. Cheerful grandma sounds like a plan!
Anonymous
I’d sneak him food in the kitchen if needed. I wouldn’t care what BIL thinks but I’d try to avoid drama for the sake of thanksgiving.
Gnat
This👆🏻
Anon
Yep, kiddo would definitely be tasked with “helping me wash up” while everyone is zonked out in front of the tv.
Anonymous
Yes, and also if this guy is that big a glassbowl, if you embarass him he is likely to take it out on the kid when they get home.
Anon
Your proposed approach is going to be mortifying for nephew and nothing you can say or do will keep him from facing consequences once he leaves your house. You can say ONCE “oh, its Thanksgiving” but the best solution will be to provide some healthy options that are relatively low calorie. Because otherwise you are setting this poor kid up for a very unpleasant confrontation the minute they walk out the door.
My mother was like this and every effort my family made to intervene in her presence just made it much, much worse.
Anon
This is right. You can’t help the kid having a terrible father. But you can make it worse for the kid by saying something.
Anon 2.0
This is a good point and something I need to consider. As much as a I don’t like BIL’s actions, I absolutely do not want to make it worse on the nephew whom I adore.
Nora
I like the idea of inviting him to the kitchen to “wash up” or somewhere else out of the view of dad where all the food is.
Anon
This is the unfortunate reality – he might be shamed and belittled as soon as they get into the car to go home.
Anon
I really appreciate your last sentence – you don’t happen to want to explain this to my MIL and FIL? They seem to have no concept of “treat people with respect under my roof.”
To that end, if BIL starts in on nephew, I would actually pull BIL aside and say something to the effect of: everything I put out is reasonably healthy and appropriate for any of my guests to eat. Parent the way you want normally, but under my roof, in my home, on a holiday I am hosting, everyone is free to partake of the food that is offered. Nephew is our guest and the food is for him, too.
Anon
I think those who food and body shame others get a first class ticket to hell. That said, I have a child who plays a very competitive, high level sport. Luckily not one where your weight is a determining factor if you can participate or not.
If your nephew misses making weight for a wrestling tournament that could send him to a state championship/D1 college opportunity or scholarship, etc, I humbly ask you to sit down and say nothing.
Anonymous
Along these lines, I absolutely think it’s fair to say something to anyone in your home (Thanksgiving or otherwise) about food policing, weight, etc. I think it impacts my kids and thus I will shut that ish down. But, I think by saying anything other than the initial “cheerful Grandma” comment noted above, you’re actually getting right into that yourself. You can no more push food than allow someone to withhold food.
Anonymous
So you’re against good and body shaming but not in this case?
Anon
Wow, what a terrible take.
The issue here is the dad bullying the kid about making weight. If the kid is independently motivated to cut weight and doesn’t want to eat as a result of that, that’s the kid’s choice and I would not say anything about it. It is never, ever okay for an adult to shame or berate a child about eating or not eating, especially in front of other people. If that happened in front of me, I would absolutely say something.
Also, I know sportsball is really really important for some people but just want to say, if you think it’s okay for you to berate or shame your child about their weight, conditioning, athletic performance (or lack thereof), I hope you’re saving for therapy bills and a nursing home because your kid will likely not see it as “but I was just pushing you to be your best!” when they get older. Don’t live vicariously through your child.
Anon
+1 million
Also will add: very very few kids get DI scholarships. Very few are even good enough for a D-III coach to recommend them for admission. Do not sacrifice on that altar.
Trish
What do you hope to accomplish other than virtue signaling? My son was in wrestling and he often reduced calories to make weight. He loved wrestling and it was his choice. One of the other wrestlers was on the team due to Dad’s influence and she was eventully put in foster care due to the ongoing abuse. If you think BIL is abusing the boy, call children and family services asap! Are you willing to foster? If it is about just wanting everyone to eat on Thanksgiving, I would think twice about embarrasing the kid and causing a ruckus.
anonshmanon
OP said that the boy is not into wrestling and that BIL is a douchebag. Why do you assume she is mistaken or virtue signaling?
If the boy wants to restrict calories then this situation won’t come up either way.
Trish
Because she is only concerned about what happens in HER home. The boy is being abused and, apparently, when that happens at the boy’s house, that’s okay.
anonshmanon
so a minute ago you said it’s probably fine because when you really are into wrestling then you’d happily restrict your eating, and now the boy is being abused? I’m getting the sense that your priority is making OP feel bad here.
Trish
Ashamom, maybe you want to go back and read what I wrote. NEVER said it was probably fine. What I said was MY son voluntarily cut weight for wrestling. But his good friend was in wrestling at her father’s behest and she was being abused to the point that she was place in foster care. If OP is concerned, she really should step up and make sure the kid gets out of what is an abusive home. Making a comment at Thanksgiving won’t help the kid even if it makes her feel bettter.
Anon
Basically every male on my mom’s side of the family wrestled: my brother, 3 of my cousins, my uncles, and my grandfather were all college wrestlers and 2 other cousins stopped after high school and several went on to be high school wrestling coaches, so I’m well accustomed to cutting to make weight and relatives barely eating at winter holidays. They all loved it though. It’d not work cutting weight, having grueling practices and long tournaments if you don’t love it (I’m a former rower… not sure what my family loves so much about miserable sports!). If your nephew doesn’t love it, then it’s not worth cutting weight and he should quit.
If he has a match or a tournament and doesn’t make weight he can really screw over his team, so if he’s going to be involved With the team he should make every effort to make weight.
Anon
Your BIL sounds like a jerk but I don’t think it’s your place to say anything. If he tells you or your kids (if you have kids) to eat less, then definitely tell him off. But he gets to parent his kid even if you don’t like how he does it. If you want to uninvite him to Thanksgiving over this I guess it’s your choice but it seems very dramatic to me.
Walnut
Since your heart is with your nephew here, maybe text him in advance and ask what food he’s okay to eat on Thanksgiving and have plenty of variety. Maybe also have something for him to do that doesn’t involve loitering around the dinner table.
My brothers wrestled and did plenty of this sort of thing (their decision). Choosing a weight class is a strategic decision, so maybe engage with your nephew one on one to understand his goals.
Anon
I have an ancient pair of cowboy boots with a cushioned footbed. I have work them to pieces, literally. What is a good boot brand to look at for a replacement? There is a Tecovas store in my city and several in-person boot stores (I live in a city, but it gets rural fast if you drive out 15 miles with farms and people who own horses). I have a pair of Fryes that I like but they have a hard footbed. If it matters: I have triangle-shaped duck feet (narrow heel, ball of foot is wider but not quite wide width) with high arches. I wear boots with dresses/skirts and boot-cut jeans, cords, and pants (and this is OK in my office except for formal-meeting days). Thanks!
Anon
I can’t speak to a cushioned footbed, but my cowboy-boot-wearing friends are all nuts over their Luccheses. I concur on the Fryes being very tough – I’ve had the same pair of harness boots for nearly 2 decades and they still aren’t soft or broken in!
Anon
Oh, I didn’t need to know that these existed. Why do I like the ones that cost 4 figures?!
Anon
They’re so beautiful, but they will cost you. However, my relatives who love their Luccheses have had some pairs for years – if you don’t buy a fragile skin, they last a really long time.
Anonymous
I love my Tecovas. And Old Gringos. I think Frye cowboy boots are too stiff.
Anonymous
I have feet shaped like yours and a wide calf, and Justins in a wide size fit me well and are comfortable. I found Luccheses narrower in both the foot and the calf.
Anon
Comment in purgatory, but Justins.
Anon
My comment never came back, so
I have a wide forefoot but don’t usually wear wide sizes. I also have fussy feet with a high instep that makes it difficult to get my foot I to lots of pull on boots. The boots that ended up fitting me best were Justins in a wide width, which is what enabled me to get my foot into it, and I find them very comfy.
I also drooled over Luccheses, but I found them extra narrrow.
NYNY
I have duck feet and agree on Justins – I used to have a gorgeous pair of dark green Justins that were amazingly comfortable and no trouble getting my high insteps in and out of. I have coveted Rocketbusters from afar, but never tried them on because I didn’t want to fall in love with a 4-figure boot.
Anonymous
It sounds like you might have really good success going to one of those boot stores, with your current pair, and asking a salesperson to help you find something with similar qualities. They should be super familiar with the lines they carry and be able to help you try on stuff. I don’t know why I have the impression that the people who work at a store specifically selling cowboy boots would be VERY happy to be helping someone with a request like this, but I do.
Explorette
I dream of Tecovas, they are so pretty and well made but they are very narrow. I have duck feet like yours, and I couldn’t even take three steps in them without a lot of pain. I like my Ariats, they are very comfy and have some really cute styles.
anon
Similar shaped feet and I’ve had good luck with Old Gringo boots, but all have a hard footbed that you could (but I have not) put an insole in. Shafts run small, so I’d do below the calf height if that’s a concern. I’ve also bought a lot of Liberty Black novelty cowboy boots over the years, especially the short height ones to wear with jeans. Bonus of the shorties is they don’t take up as much room to store.
Anonymous
Anyone else struggling with car repairs lately? My transmission warning light came on, I got it to a dealer, and they are estimating 6-8 weeks just for a diagnosis. Then it’ll be a question of whether or not they have parts and staffing. I am shocked.
Anon
My niece’s car was dented in a parking garage. It was a 9 week wait to get it into a repair shop, and then about 4 months for the proper part to come in, and then some other delay. It’s just so slow for every thing, between worker shortages and supply chain issues.
Anon
Ugh, my daughter’s car door was just dented by a kid on one of those one wheel motorized things this weekend. I’m sure it’s going to take forever to work out the insurance on that, much less the repairs.
Anon
Sounds about right. I scheduled my normal repairs three weeks out.
The new car shortage means that the used car market has gone crazy. With both new and used vehicles being expensive and in short supply, people are repairing cars that would normally be headed to the scrap yard. That causes backups at mechanics and shortages of replacement parts. My independent mechanic had four engine replacements in a week, and I schedule in three weeks in advance.
Practical advice: get an OBD-II and scan it yourself.
Anon
Sounds about right.
I’ve been trying to order contacts and it’s taken my optometrist 3.5 months just to get the samples.
Bread
Has anyone used the Zingerman’s bread club? I saw that Cup of Jo linked to it today and I am thinking about it for a gift for a relative. Wondering if the bread is good and how it was in a delivery (it comes frozen)…
hair
Yes, I got it for my brother one year. He loved it! He lives in Brooklyn and is a harsh critic. The bread was very good. Honestly, I don’t remember the details of the delivery. I know I called Zingerman’s ahead of time and asked a bunch of questions. Good quality. I remember I thought it was pretty pricey, but again – my brother loved it.
OP
Thank you for this input! Going to try it!
Anon
I have a dumb question…I have several bottles of Prosecco and a case of white claw that has been refrigerated and unrefrigerated a few times. I bought cold, then moved with the items, put them in my new fridge, and then moved them to a cupboard for reasons. This was over the summer. Are they still going to taste okay? Especially the white claw?
Anon
Open one and test it out
Vicky Austin
I think as long as they didn’t freeze at any point, you should be all right. (Source: once left a 12 pack of ginger ale in my car…in our uninsulated garage…in North Dakota…in January…it was not all right.)
Unchilled white claw will probably not taste great, though that’s a matter of preference. ;)
anon
We have a small fridge so I’m constantly moving drinks in and out to make room for food, and they’ve always tasted fine.
Senior Attorney
Same here.
Anonymous
The white claw will not taste okay, but that won’t be because of the temperature fluctuations.
Anonymous Canadian
Hahahaha. No shade to white claw lovers. But hahhahaha
anon
This may give away my identity but whatever. I have my egg retrieval on Friday. They haven’t told me what time yet. Saturday night I have a long-haul flight that I cannot change. The stim process took longer than we anticipated. Luckily I’m in business class with individual “pods” so I’ll be more comfortable than if I was in economy.
I haven’t packed yet but I’m also not doing anything for Turkey day.
I feel like I need a pep talk and suggestions for making this easier.
Anonymous
Ugh you’ll be going under general anesthesia, right? When I froze my eggs I felt woozy until that night. I think my retrieval was around 10am. If you have any say in the timing of the retrieval, I’d ask for as early as possible and hydrate as much as possible.
Anonymous
Wait they put you under general anesthesia for egg retrieval??? Why does everyone act like getting your eggs frozen is nbd?
Anon
I don’t think people act like it’s nbd? It’s very expensive and can be very hard on your body.
pugsnbourbon
I don’t have any suggestions for the flight, but I hope all goes well with the retrieval! I’m glad you’ll be in business class.
Anon
+1 business class travel in a pod is almost as good as being home in bed. The airport experience will still suck but hopefully you have TSA pre and Clear so you can scoot around the hoi polloi
Anon
I kind of prefer them to my bed! It’s so cozy in the little pod haha
Anonymous
You’ll be fine even if they do the retrieval Saturday morning. You’ll feel better than you do now once the eggs are all out! The anesthesia doesn’t take long to wear off at all.
Curious
+1, getting them out makes it so much better.
anon
I was absolutely fine the next day and I don’t do well with anesthesia, FWIW.
Aunt Jamesina
You can do it!I got very c0nstipated from my retrievals between the hormones and narcotics, so I would have stuff to deal with that on hand just in case. Fingers crossed for you!
Peloton
You should be fine but you should tell your clinic. I’d want to know in advance what I should do if OHSS started to develop, but my guess is you’d be fine.
Good luck!!!
Senior Attorney
Thank goodness for business class! Best of luck!!
anon
I’ve had three egg retrievals and each time, I felt pretty awful the day of retrieval, but almost 100% back to normal the next day. Certainly by the next night, I would expect that you would be near normal. Good luck! Fingers crossed for lots of healthy eggs!
Another anon
I felt much better the day after my retrieval (and honestly even a couple of hours after the procedure). The procedure itself was not bad for me either. The last couple of days were uncomfortable ahead of the procedure. Sending you best of luck!
Anonanonanon
This is super late, but best wishes on your retrieval. I agree with everyone else that I was fine the next day. But do talk to you doc about it and monitor symptoms. I came down with a pretty bad case of OHSS a week after retrieval. It’s supposedly rare but I would just keep an eye out for any long lasting symptoms. A flight right after retrieval is something I would discuss with your RE regardless, as they may have thoughts.
Anon
I purchased the JCrew ponte suit recently including the blazer (which I think I love) and these Demi-boot ponte pants that are now sold out: https://www.jcrew.com/p/BL701?mode=edit&N=6&NUM_ITEMS=1&cartId=4eaf31a2a41e90a9b95a0e0647&color_name=black
I love everything about the suit after trying it on except I am 5’6.25″ in height and these pants are “cropped” per the description. They are not quite ankle length, but short enough to feel awkward. I have never worn pants like these, so am not sure if I should keep them or what shoes to wear with them. I live in the cold Midwest so would have to be closed-toed for professional and temperature purposes. Thoughts?
AIMS
So the regular J Crew web—- shows this kind of suit with ankle strap sandals which isn’t too helpful. I would try a low block heeled pump or a bootie.
Anon
Thank you. Is this type of suit even “in style” as it is too close to “ankle length”? I can’t decide if I should keep or return ha. JCrew has other ponte pants, but nothing much better as there is a flare version which is a bit much.
Anon
And now I want those pants, and they are, indeed, sold out.
Senior Attorney
It is my firmly held conviction that nobody knows what lenght pants are supposed to be any more, so just wear them if you love them.
Anonymous
I would return them if you don’t love them. But it does seem like almost any hem length is acceptable these days, so I wouldn’t worry about it if you do love them.
Also, why on earth did they use a model where the pants look normal length when their inseam is only 27 and 1/2 in? Sigh.