This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
With the cropped look being so prevalent, I’m constantly on the hunt for “full-length” tops and tees these days. (Tall and long-torsoed folks, I’m sure you feel my pain.) I came across these “tuckable” long-sleeved tees at Abercrombie & Fitch while I was on a quest for denim, and I quickly added to cart.
While the length is a major draw for me, the soft matte, seamless fabric looks like it would be great for wearing under a blazer. Gray and navy are on their way to my house now, and I may be adding more.
The tops are $45 at Abercrombie & Fitch and come in sizes XXS–XXL. (And for those of us who are still carrying some A&F-related high school trauma, please know that the fit is much more true to size now and the denim goes up to a size 37!)
Looking for the best work-appropriate T-shirts? As of 2024, some of our favorite dressy T-shirts for work are from Amazon Essentials, Theory, Everlane, J.Crew, Banana Republic, Nic + Zoe, and Vince — also check our posts on opaque white tees and the best plus-size tees for work!
Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
Cat
in search of the perfect beach bag – anyone encountered this unicorn?
– neutral canvas style with water resistant liner. Enough structure to stand up semi on its own, not a limp sack.
– medium-sized shoulder tote – not top-handle or crossbody (this knocks out Paravel Medium Cabana which is otherwise almost perfect)
– reasonable number of pockets for things like sunscreen bottles or sunglasses cases, but not overly compartmentalized or bulky
Anon
https://squeezedecitron.com/products/grateful-spirit-citron?pr_prod_strat=e5_desc&pr_rec_id=ad1356b0f&pr_rec_pid=8062505255202&pr_ref_pid=8062498439458&pr_seq=uniform
Not canvas and no pockets, but easy to clean. I compartmentalize with different small cheap makeup bags. Very sturdy and easy to tote. I have an XL so I can throw in towels as well.
HSAL
What is a shoulder tote vs a top handle? I would call the Paravel a shoulder tote.
Anon
I think longer straps? I’m not familiar with the bag she mentioned but I googled it and it looks like the straps are a bit too short to wear it comfortably over your shoulder. It seems like it’s mean to be carried over your arm the way this woman is: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FLQzEUAXsAQ10R5.jpg:large
Cat
The drop on the handles doesn’t look long enough to easily sling over a shoulder – the models are all shown holding it by hand or using the separate crossbody strap. It might technically fit, but I’d prefer something like a Longchamp’s drop.
Anon
I have the extra large and it easily fits on my shoulder.
NY CPA
For example the ubiquitous LLBean totes come with either “regular” or “long” handles. Regular handled totes are meant to be hand carried because of the drop. Long handled totes are able to be carried on the shoulder if you want.
Cat
yes exactly. There is a leather-handled LLBean with a long drop that is also close but lacks any pockets.
I’m good with using a pouch or two for little stuff, but the ease of just dipping a hand in blind and knowing exactly where to pull the sunscreen from is so nice.
BeenThatGuy
Look at Scout bags. They have many many options.
Anonymous
This.
Cat
ooh the Pocket Rocket (what is that name?!) tote could be a really good option. Thanks!
Anon
Mark & Graham waterproof tote. Comes in different sizes with and without zipper top. They also make a waterproof pouch. Plus it can be monogrammed! It’s fairly lightweight for a large beach bag. Love mine so much.
Cat
ooooh this is really close. I wish it had a few more generous pockets inside but am bookmarking. Hopefully they offer the stripe in the medium size because I like that way better than the solids!
Anon
+1
I have this in white, which I feared would get grungy quickly. But it cleans up like a dream. Grommets in the bottom let you scrub, rinse and go. I am plus-size and can comfortably carry this as a shoulder bag. I also have an MG pouch in bright green for things I don’t want floating free. This duo has made it through years of beach vacations and still looks new.
Flats Only
Lands End has “LLBean-ish” tote bags with more features than the actual LLBean Boat & Tote. This one looks like it might suit.
https://www.landsend.com/products/print-5-pocket-open-or-zip-top-canvas-tote-bag/id_299725?attributes=6857,43321,43374,43699,44234,51525
Cat
thank you! I’m not thrilled with the busy wintry patterns offered with the long handle, but the size and pockets are perfect. Will keep an eye out in spring – hopefully more neutrals or stripes will be added.
Anon
I am a different poster and clicked on the link and saw mostly stripes?
I buy the plain canvas Land’s End totes in the small or medium size to use as knitting project bags. No zippers is a feature not a bug for that purpose! I like the plain canvas ones with a navy or gray trim.
That said – I don’t usually want to spend enough at Land’s End to get to the free shipping threshold so I buy them on Amazon!
Anon
Lands’ End Open Top Long Handle Canvas Tote Bag https://a.co/d/e8QTKvI
Here you go. There’s a zipper option too but this one is without.
Cat
The stripes options at LE are all the shorter handle. Good idea to check Amazon!
Anon
Oh this is awesome, one thing I hate about my LL Bean tote is that it doesn’t have pockets.
anon
A perfect beach bag does not exist, I’m sad to say.
Cat
lol, it did. I’ve been using my unicorn for like 20 years – it was a no name brand I picked up in college – but the material is finally giving out too much to repair!
Anon
This is true. I’ve been looking for a while. Ideally, it would fit three towels and have pockets for odds and ends; be very durable and either waterproof or washable; relatively lightweight because towels for three is heavy enough.
Anon
I have a nylon Cotopaxi Taal tote that is pretty close to perfect. It is 16L so may be a bit small if you like plush beach towels but we prefer thin ones and it holds all the towels, sunscreen, and water bottles my family of three needs for a day at the beach.
Duchess
Sea Bags? The regular bags are available with one interior pocket, but you can also go the custom route and the Large is available with four interior pockets. This would also get you exactly the color/style you want too. They’re also made of old sails so waterproof and clean up easily.
Anon
I love mine!
Cat
Thank you all for the great leads :)
Anon
I found a great Baggallini beach bag in a shop in Hanalei. I can’t find the exact one in a quick search, but it’s made out of a waterproof plastic material, with great exterior and interior pockets, including a fabric-lined interior pocket for your electronic devices, a zippered interior pocket, and two interior side pouch kind of things for a water bottle or sunscreen etc. It has shoulder straps and two removable longer straps (one solid, one patterned) that work as a cross-body. Closes with a snap at the top rather than a zipper and it’s a great open bag for towels etc. Holds a ton. It’s kind of similar to this one, but mine doesn’t have a zipper or a trolley sleeve: https://www.baggallini.com/large-carryall-tote/LCA694-BG-B0298-NS.html
Anon
There will no doubt be a lot of editorializing about the ICJ’s order, so here is the actual document:
https://www.icj-cij.org/sites/default/files/case-related/192/192-20240126-ord-01-00-en.pdf
Anonymous
I mean there wasn’t any discussion of this here until your bombed it in.
Anon
Heh. Truth.
Anonymous
Yikes. I could care less. What is this Meet The Press?
Anonymous
Ain’t nobody got time to read a 29 page piece of UN-speak English.
Anon
For real.
Anonymous
Here’s a summary:
The ICJ has denied Israel’s motion to dismiss, finding that South Africa has made a plausible case for genocide. The ICJ issued a preliminary injunctive order to Israel to ‘cut it out’ and let the civilians get necessary aid they’ve been blocking. More to come . . .
Anonymous
Remind me — Russia is on a UN human rights commission?
Anon
I am waiting for the UN to issue orders condemning Hamas’ war crimes, beginning with the intentional targeting of civilian targets in Israel, including rape as a weapon of war (and please, spare me any “no because that’s against Islam” arguments), and including deep integration of military positions into civilian institutions in Gaza. Every civilian death in Gaza proper is the fault of Hamas. I regret that so many innocent people there live under the thumb of such a vicious terrorist group that always, always puts them at risk to score cheap points. Israel has international obligations and must never commit genocide – but I absolutely don’t believe it is doing so and I believe the civilian death count is the fault (and crucially, the desire) of Hamas.
Anon
Agree completely.
Its me
+1
KS IT Chick
If Hamas were subject to the ICJ, they probably would. Because Gaza is not a nation-state, and because Hamas is not a governing entity, they aren’t subject to the rule of the ICJ.
Anon
Right — if the UN were inclined to do anything (they aren’t), what could they do beyond wag a finger?
Anon
Fair point, but I don’t agree they would condemn Hamas even if they could. A lot of people on the left think Israel is 100% at fault here. And the UN is generally left of the Democrat party in the US.
Anon
Right, but the UN (not the ICJ) could still make statements of condemnation.
Anon
wasn’t Hamas elected in Gaza? though i realize they aren’t a traditional governing entity. and isn’t the UN letting Iran chair human rights discussions? idk how much credibility that gives them these days.
Anon
Gazza may not be a nation state, but boss is definitely it’s governing entity.
Anon
HAMAS – although boss works too (in the mafia sense)
Need more coffee
Lily
Two things can be true. Hamas is responsible for (1) crimes against humanity in its barbaric attacks on civilians on Oct 7 and (2) the deaths of Gazan civilians. Israel is responsible for (1) a gross and seemingly intentional failure to protect its own civilians (by funding Hamas and by its failure to prevent and respond to Oct 7 attacks) and (2) crimes against humanity in Gaza, which the whole world is bearing witness to.
Repeat after me: two things can be true.
*Note that only one of these purports to be a “liberal democracy” with one of the most sophisticated intelligence agencies/militaries in the world with the full financial and political backing of the strongest superpower in the world.
Anon.
Agree completely.
Anonymous
+ 1 million
Anon
How could Israel have prevented the attacks? Most people who are siding with Hamas also believe Israel has historically been way too heavy-handed on matters of national security and that it has infringed on Palestinian rights. What’s your idea for strengthening security and preventing attacks without those harms?
Lily
They had the intelligence. The army took like 7 hours to respond, presumably because they were so busy with protecting illegal settlements in the West Bank…
Anon
Whatever you think of Israeli politics in Gaza and the West Bank, it seems really unfair to blame them for the Oct. 7 attacks. The US was unprepared for 9.11 despite also having intelligence about it. No one was going around saying it was our fault. It’s victim-blaming to say the victim of a terrorist attack is at fault for the attack.
anonymous
+1 million
Anonymous
Such a lazy response.
Anon
in total agreement.
Anon
yes, how long did it take the UN to decide there was enough evidence of the rapes on October 7 to say something about it…
Anon
i also really take issue with the use of the word genocide in this context. if one wants to argue israel should be doing more to protect civilian death that’s one thing, but go visit auschwitz birkenau or majdanek before you throw that word around
Anonymous
Without addressing the substance of this particular conflict, I don’t appreciate the suggestion that Jews have a monopoly on identifying genocide and that unless something is equivalent to the Holocaust it doesn’t count. Is that the worst instance? Absolutely. Should we never forget? For sure. Can you have smaller scale events that also constitute genocide and can genocide be committed by a population that was itself the subject of one? Yup. Should we ignore instances of ethnic cleansing and genocide under those circumstances? Absolutely not.
Anon
But genocide has a specific meaning and isn’t just “people dying in a war and we want to say nasty things about one side.”
Anon
fyi – not all Israelis are Jewish.
Anon
‘genocide’ was coined in response to the atrocities committed by the Germans during WWII. this crime was created to address instances with an “intent to destroy.” it is different from ethnic cleansing. i just don’t see the “intent” piece by Israel towards the palestinians. the intent is to destroy hamas.
Anonymous
@1240
Your playbook is worn out. You can skip to the end and call me the epithet if you want, but it’s not true. You are intentionally misconstruing my comment and attempting to make me look ignorant or bigoted, which I am not, as a debate tactic to shut down conversation.
Citizens of the nation of Israel were not the targets of the Holocaust.
Anon
I agree with Anonymous at 12.03
Anon
I also really resent that only Israel gets accused of genocide in warfare when it’s only Hamas that literally calls for genocide of Jews in its founding documents. The double standard is shocking and it’s hard for me to believe that more educated people aren’t talking about it.
txanon
I don’t think only Israel does gets accused of genocide. Off the top of my head with absolutely no research, I can think of the Rwandan genocide of the Tutsi people, the Chinese genocide of the Uyghur peoples and the Rohingya genocide in Myanmar.
Anon
In this conflict, only Israel is being accused of genocide by international bodies. From what I understand, South Africa’s complaint didn’t even acknowledge that Hamas has long publicly called for the extermination of Israel. It’s no secret, it’s out there in the open, and still we’re pretending like only Israel deserves scrutiny.
Anonymous
Oh, yeah. Hamas has genocidal intent. I was not suggesting otherwise.
Anonymous
+1
Anonymous
Israel is by no means the only subject of genocide accusations (or findings) historically.
Artemis
+infinity. Thank you for saying this so forthrightly and succinctly.
Anon
This is the same UN that had employees there participating in the massacres in October?
Bette
Would expect nothing less from an institution that actually employed some of the people that participated in Oct 7
https://www.cnn.com/2024/01/26/middleeast/unrwa-fires-staff-members-october-7-attacks-intl/index.html
Anon
I agree. It pains me to say it because I used to be a huge believer in the power of international human rights ideals and institutions, but consider the source.
Anon
I love this pick!! I’m always looking for good quality basic tops that look a little nicer than a t-shirt for work.
Sara
I am terrible at riddles. I did fine on the LSAT ages and ages ago, and have an above average vocabulary, but give me a word puzzle with or without math and my brain freezes. How can I get better at this?
(“A man steals $100 from a store, buys $70 worth of items, gets $30 change. How much did the store lose?” Or “what has a head and tail but no legs?” either of those would take me several minutes.)
Anonymous
I think the only answer here is to keep solving riddles until you get better. There is nothing wrong with taking several minutes to solve riddles, though, and the ability to solve them quickly has no bearing on things like vocabulary.
Anonymous
I’m curious about why you want to get better at them? I love puzzles and will happily do word games or crosswords or sudoku or any number of other kinds of puzzles. But the kinds of riddles you quoted give me the hives. I have zero desire to develop any skill at them. I’d force myself to tackle them if I were required to for something, but otherwise, I’m happy to never deal with them.
Basically, you get better at stuff by doing it.
Anon
+1, “why?” is my question also. I have very good math and verbal skills, but these riddles give me hives too. I don’t think they’re a measure of IQ or any other skill that has relevance to the real world. But yes, if you want to get better, practice.
Cat
these pop up on my FB suggested videos all the time and I have no earthly idea why because I have never once clicked on one to watch it. but I guess I hover over them long enough to think about that it counts as attention!
if you want to get better at them, just keep practicing. They’re related to the concept of lateral thinking / creative problem solving.
Anonymous
I think that if you do want to be better at these, try pratice separating the different parts of the puzzle into pieces, and say the pieces aloud. If you both say and hear “what has a head and tail” before adding more information, you might remember coins quicker. Then use the next piece to “fact check” the first piece.
anon
OK, but why do you need to be better at these things? I also suck at riddles. I do not care. I’m good at other things.
Anon
It’s whatever the value of the $70 of items is + $30, right?
anonymous
Nope, $170, the original stolen 100 and the additional 70 in fleeced merchandise
anecdata
Nope, it’s $100 – the only thing actually stolen.
Think of it as : when the thief walks out the door, all he actually has is $70 of goods and $30 in cash (the change). He gave the original stolen $100 bill back to the cashier in exchange.
Anon
Yes. From the perspective of the store, in steps:
1) -$100 cash
2) -$70 goods
3) + $100 payment
4) -$30 change
The two $100 transactions cancel each other out so the final total is
-$100 for the store.
Anon
I agree the answer they want is $100, but it’s really $30 + the cost of the $70 worth of goods, right? What the store is selling to a consumer for $70 presumably cost them much less than that.
Cat
@1:19 – if you include lost profits, it works :)
Anonymous
As 1:19 pm said, the answer to the *riddle* is 100.
If you were to treat it as a math problem from, say an accounting perspective, you could argue for a loss of 30 and whatever lost profit from theft of the goods that made up the 70. There’s no end of extra information you could choose to take into account that hasn’t been given in the riddle, if this was to be treated as a practical problem.
The same goes for the second riddle. While the answer to the *riddle* is a coin, you could of course argue that a snake would be a correct answer to the question. It’s not a correct answer to the riddle, but that has to do with what a riddle is, not the information given. A riddle has some element of surprise, subversion or humour.
Anon
No, it’s $100. He stole the money. The purchase of the merchandise wasn’t “fleeced.” It was a normal customer-store transaction, just using the stolen $100. But the stolen money has already been counted.
Cat
Here’s my logic, lol! $100 is the answer because:
$100 stolen
$70 of the stolen money was converted into $70 of stolen goods, net zero to the store
$30 of the stolen money was just back and forth in the change drawer then returned as the same stolen $30
Anon
It’s this. All that matters is that the $100 was stolen and nothing else that happens is important. Riddles are often about confusing your assumptions and getting you to focus on what is and is not important, which I guess is an important skill, but there are probably better ways you could work on learning this. I don’t personally find them all that interesting.
Anonymous
+1
Yes, 100 is the answer.
The purchase is just there to confuse you, making it a riddle in the first place.
If you want to put an ability label on solving riddles, you could argue that critical thinking and understanding what information is relevant and what information is superfluous is part of some riddles. Others, like the doctor one, is about challenging preconceptions, so to do with imagination. Some are about understanding logic. Some do require knowledge of vocabulary and connotations.
Anon
Imagine that the thief took the stolen $100 to the store down the road and hissed it to buy $70 of merchandise and received $30 in return. That wouldn’t be stealing anything from Store 2. Likewise, if he walked into Store 1, gave them $100 for $70 with of stuff, took his $30 in change, and never stole the initial $100, none of that would be theft.
Therefore, the second half of his actions – buying stuff from the store – isn’t stealing.
Sara
Thanks to all who have replied so far – I want to better understand why I freeze up. I don’t want to win a trivia or logic game contest, but I am curious if some part of my brain (like the person who talked about creativity and problem solving) would work differently (or maybe I’d think differently?). I don’t react this way at work, when I get novel questions, but even a simple riddle seems to shut my brain down!
Anon
I think freezing up when you don’t know the answer is a common smart person/perfectionist response. I also freeze up at riddles.
anon
+1
And especially if you are prone towards anxiety.
Anon
I was in the gifted program and allegedly supposed to be good at puzzles. Nope. The fact that I was given puzzles to solve enraged me. I have no spacial awareness and am amazed at how people just seem to know where to put things in the pantry. My score on the GRE and SAT was above-average but not stellar. On the other hand, I scored in the 93 percentile on the LSAT and I am very good at litigation preparation. We all have different skills and talents.
Anonymous
The amount of people on this board who still decades later think of themselves as gifted because of a long ago academic classification is hilarious.
Anon
I mean, they probably still are whatever they were that got them labeled gifted as kids?
Anon
Wow, anon at 2:57. Why are you so bitter and jealous? I was, IN FACT, in the gifted program and I did, IN FACT, get a very high score on the LSAT. My point was despite being gifted, I was not and am not good at all intellectual tasks. I am guessing reading comprehension is one of your weaknesses?
Anonymous
For me, it’s the format of the thing that shuts me down. The math one is stated in complete sentences that require me to separate out all the facts and restate them, then think them through and make sense of them. The other one requires me to do the same process.
Plus, both of them are designed to trick and fool me, so i know I can’t take them what they say at face value and have to pick them apart looking for word play or the misdirection.
Why would I put myself through that kind of process if someone isn’t paying me to do it?
Anonymous
Riddles take me a few minutes to solve too and I’ve just accepted that’s the way it is for me.
Why is it is so important for you to figure out why you freeze up?
Anon
It’s just unfamiliarity. Try to practice as many of these as you can. And peek at the answers immediately, as soon as you’ve tried to answer it. Don’t wait to grade your answers until you’ve done a bunch. Figure out how they got the answer to each question before you move on.
Anonymous
A coin has a head and a tail but no legs.
Anon
Does anyone remember this one (from the 1980s):
Boy is in a car accident. Dad was driving. Dad is killed instantly; boy has injuries and is taken to the hospital, where it is determined he needs emergency surgery. Surgeon on call looks at the patient and says, “I can’t operate on this patient because he is my son.” What is going on?
For those too young to remember: many people, even feminists, took a beat to realize the surgeon was the boy’s mother.
Anon
Yes, I remember this one from my elementary school gifted & talented program (for some reason we did a LOT of riddles). I remember it took us a long time! And I had a mom who had a “bigger” career than my dad.
I asked my daughter the other day and she was like “uh it’s his mom or his other dad, duh!?”. Progress on multiple fronts :)
Senior Attorney
I love this!
Cat
I remember that one too. I think there was a kid’s book of lateral thinking puzzles that we did as a Friday afternoon treat in my elementary school. Another one involved a dead person and a puddle of water and the cause was an icicle.
Anon
Yes I remember that one too! We must have had the same book.
Anon
We did those, too! I remember thinking that there’s no way you can actually stab someone to death with an icicle.
Anon
Of course. Yes my dad told this one a lot when I was growing up. He was no feminist (seriously) but wanted to remind us of what was possible for us.
Anon
I mean, yes, the answer is practice, but also why?
Roth IRA Withdrawal
Curious if anyone has withdrawn a portion of their own contribution to a Roth IRA (so, penalty free). As long as you have a statement showing that you contributed at least that amount, are you good to go for your tax return or is there some other step/paperwork?
(Yes I know it’s normally not advised to withdraw retirement savings. We have two main accounts that are on target and this is a piddly one from my first employer that I poorly invested and we’ve decided withdrawing this small amount for a specific purpose is best for us right now)
Biggest balls in the room
Yes, so long as you are withdrawing your contribution and not the earnings on the contribution.
joan wilder
PSA because we always seem to have a few people on here who this applies to. MM La Fleur is offering clothing loans for women running for public office at state or local levels–you can find a link on their site to apply. Deadline it apply is Feb 7.
anon
I love that they’re doing this!
Anon
Three cheers for MM Lafleur from me! Awesome idea!
anon
Exploring new career paths. Ideas for someone who likes to interview and enjoyed blind dates before marriage? I feel like these skills should/could translate into something.
Anon
Recruiting?
Anonymous
Marketing and lobbying.
Party planner.
Tour guide.
A
Sales?
Anon
Similar thought: Fundraising
anon
This is what I’ve been doing!
Anon
Recruiting ?
New Here
Public/media relations
Anon
Investor relations? Sales? Your soft skills say extrovert and people person. What are your hard skills and educational background?
anon
I’ve wondered about biz dev. I have an MPA in non-profit management and have been in non-profits my entire career. Extensive experience in relationship management, grant writing, proofreading/editing, database management, event management…
Anon
Market research
Fallen
I am someone who enjoyed both of those things and I am incredibly happy as a therapist!
anon
I’ve thought about this!
Anon.
Something to do with customer insights? Consulting comes to mind as well.
Anon
Sales. Is there a sales role that relies on the industry knowledge you gained in your last role?
Anon
I’m ready to run a new conditioner and am looking for recommendations. I have thick, slightly wavy, course, low-porosity hair hair that is about 10% grey. My hair goals are to be smoother, shinier, and bouncier. Budget up to $20.
DC Pandas
Aussie “miracle” line and Pantene pro-v!
Anon
+1 for Aussie.
Anon
I just started using K18 molecular leave-in mask. Post again in a couple weeks, and I will report progress.
CK
I have similar hair and have been using the Kitsch Rice Bar Shampoo and Conditioner Bar since September and my hair has never been better. You can find it on amazon. Previously I had to use a bunch of steps to make my hair soft and shiny but now I just use these two products and occasionally a styling aid.
Anonymous
I have been super curious about this. Saw some conflicting reviews elsewhere. Thanks. I also love the idea of fewer bottles in the shower and cabinets, not to save the planet but just for less clutter.
Anon
Odele! I got mine at target.
Anon
Kirkland Moisture shampoo and conditioner, apparently a private label Pureology.
Occasionally I use a bond repairing mask. Mine is from Beauty Pie but the term you’re looking for is Bond Repair, you use it in place of conditioner and leave it on for longer. (For me, that’s shaving my legs.)
Anonymous
I use the shea moisture daily hydration conditioner and have also used the coconut and hibiscus and manuka honey versions. I also like the curls blueberry bliss conditioner. Curlsmith has great stuff too if you want to go up to $30.
Costa Rica
Would love some thoughts about something. I have a family of four (2 elementary aged kids). We don’t travel much and have never been out of the country. I really want to go to Costa Rica but my husband and I don’t speak Spanish. I know a lot of Americans travel there – would you think we would have trouble arriving at the airport and have difficulty finding a taxi to take us to our hotel when we don’t speak the language? Similar question in general about navigating our way around during the trip. I would want to stay in a more commercial type hotel (not anywhere remote) and do typical touristy things like easy hikes, maybe visit a waterfall. Would love any recs about hotels and excursions – my husband and I are not that adventurous or sporty but my kids are. Thanks so much for any ideas!! We would be going this summer.
Anon
I’ve only been once, but it was for a semester in college, years. My experience was that in cities and areas where tourists generally travel, everyone was very able and willing to speak to me in English. It was only in more remote areas where tourists do not generally go that I found that it was much easier to speak Spanish.
My experience is about 15 years ago now, so I don’t have any particular recommendations for hotels or excursions, sadly.
OP
Thank you, appreciate your thoughts!
One update to my post – a friend suggested the Marriott at Playa Herradura, in case anyone knows about that place or can recommend things nearby.
Anon
I don’t think you’d have a problem just getting a taxi, but you can also usually pre-arrange transport to the hotel through the hotel, and that person will definitely speak English. Same thing for activities while you’re there. Most hotels can coordinate tours and such that will definitely be in English.
Anon
When I visited Costa Rica about 10 years ago, I got along fine without speaking Spanish. Driving is interesting – the roads are not as smooth as what most are used to in the US and you’ll have a much easier time renting a car if you can drive stick. If you’re staying in a resort, you’ll be absolutely fine with no language or driving skills.
I like the west coast, personally.
An.On.
Costa Rica was very lovely and my family and I had no trouble there (albeit it was pre-COVID). We did a whitewater rafting trip and saw turtles hatching at Tortuguero (which was incredible, but also – wear closed toed shoes, there’s ants on the beach) and had no trouble walking around San Jose without knowing Spanish at all.
Anon
Nayara Gardens is amazing. Pretty sure I first heard about it here.
Anonymous
You should be fine, esp. in major cities. I always like to do an intro Pimsleur course when traveling to a place with an unfamiliar language just to be sure I have the basics. And if you are really nervous, you could go to Belize for a similar experience and that is an English-speaking country.
Anon
I have been to Costa Rica several times. As long as you stay in the tourist areas, you will have no difficulty with the language, although as with any non-English-speaking country, the people there, appreciate the effort to say at least a few pleasantries in their language.
Where to stay depends in part on how much time you have. Personally I like to divide my time between an interior location and something on the West Coast. For someone who is not an experienced travel traveler, you might want to consider the peace Lodge for your interior location. It is rather like a Disney version of Costa Rica, but it is a lot of fun for a few days . And then head to the coast for the rest of your trip
Anon
I’ve been half a dozen times to visit a friend who lives their with kids, and I think it would be an ideal location for you. I speak some Spanish but almost everyone you’d interact with in the tourism industry speaks passable to fluent English – I sent friends from the US there recently who speak no Spanish and they loved it so much they’re thinking of making it their annual family vacation.
Logistics-wise, Uber works in the more built up areas so you’d be able to get to a hotel from the airport, and any hotel would call you a taxi. Most places you’d want to go are relatively far from the main airports (San Jose and Liberia) so you’d probably be better off renting a car or getting a shuttle in advance. Driving is ok, they drive on the same side of the road as the US and the main highways are totally fine. Off the main highways it can get pretty sketchy so for the sake of not stressing I would recommend not driving yourself the first time you go, but if you do its definitely doable.
There are a ton of resorts all around the country that cater to American tourists, so for hotels you’re going to be spoiled for choice. I would look into the area around Manuel Antonio National Park (about a 3 hour drive from the San Jose airport) or the west coast beaches near Liberia (Papagayo Gulf, Tamarindo, etc). If you’re not into beaches as much there’s also a lot to do inland from Liberia – La Fortuna/Arenal volcano areas have hot springs, hikes, ziplining etc. But you’ll be able to find similar activities most touristy places in the country.
It’s a really kid-friendly place and I think you whole family would love it. Happy to answer any more specific questions you have.
Anon
My family has been there twice. My husband and I do not speak Spanish. We had no issues. Our kids take Spanish in school so we encouraged them to try it when they felt comfortable. It’s a great place to visit and we plan on returning. It’s also an easy country to navigate so consider renting a car and exploring different regions!
Anonymous
Haven’t been to Costa Rica, but just chiming in to say you can do an awful lot with Google Translate and Google Lens these days, and most major cell phone carriers have reasonably cheap international travel plans these days. And I think you’ll be fine–I’ve traveled a fair bit with just lonely planet phrasebooks in the era before data on phones and other than the one time we almost couldn’t get back to our hotel after dinner in China, I’ve never had any issues. You can do a lot with pointing to written addresses, etc.
anon
We went last year, and I would recommend pre-arranging your transportation either through the hotels or through the transportation company itself (there are plenty, just do a google search). We don’t speak Spanish and were okay 99% of the time. We went to La Fortuna and Manuel Antonio, which are two very touristy areas 3 hours from San Jose (in opposite directions). We could’ve rented a car but we hired a driver service for all of our transportation because it’s vacation and we want to be relaxed. The driver was waiting with a sign when we exited the airport. In La Fortuna it would be nice to have a car, especially if you stay up at one of the more remote resorts but we made do without. Get day passes for hot springs, the kids will like the Springs Resort & Spa because it offers additional activities like horse riding etc or Baldi for the atmosphere. Adults will enjoy Tabacon or Ecotermales. Hike the volcano trails, go see the Fortuna waterfall, or visit the Mistico hanging bridge park. There’s a ton to do in this area.
In Manuel Antonio visit the beach and the national park (bring swimsuits to the national park, the beach is even nicer there). Lots of wildlife to see. Monkeys and sloths hang out on the trees lining the beach, the locals will point them out if there’s one in the vicinity.
Cat
we travel a lot of places where we don’t speak the language and although CR hasn’t been one of them, practicing some basic phrases (greetings, farewells, common foods, how to ask for a table for 4, etc) will often be appreciated by staff!
Anon
Re Trump prosecution. Is anyone beyond dismayed at the whole Fani Willis personal drama blowing this up? There are millions of men in Atlanta — why so tied up with this one? The ATL case IMO had the most potential and now . . . I am just shaking my head.
Anon
(I haven’t seen anything in a few days – is there something new besides she appointed her lover?) Yeah, I am pretty peeved about that. Like, you couldn’t have found another attorney besides the one you were sleeping with? Under a microscope for sure and you do that kind of thing? UGH.
Anonymous
He was hardly the most qualified in town, so it definitely seems preferential – like she was trying to find a way they could spend time together when all her time was going to be spent on this prosecution. Speculating but that is my takeaway. I really don’t think it was about the money, as he likely could have charged private clients a higher rate and glad plenty of business, but who knows. And he’s probably done a fine to good job. We just don’t need this distraction and she knew better but also ATL is kind of just this way.
Anonymous
Editing to add – Though maybe not about the money specifically, it likely was about bestowing the prestige/ opportunity as well as keeping him close. Definitely preferential. But ATL politics . . .
Anon
Yes, I am livid. It’s the type of self-dealing that is painfully common in Atlanta politics (I’m a lifelong Atlantan), and to see it in this case – which I think is actually the strongest – is beyond disappointing.
Anonymous
I am local, was a big fan of her, and now I am just dismayed. I still think the issues are more relevant to allegations of corruption than to the charges in the case, but with this crowd of defendants and mouthpieces, any clown can be made into a full circus. It is just another reason for people who don’t know the substance to say “See, this is all BS and the system doesn’t work” instead of learning the underlying facts. I was surprised to find that the unsealed divorce case records did not really prove what the defense lawyer (who I sort of know) suggested they would, though.
Anon
Yes, talk about an unforced error. It’s incredibly disappointing.
Anon
I know that there are a lot of college athletes here. If you were a walk-on (not recruited), or in cross-country, can you write in a little about how that went? I played IM sports in college and loved it, was it was academics, then social life, then focusing on post-college opportunities, none of which involved mandatory practices, just showing up and playing and maybe getting a beer after. It was a great growth and friendship opportunity. I worry for kiddo that it will be too much time and distraction from studies, but friends say that it can make a new large school feel smaller and teams keep kids on a tight leash, especially with academics, realizing that non-scholarship athletes have parents who will step in also if grades dip. I want to either give support or ask questions (here, in an anon format vs annoying any coaches or being “that kid’s mom”).
Anon
I’m having a hard time understanding exactly what it is that you’re asking, but I did a collegiate sport my freshman year (I wasn’t recruited or on scholarship) and I felt that it took away too much time I wanted to spend with friends and on other activities, so I quit. I would trust your kid to make their own decision if they feel like the sport is taking over their life and not leaving room for friends and down time. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with trying it.
Anon
This!
Please be supportive and let your child give it a shot. Part of college is learning how or if to balance this stuff.
DC Pandas
I don’t think that there’s one right answer to whether or not a child would succeed on a varsity sport vs club/IM. It is so team, school, and person specific. An environment that one person would thrive in, would absolutely not be healthy for another.
As long as your kid has a good head on their shoulders, they should go after what they want and you’ll have to trust that they will drop the activity if it isn’t what they want.
Anon
I went to a D3 liberal arts college and ran cross country. I loved it – gave me a great community and was comforting to have a coach who was a stable adult figure when things got tough (like one of my parents got pretty sick). It didn’t impinge on my ability to study and do well in school. That said I didn’t run my last two years – was ready to have that time for other activities and not structure my whole weekend around races.
Anonymous
D1 or D3? How good is the team? D3 will generally be fun and supportive. Based on a friend’s experience as a non-scholarship recruited athlete at a top D1 school cross-country was a high-pressure sport full of toxic coaching and eating disorders. At these schools sports take precedence over academics whether you are on scholarship or not. Not sure about lower-tier D1 schools.
Anon
OP here and thanks — this was what I was suspecting might be the case. Club/IM sports seem to have no downside and if you forfeit a game, often the other team would send you someone so that you can still get a game in. D3 sounds great. I hadn’t considered the ED angle — yikes. Was hoping that D1 might have more of the D3 vibe in a non-money women’s sport, but just see how this unfolds. Thanks!
Anon
I have a very, very long post in mod but I am here to tell you that D1 non-money women’s sports are extremely intense and do not have a D3 vibe, even on mediocre at best teams
Anon
Club sports have no downside… except that most schools don’t offer club cross country and it sounds like that’s what your kid wants to do? I admit I do also have some friends who had bad experiences with D1 cross country, but they just dropped it and moved on to other things, and my friends who ran at D3 schools had great experiences and so did some of the D1 runners. I didn’t run in college and was really involved in the outdoors club instead, which was full of former runners. So much depends on the school, there’s not a one size fits all answer to this and you just have to trust your kid.
emeralds
Disclaimer: I did not run in college but was a competitive runner in high school, coached XC and track for a few years, and married a D1 runner. I’m also in ED recovery and EDs were rampant in my high school program, so this is an issue near and dear to my heart.
There are lower-key D1 programs but you’d have to be careful; as a parent, I would be asking probing questions about culture and ED support. If the coaches seem clueless or blow you off, run. If there is any chance your daughter could do a recruiting visit where she spends time with the girls and observes how the vibes are around food, I’d do it. Anonymous’s friend’s experience is sadly not atypical…but then the women’s team at my husband’s school appeared to be pretty chill, I’ve met lots of the women who ran on it and they appear to eat food and still enjoy running recreationally, so they do exist.
NC State might be out of reach for a walk-on, but they’re supposed to have a fantastic program from a wellness and culture perspective. I’d look at programs with a female coach if you can, it’s not a magic bullet but it helps.
Have you and your daughter read Lauren Fleshman’s memoir? I think it should be required reading for any female cross country runners (and their coaches).
Anon
OP here. Yes, I read it. I guess I am kidding myself that it’s just an elite runner problem. We are big backpackers and food = fuel is how we roll in this house.
Anon
This exactly. Only thing I will add is that she should talk to the coaches and teammates before committing to a college. D3 will be easier to walk on and be more fun, usually.
Anon
The school matters so much. I was a D1 athlete at a smaller D1 school that was much more known for its academics and social life than it was for athletics. The sport I played has no pro option and even the Olympians I know (from high school and club teams, not from college) all have day jobs.
Obviously, the experience is very, very different from IMs. Even in our non-revenue sport, we definitely went over the NCAA limit on hours at practice and mandatory team events. We practiced 6 days a week, with 3-4 days a week being two a days (usually one practice and one lift/conditioning session, but sometimes two full practices). On days with one practice, we usually practiced for 2-3 hours a day and on days with 2 practices, it was usually 3-4 hours a day. I have friends from high school who played our sport at more intense D1 schools and truly all they did was sport + school. At my school we were able to have a bit more of a social life, I had a work-study job and was in a sorority and in one club, though obviously I wasn’t very involved in either my sorority or my club.
I missed out on a lot of social activities too; I quit summer going into my senior year and had so much fun my senior year and my social life exploded (in a good way). Looking back on it, I should have quit after sophomore year. I am glad I played my sport, but I am also very glad I quit. I am still close with many friends from college, but the vast majority of those people are not teammates (I’m still close with 3 teammates, and that is it. This seems to track with my other athlete friends as well); more of my close college friends come from Greek life and friends from my freshman hall. I am very glad that my coach didn’t make freshman teammates room together and didn’t forbid us from having some involvement outside of our sport. I needed to quit my sport for my mental health, and I would have been so lost if I didn’t have friends outside of my team. That being said – the best parties I went to in college were parties held by my team. I loved parties with my other friends, but I LOVED team parties. Most of the year we were dry 6 days a week (could only go out Saturday nights) so when we had parties (only a handful of times a year) they were so fun. My sport was like XC in that the school had men’s and women’s teams and we were pretty well integrated which I think helped a lot socially (a lot of us dated each other, the men’s team held the parties, it was fun to be in a co-ed environment).
Your kid should vet the program, the coaches, and the team well. Since they’re considering walking on, they won’t have the opportunity to have an overnight official visit. My head coach was verbally and emotionally abusive (hence needing to quit for my mental health), but recruiting was mostly handled by an assistant that I adored (and still adore -though he left after my sophomore year) so I didn’t get the full feel for the team until I was already there. The assistant was also my position coach my freshman year, so I didn’t interact with the head coach that much until I was already really invested.
I think I learned excellent life lessons and gained a lot of resilience and toughness by playing college sports (that I didn’t get from high school / club sports). I work in a pretty intense / a little unconventional field and the experiences I had from college sports carried over well.
Academically – I did my best my senior year when I was not an athlete, but I also took most of my hardest classes sophomore / junior year so it’s hard to say if I was a better student because I was in easier classes or if I was a better student because I wasn’t playing a sport. Our coach was very intense about academics (he had pretty high standards and there were consequences for skipping class / not doing well in school / not making the most of the resources available to us). However, he also didn’t really promote an environment in which everyone could succeed academically (practice from 4-8 PM (with a 45 minute dinner break in the middle) one night followed by 5AM practice the next day made it hard to get HW done). Our coach kept us on a tight leash about EVERYTHING, which was probably good for some of my teammates, but it was a little weird being 21 and having so many rules compared to my other friends. I briefly dated a ROTC cadet and I don’t think we really liked each other that much – we just liked that we had someone to hang out with that also couldn’t get into shenanigans: we both had to get up too early to workout and couldn’t get in trouble or slack off because we were being held very accountable.
Looking back, I have a very love-hate experience with my time as a college athlete, but I think a lot of that is due to my coach and the culture he created. It took me years to give up having a grudge against the coach and what he did to my mental health and college experience. I loved being an athlete (and as an adult, I am a triathlete so I never gave up being a more intense than many athlete), I love my friends from the team, I loved competing, I loved having a built in network, I loved the experiences I got as a result of being an athlete. I also missed out on more time of having the classic college experience, but I am so, so glad I got one year to experience that.
I think college athletics in non-revenue sports (or those sports at non-major schools) has jumped the shark. I graduated almost a decade ago, so well before the current NIL and transfer market but obviously the vast, vast majority of college athletes are not going anywhere with their sport after college. College athletics has gone from a serious extra-curricular activity to a full time job for too many students. I come from a huge sports family (my grandfather, every aunt / uncle / my parents, me, my siblings and all of my cousins played college sports, 3 of my cousins coach college sports) and literally every one of us (except two of the coaches – though they are sending their athletes to the pros so it is different) thinks its gone too far. My one cousin was nationally ranked (individually in his event and as a team), captain of his team, very decorated in his sport; he is 9 years older than me and the change over those 9 years was wild to him. My not at all good team (at the bottom of a league known for academics and not athletics) rivaled his nationally ranked team in terms of intensity, expectations, and time commitment. Really the only option anymore (and I assume it’s gotten worse in the decade since I’ve been out) is to be fully, totally committed to your sport. I have friends who played D3 and at top D3 programs, it’s the same expectation. Which, is fine if you’ll go pro, but as I mentioned earlier, there is no pro in my sport. In my sport, its very common to graduate and never play again for the rest of your life – so why give the sport everything for four years unless its your absolute passion?
Another thing to consider, everyone I know who ran XC also ran distance in indoor and outdoor track. While every sport practices year round, it can be especially grueling to compete year round. NCAA has different rules for “in season” and “out of season” regarding hours spent practicing, but with XC you’re always in season. It’s rough on your body (even at 18-22!) to always be in season. Mentally, you never get a break either. The travel is hard. Traveling + staying on top of academics is hard.
If your kid isn’t looking at the very top level (which, being a walk on I’m guessing not), it’s not glamorous. People imagine all of the gear and other “perks” athletes get (top of the line facilities, access to tutors, meal plans), but most programs don’t have that. My high school’s facilities were way better than my college’s, we got one sweatsuit and our competition uniform and that was it gear-wise, when at school over winter / spring breaks we got $50/week for food. Sometimes practice ran late and the dining hall was closed and its as too bad, figure out dinner on your own. The level of support was very much old-school college athletics, but the expectations on us were new-school college athletics.
Growing up, my mindset was college athlete or bust but now I really don’t know if I would encourage most high school athletes to become college athletes. I don’t know – there were parts of it I really loved and experiences and growth I’m so glad I had, but I feel like most athletes sacrifice SO MUCH for not all that much in return?
Anon
Thanks for sharing all this. I feel like the stakes for kids in sports are so low that it’s easy to cross the line into negative returns and so, so hard to keep sports as the positive the used to be. I, a kid with 2 working parents, could just go reasonably try out for sports team as a bookish high school student who was in a very small orchestra. And our orchestra had some sports kids. And friends of mine walked on to D1 teams like xs and swimming at my small college that graduates CPAs and teachers, not pro athletes even from money sports. Now, it’s all work and not joy, it seems. And with parents who couldn’t fund or ferry me to sports in any intense manner, I doubt I could have been a high school participant who really enjoyed club sports like tennis and IM team sports that I did not ever play as a varsity athlete in college. This is really sad. I feel like we’ve all lost our way.
Anonymous
What? Your kid is at college. They don’t need your help to decide what activities they want to do. In what world would you even be speaking to a coach.
Anon
Huh? In my state, high school seniors are just starting to hear from schools if the are EA. ED came out before xmas. For some kids in a fall season sport, they may be seniors potentially having their last athletic event if not continuing on in college.
Anon
I know for some boys (football, especially), it’s a huge part of their life and that is now likely over forever for them. I run slowly and play tennis decently and that good thing about that is that I’m still doing it into my 40s and loving it. IDK how it would be as a 2024 kid — I don’t think I’d like it. But it’s hard to see things you love come to an end — it’s like finding a new identity for yourself.
Nesprin
+1 You’re done with this sort of thing once your kid is off to college, aside from probing questions and sparing advice.
Anon
+1. Not quite the same, but mother tried to insert herself into my decision making in college and grad school (and really into my early adulthood post school), and it really set up a rift that has deepened over time. It was mortifying, and often caused problems, rather than solved them.
I would also like to gently suggest that you will likely not know as much about Kid’s life once she goes to school. At my college, grades weren’t sent to parents (regardless of who was paying the bills), and went directly to students. If my parents wanted to know how I was doing, they had to ask me (which my mother figured out after calling the school to complain that she hadn’t gotten my first semester grades from them).
Anon
so one of my college besties did cross country at an Ivy League school. i don’t think she was recruited, though I can’t recall precisely – it was a huge part of her high school experience. she ended up quitting. she met some nice people through the team, but felt like the coaches expectations were overbearing/toxic and that it was too time consuming and made it really hard to do anything/have friends outside of the team. she still runs today for fun, and i think it was hard for her to give up that part of her identity, but she got involved in lots of other stuff on campus.
Anon
My brother was varsity HS runner who walked onto this college track team. He made friends and was really passionate about running – unfortunately a prior injury from HS XC became worse and opened the gate to other major physical and mental health issues that forced him to step away from sports and alot of physical activities (surfing, bouldering, biking etc).
His closest friendships, including business partner came from his fraternity, his major/minor and his other interests.
Anon
I was a walk on transfer at a D2 school swim team and I loved it. Gave me an immediate group of friends, some of whom didn’t become real friends and some of whom did. I also really benefitted from the structure of a sport when it came to actually studying and doing my homework. There are a lot of resources available to athletes that are not available to others, including academic/tutoring resources. And we got to register for classes first. (Also, I had at the time undiagnosed ADD and the exercise really saved me, but obviously that does not apply to everyone.)
And yeah, your kid gets to make the decision about what they do in college, not you.
Anon
Fwiw, the resources vary from school to school. I was a minor school D1 athlete (graduated 2017) and we didn’t have any of the perks you mentioned. Athletes had the same access to academic support advisors and tutors as non-athletes and there was no early registration for athletes. The only “perk” I can think of was that a local massage parlor offered a discount on sports massages to student athletes, but that wasn’t affiliated with the school.
Anon
I’ll reply as a recent mom of 2 collegiate x-country athletes. Distance running is a hard sport in college because many schools expect you to be a 3 season athlete; Fall XC, Winter indoor track and Spring outdoor track. Many sports practice year round but competing all year is difficult. It is hard on a student’s body. It is hard academically and socially. I think female runners have added diet/weight/food issues that males don’t seem to encounter to the same degree.
Neither of my kids competed past their sophomore year in college. One joined a community running club and the other took up a different sport as a hobby. They both still run but as a hobby and a way to stay fit. Neither of them run in organized races.
In both of their cases, their closest friends came from outside the XC team.
anonchicago
I’m considering a Disney cruise in early December, when I would have an almost 2 year old. I love the idea of a kid and adult friendly vacation with little planning.
First, does this make sense? Am I going to regret it?
Second, should I consider a travel agent? I’ve always booked everything on my own and considering booking through Costco, but for Disney I keep seeing that travel agents are great. They seem so spammy; does anyone have a good agency in mind?
Anon
I think an all-inclusive resort with a kids club would be much more relaxing with a kid that age. Cruise ships and 2 year olds are a tough combo.
I would not use a travel agent for a Disney cruise. When people talk about “Disney planners” they mean for the theme parks. The cruises are very easy to book online.
Anon
I think a 2 year old would be too little to appreciate all the Disney stuff? I went on a Disney cruise as a kid and I LOVED it because I was old enough to watch the movies, ride the rides at WDW, I had my favourite characters, etc. So I loved that the cruise was totally Disney-themed and you could visit the characters and so on. Unless you and your spouse are massive Disney fans yourselves, you could just book a regular cruise that comes with childcare.
Anon
Neither Disney nor regular cruises have free childcare for that age group. You’ll have to pay. There are some resorts (e.g., Beaches) that do have free childcare for kids that age, but not many.
I agree Disney cruises aren’t worth it unless you love the characters. Disney is about twice the price of Royal Caribbean and I don’t think it has better food or amenities, if you exclude the Disney character stuff.
Anon
Sorry, but a cruise with an almost 2 year old sounds like not a vacation at all. Save the Disney cruise for at least 4 or 5 yo when they can be in the kids club and experience the characters. When my kids were that age they liked climbing stairs, going on escalators, running down ramps – always moving, more than anything else. Doing that on a cruise ship…acccckkkkkkkk
Also a cruise sounds terrible in part because the cabins are so small. What do you do while kiddo is napping or asleep? I far and away prefer an Airbnb rental where you can chill in the hot tub or on the balcony with a beverage and baby monitor at that age. And/Or bring a grandparent or hire a sitter so you can go out.
Anon
Yeah 2 year olds love throwing themselves off things! I don’t think I’m an anxious parent and I didn’t have a particularly wild toddler, but cruise with a 2 year old sounds super chaotic and stressful. Meals with a toddler are also more complicated on a cruise ship. At a resort, if your kid gets antsy one parent can take them outside to play on the beach or playground while the other parent finishes up and then you can switch. In a cruise ship the only place to really go with a kid at that time of day is back to the room.
You can get a suite on a cruise ship, although it’s $$$$, and imo you’re better off taking that money to a high end resort with included childcare.
Anon
Important thing to know: kids who aren’t toilet trained aren’t allowed in the pools of cruise ships. Here is Disney’s statement of that policy:
“Swim Diapers
The United States Public Health Service requires that only children who are toilet trained are permitted to enter swimming pools and spas aboard cruise ships. Children who are not toilet trained are welcome to enjoy our kids’ wet play areas and splash zones, where they must wear swim diapers. Please note: Swim diapers are not permitted in the pools, whirlpool spas, on the AquaDuck or in the AquaLab.”
Nesprin
As a former kids swimming instructor- swim diapers are designed to let waste leak out the sides. My pool required standard diapers + plastic diaper covers to hold things in. If you’re in a pool where swim diapers are allowed, ew.
Anon
Nesprin, the point is that if the OP’s kid isn’t yet toilet trained, the family can’t go into cruise ship pools.
Almost all non-cruise ship pools allow swim diapers, and they don’t allow “waste” to “leak out the sides.” They allow urine to flow out through the diaper but are designed to keep feces in.
Anon
Swim diapers contain solid waste, they let liquid waste out. But people also pee in pools, so it’s not just toddler putting liquid waste in the pool.
Anon
Swim diapers hold poop in. I mean it still seems like it’s basically functioning as a poop teabag since the water is permeating through, so yeah it’s gross if your kid poops, but they’re normally allowed in pools.
Anon
“Poop teabag” is hilarious omg
Anon
I have been on a couple of Disney cruises because the rest of my family loves them and there are a lot of kids. It can be wonderful for the type of low stress, low, planning vacation you seem to want. However, your child is too young for it to be worth while for her. You would be better off on a non-Disney cruise since you will be paying for childcare anyway.
My recollection is that the free childcare starts at 83, but you might want to confirm that. Also, we always booked direct or through Costco. I do not see an advantage to using a travel agent for something so simple.
Anonymous Grouch
This will seem like a mean downer post, but please be cautious with this plan. As you book, be very aware of what your child will and won’t be allowed to do on the ship. I am more familiar with Royal Caribbean, where kids need to be 3 years old AND FULLY POTTY TRAINED to use the kids club. Swim diapers are NOT allowed in the pools (they are drained and refilled daily, not chemically treated like on land, so there are no chemicals to kill the poop germs). Some ships have “splash pad” areas for the diaper set, but many don’t. There may be “babysitting” available for the under-3s, but it books up quickly and is not free. You will need to bring with you EVERY diaper, wipe and change of clothes, plus extras. There is no self service laundry on the ship.
If you don’t have older kids who will appreciate (or even remember) the experience, I would wait until your child is at least old enough to enjoy the kids club and use the pool, or even better 5 or older. I understand parents are eager to start making memories with their little ones, but I’ve read so many reviews over the years bashing cruise lines for policies that parents didn’t research that “ruined” their vacations, so just trying to help you avoid that.
All that said, do use a travel agent – cruise line terms and conditions are confusing and unique to the industry, and they will help you avoid various pitfalls.
Anonymous
With a 2 year old, I’d do an all inlcusive on an island somewhere. Wait for disney until the kiddo is a little older.
cruise
we’re about to take our 2nd. Our first was with a 2.5 year old and while we loved it, vowed to not do it again until she was over 4. I think it’s entirely dependent on if your kid will nap while in the same room as you. Ours was always a horrible napper so it was hard. Also under 3 has to go to the nursery which you are charged for hourly. We had no problem with it being too full and it was $9 an hour back in 2020, but the cribs are in like a dark quiet part of a big room, so I don’t think she slept there. She loved it, but we didn’t as much. she was too little to enjoy the shows or movies. Get a room with a verandah just in case you are in there a lot. We’re not huge Disney people, and I was a bit worried about being annoyed by them, but there were plenty of normal people on the ship too.
On the travel agent piece, I want to try it next time, I’ve never heard anything but praise. my cousin used alexis@wishfulwonderingstravel.com and loved her.
Anon
Yeah I think 4-5 is the right age to do a cruise. You can leave them in the (free) kid’s area, they’re likely not napping much or can make do without it, they will be excited about shipboard entertainment and they’re calm enough that they’re not going to give you a heart attack trying to climb the ship’s railing.
We love Celebrity and have done 3 Celebrity cruises with our 7 year old. It’s much cheaper than Disney but it s more upscale than the mass market cruise lines, and we LOVE the food. There are fewer kids on board than some other cruise lines, but they have really nice kids programming that our daughter has really enjoyed.
Anon
sounds like you need a break, Mom. Just my sympathies because it really is hard to find things to do with a kid that age. Looking back at my pics, we did a lot of beach time with visits to nearby playgrounds just to let the little ones run around. Kids can poke around on a beach looking at shells or tide pools for a long time. Preferable early mornings when the sun is less strong, but a hat and great sunscreen reapplied per the label go a long way. Get kid some water shoes for this.
Preferably stay in a hotel where you can walk right out to the beach so you can nip back for nap time. I have fond memories of the place that let us order room service delivered to the patio outside our room (we insisted on a ground floor room for this reason, and the hotel kept trying to “upgrade” us to a high floor! Not an upgrade for us!)
Anon
Law student here and I have an interview with a state Supreme Court justice coming up. I have heard he is old school so I’m going full conservative (navy dress suit + pantyhose). Two questions for you ladies:
1) Regarding nail polish, is OPAQUE light pink considered conservative, or do I need to do sheer? My go-to is Essie Fiji or OPI Mod About You. Doing it myself I can get those colors perfect but sheer polish ends up looking streaky.
2) my only long wool coat is a maroon/plum colored one from Ann Taylor. It looks professional, but is obviously not the standard black/navy/charcoal. Will that be a problem that my arrival outfit has some color?
Anon
Those options would be perfectly appropriate in my jurisdiction. Good luck!
Anon
Both of those are fine, especially with nave dress suit and hose. He will be more interested in your answers to questions such as:
* why do you want to clerk
* why do you want to clerk in this court
* what is your favorite law school class and why
* least favorite and why
Etc
Anon
Oh lord.
Anon
I know.
Cat
no need for this attitude. were you never an unsure student trying to make the best possible impression and have nothing but your similarly-green peers to guess with?
your outfit, incl. opaque polish and coat, sounds great. 11:01 has good advice for prep.
Anon
+1
Anon
This. No need to be rude to a student! We were all there once!
Anon
Yes, and I feel like a state Supreme Court clerkship interview is the potentially exact place you would still be dinged for not-the-right-kind of feminine expression. It can be a very traditional environment, even in law which is still ten years behind the business world in terms of these things.
Anon
This. The best thing we can do is to help young women navigate that terrain and hope that they will grow up to be state supreme court justices who will not ding women for wearing the wrong professional-enough coat.
Anon
It’s more like where are we as a society that women are still this afraid to exist? In what world are a professional coat and a slightly different shade of nail polish potentially going to lose OP a job?
Anon
Some old judges are really conservative/sexist. Amy Chua infamously told female students to look like models when interviewing with Brett Kavanaugh! Hopefully this judge is not so sexist, but thinking aold judges might ding someone for the wrong color nails is not silly.
Anon
Unfortunately, this is still what happens in incredibly conservative workplaces. In some states (mine included), the state Supreme Court is the most conservative of all conservative spaces populated with people who have Real Opinions on how people should dress in their presence/how things should be done. I agree it shouldn’t be so strict that a woman “needs” to worry about the color of her coat or the color of her nails, but this poster is smart to be thinking about those things.
Anonymous
Sure but it is real. And I am not sure it is only real for women. I interviewed a long time ago, but in multiple instances had interviewers comment on my attire or appearance and, in doing so, commented negatively about that of other interviewees of both sexes. Those guys are still practicing and hiring.
No Face
Highly conservative professional spaces still exist. Sexism definitely still exists. She has a valid question!
I appear before some very old-school judges who developed their professional norms decades ago when law firms required suits everyday. I am absolutely the most boring version of myself there.
Anon
You obviously live in a different world. Some of the commenters here have experience with that world. It’s ok to be mad that these standards exist. But not ok to be mad at a student trying to figure it out, or the well intentioned people trying to help her.
After all, the only way we make progress is if she actually lands the role.
Anon
The person who noted the appearance requirements aren’t only for women is correct. I saw a man appear once with a gray button-front shirt with his suit (rather than white or pale blue). SO many people commented on it and how weird it was. It was noticed in a bad way. Was that right? No! But it happened.
There is absolutely sexism involved in all of this, but just noting that some of these judges and older partners have Ideas about everyone.
Anonymous
It’s not just other lawyers and judges. You need to be aware of client expectations, as well, particularly if the client is 60+, and definitely 70+.
Anon
No need to be mean. Law students are drilled by their schools that any minor misstep or error means you won’t get a job. It’s normal to be nervous and to want advice on the details, including appearance expectations.
The OP
OP/student here. There is absolutely a disconnect between how things should be and how things are, but an interview for my dream position is not the time to protest the former. I’ll only get to a place where I can change the norms if I know when to play by the rules along the way.
Really appreciate everyone’s advice and kindness.
Anon
2 — no one cares re coats
1 — I feel like there are more distracting shapes (wtf with the long pointies?) and obvious stick-on nails. You are competing with men who just have plain nails cut short. I feel like anything noticeable is likely noticeable in a negative way. So — any chips or streaks look bad. Any noticeable shape will be not good, either. Can you bear just having plain nails? Plain with a buff? Plain polish? Better plain than not well done, IMO. You’re interviewing for a job, not trying to be a fashion statement in any way.
Anon
Both the opaque nails and the coat are fine.
Unsolicited clerkship interview advice –
1) read opinions judge has authored
2) be friendly and nice to his chambers and courthouse staff – any rudeness or even shyness that comes across as aloofness will make its way to the judge
3) you’ve made it this far because you are qualified. Remember that. A lot of a chambers interview in my experience is about how well you get along with others in a close, intense working environment and how well you can receive and incorporate feedback. (At least, from the judge – if you also interview with current clerks they may be more interested in intellectual sparring/hazing a bit)
Anon
All of this.
Anon
Also, find out if any alums clerked for this justice and reach out for any advice they have. Every year, students from my law school reach out for input on the judge I clerked for (he now interviews students regularly from my law school)… And congrats. Enjoy your clerkship. It is an amazing, one of a kind experience that can give you an amazing mentor for your career. The judge I clerked for did my robing when I was appointed to the bench and I see him for lunch at least monthly.
Anon
Sheer nail polish and your coat is fine.
anonymous
I’ll give some general guidance that may help more than the shade of nail polish.
What you wear is only important such that you demonstrate you know what’s appropriate for the situation. So yes, you wear a conservative suit to interview with a judge as a law student. If you have a look that’s not so conservative, tone it down. Beyond that, it’s all fine. You aren’t interviewing with Emily Post and unless what you’re wearing is obviously distracting, no one will notice the details you’re worried about.
Focus on your content and what you’ll say in response to questions. Bring paper copies of your resume and writing samples just in case.
anonshmanon
I’m just here to say way to go for getting this interview!!! Good luck!!
Seventh Sister
I wouldn’t worry about opaque light pink polish, at all, but if it makes you feel better to do sheer or clear, go that way instead. (FWIW, I was always taught that red, pink, or sheer were all OK for conservative offices, which is probably a little archaic.) To be frank, this is not something most older men would notice, unless your nails are very long or very bright. The coat sounds nice!
As a GenX who remembers when hose was standard with skirts in offices, my strong suggestion would be to bring an extra, brand-new pair in your purse or briefcase because the one time I always get runs or holes is right before something important. If you keep it in the paper/plastic packet, no security guy at the metal detector is going to notice or care.
Have fun!
Anon
I’m a (very) elder millennial who also interviewed in hose as a law student, and absolutely second the advice about keeping a new spare pair in your bag.
Anon
My stepfather was born in 1935 and always noticed nails and nail polish. He loved a sheer white and would comment negatively on any bright or off (blue or green) color I wore! And, yes, my mother had lovely hands and long nails that she kept painted white.
Anon
Cut your nails short in case they are long right now. Everything else sounds perfect.
Prep some questions for the justice ahead of time so you make the most of your time. Follow up questions within your questions are great too.
Good luck!
Anon
Best of luck! Your outfit sounds great and I hope it goes well. I absolutely loved my clerkship, it’s an amazing experience if you get the opportunity
Anonymous
Either of those things is fine.
If it’s anything like my interview with a justice, don’t be shocked if he gives you a surprised look when you walk in and says, oh but we already have a woman I don’t need another diversity hire (I have a gender neutral name), then proceeds to talk sports at you for 10 minutes (I’m so not a sportsball person) until he gives up and says see this is why I don’t want two women. And yes this did happen in the 21st century.
Anon
ISO winter gloves. I live in the SEUS and have some fleece lined leather gloves that I use for most things. I need gloves that are more appropriate for something active like hiking/dog walking and snow/ice. In the snowstorm we had last week, I ordered some Carhartt gloves that I’ve realized are more like ski gloves… and they’re so bulky that I don’t think I would get a ton of wear out of them. I already have liner gloves that I used while running– I use them for hiking sometimes, but I need something slightly warmer and waterproof.
Anonymous
waterproof and snow/ice equal ski or snowmobile gloves here. You could look for a less bulky pair.
Anon
The Head gloves from Costco are perfect for this.
Mpls
+1 – I think I have 3 pairs (am always temporarily misplacing a pair) that I use during the “normal” cold weather of winter in MN. I like them because warm and the grips on the palm make holding things (like the steering wheel) easier than the slippery liner gloves I have. And they come in different sizes (women’s gloves always run small for me).
CK
I want to share that I’ve tried a couple of items that were recommended on this board that have worked out beautifully. The Lands End sweater tees are great! They are a little boxy but are perfect under a jacket. I have white (not see through–yay!) and grey and would love to get more if they had fun colors. I also tried the CeraVe cleansing balm and love too. I think I might even like it more than the $$$ Colleen Rothschild balm I’ve been using for a few years. What items have you tried and liked because of recommendations given here?
Anon
Vanicream Daily Facial Moisturizer has been wonderful!
I was recommended that and a similar CeraVe version and chose Vanciream since online reviews comparing the two said Vanicream was better for oil-prone skin while CeraVe was better for non-oily skin. I think I made the right choice. Glad I asked here, because I would not have selected either of these in my drugstore hunting trials.
Anon
+1 to Vanicream moisturizer. I also picked up their Vitamin C serum and so far it is the only one that hasn’t made my skin freak out so I’m excited about seeing some longer term results with my sunspots!
Anon
Oh good to hear about the vitamin C serum from Vanicream. My skin is just looking for excuses to be irritated. The Vanicream moisturizer would never.
Anon
I also started using a cleansing balm for taking off my makeup and it’s like MAGIC. I used to use makeup wipes but they created so much waste and never did a good job.
I have the Land’s End sweater tees too but I found the white way too see through.
Anon
which balm? i’m in the market to switch from wipes, and do you just use a wash cloth?
Anon
I use the Elf one. It’s super cheap on Amazon. You rub it on dry skin and then wipe off with a wet cloth. Your makeup totally disappears! I follow up with Cerave facial cleanser.
LizzieBennet
I use this too and I really like it. I have sensitive, acne-prone skin and it doesn’t irritate or break me out.
Anon
If you have an Ulta by you the Banila cleansing balm is a personal favorite and they have mini sizes which are great for travel as they don’t count as liquids! I hoard mine for air travel.
Anon
The Clinique balm is great, too.
CK
Interesting that you found the white too see through. I always wear a nude colored bra so maybe that’s why it worked for me. On another board several people recommended wearing red or pink bras to help with bra show-through on white shirts and the recommendation blew my mind but now I want to try it. One woman managed a lingerie store and said she kept white t-shirts on hand to demonstrate.
Anonymous
I have pale skin with peach undertones, and can confirm that pink, yellow and red bras are much less likely to show than beige for my skin type.
Anon
For those of you who want to try cleansing balms. I have tried them all and like lots of them, but my favorites are the Glow Recipe Papaya cleansing balm – I like a sorbet texture – and the Farmacy green clean.
NY CPA
I was the one who recommended the LE sweater tees. So glad to hear they worked out for you! :)
I was thinking of getting white but was worried about sheerness so sounds like I should give those a go next time they’re having a big sale
Anon
Someone here recommended using hijab magnets instead of sweater pins to avoid snagging and holes in your sweaters. I got some and they are perfect. Thank you to whoever suggested it. I really appreciated this tip because I didn’t even know those magnets were a thing and I so often cringed putting my big sweater pin through my sweaters.
Anon anon
Any recommendations for make up removal wipes similar to Ole Henriksen? They seem to have discontinued them and the Neutrogena ones and Target brand ones just aren’t the same. They have a smell and my skin doesn’t feel as clean, especially the glitter eye shadow and mascara.
Anon
For those of you who have increased UM/UIM coverage, what did you raise it to? Minimum liability coverage in my state is 50K. I have good health insurance (today!) but who knows in the future. I do have a disability policy outside of work, but feel under-covered here.
A relative was killed in a wreck with a judgment proof driver (no license) and car owner, and he died at the scene but the 50K the insurance tendered helped my aunt get my cousin’s house ready to sell and hold a funeral. I can’t imagine how much it would have cost had he been in the hospital, possibly needed rehab, or was disabled instead of killed.
Anon
To the maximum so that we could then add umbrella coverage.
Anon
+1 to umbrella. Everyone should have it.
But it doesn’t cover first party stuff so good that you increased your limits to the max!!
As an insurance professionals another thing I encourage people to look at are physical damage coverages – collision and comprehensive. Collision covers moving accidents to your vehicle caused by you/ your permitted drivers or potentially by others when no responsible party can be identified. It’s relatively expensive but gets cheaper as your car gets older. If you can swing it, if makes sense to carry this and have a very high deductible. Lots of people drop these coverages when they no longer have a car loan that requires them. But that means you’re SOL if your car gets totaled in an accident. I’m upper middle class with paid off cars and I carry collision with the highest deductible I can get.
Comprehensive covers things that happen to your car if you’re not driving it. A tree falls on it. Theft. Fire. Etc. It’s relatively cheap and I carry a lower deductible on it because it costs just a few dollars a month.
A lot of people don’t consider these coverages separately, but it makes sense to take a moment and think about it. Comprehensive is a great deal, IMO.
anon
+1
The max + umbrella
Confused Associate
250/500k for both BI and UM.
insurance
We have 250/500 I think that’s the highest we could get? Our premium just for that is $73 for 6 months. I think that has to go along with our higher liability coverage of 250/500/100 . We have older cars (2011, 2015), $500 deductible and a clean driving record and we pay 1,291 every 6 months. It’s high. Our area is saturated with plaintiff’s attorneys and my bff is a cop and says she’s actually surprised when people in the wrecks she works up actually have auto insurance. She also said to get dash cams.
anon
How do you deal with a coworker who is both manipulative and seems to throw people under the bus when she doesn’t get her way? Thankfully, I don’t have a ton of experience dealing with a character like this, but I need to figure out how to deal with this one.
Anonymous
Can you say more about how she’s manipulative? That would help in offering advice or anecdotal experiences. As for throwing people under the bus — first, keep good notes about where ideas come from, who said what, etc. And then (and only if you’re wanting to protest the behavior, which may or may not be a good idea for you) you can gently correct with factual, disinterested statements. “In meeting X, Sarah mentioned she was concerned about this outcome.” That kind of thing.
Hawaii with Kids
Maybe in a little late, but West Coast ‘rettes are probably the most likely to answer, so, I’m looking for Hawaii resort recs for a multi-generational family vacation. Two grandparents (mid/late 60s, active), husband and me, two kids (2 and 5). We’ve been to and loved Maui, but never with kids, and so something on Maui would be our ideal, but open to other islands too if someone has a great recommendation. Grandparents will do some childcare for us, but I think we’d probably also like a kids club (if this isn’t worthwhile, tell me! We’re new to having a kid old enough for this).
We want beachfront and a pool, and we recognize that this will be spendy. We went to Andaz Maui in Wailea without our kids last summer and are comfortable with other resorts up to that basic price range.
Anon
Check out the Grand Hyatt on Kauai. The most gorgeous lobby I’ve ever seen. And they have a lazy river down the hill, it’s so nice.
Anon
Mauna Kea or Westin in Big Island! Mauna Kea has the most gorgeous beach I’ve been to in any island in Hawaii, and is a very luxurious resort.
Anon
Oahu is not my favorite Hawaiian island in general but is my favorite island for that age group. Being near a major city (Honolulu) has a lot of conveniences with little kids, including playgrounds, the ability to order food delivery and being able to run out quickly for a CVS if you need medicine or something like that. My preschoolers loved the Byodo-In temple (with koi and ducks to feed) and the Dole Plantation. And of course the beaches. There are lots of calm ones on Oahu, including a beach (Laniakea) where you can see turtles without getting in the water.
I don’t have a specific hotel rec, since we stayed in a condo on Waikiki Beach. I’m not normally a big Airbnb person and prefer the service and amenities of a hotel, but that condo was fabulous. It was on the ~30th floor and had the most incredible sunset views over Diamond Head. That trip was the most relaxing one I ever took with a kid under the age of 5.
Anonymous Canadian
The Sheraton Maui is in a gorgeous location. On the other side of Black Rock is the Westin Kaanapali Villas.
Next door just to the south is Kaanapali Beach Resort which is in a great location but probably not as fancy.
I’m not sure how the price would compare with your Wailea resort but we sure love the location there. Lots of grounds for little kids to run around, not big towers in the hotels. Not sure there’s a kids club at any but I can recommend an amazing babysitting service if you were interested. We kept ours with us through the day when they were tiny but we (and folks we travelled with) had an amazing sitters every night through Happy Kids Maui – they offer services during the day too. Every sitter we had from them was fantastic, although we are still friends with our personal favourite, long after the kids are grown and gone.