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Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anomanom
Has anyone on here done group travel through companies like flashback or gadventures? I have a chunk of time coming up for which my original plans fell through and there are a few trips that I’m not totally confident to try to do solo that might work in the time frame I have available. Curious if anyone has done some travel through a group they would recommend. I honestly kinda prefer guest houses to nice hotels, so luxury is not my concern as much as getting to see all the things.
Panda Bear
I’m not familiar with those companies, but I’ve done a couple of group cycling trips through a company called Exodus – both were great. I think they also do walking tours, but generally it’s more of an outdoorsy/adventure theme. Overall, I would say what I loved about it being a group tour was what you alluded to – I could go to places that might have been challenging alone, and experience an itinerary that I would never have been able to coordinate myself.
LLBMBA
I have friends who have travelled with Gadventures and LOVE them. No personal experience, but I wouldn’t hesitate based on their review.
DCR
I’ve done trips through gadventures and intrepid, but have not heard of flashback. I’ve used them to go places where I either can’t or don’t feel safe going alone, and I loved all my trips with gadvenetures and intrepid. They tend to be structured in such a way that you have free time to explore and do your own thing if you are in cities, but don’t have to worry about moving between locations/hotels and also have a group to do active things with if you are in nature (depending on the trip, this type of activity more or may not be part of the trip). It also provides more flexibility then your standard tour. Both g and intrepid try to use local businesses, so I’ve stayed on many a guest house with the tours and tried many local restaurants.
I highly recommend them. It is not the trip for everyone, but given my desire to travel to more remote places and the fact that I don’t have some one to travel with, it has been a great option for me.
Atlien
+1 Gap (now gadventures) and Intrepid. Great experiences with both! Did middle east w/ Intrepid and Gap in Thailand. I’ve also done Contiki in NZ. None of these stayed in “nice” hotels, but IIRC there are different levels of trip to choose from, and I chose toward the budget/adventure side.
Nati
I travelled for four weeks in Peru with G Adventures. I highly recommend it! To a certain extent, I think you are at the mercy of the group you happen to get for your trip. I was alone, so the fact that my group was all awesome really made a difference. Everything arranged by G was excellent.
Irish Midori
Check out GirlsLOVEtravel. It’s a nifty group of women who hang together and sometimes do organized trips. Recently did a couple expeditions to Antarctica! They are in Kenya right now, and I’m living vicariously.
Anon
I love to travel solo to certain countries but if I was going to South America I would want a group. The only negative I heard about those tour groups is you’re paying a lot more than if you planned it on your own.
Anonny
Have only ever traveled Intrepid for group tours, and I’d highly recommend them. I did a two-week tour from Croatia down to Greece that included coastal cities, inland cities, islands, and mainland Greece. We stayed in guest house and small hotel-type accommodations and traveled by a small private bus. It was a group of ~10-12 from mostly English speaking countries that was 90% female and a real mix of ages (19~60), but people all got along well and had opportunities to do optional activities/excursions in smaller groups or solo. Was super thankful to be on a guided tour through Montenegro and Albania in particular, as these countries didn’t have well developed tourism industries when I visited about 10 years ago. Having someone that knew the routes, restaurants, local customs, access to local guides, etc. was invaluable, particularly when my suitcase didn’t show up for 2 weeks!
First phones for middle schoolers?
This dress is what I’d wear to Wimbledon if I went to Wimbledon (le sigh).
I ask you, kind internet strangers, because I am in BigLaw and am the only female attorney who has lasted this long (so no peers to ask, my friends either have kids in college or in diapers, we are in no-man’s land it seems).
Kid 1 is about to go to middle school, at a different campus and with a different bell schedule than Kid 2, who will join the next year. I am OK with the idea of them having a phone for calling and texting since they will be waiting for rides after activities, etc., and not getting picked up from an on-site after school anymore in middle school (or maybe going home with a friend this day and to an activity that day). The coordination burden will be high. Plus, they like texting on my phone.
I am not sure I want more than that capability on their first phone. What do you all do (or understand people to do)? Is there something like a Jitterbug for kids that doesn’t do a whole lot? Or is this where they get Gizmo watches (which I think let you call/text 4 people? A doctor friend has one for her elementary school kids but she works overnights, husband travels for work, and they want to make sure the kids can always reach their nanny or one of them if there is a snafu with pickups / coverage).
Thanks!
Anonymous
My nine-year-old niece’s parents just went the Gizmo watch route because next year she’ll be home alone for an hour or two after getting off the school bus. So far they’re all pretty pleased, but of course it hasn’t been put to the purpose for which it was intended yet. (Unless the true purpose for which it was intended was the allow Niece to text cat emojis to everyone in her contact list. In which case, all is well.)
NOLA
This is exactly what my friend has done with her kids. They are very happy with Gizmo watches. It tells them then the child has arrived at home and, I believe, even tracks where they are (which was helpful when their dad took them on a trip and mom wanted to monitor). It allows them to send very limited texts.
Anonymous
My kids are tiny so no direct advice, but I’d try posting this on the moms board as there are several commenters there that don’t frequent this main $ite. Same as this $ite but with moms at the end of the address. Good luck!
Anon
I would definitely get a basic dumb phone for your kids. If you get them a smart phone, their phone usage will skyrocket and they will experience many of the social pitfalls associated with social media at that vulnerable age (loneliness, FOMO, pressure to share inappropriate photos, etc). It will also affect their attention spans and working memories. I know people will jump on me for saying this, but it’s sad to see 12-year-olds so glued to the phone that they can’t look you in the eye and greet you or participate in an adult conversation. Keep the dumb phone forever!
Z
I had a dumb flip phone from 6th grade through the end of 9th grade. My parents also had texting disabled, so I could only call. I did feel like I was missing out especially as I got into high school and still didn’t have texting, but that was fine.
Anonymous
How old are you?
Z
I’m mid-20’s. So this was about 10-12 years ago.
MagicUnicorn
We got an older iphone for our 13 year old, and the native screen time settings have been enough that we are able to grant access to the necessary things (phone, texting) and minimize or block access to others (limited web browsing time and limited website access, can’t turn on cellular data, can’t allow apps to have camera access, must ask to download apps, etc.). We can also set overall time limits by app or in total per day.
We opted to go this route since DH is hard on devices and we figured this could be a backup device for him if needed (it has not been needed), and if not it could grow with our teenager (it has). This has worked for us.
Anonymous
“I would definitely get a basic dumb phone for your kids. If you get them a smart phone, their phone usage will skyrocket and they will experience many of the social pitfalls associated with social media at that vulnerable age (loneliness, FOMO, pressure to share inappropriate photos, etc). It will also affect their attention spans and working memories. I know people will jump on me for saying this, but it’s sad to see 12-year-olds so glued to the phone that they can’t look you in the eye and greet you or participate in an adult conversation. Keep the dumb phone forever!”
Are you saying this because you are a parent and this has been your experience, or because you are not a parent but you have opinions on what kids should do/are like based on what you see in the news?
I am an actual parent of an actual 13-year-old boy. He has had a phone for 2 years (we just gave him an old one of ours) because, yes, once kids hit middle school travel coordination becomes challenging. They also start going on more far-away and long-term field trips and we wanted to make sure he had a way of contacting us if necessary. He had literally only texted myself, my husband, and his uncle before this summer. Now, going into 8th grade, texting is more of “a thing” but he’s not necessarily glued to his phone. He’s also not on any social media (and honestly, right now he and most of his friends have no desire to be on social media; they’ve seen how using it backfires on people enormously). How do we know? We have parental control apps on his phone and on our home wifi and we also look at his phone every other day. We take the time to parent and be involved rather than just sticking our heads in the sand and hoping we don’t have to spend time working on the problem.
Like it or not, kids are growing up in a digital world. The kids he goes to school with who didn’t grow up with TV, phones, computers, video games or tablets because their sanctimonious parents thought it was “better” are really struggling socially because they literally have nothing in common with other kids and no common frame of reference. Kids going into late middle school and high school will miss out on things if their friends can’t contact them in some way besides a home phone or Mom’s phone. Active parenting and appropriate limits, along with honest, ongoing dialogue about have worked for us better than complete technophobia and tech avoidance. Something to consider.
Anonymous
Judgy much? Why does your kid need a way to contact you on a field trip – there are chaperones, yes? That wasn’t a necessity growing up; it isn’t now.
Anon
Yes, and when I was their age I had to walk to school up hill both ways in five feet of snow because our planet wasn’t dying yet. But times change.
Anon
Anon at 1:12, what a strawman.
Anonymous
I’m going to ask the question again because you keep avoiding it:
Are you a parent?
How old are your kids?
Are you dealing with this issue in a real way in your real life in some way, as the parent, guardian or supervisor of a child? Are you a teacher, child psychologist or pediatrician?
Please, give me some reason to lend any credibility or credence to what you’re saying, other than you are A Person on the Internet With an Opinion. That and $5 will get you a cup of coffee, hon.
Anonymous
I’m a different Anon. So there are a few of us out here who think you’re acting pretty defensive for someone who purports to be very confident about this. . .
RR
I think this response is a bit out of proportion to the comment. We all make the best parenting choices we can given our kids and what we feel comfortable with.
In order to “qualify” myself to respond to your post: I am a parent of 3. My older two are 11 1/2 and going into middle school. I am dealing with this issue in a real way in my real life as a parent. I don’t call other posters “hon” because that’s ridiculously patronizing.
We have not gotten our older two phones yet. It’s not because I don’t think they’d be responsible or that I could effectively parent and monitor phone use. They have Amazon Fires, school laptops/iPads, use of family iPads, etc. We just haven’t been ready to jump on the slippery slope of phone usage and all the attendant costs and headaches. Once we jump on that bandwagon, we are basically committing forever. So, we are being very deliberate about when that happens. I suspect we will take that step when they turn 12, which will be halfway through 6th grade. I feel that we will probably survive until then.
There’s this thing parents do sometimes when they want to feel secure about their choices–they get very defensive and judgmental about other people’s choices. It’s okay to make the choices you think are best as a parent, even if others disagree. We are allowed to disagree about phone use without any of us being bad parents.
All that said, great question OP. This is a timely discussion for me, and I am interested in the different options.
anon8
This question makes me feel old because I had to call my parents from a pay phone when I was ready to be picked up after school.
I don’t have kids, but I agree with the poster above about getting just a basic phone for your kids. I experience some of the loneliness and FOMO seeing stuff on FB and IG as an adult. I look back to my time in middle and high school and I’m sure it would have been worse having access to social media on my phone.
Anonymous
I grew up in a small walkable town, so I get how calling collect worked for me when I didn’t have a quarter. But now there aren’t even pay phones. And I live in a big city where stuff is walkable only in-neighborhood (and the schools are > 4 miles on the other side of an interstate).
I’ve thought of using those cheap burner phones but maybe something where you can set hard limits on the device would let them reach out if plans fell through.
Anonymous
Ah, kids today will never understand the “You have a call from ‘Himommovie’sovercomepickmeup’; will you accept the charges?” reference.
Wanderlust
“Bob wehadababyitsaboy” is one of the best commercials ever.
Anon
Kids don’t really call. They text or better yet SnapChat. So I would get them phones with those capabilities at least.
Anon
I wouldn’t if this is a device meant to serve as a safety mechanism. That’s the fast track to constant phone usage.
Anon
I guess there are degrees of being a a Luddite. But smart phones for teens are basically necessities in the current world. I’d rather they start early and learn good habits from me.
Anon
LOL no. They’re literally not.
Irish Midori
I actually agree with this comment. It took my elementary age son pleading for a phone for me to realize we were setting a bad example by staring at our phones too much at home. Phones are a fact of life, so early good habits may be the way to go.
Not that I gave in and bought him a smartphone just yet. But I’m more open to doing it in middle school than I was.
Anonymous
“LOL no. They’re literally not.”
Yes, they are. Do you have kids? Do you have kids that are between the ages of 10 and 18? If not, please kindly have a seat over there -> and let the people who are really dealing with this problem in the real world in real time have a discussion. Thanks so much!
Anon
They literally are. All high school assignments and grading are done on the Internet. You’re expected to be able to access this at any time. I have two kids in high school. This is just how it is.
When electricity was introduced there were also fears that it was unhealthy or even witchcraft. But we all turn the lights in and off without a second through now.
Society has evolved to the point that we are all expected to have a computer/internet access on our persons at all times. If you think this isn’t a reality you have your head in the sand. (And this is also why conservatives screaming about poor people having iPhones is such a canard – they literally can’t apply for a job without one)
Inspired by Hermione
Yes, phones are a necessity. I work with very, very low income clients and it drives me insane when people say “Well they’d have money if they didn’t spend so much time/money/whatever on that fancy phone, I can’t even afford a phone like that!”
My clients do not have iPhone XRs. They have cheap smart phones that they load minutes and data onto. It’s often the only way they access the internet unless they want to go to the library (which may not have hours they can go to if they are already working one job, or they don’t feel comfortable going there, or they have PTSD and the often small, quiet library environment is stressful).. It’s sometimes, for my homeless clients, their ONLY means of (somewhat) reliable communication. They apply for jobs, review documents I send them, call and text with social service providers, and otherwise rely on it to stay at least somewhat connected with the world. People who say “they shouldn’t have that” very, very clearly have no experience with how much of a lifeline smart phones can be to low-income and very-low-income adults who need to survive in the world.
Anon
Yes, internet access is required for high school homework. That is very true these days (for better or for worse). It is not true that that means teens *must* have their own personal smartphones on their person “at any time.” Your kid is not going to flunk algebra if he uploads his assignments from a laptop or a family desktop instead.
It’s also intellectually dishonest to pretend that people being interested in the research and evidence about the harms of smartphone usage in kids/teens are equivalent to “but electricity was scary once too!!!!” That would only be analogous if use of electricity conferred its current benefits, but also high rates of anxiety, depression, inability to concentrate, irritability, obesity, and sleep disturbance. Electricity is also essential to the modern world and even life-saving for many people (air conditioning during heat waves, powering medical devices, etc.) whereas smartphones are a luxury item. In merely 12 years, we’ve gone from them being a cool toy to being “indispensable” – what a win for Apple and Android phones!
Anonymous
” but also high rates of anxiety, depression, inability to concentrate, irritability, obesity, and sleep disturbance.”
Hysterical Hannah, please cut it with this sh*t. If you are terrified of phones and technology (which I’m assuming you can’t be totally because…you are posting on the Internet…from what I assume is a phone or computer? Nice hypocrisy) that’s fine. The rest of us don’t have to live in the fantasy world you’ve created for yourself and are hiding inside. I also haven’t heard you assert “I have kids and this is what we are experiencing.” Unless you are a pediatrician or child psychologist, if you don’t have kids, in regards to this issue you are just some other person on the Internet with an opinion. Whoopdy do! You know what they say about opinions and something else everyone has…which is what you’re being right now. Take a Xanax or something, and have a Coke and a smile while you’re at it.
Anon
Talk to me when you have kids in high school.
Anon
Omg, you need to chill. Just because you’re defensive about your kids’ screentime doesn’t mean everyone with a different opinion is “hysterical” or that people are “terrified” about technology. Maybe you should try meditation or (gasp) unplugging to see if it helps you with your rages and poor impulse control.
780
I don’t have kids that old yet, but based on my nieces, it seems at least in their city/social circle, that most kids had smart phones by middle school. My only concern, which may or may not bother you, is that your kid may be left out of some social activity/social life if everyone else has smart phones and is using an app as opposed to text messaging to communicate or if her phone is not sophisticated enough to let her participate in group chats.
Can you ask around to your kid’s friends’ parents? To the extent you care about them fitting in (which I realize not every parent does), the relevant peer group is what your kid’s friends have.
Anon
My brother and sister that age both have smartphones through one of the cheap pre-pay mobile services (I think they have Republic Wireless, but there’s also Mint and a few others that work with different cell providers). They don’t have data plans, just the $5 or $10 unlimited calling and texting plan, and my parents have their phones set up with parental controls so that some apps like social media are completely blocked, some like video calling apps are unblocked only on the home wifi on evenings and weekends (so they can call far-away family but can’t be on it late at night or on the school wifi), and the apps they might need in an emergency are available all the time.
This works really well for them because permissions can be scaled up or down easily and the device can essentially be a dumbphone at school but a functional smartphone when they’re home and supervised. My parents said it was cheaper than going with an actual dumb phone and it allows them to participate in family group texts and receive MMS messages, which some dumb phones cannot do.
Anonymous
I’m going to go against the grain here. I’m assuming middle school is 6th grade. I think you could easily give your 6th grader a dumb phone or a Gizmo, but she’s going to outgrow it very quickly. My Boston neighborhood is “behind” when it comes to technology for kids, and even here it’s more the norm for kids to have smart phones by 7th grade (hand me downs from parents) when they start taking public transportation to school. If you decide as a family that you don’t want your kid to have a smart phone at all — or maybe not until high school– you’ll likely be making a decision that’s out of step with her peers. That’s totally fine if that’s what you want to do! I’m just giving you a heads up in case you, like me, don’t feel that this is the hill you want to die on and would rather not spend money on a device you’re going to want to replace in short order. Fwiw, I asked my rising 6th grader if she’d rather have a gizmo or no phone at all, and she said no phone. She texts with her friends on her iPad when she’s at home, and most of her friends are likewise texting on iPads or other devices that are on wifi – no data plan.
I definitely have concerns about kids being nose down in their phones all the time, but I also feel as though I can teach my daughter good phone etiquette and help coach her about how to handle bullying or feeling left out, etc. I’m sure I’ll fail in many respects,but phones are a part of her social life whether she has one or not. She already understands the difference between reality and online highlight reel because she has friends whose moms have active facebook or instagram accounts. She literally sees the younger brother melting down just before the angelic ice cream pic is taken/posted.
Irish Midori
I’m slowing coming over to your side on this issue. I remember my aunt telling me she always had homemade cookies available to her kids, and set an example of moderation in food, in hopes of teaching them to have a healthy relationship with food. I think she’s right, and it’s worked well with her kids. Probably better than being super restrictive about when sweets are available and only delivering a cookie with a lecture about becoming “fat.” Maybe there’s an analogy to be drawn to technology.
cbackson
I do think part of the problem is that, if we’re honest, most of us adults don’t have healthy habits in terms of how we use our phones. I’m actually working very hard to cut back my smartphone usage, both for my own health but also because I hope to have kids and by the time I do, I want to be able to model good habits for them.
Anonattorney
This x100.
Anonymous
This x100.
Anon
+3
Anon
My middle schooler is now a high schooler and he started with my old iPhone and now has a regular new android phone. We started because of the issue with nanny and pickup coordination for sports and after school activities.
I like being able to track where he is and I echo what the other post said about the settings being enough to limit screen time. (There is also a good free app through Google for android devices that I like more.) He knows that he is being tracked, he knows that he has limits on his phone (and all devices) and it’s a non-issue for him. That said, he has no interest in social media.
My 7-year old has had my old iPhone with wifi only for about a year. She loves face timing me and texting me emojis. Most other things are blocked through the native software setting I enabled. I guess it’s a know-your-kids situation but mine get hand-me-down devices to start and understand that they will be tracked and limited (albeit less and less as they get older for the limits, but the tracking is a basic safety item that all of us have).
Anon
No judgment, but I’m curious how much screentime your 7-year-old has (including time FaceTiming/texting)?
Anon
Not entirely related, but this article was really interesting and has good tips for modeling good screentime usage for your kids:
“Her research has found a correlation between behavior problems and screen use by children and by their parents. By following families over time, her research has documented what she calls a “bi-directional flow” between parents’ screen use, kids’ screen use and kids’ emotional issues, whether tantrums and acting out, or conversely, becoming more withdrawn. In other words, the more kids act out, the more stressed parents get. The more stressed parents get, the more they turn to screens as a distraction — for themselves and for their kids. But, the more parents turn to screens, for themselves or their kids, the more their kids tend to act out.”
https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53992/how-parents-can-model-better-screen-time-behavior-for-their-kids
Architect
My girls are now 19 and 16. They both got phones when they started middle school. That was 6th grade. The oldest got a flip phone. The younger got an old iPhone. It’s super handy for the parents. They would text when they got on the bus and then again in the afternoon when they got home. I would get a phone where they can text for that reason. Their school did not allow phones in the classroom. So, phones had to go into their locker during the school day. Then in high school, phone usage is a problem in the classroom. Neither of my girls got their phones taken away by teachers. But it does happen. They have to learn at some point how to manage their usage. Agreed, that a lot of high school happens online. Technology is a reality for high school just like it is at the workplace. I wanted my kids to learn how to deal with it in high school. That has mostly worked. Some days are better than others. We were looking at phone usage last night…16 year old had the highest. But she was home all day yesterday. Everyone else was at work. So not surprising.
Anonymous
Has anyone tried doing a “no phones upstairs” rule with their kids? I’ve seen a few bloggers mention that – their kids are allowed to use some apps, like texting or Instagram, but only downstairs/in the family area connected to the charger. They can’t take phones to their room and use them for hours. That sounds intriguing to me but I’d be curious to hear more perspectives.
Anonymous
I’m a no phones in the bedrooms or at the table person. We have old school alarm clocks. And I miss how my blackberry could be told to shut off at night and turn on in the morning — phone curfew = good sleep hygiene.
Anon
I set the do not disturb on my phone overnight so it does sort of the same thing!
Anon
My 15 year old neighbor runs her own dog walking and pet sitting business so she has her own smart phone for us to call/text her on regarding scheduling/issues. We have mom’s number as a backup but love that we are interacting directly with her in the first instance.
Linked In
Do people know when you’ve declined their invitation to connect?
I am getting so much recruiter spam and random friend-of-friend invites (I don’t need to friend someone who is a makeup artist who lives 4 states away who knows someone I worked with 5 years ago; it might be awesome, but that seems to miss the point of LinkedIn). Also, random undergrads — OK to reach out, but are they supposed to be friending people on LinkedIn that they have yet to even meet???
CountC
If they aren’t people you want to connect with, does it matter? I only connect with people I want to and I leave the others in request purgatory.
Mpls
I also just leave them in purgatory (neither accepting nor rejecting). The invitation to connect expires after a while (I think).
Anonymous
This. If I don’t know you directly but have contacts in common, I leave you in purgatory. If I find your invite completely off-the-wall, I reject.
Anemone
It automatically expires after six months.
iPhone Issue
Is there a way to make your iPhone give an alert noise for calls and texts but not emails? Such a dumb question but I can’t figure it out…trying to reduce distractions during the work day
Anon
Settings, Notifications
You establish notifications by all. So Messages would have notifications on, Mail notifications off.
thehungryaccountant
Go into “Notifications” in your settings, scroll down and click “Mail”. Under this menu, you should have options on how many notifications you’d like and what kind. Good luck!
London me
I’ve turned off all visual notifications for social media as well and it has dramatically reduced my phone usage.
Anon
Yes! It’s not exactly intuitive to find, but you can really customize notification settings for all apps and I’ve found that soooo helpful! I don’t have sounds on for my work email or my home security camera, but I do get alerts on the screen. I’ve turned off all notifications for social media apps. It’s been so much less distracting since I figured out how to do that!
AirBNB Q
This is my first stay at an AirBNB. I don’t think it is someone’s home, just a full-time rental. There is what seems to be cat hair lurking on baseboards, etc. Anywhere white I can see it (not all surfaces are white though). The place looked clean when I let myself in but I am really allergic to cats and the possibility of this wasn’t mentioned anywhere.
This is legit complainable, no? I feel like they should have disclosed, but who knows if the owner even knew that people were bringing in cats? [And while I get that places get cleaned, getting out cat hair is more than just scrubbing the tub and changing the sheets. It’s like you need to vacuum or wash all surfaces and things like drapes.]
Ugh. Will stick to Marriott next time.
Anonymous
A lot of hotels allow small animals as well. Usually an AirBnB will disclose if they allow animals in their listing, just ask them if a cat person will be staying before you visit and ask them to make sure the cleaning is very through if they are.
Anonymous
I think that hotels are very clear about whether animals other than service animals are allowed and would only put pet people in pet rooms absent some really weird overcrowding situation (and then would tell you). Animal allergies are no joke.
For an AirBNB aiming at business travelers, it just seems really weird. You can leave cats pretty easily for a couple of days (vs dogs), and with minimal stop-in help for longer trips, so I don’t think you’d expect business travelers to travel with cats.
Anon
Not an exact answer to your question, but I stayed with a group of girlfriends in an Airbnb over the weekend and we all independently agreed we are over Airbnb. This particular one was fine, but we’ve stayed in others that are dirty or weird and it just feels risky. I also don’t like the impact on housing in tight housing markets. My goal is to use either hotels, camp, or established vacation rentals through an agency.
Anonymous
Just throwing it out there, I have a colleague who is an all star or gold star or whatever it is called Airbnb host and he says he does minimal cleaning between stays and often doesn’t wash/change the linens! I’m done with Airbnb after hearing that
Anonymous
So are you actually having allergy symptoms? It sounds like you see hair (legit frustrating from the perspective of wondering how well the place was cleaned), but it doesn’t sound like you are having allergy symptoms? Maybe it is dog hair? I think you can bring it up without complaining – “Oh hey, just wondering if you allow pets? Your ad didn’t mention it, so I assumed you didn’t, but it seems like there is cat hair?” Go from there.
Anonymous
OP here — based on my symptoms, it is cat hair. It is animal hair of some sort (straight and fine, mainly black, <2 inches) and I am not allergic to dogs. And dogs don't tend to be on tops of tables or in windows where their hair would be all over the curtains, etc.
My nose and skin itched all night; I am sneezing and blowing my nose like mad. My throat feels scratchy. Sometimes I get hives, but haven't so far (but I wore pants and long pajamas, so my skin has mainly been covered other than hands, face, and feet).
Anonymous
If you can’t stay in the place then yes of course complain and see if you can get your money back. Make sure you can find other accommodations first, though. I would raise the issue directly with the property owner if they’ve been responsive so far. Benefit of the doubt, maybe the last renter brought a cat even though it wasn’t allowed.
I recently had a great experience canceling an airbnb with the host. I was staying in part of the world that gets nearly 24 hours of daylight in the summer. The pictures in the listing showed blackout blinds and curtains. When I got to the apartment, there were no blinds or any other window dressing. At all. They had been completely taken out. Nothing in the listing said there were no blinds/curtains. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep and I was also uncomfortable from a privacy perspective (plenty of nearby apartments could see into my windows). I found a hotel and contacted the owner. She was very nice and refunded me completely.
Cat
Check the listing. Did the description say that pets were allowed? If silent, I think you’re right to be annoyed, and do consider contacting Airbnb to find an alternative apartment. Their customer service desk was great when a host made a typo in my email address and, as a result, I hadn’t received entry code info by the day I was checking in.
I’ve had multiple successful Airbnb stays (10 at this point I think in various countries) and, at the risk of jinxing myself, think the key to finding the place “as expected or better” is (1) not only reading the listing carefully but also the reviews, (2) checking the listing description against the photos — like if they say there is AC, can you see the units or vents?, and (3) messaging with the host beforehand (not only for substance, such as clarifying something from the listing or asking any dealbreaker questions like pet allergies, but also testing the host’s responsiveness).
Anonymous
+1 The only bad experience I have had is because I read the wrong review (multiple properties with one owner) and there were things in the main house that made me uncomfortable (not visible in the listing of the camper). That one was on me for scanning instead of actually paying attention.
Long moves
Any advice for a cross country move done with a relocation company? Like tips on how to prep/pack, what to have moved and what to take by ourselves? I’m thinking of trying to limit the relo company’s move to furniture/art, books, and kitchen stuff. That way, I’d take my clothes and other sundries myself either when we drive the car over or via flights back and forth (which we’ll unfortunately probably have).
Anonymous
Why? I’d have them pack and move everything except a suit case. I don’t need more hassle.
AnonInHouse
+1. We just completed a cross-country move, and the more you can leave to the movers, the better. In addition to a suitcase with whatever clothes and toiletries you need during the move, I recommend you bring any valuable or sentimental jewelry and a “parts box” with hardware for assembling furniture (we learned to do this after our last movers lost the apparently custom screws for our bed). You’ll also need to bring with you cleaning supplies and candles, and other items the movers won’t take in their truck. If you have any valuable art, you can request that it be crated. Take detailed pictures of everything before its packed (documentation for insurance purposes) and supervise the packing and loading to the extent you can. Document the general contents of each box so if they’re lost you can still submit a claim. Look at military moving blogs; we’ve got this down to a science!
Anon
Hello, military spouse here. If it’s free for them to pack everything, let them pack and take everything. Clothes are the absolute WORST to DIY because they’re heavy (multiple trips back inside for you), they slide off hangers as you’re making those multiple trips back inside, they take up more space than you expect in your backseat, and then you can’t see through said backseat on your X hour drive.
Def. read up on military spouse moving blogs.
And if this relo company offers an unpacking service, take advantage of it if you’ll have a few days off work. They’ll unbox everything and put it in the general area where it belongs (aka, dishes on the counters) and they’ll haul away all the packing paper and boxes. It makes putting things away SO much quicker and your house feels neater, even if it’s really not (stuff everywhere), because at least you’re not stepping over piles of paper and boxes. That way you’re not spending days wondering which box X is in and months dealing with that handful of last boxes. I can do a cross-country move and have a house set up – complete with curtains and art – in 4 days if they do the unboxing.
Anonymous
Another military spouse here, I second all of this. I’ll add that you need to micromanage the packing to a certain extent. We didn’t watch closely enough on our last move and my husband’s Playstation arrived in the parts box.
Anon
In addition to a suitcase, shampoo, makeup, etc., ake some basics with you: a set of towels per person, a pot, a spoon for the pot, a few other kitchen necessities, shower curtain (or buy a new one there), etc. If your truck is delayed or cannot be timed to your arrival, you will want to be able to shower and cook a basic meal.
mascot
The moving company will have a list of items that they won’t pack/move. Open food, valuables, chemicals, firearms, heirlooms, etc so be prepared to either get rid of those or take them yourselves. Are they handling packing for you? Also, I’d at least let them handle out of season clothes. You can basically hang your entire closet in wardrobe boxes and bag up shoes to put in the bottom. Much easier than using up trunk space.
Cat
Tip that was amazing re: hanging clothes: garbage bags. Literally leave your clothes on the hangers and use garbage bags, ideally the kind with ties so you can secure the ties around the hangers. Using masking tape and a Sharpie, you can number the bags so that when you unpack, it’s easy to put them all in the same order…
Walnut
How soon will you be reacquainted with your belongings on the other side? If you’ll be moving into your long term housing right away, simplify your life and let the movers take everything beyond normal vacation packing.
T
Former military spouse, plus a relocation for a private company last fall. Have the company move as much as you can, except for intensely sentimental things that you would absolutely, unequivocally be devastated if went missing (e.g., if it’s an heirloom that you could survive without, let them take it). Your risk of loss is reasonably low and making claims is reasonably easy. Everyone has more stuff than they think they do, and those trips back and forth will become the bane of your existence. Take your own inventory of high-value items before the packers come, including photos and receipts if available.
Get rid of as much stuff as you can/want, as the packers will come in QUICK and you will not have the ability to tell them what to/what not to pack. This past move, we unpacked 1/8th full bottle of dish soap, etc. The last box on the packer’s inventory should be your “Day 1” box – box cutters, garbage bags, toilet paper, paper towels, empty water bottles, shower curtain (if applicable), towels, sheets, corkscrew, solo cups, paper plates, spare phone charger, portable speaker, screwdriver with changeable bits.
I would pack two personal suitcases – one is short term, like for a 1-2 week vacation. The second would be longer term, to cover things you’d want over an extended duration (a suit if you need to interview, more skincare/haircare than you’d bring on vacation if that’s your thing).
On the unpacking side, get black contractor bags for all of the paper preferably in the “Day 1” box so you can get started ASAP. As you unpack, paper goes into black contractor bag and empty boxes get broken down. Don’t fill the boxes with paper, it’s a pain in the butt to transport them to wherever they get recycled. Get your bed set up before ANYTHING else. I then like to get gloves on and a big bucket with Simple Green/water – wipe down the whole kitchen so the shelves are clean. If you have unpackers, decide what you want them to focus on – the kitchen has a ton of little things, so it can be helpful to have them unwrap everything and set it on the counter.
MJ
Last tip: make sure everything is packed in large clear plastic garbage bags inside your boxes. Most moving trucks are not watertight. I did this on my last XC move, and it was a lifesaver–only a lot of moldy cardboard boxes, but not a lot of moldy clothes or books or ruined possessions. Seriously, you might think you’re insane when you’re packing, but I have dealt with this the hard one. One thunderstorm and your boxes at the bottom/back of the truck could sit in an inch or two of water for a few weeks. Play it safe–pack inside the bags.
Anon
What are some good games for a picnic for people in their late twenties and early thirties?
I’m co-hosting a small picnic and would like people to mingle more. Taboo is something we might do. Can’t think of anything else that is easy and allows for a lot of players.
Anonymous
I’d bring a frisbee if people feel like doing something, or maybe cornhole, but otherwise leave them alone to mingle and socialize how they want. To encourage that I’d make sure there’s ample seating (even if that just means an extra picnic blanket) and that the food and beverages are arranged so that people can interact around them.
Abby
If you have outdoor space, we regularly play corn hole, kan jam, kubb, and giant jenga. Kubb is really great at including bigger groups, but can be confusing if nobody’s ever played. Kan jam requires more athleticism so ymmv. If you’re not looking for yard games, look up “salad bowl”, or Game of Things.
CountC
I’d add ladder golf to all of these!
anonshmanon
I own kubb, and get a lot of requests to bring it to events. Recently played ladder golf at some friends’ house. Both are fun, but you can chat and hold a drink while playing.
Anon
Catch phrase dominated social events with mixed friend groups in my 20s. That was a decade + ago but it was always fun for big groups.
Anonymous
Agree. Maybe that and some random boxes of Trivial Pursuit cards on the tables. Plus some outdoor stuff as mentioned above.
MagicUnicorn
MadGab is fun and low-key.
Anonymous
Mafia or some other card game.
Anon
Code Names! Telestrations is also a lot of fun.
Anonymous
I love Telestrations but don’t think it lends itself to being played outdoors at a picnic. It’s hard to pull off if people are working in their laps.
Veggie Help
I think I’m a reasonably good cook. I cannot for the life of me get veggies right. They are always over cooked or way under cooked.
I had some delicious roasted carrots at a restaurant recently. I realize they were probably smothered in sugar or butter, but that flavor aside, the texture and crunch was SPOT ON. I’ve also really liked eggplant and zuchini, again, only when roasted to crunchy-not-mushy perfection.
What am I missing? I can bake a cake. Roast meat. Bake bread. I cannot for the life of me get veggies right.
Abby
I think veggies are hard to roast if you follow a recipe to the T due to differences in veggie size and ovens. For carrots, I will toss them in olive oil and season w/s&p and roast them for 20ish minutes at 400-450, while keeping an eye on them to make sure they don’t overcook. Carrots can be pretty sweet, so you don’t need to add sugar if you want to omit. I’ve never really roasted zucchini, but grilled it is amazing. I think it just takes practice – on the plus side, you can still eat undercooked carrots, or taste test it, and throw them back in til you get it right
Anonymous
Shorter time at a higher heat? Zucchini and eggplant have a fairly high water content so I prefer to saute or grill those. Broccoli, asparagus, and green beans roast well. Toss in olive oil and spices of your choice, roast on baking sheet at 425 or so until they get brown and crispy on the edges.
Anon
Find The Pioneer Woman’s recipe for whiskey glazed carrots. Test them throughout the cooking process.
Make sure you are using the right equipment. Some veggies work well in cast iron. Some need more heat or less heat.
London me
Cook them fast and hot!
Cat
Get a steamer basket! Awesome for tender-but-not-limp green beans, broccoli, cauliflower…
Vicky Austin
Carrots are hard! They take a long time to not be raw but it’s so easy to overshoot the mark. Maybe take a look at what the America’s Test Kitchen folks can tell you?
Vote for the steamer
I’d suggest buying a steamer. It made a lot of difference in how often we eat veggies at my house.
MagicUnicorn
Make sure the veggies are chopped to roughly be the same size so all the pieces cook in the same amount of time. And don’t mix veggies when cooking them, at least until you have a feel for what takes longer or shorter times to cook. Stir or turn over once or twice, don’t hesitate to eat a few pieces to test how done they are, and if you think they are getting close start checking more frequently.
Anon
Agreed to fast and hot for things like zuchinni and squash. For carrots or potatoes, pre boil and then roast in oven on high heat or fry in pan.
Use a wok and pre-heat it to high heat- add oil and let that get up to heat
You are trying to avoid steaming the vegetable in the pan and having them turn into mush. This is easier in a wok. Additionally, you want the oil to be hot so they don’t get soggy and oil soaked.
Formerly Lilly
The Kitchn’s recipe for Roasted Frozen Broccoli is excellent. It calls for Parmesan, lemon and what have you, which is totally superfluous in my opinion. Just follow the method for roasting and season with sea salt and good pepper. Fresh asparagus roasts well too, by the same method, but with less time. You just sort of need to watch it until it’s done to your satisfaction. Use a pair of tings to fish a piece out and try it periodically to see if it’s done enough for you. For the asparagus, a grating of Parmesan and a drizzle of good balsamic vinegar will turn it into company worthy food with minimal effort.
Formerly Lilly
Tongs not tings. Sigh.
Anon
For roasting, try putting far fewer veggies in the tray. Most people overcrowd and then the veggies steam, rather than roasting.
review issues
I have an evaluation coming up and I don’t think it’s going to go well. I’m a new partner and I returned from maternity leave a few months ago. I just am not into work and I think it’s showing. My work product has been fine I think, but I’m just not busy, not meeting my hours, and not doing much about it. Honestly I’m tired and don’t feel like I have time to give any more effort to work right now. I have two little kids and my husband works in biglaw and I’m just not able to give anymore. I’m already 80%. All that being said, I like this job and want to continue to work here and can see in the future being able to do more than I’m doing now. This year is just hard. Any advice for handling this review? Should I say any of this? Just be super positive and pretend things are great?
Anon
Don’t talk about your kids and your personal life, and definitely leave out the bit about not caring. Keep it professional!
AFT
I vote super positive and pretend things are great. You may be able to very carefully reference how you’re still “getting up to speed” on new cases/developments since your return, but I think there’s a lot of risk in indicating that you’re anything less than ready & raring to go after returning from leave. Indicating anything less than being fully committed to the job is REALLY risky and could be used to push you out. {and I hate this – but I’ve been you and seen it go bad.]
AFT
… looking at this more, I take back any recommendation around saying anything about “getting up to speed” – it’s such a delicate balance and I think it could go wrong. Thanks.
RR
Yes, just be positive, listen to criticism, tell them you value their feedback and will work to implement, and move on. The year you come back from maternity leave is just not likely to be the most productive year of your career. It’s a short period in a long, long career. Don’t talk about your kids. Don’t suggest going more part-time. Just get through it and do the best you can each day. Before too long, the best you can will be more, and it will all even out.
anon
+1.
This too shall pass.
Anonymous
Things are great. You are amazing.Y ou are a biglaw attorney with a biglaw DH and two small kids. That’s amazing. Talk about enjoying to be back at work and prep 3-5 examples of high points since you’ve been back so you can have positive examples ready. You got this. This is a tough season of life but you’re doing great.
Anonymous
I’m not the OP but I just want to chime in and say I love this community so much. It’s really heartwarming to see comments like this.
And I totally agree – OP you’re doing awesome. Creating and holding boundaries, whether it’s a demanding job, family member, or friend is so so hard, just look at how many questions we see here. You’ve done a great job of creating the space that you need. Keep it up. You’re fabulous.
Anon
I agree! OP, go in there and own it. You’re back, you’re doing the damn thing every day, you’re so pleased to be at a point in your career when you can add so much value and experience to the team, and you are really looking forward to XYZ in the new year.
Anonymous
+1
It will get better.
ER
Also a biglaw partner with 2 kids —- the first year was the absolute hardest. You know yourself and you might have already made your decision, but it’s worth knowing that you could be in the trough right now. Got better for me when #2 was 14 months and we vastly improved our childcare situation.
Anon
+1 things looked up for me SO much when the younger one was 1, and there was another big jump when she turned about 3. Things are SO much better now! I’m sleeping well. I’m working hard AND working out (something I could never do). The kids play well together and can entertain themselves for long periods of time. My oldest reads books to the younger one. You will get there too!
This is a hard time but it goes by fast.
Ontario recs
I’m in southern Ontario for a family vacation. Any recommendations from locals for how to spend a day in Toronto? Recs for Hamilton, Niagara areas also appreciated. Traveling with two teenagers.
Anonymous
Niagara Falls is great to see the falls. I find the town itself a bit garish, but there is lots to do there. Niagara-on-the-Lake is a cute town close by with a seasonal theatre (Shaw Festival). Not sure what is playing there this year.
Toronto — big theme park just north of the city called Wonderland. In the city there are museums, acquarium, CN Tower, lots of plays and musicals. Big zoo in the northeast end of the city. Toronto has a population of about 5 million so lots to do. Depends on your interests.
Not familiar with Hamilton .
Celia
Wineries, surprisingly. And yes, the Canadian side of the Falls is way nicer than the US side.
Meatball sides
I’m having a hard time with this for some reason…what side dishes go well with spaghetti and meatballs other than salad? Doing a dinner party next week and am blanking on side dishes.
Anonymous
The Barefoot Contessa’s broccolini with balsamic vinegar goes well with pasta and can be served at room temperature. Basically any relatively bitter dark green vegetable will be a good contrast to the sweetness of the tomato sauce.
Garlic bread, of course.
anonshmanon
Green beans or broccoli
Not a Fun Guy
Roasted vegetables like broccoli or asparagus? People could eat them on the side or mix them in with the pasta.
Anonymous
Garlic bread
RW
I almost always do a nice salad and garlic bread with heavier pasta dishes. Do you not want to do salad or are you looking for something in addition to salad? You could do some other appetizer type items like melon with prosciutto, marcona almonds, meat/cheese board, veggies with like a pesto type dip, olives, etc
Flats Only
Garlic bread! The butterier the better!
Anonymous
I know this is traditional, but I am baffled as to how it became traditional, almost obligatory, to serve a heavy starch as a side to a heavy starch.
anon
If it’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.
Anon
You should see my 16 year old son make “sandwich” of two slices of garlic bread with close to a full serving of spaghetti with meat sauce as the filling. It is both disgusting and impressive. And probably delicious, but he won’t give me a bite. :)
BabyAssociate
Wow, your son is truly an inspiration. That sounds amazing.
Clementine
That kid is going places.
Delicious, delicious places.
pugsnbourbon
I think if your son could develop that into a hot pocket-style microwaveable entree, he could make an ungodly amount of money.
Anon
I always tell him he should open a sandwich shop. Maybe I’m thinking too small.
Anon
Sandwich shop *is* thinking to small.
He should be a life coach.
Anonymous
I’d set up a pasta bar and a salad bar. Spaghetti with meatless sauce, meatballs in sauce, fresh grated parm, maybe little mozzarella balls, fresh basil, a LOT of roasted garlic, good crusty bread (no butter/cheese), and a nice soft butter. Then separately: mixed greens, chopped almonds (or other nut of choice), sliced avocado, some kind of berry, oil and vinegar.
Stars
Broccoli rabe sauteed in garlic and olive oil will go oh so well
So Anon
I have two afternoons in NYC to myself (single mom to two kids). My divorce just finalized and I have a new house that is largely a blank slate to decorate. I would love to go wander through fun, unique shops to look for ideas and art/other decorations for my new home. Ideas for areas to visit??
Anonymous
ABC Carpet
anon
I love the John Derian store, and it’s definitely got unique things.
Alanna of Trebond
Furnish Green! I am newly obsessed with it.
Anon
Not the OP but wow thanks for sharing that!
Ms B
+1 to ABC Home/Carpet. I also like Fishs Eddy and John Derian. If it is your vibe, Design within Reach has an outlet in Brooklyn – I have not been, but hear good things.
Anon
It’s in Industry City – theres an ABC Carpet and Home (outlet?) there too.
Anonymous
Has anyone here done pelvic floor PT? I’ve been referred for some pain and urinary symptoms that aren’t really explained by anything else, but admittedly I’m a little squicked out at the prospect. I’d love to hear some success stories, if there are any.
Anonymous
100% do it. It’s so worth it. It’s actually standard post-partum care in France. It’s really unfortunate that it’s not better known here. Make sure you go to someone who does an internal exam and has a speciality in pelvic floor issues. It’s no different than an internal exam by your OBGYN. PTs are trained professonals.
Anon
My OBGYN office is really into this, and given that I picked them on intuition (new to the area), it makes me really happy. People who come here from France are baffled and angry that it’s anything but standard care here.
Anonymous
Yes, and it is 100% awesome and not awkward, IME. I am a pelvic floor PT evangelist. I didn’t have huge issues, just run-of-the-milk post-partum abdominal separation and weakness, but I am really glad to have done it.
Anonymous
Lol, run-of-the-mill. Milk was also a large part of my life at that particular time though too…
Anon-in-House
LOL! This made me snort my coffee.
abs
Hoping you still see this – how did it help with abdominal separation? Did they give you ab exercises? Regular sessions? I’ve been doing Tupler and it seems to be working.
Anon
I’ve been referred also after some post-partum issues. I’m really nervous about going. I was poke and prodded during a long fertility fight and I’m just…. tired? don’t want it any more? resent that I alone have to go through this (physically speaking, DH is highly supportive). Le sigh.
I did just hit my deductible on my insurance for the year so the logic in me knows now is the time since it’s basically “free”. Double le sigh.
Anonymous
Instead of thinking of it as a long course of treatment like fertility treatments, think of it as just one hour. You don’t have to go back if you don’t like it but with a good PT, they will be able to give you useful information and exercises specific to your situation in just one session. Book a massage therapy appointment right after for a treat to yourself for taking care of your health.
Anonymous
I approached it as, I’m taking care of my health, which is a priority for me and not just my family. Sort of like working out. Not as fun or satisfying as going to a spin class, but similar idea.
Anonymous
I have no children and I did it because of leakage. GO. I too am an evangelist and tell all of my female friends who also p e e themselves a little bit to run, not walk to pelvic floor PT (I realize that’s not your issue).
Anon
Do it. I think my PT saved my life. I was struck by a car shortly after giving birth. Nothing broke but I could not walk without pain. I was struggling to do basic things and nothing was identified on Xrays and all the other tests. This dragged on for six months before my OB recommended seeing the PT. The PT immediately ruled out my issues being simply postpartum symptoms (which is what the other health professions suggested, like, it couldn’t be from being hurled through space after an encounter with a half tonne object through a pair of jeans, it was obviously having a baby that rendered me unable to walk!) and worked through a series of tests and exercises to tailor the program. Which worked! I have my life back!
yes!
Yes, and it changed my life. I went because of extreme pain during s*x, to the point where we were unable to do it at all. After about 6 months of PT (maybe less), I could do it again and ended up getting pregnant shortly thereafter. It’s no exaggeration to say that it completely changed our marriage and our life. I went to various specialists for YEARS and not a single doctor recommended this to me. I am floored that more people don’t know about this. Please go.
Anonymous
Hi, I have the same issue and have undergone PT for it as well (see comment below, currently pending in mod). I’m wondering if this affected your drive at all?
anon.
I’ve said this before here – follow “theva**nawhisperer” on instagram. She has amazing resources for pelvic PT postpartum and is an evangelist. They also do video PT sessions for people finding it hard to schedule.
anern
I go, and agree that it’s amazing. It’s not too awkward, and for me at least there is more time spent working on my outside pelvis and upper thighs than internal. The therapist has seen and touched every combination of issues the body can create, and makes me feel very comfortable. She gave me additional knowledge about my condition that no one else has even thought to mention.
As with any physical therapy, you have to do the home exercises.
Totally worth it!
Yes, I highly encourage it! I just recently went through a 12-week course of pelvic PT after having a hysterectomy in my early 40s due to uterine/bladder/rectal prolapse. I wish I would have addressed the issues with PT sooner and maybe I could have corrected the issues before surgical intervention was required. I’d had issues since our first was born and he’s now a teenager – I wish dr’s had talked more proactively about pelvic floor therapy then; I just assumed it was part of the price I paid for having kids. I learned a lot about how to correctly brace the pelvic floor during lifting weights, etc. It certainly wasn’t the most enjoyable way to spend 2 hours a week but my therapist was matter of fact about it all so no big deal.
Anonymous
I did pelvic floor PT in my mid-20’s for a different issue. 100% NBD. My therapist was about my age and went to the same college and grad school as me so we just chatted away while she umm performed her therapy. My OB has recommended I go back and do another round (I experience a lot of pain during PIV and have the s*x drive of a door knob), but I’ve been putting it off for some reason.
Anon
Any tips for traveling with a dog who gets carsick? We adopted an adult dog about 6 months ago, and she throws up every time she gets in the car. We go to our lake house most weekends, and she LOVES the lake (swimming! new smells! more swimming!), but getting there is hard on her. We’ve tried feeding her less and not feeding her at all (she still foams at the mouth and spits up); Dramamine, Benadryl, and Bonine; open windows, high air conditioning; front seat and back seat. Thanks for any recs.
Anonymous
I know you said you tried Dramamine, but what about a slightly larger dose? My dog is about 80 lbs and I give him 3 or 4 Dramamine (as per my vet’s recommendation) and that seems to work for an hour and a half drive to our cabin. When we go longer (6-8 hour drive), I will give him a second dose halfway through the trip.
Another suggestion might be CBD oil or tablets for pets. I haven’t tried it myself yet, but I hear it works well for high-strung dogs.
MagicUnicorn
Lots of shorter, more frequent trips? Maybe even practice just getting in and out of the car at home without starting it up or going anywhere. Just get in, hang out for a few minutes, and get out before she has a chance to get sick. If it is nerves or excitement, making it more of a routine thing than an epitome of exciting event can take the edge off the reaction.
Anon
Unorthodox, but a friend had their dog in one of those crates (normally used for things, not dogs) that connects to the hitch on the back of the car or truck. Obviously completely unsafe in case of an accident. Supposedly this solved this issue for them.
Anon
Have you spoken with a vet? She might get over it as she ages but this might be a thing you have to deal with with this dog. Is she small enough that you can at least get a crate so you don’t have to clean a large area? And not feeding her at all is the way to go as if she’s going to get sick anyways, might as well make it a little foam and spit than half digested doggy kibble.
Anon
Our family dog had this issue and we just gave up on taking her with us on road trips. Sorry, I know that’s not what you want to hear.
Keek
Hopefully you’ve spoken to the vet about this, it’s usually really easy to treat – they’ll likely prescribe Cerenia.
Anon
Ugh woke up with a headache. What is your best advice for this? I just want to go back to bed.
anon8
I take 2-3 Aleve. It’s the only thing that helps me with headaches. Also drink lots of water.
Anonymous
Drink coffee or a regular Coke. The caffeine and sugar always help me. Also ibuprofen and lots of water. Sometimes a walk outside to get some fresh air also helps, but not if it is blazing hot where you are.
Inspired by Hermione
Water + Caffeine + Ibuprofen or Tylenol (or, Excedrin- it has some caffeine), plus possibly also a sinus rinse if I think it’s sinus pain.
Anon
Thanks everyone. A cup of tea with sugar, some peanut butter toast and 2 Aleve seem to have done the trick. I was late to work but at least I’m here.
Anon
Follow up to the mother daughter trip to Santa Fe.
Thanks all for the recommendation! We loved Santa Fe. We were there for half of a Friday, all day Saturday and Sunday, and flew home first thing Monday.
We liked the weather when it wasn’t pouring rain – which was about 75% of it. Warm but not too hot. The plaza area was crowded but doable, my daughter and I liked poking around in the little shops, and we had some good meals. I am a forever “Christmas” concert on my enchilada sauce (you can choose red, green, or Christmas sauce, which is a combination of red and green.)
For the bad – the weather unfortunately did not cooperate. We drove to Taos one day to see the Pueblo but just as we got there the skies opened up, rain was just sheeting down to the point the windshield wipers could not keep up, and there was lightning very near by. So it was a bit of a scary drive back and we didn’t get to see the Pueblo or the “high road.” Next time!
The La Fonda Hotel was very cool and historic – I read all about it while we were there – but the service was hit or miss. I’ve since read that there is a pretty severe labor shortage in the hospitality industries in NM, so that ties.
We loved that so many native Americans were around. I’d say 50% of the people we chatted with identified themselves as American Indians.
Overall it was a very worthwhile trip. The most important thing was the bonding time with my daughter, who starts college this fall. For that reason, I highly recommend a mother daughter trip to anywhere!
Anonymous
I was there at around the same time and also loved it (and got better weather than you). 7 nights was more than ample, made it to a lot of spas, lovely hiking, opera, fantastic drinks. Great as a solo adventure.
Anon
I would have loved to go to the opera! They were doing La Bourne when I was there. But that was a no-go with my teenager, and it ended up raining the night I would have wanted to go anyway.
I’m glad you had a nice time!
Anon
*La Boeheme
Bubble Bath
Any recommendations on a good foamy bubble bath that’s available at Target or a drugstore? It’s for myself, so no kid scents. I want lots of bubbles but don’t care if it’s scented or not.
Anonymous
Dr. Teal’s lavender foaming bath. It is easily the bubbliest bubble bath ever.
Curious
Can any of you wise ladies recommend learning resources (books, preferably, but I’m also open to podcasts etc.) on how to influence? For background, I’m in tech as a product manager, about 8 years into my career, and I have reached a level of seniority where in order to grow further, I need to up my EQ and influencing game. This is HARD for me (there’s a reason I’m in tech! I’m much better with numbers and systems than people), so assume nothing is too basic. I already have How to win friends and influence people and Nice girls don’t get the corner office on hold at the library. Beyond that, I’m having trouble sorting the wheat from the chaff in my Google searches.
Thanks so much!
cbackson
What does “influence” mean to you in this context?
Anon
I haven’t read it yet, but I recently met the author of and bought a copy of The Most Powerful Woman in the Room is You. I enjoyed hearing the author speak and think that she probably has some good insights in the book that would relate in some ways to influence. I can definitely report back after I read it.
CHL
Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader by Hermione Ibarra and the Trusted Advisor by David Maister might also be helpful. The Secret Handshake by Kathleen Kelly Reardone is also good for navigating office politics. These are practical books that are more about the organizational landscape and relationships rather than the “pitch.”
Curious
These look like exactly what I’m looking for. Thank you.
Traveler
I am also a product manager in tech. 15 years into my career. Happy to chat offline if you post a burner email.
Frankly, I think that “Nice girls don’t get the corner office” is geared way too junior for you & you won’t get much out of it.
Please walk don’t run to read “How Women Rise” by Sally Hegelsen and Marshall Goldsmith. Marshall Goldsmith wrote “What got you here won’t get you there” — this version is focussed on woman-centric research.
Traveler
I mean….run don’t walk…. still too early!!!
Curious
Thanks so much! I don’t have a burner email and no time to day to set one up, but I’ll page you on a thread later this week or early next :)
Psychiatrist?
Random question but anyone have a good recommendation for a psychiatrics in the Twin Cities who is taking patients?
Anon
A bit of a strange question and what made me think of it was the question regarding pelvic floor PT.
I feel like my pelvic floor muscles are never relaxed and are always “engaged”. It’s sort of like I’m automatically doing a mini kiegel all the time. I can’t really notice unless I’m thinking about it, but I do find that during “gardening” and even OBGYN exams I experience pressure and tension that seem a bit more than I’d assure are normal. Things just feel very constricted – like, in the past I used to be able to insert a Diva Cup no problem, and I cannot even comfortably insert one anymore. If I purposely try to “push out” these muscles, it feels like I do not have good bladder control anymore. I have never been pregnant or given birth, I’m under 30 years old. Does anyone relate? Is this something that I should see a PT for?
Anonymous
I would see a PT. I found PT particularly useful post childbirth because I had a twin pregnancy and my pelvic floor muscles were actually overly tight in some areas from trying to support the weight but also weak in other areas from being stretched. Part of the work in sessions and exercises was learning how to relax the tight areas and engage the weak areas. There are a lot of muscles in that area and depending on how you sit, exercise etc they may be weak in some areas and strong in others.
anon
Yes, look up pelvic floor tension myalgia (I think?). I had this and got PT for it. Eventually your muscles will weaken (paradoxically) from their continuing spasm, so get this taken care of now. The pelvic floor muscles are incredibly complex and once you start holding a spasm it’s really hard to break on your own but a good pelvic floor PT can help with this. Not just a regular PT.
Anon
Yes, my PF PT is treating me for this right now. I had a baby, but these issues were really probably from before. Go, it’s worth it.
anon
Yes, PT would be a good way to address this, and it can certainly cause pain. Much easier to address earlier than later!
Yes!
I commented above on PT after my hysterectomy. Yes, this is absolutely something a PT can look into and help address. There are many things that can be causing this, but for me it was because my bladder was prolapsing into the vag so it wasn’t really muscles but another organ! For milder prolapse if that’s what it is, PT can strengthen the surrounding muscles to provide better support. I had assumed it was scar tissue related to a really bad tear I had with my first and my gyn never mentioned it. I ended up w a prolapse of all 3 pelvic organs over time so a hysterectomy was my best path forward – I feel so much better but wish I had asked more proactive questions about my symptoms years ago.
Ellen
I would check with your obgyn, but Rosa had this issue when she was trying to get pregnant with Baby #2, and it turned out she was actually allergic to Ed, more specifically someting Ed was eating. Rosa had been doing kegels to address a urinary control issue that came about after her natural childbirth, but the new allergy manifested itself in vaginal constriction, which Ed evidently did not either notice or mind, but it really bothered Rosa, much as it does you. As it turned out, Ed had access to unlimited bags of Cracker Jacks at work, and it was all of the caramel and peanuts that made Rosa allergic to Ed’s sperm. As it was the babies are also allergic to nuts. So once the allergist tested Ed, he stopped all of the Cracker Jacks and within weeks, he was able to resume trying to get Rosa pregnant w/o incident. Within a year, she had her second baby and a third a year later — and without any more Cracker Jack’s! YAY!!!!
Anon
Do any of you rent houses for vacations? If so what do you cook?
We do this every year. Our general rule is to eat lunches out but breakfasts and dinners at the rental house. It’s too far of a drive for us to bring up anything perishable, and we don’t have room for a big cooler, so we end up grocery shopping there at a very average grocery store.
I don’t want to have to buy a lot of condiments or sauces because I can’t bring them home. So our meals end up being grilled steaks, sausages, lamb chops plus bagged salads and maybe garlic bread or a baguette. But I think we are all kind of tired of this formula.
Any inspiring suggestions from the hive?
Anon
Bring or buy sauces that get used up, eg a normal size jar of spaghetti sauce, curry sauces, masala sauce, etc.
Soy sauce is best kept refrigerated but does not need to be. Olive oil can travel back and forth with you as well. Bring a small collection of spices or pepper.
Sarabeth
Ditto this. Buy delicious fancy sauces and bring them with you.
thehungryaccountant
Bring your favorite spice blends/rubs! I find that good -quality flavor in spices can make up for limited choices at the store. And you can bring them along without needing to worry about it going bad.
Anon
Oh that i do! I bring an apron, a jar of olive oil, my favorite knife, a baggie of kosher salt, my pepper grinder, and my little spice packets from Penzey’s (the free ones they throw into every order)!
Abby
My mom used to be very creative (and frugal) with cooking on vacation when I was a kid. She’d save and bring any extra condiments (ketchup, mustard, chicken nugget dipping sauce, salt & pepper packets) from fast food restaurants we stopped at if we road tripped. I remember her teaching me that she strategically cooked breakfast sausage first and used the leftover meat fat to fry eggs after. She’d also boil eggs for portable snacks, that we’d eat on the go with salt and pepper.
Anon
I have heard of people using Blue Apron for vacation rentals because everything is portioned, but personally, I think Blue Apron and similar create a lot of plastic waste and they are not at all cost-effective for families. I would just bring your usual ingredients from home (a big cooler full of your favorite condiments, etc.) and take back what you don’t use back home.
Anonymous
We always stay in condos with kitchens and we have some basic go-to dinners that involve ingredients that are easy to carry or find where we’re staying:
– Spaghetti with meat sauce and bagged salad with dressing (I bring the organic ground beef with me in a small cooler. You can make chicken spaghetti or vegetarian spaghetti also).
– Grilled sausages with deli/packaged mashed potatoes and salad or grilled vegetables
– Hot dogs or hamburgers with salad or grilled veggies
– Our Target has bagged stir-fry kits with veggies and a sauce packet; just add chicken or fish (which we put in the small cooler)
World Market had (and I think still has) a travel spice kit that is easy to pack and transport, and as the poster said above – having some good spices available really helps jazz up otherwise dull meals. We take ours on every car trip.
We usually end up bringing with us:
– Meat/fish (I’m picky about where our meat comes from)
– Spaghetti noodles
– Spaghetti sauce
– Olive oil
– Coffee
– Sugar (we buy milk when we get where we’re going)
– Cereal or oatmeal
– Water-only pancake mix
– Pancake syrup (we buy butter if we decide we need it, too much hassle to transport)
– Tortilla chips and salsa
– Granola bars
It is SO NICE having options for breakfast, dinner and snacks so you’re not constantly going out for food.
Food
We do this. Pastas with garlic powder + oil or jarred sauce. Since you have a grill, you can grill any veggies as a side instead of a salad (if no grill pan, use veggies you can slice into bigger chunks or won’t fall through the grates, like eggplant, summer squash, asparagus), lots of cheese. We get by with a bottle of olive oil, salt, and garlic powder for all meals.
anon
We just got back from 9 nights at a family member’s beach condo. Our general rule is to eat out on the way to and from the beach, but we don’t go out while we’re there (it’s crowded and overpriced, but mostly, the other person we travel with is frugal). We like to have local shrimp and seafood, and we keep these simple because they tend to be more expensive. We had a pan of lasagna this year, which lasted 2 nights. We braised a pork butt (Milk Street miso-gochujang pork) and had shredded pork in sandwiches, lettuce wraps, and rice bowls throughout the week. We also made salmon curry (NYT coconut-miso salmon curry), a simple pasta dish (Milk Street spaghetti with goat cheese, mint and peas), and pan-seared chicken legs (NYT garlicky chicken with lemon-anchovy sauce).
We do take a cooler back and forth with us. We transported the lasagna, plus some of our sauces and condiments and homemade salad dressing. It really does help once we arrive. On the way back, we had food in our cooler for over 8 hours, including 90 minutes parked in the hot sun while we finally ate at a restaurant, and the ice had not melted when we unpacked at home.
Anonymous
We make fajitas and grill both the meat and the veggies and then eat on top of warmed up tortillas with homemade guacamole and jarred salsa. We then use any leftovers the next morning for breakfast tacos by mixing with eggs and adding bacon. We also make curry, but I bring curry powder with me. We also make enchiladas, but I bring the sauce with me and then buy meat, cheese, and tortillas. These things don’t need refrigeration and don’t take up much space. I have a small plastic box with supplies like this that I bring.
anne-on
If you drive I’d pack an instant pot or slow cooker if you have them. I tend to do a shredded pork or shredded tacos (beef or chicken) at least 2 nights while we’re away – I love being able to throw the meat in before the beach/pool/lake and then just shred it right before dinner. Overnight oats are also amazing!
Otherwise, for a 6 night/7 day stay I typically do a pasta night (usually on the first night since it is so fast and easy!) faves are sausage crumbled up, plus broccoli rabe and cheese, or ricotta plus lemon zest and green beans and peas, taco night (with or without slow cooker), breakfast for dinner night, grilling night, one night of leftovers or sandwiches, and one or two nights out.
I cook about 4-5 nights a week at home and know which spices I cannot live without. I typically pack our salt/pepper grinders, celery seed (coleslaw), smoked paprika, onion and garlic powder, cinnamon, and vanilla. I will sometimes bring olive oil too as I hate paying a fortune for it in beach towns.
Coach Laura
We had a long weekend at a rental house with extended family. I pre-made chili, meatballs in sauce, pulled pork and froze them in ziplock bags or other containers. I pre-marinated chicken and pork tenderloin. I assembled all the ingredients for Silver Palate chicken Marbella except the chicken and froze that, with the raw chicken frozen separately, then thaw and marinate. Once frozen this will all keep for 8+ hours.
If you don’t have room for a cooler, then you could assemble the recipes and spices and bring those already done as much as possible. Otherwise I think you’re limited to things you can cook from scratch there – grilling, pasta, salads, rice & beans etc.
Anonymous
I just survived three weeks of beach house rentals with massive amounts of extended family. Here are some of the very simple meals that worked:
1) Spaghetti with meat sauce and a big salad.
2) Grilled flank steak (marinated in teriyaki sauce) with grilled zucchini and vegetables.
3) Several different taco nights – one night we did fish tacos, another night we did burritos with ground beef. It helps to use up all the taco condiments if you plan them for two nights.
4) Lots of dinner leftovers for lunch – helps with using things up.
5) Barbecue chicken with rice pilaf.
6) Orzo tossed with chicken, peas, lemon, and feta cheese.
I also think it helps to just surrender to the fact that there will be leftovers and you may waste some food. The leftover bottle of ketchup is not going to make a difference to your budget or to the world’s hunger needs.
bah humbug!
Commiseration, please! Applied to a job and within hours got a request for a phone interview (this was exciting because typically it just goes into a black hole with this company.) Responded “yes” right away and that my schedule was wide open. It gets scheduled for the following week. Morning of the interview, it’s cancelled and I say I’m open to reschedule anytime but it’s moved a week later. Interview finally comes yesterday afternoon and the interviewer tells me he had already filled the position before our interview. Total time from application/request for interview to rejection in interview was just over two weeks. :( Sooooo that stinks.
Monday
I’m sorry! That is disappointing.
This might be cold comfort, but from what you’re describing it sounds like they were strongly leaning toward someone else from the beginning, and probably scheduled around that person. Maybe it was an internal candidate or a targeted recruit? It sounds like maybe they had other candidates in the pool just in case that person didn’t accept. In that case, there was nothing you could have done. I’m pretty sure this has happened to me at least once.
Worry about yourself
Right, it sounds like it may have been a niche, hard-to-fill position and once they got a really good candidate who was very qualified but was interviewing at other companies and possibly already getting offers, they wanted to act fast on them and unfortunately that meant they couldn’t put off the decision until they had the time to meet with you as well, OP. I really hope they do stick a pin in you for next time, though.
Anon
I’m sorry that happened to you. Honestly, that is terrible business practice so maybe you dodged a bullet. They probably had an internal candidate already and are required to court external applicants prior to filling the position so I wouldn’t take it personally.
Anon
Ugh I hate that. Job searching is the literal worst.
Diana Barry
Question on skirts! What shapes are we seeing/liking now and for fall? I am not wearing any of my pencil skirts any more, they don’t really look right, so I am wondering what everyone is buying. Midi A-line? I don’t like pleats.
LifeScienceMBA
You can pry my pencil skirt from my cold, dead hands. I think it’s a classic look that doesn’t go out of style.
Two Cents
I completely agree. I find pencil skirts super flattering and I see them all the time. I think the pleated midi skirt look that is trendy now doesn’t look great unless you’re tall.
I think of them like skinny jeans — they may not be on trend now but I see everyone wearing them and they are generally flattering.
Vicky Austin
I’m wearing one today!
Anon
+1 The basic pencil skirt shape isn’t ever going to go anywhere. OP, it’s probably other details on yours that make them look out of fashion to you.
Anon
I don’t think pencil skirts go out of style. Just wear them with flats and put away anything above the knee for a while. But also I’ve seen a lot more midi skirts that are half-calf length in all shapes (pencil, pleated, uneven hem etc). I can’t say I’ve seen more A-line skirts, there are always people who wear them exclusively and I think it’s just a classic. I am seeing many shift dresses that are a bit less bodycon than what I’m used to seeing (or maybe because it’s hot). Personally, it’s hard to pull off as a short hourglass but if you can they look professional and comfy.
Cat
I’m still wearing mine (though generally speaking less often than pants). Changing up the styling does a lot to refresh the look — choosing flats or, in cold weather, flat knee high boots reads as more modern than heels, as does a silky slouchy blouse rather than a structured button-down.
Full skirts are incredibly frumpy on me so I’ll be sitting out that trend.
Anonymous
Does anyone know of a place where you can donate old suits and career clothes by mail, instead of drop off?
RR
Thred up has a donation option. They send you a bag, you fill it and send it back, they donate. Free to you. Huge bags.
Anon
I’m in the middle of an amicable but unwanted divorce. I’m grown weary of having to tell people over and over. It’s just so emotionally draining. I’m not interested in a Facebook post, etc. and I have too many disparate friend groups to designate a person. I guess I’m just looking for some commiseration. Has anyone been through this? Tell me word will eventually spread.
BeenThatGuy
I can commiserate. I was pregnant while going through my divorce and I decided early on that I just couldn’t talk about it with anyone outside my innermost circle. People will figure it out. You don’t have to tell everyone personally. As time goes on, it will get easier to talk about and you’ll be less weary.
Worst case scenario, tell the town gossip or your friend with the biggest mouth.
Anon
I got divorced pre-social media. Trust me, word spreads. It’s sort of like a snowball effect. Hugs – I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Anonymous
OP Here – thanks for the commiseration!!
Jules
Yes, word will get out. I was amazed how many people in my small college town knew I was getting divorced; if I ran into, say, a parent who I knew when our kids were younger but I hadn’t seen in a couple of years, I’d get (mostly non-judgy and supportive) comments that they had heard about our split. I’d wonder, who have they been talking to? But it was mostly better than having to keep telling people.
And hugs to you – it will get easier.
Lobby-est
To quote our Senior Attorney – the only way out is through! You’ll get through this sooner than you might think. It will get easier and someday you will look back and smile. Wishing you all the best with all the good things coming your way!
Shoulder Impingement or Frozen Shoulder or something else?
Has anyone suffered from sudden pain in the general shoulder / back area? DH suddenly had pain in the scapula area about 10 months ago, and has been having progressively worsening pain in the collarbone and general upper back areas. He has seen multiple doctors and physiotherapists, but none of the treatments seemed to make any difference. Painkillers have not helped. Now it’s at a point where any movement or even breathing causes him so much pain — just on the right side — and doctors have forbidden him from exercise and swimming but it seems to cause muscle loss ajd more pain. He says it feels as though a nerve is “stuck”, and that creates pain in the muscles. He has trouble raising his arms although he can do it, it causes him pain to put on a t shirt. Chiropractic / hot springs seem to help on some days, not so much on others. He is 37 fwiw. Grasping at straws, but any idea what it could be or might be helpful appreciated.
anon a mouse
I had sudden back pain and was referred to a neurologist. Ultimately I had a pinched nerve in an odd place that had eluded standard detection. A combination of cortisone shots (to ease inflammation) and physical therapy (to realign things) worked, but it was a long process. I also realized that my sleeping posture was aggravating the issue, so made some adjustments there. Good luck to him (and you!), it’s so frustrating to not have answers.
Colette
My wife had this and after the doctor couldn’t see anything wrong medically on the scans, she started going to Physical Therapy.
It was also a pinched nerve. It took about 6 months for it to completely go away. It can still twinge if she slept weird, etc.
Lobby-est
Get him to a Sports Medicine doc. I had a very painful frozen shoulder diagnosed by a sports medicine physician. My goal was to be out of pain and able to use my shoulder normally. We tried physical therapy, icing, oral steroids, creams, etc. – what finally worked was an anti-inflammatory shot into my shoulder guided by ultrasound so it went right where needed. It did not hurt at all – I was looking away and didn’t even know he’d done it. The pain relief was instant and the stiffness was better in a few days. Good luck!
Anonymous
I had the same problem. What ultimately helped was a lot of foam rolling, ART with my chiropractor, and regular physical therapy and exercises.
Blue Light Glasses
Does anyone have blue light blocking glasses that they like that ARE NOT incredibly hipster??? I don’t want to spend a ton on them, but my eye doctor has recommended that I get some to reduce eye strain. Budget would be $50 or less?
I have a small face and everything I can find is either massive, overly costumey, or just…too much. I have Warburg Parker glasses, but a basic simple shape, so if all else fails I’ll just get those with blue light lenses but I’d rather not spend $99 on these.
Anonymous
Are you able to download something on your computer? I use f.lux and it helps so much. Free. No glasses required.
anon a mouse
Eyebuydirect does this. They’ve made a huge difference for me. I found $20 frames and then the coating was another $30, I think.
In-House in Houston
I just bought a pair that was a deal of the day on Amazon last week for $25 and I really like them.
Blue Light Blocking Reading Glasses Computer Eyeglasses Frame Readers for Women Men Medium Small Face(Crystal Grey, 1.50)
Anony
Purchased my computer glasses from firmoo for around $35 (non RX.) The frames I chose were lighter than I expected, which was an added bonus.
Zenni also had some great options – I use them exclusively for my RX glasses and have added blue light blocking as an option – no complaints with either.
Outdoor weddings in the fall
What should I wear on top of a dress for an outdoor wedding in the fall in the mid Atlantic and/or an evening wedding in the late summer in New England? I guess a wrap is the obvious answer, but it doesn’t seem practical, since I expect to be chasing kids around and generally be sort of active. An open blazer maybe, depending on the dress? I think I remember seeing a light pink one from Halogen that may no longer exist. That doesn’t seem quite right though. I’m sort of drawing a blank. Guys have it so easy — they just put on their d*mn suit jacket.
Worry about yourself
I’d look for a bolero jacket, or a shrug-style sweater. If you wanna go really classy though, maybe you can find a fur or faux-fur caplet that you can tie or secure around your shoulders and you won’t have to hold.
Anon
Check Talbots’ RSVP (special occasion) line.
Anonymous
I have a couple of jackets in dressy fabrics that I toss on. Satin, I think would be the search term.
Lily
If this is to wear later in the evening, after the ceremony and dinner, and it’s not a black-tie wedding, I’d consider a dark wash jean jacket. They look really cute thrown over a cocktail dress and you don’t have to worry about wrinkles.
Anonymous
I normally just try to get a long-sleeved dress if I think that will be warm enough. Otherwise, I have a couple of open cardigans in a silky knit material that I think look nice with some of my cocktail dresses.
Anonymous
Leather jacket.
Anon
The faux fur wraps from Amz0n.
Sunflower
From Amazon: Eyekeeper Slim Vintage Computer Readers. I use them when watching TV or reading on my iPad at night.
Sunflower
Sorry—meant for Blue Light Glasses.
Big Mama
I know this is rando but does anyone have any place (restaurant or anything really) to recommend in Eugene, OR or any cool short day trips from Eugene? thanks!