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Suit of the Week: Ann Taylor

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womens-suits-1For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. So when I first wrote the intro to this feature — about suits often being the easiest thing to throw on in the morning — I was actually thinking of a few specific suits of mine that I wore to death, one of which was nearly identical to this Ann Taylor suit. (In fact my old suit was also from Ann Taylor.)  This odd color is technically a brown, I guess, but every other “brown suit” I owned languished in the back of my closet — so let's call it a browney purpley gray. Whatever you call it, I wore this thing all. the. time. Mostly with white or black tops, sure, but I always felt pulled together and somehow more stylish than I did in my black, navy, or gray suits. This one is on a deep discount today — the jacket was $198, was then marked to $160, but you can take an extra 40% off sale styles today, bringing the jacket down even more. The skirt (sadly, they don't offer matching pants) was $108, then marked to $89, but you can take a full 50% off dresses and skirts with code GETCHIC. Both pieces are available in regular and petites, sizes 0-18; both pieces are available exclusively online. With discounts, the jacket (Tropical Wool Rhodes Jacket) is $95, and the skirt (Tropical Wool Pencil Skirt) is $45.
womens-suits-2  womens-suits-3
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Sales of note for 3/15/25:

  • Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off
  • Ann Taylor – 40% off everything + free shipping
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – Extra 30% off women's styles + spring break styles on sale
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off 3 styles + 50% off clearance
  • M.M.LaFleur – Friends and family sale, 20% off with code; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off 1 item + 30% off everything else (includes markdowns, already 25% off)

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

148 Comments

  1. Super cute! Need to remind myself that as much as I’d like it to, my lifestyle does not require suits.

    2. Agreed! I’m torn, but suits just aren’t necessary for me. My office is business casual, and I feel like a dress + blazer would also be totally fine for an interview for me. That said, this one is cute, and I feel like you could also get separate use out of both the blouse and skirt. I do sometimes pick up the odd suit if it’s cute enough and the price is right though.

  2. I really like this! But it is SO much more expensive in Canada – sad face. Except my credit card is probably better off…

  3. Any suggestions for a mid to late summer weekend getaway vacation for two people on the east coast and one on the west?

    The group collectively has been to/lived in most of the states in the continental US but am open to suggestions of new places we haven’t thought of, or international locations feasible for a weekend trip.

    1. Not New Orleans. Worst time of year to come here. The height of hurricane season and the worst heat and humidity.

      1. I’m always amazed at the crowds that come to Florida in the summer, particularly to walk around on pavement at Disney. It’s too darn hot, especially since it does not cool off at night. You can step outside early in the morning and get a breath of warm air.

        1. I like going to Miami during the summer. It is hot but not too bad if you’re spending most of the daytime hours in the water. Prices are also much cheaper.

        2. Agreed! Disney is good during the 2-4th weeks in January!

          What about somewhere in Colorado? The hiking is fantastic and Boulder is a fun place to just hang out.

    2. Northern Minnesota? Fly into MSP (about 3 hours from either coast) and then 2 hours north to Duluth, or 3 hours to the Brainerd Lakes area? Boating, golf, state parks, fishing, and general laying about. The Brainerd lakes area has some nice resorts – they might even have shuttles from the airport?

    4. Red River gorge and the Kentucky bluegrass
      Stay at Gratz Inn in Lexington and poke around its historic neighborhood Friday night.
      Saturday go to Red River Gorge for zip lining, hiking, rock climbing, go to the Atomic Cafe that night.
      Sunday morning go bike riding on country lanes in the Bluegrass, past horse farms if you are into rental bikes, or just take a drive. Go to the Horse Park outside Lexington or do a horse farm tour, then fly out.

      1. Second this suggestion. I did a roadtrip through this region in early summer after I graduated college and had a wonderful time. It is just beautiful.

      2. You can use Lexington’s Bluegrass airport, or drive a little over an hour from either Cincinnati or Louisville. Going to Louisville, you could choose to go backroads past horse farms, which are pretty and restful. You could make a horse farm tour in Versailles be a stop en route to the Loiusville airport.

      3. I third this idea. You can also tour the distilleries and wineries in the Lexington/Central KY area. There’s so much to do around there.

        So glad to see all the love for KY! I went to law school at the University of Kentucky and I think that region is often overlooked.

    5. Hershey, PA. I know it’s a wacky suggestion but it really is a nice place. Since it’s just a weekend you could splurge on the Hotel Hershey which is a really unique hotel. They have a spa with treatments for men and women (which gets booked up insanely fast which tells you how good it is). Besides Hersheypark and Chocolate world, there’s a rose garden that is really worth visiting and you are close to PA dutch country so you can go see amish people and do some agritourism if that’s your thing. Hershey is my hometown and it’s really lovely in the late summer.

    7. Are you outdoorsy? Southern Utah in September/October is stunning, warm enough for shirtsleeves but won’t kill you, and the crowds are mostly gone.

    8. What are you looking to do during the trip? Michigan is beautiful during the summer, and there are various festivals almost every weekend. Ann Arbor is only 30 mins from the Detroit airport, which has direct flights to most major cities on the East and West coast. Other suggestions include Traverse City, Mackinac Island, Lake Michigan, etc. I’ve also heard Madison is great, though I’ve never been.

    9. this may sound crazy, but what about Austin, TX?

      it’ll be hotter than balls. but I had a really great summer living in Austin working for the governor’s office. I ate a lot of Tex-Mex went to a lot of live music and drank a lot of margaritas. It’s also somewhat equidistant.

      I’d also suggest Chicago, because they have a lot of great summer festivals, and the weather can be really awesome.

  4. just broke my shopping ban to purchase. with taxes and shipping (boo no free shipping) it came to $162.28. i recently cleaned out my closet and realized that i have no suits even close to this color, and have very few skirt suits, even though i actually like them a lot. im going to tally this in the win column! :)

    3. I love this color (and agree that there is such a thing as a purpley brown) and couldn’t resist. While I was shopping, the skirt disappeared from my bag as out of stock in my size. So I went with the jacket and dress and tried to check out but forgot my AT password. In the minute and a half it took to re-set it, the sheath dress was gone! Gah, which one of you sniped my 14P?

      I hadn’t intended to buy a suit today, and certainly have other things to spend money on right now (son about to graduate HS, two sick cats with crazy vet bills, etc.,) but now I am unreasonably disappointed. I should go back and read about investments and consider myself better off, right?

      1. I’ve decided that the only way for me to enforce a shopping ban on myself unless it is a specific item I need that is on a list I keep is to make myself pay the same amount extra to my student loans. So the $130 I spent at The Limited last weekend is resulting in an extra $130 payment to the student loan people. Hopefully it will force me to think harder about buying things and if I decide its worth it then I’m also doing something good for myself by paying my loans a but quicker.

        2. ooooo I’m going to do this! or maybe split it between student loans and the honeymoon fund….

          2. i know it is cliche, but we are leaning towards hawaii. we want to go somewhere tropical, and most of the caribbean is hurricane-y (September) and future hubs can’t do a super long flight, so it is looking like our best bet. the upside is, we have never been there so its a new place to explore and i think we found a few spots where it should be relatively quiet and low key. plus, i have heard that september has good weather, but is sort of in the low season for hawaii. any recs are much appreciated!

    4. OMG! I LOVE this SUIT! I have to get dad’s permission, but I totaly LOVE this Ann Taylor suit, and I already HAVE perfect pump’s to GO with it, so it is a good buy. I will show this to the manageing partner and hopefulley he will go a long for REIMBURESEMENT with ME! YAY!!!!!

      I can wear this both in the Summer and the Winter, and if I stay slim, I will NOT look dumpey, which is what Dad said about me at New Year’s. FOOEY on him! Now he is grumbeling about the firm’s book’s but did NOT get into it w/me, but he did like Zaro’s. Whenever he come’s in to Penn Station, he ALWAYS goe’s RIGHT to Zaro’s. So at least I made him happy by walkeing him back there today. He did not like it when we passed Crumb’s. He said that he saw a few of those cupcakes on my tuchus! Fooey on Dad!

  5. I’m not feeling the sleeves. They’re supposed to be 3/4″ sleeves, but she looks like her arms are just too long for the jacket (story of my life)

    3. Meanwhile, T-Rex-armed me counts this as a huge plus! The sleeves will probably hit me exactly where long sleeves are supposed to hit!

      1. This is what I was going to say. Love 3/4 sleeves, saves me the cost of tailoring. But, sadly, the skirt does not come in my size. I guess my wallet should be relieved.

  6. Threadjack: I bought a black Cole Haan hobo from an outlet two years ago and have been using it daily ever since. It’s begun to sag a lot when I put it down, which means it look much less “nice” than it used to when I first purchased it. Is this because of the way I’ve been caring for it — for example, it’s rarely more than half-full? Or is this just inevitable wear and tear? I loved this purse when I bought it, and even though it only cost $100, I was hoping it would last me five years.

  7. I enjoyed talking about food yesterday, so I’m going to ask another question – what is one thing that you always end up ordering when you see it on a menu?

    For me, it’s eggs benny and creme brulee. I love those two dishes, and they’re so much work that I’d never put in the effort at home.

      1. Ditto. French toast is my test food for anywhere that serves breakfast so I always order it on at least my first time there.

        Creme brûlée too. I can bake but have difficulty with custards so I’ve never been able to master making creme brûlée.

    2. Also creme brulee, if I’m going for desserts.

      And any salad with beets and chevre.

      1. I’m a sucker for anything with goat cheese :)

        Other things I have trouble passing up at restaurants: falafel, salmon, scallops, and dishes with kalamata olives.

      2. Ditto salads with beets. I love beets but find roasting and peeling them myself way too time-consuming.

      3. Those are my two weak spots, too. Extra bonus if the beet/goat cheese salad also involves some type of candied nuts (pecans especially), and if the creme brulee is vanilla-flavoured.

        If there’s no creme brulee, I’m a sucker for gelato.

    4. Steak frites! I never make myself fries and don’t go to fast food, and rarely make red meat, so I love getting it. :)

      Sadly, I am almost always disappointed in restaurant desserts.

      1. I’m with you. Steak frites, or fried chicken. I don’t know how to fry, and think it would be dangerous to learn how, both from a fire safety and calorie-safety perspective.

        I am also invariably disappointed in restaurant desserts. I’d rather get a tricky cocktail made with all sorts of ridiculous infusions and tinctures!

    5. Scallops, anything with avocado. Both are plenty easy to prepare at home but I still cave. I like poached egg dishes too and have a hard time getting it right at home.

      One thing I almost never get is a steak (unless at a fancy steak place). I am usually happy to buy and cook that myself.

      1. +1 for scallops out and steak at home. I never seem to get scallops right at home, so I always order out. Actually, I feel this way about most seafood. Always better at a restaurant (not sure what that says about my cooking…)

      1. +1!

        I love hash, but the effort to make it properly crispy at home with all the soaking and whatnot takes the enjoyment out of it. I love getting hash at brunch.

    7. Depends on the type of restaurant, but:
      At Italian places, I’m a sucker for a homemade tagliatelle with cinghiale (wild boar) sauce if available or bolognese if not.
      At chinese/asian places I am required by law to order the dumplings.
      At breakfast places, I’m a sucker for eggs benny also, especially if they’re kind of odd eggs benny (around here eggs benedict made with corned beef hash is really popular and I lOVE it.)

      And for dessert, I must order anything that includes kind of a savory twist or candied bacon. It is TCFKAG law.

    8. I’m all over eggs benny or pretty much anything with hollandaise. Scallops and avocado too, as long as its actual avocado and not “guacamole spread” with little avocado. I’ve stopped ordering 2 of my favorite foods though – I’ve never had a decent crabcake or anything “crab stuffed” outside of Maryland, and asparagus in restaurants is not even worth comparing to fresh cut asparagus – lightly steamed, or even raw straight from the ground, with no fancy sauces, nothing can beat fresh cut asparagus (can you tell I am way too excited that its almost the season for it?)

    10. Def eggs benny or stuffed french toast. A good crab cake in MD (live in MD but never make them at home).

    11. This is so much less fun than everyone elses’ answers, but I always end up ordering salads with apples, goat cheese, and almonds (they often seem to have “california” in the name). I’m a vegetarian and usually try to stay away from heavy pastas and such at restaurants, and when I see this option I’m always for some reason I always see it and think “gee, how yummy and refreshing!,” even though they always end up tasting the same everywhere!

      1. I love bread pudding. I once got a chocolate bread pudding for a friend’s birthday and she said, “this does not look appealing, I am only eating it because it is so amazingly good.” It’s definitely the most humdrum looking desert but oh my god, so good.

        For things I will always order: anything with mushrooms; arepas; oysters; lobster roll.

    13. Fried things and fish. I hate cooking them in my apartment because the whole apartment will stink up–also, it keeps me from eating too many fried foods since I don’t cook it.

    14. My kicks right now are:

      Steak salad – you know, salad with steak on it

      Fish tacos (which isn’t too often as I am very land locked)

      Sticky toffee pudding or carrot cake for dessert – as long as the carrot cake has tons of cream cheese frosting, that is. Of course, I also love classic creme brulee.

      1. I hear Boyd’s Lobster Shop or Blu Seafood & Market are pretty good in our city, but yes, good fish is really hard to find here.

        And yes! Sticky Toffee Pudding. All our Christmas luncheons at the firm had them, and I swear, I’d only eat salad and sticky toffee pudding, that stuff is addictive.

    15. Mine are also eggs benedict and creme brulee. Always and without fail. I’m also heavily swayed by items that have avocado in them (it’s usually a burger that’s topped with avocado).

    16. Mostly things that are too gluttonous or difficult to perfect at home – Monte Cristo sandwiches, choucroute garnie, hash browns. I worked in restaurant kitchens for a time before going back to school and that has left me with more things that I will never order.

      1. What won’t you order? As much as I love them, eggs benedict always give me pause because of the Kitchen Confidential book.

        1. Salads, because the dressing is usually from a bottle and they’re overpriced. Soups, because they’re usually from a bag. Stews are made from leftovers. Corned beef hash uses the stuff from the can 99.9%of the time (I will still eat this sometimes). Pancakes at cheaper breakfast places are absolutely soaked with liquid butter, and the omelettes are probably made with egg beaters. Fish and shellfish and other delicious sea creatures, unless I know the place, am at the coast, or make it myself. Also, anything with truffle oil….that stuff is usually artificially flavored and is applied with a heavy hand. Smells like feet and tastes like farts. Wine is usually grievously overpriced as well. Any restaurant that offers a decent selection at a good price has a corresponding high corkage fee, so that’s easy enough to figure out.

    17. Like TCFKAG, if I see it, I must order homemade pasta at Italian places and homemade noodles at Chinese places. I hunt down restaurants specifically for these things. Also, housemade fruit pie/cobbler/crisp/betty/buckle with in-season fruit. There’s also a high likelihood of me ordering bread pudding if it doesn’t sound super sweet.

    18. Fish tacos — because they always have fun salsas and other ingredients on them at restaurants, kind of a pain to pull together at home.

      Bananas Foster — I don’t have a dessert torch on hand in my kitchen.

      Also, I never replied to yesterday’s thread but: Cool Ranch Doritos are the most embarrassing food on the planet and yet I big pink puffy heart them.

    19. For me, anything with truffles. Also I will order seafood (scallops and crab, mainly) because I won’t cook them at home. Not because I can’t but because they don’t keep.

      Like others, certain things always appeal to me – like a beet salad with goat cheese.

      1. Oh my god there’s a pizza place near me that does the BEST most interesting beet salad with goat cheese. I love it because its delicious and different (and I love me some beet salad with goat cheese.) I’m going to have to go order it now.

      2. i second the “anything with beets and goat cheese.” or just goat cheese. like many, i tend to order things that i’m too lazy to make at home: creme brulee, fried things, and anything with ALL the components (salad nicoise, i’m looking at you). oh also: ahi.

    20. Late, but I had to respond to the food thread! Since I started dating someone who doesn’t eat red meat/pork (and therefore rarely have it at home anymore), I usually order it when I’m out. Short ribs, pork belly, lamb (also on the no go list), etc. The other meat I usually order is duck. Both the bf and I love it, but there’s nowhere good to buy it in my small city. Definitely crab in Maryland.

      For desserts, it’s flan (never make it) and bread pudding (love making it, but nobody else likes it as much as I do). Tres leches cake is another new fav.

      1. Oh yes, duck. I never make duck at home and am highly likely to order it when eating out.

    22. Panna Cotta for dessert, or local lamb. If I’m in Hawaii, Kahlua pig nachos on fried wontons.

  8. I wish I had a reason to wear suits and that I hadn’t given up brown to simplify my wardrobe, because I really like this one. I had to giggle at the “browney purpley gray” description – I got into an argument once with a color scientist after referring to a similar color as “purpley brown” – he kept insisting that brown is technically defined as dark dark orange (red+yellow+black), so “purpley brown” was an oxymoronic term. But when pressed, he couldn’t come up with a better way to describe the color himself and he eventually just stomped off in a huff. I love this color myself, even if there isn’t a great way to describe it since it isn’t really brown and it isn’t really gray but somewhere inbetween, but pretty.

    1. I usually use “mushroom” to describe this color- I have a pashmina type scarf in it and it really goes with everything.

      How exactly does one become a color scientist btw? That sounds awesome, whatever it is.

      1. Color science is a specialised skill – there are formal programs ranging from associates/certificate programs all the way to PhDs. One of the best known programs is at Rochester Institute of Technology ( http://www.cis.rit.edu/mcsl/ )- which, not coincidentally, is right by Kodak headquarters. Heavy duty color science involves a lot of math, and no, color scientists don’t get to name the crayons or paint chips – that is all done by marketing people. Its pretty fascinating to me, but I’m dorky like that :-)

        I should add that we were working in a group where colors were defined by instrumental readings, and the instrumental reading would define what category we were in. So we were being told by artists and designers that they wanted brown, but when measured with the instrument, we were no longer in the “brown” range of color space as the color scientists defined it (even though reasonable people like you and I would look at it and say “brown” or “purpley brown”). We eventually settled that even though we had crossed over into the official “purple/gray” territory, if we all agreed it was the correct color we were going for who cared what name you called it. It was a lot of back and forth between artsy people (make it “less muddy” and “warmer”) and technical people (“‘Huh? Just tell me lighter, darker, more/less red – I need non-subjective terms!”) before we finally made all parties happy, with lots of confusion along the way.

      2. There is a very unattractive word for this color: Puce.

        From Wikipedia:
        Puce (often misspelled as “puse”, “peuse” or “peuce”) is defined in the United States as a brownish-purple color. [1] In the UK, it is defined as a purple brown or a dark red [2]. In France, where it was invented, it is described as a rather dark reddish brown

        The color originated in the late 18th century in France. It became popular at the Court of Louis XVI, and was said to be a favorite color of Marie Antoinette, though there are no portraits of her wearing it.

        I wouldn’t consider this suit reddish brown though. Mushroom, yes.

    2. I thought brown could be made several ways (by mixing color opposites). So you could totally have a purple-y brown by making a brown with more purple and less yellow.

        1. sorry I had to nerd out on my collegiate level mandatory art class knowledge that I have kept a hold of primarily for wardrobe purposes.

          1. So brown is a combination of all 3 primary colors (red, blue, yellow) and favoring one or two of those over the others gives you the different types of brown available.

          3. If you really want to nerd out – imagine this – the whole “you can make any color by mixing the 3 primary colors together” thing that we were all taught in elementary school is a complete myth! My mind was blown when I first heard that, but its true. Long long scientific and color theory explanation on handprint dot com (I can’t find the exact link where I first read it, but there is lots and lots of info there to prove it). Short answer here: http://www.wikihow.com/Mix-Colors
            Basically, the primary colors are magenta, cyan and yellow, like in your inkjet printer. Bizzare but true. And even then there are some colors that are virtually impossible to get right with just those three (which is why inkjet printers can’t print the same deep violet/purple as on your screen).

            Ok, enough being a color nerd for me. But I still want this suit, but I still have no reason to wear it and no room in the budget for it. But maybe someday I could justify it ….

      2. Merabella, Meg Murry – I just have to say that this is one of the most interesting/fun things I have read on thissite. Thank you!

        1. Thanks hk, I love sharing my geek knowledge. Especially since its really only a small part of my job, and therefore enjoyable to me – I don’t think I could even do hard core color science all day, but its really interesting in small doses. And a lot of the color scientists and color technicians I’ve worked with have been the most passionate, interesting people when it comes to their work, and really patient with teaching me.
          Relating back to our discussion on “what did you love to do as a kid” and translating it to a job. I used to think there was nothing relevent, but then when I was being trained in color the person training me admitted that he had resisted going into color at first, but when he did he realized that his favorite thing as a kid was finger paint and mixing together playdough colors. For me, I loved dying Easter Eggs and mixing together the leftover dyes together in ratios to make new colors and playing with food coloring in general – so that at least is one part of my job that relates to something I liked as a kid, even if its a tiny obscure thing.

    1. we have something similar and have used it like once in 10 years. It really doesn’t hold much compared to how bulky it is, and suits/dressy clothes seem to hold up decently in the little fold-out mesh thingie that is in our regular wheelie bag which is much more all-around practical.

    2. If I was choosing I’d choose a regular rolling bag with one of those foldable garment bags that he can tuck into his luggage. That way its most useful for both business and fun travel. Plus can easily fit other items as well (I know my DH has to fit things like shoes and laptops and other things that might not be as easy to fit into the folding garment bag.)

      1. Second the regular with the tri-fold suit protector. I have the Samsonite spinner with sturdier wheels and love it.

        Don’t think the garment bag will fit the requirements/and it will be a pain to try to get up the aisle in a plane.

    3. Con – if this is the only piece of luggage he’ll be bringing, and he’s athletically-inclined, it simply isn’t big enough for a suit plus shirt(s), enough athletic clothes for a weekend of workouts (including shoes), plus regular clothes and toiletries. The small Delsey rolling suitcase (carry-on size) would be a better option.

      1. I have one of those, though not as nice. It works well for my suits, though I do try to roll them up right before getting in the cab, and unroll them as soon as I can when I get to my destination. I like it because I am a total overpacker, but I can fit everything in this and my carry on.

    5. Bought my husband a Tumi and he loves it as his carry-on for work. It is super light and usually fits just enough clothes for a few days. Link to follow.

      1. Tumi is so good with service, too. My husband has had zippers replaced and actual replacement when tears occurred to pieces that were years old.

    6. do not get a two weel garment bag. I bought one and had to return it after taking a trip.
      The garment bag is too wide to go through aisle on the airplane, unless turned sideways, but wiht only 2 wheels, it cannot be rolled sideways so hell have to pick it up and carry.

    7. Check out filson. My husband has the briefcase thing and the small duffle. It’s a great size for a carryon and a classic American piece that will last for years. Bonus points is that filson is really on trend right now.

  10. Tagging onto the marathon discussion from yesterday…

    I signed up for a marathon in November! I’ve done several halfs, but have always trained kind of half-heartedly (ha). I am excited to step my game up to train for the full.

    One thing that I know I need to do is get serious about some strength training. Does anyone have any good suggestions of strength DVDs or other at-home workouts designed for runners? I have the Insanity and 30-day Shred videos, but I’d love to find something tailored more toward building strength for running.

    Thanks!

    1. Congrats! My progress has been, um, downloading the suggested running apps. AND I’m planning to go get shoes tonight so… baby steps?

      I do plan on registering for a 10K and a half in the fall, though. Good luck to you!

      1. Moments, you posted that you are in Boston. I have run the Footrace for the Fallen (5k) in Manchester, NH before. It is a great intro to road racing. The course is flat and is full of law enforcement. Some of them run in teams and yell cadence throughout so it is really motivating. If you look on cool runnings, the top finishing times aren’t all that competitive and many people walk it. It is in October each year. I plan to run it this fall and doing couch to 5k app to get back into it. My goal is to increase my 5k speed rather than my distance.

        1. Thanks! I will look into that one. I think signing up for stuff will have to be what I use to keep myself motivated throughout – I have two 5Ks scheduled for the summer and am now looking at what/how to build a fall calendar. I haven’t even begun to tackle how to stay motivated enough to run in the winter though…. sigh.

      2. Thanks, MOA! It was actually your post that encouraged me to finally pull the trigger and sign up. Hope we can keep each other posted on the journey!

    1. I have this suitcase. It’s rather small. Unless you frequently travel internationally, I’d go with the continental size.

  12. Reality check: Is this inappropriate? Opposing counsel just sent an email saying stop bothering the court with silly issues, “Time to strap it on and get ‘er done.” Is that super inappropriate, or am I reading too much into it?

    1. I hate the get ‘er done. I never know what it actually means, but it sounds not good

    2. Wow, that’s completely inappropriate and warrants a reply saying so or, at the very least, asking for a more professional tone in future communications.

    3. *facepalm*

      Yea, it’s inappropriate. Maybe, *maybe* if this opposing counsel happens to be your best friend and that’s how you usually talk with each other in emails, then fine. Otherwise, no.

    5. Maybe this is the SF in me but strap on what exactly? A strap-on? What is he hoping you’ll do with it?Or is it just that one requires a faux ph*llus in order to get something done?

      2. Yeah, I was almost embarrassed to say that’s what it made me think of. Then I realized maybe it could be a chin strap, like with a football helmet. But it sure did sound s*xu*l to me!

    6. This reminds me of my favorite from that corporate meeting tumblr that was popular a while ago, “let’s slap this squid on the belly and make some ink!”

      Yea, I don’t have anything more material to contribute.

    8. I see how this could be interpreted se*ually, but unless I’m missing something I don’t think that’s necessarily the case. My dad jokingly says “git ‘er done,” and I’m pretty sure he’s not making a specific reference. (If I ever heard him make a s*x joke, I would die of shock.) Similarly, I would have assumed “strap it on” didn’t mean to strap a specific something on. I don’t know where the phrase came from, but there are non-se*ual things you can strap on, such as a helmet or seatbelt. That said, this might be a common se*ual reference I just haven’t heard.

      1. Ok, I googled it. Apparently this is the name of a song by the alt metal band Helmet. More relevantly for our purposes, a word reference forum series of answers said it sounded vaguely se*ual but that people interpreted it to mean “to commit oneself fully to something.” This would make sense in your context.

    9. Just asked DH. He grew up in the deep southis a south and has informed me “it’s not sexual, it’s hillbilly.” his guess is the”it” being strapped on is either a saddle or a firearm.

    10. I got caught up reading everyone else’s replies (and I don’t know if you’re still checking) but it’s a southern/midwestern hick/hillbilly thing that generally just means “buck up and make something happen.” As a previous commenter suggested, “strap it on” may mean a saddle or a firearm but I’ve always heard it used as referring to chaps and other horse riding gear. Definitely worth calling him out on it, especially if you’re in a major city, but no need to be offended.
      (Also I love that there are like a dozen comments on this.)

  13. I hate it when I don’t bring enough snacks to work. I will do better tomorrow because tonight is grocery shopping night.

    1. Yep, I was just ruing the fact my snack drawer is completely depleted and I have 3 hours to go.

    2. I sacrificed my office chocolate to the weather gods this afternoon. We had crazy weather – wind and rain so wild you couldn’t walk outside. A tornado warning where we were warned to immediately take shelter. We all moved to the interior of the first floor so I brought chocolate.

    3. One of the nicest things about my new office are the 2 giant bowls of apples / bananas they keep in the kitchen, along with lots of tea / coffee choices and hot chocolate packets. Thank goodness.

  14. I have a sweater in this same brown-gray-purple-taupe color that is my favorite, always loooks good and matches everything. It was from H&M about 10 years ago and wears like iron. I’ve been looking for other pieces the same color and may have to get this!

  15. I’m sure it is too late for this, but I wanted to throw 2 things out there. First, my new in house spot is still AMAZING, even though I was terrified when they were hiring the new department head for risk management in my region. She turns out to also be super amazing. So that’s great. Finally, my professional life is FUN!

    The bad thing is my personal life. The glowing sunshine workplace has really thown into stark contrast what is going on at home. No kids yet (and not TTC), but my husband and I have been married for 6 years and together for 15. We have our normal arguments that have gone down to almost nothing, but what is killing us is my MIL. I think I’ve said before that FIL had an accident (fell off his roof while replacing it himself at age 60 against everyone’s recommendations) about 4 years ago which left him in a permanently vegetative state, and MIL is caring for him at home (just a feeding tube and several times-per-day-meds, no vent) with various nurse and other help.

    Husband and FIL owned their business together. After the accident, we found that the tax forms husband was carefully preparing for FIL and mailing to him for signature weren’t being filed, nor were FIL’s own taxes…for like 3 years before the accident!!! Needless to say, it has taken us this long to untangle the CA Franchise Tax Board and the IRS, which we’ve done, signed a settlement agreement (CA tax board employees actually showed up at MIL’s house to verify FIL’s state. Their reaction was great.) and are just waiting for the final paperwork. Anyway, we’re about done but these things get processed at…well…the speed of the IRS! They keep auto-levying any account with my FIL’s name on it…which includes one of my SIL’s accounts. She’s 28, this has been happening for a year, and she is “too busy” (working 3 days per week and life-guarding on the other days) to open her own bank account.

    Yesterday, she had a check mailed from her work (SF area) to MIL’s house (several hours away) and then had MIL 1) hire someone to watch FIL so 2) MIL could go deposit SIL’s check into…the account with FIL’s name on it!!! Immediate levy. At 8pm last night, MIL starts calling…and called about 6 times while we were at the gym. Husband calls back to be told this story. Instead of saying, “well, we’re working on it but it could be a week or two until she gets it back, you were all on notice” spends the next 45 minutes on the phone to his absolutely.hysterical mother. Basically she has completely disregarded all of the work he has done to get this fixed (and if you’ve ever had to untangle IRS mess, it’s 100s of hours) and says she “needs an attorney just to tell her progress is being made.” At this point I can’t help myself, and yell across the car “progress is being made!!”

    Anyway the end of the story is 1) 3 weeks ago I asked husband to set reasonable boundaries and to explain to MIL that she is welcome to call, but can’t be screaming, hysterical, or after 8pm (he gets up at 5:30am to go work with giant live electrical panels. Not safe) unless it is an emergency; 2) ask MIL not to call 15 times in a row unless someone is dying 3) Reiterate to MIL that none of this is husband’s fault, and she should be appreciative of all the work he has done (SIL and MIL have decided this is all somehow husband’s fault, and he was refusing to disagree because he didn’t want to “speak ill” of FIL “in his condition”). I don’t think any of that is unreasonable, and husband claims to have done all of this 2 weeks ago, but after waiting for all of it to shake out, this routine happens last night – so husband ended up in the guest room.

    I was very clear and un-emotional, and told him basically that these boundaries need to be set if we are going to continue to stay together. I do love him but I am not going to put myself through total and complete misery (the phone calls are every night at 9pm, on the dot) for the rest of my life. Heck, I really like my MIL too, but really think she is using my husband to replace hers (we have set her up repeatedly with therapists, but she thinks they are all dumb. Social workers too.) Unfortunately we just paid of a bunch of credit lines left from law school and other things to up our credit score for an impending refi, which has left me with 0 reserves if this does go down. That was dumb, I know, so commence “spending at all” ban for the next few months.

    Anyone else have in-laws making a relationship near unbearable?

    1. Glad to hear you’re enjoying the job, and sorry to hear about your family situation. Though, unless you husband is in a really crappy mood after talking to his mom I think maybe you shouldn’t be so concerned about when/how often she calls. You haven’t said anything to indicate your husband minds the phone calls, can you just find something else to do at this time/watch tv? It sounds like your MIL could use a vacation, being a full time caregiver can’t be easy.
      I just have the normal in-law problems. Yes, I do see my own parents/family more often because 1) they are pleasant, and 2) they live 20 minutes away vs. min. 90 minutes, through the city and across the bridge.

      1. Agree with this. There is nothing in there about how your husband is dealing with the vegetative state of his father, its about how the phone calls annoy YOU. Understandably, you might deal with parents and people your way, which is very matter of fact and clear. Could you try giving some leeway to your DH, to recognize that not all people deal with their family the same way? you are obviously coming from a place of protection and you want to help your DH, but I think you need to have a discussion and ask him if he wants your help.

        1. If your MIL’s calls/blaming is upsetting your husband, I think the boundaries you enumerated under points 1 and 2 are reasonable. Number 3 does not. I’m guessing your husband cannot convince your MIL that he’s actually helping or make your MIL be appreciative. It seems unfair to punish your husband because your MIL doesn’t get it. If the calls upset only you, can you walk away and not be a party to the calls? I’m not a therapist but your statement that your MIL “is using my husband to replace hers” suggests that you’re not comfortable with the greater supporting role your husband is being called to play under the circumstances, and I’m guessing this goes beyond the IRS thing. Are there any other support outlets available to your MIL? Overall, it sounds like you’re in a very unpleasant situation and I hope things improve.

    2. As horrible as your family situation sounds, I hope that you have someone to vent to about all of this. It must be really tough for your husband to hear an ultimatum from you and have to deal with his father in a vegetative state and his hysterical mother. I know you can’t let this ruin your life — and I fully support the boundaries you’ve requested your husband create with his mother — but I hope that at the end of the day, you really are there for your husband. If he feels like you might split, he’s going to choose his mother over you and disregard your requests for boundaries. I’m sure you’re being a perfectly wonderful wife and you just didn’t mention all you do to support your H, so I certainly don’t mean to compound the problem. Hugs and good luck – and maybe your MIL does need a vacation. Or could you at least get your SIL set up with a bank account of her own?! Sheesh! Hugs, wine and cookies.

      1. I do, I have several best friends that know what is going on, and an aunt. SIL is hopeless. The first time the levy happened was almost 12 months ago – and for 12 months, her excuse has been “I don’t have time to go to the bank!”

        Aside from everything else, mailing her paycheck so my MIL can hire someone to watch FIL so MIL can go to the bank for perfectly healthy, well educated, not-very-busy (except with fun stuff) SIL? That’s a little unforgivable in my book.

    3. As for the SIL – if she’s 28 with both a BS and a nursing degree, and can’t figure out how to set up a bank account with 6 months warning on her own, I can’t help.

      As far as how my husband is dealing with this – well, as well as he can. The phone calls are driving him to the breaking point. It keeps him up late (MIL calls late, 8-9pm, and will keep him on the phone an hour and then he has to do more back office work even later), stresses him out, makes him get behind on office paperwork, and is downright dangerous considering he works in hot electrical panels all day. We can’t even have dinner without a phone call – no vacations in 3.5 years without daily phone calls (even when we were in Italy) and it is, essentially, all consuming. For both of us.

      As far as support for MIL, she has a huge circle of very close friends nearby that visit her, does weekly bunco nights, and has 2 siblings and 3 other kids. She has also been involved in both individual therapy and group sessions. We have also offered to set up in-home 24 hour care for her to get away and take a break, maybe visit her kids (including us) or her parents. She outright refuses, and says no one can take care of FIL “right,” and she won’t waste money on such a thing (there’s plenty) etc. Being a full-time caregiver is horrible – I did it when my mother was dying of pancreatic cancer. But you can’t make other people’s lives miserable because of the choice you make – she’s got lots (and lots) of really supportive people, therapist, and options around here, but she chooses not to use them.

      The reason I think 3 is reasonable is that somehow, SIL and MIL are convinced that it is all husband’s fault and get in “how could you have let this happen” mode. If she isn’t going to appreciate husband’s (and my) help, then she can go hire someone to do all this (again, she has the $$).

      I’ve got my flaws, but I have been completely available and supportive of husband during all of this. Helping with IRS, drafting letters, getting on a plane with him to go have work days at MIL’s house, even getting on the phone myself to help calm MIL down every once in awhile. In addition to that, I am 100% responsible for our household – not income, he actually does make more than I do, but I do all of the bill pay / home maintenance / other necessary functions to keep our lives running. Husband can’t help me at all because of the time he spends helping MIL. In fact, we have put off TTC because of it because there is no time. When I was in the emergency room back in January or December, and husband didn’t call MIL for one day, she called screaming about it…and when husband said “wife was in the ER” it didn’t even phase her.

      If he really is going to choose his mother over me, that’s fine, but he needs to make that choice one way or the other so I can get on with my life. 4 years of unconditional support is sufficient, I think. When you get married, you choose your spouse. He can talk to her every day if he wants to, but the fact that I’m not even home until 6pm and go to bed around 11, and he’s on the phone with his mom for 1/5 of that time that I’m home and we have to stop/stall/cancel dinner together or plans all of the time because of it really the deal breaker. If its an emergency, fine…but not bank accounts at 9pm.

      1. Hey sorry I kind of jumped to conclusions earlier without knowing all the facts, and may have further stressed/upset you. That was not my intent, and I apologize. It sounds like you came for hugs and sympathy, not critisism or solutions. I feel bad for all parties involved, you all have a lot to deal with. Stay strong, I hope things work out/settle down.

      3. That all sounds so awful, I’m sorry you have to deal with it all.

        How close do you think your husband is to his breaking point? I know from my experience when I cut off my mother completely, I reached that point way before my sisters did. It was probably a combination of me bearing the brunt of it all and in general being more willing to stand up for myself. My youngest sister has now reached hers but my middle sister hasn’t and I don’t think she will. My point is that sometimes you have to wait it out a bit but if you think your husband will reach a breaking point then that is what I would do (for however long you are willing). If you don’t think he will ever reach that point and set boundaries with her, then that is a different story.

        It sounds like there isn’t anything to bother with dealing with your SIL. She is going to continue to do stupid things, but maybe once your husband sets boundaries with his mom then SIL’s behavior will have less impact on you since MIL won’t have the option of making these overly dramatic calls to your husband.

      4. I had a long reply written out, but then I read what you said and erased it. Here are my suggestions:

        1. Ask your husband to setup an appointment to call his mother, daily if thats what she needs. Preferably during a time when you aren’t around so it doesn’t cut into your couples time, but if it can’t be helped, at least you’ll know that from hour x-y is his time for his mother, and you can do something else during that time. Letting her know in advance when he will be unavailable might help her too (does she text – can she get texts if he texts back when she calls at a bad time and lets her know when she’ll return his call?). She might panic about “loosing him too” which is why she calls every night if she hasn’t heard from him.
        2. If there are 3 other siblings, can you suggest your husband call a “family meeting” with the siblings (conference call or skype if they can’t get together) and discuss what is going on and what they each need to do. Your husband can fill them all in on the IRS info, etc. Maybe they could set up a regularly occuring meeting for this, to support each other and fill each other in. Is he the oldest, or have the others just already given up on MIL, hence why she leans on your husband so much?
        3. If your FIL has been in this state for 4 years, chances are he’s going to stay this way for a while longer. Is MIL and the rest of the family still holding out hope that he will wake up? Thats a really sad place to be, because they can’t grieve for him since he hasn’t really passed, but for all intents and purposes, he’s gone. Could you encourage them to do something to “memorialize” him (on his birthday, maybe?) so they could grieve for the father they’ve lost? Could you talk to your husband about how much longer the 2 of you are going to put your lives on hold for this? Because it sounds like his father could be in this state for many, many more years or even decades – and you can’t all live in limbo forever.
        4. Could you help your SIL setup an Ally account online? Walk her through it over the phone? If she’s been babied her whole life, could you give her some pointers as to how to be a self-sufficient grown up, and let her know that its stressing your husband and mother out? No one ever taught my BIL this type of thing, and my husband and I have had to balance teaching him about life skills with letting him fail occasionally.
        5. Last, I understand about your husband having his hands in hot panels all day – my husband is the same, and he also works with my FIL. Its a stressful and complicated relationship being both business partners and family, and running your own business is tough work. But they are always going to be his family, and if they were running a business together their finances are going to be intertwined.

        I’m so sorry you are in this ugly mess. Have you and your husband tried therapy at all (together and individual)? It seems like you are going to be in this place for a long time, so what can you do to help each other cope, and take your lives off hold?

  16. That sounds awful. Under these circumstances, I think the boundaries you are asking your husband to set are perfectly reasonable. It sounds like your husband doesn’t know how to set these boundaries, or feels like he owes his mother/sister more than he really should. Although it would eat into his time a bit, maybe some counseling could help him figure out what boundaries he needs to set and how to set them?

    And maybe some couples counseling could help you two talk about the unreasonable effect this situation is having on your life. It’s one thing to not have a vacation without interruption for a year, or put of TTC for that amount of time, to deal with a family emergency. But it seems emergency is now the status quo, and your husband needs to ask himself whether he is happy with the situation forever, and if not, when/if he really thinks it will change. And if I were you, I would need a change in the status quo as well. This is your life too.

    Maybe there is a way to schedule weekly couples counseling around, I don’t know, 8-9 in the evening? Cell phones off?

    1. Sorry, meant as a response to SoCalAttorney.

      Also, I just wanted to say at this point, I don’t think the solution is to “problem solve” for MIL and SIL. That is, you and your husband are not going to be able to get MIL to stop calling because you get her a support network, or you make sure she has a vacation, or even because you magically solve her tax issues. Obviously, that hasn’t worked. This is a basic communication/relationship issue, and it doesn’t seem situational. And it is not either of your responsibility to fix the behavior or the problems of other adults, even parents and siblings.

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