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For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.
All right kids, stick with me: do not adjust your monitor (or check the calendar). I am only sort of recommending the pictured “pixel print” suit. The pattern is actually kind of fun for a creative office, and I think the pieces could be nice as separates. But what I really like about the suit is the proportions — the slim “barely boot” pant and the sleek blazer. Express has both pieces in a simple black “studio stretch,” but they're not shown together, hence this picture of the pixel print suit. The 24″ jacket (Express Studio Stretch Jacket) is $108, and the barely boot pants (Express Studio Stretch Barely Boot Columnist Pant) are $69 (in short and long sizes!). I'm not a fan of it, but they also have a matching 20″ blazer (as well as a midi skirt, and, well, a shorter skirt).
Also gorgeous: this blazer, although sadly the matching pants are almost entirely sold out.
Here is a black plus-size suit (jacket + pants) with a bit of stretch; it's available in black and four other colors.
Update: Wow. Wow. If you were really bummed that this suit costs less than a $1000, do check out this Max Mara suit that is… similar. But star-themed. Oh yeah.
(L-all)
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
padi
San Jose Meet-up:
Saturday, March 26, 2016 1pm. Original Gravity at 66 S 1st St, San Jose, CA 95113.
I hope to see you there!
Let me know if you plan to be there so I can claim table space.
SFBayA
I wish I could join you! Have fun :).
anonypotamus
ooo! I will plan to be there!
Anonymous
I thought some of you who have railed against the terms “babymoon” and “engagementmoon” might be amused to know that People magazine has declared that Taylor Swift is on a “boyfriend-moon” because she is on vacation with her boyfriend…(maybe NSFW pics of her in a bikini if you click on the link)
http://stylenews.peoplestylewatch.com/2016/03/16/taylor-swift-vacation-bikini-style-shop/
Anon
Omg, what? It’s called a VACATION. :headdesk:
I don’t mind babymoon though. Seems like an appropriate extension of the original term.
Anonymous
Yeah babymoon doesn’t bother me that much, but I think “engagementmoon” is a little ridiculous and I’m not even sure what “boyfriend-moon” is supposed to mean? Following the logic of those other terms, it makes it sound like she either is getting a boyfriend on the vacation or its her last vacation before getting a boyfriend.
Opal
UGH. Take vacations, people. I hate this idea that a vacation – or, more accurately, time out of the office – has to be excused by something (engagement, boyfriend, baby, wedding…). I think I’ll take a justbecause-moon.
January
Burnout-moon?
What?
Yeah, that’s a vacation. Not a ____moon. It can still be a special trip, even without a special moniker.
On a related note, i’m getting married in June, we’re likely not taking a honeymoon (logistical reasons – maybe one day in the future but no plans of yet), and OH MY GOD with the pitying looks when people find out! It’s like the fact that i’m marrying the love of my life and super jazzed about spending our days together is meaningless bc no vacay. Yeesh.
rosie
Yeah, I didn’t take a honeymoon for logistical reasons. We did a nice trip just the two of us (not a family trip, not going to someone’s wedding, etc.) about 6 months later, but I think of that more as a vacation for whatever reason. But yes, the only reason to get married is the honeymoon…
Anon
I’m probably so not helping lol, but that newlywed glow really, really doesn’t last and the honeymoon is seriously special. And I’m not one of those crazy sentimental types!
I know so many people who meant to later take one and either they couldn’t find the money (house buying, babies) or time (work, babies) or they went and it just another vacation/not special. If you can find any way to make it work, do so.
Anonymous
We did a delayed honeymoon for logistics reasons but had it booked up pre wedding. It would have been hard to justify later but we had it on the books! We went about 4 months post wedding.
Anonymous
I don’t know, all my married couple friends were living together before the wedding and had already taken vacations together, all those trips were special. I really doubt the honeymoon has to be taken directly after the wedding or else it doesn’t count.
Anonymous
I have no problem with people who don’t want to take a honeymoon – to each their own (although I agree with Anon at 2:26 that it really is special) – but I will admit it annoys me when people take a “honeymoon” a year after the wedding. It’s not a honeymoon then, it’s just a vacation.
Meg Murry
FWIW, if you can swing it, I highly recommend you do a tiny honeymoon by just going to a local B&B. We couldn’t afford a big honeymoon after our wedding (due to both money and logistics) and we went to a local-ish B&B. It was a couple of relaxing days, and what is extra nice is that we can now go there for milestones like our 5th and 10th anniversaries without paying arms and legs.
But yes the naming of all vacations as -moon = stupid and annoying.
NotLegalCounsel
We didn’t take a honeymoon, due to wedding/reception logistical issues. Instead, we go (almost) every year on a vacation together during our anniversary. We love it.
Sydney Bristow
When does one take an engagementmoon? Last trip before getting engaged? Trip where you get engaged? Trip to celebrate the engagement? Right before the wedding for a last trip as an engaged couple? I’ve never heard that one. So many questions.
Anonymous
I have heard it used to mean either a trip where you get engaged or a trip right after the engagement to celebrate.
Wildkitten
I guess she has a bellybutton after all.
Anonymous
Haha!
Anonymous
Not in the pics from the “boyfriend-moon” though! Both she and Calvin Harris posted tons of photos of her posing in a bikini and NO BELLY BUTTON.
anon
Has anyone tried the 17-day diet? Particularly any vegetarians?
Also, any recs for not-crazy-expensive nail salons where I can pop in for a manicure in the Philly (Rittenhouse area)? TIA!
Cat
My favorite quick place ($15?) is City Nails on Square, on 17th between Walnut and Locust.
anon
thanks!
Anonymous
Young Nails on 16th between Chestnut and Sansom. They do such a good job.
Care
I lost 30-ish pounds using the 17-day diet (not a vegetarian) and was generally pretty happy with it. I liked that you only commit to a super-strict diet for a set amount of time – not forever – and then loosen up in stages (or go back to being strict if you need it). Then I went to law school and undid all my progress. Post law school, I’ve used the principles but not the plan and have adapted it to be more of a lifestyle.
anon
interesting- how many of those 30 lbs did you lose during the first 17-day cycle, if you remember? I’m interested in doing just the first cycle (maybe others, but I don’t want to commit because psychologically it makes it easier for me) to lose 10 lbs for an upcoming vacation.
I’m also debating whether attempting it as a vegetarian is even wise. You can’t have cheese in the first cycle, so it looks like I’d get most of my protein from plain greek yogurt and maybe some protein powder, though it’s not technically allowed.
Anonymous
Eggs?
anon
I hate eggs.. I know, I know, I’m the pickiest vegetarian ever. I also hate eggplant and mushrooms! But I guess I could try to disguise eggs as something else.
Possibly overdressed?
I had an experience at a networking event that I would like some feedback on. For context I am studying towards a marketing degree part time. I will complete this in the winter. I recently went to a networking event in my city that lots of other students from my school attended. I figured this was almost like an interview so I wore an black suit, a boatneck cream colored blouse and with flats with my hair in a sleek ponytail. I was the only student who dressed up. People came in jeans, rompers, strapless maxi dresses, sky high platform heels, ripped tshirts with hair in messy buns, unwashed or even dyed bright green. The people who hosted the event and who were not students were all wearing suits. A few of my classmates commented about me being overdressed and even one of my professors said she heard I was too dressed up. She said students get a pass at these things.
I’m working as a receptionist/office assistant right now until I get my degree. I’m 25 and most of the students who came to the event that are much younger than me. Everyone that I work with dresses up for business events from what I’ve seen. Was I wrong to dress up so much when I’m still a student?
Maddie Ross
It’s not exactly clear what type of networking event it was (as this, at least to me, can mean all sorts of things), but if there were employer reps there in suits, then I would argue that your wearing of a suit was appropriate or at least not inappropriate. Perhaps it doesn’t have to be so severe though next time in a non-interview situation – could you wear a brighter shirt or a statement piece of jewelry? I can see a bit where marketing, versus a MBA or JD type job event, might have a bit more personality and flair to it.
Anon
Caveat: I’m a lawyer and know little about marketing. (Is it one of those “creative” fields where nearly anything goes as far as attire?)
While it sounds like many of your peers were much too casual regardless of how creative a field marketing is (you always want to make your best first impression!), I think this is a great opportunity to use a sheath dress and coordinating (but not matching) blazer. You look nice and stand out without coming across as trying too hard. Remove the jacket if you need to dress down. Sometimes a full suit on a student can read as A Bit Much. I don’t think ill of the student for it, just that they’re very earnest.
anon
I would think it’s kind of a positive thing to be viewed as very earnest or eager. Is that wrong?
Anonymous
Earnest or eager can sometimes feel as coming on too strong.
Being polite, polished, friendly and knowledgeable might be better adjectives to aim for.
Anon Lawyer
I think so. I want someone eager but not so eager that it’s overwhelming or annoying
Anon
I think the key there is “kind of.”
If a student seems too eager (overdressed and “sir/ma’am” and padfolio and graduation fountain pen from mom), it can read as trying too hard. I prefer to see someone quietly confident, tastefully attired, and engaged. I won’t knock the eager candidate, and I’ll certainly pick them over someone with green hair and a maxi dress!, but the super eager candidate can almost be…a bit wearying? (Does anyone else feel this way or am I just old and tired? Haha)
Anonymous
No, totally agree. Anon is right, I would definitely pick an eager candidate over an inappropriately dressed candidate – I appreciate that they got the memo and read it – but wearying is a good word for it. To use the law school phrase, it just seems like they’re a “gunner.” And that’s an exhausting personality type.
Anon
It is hard to know when we are being too eager – being seen as eager is in the eye of the beholder.
Anon
For me, eager can also be about enthusiasm. You can calmly and professionally state, “I’m very interested in your field” and I will believe you vs enthusiastic head nods, too-intense eye contact, sitting on the edge of the chair, scribbling notes. Think of how Hollywood would portray an eager college student and instead aim for the list a poster gave above: polite, friendly, knowledgeable, et al.
Opal
Eager + insincerity = No bueno.
Sincerity, or lack thereof, is the key for me. If you tell me you, recent college grad, are OMG SO PASSIONATE about my field, you’re lying, you’re over eager and you’re not getting my job. I don’t think sincerity is translated via being over dressed, so back to OP – no I wouldn’t ding you for being suited up while everyone else is in jeans.
Possibly overdressed?
Thank you both for responding and giving feedback! I appreciate it.
The networking event was for all areas of business and finance; marketing, economics, accounting, finance, business, policy, administration etc. We were told it was very serious event.
Right now because I don’t have my degree yet I only have one suit because it is all I can afford for the moment. When I’m at work I wear dress slacks or pencil skirts with a blouse or cardigan. None of that felt formal enough for what I was told was a serious event. I’m saving up for some new dresses but for now a suit is the most business formal outfit I own.
Bluestocking
So maybe a pencil skirt with a blouse and cardigan would be good for this type of event without requiring purchase of new clothes.
Anon
+1. Consider carrying the blazer in case you arrive and discover it’s a suiting event after all.
Zelda
Can you wear a pencil skirt, blouse and suit jacket? Still dressy but not as “stiff” as a full suit.
Possibly overdressed?
I really appreciate the helpful suggestions from everyone. Two questions arising now
1) If my suit jacket is a different shade of black from my skirts and slacks I’m presuming I can’t wear them together correct? (My slacks and pencil skirts are machine washable and not the same shade as my jacket)
2) If a pencil skirt is too tight and ‘shapely’ for lack of a better word then it would also be inapprorpriate but ones that aren’t super tight are fine?
Anonymous
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but this entire line of questioning makes me realize that no matter what you wear, you are going to come off as an over-eager gunner. Tone it down a bit. I know you’re an older student and work in the real world and are anxious, but use the first two things to your advantage. Be poised and confident in yourself and just chill a bit. (And yes, don’t wear a super tight pencil skirt… but don’t wear those to work anyway…)
Anon
Aw, I don’t think she’s a gunner. Gunner always had negative undertones to me – throwing other students under the bus, etc. She just seems eager to make a good impression.
OP, check out J.Crew Factory for dresses. If you stalk their sales, you can normally get their suiting dresses for around $50, and I’ve always been very pleased with the quality. Ditto on picking up another blazer from TJ Maxx/Marshalls if you can find one.
I feel you on pencil skirts that accidentally become too shapely. Avoid those :)
Zelda
1. You definitely don’t want different shades of black, unless one is clearly textured (tweed, etc.), striped, etc. Otherwise it looks like you tried to put together a suit and failed. Can you buy an inexpensive bottom in a different color? TJM/Marshalls would be a good source.
2. Correct. I have going out pencil skirts and work pencil skirts. The fit is very different.
CountC
Honestly, this is one of those things which tends to make people complain about millennials. I have a sports marketing degree and I worked in sports marketing for three years before going back to law school. I skew conservative and professional in my dress for work even though I now work in a business casual office (emphasis on casual). I think it’s crazypants that your classmates showed up so under-dressed. Please don’t ever take advice from any of your classmates who showed up in less than business casual outfits. Also, consider that academics are not generally known for their professional dress either, especially ones who have never worked in the business world or who have been out of the business world for many years. I wouldn’t take their advice unless it skews professional.
IMO, for what sounds like a business college/major networking event, as someone said above a suit is most likely appropriate, but not inappropriate. If all of the potential employers were in suits, I think the problem would have been that they might not have known you were a student! Ha. If you want to tone it down a bit next time, I agree with either a sheath dress and blazer or pencil skirt with a blouse and cardigan.
Anonymous
It sounds to me like you were dressed very appropriately and the people who commented on it were probably feeling inadequate.
Runner 5
It is a bit country-dependent. I’ve been to a lot of careers events on the campus of my relatively elite UK university and never once dressed any smarter than good jeans (and a sweater not a hoodie). And I’m usually among the smarter students at these things.
Anonymous
Unless your teacher also works in the kind of corporate jobs you want I wouldn’t worry about what they say, especially if it’s a male teacher who is body policing you. Try not to worry about the other students either – they were very rude to you and also, honestly!, lack the knowledge and context to decide what to wear
Gabi
As an engineering student frequently going to these sorts of job fairs to grab internships: you did good in dressing up, but perhaps the interview suit was a bit much? Maybe try next time something a notch down from the interview suit but still dressed up. My suggestion is to wear what you would if you already worked at a similar position, so you still get a chance to dress up for the interview. Moreover, not calling attention to your outfit is always a good move.
This is industry dependent but I usually wear dark jeans, pumps and a nice twinset and I still get people asking snarky questions, don’t worry about that. I’ve gotten interviews specifically because the folks showing up in hoodies looked like they couldn’t be trusted. In your plcae I would try nice shoes, suit pants and a discreet sweater. The goal is to avoid calling attention to your outfit so this could be a nice compromise between looking smart and still student-y
Manhattanite
Those models on the Express web page make me feel so old. They look like the suits are for their high school debate club competition. Or maybe a college internship.
Wildkitten
That’s where I got my suits for high school debate.
Anonymous
+1
Batgirl
Random request: we have a kitchen table we got off of craigslist that we are hoping to use for another year or so while we’re in what we hope will be our last rental. It’s fine enough, but it has a lip that makes it so that legs are always hitting it when I try to sit at it. Crossing my legs is a nightmare and it’s just not that comfortable to sit at. But because we’d like to make it last another year, I was hoping someone might have some suggestions for raising the legs by about 1-2 inches. You’d think this would be easy enough, but it’s been surprisingly hard to find solutions short of just buying small squares of plywood and sticking them under the legs. I’d be willing to do that if I thought they’d stay put. Any advice welcome — thanks!
Anonymous
Add casters. They lock, they’re easy (enough) to install, and they’re cheap ($3/ea at Home Depot).
Anonymous
Or, is 3″ too tall?
Anonymous
Double-up on thick surface pads for the bottoms of the legs? You can even find vinyl ones. You could probably get an inch that way.
Batgirl
Are they always on wheels? I’ll check this out, though, I think 3″ may be too tall. Thanks!
Anonymous
Casters are wheels, so yes to always :) They usually come in different sizes though.
Sydney Bristow
Bed risers? They were all the rage when I was in college in the dorms. Not the most attractive solution but I think they’d work.
Anonymous
Bed risers are anywhere from 3″ to 6″+ tall. If OP wants 3″, this would work.
Anonymous
I was about to suggest the same exactly. I think it would be fine as a short-term solution.
Batgirl
I tried these, actually — not the big uglier ones, but these smaller wood ones. At 4″ they were way too high. I think we really need in the 1-2″ range.
Best Coast
Instead of adding a block of wood where the legs meet the floor, could you add a 3″ block of wood where the legs meet the bottom of the table? Presumably, with the lip, you won’t see the block from the sides, but it will extend the legs the extra 3″ that you need.
Anonymous
Just switch out the legs? If the legs unscrew you can buy new legs for cheap at IKEA.
Meg Murry
How big around are the legs at the floor? This product is a 1″ lift, but it’s only 2″ in diameter.
http://m.homedepot.com/p/SlipStick-1-in-Furniture-Gripper-Foot-Floor-Protector-Riser-Black-CB511/205621654
If you do go the “blocks of wood” route, to make it sturdier you would be best to get something that has an edge around it, to keep the leg from sliding off the block, not just a flat piece of wood. If you can’t find something with a lip, gluing or screwing those cup shaped devices meant to protect floors from furniture to the blocks of wood would probably work.
Anon
My long-distance boyfriend of two years just informed me that he wants to drive 1.5 hours to meet up with a friend from high school who is going to be in town for a few days and that he might stay over “if she ends up getting a hotel.” I’m not sure how I feel about this. I trust him and don’t think anything would happen, but is this situation concerning? I’m not sure if I should say anything to him or not.
anon
as in, he’s going to stay with her in a hotel room? I would not be okay with that, unless it’s like his childhood best friend who’s like a sister to me, and whom I’ve met before.
anon
like a sister *to him
Zelda
I personally wouldn’t be comfortable with my boyfriend sharing a hotel room with a female friend. Nothing to do with trusting him and everything to do with personal boundaries. You have to decide what your own personal/relationship boundaries are. If you don’t have an issue with it, then don’t say anything. If you do, you should definitely bring it up. I think it can be reasonable to say that you have an issue, but also reasonable to say that this isn’t a big deal. You have to decide how you feel about it.
Anonymous
I would absolutely not be ok with my husband sharing a hotel room with a female friend or colleague and frankly it never even occurred to me that a coupled-up hetero person would share a hotel room with someone of the opposite $ex who is not their partner, until a thread here a couple months ago when many people said they thought it was no big deal. So everyone has different boundaries and if you’re not comfortable with it – and it sounds like you’re not – you should talk to him.
some qs
I’d probably say, wow, i generally trust you, but this makes me feel weird – would you be sleeping in your own room, or hers and is there anything you could say or do to help me feel more comfortable with this?
Have you met her? Do you trust her and/or your BF? You say long-distance — how long, how distant?
Anonymous
I don’t think it’s concerning at all. You are long distance. He could be cheating on you all the time without you knowing. Why would you pick the plan he’s proactively disclosing to freak out on?
Anon
He’s a wilderness ranger who lives in a dorm with other men for short periods when he’s not totally off the grid. I’m not worried about cheating there, nor am I worried about cheating now, but the situation just strikes me as odd and I don’t know why.
Anonymous
I read this as, I’m gonna go see her, if she has a hotel room I can crash in ill get drunk and stay there. If not I’ll head home
Are you jealous she’s getting an overnight and not you?
A wilderness ranger to me is exactly the kind of person who really means nothing by this except a place to crash. Camping will do that to you.
anon
I don’t think you need to have a reason in order to say it makes you uncomfortable for him to sleep in a hotel room with a female friend. It doesn’t make you the uncool girlfriend. It’s totally normal. Some people may be okay with it, but I suspect the large majority would not.
Anonymous
Your argument doesn’t really make any sense because I don’t really think that is about him having an opportunity to cheat or about them being long-distance. Any guy, even one in a non-long distance relationship, has some opportunity to cheat (at work, on an overnight trip with his buddies, etc.) It doesn’t mean that it’s not normal or fair for a girlfriend to feel like his staying overnight in a hotel with a woman is inappropriate. There are lots of reasons I wouldn’t want my DH staying in a hotel with a woman and the fact that it would give him an opportunity to cheat isn’t one of them. I trust him completely, and the OP said she trusts her BF.
NYtoCO
I’m sorry, so you’re saying she should be OK with this because he’s probably cheating on her anyways? What a weird/unhelpful response.
Anonymous
I thought she was saying “He has plenty of opportunity [prior to add’l information about his job] and you have had faith in him up until now, so don’t let doubt creep in to this situation where it’s actually a positive that he’s freely sharing this information.”
Anonymous
Depends on your BF and the friend. I’ve got a number of male friends that SO wouldn’t blink an eye at me sharing a hotel room with. But they are mostly friends he is also good friends with and knows I would never have any romantic inclination towards ever, for whatever reason. Now, if Brad Pitt (circa Fight Club) wants to share a hotel room with me, we might have further conversations about it…
SC
If you’re concerned, you should definitely say something. FWIW, I have stayed with male friends at their apartments, and I don’t think it’s a big deal. I probably wouldn’t react much if my husband did the same. But (a) apartments may be different than hotels because there’s some privacy, separate space (I don’t know why that makes a difference, but it seems to), and (b) I’ve been with my husband since our sophomore year of college, and we’ve both met any friends significant or close enough to stay in a hotel or apartment with. So if my husband wanted to stay with female coworker or new female friend who I didn’t know well, I would definitely be uncomfortable. And, probably, he’d feel the same.
Anonymous
I agree that an apartment is very different from a hotel, because you don’t sleep in the same room. I would have no problem with my husband staying on a couch in a female friend’s apartment, even if it was just the two of them, but would be bothered by him getting a hotel room with a female friend. Worlds apart, IMO.
Anonymous
This may not be helpful but…why are you not invited to go with him? Is it just a distance thing? Maybe he’s just not thinking about it, but I agree with the other posters; it’s a little weird.
Anon
The drive is much farther for me and would interfere with my work schedule (plus I don’t know the woman at all – it’s more of a high school friend meet-up). He’s definitely the type to just not think about these things.
Angie
I would also be queezy, but before counting it altogether out, find out what she has been up to since high school, and whether he had a crush on her (or slept with her) earlier. If the answer is yes, then you DTMFA if he goes and sleeps in the same room with her. You can also volunteer to accompany him and check her out for yourself. For all you know, she could be 300 pounds and look like a mongoose, in which case you are safe.
Anonymous
I dunno – mongeese are kind of adorable, in a weasel-y sort of way.
anon
“For all you know, she could be 300 pounds and look like a mongoose, in which case you are safe.” Wow, can we just…not?
Anonymous
Yeah, fat and unattractive people are gross and undeserving of love, and certainly can’t have other attributes that make them attractive!
matilda
I think it depends. With previous relationships situations like that would have really bothered me. With my current SO I don’t really think it would worry me – esp if they tell you beforehand, it could just be a ‘oh if it gets annoyingly late I’ll crash on the couch.’ I definitely have male friends that I’ve stayed on their couch before with just the two of us in the apartment and I had ZERO thoughts about cheating or any attraction at all towards them – my SO knew and also didn’t care. So I think it’s entirely possible that it’s totally platonic. But also of course it’s up to your comfort level – I don’t think it’s totally unreasonable to ask him to not do that.
Anon
I think I feel weird about it because we’re all adults – we’re not 21-year-olds with no money looking for a couch to crash on. It just seems off to have such a casual, non-private arrangement when we’re in a relationship and his friend is single – the dynamic would be totally different if it were a big group thing, even if I weren’t there. Idk – I guess I probably should talk to him. Thanks all for the advice!
MargaretO
I would have no problem this and would probably not date a guy who got upset about me being in an equivalent situation. Unless I specifically knew there was something else going on there I would assume that a platonic friend is platonic regardless of the genders and sexual orientations involved. I know that is not a super popular position but I am honestly perplexed by the idea that sleeping in the same room or bed as someone is necessarily a sexual activity.
DC Anon
+1
Big bed pillows?
Shopping challenge —
I’m looking for large cushion-like pillows to put up against the very hard headboard of my bed so that I can recline and read with more than just normal pillows squished up behind me. It’s surprisingly hard to find anything bigger than 20×20 with a removable pillow case/sham. I’d really like white.
TIA!
Anonymous
Look for king sized pillows, they’re very long.
mascot
Here’s 28×28 http://www.overstock.com/Bedding-Bath/SwissLux-Decorator-28×28-inch-Euro-Square-Pillows-Set-of-2/4493223/product.html
shadow
Not sure if this is what you’re looking for, but amazon sells Bed Rest Pillows that might be more support than a regular pillow. These are great for reading on a bed.
http://www.amazon.com/LINENSPA-Shredded-Foam-Reading-Pillow/dp/B0117SNG0O/ref=lp_3732021_1_1/180-0540216-8683956?s=bedbath&ie=UTF8&qid=1458158154&sr=1-1
LadyB
Any suggestions for things to do in Nassau, Bahamas?
Anonymous
Go look for Captain Flint.
(Any other Black Sails fans around here?)
Runner 5
Captain Flint is Swallows and Amazons to me…
tigermom
day trip to atlantis, charter fishing, eating conch, theres a beautiful yoga ashram if you feel like taking a day trip ( really nice and off the beaten teack), eat at poop deck.
Bonnie
I kind of like the pictured suit. I wouldn’t wear it to trial but it would be ok for a status hearing day.
Wow
I don’t know what’s going on with Kat’s picks lately. They are really terrible. No one with good judgment should be recommending a suit from Express!! And I say this as someone who loves my Editor pants. But suits? Nope.
Anonymous
Not everyone on this site is a Biglaw lawyer who can afford $1000 suits!
Anonymous
Or even $300 BR suits.
Anon
Yep. Also this is one of the few things that I’ve seen here that looks both modern and work appropriate (for out of court days).
In-House Europe
I’m 38, 10 years of in-house experience, and pretty high up in my company, to give you some background. And I would totally wear this suit. Even in the print version. Actually, especially in the print version.
Anon
I need to vent. I hate getting caught in the middle of family drama. My cousin is getting married. One of my aunts (not his mother) wrongfully assumed that his fiancée was a Trump supporter. Aunt claimed it was a reasonable assumption because of “her background and where she comes from” (Fiancée was born and raised in the south, is former military, and is pro-gun just to give a few examples). His fiancée is lovely and was really insulted by my aunt’s “someone like you” comment. Now half of that side of the family thinks she is overreacting and the other half thinks she is right to be upset. To be fair his fiancée is not dragging me or anyone else into it but others in my family are trying to, including my mom. I can’t wait for the election to be over.
Anonymous
Who cares? This is insane. Why is your whole family so weird and judgy. Just hang up and ignore all of this.
Zelda
Sounds like everyone is overreacting. Assume good intent, let it go and move on.
Anon
Southern, veteran, reasonable on guns… and a Hillary supporter, checking in ;)
Only roughly equivalent, but when I’m feeling overwhelmed in life, I repeat to myself, “All I have to do today is Wednesday,” meaning, I don’t have to solve the issues with my boyfriend today, I can’t save my dying grandfather, I can’t pay off my SLs, all I can do is Wednesday, so let me focus on that. All you can do is you, so focus on that, to the extent your relatives will let you :)
Anonymous
As a non-American, the rest of the world agrees that she is right to be upset. If you’re asked to take sides – pick the non-crazies who cannot understand why anyone would support Drumpf.
Anonymous
Can I just say that the “Drumpf” thing really bothers me? I find Donald Trump abhorrent but making fun of his ethnic-sounding original family last name is stooping to his level.
Wildkitten
Did you watch the Jon Oliver episode? It’s really just making fun of Trump generally.
Anonymous
I did. I thought it was very, very funny in general and certainly making a point about Trump’s hypocrisy regarding Jon Stewart’s name change is appropriate. But John Oliver’s skit (and Trump-haters in general) seized on the funny (and foreign) sound of the name “Drumpf” as a way to make fun of him, and that’s the same kind of xenophobia that Trump and his supporters use towards Mexicans and Muslims. I don’t see a huge distinction between referring to Trump as “Drumpf” and derogatorily referring to President Obama as “Barack Hussein Obama,” the way “birthers” do.
Lyssa
Anytime someone discussing politics uses any sort of insulting nickname to refer to a politician, even if it’s a politician I strongly dislike, I immediately discount whatever else they have to say. Do people really think that they sound thoughtful or clever when they do this?
Re: the OP – this dispute honestly just made me giggle. People who think they are open minded have so many preconceived notions about southerners. Can you just take the Gilmore Girls attitude of making a game out of your family’s silliness?
cbackson
Absolutely true and non-exaggerated things that non-southern people have said to me on learning that I’m from the south:
-“You have Jews there?” (My Jewish ex-MIL, on hearing me refer to a childhood friend’s bar mitzvah.)
-“I’ve always wanted to ask someone like you this – how do you explain the dinosaurs?” (Friend of a friend, assuming I didn’t believe in evolution. I do believe in evolution.)
-“I didn’t realize you would be friends with…someone like that.” (Accompanied by awkward gesture toward my oldest childhood friend, who is Afro-Latina. Statement made by someone from Vermont who had no POC in her social circle or family.)
-“Oh, you’re from ____________? You’re so well-spoken.” (IDK what that was about, but it seemed like code for not having an accent?)
lost academic
This, all the darn time. ALL THE TIME.
Runner 5
To Brits Trump is stupider than Drumpf: it means fart.
Spirograph
Is your family centered in a big coastal city where Southerners often feel like they’re fighting an uphill battle against being an “other”? That may play into her reaction beyond the Trump thing.
I have an aunt who would totally say something like this; she’s just opinionated and doesn’t have much of a filter between her brain and her mouth. If this is out-of-character for your aunt, maybe she should apologize. If not, maybe other family members should take the initiative to tell fiancee, “oh Aunt Sally, she offends everyone. I’m sorry she got you so early in your acquaintance.” Agree, though, everyone in your family is overreacting. Hopefully it will blow over.
FWIW, I’m a veteran. Not a single one of my veteran/military friends (or facebook friends) supports Trump, and like other reasonable Americans, most – including me – would be hugely offended if someone thought we did.
Anonymous
Your comment that none of your FB friends support him makes me wonder…none of my facebook friends has posted a single positive thing about him, and a bunch of friends have posted that they also have no supporters on their newsfeed. But there are tons and tons and tons of people who support him! Where are they!? Are they literally ALL being shamed into silence? I’m skeptical of that because generally people with obnoxious political views are really vocal.
Beans
I wish more were being shamed into silence. A lot of my family members and acquaintances are loudly supporting Trump. FWIW, I’m in the South and I sincerely believe that for many, many of these folks, Trump is simply appealing to their racist and xenophobic sides. It is absolutely nuts.
Anon because the flame is coming
What a fun generalization that ALL Trump supporters MUST be racist and xenophobes.
It’s like it’s impossible for anyone to understand that some folks support Trump because he’s markedly DIFFERENT than any other candidate. Trump supporters lump Bernie, Hillary, Ted and (previously) Rubio into the same bucket of ineffective senators who just play games and hold legislation hostage. Trump supporters I know are also small business owners who feel like Trump will push business friendly tax legislation.
Anon
It’s not impossible. It’s just f’ing depressing.
It boils down to “I’m not a racist xenophobe, but I’m cool with voting a racist xenophone into the highest office in the country, because XYZ is more important to me than his racist, xenophobic beliefs”. And to me there is no XYZ that makes that statement palatable.
Flame
Trump supporters at the very least be indifferent to his racist and xenophobic rhetoric. At some point it is one in the same. Bad things happen because good people stand by and do nothing, and all.
It is certainly possible to be anti-establishment without also preaching hate. He hasn’t done that.
Anonymous
It’s not possible to be pro trump and not racist.
Beans
If you’d actually read my comment carefully, you’d see that I didn’t say “all.” But, yes, if you are a Trump supporter than you are at least willing to turn a blind eye to racist and xenophobic statements and are fine with a presidential candidate who considered paying the legal fees of a supporter who punched a protester. So, feel free to be “flamed” by my comment.
Anonymous
She didn’t say that. She said “many, many” supporters like Trump because he appeals to their racist & xenophobic sides. He purposefully appeals to that side in part because he benefits from the press every time he make a new outlandish comment.
If you are someone who supports Trump for the reasons you stated, I would think you would be bothered by his appeals to racists and xenophobes because it takes the conversation away from the policies you support and would ultimately make any change you think he could bring less meaningful. At least, I would rather see the country elect someone who can actually effectuate the policy/political changes promised while campaigning rather than someone who wins on promises of things that aren’t within the scope of executive power or involve strong-arming other countries into doing things they refuse to do (like building walls).
Anon because the flame is coming
Nope, not a Trump supporter if it makes you feel better. I just know a lot of folks who are.
Wow
Then you should be working to convince them not to vote for Trump. Seriously. It doesn’t matter if you are a Democrat, Republican or Independent, we cannot let that man become President.
Anon
My family lives in New York. We are Latino and most of my relatives were born in Mexico (myself and my cousin’s were born on New York). Also although my family is religious it’s more for cultural reasons because they are very liberal on social issues and vote Democratic. Although I am trying to stay out of the drama I don’t blame her for being upset at my aunt’s comments. I wouldn’t like someone making not so nice assumptions about me (in this case that I was a racist, xenophobic, low IQ, gun maniac hick) just because of my background and where I was from.
LAnon
Just a moment to vent: for the last several months, one of my co-workers has had a chronic cough. I have tried to be sympathetic but it has seriously been months. Luckily her office is a couple down from mine so I can mostly tune it out, but when we are in meetings together, she coughs every couple minutes, loud enough to interrupt the conversation. Also, she doesn’t cover her mouth but just turns her head away from the group.
I don’t think I can say anything – if I were unwell and someone said, “Hmmm have you seen a doctor about that? Because you should! Because it’s annoying!”, I would find it really intrusive and rude. But oh. my. god. It is making me absolutely bonkers.
Anonymous
If it’s chronic, it’s probably not contagious. And it’s probably more annoying for her. And yeah, there’s not really much you can say about it.
anonymous
Yea, for all you know she could have throat cancer. It’s not likely, but it’s possible…. and can you imagine telling someone with throat cancer their cough was annoying you?
Anonymous
It’s also a side effect of chemo.
Annie
My sister had a chronic cough and it ended up being a sign of cancer.
You probably can’t say anything unless the co-worker brings it up, but I hope he or she goes and sees a doctor!!
MKB
This. It would be totally awkward to bring up, but I would, because my aunt ignored her chronic cough and by the time she saw a doctor, she had stage 4 lung cancer. (Since I have a personal connection, I would literally say “I feel awkward bringing this up, but I couldn’t help noticing that your cough doesn’t seem to be getting better. I don’t want to freak you out, but if you haven’t seen a doctor you really should. It’s probably nothing – and I hope it is! – but my aunt’s cough turned out to be her only symptom of cancer.”
Ellen
FOOEY! NO one want’s someone cougheing w/o covering their mouthes, and even if it is NOT contagous, do you realy want the room full of mucus from this person? Not me! Doubel FOOEY on that. When I was in college, there was this girl who refused to wash her sweaters. She could NOT keep a boyfreind b/c of this and every time she wore one, it took about 1/2 hour for it to warm up and start smelleing. No one had the heart to tell her she stunk, until I told my dad and he came down for gradueation. He went right up to the girl, told her she was VERY pretty, but the reason guy’s were repulsed by her was b/c she stunk and that was b/c of her dirty sweater’s. She thanked him for being so FRANK. I did not know if she ever washed her sweater’s or got a boyfreind b/c it was the end of the school year and she went back to Europe, where peeople evidently did that kind of thing. But the morale of this is to tell people when they are disgusting so that they might learn from you about they’re being gross. TRIPEL FOOEY!
chroniccougher
What the hell?
Anonymous
If she’s not covering her mouth (which, I get it, eww), it’s likely something chronic or perhaps a tic and not something at all contagious (and yes, I get it, she should still cover, but she likely thinks she’s not spewing flu everywhere). My aunt has a chronic cough/tic that is a side effect of medication she’s on. It’s incredibly annoying to listen to, but there’s not a lot she can do about it.
Anon
Fun story. My stepmom had a chronic cough that her doctor chalked up as a medication side effect. Until it turned out to be ideopathic pulmonary fibrosis (which is a terminal illness) and she died only a few months later. I’d be a little more sympathetic. It could be anything or nothing, but try to be kind.
LAnon
Sorry – just to clarify – when I said “vent”, I meant, this is an irritating thing that I obviously can’t complain about to the person in question so I’ll go on an anonymous website and say it’s bugging me. I know that it would be completely inappropriate to say anything and I should be a more compassionate person.
Cougher
I have asthma and will cough for months after getting over a cold. There is nothing that can be done about it. I try to minimize it and always cough into my elbow. The only people who comment on it are either genuinely concerned (and they never bring it up again after I explain once) or real jerks who comment over and over (e.g., “I can always hear you comics own the hallway! Ha ha ha!). If you say something it will be obvious that you are a jerk. It is much more annoying for your coughing co-worker to constantly be worrying about annoying other people with her cough, which I can promise you she already does, than for you to listen to it.
chroniccougher
I have a chronic illness and I cough all the time. As often as this woman, if not more. Sometimes I cough so hard I gag. I can’t help it. Do. Not. Say. Anything. Believe me when I say that she knows she’s coughing, and it probably drives her a thousand times more insane than it drives you. One of my law school classmates last spring said how much it irritates him that I cough all the time (after sighing VERY LOUDLY and moving tables one night while we were studying). It hurt like hell- still hurts, actually- because if I could stop it, I would. I know it’s annoying. Put in headphones. Close your door. Put in ear plugs. Turn on a fan. But for the love of all that’s holy, don’t say anything.
Anon
I’m tired of hearing people dismiss Trump supporters and imply that his supporters are inherently awful. I’m seriously considering voting for him since Bernie seems unlikely to make the general. Between Trump and Hillary, I prefer Trump. No, I’m not a racist or bigot. To all the folks out there wondering who likes trump, some of us are your colleagues and probably not who you’d expect. I don’t publicly tell people that I’m leaning his way because people are (to me) unreasonably and irrationally judgmental on this topic. I know many people will disagree, and that’s cool. Just wanted to offer my view.
Anonymous
You are, at a minimum, supporting a racist. That doesn’t reflect well on you.
It is neither unreasonable nor irrational to call a spade a spade.
Sasha
+1
Indifference to his xenophobia and casual racism equals support in my eyes. As a child of muslim refugees, I question anyone that supports him given all that he says.
lawsuited
I’m not an American or Muslim, but still find Donald Trump’s talk about requiring Muslims to register with the government so chillingly reminiscent of Nazi Germany in the 1930s that I’m shocked any voters can ignore it. Apparently 80 years is long enough to completely forget the lesson that millions of people died for us to learn.
NYtoCO
So my question to you would be: how can you accept and move past the absolutely horrible things he says about anyone who is a not a white Christian male? This is clearly everyone’s issue with Trump supporters, that they would vote someone so hateful into office. And it’s not only that his beliefs are hateful, but that many of those hateful beliefs may well translate into hateful legislation.
I’m trying to be as non-condemning here as possible, because I really would like to know what outweighs all of that bad for the intelligent, normal people that support him.
Wow
So, you are cool with violent rhetoric from a presidential candidate in the modern era? Cool with a candidate who consistently demeans and attacks women? It is not irrationally judgmental to be horrified that you would support such a man. We can all do better than Donald Trump.
Annie
Yeah, I can agree with this sentiment, but I don’t think it’s being fairly applied to the candidates. Hillary Clinton publicly demeaned women who came forward as having been sexually assaulted by her husband. Just in the last few months, she defended her actions in the 90s, again saying that those women shouldn’t be believed because they had no proof … other than their own accounts. This is disturbing to me. I certainly don’t judge Hillary for standing by her husband when he was unfaithful. That is a marital issue and between them. And I can even understand why she would hate the other women. But she publicly smeared them, and she defends herself. That is not okay. Women today deserve better. So yeah, Hillary can go on and on about how she wants equality for women, but her words differ than her deeds.
Calling a spade.
Wow
I agree with your comments, but I don’t see how its unfairly being applied to the candidates. I’ve seen articles (I remember one in particular in the NY Times in January) describing Hillary’s actions as to the sexual assault allegations and describing how they have threatened her supposed leadership on women’s issues. Women do deserve better than Hillary’s actions in this regard. But, I am still more comfortable with her as as President than I am with Donald Trump.
Anonymous
Can you explain how you can shift from pro-Bernie to pro Trump? I don’t know of a single policy on which their views overlap.
Anonymous
The common denominators are that they’re “anti-establishment” (although that makes no sense, since Bernie’s a career politician) and that they “speak their truth” (although again, that makes no sense, if the content of that truth matters at all to you).
Anonymous
Yup. Anti-establishmentarians who love a life long Senator and an absurdly privileged business man.
Anon
They actually overlap quite a bit. At a large level, they’re both economic populists. But as to specific policies, they are both against free trade; they are less hawkish in their foreign policies than most (ie, neither would overthrow Assad); they want to protect social security. There are more, just those are the ones off the top of my head.
The OP isn’t alone. Just this morning, NPR interviewed a Florida voter of Cuban descent who said he was thinking he’ll switch from Bernie to Trump, and the political press has been talking about this quite a bit.
Anonymous
this is interesting, the bit about Trump supporting social security. Seeing thing from really far away in good ol’ Europe, it always looked like Trump was tooting into the “if you find yourself poor, you must be stupid and lazy and therefore deserving to be poor”-horn like other trickle-down economists. So he is actually supporting solidarity for the worse off and the better off doing their share in society?
Anonymous
Awww how cute! Must be nice to be so good at make believe you can support an explicitly racist candidate without being racist yourself.
Anon
This kind of oversimplification drives me nuts.
anon
I’ll agree that it’s oversimplified, but as a person of color, if you’re totally okay with explicit racism, I still think there’s some kind of problem. Such a person is closer to “racist” than I think is okay/than I’m comfortable with, even if I don’t run around calling everyone who fits that description racist.
Marion
It’s not oversimplification. He telling folks that the reason good jobs are disappearing is because of the Mexicans/women/Muslims. No, it’s because wealthy a-holes like him won’t pay their fair share of taxes or you know, beyond minimum wage. He is using racist rhetoric to cement his own wealthy privilege and its abhorrent.
Anonymous
Can you explain how you’re deciding between Bernie and Trump? Like, on what issues do they both overlap with your worldview? I am not asking to be condescending at all, I have just heard this from more than a few people and would like to understand it better
Anonymous
Easy. You hate women a lot, so you won’t vote Hillary, and you’re so privileged you know you have nothing to fear from Trump, and you don’t care about Muslims or brown people at all, so you’re cool with Donald.
Anonymous
Exactly this.
Anonymous
+1000
Anon
I am ashamed that the young women growing up are learning what men – who are voting for Trump – really feel about women. It used to be politically incorrect to say nasty things about women (20 years ago, even 10 or 5 years ago), and now the men are voting what they really feel. I wonder what I could have done differently to prevent this. What happened that the men are supporting someone who treats women badly??
YetAnotherAnon
I am not the OP and not even an American. But if you don’t vote for Hillary, it doesn’t mean you hate women. Just her private server usage for public emails is sufficient to not vote for her. And about Muslims, future generations will understand what he was saying in 2016 when the Muslim population in the USA reaches 8 – 10% of the overall population.
Runner 5
Talk about Islamophobia…
YetAnotherAnon
Not really..pragmatism..I live in a country which has come under Islamic attack for more than a thousand years..and let me tell you..ISIS is not an aberration. It doesn’t surprise me a least bit when I read about rapes, murders, destroying anything deemed nonislamic, because this is not new.
cbackson
With all due respect, our Muslims are not your Muslims. I don’t know where you live, but the Muslim population in the US is much more secular and much more a part of the mainstream than is the case in, say, Europe. American Muslims are *significantly* more likely to have completed college than American Christians, and have higher household incomes. I’m not at all concerned about Muslims becoming 8-10% of the US – I’d welcome an increase in our college educated, economically successful population.
Muslims! They’re just like us, only better educated and more successful!
YetAnotherAnon
Well..dream on…and hope that it will not turn into a nightmare. It just shows how naive you are.
And just to remind you..your Muslims have also traveled to Syria and joined ISIS, just like the European Muslims. Education and being economically successful doesn’t really make much of a difference. Many of the terrorist attacks are financed by well educated and economically successful Muslims, heck even have carried out the attack themselves.
Anonymous
YetAnotherAnon- if you are so against this entire group of people what exactly is your solution? Your line of thinking sounds very dangerous to me.
YetAnotherAnon
My line of thinking will not sound very dangerous to you when you live in a place where have to think to even congregate in a place of worship during holidays, weddings, or even to be in a shopping mall during days of national importance because you never know when the next attack is coming and where. I don’t want to disclose where I live, but I can tell you that nothing has changed in a thousand years. Learn from history and learn from other countries who are currently facing the problems and prevent it from happening in your country. If you want to learn these lessons from first hand experience, you are free to do so..just that it is going to be very expensive.
I have heard the argument about few bad apples way too many times. If the population is significant enough..then just a few bad apples will be a significant number. You can be very proud of your Muslims in your country, but there are people outside your country who will lure the Muslims inside your country to carry out attacks. Please don’t tell me you live in some sort of Utopia where everyone is so perfect that this doesn’t happen. So how do you stop them? Mass surveillance? We all know how Edward Snowden turned out. Targeted Surveillance? Good luck fighting it out with human rights activists and so called “intellectuals”. And the added prize? No government will dare to act against culprits without hesitation because the significant population can impact the results of an election. Oh..I know the whole shebang.
I like as well as dislike views from both side of the centre depending on the issue. I am just stating here what I am living through. Instead of blindly bashing Trump on this issue (which makes you no different from people whom you are claiming as his blind followers), please do some research. Don’t just consume liberal media and make your decisions.
Anonymous
Anybody who uses the phrase “liberal media” makes it clear that whatever they’re about to say shouldn’t be taken seriously. Do you also work for the MRC?
YetAnotherAnon
Not taking anyone who uses the term liberal media seriously is akin to saying anyone who doesn’t vote for Hillary is a woman hater.I have no clue what MRC is.I am not a member of any political party or any group affiliated with any political party. I don’t donate money to any political party.I am just stating what I observe in my day to day life. I cannot classify myself as right wing or left wing person, for example (using the terms which are mostly used in the USA)..I am pro choice but also pro death penalty.
Senior Attorney
I think it is inherently awful to support a violence-inciting racist because you believe his policies are in your economic self-interest. Sorry.
Anonymous
I agree, but also if you support Bernie I’m mystified as to how Trump’s economic policies could be in your self-interest..there’s no overlap in who their economic policies would benefit.
Anonymous
Honest question: do you actually understand what any of Trump’s policies are and what he would do in office? Because I cannot figure it out and I really don’t think he has made clear statements about most issues. I know all politicians flip-flop to some degree, but I really have no idea what even his *current* views are on almost all issues. I get that people think he is pro-business and would cut taxes and deport all the illegal immigrants. But beyond that, do your really have any idea where he stands? I have visited his website and heard him speak and debate (on TV) many times, and I have not been able to glean his viewpoints, and that is the biggest reason why I am shocked when I hear an intelligent person is supporting him. Although I am not a fan of Bernie, and believe most of his policies are impractical, I think he is at least very clear on what he thinks *should* happen, and the same cannot be said of Trump.
Anonymous
My favorite is that he is going to “force” Apple and other manufacturers to manufacture in the U.S. How? How on earth do you do that?
Anonymous
Yes, you are a racist and bigot.
Anonymous
Racist and misogynistic rhetoric aside (because I’m skeptical Trump actually believes most of what he says, although what he says is certainly awful), if you support Bernie Sanders, you must believe that the destruction of the middle class and the exponentially growing wealth of the 1% is wrong, right? I feel like that’s the fundamental tenant of Bernie Sanders campaign. But that is exactly who Donald Trump is and what he stands for. Bernie hates billionaires and Donald Trump is an OMGBILLIONAIRE! I am so confused, because I honestly feel like there are no two people on the planet more diametrically opposed in their views than Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump. Hillary Clinton is way closer to Trump’s pro-business views.
And how can a Bernie Sanders supporter be ok with all the things Trump would (or at least says he will) do, like elimination of Obamacare (and no single payer health care), wars and torture, money spent deporting all undocumented immigrants, denying climate change, appointment of SC Justices who will overturn Roe v. Wade and important civil rights decisions, et etc
I can accept that you don’t care about Trump’s hurtful rhetoric, either because you don’t believe he believes it or because you’re not a minority and don’t care. But what about all the other issues on which his beliefs are the opposite of Bernie’s?
Anonymous
Unreasonably and irrationally judgmental that you’re supporting a hateful bigot? Sorry those of us who care about civil rights and equality are hurting your poor feelings.
LAnon
Trump Supporters: “I like Trump! He just tells it like it is! He’s not worried about being PC and he isn’t afraid to hurt people’s feelings to get his point across. This country’s become too soft!”
Everyone: “Okay but you realize he is racist and terrible, and that makes you racist and terrible too.”
Trump Supporters: “OMG my feelings! Everyone is SO MEAN! Why can’t people be more respectful??”
Anonymous
This is perfection. Thanks for making me laugh on a crappy day in the middle of a horrifying election.
DecidedlyNotAmerican
Ugh, the rest of the first world finds this whole Trump thing so disgusting. Bernie might actually bring the US up to par with other countries. Bernie wants to bring Euro/Cad/Auz/NZ ideals to America, do you not see the benefits of having a healthy middle class? The benefits of the poor being able to go to school (in that this basically eliminates poverty)? The benefits of single payer healthcare? The one percent have pulled the wool over the eyes of the general population, everyone thinks they are middle class however the vast majority of America is lower class or in poverty.
Decidedly American
DecidedlyNotAmerican – so Bernie is going to eliminate poverty like Euro/Cad/Auz/NZ all have? Poverty just wiped out? I’m an economist and I’d really like to see evidence of that miracle. That is awesome…but not really as poverty still exists, even in the oh-so-enlightened Euro/Cad/Auz/NZ utopias.
For the record, I hate Trump and Cruz and would only vote for Kasich (out of all the Republicans) but if it comes to a head-to-head match up between Trump and Bernie, I’ll pick Trump because Bernie’s policies aren’t sustainable.
DecidedlyNotAmerican
I’m not saying we don’t have poverty rates, key word is *basically*, but our poverty rates are 10-25% of what they are in america which is a huge improvement. There are also longer life expectancies because of preventative medicine and lesser stress of not being in poverty. Also his policies are very sustainable if America only cut miltary spending in half (which leaves them leaps and bounds above all other countries still). The high military spending propagates poverty because it deinscentivises education, its a guaranteed income, even if its a poverty level income. I am a sociologist specializing in socioeconomics, since we are playing the credentialism game.
anon
” The high military spending propagates poverty because it deinscentivises education,” Can you explain why you think this? As someone who has done a lot of work with the military, it’s only getting more and more important to be better educated for those careers. And a guaranteed income for whom?
DecidedlyNotAmerican
American military has lower standards than most countries for basic infantry. So your average 18 year old joe can fill out some paperwork and have a job. In America most young people have the choice of military (guaranteed income) or going to school (lots of debt and no guarantee of a job after). School becomes a much more viable choice when going doesn’t entail debt. Thus young people can join the militaryif it’s something they are truly passionate about, or they can study in their desired discipline.
Spiprograph
As a veteran whose college education, and whose husband’s undergrad and grad degree, and whose sister’s student loans are all paid by the US military, I take serious exception to the idea that it “disincentivises” education. The US military has a lot of skilled career fields, and a lot of very well educated people, even in the enlisted ranks. It is a professionalized force, and it is one of the #1 job training entities probably in the world. It trains health technicians, mechanics, tradespeople, and analysts in many, many disciplines. Your comments are offensive to thousands and thousands of people for whom the military is an incredible start to a professional career. Having other options than college is not a bad thing.
anon from 709
That’s what I was trying to say, Spirograph. Also, the point that any average joe can enlist is factually incorrect. A pretty big problem for the US military these days is how few people in the relevant age groups are actually eligible to enlist. I don’t remember the figure exactly, but I believe its in the single digits of percents.
DecidedlyNotAmerican
And thats why America will never change. Where I am from the military doesn’t hold this prestige, it’s just another job, the term veteran doesn’t hold you above others. The military where I am is a job you choose and not an economic necessity. Sure the US military might educate *some* but you shouldn’t have to put yourself through psychologically damaging tasks in order to get an education. Education shouldn’t be a carrot for those desperate enough to do anything.
Decidedly American
DecidedlyNotAmerican – I respectfully disagree. I don’t think Eurozone has solved many or most of its problems. Yes, the safety net is stronger there. And don’t get me wrong – I love my European friends, love visiting. But, respectfully, most Americans don’t want to be Europeans and don’t want to be socialists. Most of the US is split close to 50/50 Reb/Dem and I’d say that even most Dems don’t want to be socialists, though they do lean that way. I consider myself an independent and more frequently a libertarian. “Don’t tread on me” is more than a motto, it’s what the country was founded on. I’m a proud capitalist and though I believe in universal healthcare, abortion rights, gay rights and same-sex marriage, I don’t want to live in a socialist country.
P.S. I’m not one who commented as “anonymous”.
Spirograph
Ugh, I shouldn’t let internet strangers get to me, but this is exactly the problem that people run into like the poster’s story above where people make assumptions about veterans as a “type.” I see it so often, particularly among people with heavily academic backgrounds, and it is really infuriating.
My family is solidly upper-middle class and I had plenty of economic opportunity without joining the military; it was a choice I made after deciding that the college I was attending – to which I had a full academic scholarship – wasn’t for me right then. Does the military population’s background skew southern/midwestern and lower to middle income, especially in the Army (which is where you get those infantry comparisons about “lower standards.” The military is not a monolith, FYI. There is *significant* variation particularly stratified along lines of job code)? Yes, but these are not absolutes. I had really snobby ideas when I enlisted that I was going to be the best and the smartest in my very white-collar specialty, and I was so, so wrong about that. I definitely came across people who joined the military to escape a bad situation at home, or for a path to a better future that otherwise wouldn’t be accessible to them, but the overwhelming majority thought it would be a fun adventure, a good way to gain interesting or valuable skills, or had a family tradition or patriotic ideas about serving their country.
And “psychologically damaging?” please. Combat and direct combat support can be psychologically damaging, but the portion of the military that serves in those roles is remarkably small, and the people who sustain psychological or physical harm from it is only a subset of that. The widespread misperception that veterans are damaged goods is very harmful to recently-separated veterans seeking employment, and you should be ashamed of perpetuating it. Being a veteran does not “hold you above others” in America. It entitles you to certain benefits, and there’s fanfare around it on patriotic holidays, but I think most Americans are largely indifferent – despite the lip service paid at sporting events and the like. You ought to be careful of generalizing about a country and a population you seem to not actually have much first-hand experience with.
Anonymous
Walls are totes sustainable though. Bigotry too. It endures.
YetAnotherAnon
Well..Great Wall of China for example
Anonymous
Sociologist? lol how cute.
DecidedlyNotAmerican
Yes, becasue your comment makes the statistical analysis I do for government agencies and political campaigns irrelevant.
Spiprograph
Does your analysis include the effects of the Montgomery and post-9/11 GI Bill?
Gabi
Tip: when a suit skirt looks way too short on a model it will usually look fine (knee length) on petite girls (I’m 5’0). They are cheaper than regular length skirts and look proportionate without needing to hem it