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Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
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- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
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Anonymous
Re posting because my post was held up all morning, I guess because of some words that I will now try to avoid.
There was an issue in front of my building that rhymes with ‘looting’ and involving a word that rhymes with ‘fun.’ Make sense? Anyway, I’m feeling really upset about it. I’m a bit surprised by how much it is affecting me. Then while I was waiting on hold for a call I decided to scroll Facebook where all I see are stories about separation at the border. I am genuinely so upset and shaken by everything I don’t really know what to do and having a hard time functioning today. I feel like all I’m up for right now is looking at photos of cute puppies or something. Anyone have a favorite cheery distraction they can share?
KateMiddletown
IG account Jess Rona Grooming. Slowmo videos of dogs that just got groomed. Best.
KateMiddletown
Jess Rona Grooming on ig
L
I haven’t printed photos yet, but I have an hp with instant ink. Given your description, you may want to go with an hp with instant ink, too. You buy the printer, then buy a subscription for ink based on the number of pages printed. I got 100 pages for $5 a month. When the ink is nearing empty, hp knows and sends you new ink (black and color). So awesome.
L
Sorry — wrong comment.
And sorry you are feeling down today. It’s definitely justified. Pinterest has lots of cute animal pics!
S in Chicago
Can you work from home for the rest of the day? Being in your own space will help.
If you have to stay, then try Maymo the dog videos on YouTube for short distraction. Stand-up comics for longer. If you have trouble sleeping, stand-up comics especially since you can listen while shutting your eyes. Recipes and ingredient lists.
Relaxation apps .
Stop reading the news for a bit. It’s OK. (I say this as a former journalist even!) If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you need to self-care. Read your favorite books, eat your favorite foods, etc. Come back to media in a few days (or more) recharged.
S in Chicago
And favorite instagram for losing a few hours: Please hate these things. She curates really bad home design from real estate ads. Like, homes you wouldn’t believe exist. Hysterical. (And Im not even a decorator type.)
pugsnbourbon
McMansion Hell and the CheapOldHouses instagram are great.
I’ve been watching old Vine compilations and the video for Beyonce’s new song all day.
Maxine
I just looked at your two insta recommendations.
1. I am leaving Sydney to live in any one of these cheap old houses
2. No more real work today. Door shut. I’m on instagram for the foreseeable future.
Anonymous
Zooborns
Never too many shoes...
I answered this morning, but twitter for I’ve Pet This Dog and We Rate Dogs.
Photo printer
Reposting from this AM’s thread- Anyone have a home printer they’d recommend for printing photos? Realizing I’m too lazy/impatient even for Shutterfly, and I don’t want to drive to CVS. Need to be able to print the occasional photo on-demand.
Anonymous
I like my Canon for photos. Mine is old, but a new model Canon would be my suggestion.
L
I haven’t printed photos yet, but I have an hp with instant ink. Given your description, you may want to go with an hp with instant ink, too. You buy the printer, then buy a subscription for ink based on the number of pages printed. I got 100 pages for $5 a month. When the ink is nearing empty, hp knows and sends you new ink (black and color). So awesome.
Anon
I am not a troll and this is a genuine question.
What (if anything) makes you identify as female?
This morning’s comments about transgender kids made me think about this again- do you think there any absolutely “female” characteristics?
I am not a “fancy” person in terms of makeup, hair, jewelry, clothes, always wearing dresses, etc… so I definitely don’t think those are a necessary/sufficient part of being female.
Bearing children – clearly not necessary.
Being nurturing, etc – why should we think these are strictly female characteristics?
I’m wording this badly, but I sometimes wonder what it is specifically (if anything) that prompts a biological male to identify and transition to being female.
I am a cisfemale, never questioned my own gender, but there is nothing I can pinpoint that makes me feel specifically “female.” I truly wonder about this and hope I am not offending anyone.
Anonymous
This is fascinating and something I wonder about too. I won’t leave the house without makeup, wear skirts, etc., no desire for kids, nurturing of animals – but I feel “male” and can’t relate to women a lot of the time, nor can they relate to me. Also “cis” female or however you want to call it and never think of transitioning.
Anon Lawyer
I think different people have different levels of innate gender identity. I am a cis female and not particularly “girly.” But there’s no question in my mind that I’m a woman and the body I have matches the mental map in my mind. If I had a male body, I know it would feel wrong. So I completely understand why some people feel like they were born in the wrong body and there’s a mismatch. But some people don’t have that innate sense of “femaleness” which is fine. I think it’s like sexual orientation – some people are strongly attracted to men, some people are strongly attracted to women, and some people can be attracted to people of any gender – there’s just a mix in how we react to what our brains are telling us.
Anon
I don’t “identify” as female. I am female because I was born with a female reproductive system, which was observed on ultrasounds and by doctors when I was born. My female reproductive system is important for three things: my health, my s*x life, and how it makes me uniquely vulnerable to pregnancy, whether wanted or unwanted. It has no relation whatsoever to my fashion choices, my academic interests, my personality, my pay scale, or my ambition.
Anon
I tried to say something basically the same, but I guess I used a bad word.
But I agree – other people are welcome to feel differently or live their lives as they choose, but being female is just a trait that I have, like hair color, height, or race. It’s not an identity.
Anon Lawyer
But if you had an overpowering sense of being in the wrong body it might become part of your identity. You don’t have that so you don’t have to think about it.
Anon
Perhaps, but the question was what makes me feel as if I am a woman, and that’s my answer.
Anon
Let’s say you were a man. Even if you had a sense your body was “wrong” or didn’t fit society’s expectations for masculinity, what would make you think it was female? Can you provide a reason that doesn’t rely on sex-based stereotypes?
Anon Lawyer
I just know I have an innate sense of being female that doesn’t rely on sex-based stereotypes. It’s a sense that my body works the way it’s supposed to and matches up with how it’s supposed to be. I don’t have a problem believing that other people could have a feeling that their body is supposed to work like mine. There’s some evidence that trans people have brains that were essentially hormone-ized as the wrong gender early on. The mapping is off as a result.
I know trans man who wear dresses and trans women who aren’t “girly” at all. I don’t think most people seriously transition their entire life at great personal risk to themselves over sex-based stereotypes. I think something more fundamental than that is going on.
Anonymous
In thinking about these questions and the discourse surrounding them, it helped me to read about Dr. John Money and David Reimer (lots of trigger warnings apply to this story, but I think it’s important to understand that some ideas that live on in pop psychology were very poorly founded).
Anonymous
(To be clear, Dr. Money’s bad research supports the idea that it is possible to raise a child as any gender you please, or to mess up your child’s gender identity by not adequately reinforcing our culture’s gender roles. This is not true, but the fear that transgender people are somehow confused by cultural mores often relies on this idea.)
Anon
You said it better than I could.
Anon
This is basically how I feel too. I’ve wondered the same as the original OP – I really don’t mean this to be offensive but I just don’t really understand transitioning from one sex to another. I have many interests/traits that are stereotypically female and many interests/traits that are stereotypically male. I don’t think that makes me any less of a woman because this is just who I am and I happen to have a female body.
Aunt Jamesina
I think this is one of those things you just can’t fully understand if you don’t go through it, just trust those who say that this is their experience.
Anon.
You don’t think of it as “identifying” because you don’t have to think about it. For a person whose s e x organs do not match how they want to present to the world, they think about it all the time. I have a child who does not identify with the s e x that was identified on the ultrasound, and it’s extremely hard to describe unless you’ve seen it first hand. The comment this morning that “I don’t believe my child b/c they want to be a dinosaur” (paraphrasing) is such a frustratingly trite way to understand this for those who live it.
It’s not about toys, colors, clothing, etc. It’s a sense that you don’t have the right parts — for a child born male, it’s wanting those organs you mentioned. For a child born female, it’s desperately not wanting those same organs. Many trans individuals engage in self harm/mutilation because they simply cannot stand the feel of certain body parts. It’s not about dressing up or playing with toys. Back when this was initially an issue in our home, we offered our child the opportunity to go away for a weekend trip and dress up as (the opposite gender). My child rejected this wholeheartedly. In their words, “I don’t want to ‘pretend’ to be a [other gender]. I want to *be* [other gender].”
It’s far more complicated than it seems. It’s not a matter of simply wanting the stereotypical trappings of the other gender. It’s a feeling like you were born with an extra limb that doesn’t belong to you.
Anon.
ETA — my child is now in high school, and my child has been consistent on this topic since they were able to speak. I know of some children who have wavered as they aged, but not many. More commonly, I hear from individuals who felt this way their whole life, but didn’t feel comfortable expressing it until they were older (and independent from their parents, in many cases). It was less talked about then, but I think the Internet has helped people realize that many individuals are in the same position.
Anope
I am far from an expert, but I think that the word trans*gender* might confuse some people. When we think of “gender” we think of those traits we’re socialized to see attached to s3x (being nurturing and liking pretty stuff for females, for example). But from my understanding, for (many) trans people it’s not about the traditionally/stereotypically identified traits: it’s about being assigned the wrong s3x.
Anon.
Anon., I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s so hard to find the best way to support your child during these challenges that don’t have an easy, clearly defined path to follow. Honestly, the best thing you can do is support your child, but be skeptical of any doctor or therapist who sells puberty blockers/hormone therapy as a harmless “fix” for the dysphoria your child feels. No matter what path you take, you’re going to have to do your own research and review the evidence really critically because the media and the activist side sure aren’t going to do it for you.
Anonymous
Maybe the OP disagrees, but I am not sure this is the kind of thing you say “I’m sorry you’re going through this” about?
Anonymous
This is why some Native American tribes have described trans people as “two spirit” for many many years. Not that trans Native Americans don’t experience bias and prejudice, but among a some tribes there has been an acceptance of this condition going back into their origin story. Other cultures recognize it too, and always have.
Anon
I have always been unattractive and have PCOS, so I haven’t lived with female privilege. It doesn’t matter to me if I were a man or woman really because on the inside, we are all human. Sure, I know my brain works a little differently and I feel this or that way, but that’s kinda superficial in the grand scheme. We all get old and lose our appeal and have to temper our egos because of that and it comes down to our accomplishments, relationships, and what kind of people we are.
I’d like to have surgery to change myself into someone I would better identify with…like a more attractive female than myself…but that is considered mentally ill. Plus, I’d likely just look like a fool who got surgery. Much like the transgenders. Sorry not sorry.
Anon
My reproductive system. I realize that that’s not the PC answer, and I guess some people feel differently, but I do not see womanhood as an “identity;” it’s just a characteristic that I have, like my hair color/race/height/etc.
I’m all for people living their lives however they see fit, but this idea that there’s something more to being female than the fact that biology has cast me as such just doesn’t fit my life.
Anon
“Cis” is a made-up word used to refer to women (adult human females; girls are juvenile human females). I don’t think females around the world “identify” as subordinate beings. Women are oppressed because of their ability to reproduce (perceived or actual) and they can’t “identify” out of that. When I was a teen, I would have identified as male in a second if it would actually have changed my material reality, but no amount of wishing was going to stop my period, stop men from ogling my developing body, stop my parents from pressuring me into traditionally “female” jobs, remove the risk of r*pe, or stop people from expecting my role in life to be a breeder. We need to smash the gender prison, not celebrate moving from one box to another.
Anon Lawyer
Okay, but your experience isn’t everyone’s. I wouldn’t identify as male if I had the choice because I have a deeply rooted sense of being female that is important to me. I also believe I can do whatever masculine-coded things I want and maintain that sense of being female. Not everyone believes they have a gender identity just because of sex stereotypes.
Anon
Trust me, I would identify as male in a heartbeat if it could change my material reality of being female. I’d love to get paid more, not be at risk for r*pe walking down the street, be respected for my thoughts and opinions, not get ovarian cancer like my female relatives, etc. Unfortunately, I can’t identify my way out of these problems, both biological and social/cultural, associated with being female.
[annoying voice] "actually..."
cis is a word borrowed from chemistry. It’s part of a pair of terms, cis- and trans-, used to describe the shape of molecules (you have heard of trans-fats). So when talking about non-trans people in some context (because it is rude to call them ‘normal people’ or something like that), you can say cis people. Has nothing to do with whether you talk about cis women or men.
Anon
Sure, that’s the word’s origin. It doesn’t mean that there is a class of people out there who “identify” with what is simply reality. You hear people say that “cis means someone who identifies with their gender assigned at birth.” I disagree with that; I would argue that there is no such thing as innate gender identity. There is only the forced gender roles (and the hierarchy placing females at the bottom) shoved down our throats from the moment our biological sex is observed at birth.
Anonymous
I doubt this is true; even animals sometimes live the opposite “gender role” of their biological sex. No one is shoving any forced gender roles down their throats. I don’t think it all works radically differently for humans.
[annoying voice]
I agree that most non-trans people likely don’t strongly/actively identify as cis. It is just a short-hand you can use to distinguish trans and non-trans people when you are referring to them in the context of their gender identity.
I was disagreeing that this is a made-up word, only used for women. It’s a term that had previously been used in a certain field (chemistry) as the opposite of trans, and you can apply it to cis women or cis men.
ChemE
The application to chemistry does not apply in this situation. Above Anon is right.
Pretty Primadonna
I love your handle because I call people who are always correcting others, “Well, actually…” people. (I can be one of them more often than I’d care to admit…) LOL
Aunt Jamesina
All words are made up at some point.
Anonymous
I’m just thinking about the part of your question about the diversity of female experience, and I’d say our culture still has baggage from times when the ideal was the straight, able-bodied, neurotypical “masculine,” adult (and sometimes white) patriarch/citizen. In contrast, to be female, effeminate, gay, and/or disabled (and sometimes a person of color) was felt to be a downgrade and a deviation from that ideal. And the masculine ideal was that’s perceived and theorized to be difficult to achieve and maintain (for example, of the early theory that every fetus tries to develop into a man, but only some succeed). Our culture has a strong and prescriptive gender binary (male/female), but we also still have this binary between “right kind of male” vs. “literally everyone else” that leaves a bit more room for what counts as feminine than for what counts as masculine.
Anonymous
Egh, sorry for all the typos. I do feel that there’s more of an “ideal” or “representative” or “public persona” woman (in addition to the “ideal man”) than perhaps there used to be (and resembling her is probably part of what this fashion blog is all about). But it feels very skin-deep to me.
Anon
Thank you for the thoughtful and thought-provoking replies!
anon
I’m still waiting for someone to explain why it’s okay for a man to identify as female but it’s not okay for Rachel Dolezal to identify as black. If biology, history of oppression throughout your lifetime, and immutability are irrelevant to self-identity, then why not? I truly don’t understand why “if someone says they’re female, they’re female” is okay, but “if someone says they’re black, they’re black” is not.
Anon Lawyer
One reason is because race is socially constructed whereas there’s actual biological evidence that trans people have brains that were feminized/masculinized as the wrong sex. That said, I think the Rachel Dolezal situation is more complicated than people make it out.
Anon
That’s totally false though – there’s no such thing as a “female brain” other than the few differences that exist to regulate the female hormonal system.
Anon Lawyer
Google it. It’s actual scientific research, which I’d link to if I thought it’d ever get out of moderation.
Anonymous
No, there’s a lot of interesting research on this; it is not just made-up.
I’ve read in other contests that our brain also has its own image of the shape and size (and, presumably, parts) of our body, and we know that in general people suffer when the body and the brain’s expectations for it are misaligned (**I do not know if this applies to to gender dysphoria, as I went down the Oliver Sacks rabbit hole before gender dysphoria was on my mind, but I’m curious whether it has any role.)
Anon
I don’t know where you’re getting your scientific research, but I can instantly find plenty of material for my argument (Google it yourself). It is impossible to attribute any changes you observe in the brains of children or adults between males/females to biology. There is way too much acculturation that takes place from the moment the child is conceived. Neuroplasticity may result in a “female brain,” but it’s not innate and it’s dangerous to suggest it is. Don’t you realize that people have used “female brains” as an excuse to deny women education and opportunities throughout history and to justify their subjugation?
Anon Lawyer
No, you’re not understanding me. I agree with you about not attributing individual characteristics to female and male brains, but there is actual research about the mapping the other poster talks about being a thing.
Anon
Then you’re going to need to actually provide the sources for that. I’ve gone down the rabbit hole on this topic and have never seen a legitimate article or study suggesting that biological males who identify as females have “female brains.” I don’t discount that they may feel something is wrong with their body (much like people with anorexia or people with phantom limb syndrome), but to my knowledge, there is no evidence to prove that gender dysphoria is the result of having a “female” or “male” brain. If you can provide it, I’ll read it.
Anon Lawyer
Here’s one link found through incredibly easy Googling so I’m not really sure you went down the rabbit hole on this topic: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/05/22/transgender-brain-scans-promised-study-shows-structural-differences/
Anon
No, I’ve seen that link before and again, it does not show evidence of innate differences between male and female brains. At most, it can show that the brains of a small number of people are similar to the brains of another small number of people. This could be due to ANYTHING – environment, socialization, preferences, interests. What this study basically says is that a boy who likes pink and dresses may have a brain similar to a girl who likes pink and dresses. Maybe they just like pink and dresses, you know?
Anon Lawyer
You’re twisting the study results because they compared trans men’s brains with cis men’s brains. Not trans men’s brains with stereotypically manly cis men’s brains.
Anon
But who is to say that if you do have a differently structured brain that you should transition? When I look at guys I see that some are more feminine/sensitive…which doesn’t appeal to me personally. But that doesn’t mean they don’t appeal to other women or shouldn’t be men. Just because someone has a different body chemistry or brain doesn’t mean they should get bs surgery to look like a mutant. They can just put a skirt on over their peen for all I care. Put on lipstick, even. Doesn’t bother me!
Anonymous
But by that logic, then maybe white people who identify as black have a mismatch between their brain and their body. That hasn’t been studied before, but it seems plausible if you accept that mismatches for gender exist. Anyway, it doesn’t matter since there’s no requirement to feel “mismatch” to identify as trans. You just say you’re trans and you are.
Anonymous
But race isn’t a real thing, so our brains don’t have any “race image” to mismatch. That doesn’t make any sense.
Why would anyone say they were trans if they were not?
Anon
You know what else isn’t a real thing? Gender. Our brains aren’t born hard-wired for cleaning house and making pies if you’re female and being tough and never crying if you’re male. Just like race, gender is a social construct.
Anonymous
Anon @4:23pm, I think you are getting hung up on the point Anope explained above.
Anon too
I’m so glad someone wonders this too. I have been wondering and marveling at the cognitive dissonance between the treatment of Caitlyn Jenner and of Rachel Dolezal. I cannot find that much of a difference. If I understand this correctly, the problem with Rachel was that she assumed the identity of a historically oppressed race while being a member of the dominant race and therefore failing to experience the standard experiences of growing up black, like discrimination and stereotyping. Bruce Jenner profited greatly from being a member of a (historically) dominant gender and failed to experience any of the drawbacks associated with being female for most of his life. And yet he was welcomed to assume the identity of a (historically oppressed) female gender with open arms and without seemingly anyone being offended that a person who has not experienced things like discrimination and threat of r@pe is now a vocal representative of the female gender. Help me understand!
Badlands
I think there is a biological definition of female, a cultural stereotype/expectation of what it means to be female, and there is a more nebulous concept of female as a gender. And these are somewhat related concepts that are hard for me to articulate the differences between.
I do know that I’ve never questioned that my brain and my body are what they are supposed to be. So, I’m cis in that regards (it’s a chem term, btw, meaning the opposite of trans) – my body and sense of self (brain?) match up. I don’t know how to describe that. I also don’t know how to explain why I’m straight instead of gay – or how I knew that.
I guess I bought into the story society was telling me about what my experience should be and never felt like it was the wrong one, so had no reason to question it. So, who am I to tell someone else that their experience is wrong?
Anonymous
really interesting question! I guess I don’t have a strong female identity. I like myself as a person and the body I have. For the most part, I am able to express my ideas and live a life I enjoy. Since I have never experienced the body-mind mismatch that trans people have, I can’t speak to how that would affect identity. So all that is left when I think of female identity pertains to the role that is assigned to women in western culture. Some of those boxes I check, others I reject or they don’t matter to me. So the stereotypical ideas of femininity are not that relevant to my identity.
anon
Reposting from morning thread:
Is this cute? I have similar coloring to the model and i’m wondering if it’ll be a versatile color. I’m in consulting.
https://mmlafleur.com/shop/tory-3-0-true-olive
anon
I LOVE it. I think it’s very versatile but of course that’s up to you! Seems like it could go well with a lot of different things.
anon
would you consider it conservative in a upper end of business casual environment?
JB
With a blazer absolutely appropriate. I work in banking and would not blink to see this dress walk by. Now the color and fit on you specifically, unknown.
Panda Bear
It think it’s really cute. Color wise, I bet it would look great with a navy blazer. I wonder how it fits, though, if you aren’t as tall as the model. I’m petite and short waisted, and can just picture all that beautifully draped fabric just drooping in a puddle around my waist.
anon
As a petite (5’3″) and fairly short waisted person, I think it’s super flattering on- I have the same in black so can’t speak to the color.
Anon
The cut is cute, but I actually don’t like the color on the model, it washes her out.
Senior Attorney
I agree. I want it to be a deeper/stronger/brighter olive.
emeralds
Any suggestions for finding affordable, good-looking men’s suiting? My SO wants to use our upcoming wedding to upgrade his suit game, which consists of a black suit and a gray suit he got on clearance at Men’s Wearhouse six years ago. He doesn’t wear suits to work and neither of us really know where to start.
He is generally very well-put-together, but mostly buys his clothing from places like American Eagle or Old Navy, so I think he’s getting some sticker shock. What is a good ballpark figure that we can expect to spend?
anon
My husband used the online site Knot Standard (I know there are others) and had a great experience. He ordered two custom suits and they look great.
emeralds
Thanks! Someone at work also mentioned Alton Lane as an option. I think his eyes would pop out of his head at spending $1,000 on a suit, though…I guess you do have to factor in the costs of tailoring a non-custom suit?
anon
I’m sure you can find coupons, etc. He had one made for like $600 and they gave him a second one for half of that – so two for less than $1K. I’m not sure where to find the coupons, but they’re out there.
Anonymous
Will Banana/J Crew work for him?
Anonymous
I’d expect to spend somewhere in the realm of $400-600 at Banana/J Crew, depending on whether you can get pieces on sale, plus accessories like a shirt, tie and socks.
If your SO has any unusual fit issues, perhaps consider a custom suit. My husband is tall and thin, and found that even the slim cut options at mainstream stores didn’t really work for him. He got a custom suit at Alton Lane for about $800 or so at the time (2010), which didn’t seem that much more expensive than something off the rack, and then bought a custom shirt. A friend who is a personal trainer and has huge thigh muscles but a very small waist needed to get a custom tux for his wedding.
emeralds
We’ll check out Banana and J. Crew.
I’ve also heard about Alton Lane. It looks like their cheapest options are around $800. He has basically the ideal male body type (tall, broad shoulders, narrow hips, long legs) and has sometimes has trouble finding pants with the correct inseam/waist ratio. Maybe we should look more at the custom options.
Anonymous
My husband is still wearing his wedding suit nearly 8 years later. Granted, it’s been gentle use, but it still looks far better than any of his other suits off the rack – I’d recommend it! Also, a custom shirt is a fantastic groomsman gift (if it’s within the budget).
FP
I think getting a suit nicely tailored will be key. My husband is the same – doesn’t wear suits to work ever but would like to look nice when he needs to wear one – and we generally will spend $200-$300 every few years at Macy’s or J.Crew to get a suit on sale, and then spend another $100 or so to get it tailored.
emeralds
Thanks! Tailoring will be key no matter what he ends up getting.
Anonymous
My husband wore a suit from Nordstrom for our wedding. I think it was $600? They include alterations in the price. Here’s how our trip went:
“Hi, we’re looking for a gray suit for our wedding next month. Not too light or too dark. Moderate price.”
The guy looked at my then-fiance, said, “34R, right?” and walked over to the rack, pulled exactly what we had in mind with us giving literally no more info than the sentence above.
Someone who’s been doing men’s alterations for 32 years pinned the suit quickly and we were on our way.
We were paid and out of there in under 40 minutes. Amazing. The suit was ready the following Saturday.
emeralds
Okay awesome. I might drag him to Nordstrom, even though he hates going because “t-shirts shouldn’t cost $120”–I forgot about their free alterations. NAS is coming up, too. That could work really well.
falsetto
We had a bad experience at Nordstroms (Oak Brook, IL location). We told the saleswoman we were interested in spending less than $1k. The next thing we knew she had pulled a suit costing $1.6k, not a small difference. It was like trying on a wedding dress outside of your budget – the pricier model looks and feels better but you can’t afford it and it’s hard to compromise down to the budget you set.
Nerfmobile
I second Nordstroms. Great service, loads of options, tailoring as much as needed, and you can get out for well under $1000.
BelleRose
In the past 2 months, I’ve taken both my boyfriend and his brother shopping for interviews-and-formal-weddings-but-not-a-lot-else suits. Obviously, it depends on what you think of as “upgrade” (in terms of quality or brand?), but we had really good luck at Macy’s and JCPenney. Be sure to look for store coupons; after the coupons, we bought 3 suits for $180 (30% off Macy’s), $110 (70% off Macy’s Father’s Day sale), and $140 (40% off JCPenney’s Father’s Day sale) respectively. They need some tailoring, but not a bad base price! Navy and charcoal are the most versatile suit colors, and IME, navy is flattering on almost everyone (we got BF’s brother a grey suit that looked great on him, but when BF tried on the jacket, it looked like he was jaundiced lol).
emeralds
Thanks! I hate dealing with the coupon carousel at Macy’s, but you’re right, they do have a lot of affordable options.
Anonymous
What about one of the custom suiting companies like Indochino?
ditto
my husband used one of these for his wedding suits (but one where you show up in person and they futuristically measure your body with lasers and then make the suit). It worked and looked great!
emeralds
Oooh that looks like it could be right up his alley in terms of price point and the options in the color he wants. Thank you!
Anonymous
Thank Pod Save America for talking about it incessantly… it burrowed its way into my brain :P
That said, you may be able to find a promo code!
Anonymous
I’ve heard you should avoid heteronormative blue.
Anonymous
JCrew Factory was a good compromise for my husband. Not too much sticker shock, the style is great, and the quality is pretty good.
emeralds
Thanks! It looks like they have some options that may work as well!
Flats Only
Joseph A. Bank. Affordable enough to be worth the money for something he’ll only wear occasionally, the quality is good and they offer contemporary styles. They offer tailoring.
kk
400-700, depending on the suit. Check out Suit Supply- if there’s one near you. They have gorgeously made pieces, at low prices, and they run the gamut from trendy to classic. He’ll likely look better in a suit supply suit than a men’s warehouse one, even if theyre about the same price
JS
Does he want more options in general? Check out Asos Men. The quality is gointg to be lower, but they have lots of fun and interesting options that are all inexpensive. Agree that tailoring makes all the difference as well.
Anonymous
ebay plus tailoring. My husband buys all of his suits second hand from ebay or men’s consignment stores. For example, he’ll buy an zenga suit from ebay in his size for $150 -$300 and then spend $60-$100 to get it tailored. New it would cost$3,000 +
Anonymous
What about Topshop? When we got married, that’s where my husband bought his suit. I feel like they’re cut slimmer and sharper for a (probably) younger crowd, and at a pretty affordable price point.
Nerfmobile
I strongly suggest Nordstroms, if you have one at hand. They have lots of options that will get you out for well under $1,000, with excellent service and loads of patience.
Anonymous
I need a rec for a lunch spot in Denver for a nice, lingering weekday lunch – outside would be great but not necessary. No price or dietary limits.
Anonymous
root down!
Anonymous
It’s closed for lunch. :(
Gail the Goldfish
I may have to order this one. I’ve never bought anything from Brooks Brothers–how do their sizes run compared to say, Banana Republic or Ann Taylor?
Anon
This one is gorgeous.
Very similar sizing to AT.
Anonymous
I would say the cuts are similar to AT but the sizing is less generous.
Midtown ATL Attorney
I have a lot of Brooks Brothers work clothing. I would say that sizing at Brooks Brothers for most things is similar to Ann Taylor UNLESS it’s from the Red Fleece line or if it’s a Zac Posen design–I have found both of those to run smaller, so that I need to go one size up (or even occasionally two sizes up). Since this is a Zac Posen design, I’d predict that you’ll need to size up (though I have not actually tried on this dress).
Anonymous
I just ordered it!
AIMS
I’m just about to return it. It looks more chic in the picture than IRL, i think. It’s obviously a summer material but not cool feeling and something about it read as too harsh for summer (which is weird to me because I am wearing another BB black summer dress right now that I love and don’t have this issue with). It was also very tight and clingy so maybe sizing up is key? I didn’t like it enough to exchange though.
Anon
Which one do you have now?
AIMS
It’s from a few seasons ago. Wool seersucker fabric, which sounds weird but has been amazing even on really hot days.
GMail tips
I just switched my Gmail interface to the ‘new’ design. I like being able to see my calendar in the same view so far, and the option to snooze and quickly process email.
Is anyone using the task feature? Do you have favorite productivity hacks regarding your inbox?
help
What do you do on those days when you have plenty of work but you can’t focus? Right now I have plenty of boring works that needs to get done and I. can. not. focus.
Panda Bear
I like the pomodoro method. I use the focus keeper app, but you can also just use your phone/watch timer. Force yourself to work non-stop for 25 minutes. Just keep working no matter how much you want to stop! Then after 25 minutes, take a break. Repeat until work is done and/or it’s time to go home!
anon a mouse
The Forest app is great for this because it keeps you from playing on your phone, which is my preferred procrastination method.
Someone here recommended it — thanks!
Anonymous
I hadn’t been parking in my office parking garage for a while, but today I drove in. The parking attendant was really excited to see me, gave me a hug, and said he’d really missed me. I’d been friendly to him (smiling, saying good morning) when I used to park daily, and gave the parking team collectively a card with a tip for the holidays, but other than that I haven’t really talked to this guy. Could it be that everyone else is mean, or does he have a crush on me, or what? It wasn’t really creepy or anything, just a little weird. I don’t even know his name!
Anonymous
Everyone else pretends they don’t exist. I’ve also never heard of anyone giving a holiday tip to their work parking garage attendants.
Anonymous
+1 We have a shuttle bus driver on our corporate campus, and I once brought him a cup of coffee and a breakfast pastry and he got misty and said no one in his 5 years of working here had ever done something so kind for him. Which was touching and really sad…
Anonymous
+1, my husband did security before he started his career and people he saw literally every day didn’t acknowledge he existed. One employee gave him a $5 starbucks card for the holidays and he was so happy he probably still knows her name to this day.
Pen and Pencil
I once got told by my parking attendant that I was one of the nicest people he had ever met because I just said hi to him every day, so I can easily see that you would be high up on his list of favorite people if you cared enough to give him a Christmas card. Our parking attendant just got transferred to a different position in security and I must say, I miss him a lot. I could totally see myself being really excited to see him again. Similarly, our morning front desk guy had a heart attack and was not able to return to work. He occasionally makes the rounds in the building, and everyone hugs him.
anon
More likely, everyone just pretends they don’t exist. It’s easy to fall into the trap of viewing people who service your building and don’t usually speak to you unless spoken to are just features rather than people. Not because we’re bad people, but because everyone’s wrapped up in their own heads, etc. I live in the south where people are generally friendly, so a quick hi, smile or a wave is common for people you pass – especially those you pass often. But I can imagine it feels very demoralizing to constantly be passed by as if you’re a lamp pole or an automated ticket machine. Humans are hardwired for connection.
Anon
Are you in San Francisco by any chance?
C
I’m in the market for a couple of great new skirt suits. Anyone have any they are really liking right now? Bonus points if there is a dress option and don’t care about pants as I despise work pants.
Anonymous
Boss is always a good bet, and I also like the options that Elie Tahari usually has.
Anonymous
Hobbs? Bloomingdales carries them.