Suit of the Week: Theory

109 Comments

1. Talk to me about Charleston if you’ve been there. In DC — looking for a 2 night, 3 day getaway somewhere. What did you do there — I like walking around old cities, historical mansions, shopping (don’t have to buy but just interesting shops). Would there be enough to do for 2-3 days? Not looking for a go-go-go trip, but also not a sit in the hotel watching movies trip. If you stay downtown, is it walkable or do you need a car? Weather and time is likely going to be my biggest issue. IDK if I have time in May, but I’m also someone who HATES hot, humid weather. 80-85 is kind of my limit. If late May/early June is the earliest I can go, is it better to then wait until the fall?

   1. I can’t speak to May weather, but I was in Charleston in late October and it was still very warm, and very humid.
      I loved the self-guided walking tour to see all the fancy houses on the water. Given your interests, you could definitely fill up 2-3 days. And you don’t need a car to get around — Uber/Lyft are fine if there’s somewhere slightly further that you want to check out.

      You can eat VERY well in Charleston, too. I know you don’t mention food as a priority, but it’s excellent.

   2. See below for additional comments, but yes, there’s plenty to do for a 3-day trip. Lots of walking tours as well as historic homes, churches, former slave quarters to tour on foot. We went in April. Definitely recommend staying in the downtown. Nice hotels and good restaurant options. It’s definitely walkable though we rented a car to visit some plantations outside the city and Savannah. Weather I can’t help you with–it is definitely a warm, humid city.

   3. FWIW, I was there the first week of June and it was boiling hot, would not recommend if you don’t like the heat.

   4. I would wait until the late fall if you hate hot, humid weather. It is a HOT city.

   5. We stayed in home wood suites downtown. They have valet parking. We used public garage as it was cheaper. We didn’t take out the car till the end of our stay as the location is walkable. There are public transit/ bus available ( free), if your legs tired. To beat the heat, We get back to hotel after lunch and take rest till 6pm and then go back to enjoy night life.

2. It’s spring and I’m ready for some new pants – I’m looking for ankle pants, like the Old Navy pixie pants. Any recs for plus size? I’m an 18/20 with an hourglass shape and I prefer bright colors over the typical black/navy/gray variety. Thanks!

   1. Eloquii Kady Fit. There are three different fits (regular fit for hourglass) and some come in different lengths. They come in a million colours and sometimes patterns and they really fit well.

   2. I like the stretchy but crisp fabric in Talbots Hampshire ankle pants (or Chatham if you don’t mind a side zip). And they’re 30 percent off.

3. I think I like this show but it is really, really dense (and at the end of the day, my attention span is the worst). Like I am not sure who the people are b/c they are all in . . . fur and armor? And have beards?

   Television Without Pity was the best and it is no longer with us, so what else might help (that is also a fun read).

   I am not about to just read the books, which I think are even denser.

   1. RIP TWOP. It was an amazing site.

      1. +1

         I miss TWOP.

      2. Oh, man. Me, too!

   2. Entertainment Weekly does recaps on their website. You may be able to find ones for the older seasons.

   3. I don’t watch this show so caveat emptor, but the podcast I listen to about the real housewives is also doing GOT recaps – and the guys who do it are hilarious. Watch what crappens.

      1. I just checked their Instagram to make sure I was giving you good info – their GOT podcast is called Winter is Crappening.

   4. LOL, no the books will not be of any help. Honestly, just try the wikipedia for specific episodes/seasons, especially if you are watching the older seasons.

      1. But TV without Pity was a great read in its own right. Anything like that?

         Their recaps of 24 were hysterical.

   5. It helps to watch with a friend who has seen it all and knows people apart. I have face blindness with all the characters and can’t tell 9/10 of the men apart (so many old white men with beards!!) but can remember weird plot details about people, so whenever I watch, I watch with my best guy friend who will explain who each person is and how they fit into the story in ways that make sense to me. Like “guy with ponytails under his chin” is how I know one character and my friend knows this and can explain how he’s fitting into the plot.

      I also read recaps and they help, except when they use names. Google is my friend, as is the pause button and subtitles.

   6. I don’t watch GoT, but Vulture’s recaps in general are hilarious in their own right, kind of like TWoP (although not as long).

   7. Many of the regular posters from TWOP migrated to previously(dot)tv. The forums there aren’t quite as active as TWOP in the good ole’ days, but they are great resources for plot reminders and theories!

   8. Vulture has great recaps. Also I found watching it with the captions on really helped me connect more of the dots as well.

   9. The Cut did a nice/funny summary of the differences between the GOT male characters – search for “How to Tell All the Men on Game of Thrones Apart.” It does not provide a lot of detail on each but at least some background.

   10. GOT veteran here. True confession that my husband finds hysterical anytime he walks by while I’m watching: I turn the closed captioning on. It helps me remember better when they call someone by name and I can actually see it. I also have a really hard time following even the slightest accent.

   11. I downloaded the books from Audible when I wasn’t able to keep track of the plot (which diverges occasionally, but at least it keeps the houses straight.)

       But mostly you just have to let it all wash over you and read a recap later. In addition to the good recaps mentioned here, check out the New York Times TV critics at https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/arts/game-of-thrones.html and the wiki here: https://gameofthrones.fandom.com/wiki/Game_of_Thrones_Wiki

4. Would love if you ladies would help get a list going — what are places that you’ve gone (preferably in the 48 states) that you’d recommend to people looking for a quick 3 day getaway? Bonus points if it’s places that are easy to get to from DC, but even if not, still interested. I feel like I get a spur of the moment idea to go away sometimes and I can afford it/take the time off, and then I don’t go because the planning and figuring out where take up too much time and then the moment passes. It’d be nice to have a list of places that others recommend/consider “must do” trips domestically. Feel free to include a hotel you loved/a site you saw that’s a must see etc.

   FWIW — besides NYC and Phila. (which I don’t count because I’ve lived in both places and I’m looking for places that feel different than the east coast) — I’ve liked West Palm (esp Palm Beach Island), Vegas, and Nashville (though I thought Nashville hotels were pricey).

   1. Charleston – relaxing, foodie town. It’s east coast but southern, which has a different vibe than Philly or NYC. The Slave Mart museum was interesting (although depressing)

      1. +1 Love Charleston. Interesting architecture tours as well.

   2. Cities (I really like to eat so these are mostly places with a really good food scene) – Chicago, Boston, Charleston, New Orleans, Savannah, Atlanta, Asheville, both Portlands, Seattle, San Francisco, Miami, Vegas, Kansas City, Indianapolis, Madison WI, San Diego, I’m sure I’m forgetting some. It would be a lot easier for me to list the cities I’ve visited and didn’t like, but then I’d just tick people off :)

      Non-city (harder in 3 days because you usually have to fly to the nearest major city and then drive, so you have less time at the destination): Napa Valley, Sedona Arizona, the Florida Keys, coastal New England, especially the Bar Harbor/Acadia National Park area, the central California coast, especially Big Sur.

      1. +1 for Madison, WI (and come see us in ATL)

   3. It’s not clear to me if you are looking for cities that are driving or flying distance from DC. But below are a few cities I’ve liked, all of which are very different. I don’t know that I would consider any “must see” places, but (1) I’m opposed to the concept of “must see” places cause it varies so much and (2) if I was forced to pick some “must see” places in the US it would only be DC, NYC, and a few national parks.

      – Richmond, VA
      – Outer Banks, NC
      – Charleston
      – Savannah, GA
      – Chicago
      – Montgomery, AL
      – Birmingham, AL
      – Saint Louis
      – Miami
      – Boston

   4. Richmond! We honeymooned there (stayed in a Museum District airnbnb) and it was lovely — pretty houses to look at as we walked around, great food (I highly recommend the Galaxy Diner, Early Bird Biscuits, and Perlman’s Deli), art museum, fancy old Byrd movie theater with red velvet seats, Belle Isle park. There were a lot of other things we could’ve done (we were there during the Shakespeare Festival, for instance) but I didn’t feel like there was a list of things we HAD to do so I didn’t have the issues with FOMO I think I would have had in a more conventionally “must-do” city.

   5. If in the summer:
      Minneapolis
      Newport RI
      Asheville

      Drive-able:
      The Greenbrier (WVa)
      Lexington VA
      Williamsburg

      If not in summer and don’t mind a bit of a flight:
      Phoenix (I love Arizona so much!)
      Tucson

      If not in summer:
      New Orleans
      Mobile

      And I love just about everywhere in Florida. Sometimes I feel like a fugitive, but it is all so varied and awesome in different ways.

      1. Minneapolis in the summer is over 80 and way humid.

   6. I just got convinced yesterday that I need to visit Bentonville, Arkansas, for a long weekend. It sounds like a naturally beautiful, growing, young city with great outdoor options, museums, coffee shops, etc. I live in Texas and now Bentonville is on my list.

      I also love West Palm and Palm Beach, Nashville, and DC.

      1. OMG YES TO BENTONVILLE!

         There’s a ton of great food in the area. Quirky hotels. Fantastic hikes close by if that’s your thing. An actual world class art museum (free, though the special exhibits cost a little). Cute shopping.

         1. For good measure, I think Little Rock and Hot Springs are also great places to visit. But if you’re just planning one long weekend in AR, Bentonville/northwest AR is the place to go.

      2. The Fayetteville/Bentonville area is awesome! So artsy and cute little shops galore! The downside is it is really really expensive to fly into. Many people fly in and out of Tulsa, and make the 2 hr car ride to the area. It is also a super great area if you are outdoorsy. Lots of easy trails nearby.

         New Orleans is a fun weekend!

      3. Bentonville, as in the home of Wal-Mart? I’ve been there. Full disclosure that I have not been to Bentonville’s downtown area, but I can confirm that the area around there is really gorgeous. U.S. 62 along Beaver Lake/Dam is really pretty – it’s hillier than you’d expect, so you get great views. And I was there in July or August and it was nowhere near as humid as other places. Arkansas really is an underappreciated area. The Natural State motto is deserved in my book.

      4. Former Arkansan from Little Rock. Bentonville is a great trip. Crystal Bridges Museum and trails. 21c hotel. Walmart museum for kicks. (What your stock would be worth if you bought it day one!) Cute downtown. I love going in the fall on a game day weekend and catching a tailgate and some SEC football festivities in nearby Fayetteville. Shopping and food on Dixon Street. Don’t go in the heat of the summer—humidity is ridiculous. Little Rock is a couple hours drive to expand the trip.

   7. Santa Fe, New Mexico. Fairly easy flight to Albuquerque and then short drive to Santa Fe.

      1. This is my hometown so I am biased, but yes! If you like hiking, be sure to make the drive out to Tent Rocks. It is incredible.

   8. Nashville hotels are pricey. Come back in about 2021 and they should be cheaper. We have something ridiculous like 1500 rooms coming online in the next two years.

      1. But will that really lead to a price drop? I don’t live in Nashville but I visit fairly frequently and I’ve heard from people that all the new hotels are just to keep pace with ever-increasing demand, not to outpace the demand. Fwiw, I don’t think Nashville hotel prices are *that* crazy. I usually pay about $200-250 for a nice but not super luxury hotel, and that’s what I’ve paid in plenty of other major American cities.

         1. I’ve paid $350-400 for the Hilton there before. Granted it’s a really nice Hilton and one of my favorites anywhere w the atrium, live music in the lobby etc. But $400 is what I expect in NYC. (Yes there were cheaper options but hotels are a big draw of traveling for me so I go with the nicest/newest build etc.)

         2. I live in Nashville, and for the past few years, the hotel prices have on and off been more expensive on average than Manhattan. Most of the hotels downtown are $400 a night on a normal weekend. I have seen $600-700 for holiday weekends.

            The new hotels coming online has helped stabilize prices. However– the city is also shutting down short-term rental properties, so it’s unclear to me that the new hotels are actually creating new rooms instead of just replacing short-term rentals. At a certain point though, demand will drop off for different reasons– people will have been here and it won’t be as exciting to them anymore and different things like restaurants will be more expensive and price out some tourists.

   9. Some more off the beaten path options:

      – The Homestead in VA – incredibly beautiful mountains, skeet shooting, spa, hot springs, has a more low-key vibe than the Greenbrier and is cheaper.
      – Houston – some of the best art museums in the US and amazing food from all over the world, plus it’s a slightly less expensive city so you can stay in a fancy hotel at a lower price point. I spent a great 3-day weekend there visiting the MFA and the Menil.
      – Phoenix – desert that looks like a Wile E. Coyote cartoon, good food, fabulous spa hotels.

   10. Chattanooga, TN should be on this list. Look for special events for a reason to go.

5. How soon is too soon to ask to WFH every so often?

   I recently switched jobs and now have a 90 min commute. For financial/personal reasons, I won’t be able to move closer to the job until next spring. While there are in-office meetings, the partners I’m supporting travel for work often and one partner WFH every Friday because he also has a monster commute. The associates in my group sometimes WFH (but not on a set schedule and there’s no set policy). From my vantage point I don’t see why I couldn’t work from home on days where everyone is out and I don’t have meetings/obligations; in fact, I would be able to bill a lot more not wasting 3 hours commuting. That said, I’m new, not trying to rock the boat, and I want to make a good impression.

   1. I’m on team “let boss (or other critical people) you’re working with know that you’re working from home this Friday” and wait for someone to tell you it’s not okay. Maybe at a one month point? Be Bold!

      1. One month would be too bold for me, reflecting badly on you. I’d give it 3-6 months.

   2. What year associate are you? How long have you been there (weeks? months?) How has your billing been so far?

      at least from my perspective (as a 4th year associate) those are the factors I would think are all at play. It’s a good sign that other partners work from home. I try to compare myself to partners, not other associates.

   3. I’m not a lawyer, but I think generally this is something you’d negotiate during the hiring process? It seems kind of weird to not mention it at all while interviewing and then ask a month or two into a new job (unless of course this is a recent change in circumstances, but I didn’t get that from your post).

   4. I’d wait about six months if you’re feeling comfortable, and then follow PP’s suggestion of “hey, I’m gonna WFH this Friday, email if you need me!”. I personally waited a year – my boss never mentioned it, he just often WFH on Fridays, and I felt comfortable doing so at the one year mark.

   5. Caveat: IANAL. You say you can’t move closer to the job for another year or so, so does that mean you plan to? In that case, you’d have to use up a lot of social capital and make good on a promise, but obviously you need the WFH option now, not later. Why not ask now (or in another month or two) and say, “once I’ve been able to move next year, I won’t need this flexibility as much/anymore.”

      Of course, if you’d rather have the flexibility going forward regardless, this doesn’t quite work.

   6. I think this really, really depends on your firm. The two firms I’ve been at are old school pretty big on face time, asking to WFH because of a bad commute, which presumably you knew would be long when you accepted the job, would reflect very poorly. Certain partners also have an “out of sight, out of mind” mentality, so working from home would directly affect my hours. My first step would be to ask another associate.

   7. Can you ask one of the other associates if there’s a policy? If there’s no policy, then ask them how long before they were able to WFH. I’ve definitely worked in offices where there was a formal policy, but no one thought to mention it to new hires (because under the policy, they weren’t allowed to WFH, yet). I’ve also worked in offices where WFH is done on an as-needed, case-by-case basis (need to let in repair person, sick and contagious but feeling well enough to get work done, etc.).

   8. FWIW– I think you should compare yourself more to other associates and not other partners. At both firms I’ve worked it, it was common for partners and associates with children to work from home often. At my current firm, I was even told in my interview that they did not allow WFH for associates (unless there was a family-related reason) because they needed people in the office to handle things as they came up.

      1. Yeah I don’t understand the advice about comparing yourself to partners at all. Partners have earned privileges like working from home that associates haven’t.

   9. I wouldn’t ask about it this early. Your boss needs to get a sense of you and your work ethic. Show them how good you are, then after maybe the first 6 months of being reliable, dependable, sensible, and all the other ibles, THEN broach the subject.

   10. It depends. I’m a third year, and I first did it at maybe the third month mark, by formally asking a few days ahead if I could work from home the remainder of the day after a morning doctor’s appointment. I live in one area, my office is in a second and my doctor is in a third, so it would be like burning an extra 1.5 hrs to commute back to the office after the doctor’s appointment, and the earliest was like a 9am.

       No one cared the first or second time, so thereafter I just started telling them I would be doing it rather than asking for permission. I still don’t take whole days to WFH just because I want to, but I don’t hestitate making the other half of my day after a doctor’s appointment or faraway hearing a WFH.

6. So on one or the other swipe apps, I often will match with someone and have a lengthy conversation (sometimes over a few hours, sometimes a couple of days) and realize I don’t want to meet up with them. Nothing specifically wrong, just not feeling it. Any advice on how to handle? To just stop responding or unmatch feels rude, and I dislike doing it, but a male friend who is actively on the apps too said that honestly telling them I’m just not interested isn’t great either and suggested I lie and say I decided I’m not up for dating right now or am seeing someone and it’s getting serious.

   My goals here are kindness first and honesty second. Scripts welcome! Thank you.

   1. Also on the swiping dating apps. I would just stop responding. It seems to be happening a lot right now (to me, not by me) and it’s pretty painless on my end. If someone unmatches simply because they’re not interested it might sting for a second, but not long.

   2. I used to say something like “It was nice talking to you, but I think we may not be compatible. Best of luck!” and nobody was weird about it. If they’re being inappropriate I would block them, but if they’re normal otherwise why not let them know? You don’t need to make up some fake excuse.

      1. +1

         I figure it’s good karma to give a short polite note to say it’s not a match vs.ghosting them.

   3. If we’ve just exchanged please, I simply ignore or unmatch, but if we had a more in-depth conversation I will write something like, “It’s been nice chatting, but I don’t see us being a great match. Best of luck out there!”

      I have to say it feels really good to not obligate myself to a date with some guy just out of a sense of politeness!

   4. You know yourself best, but are you just writing off guys because you get bored of texting. I hate texting, and don’t even like doing it with close friends. I hate that online dating involves so much texting; I mean, how much do I really have to say to a person I’ve never meet in person? If I used that to judge whether to meet someone in person, I would talk myself out of going out with anyone.

      If a guy seems interesting and normal, I’ll exchange somewhere between 10-20 messages before meeting in person. Personally, I would rather invest the time to meet for coffee then text endlessly, and I know that if we kept texting I would write him off. But I was willing to spend the 30mins to get coffee or drinks after work one day.

      This may not be you, in which case you can ignore.

      1. Oh that’s the opposite of me. I love texting! I just have time and energy for maybe 1-2 dates a week but I end up chatting with many more guys than that.

   5. Thank you all!

   6. I disagree with your friend (and so do my male friends FWIW). I don’t see any harm in telling them you’re not interested. Although I guess I’m more concerned about honesty. I don’t see lying to people as kind so I choose to just be straightforward. Maybe it hurts their feelings, but generally everyone knows where they stand and they’ve never met me so I rarely get a bad response from telling someone that it was nice to chat but I don’t think we have a lot in common.

   7. I had a really uncomfortable situation this week with a guy who got very angry because I changed my mind about getting together after we spoke. I realized, after one conversation (he insisted on calling me), that this was not a good match for me. He was a traditional N.O. guy with a huge family, worried about the fact that I’m here without family (for 29 year for god’s sake) and do I live in a safe neighborhood. I realized that this guy would make me nuts and would probably be horrified by me, so I told him no. He did not take it well.

      1. Ugh. I’m the one of the other NOLA resident commenters, and I immediately understood your reference to this type of guy as a “traditional N.O. guy.” The worst! (In other news, you made me worry for a minute that he might have been my psycho ex! But I think he is currently married to someone.)

         1. This guy was my age and never married… for a reason.

      2. Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Also – this is why I refuse to give out my number before I meet someone. Too many crazies out there. Glad you didn’t have to meet this guy in person to figure that out!

         1. I blocked him on my phone and on Match after he tore into me.

   8. It’s been nice chatting with you. I don’t think we are a match. Good luck to you!

7. I posted this morning regarding my boyfriend’s recent health challenges and I just want to thank everyone who responded. It was incredibly helpful to hear about other people’s experiences and (unfortunately) frustrations, and I feel like I have some new ideas and suggestions for my boyfriend. So grateful to this community.

8. Re: this morning’s tipping thread, is it a thing to tip the cable guy? I would have never thought so, but the cable guy at my house last week was hinting SO HARD.

   1. Nope

   2. What? No. I’ve never tipped a service person coming to the house.

   3. No no no

   4. Was he trying to get a bribe for giving you some extra channels? (I have heard of this.)

   5. I have never heard of doing that.

   6. Nope

   7. My DH is a cable guy. Some people do tip him. Usually it’s $5 or so, but sometimes a person with a big mansion who needs lots of work will give $20 or even $50. Company policy is not to accept tips, so the cable guy should not be hinting for one! People also give him all sorts of random snacks and sodas – he is very picky so these often wind up at home for me to try! What he really wants (and I think this goes for all the cable companies) is a good score on the survey you’ll get after his visit. He is evaluated on those for rankings/raises, so please don’t take it out on him in the survey if some other part of the company (dispatch, billing) annoyed you.

   8. I tip for the big initial set up. $20. Last time the guy seemed surprised! But I am a big tipper in general.

   9. I don’t tip the cable guy but I always tip the Triple A guy (whether tow, tire change, jumpstart) either $10 or $20, despite the fact I pay AAA membership.

   10. I tip the cable guy and other service/delivery people who come over, but not like plumbers and I’m not sure why.

       Honestly I hate tip culture. I always feel like I’m getting it wrong.

       1. I hate tipping so much!!! I would rather pay 20% more for everything and never be expected to tip. It’s so awkward and I always feel like I’m doing it wrong.

          1. +1 – I would ABSOLUTELY pay more

          2. +1 on preferring higher prices and no tipping. There’s quite a bit of literature showing how tipping perpetuates all sorts of pernicious discrimination.

             There are a few businesses in my area that have eliminated tipping in favor of fair wages and I patronize them to the extent possible.

             1. A restaurant near me tried to do this and all the servers quit. The fair wage was way less than what they were making in tips and the restaurant couldn’t raise their prices enough to pay the servers what they made in tips.

          3. +100000 It’s so frustrating to have this do we/don’t we and not ever really be sure if what we are doing is right. Pay your people right and pass it on the customers. Don’t put the burden on customers to determine someone’s salary.

       2. My SO is a plumber. He has never been tipped and I don’t think he would know what to do if he was. You’re not getting it wrong.

   11. Nope, no tips. I tend to keep some bottled water on hand for people working on the house and tell them they are welcome to use the powder room.

9. Planning a trip for June to the UK – Dublin (or nearby), London (or nearby), Edinburgh (or nearby). Total of 12 days on the ground. The only full weekend we have will be in London; we arrive to Dublin & depart from Edinburgh.

   Any recommendations for must-see or must-do activities?
   We are a 40-ish couple with no kids. Prefer eating & unique experiences rather than spending time at scenic/historical/museum sites.

   1. For London:
      Go to an Ottolenghi restaurant.
      Take a boat trip down the Thames.
      See a show.
      Go to Borough Market.
      Shop on Bond Street.
      Check out Time Out for special events.

   2. I posted a reply (but forgot to put it as a reply), it’s in mod for links so check later.

      Also, there’s a lot of great theatre in London, which I didn’t mention in my reply about Dublin.

   3. Edinburgh

      I have always wanted to eat at The Table in Edinburgh, but have always been too late to book. They only have 10 seats, and a set tasting menu. You prepay the food at booking, no dietary accomodations, only one set time (if you’re late that’s your problem). Tickets for june are supposed to be released May 1st, midday (GMT).

      For quirky: even if you don’t care for museums in general I would recommend a short (10 min!) visit to the National Museum of Scotland to see Dolly, the original cloned sheep.

   4. I did London and Edinburgh last year. I love history so I hit all the suspects in London but Westminster probably exceeded my expectations and Tower of London was a bit underwhelming. For art, I was glad I could hop into the portrait and national gallery so easily but I am glad I didn’t make a whole day of it. British Museum deserves a lot of time but it’s also kind of stressful. They are a must, even if they are trash for how they justify their stealing. When I was there the special exhibit was can’t miss truly worth it. British Library was nice but I don’t know if it would have been worth it if it wasn’t as close to my hotel but it’s super casual and easy to walk through if you need a break after the British Museum. Personally, I’d rather spend my time cruising the Thames instead. Maybe next time I’ll detour to Kew Gardens. I really enjoyed strolling over bridges and through parks, especially to break up the museums. I also had a bit of low expectations for the Natural History Museum in London (and I was right on when it came to stuffed animals) but the rest blew me away. It was a great place to be strolling through on arrival day when I was jetlagged. In Edinburgh, I liked the castle. I did some museums but mostly I liked being outdoors and walking Calton Hill and Arthur’s Seat. Leith and Dean Village were just fine, I wouldn’t go out of my way.

      For food and drink, Borough Market in London was fun but overwhelming. Mother Mash in London for bangers or pies and mash was a delicious fast casual detour. I love gin so I hit City of London Distillery and Edinburgh Gin for drinks and that was a fun experience. Oink in Edinburgh made me want to change careers and just sell crispy pig skin, it was that good. The Scotch Whisky Experience with the 5 tastings was a bit hokey at first but actually a lovely time and I’m a Scotch drinker now. Go to Dishoom in either location. Highlight of Edinburgh was tea at the Signet Library. I didn’t eat expensive meals or splurge on anything but this and I have no regrets about it. I have fully embraced scone and tea life in the past year.

      And bring amazing shoes. I walked 20-30k steps a day and thank god I brought my orthotic shoes or I would have died.

10. One of our best experiences in Dublin – several years ago now – was at a local pub for a “session,” basically a drop-in jam fest for traditional Irish music, or “trad.” It was in the upstairs bar at a pub called Devitt’s; we were the only tourists there. My ex-H is an amateur musician who plays traditional instruments and he loved it beyond all measure.

    This site lists music venues, for trad and everything else, in Dublin: https://dublinsessions.ie/ And from a friend at about the same time: “Comhaltas (pronounced pretty much like COAL-tis) – this is the society that promotes Irish music and culture. We went to the one in Monkstown, a suburb just south of Dublin, but there’s one in Clontarf, which is just north of Dublin, off the main motorway between Belfast and Dublin (the M1). Here’s the website that describes the sessions – Weds eves are the “join in” kind. http://www.clasac.ie/clasac/whats_on/weekly_sessions/ The music was amazing, everyone was incredibly friendly, and we had a great time” She also recommended the Dublin Literary Pub Crawl, http://www.dublinpubcrawl.com/index.htm

    Also, not to be pedantic, but Ireland is not part of the UK (Northern Ireland is) and you will need both British pounds and Euros.

11. Who else forgot admin professionals day? Argh.

    Remedied situation because I caught on by 11 but still.. that was a close one.

    1. I did. Gave her a check for $500 and said buy your own flowers. :)

    2. All 10 of my supervisors! I think 11 remembered but she resents the fact that people don’t have a day in her honor and she’s technically the most in charge this year. I usually like my job but this year was an especially poor showing. And it comes in a year when they’ve reminded me that they love me, they couldn’t do their jobs without me, but they don’t respect me.

12. In need of some immediate career advice!
    I am a federal employee of three years – I began as an intern during my junior year, and was then “converted” into a full-time position after graduating last year. I have had an INCREDIBLE experience working here. Because of the volatile political landscape, I’ve worked under a number of amazing supervisors who each afforded me great latitude in the projects I got to support and manage. My career interests were always put first, which allowed me to rise pretty quickly through the ranks. I feel very stable in this position and adore the people I work with and for. That being said, I had applied a while back to my “dream” job (in the specific government discipline I went to school for) for fun, not expecting to hear back. I ended up getting the position and accepted the “tentative job offer” (TJO) pending an investigation that takes a notoriously long time. Well a few months later and many months ahead of schedule, my investigation is complete and my FJO is coming down the pike. Except now. I’m wavering on whether to accept it. The office is known for being pretty rigid, which is due to their mission, but will be a change from my current office. I know my immediate supervisor is great, but don’t know anything about the senior leadership there, whereas I have a great relationship with my current senior leaders here. Basically, I’m afraid to leave a place I love and know loves me for something that I’ve dreamed of doing but in an uncertain environment. I guess I’m just afraid of change. Some other pros/cons: longer commute, one higher GS on the ladder.

    1. Personally, I would stay put.

    2. If the new position is still your dream job, I’d take it. My reasons: 1) if you pass up something that you’ve dreamed of doing now, you might not get the chance again. 2) If you can leave your current position gracefully, which I think will be no problem given what you’ve written here, then you can keep your current colleagues as friends and mentors. 3) Every work environment changes over time as people come and go. One place’s perfect environment now might not be so in 5 years, and vice versa. And, you already know that your direct supervisor would be great! 4) It sounds like you are just starting out. If you can get one higher GS and save/invest the amount of your raise each year, believe me, you will really appreciate that in 10 years. Good luck –

       1. Thank you so much! I am totally just starting out (I’m 22), so I appreciate any and all advice from those who have gone before me. :) I was pondering it this morning before I saw your comment, and you’re right – no environment is static, and I may never get this chance again. And if it sucks, well, I will have gained new perspectives and learned new stuff, which I can take and move forward. If there’s any time to take a risk, I guess it’s now while I’m still untethered to any real obligations (familial and otherwise)! And great tip on saving/investing – if you have any tips for starting out with investing, I would SO appreciate it (maybe that should be another post?). I have been saving, but want to start putting some of that money to work outside of my TSP.

          1. I’m sure there are others here with much more investing expertise, but a maxing out a Roth IRA in an index fund (such as Vanguard Target Retirement 20XX) helped me tremendously – I started as a young broke grad student. It is easy to set up and maintain.

             Good luck with your choice, it sounds like you have two great options.

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