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Updated: May 12, 2021 230 Comments · by

Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Tailored Short-Sleeve Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS) | ·

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One of the things I’ve been dreading most about a full-time return to in-office work is the dry cleaning bills. In order to increase the number of wears I can get out of a blazer before it needs dry cleaning, I try to avoid wearing sleeveless tops or dresses under blazers and stick to items with sleeves.

This short-sleeved A-line dress from Club Monaco would look great with a white tweed jacket for a classic black-and-white look, or a brightly colored linen blazer for spring.

The dress is $249 at Club Monaco and comes in sizes 00P–14.

If you're looking to spend a little less, Lands' End has an option that's available in both regular and plus sizes and is on sale for $67–$70. 

P.S. Happy Ramadan to those who celebrate!

Sales of note for 9.30.24

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Elizabeth

Elizabeth is a 30-something lawyer living on the East Coast. She spent seven years as a Biglaw associate in NYC, three years as a partner at a medium-sized firm, and is now in-house counsel for a large company. She loves Diet Coke, '90s sitcoms, and dresses with pockets.

Comments

  1. Anon

    This weekend I buckled down and did several work projects that have been haunting me. While it wasn’t much fun to spend weekend hours on work tasks, having these monkeys off my back was so worth it. I slept like a rock and my mood is elevated. Just do the thing!

    • AnonNoVa

      Terrific! I didn’t work this weekend (trying to reduce my 7 year olds screen time which only works if I engage with her when screens are off). My mom self was content but my work self wishes I had just “done the things.”

    • Cb

      Amazing! In the beforetimes, I would go to a cafe and sit and do the unpleasant tasks.

      • Walnut

        Yes!! I thrived on the buzz of everyone’s energy and doing the thing is just better with a cappuccino in a huge cup.

    • Anon

      Weird! I just posted on my FB that my goal today is to do the thing rather than stress about the thing! A friend replied that astrologically, it is a prime time for that!

    • nuqotw

      Go you! I came to work with a list of small things that I didn’t want to do and did them all – it feels so good!

    • Anonymous

      I also did most of “the thing” this weekend and I cannot tell you how relieved I feel. It has been a monkey on my back. I still need to do part 2, but I now have perspective on how much work that really is having completed part 1, and it is not that hard.

  2. Jane

    Does anyone have any wise words to share about maintaining friendships as adults, especially childless adults who in the absence of regular kids events are totally at the mercy of the other party making efforts to keep the friendship going as well. I feel (and have felt for a long time now, so not just covid related) that I’ve to always make the most efforts with the few friends I’ve locally since I moved down to a new city and they only think of me when they need something from me. Of course these are not close friends, although that’s not for the lack of trying and they sure do act like that when we do hang out (in reality or virtually). Happy to hear general advice about friendships and acquaintances. Mid-30s if it matters. TIA!

    • Anonymous

      I’ve found that if I want to maintain a large enough group of local friends that I feel like I have solid options for going out and doing things, it is Work. I’d love to be one of those people who effortlessly seems to be central to groups, but I never have been. For me, for those friends, it’s about whether I enjoy spending time together when we do hang out. So Sophie I see every 4 months or so to go to the fancy mall and Lindsey and I see each other often in summer because we share a love of patio drinking but honestly never in winter etc. I’ve embraced being The Person Who Suggests Things because it means when we do hang out it’s usually doing what I want.

    • Anon

      I feel you as a single person in my 30s in a city very far from the one I grew up in. I have started reading child rearing and pregnancy related books so I can better relate with friends who have kids, and can talk to them about any issue they might be experiencing (mostly with long time friends I grew up with). With new friends in the current city who only reach out to me when they need something from me, but don’t reciprocate when I need help from them, I just move on and focus on making new friends. With new friends generally, I only hang out with them for entertainment type things like parties, inviting them to events I want to go. But I do not open myself up to them about personal things, which I only share with long time friends. So I think the keys are to lower expectations and keep meeting new people.

      • Anon

        That’s why I read over on the Mom’s page too. I like to have an idea what my friends (and employees) are dealing with.

        • Anon for this.

          Thank you for putting in the time and effort to do this.

          As someone that deals with a senior female executive who is child- and spouseless and whose remarks have made me cry (off-camera) more than once last year, I really appreciate hearing that there are managers who care about their employees, and I’m sure your reports do, too.

          • Anonymous

            It is interesting that you seem to think her gender, family and relationship status is relevant to her management style. I wonder if you would make the same assumptions about a man.

          • Anon

            To Anon at 11.34 – family and relationship sratus is relevant in this context because its a direct comparison with someone with the same status in the comment the poster was replying to.
            I agree that gender absolutely does not and like you I find it weird that “female” was specifically called out.

          • Duh

            Yes of course Anon @ 11:34 – we discuss the issues of male bosses with SAH spouses all the time.

      • anonshmanon

        I sort of do the opposite and embrace being the friend to my friends who are parents, with whom they get to connect over their pre-kids interests. Sure, I will happily rock their cute baby or build bricks with their toddler, but talk politics or careers with their parents. My bff told me that talking to me is a welcome break from having her identity be 1000% mom. I think we are not as close as if we shared the parent experience, but we do have something special.

    • Anonymous

      I’m 40 with three elementary school kids. FWIW my childless friends are super important to me, I love having people whose lives don’t revolve around kids. Feels like an important connection to who I used to be before kids. If I come to everything you invite me to – that means I really like hanging out with you. In theory I’d love to be the person that comes up with plans but I’ve never been the lead person in a friend group and honestly these days, it’s all I can do to keep myself employed and the kids in clean underwear and not be buried under home renos and to do lists. I wish I was better at this but I’m just trying to get through the pandemic right now.

      What works really well for regular contact is weekly activities together. We don’t have a lot of covid where I am so I do a weekly yoga class with one friend and weekly adult beginner ballet lessons with another. In pre-covid times the yoga class would sometimes turn into getting a coffee or brunch. DH and I try to prioritize being active because it’s good for our mental and physical health. It works really well if that activity can involve friend connections. He runs twice a week with friends.

    • Anon

      You need to find some friends in the same stage of life that you are too. I have friends in both categories. You don’t need to try so hard and do homework, all you need to do is genuinely care about what other people are going through. And for friends with kids, you are probably going to have to make more of the effort in terms of planning things and meeting more than halfway. Finding friends who are in the same page you are is key for a more spontaneous life of being able to grab a glass of wine after work, do things last minute on the weekends, etc. The biggest thing that makes it easy is being willing to ask people to do things, and don’t keep score.

    • Anonymous

      I’d be careful about the distinction between childless and childfree. People often assume I’m the former when infact I am the latter and its always a bit awkward when I have to be like nope I actually have great fertility I just have no interest in using it.

    • Anonymous

      For friends I don’t talk to regularly I do two things – I put reminders for myself to reach out and I also make it a practice to reach out as soon as I think of someone. If I think – new restaurant Shelby would like – I reach out then to see kf she’d like to go soon. I went years with few friends but this is working for me in the last few years. I also have a group that meets weekly in the same spot, which is great because no planning is required, but I know not everyone has that and it is pretty recent for me.

    • Jane

      OP here. Thanks for all the comments so far, super helpful. I want to add/clarify it’s not even just meeting up physically. Especially with covid and quarantine year I’ve increasingly felt that even low effort things like interacting on social media (where they’re active) or just polite texts seems to be really unidirectional and/or centered around their lives. Not all “friends” here have kids either.

      • Anonymous

        I feel you. I had a very close friend (she referred to me as one of her best friends at one point) text me at 11:00 pm on my birthday last year apologizing for not calling me on my birthday. She actually texted me that she had a birthday card for me but couldn’t get it in the mail on-time but she’d send it right away. That was last April and I never got it. This was almost 2 months into lockdown so I find it hard to believe that she couldn’t get a card in the mail. She has no idea how much that really hurt me. She has all the time in the world to post on FB, but not to put stamp on a birthday card? The fact that she never sent it sent me a clear message that she didn’t value our friendship the way I thought she did. I’ve moved on.

        • Anon

          Maybe she never sent it but I had a ton of work mail go missing around that point that I knew I had sent. It could have been the USPS fiasco.

        • Anon

          I think you’re looking for drama here. Who gives a crap about a piece of paper sent through the mail. Your friend texted you on your birthday and wished you well.

          • Anonymous

            Right. And apparently selected a birthday card for you, which is more than most adult friends do in my experience.

        • Anon

          Gently, I feel like I would have this same reaction to the card thing and I would need someone to snap me out of it.

          I actually vividly remember finding physically mailing things early in the pandemic one of those things that felt harder than it probably should have. Leaving the house was stressful. Whereas in normal life I pass by mail boxes all the time, early in the pandemic I naturally passed by 0. I was a little afraid to touch the public mail box to put it in. Etc. I could also see it being one of those things where the longer you put it off, the worse you feel about actually sending it.

          That being said, it sounds like she maybe hasn’t been a great friend since then either. But…pandemic.

    • Anon

      I don’t care for kids and I am a huge music enthusiast, so my mom friends latch on to me for non-child-friendly activities like music festivals, outdoor concerts, dive bar gigs, etc. I think it helps that I have a “category” because it saves people from scrambling for ideas to interact with me.

      I also don’t drink, so they know if we get together they can cut loose and I will drive them around. I’ve been told multiple times that they greatly look forward to that part.

      • Anon

        I am a mom and I would appreciate you!!! I am also a huge music enthusiast and the older I get (I’m in my 40s) I find it’s hard to find people that want to go to live shows with my same level of enthusiasm (I.e. sometimes obscure bands, and no I don’t want to chit chat over the music!).

    • Senior Attorney

      One thing that has been great for me is to have standing dates with friends. Like (pre-COVID, alas), I had breakfast with one friend on the first Tuesday of each month, and lunch with another on the third Thursday, and dinner with another on the second Tuesday. My husband had/has a weekly cycling-and-pizza night with a group of friends and whoever is available shows up. It’s great because the organizing is already done and you don’t have to invent the wheel each time.

      • Senior Attorney

        And… just saw your follow up post, so I guess this may not be super helpful. If your friends seem self-centered, maybe make an effort to push back and share your own news?

    • Anonymous

      I’m 47 and no kids of my own (step mom to grown kid). What has helped me through the years is a lot of one on ones. It may take weeks or even a month out to schedule, but it ensures we continue to talk and it being one on one vs a group lets the connection be more than surface. Sometimes we may meet a few times a year and when life gets in the way it may only be once or twice a year. I randomly email or text when something reminds me of someone as well. I also put a lot of effort into friendships with those I prioritize and less so with others. If I feel like I’m always the one making more than half effort, it starts to not feel good and becomes less of a priority to me. Not friendship-ending, but just a little less focus on my part. Yes, I’ll drive super far just to watch you fold laundry a time or two. But that’s about all. If it becomes the routine, the reality is I have my own laundry to fold and don’t want to feel like a second class citizen just because I don’t have kids. My friend group now is a mix, although mostly moms and they’ve juggled getting together every few months or so from the get-go. Those who have acted like they are the first to ever become a mom have pretty much stayed that way and our friendship has gotten more distant as a result. Maybe it’s not so much mom vs. no-mom as it is surrounding yourself with a lot of folks who share genuine interest in socializing. If you can get a standing “thing” that also helps–for example, when some of my friends’ kids were young, we would all go to a scarecrow festival every year. One of us would watch the kids while the others chatted and we’d rotate. Or maybe it’s a book club. I also try to be flexible with time, Maybe it won’t always be a weekend because kids get busy with sports and what not. It might be a late-night dessert meet up on a random Thursday or something.

      • Anonymous

        Agree on the one-on-ones and want to add that weekend breakfasts have been a great kid friendly activity while I get to see my mom friends.

        I’m currently childless, though I hope to maybe have one later, and when frustrated, I remind myself that this is just the season of life we’re in.

  3. Anon

    Help me put my finger on something that’s bothering me. I am South Asian and my husband and his family are white from America. We live several states away from all of our families, so during the pandemic my mother in law has been reading to our kids over FaceTime. She sometimes also shows them family pictures, tours her house, plays with the pets. The kids love it and it gives us a nice break. The other day, she was showing the kids our wedding photos. We had a big Indian wedding with all of the traditional ceremonies and games. MIL loved our wedding and loved sharing the pics with everyone. The kids were asking her questions about the different parts, what’s the coconut for? Why did they take daddy’s shoes? Why is there fire?! MIL tried to do her best to explain things that she has little clue about. But…it just felt off. After the FaceTime was over I answered all of the questions; I love Indian weddings and want my kids to appreciate our culture. I’m pretty sure I would never say anything to MIL, but I don’t like her explaining my culture to my kids.

    • Cb

      I could see why that bothered you but perhaps she didn’t know how to say that she didn’t know? It might be a good opportunity to get out your wedding photos and sit down with your kids in a “I saw you had lots of questions for grandma…”

      • anonshmanon

        yeah, this. It felt awkward for you, probably also for her, but sometimes things are going to feel awkward even if nobody did anything wrong.

    • Flats Only

      I think that unless she was making fun of the parts of the wedding, or demeaning them in some way, that you should let this go. From your description it sounds like she did her best with the explanations and was respectful. Your kids will get all the cultural fine print from you, but it’s probably an added bonus for them to see someone outside of your culture who appreciates and is enthusiastic about it.

    • Anon

      Also South Asian – your kids asked. She was trying to answer. I would assume good intentions and not give it a second thought.

    • Anonymous

      I think you’re being way overly sensitive. She’s a nice grandma making an effort to engage with your kids and answer their questions.

    • Anon

      I’m guessing she knows this is your break time so she didn’t want to say “go ask Mommy.” She probably figured you could fill in the gaps after.

    • anon

      I think the question you should ask yourself is why your kids had to ask your MIL these questions. Are you upset with her or are you upset with yourself that you hadn’t already shared these traditions with your children?

      • Anonymous

        +1. It sounds like there may a little jealousy or resentment at play here. Your MIL did nothing wrong. It doesn’t mean you can’t feel your feelings, but I wouldn’t accuse her of anything or turn this into a thing.

    • Anon

      I think it was nice she did her best. It shows she really has tried to get a clue? I dunno, don’t think this would bug me. I think she sounds pretty awesome. I wish my in-laws did half this much! I’ve had trouble keeping them in touch with the kids during the pandemic and even during normal times they don’t like to travel to see them.

      Also totally agree with your pulling out the photos and telling more about them after. But I wouldn’t highlight MIL’s ignorance to the kids either (doesn’t sound like you did!)

      • Cat

        This was my read, too. In an ideal world she would have added to her description “Grandma doesn’t know all the details but mommy does you should ask her tomorrow!” but this is not something I would hold against MIL.

    • anon

      What did you want her to do in the moment? I get why it felt off, but I feel like she was probably doing her best?

    • Anonymous

      I think what is off here is your reaction. She was doing her best and did not say anything offensive–far from it. And if she’d said “go ask your mom” instead of trying to answer, you probably would have been mad that she hadn’t made the effort. You even seem to be offended that she had the photos in her album and was showing them to your children.

    • Anon

      Girl, you are looking for an issue. I’d be thrilled if my in-laws knew anything about my culture or cared enough to listen to a point where they could make educated comments.

    • Anonymous

      So I’m your husband in this scenario. I have previously explained things the best I could in the moment and then followed up with my husband. I really really value his culture and work hard to make sure we cook foods from his culture, his language present in our home etc. But I’m sure I mess up lots of times. If I put myself in your MIL’s shoes – I think saying something like ‘I don’t know what that means – ask your mom’ might have felt dismissive to her. Like saying those things didn’t matter enough for her to remember. So she did try to remember and explain. I would see her effort at explaining as wanting to show her valuing the incorporation of those traditions.

      I don’t think you need to say anything to your MIL. This is barely a blib for your kids. They will definitely primarily and almost exclusively learn about your culture from you. The main takeaway from the interaction for them was likely that your wedding had parts of both cultures.

    • Anon

      i would say in any other context, especially today, this would be strange. like white woman explaining indian wedding to white children. you are totally allowed to feel how you feel. it doesn’t seem like her intention was to improperly explain indian culture or to come across as an expert?

  4. Anonymous

    For those of you that have kids, did you and your spouse/kids’ other parent get the same COVID shot, or different?

    DH was eligible first and got J&J. I’m still not eligible (but soon!) and we were thinking- does it make sense for me to also get J&J and have us both fully vaccinated quicker? Or just in case something ends up being long term good or bad with one of the other options, should I get Pfizer/Moderna? It’ll be 6 weeks or so longer until I’m fully vaccinated that way, but if it turns out J&J has some long term side effect we don’t know about now, we *both* won’t have it.

    Since I’m not yet eligible and all 3 are fairly available near me, we have the luxury (?) of picking. WWYD and why?

    • Anon

      honestly, this didn’t even cross my mind until you posted about it here. i also sort of had the luxury of picking and had a preference for Pfizer or Moderna over J&J, but the first appointment I could get was with Pfizer and the first appointment DH could get was also with Pfizer. So we both have Pfizer and hopefully it doesn’t have some crazy long term side effects since we have two small children…. I’d choose Pfizer over Moderna bc you are fully vaccinated more quickly and it seems as though Moderna has more side effects than Pfizer. But for anyone else reading this – I’d also choose whatever vaccine I could get if I didn’t have a choice!

    • Anonymous

      We took what we could get as soon as we were eligible, and ended up with 1 Moderna (husband, first shot back in Jan.) and 1 Pfizer (me, got second shot on Saturday).

      • Ellen

        I have not, but often think that Privacy would be alot more peaceful then litigeation, tho my firm does not do any privacy things other then putting a notice on our website that we respect the attorney cleint privilege, and that privacy is one of our core values, meaning we don’t share HIPAA information we get in litigeation. The manageing partner has not asked me to do anything on it yet. If he does then I may decide to become the firm’s privacy expert and hand over some of my cases to others.

    • Anon

      Neither of us had a choice and ended up with Moderna and Pfizer. My first gut would go with whatever is available first, and then if I still had a choice I’d choose something different. I know that means longer wait to effectiveness in your case, but I’d do it not so much for potential long term effects, but in case more variants pop up in the future – there’s more likelihood at least one of us will be protected against it and would still be able to take care of the kids.

      • Anon

        This. I’m less worried about you both being hit w/ a freak side effect and more about having immunities and not sick at the same time with COVID. Getting different vaccines seems to diversity your immunity a little? We didn’t have a choice and my H got Moderna and I got Pfizer. Now there is so much more availability that it seems like there is a choice. One of our local pharmacies were offering vaccines on a walk-in basis!

    • Anon

      The only planning we did was deliberately stagger shot #1 by a week (we both got moderna) so that we didn’t have the day-after illness at the same time.

    • Betsy

      Long term side effects that don’t show up right away are very unlikely with vaccines, because they clear from your body so quickly. If something is going to happen, it’s going to happen while the vaccine is still present. I wouldn’t worry about getting different vaccines from a long term side effect perspective. Personally I am excited that some of the more high exposure members of my family have gotten J&J, because the faster period of time to fully vaccinated makes a significant difference in their level of exposure. I am still at home all the time, so I was happy to get Pfizer since the additional few weeks before I’m fully vaccinated won’t make a big exposure difference for me. If you literally can choose between vaccines on the same day, I would make the choice based on your exposure level. Otherwise I would just take whichever one was available first.

      • Anonymous

        This isn’t true but it gets repeated nonstop. People have all kinds of considerations for preferring one over the other. Some are deathly afraid of needles and need to do the one-shot. Others have high exposure and need protection, any protection, fastest. Some are high-risk and need the two-dose regimen for the slightly increased efficacy based on our best current estimates. Try listening to the OP’s concerns.

        • Anon

          Yeah maybe at the beginning but now that supply is up, you can debate which is better for you. Many locations let you pick.

        • Anon

          Um, for some populations (jail, homeless, homebound people), J&J is probably superior b/c it lets a lot of shots get into a lot of arms.

          • Anonymous

            Yes, another example that fits my point. There are a lot of different considerations and the facile “the best shot is the one you can get” doesn’t even begin to capture that.

    • Anonymous

      I got Moderma because that place had spots sooner. The Phizer place is closer but had a longer wait. Not sure what husband will do. My place was drive-through, which I didn’t know in advance but may sway spouse to get that.

    • Anon

      Long term side effects are a red herring. I’d pick Pfizer/Moderna (got Pfizer personally) because the protection rate when fully vaccinated is higher than J&J. But both prevent hospitalization and death at 100% so it doesn’t really matter. Also at about 3 weeks with all of them, you have the same level of protection.

    • Anon

      I think the biggest concern is not getting the vaccines at the same time; you don’t want to both be spiking fevers and unable to care for yourselves when the kids need caring for. My husband gets his second shot this week; once he’s feeling better, I will schedule my first shot.

      • Anon

        Fwiw, my husband and I got our shots together (weirdest date we ever went on), and we both reacted differently. I had no response to the first, we both felt crummy after the second but at different times and to different extents. If you have little kids, might be good to space it out. But if you don’t it’s kind of nice to have someone else feeling crummy enough to just chill out and order in with.

        • Anon

          That was our take (I’m the Anon at 10:13 am). Since we have a toddler, we are spacing out our doses. If we didn’t, we would order take out and veg out on the couch together.

      • Anonymous

        yeah, that wasn’t even an option for us as I’m still not eligible. DH got his this weekend and I’m eligible next week. All 3 are readily available around us. We’re all low risk (though DH has a BMI making him eligible earlier than I am). My mom got J&J and my dad got Pfizer. I guess if I also get J&J and there’s a mutant chip activation, my Dad gets solo custody of the kiddos.

        I’m hearing 3rd hand rumblings about some vaccines being more or less effective against some of the newer variants…but I’m so exhausted by it all that I haven’t done much research. My arm is ready when it’s my turn.

    • Anon

      We both got Pfizer. So I guess when they activate the mind-control switch, our family is f***ed (unless one of us turns out to be Divergent).

    • NYCer

      My husband and I both got J&J, and never thought about whether or not to get different shots until this post. We both became eligible at the same time, I ended up scheduling mine 4 days before my husband. We deliberately did not want to go the same day.

    • Anon

      This is one of the crazier things somebody has decided to worry about, and that’s saying something.

      • Anon

        You just failed all three prongs of the “Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?“ test.

          • Anon

            No, it’s really not. Please don’t convince yourself that you’re doing a public service here. OP, you’re not crazy and I’m glad you posted today!

        • Anonymous

          Ugh I hate that phrase, the ‘kind’ part basically bars any form of constructive conversation or criticism. It’s especially limiting in regards to social or environmental issues because you know what it’s not kind to tell someone their lifestyle has negative consequences but it’s so effing important that people know for example that their $5 t shirt comes at the cost of abusing women in developing nations and an incredible amount of pollution.

          • Anon

            I disagree. I think you can absolutely have that conversation while fulfilling all three prongs of the saying. Even if you can’t get all three, you can get at least two. Obviously it’s not an ironclad law, but I think it’s a useful guideline for posting on a fashion blog.

    • Anon

      I got Pfizer, my husband got Moderna. He was eligible a week before I was for the first shot, but since Moderna is 4 weeks between shots and Pfizer is 3, our second shots were only three days apart. It was no big deal.

      It was actually nice for us that we didn’t have the same appointment because one could drive the other to the appointments. His was drive through. Mine was at a big convention center and he could go find parking for the time it took me to get the shot and wait 15 minutes.

      Our reactions weren’t the same either – my reaction to the second shot was a lot worse than his but it was nice they were staggered at least a little so that he could support me when I was under the weather.

    • RR

      This is the exact reasoning my husband gave me for why he chose J&J (he had a choice when he signed up) after I got Pfizer. I don’t think it matters, but it made sense to him.

    • Anon

      Do you and your husband travel in separate cars when you are going anywhere? That is a more realistic risk.

      • Anonymous

        OP here. If it were a one time deal, maybe we would! It’s literally all the same to me- I have the choice of all three, the same day, same distance. That’s why it even came up- if there were other considerations I would have gone with the most convenient/quickest.

    • Anon for this.

      I am, I think, one of the more Covid-cautious readers here and have been burned for some of my child-Covid-safety questions before.

      That being said, I don’t think this is worth worrying about. My husband and I got our Pfizer shots on the same days, and our side effects and timing of those side effects were different enough to not be an issue.

      As for different efficacy against different strains etc – there are so so many individual and not well understood factors that influence whether someone gets infected, how badly they are getting sick etc… I think trying to further optimize or “diversify” your vaccinations doesn’t make much sense to me.

      Long-term effects of a vaccine are super unlikely, and are mostly a strawman argument of many people opposing vaccinations (not that I think you fall into this category).

    • Anon

      My husband and I got different ones not due to long term effects from the vaccine but rather just in case one lasted longer than the other. We wanted the chance that one of us would be healthy/alive for our kids. It doesn’t really make sense but also he only got offered Moderna (several weeks after my J&J) so it would have happened either way.

  5. Anon

    Has anyone switched from litigation to privacy type of work? If so, I would love to hear how difficult of a transition it was for you,m. I dislike the adversarial nature of litigation, and find privacy issues fascinating. However, I’m a mid-to-senior associate now, so I don’t know if it’s possible to start afresh in privacy.

    • Ellen

      I have not, but often think that Privacy would be alot more peaceful then litigeation, tho my firm does not do any privacy things other then putting a notice on our website that we respect the attorney cleint privilege, and that privacy is one of our core values, meaning we don’t share HIPAA information we get in litigeation. The manageing partner has not asked me to do anything on it yet. If he does then I may decide to become the firm’s privacy expert and hand over some of my cases to others.

    • Anon

      I did that, but 11 years ago, for precisely the same reasons (dislike fighting all the time, discovery battles, etc.). My whole career is now built around privacy. There’s so much demand — it’s definitely doable. I would start by following IAPP, consider getting certified, etc. (longer term IAPP has less utility for lawyers but it’s a good way to get your foot in the door and show your dedication). My sense is that it’s fairly easy if you’re bright and motivated. Steep learning curve at first but once you’re there those litigation skills serve you well. Good luck!

    • Anon

      Make sure you like the subject matter. I think data privacy is the most boring topic ever. It’s also niche compliance so unless your company has a big issue with it, you’ll never have a seat at the big kids table. If you want a specialty law job, I’d go for tax or something else that’s likelier to have long term legs. I don’t think this will stay a hot area past the initial implementation years (I’d give it 10-15 years before it’s just a low level monitoring job).

      • Cat

        You may find yourself competing for “JD preferred” positions FWIW. Like – my company has some attorneys that specialize in privacy, but most of the privacy positions are in a non-legal area and it’s full of non-practicing lawyers.

        It is definitely a busy area but one where you are often seen as the enemy of a deal (“oh privacy said no”) – so someone who can understand what is actually against the law vs not a “best practice” is extremely helpful.

  6. Anon

    Hoping someone can help. I’m 99% certain a cleaning lady stole my engagement ring and a designer handbag from my closet. How do I (a) find out whether the company she is employed by is actually licensed, insured, and bonded (it has represented it is) and (b) if it truly is, get the insurance and bond information if the company doesn’t provide it to me outright? Has anyone field this type of claim against a company’s surety bond? All advice is welcomed. Thank you!

    • Anonymous

      Why didn’t you get this information up front before allowing the cleaners in your home?

    • Anon

      I would say you need to make a report to the cleaning company right away, first and foremost. To the extent they are insured, timely notice is often a factor in whether insurance companies will attempt to deny coverage. So you need to make a report to the company and ask that they notify their insurer. Depending on how they respond is going to determine your next steps, but you don’t personally need to find out if they are licensed, bonded, and insured at this stage.

      • Anon

        Thank you. I have notified the company and also contacted the police for a report. I had not asked that the company notify their insurer but I did ask for their insurance certificates which the company is resisting.

        • Anon

          Yea, I mean how much money are we talking about here? It might be worth it to involve an attorney if they won’t provide you with a certificate of insurance. Just as a tip, if it comes down to filing suit, assert multiple claims, including claims for negligence of the company, not just claims for theft. See comment below re: exclusions. Usually if you want an insurer to step in, the fastest way to do that is with allegations of negligence, there are too many ways for them to avoid paying otherwise.

        • Anon

          Differen Anon. Even though, maybe also make a claim on your insurance as well just in case. Some insurance policies have exclusions for intentional acts of the insured and its employees – so theft could be excluded under the company’s policy. Though I would hope in that line of business they would have an endorsement specifically covering theft/crime.

          • Anon

            Yes, I am hoping the same of your last sentence. Also, I have filed a police report. Thank you!

    • Anon

      I had a similar experience. The cleaning company never provided the information I asked. When I posted my experience on Yelp, the business owner threatened me with lawsuit and made my address public. That business was removed from Yelp.

  7. Ribena

    There’s an interesting piece on the NY Times homepage today about Prince Philip having ‘navigated the most challenging of corporate dress codes’. I think the readers here might enjoy!

    • Anon

      I can’t pull up the article, but I was wondering about this while fetching lunch. His choices are: suit, military uniform, kilt, hunting garb. I think I could do that.

      What I might struggle with: thing signifying that you are 1) a member of a royal family exiled from that country (perhaps planning a return / insurgency), 2) you are a member of a different royal family (Denmark), 3) you are also a descendant of Queen Victoria and perhaps will usurp you wife’s throne? Like GOT symbols? But I don’t think that he actually ran into that.

      Unlike his wife, he is never too pregnant, clothes are never too sheer, etc., etc. But he is sort of a model for spouses of strong and powerful women, no? [In some bad ways, yes, but not so going-off-the-rails-publicly the way people do now.]

    • Vicky Austin

      I did enjoy the piece, but I will forever believe that the royal women have the most challenging of corporate dress codes (which is an excellent phrase). Women have the more challenging corporate dress code after all; that didn’t suddenly flip when it came to the Queen and PP. Men wear a variation on the same theme for all ages, contexts, roles, and weather. That is hardly challenging.

  8. HW

    Does anyone have a Rothys code to share? Also, I have the flat and plan to order the point. Should I go up 1/2 a size? Thanks!

  9. anon

    I had the best weekend I’ve had in some time. Thanks to all of you who have offered the advice that to get the most out of our downtime, we need to actually plan ways to be out of the house and make it feel different from the ordinary. I also loaded up my Kindle with light, fluffy reads that I can turn to instead of scrolling through my phone when I need downtime/just to zone out for a while.

    • Ribena

      Me too! I walked to the BEACH and got a fancy bagel and a boujie hot chocolate and sat outside on the prom to enjoy them!

      • PolyD

        Not the OP, but I and many of my friends have enjoyed Jenny Colgan’s books. Fluffy romances but not overly romantic, and there’s usually a subplot about a bakery or cafe or bookstore to keep things fun.

      • anon

        OP here. Jenny Colgan is good, as another poster mentioned. I have been binging Elin Hildebrand, as I like the beachy setting. Some of the characters are so-so but there’s enough intrigue to keep me pushing through.

  10. Anonymous

    Reposting again since there were no responses to my weekend post. Anyone have experience with Slowline Bags? The price point is pretty good. Worried about quality and customer service though.

    • Cat

      Never heard of them but looked them up. I share your concerns about quality and customer service based on the product images and the webs-te copy, which doesn’t appear to have been proofed very well.

      And charging for return shipping when the cost and procedure aren’t clearly outlined? Hard pass.

  11. AIMS

    Why can’t this dress be wool?
    I have a fancy tailor shop in my neighborhood that does custom men’s shirts and suits and I have considered just going to them to make me something like this in 5 different colors with a matching jacket. No idea how much it would cost though and would probably want to lose the 10 lbs. I gained sitting at home this past year first….

    • Anon

      More than 30% of Americans react to wool. For some it is a true allergy and for others it is more of a skin sensitivity. Maybe designers are just cheap but I also think they are trying to provide fabrics that look professional but are less likely to cause skin reactions.

      • anon

        This. I despise wearing wool. I am not allergic, but my skin is sensitive and wearing it makes my skin crawl. I am all about other fabrics that look dressy.

        • Anonymous

          I am sensitive to wool, but I prefer lined wool dresses and suiting to synthetics.

    • Anon

      I love fine wool. It drapes well, lasts a long time, always looks crisp. Why is it so difficult to find in women’s clothes yet so easy in men’s?

  12. MS in Data Science?

    Looking for advice: Is MS in Data Science something that would be a viable path to being in data science in big tech? UVA has come up with a MBA/MSDS joint degree offering that looks quite interesting.

    TLDR:
    I’m 35 this year — is it too late to switch over data science from biglaw? Am I too old for the industry? Do I need a Statistics master’s degree? Am I going into this with too rosy a view of the data science work? If I want to pursue this, do I go for the MBA/MSDS at UVA or try to go for a MS in Statistics? Are these all unrealistic for someone from a humanities major? I may be able to get a scholarship for the MBA portion if I go for UVA (based on some advice I got from previous years’ MBA and my GMAT/GPA scale, although I’m aware scholarships are based on a lot more stuff). I’ve saved around $600k in Biglaw (took that full ride for law school) and can afford to pay for a master’s degree for a couple of years if the payoff would be worth it.

    Background:
    I’m currently a M&A senior associate in Biglaw. I majored history and political science major in undergrad despite my better instincts — but I’ve always been more mathematically inclined, and have never really enjoyed reading vast amounts of anything (except Corporette comment sections). I really do not see myself doing this for the next 30 years and would like to make a career change.

    Seriously, any time I see a text longer than 10 pages, my eyes gloss over the words over and over without registering the meaning in my brain, unless I plot them out with flow charts. I managed to get through high school, undergrad and T6 law school this way, and still got good grades, but it was NOT a walk in the park. I thought the work would grow on me, but it has not, and I find that I can’t really focus on reading for the task at hand, even though I’m super busy and churning stuff out (to the point that I’ve actually suspected ADHD).

    I enjoy the presentation and people interaction parts, just not the piles and piles of paper and agreements piling up in my office. It’s not just the drafting — I don’t retain information well when it’s in a written-out format, which you can imagine does not go over well for my day-to-day tasks. I also enjoy tweaking the working process and streamlining communications etc, just not actually doing them. I feel really stuck, and have been feeling this way for awhile. I had tried out in-house and government in my previous life, but neither of those were very good fits – in all three jobs I was mostly bored out of my mind unless I was actively negotiating / analyzing data and investigating someone, or learning an entirely new deal structure (rare occurrences).

    I’ve been working my way through the Designing Your Life book, and it seems data science could be a good fit. I had no interest in econ and finance as an undergrad, and hadn’t done any proper coursework in math / statistics. I have started a Micromaster’s in Statistics from edX MIT this year and am enjoying it but doesn’t look like it would qualify me to do a master’s program in top schools.

    I’ve been digging through Re ddi t to get a sense of things but it seemed the boards there skew a bit young. Any advice /recommendations / reality checks would be very much appreciated!

    • Anonymous

      There are two aspects to data science–data management and analysis. You don’t currently have the background for either. Take at least one programming course, statistics/econometrics at least through multiple linear regression and models for binary outcomes, at least one calculus course, and linear algebra. Real, for-credit courses from an accredited academic institution, not edX. That will give you a better idea of whether data science is for you.

    • Anon

      Kindly, I don’t think more school is the answer. The kind of law you’re practicing is terrible. Also a lawyer and I hate reading that much dense boring stuff too. But I only had to do that at a law firm. At 35, you’re close to your peak earning years and I’d stick with law. But I’d switch to in-house and from there a lot of people are successful at switching over to the business side (no extra degrees needed). You might surprise yourself with how much you like it (it’s a completely different job from law firm lawyer) and you’ll have other off roads.

      • Curious

        I was just thinking this — at Amazon, you could transition to in house and then perhaps consider a data adjacent product role. To the best of my understanding product pays better than analytics at the same level unless you’re decent at coding, so a data adjacent role might be a better investment.

      • Curious

        Ugh in mod.
        I was just thinking this — at Amazon, you could come in as in house and then perhaps consider a data adjacent product role. To the best of my understanding product pays better than analytics at the same level unless you’re decent at coding, so a data adjacent role might be a better investment.

      • Anon

        Not a lawyer or a data scientist, but a professor in a slightly related field, and I’d be careful about going back to school for this. It seems like every school is creating new masters programs like this because they’re huge cash cows. They may or may not really teach you anything or get you a good job, so I’d look into student placements carefully, as well as the depth of experience in the department. I’d be more inclined to recommend looking for a different law or law adjacent job, taking advantage of education and experience you have in a way that’s more satisfying.

      • Anon

        I’ll also add that hard skills are only needed to a point in your career, and you don’t maximize your earning potential by acquiring them and starting over to move up the hard skill chain. You’re better off continuing up the path you’ve started – at some point your hard skills will not be what you bring to the table.

    • Anonymous

      What do you want to do? My husband has an MBA and an MS in something like data science- i honestly forget was it is but it was a joint program offered by BU in the early aughts but was a lot more about XLS and SQL theory (which, honestly, is data science). He is now an SVP at a tech company. He has a VP of BI reporting into him with a team of analysts and he also has a VP of client support. He didn’t need the degree, but I think the course work was really interesting- it’s like how to apply critical thinking about data to businesses.

      Depending on what you want to do I would focus a lot more on analytics and data/SQL, reporting, etc. than on statistics. Certainly opportunities existing to get into statistics, but in his firm, nobody is asking for the statistical significant of things. They want to see fancy reports and dashboards that are accurate and timely utilizing data that is stored in a million different places with a ton of different crosswalks/meanings all over the company. I just asked him (thanks, WFH) and “the only time statistics come into play is ‘the likelihood I will ever be asked to report on this data and therefore need it accessible.'”

      • AnonATL

        Agree with all this. I’m in the lighter end of data science (it’s such a big umbrella term for all sorts of stuff). People value some coding (sql, python,r, etc), pretty visualizations, and a brain that is capable of thinking about data. Learning coding languages isn’t that hard. I Google like half of it. The analytical number thinking is something you either have/enjoy or you don’t. It’s hard to learn.
        I’m a little younger than you, and there are plenty of people in my line of work over 35. Have you considered some type of consulting work? You might be able to blend your legal experience and data analysis interests.

    • Clara

      It’s not an unrealistic plan. I’m a bit younger than you but I majored in econ in college, worked for a bit, and then got a Masters in data science. My classmates were in their mid-20s to early-30s, and they’re all working as data scientists or data engineers now, at companies you’ve heard of. So it definitely could work out that way.

      It does sound like you like data, and but please keep in mind that data scientist jobs tend to actually not be very people interaction heavy, unless you specifically look for roles and companies where that will happen.

  13. Curious

    Hey! I wanted to report back. A few weeks ago I was asking for how to get motivated to get up in the morning and mentioned I was maybe depressed and definitely pregnant. Many of you let me know that pregnancy is just tiring.

    Guess what! We did the Gottman parenting class this weekend, and the sense of depression was gone by the second day. Turns out I just really needed to get some time to talk about all the changes coming up, and we hadn’t been prioritizing those conversations because of my partner’s stress at work. We have a plan for those conversations going forward. I feel so good.

    So here’s to standing up for your needs and how gloriously fulfilling it is to have them met :)

    And love to those reading who would love to be pregnant and struggling because it would mean the IVF/IUI worked.

    • Anon

      This is awesome! Congrats!

      -Signed, person who is 14 weeks pregnant and BEAT, and probably just needs to sleep more but regardless needs to prioritize some rest and downtime

    • Senior Attorney

      Hooray!

      Funny story: Dr. Gottman was doing all these marriage studies, and then he married his wife, who was also a psychologist, and she looked at the data and said “oh my gosh these people are really hurting — we should help them!” And he’s all, “Oh, that never occurred to me. But yeah, I guess it might not be a bad idea.” And thus were born the Gottman workshops. (I’m paraphrasing but I know I heard this story somewhere at a psychology conference one time…)

  14. anon

    For those of you who are going into the office — what are your best tips for transitioning from remote work to in-person work? I still don’t have an exact date, but it’ll happen for me sometime this summer. I’m partially excited, and partly dreading it. I think it’s going to take a while to acclimate to Packing All the Things, wearing nicer clothing, and being away from home for 9+ hours a day. I definitely have found downsides to WFH, but at this point, I’m used to it and have a good routine going.

    • Anon

      I’ve been back in the office full time since last May – yes, last May. I work in oil & gas and we make most of our money by people driving and flying, so our CEO was anxious to get us all back. All I can say is that you’ll get used to it. Hopefully you can start to return to the office gradually. Some things will definitely not go back to the way they were. I was only home for about 2.5 months, but I started to pack my lunch everyday because our cafeteria only offered limited items and most places around my office only offered take-out. I really like the time it saved me not leaving for lunch and also the expense.

    • Love to cook

      I used the transition back to try to break some bad habits I had built pre-COVID. For example, I’m actually trying to take lunch, and not just work through it. I may still eat at my desk (our cafeteria is closed), but now I have the monitor off and am doing “light” things on my phone, like reading Corporette or a novel. I actively seek to Not Work for at least 20-30 minutes. DH is doing even better -he’s going on a 20 minute walk at lunch every day now. Packing lunch again is a pain, but I’m packing healthier lunches too, so still saving the costs and the calories. And not snacking at work other than what I bring in, which has been good for me in the fitting-into-pants sense.

    • BeenThatGuy

      Getting out of the house was pretty hard for me in the beginning. I try to always have my outfit preplanned/ironed. My company provides lunches for us, otherwise I’d prep that the night before. I have my laptop and purse right by the front door, ready to go, along with my mask and shoes. If your building requires a COVID questionnaire before entering the building, might as well do that while you’re eating breakfast or having coffee, instead of standing in the lobby.

    • Betsy

      It’s too easy to get into the habit of giving yourself treats as a reward for leaving the house! I did that the first week I was back and now it’s 3 weeks later and I’ve developed a daily latte habit. So maybe don’t do that. Also, don’t be surprised if your first week back is exhausting – this is a big change. Finally, consider whether you need new bras or other clothes – none of my old bras fit anymore (or maybe they never did and I was just so used to uncomfortable bras that I didn’t notice?) and I immediately bought some non-underwire ones. Going back to underwires felt awful after a year of wearing them only sporadically.

  15. Anon

    For dog owners that use “pee pads,” do you change them as soon as you see pee/poop on them or are you supposed to wait for a certain level of saturation like with the Litter Breeze system for cats?

    I’m asking because my neighbor (that I barely know) was in a bad car accident and I find myself suddenly watching his two elderly dogs for him while he is hospitalized. I am able to text with him but I’m trying to not ask too many questions because in addition to just having surgery for a majorly broken leg, he also has a head injury and probably shouldn’t be on his phone much. So, I’m sending a few pics each time I see the dogs but only asking questions if they are really important.

    Here, worst case is I use too many pee pads and buy a replacement pack for him before he comes home. I’m tossing them and replacing them each time I find anything on them. But, if I knew I was using them wrong, I’d leave them a little longer rather than tossing at first pee.

    Thanks!

    • Cat

      FWIW, I also dog-sat for neighbors that had a pee pad, and was advised to change it once a day. They did #2 outside.

    • Anon

      My friends use pee pads for their two and they pick the poop up off of the pad in doggie poop bags and toss it immediately, but don’t change it every time there is pee.

    • Anonymous

      we use pee pads for our pup! We pick up #2 off the pad right away and dispose of it. Other than that we change the pads 1x per day unless it’s super saturated or gross before that time (unusual—usually 1x per day is perfectly fine). If the pads are good they shouldn’t smell or anything.

  16. Anonymous

    Eloquent ladies: I have a neighbor who is 100 years old. Her husband is 99 and past away on Friday. I didn’t really know them well, but our town held a 100th b’day “party” (virtual & drive by parade) for her over the summer that we attended since it was on my street. I would like to send a little note, along with a sweet picture I have of she and her husband from the party. I really don’t know the family well at all. She (BLESS HER HEART) checks her email all the time according to my other neighbor, so I was planning to send an email with the photo.

    What do I say since I literally met this woman once? Death is death, but it’s different when you are 99 vs when you are younger, right (see: Prince Philip). I found out because one of our neighbors was kind enough to share the death announcement with our neighborhood listserv.

    • Vicky Austin

      I don’t think you say anything differently. Just because he was 99 doesn’t mean she wasn’t sad to lose him. I’d just introduce yourself as “Anonymous, one of your neighbors,” mention which neighbor shared the news with you, and say you thought she might like to have the photo.

    • Anonymous

      “Dear ___, I was so sorry to hear that ____ died. I didn’t know him well, but I’ve heard such great things about him from our neighbors and it was wonderful to meet you both at the party last summer. I’m so sorry for your loss. I wanted to enclose this picture I took of both of you and let you know that you are in my thoughts. I’d love to drop by with a casserole later, which I’ll leave on your back porch…”

      That’s what I would do.

    • Senior Attorney

      When my father in law died at age 95 some years ago, somebody sent me a card that said “it’s always too soon to say goodbye to someone you love.” That really stuck with me and I’ve since repeated it to others who’ve lost loved ones.

      • Anon

        I have seen you write this here, and it provided me with a lot of comfort when I was navigating grief associated with losing my 90+ old grandparents and people would imply that it wasn’t really that sad that they had passed because they lived long lives. While I was certainly mindful of that and grateful for all the time I got with them, it didn’t make me miss them any less. So, I thank you for those words.

        • Senior Attorney

          Aw, you’re welcome!

          And there’s another lesson to this story, too: The person who gave me that card was a very casual work acquaintance. And yet he really helped me, and by extension you and maybe other people who’ve read my posts about it. I always think of that when I wonder if I’m close enough to reach out…

      • Anonymous

        I like this as well, especially in this context. I always cringe when people say “well he lived a long time” and “everyone has to die sometime.” That’s not the way to offer sympathy to someone who just lost their partner of that many years.

      • Anonymous

        OP here- -thank you! I love this. This sentiment was really what I meant by it being a bit different at 99– but exactly this. It’s always too soon.

    • Anonymous

      In addition to condolences you could say “I enjoyed your drive by party and learning your story. Sorry I won’t be able to get to know him better.”

    • Anon

      My father passed away recently at 97. It wasn’t a tragedy, but still feels like a very big loss. I appreciated hearing from my neighbors, even those who I don’t know well, who texted me to extend condolences.

  17. Anon

    Does anyone have a good alarm watch that isn’t an apple watch (like an old school Timex alarm watch, which they don’t seem to make anymore (or I haven’t been able to find))? I have kids who I don’t want to give an iPhone for 24/7, but they need to tell time and sometimes use an alarm (time to get up now that they are back in school). I wouldn’t mind one myself, as my phone battery is iffy, especially in cold weather (we also camp a lot).

    • GCA

      Is a digital watch ok? Timex definitely still makes them. Over the years I’ve used several Timex women’s Ironman watches for running, especially for interval workouts at a track, and they have an alarm function for sure. I have a small frame and the women’s model is the right size on my wrist. It’ll work for a tween or teen.

    • Anon

      Before I had my first cell phone, I had a regular watch – nothing high end, I’m pretty sure I got it at Kohl’s, but it did the job. For getting up, I had an alarm clock radio. Nowadays I actually use my Fitbit to tell time and wake up; I know there’s one for kids, maybe that syncs with the parents’ phone so the kid doesn’t need their own?

    • Anonymous

      My daughter has a kids timex. Google, there are a ton. I wish it wasn’t digital, but oh well.

    • Senior Attorney

      I googled “wristwatch for kids with alarm” and got a bunch of hits.

      I also think you would be doing them a favor to make them learn to tell time on analog clocks, but maybe that’s just me.

      • Anon

        They can tell the time, but no one has clocks anymore — adults rely on phones and they sometimes go over to microwaves or stoves to see if there is a clock there. “Be home by 5” is hard when they are old enough to roam alone but even though they can tell time there is no time to tell :( So, watch.

        • Senior Attorney

          Good on the time telling! Looks like there are a lot of online options for wristwatches!

        • Anon

          I have an alarm clock. Am I old? It’s one of those Philips wake up lights.

        • Anonymous

          Huh? Most people still have clocks. I don’t know that I’ve ever been in a home or office that doesn’t have at least one.

    • Anonymoose

      Casio makes watches that satisfy your criteria if you do not mind the chunky vibe. I can verify durability; my Casio is over 25 years old and going strong.

      I confess to a serious hankering for the Baby G in leopard.

      • GCA

        Ah, the Baby-Gs! My favorite part of the 90s fashion revival! They can come back any time.

  18. Anon

    I am not a kid or on TikTok, so I missed the fun sea shanties that were trending over the winter. But I found them yesterday and OMG I am so happy to be hearing music again (even if on my screen vs live).

  19. Picasso

    Anyone want to help me choose a paint color? Have two rooms with different light. I’m trying to decide between BM White Dove, BM Swiss Coffee, BM Capitol White. Any thoughts? I’m looking for a warm white for living and dining rooms (matte for walls + same color in semi-gloss for trim). (I have painted the squares on the wall, and the floors are darker wood/honey color).

    • Anon

      So not the colors you’re looking at (I find Swiss Coffee too tan, and the others you’re looking at too white for your goal), but I recommend Najavo White on walls and Simply White on trim – both BM. That is the perfect combo of warm white and a nice pop of contrast that looks clean and elegant. I’ve done it in a number of homes (I do paint consulting for friends as I have a “good eye” for color) and it always looks great.

    • anon

      I used BM White dove for a south-facing room in nyc, where our light can be silvery or golden depending on time of year and whether it’s rainy/overcast or sunny. I did the matte for walls and semi-gloss for trim. our floors were oak so i wanted something warmer to go with the warmth in the wood. I liked it because even though it is a warm white, it doesn’t look like a cream.

    • CinNJ

      I can second Navajo white with a white semigloss trim, I have it in my home and love it. H owever, it definitely has yellow undertones so if that isn’t what you are going for I would avoid it.

  20. Anonymous

    I’ve gained some weight during the pandemic and am itching to get back to the gym. I’ve taken COVID precautions really seriously this whole time, and have been working out from home but it’s not the same. Most gyms in my area require masks before/after class but not during, which honestly makes no sense to me. It feels a little too soon to go back to the gym for my personal comfort level but my office is also starting to talk about bringing us back and I am so uncomfortable in my body right now and I know going back to the gym would help me feel better. Ugh. I’m having a hard time balancing this.

    • Anonymous

      No, don’t go back to the gym – find alternatives. It truly is not at all safe and I would wager a guess that it’s the least safe activity you can do (and it’s also completely avoidable). How about bootcamp classes in the park? Couch to 5K plan? Virtual challenge with your best friends (this is what I do and we’ve stuck to a Pilates challenge for nearly 10 weeks now)? Outdoor dance class? There are places near me that are doing outdoor spin class. Don’t give up here – there are tons of great alternatives you can try.

    • Anonymous

      Have you been vaccinated? If not nothing to balance. Run outside and do strength at home

    • Anon

      If it makes you feel any better, I’m in the same boat. My area of the country is doing pretty well with Covid rates and I still wouldn’t step foot in a gym right now. It’s just not worth the risk when we’re so close to it being a lot safer, but aren’t there yet.

      I got an Apple Watch and have been enjoying Apple Fitness Plus dance and HIIT videos. They’re like classes, but without having to go anywhere.

    • IL

      Maybe I’m oversimplifying this, but find the gym/activity that works for you. If you want more precautions, there are places that offer that.

      I’ve restarted going to barre at one of the national chains where masks are on 100% of the time, we use approx. 8 disinfecting wipes over the course of the hour, they spray down the whole area with disinfectant between classes, and the class is limited in size. Judging by the pre-class conversations on Saturday, all instructors at this location are fully vaccinated and one of my three classmates was as well. It’s far safer than the grocery store.

      If barre isn’t your thing, I know that outdoor yoga is starting up basically everywhere. Point being – you just need one activity that is safe enough for you! You will feel better once you start – I was nervous too.

      • anonshmanon

        I don’t think that it’s “far safer” than the grocery store. You are exposed to the classmates for much longer than strangers in a grocery store, and you are all breathing heavily. The fraction of vaccinated people is generally going up, which should also be true for the grocery store.
        I do agree that 100% masking, spacing people out (and ideally opening the windows), is as safe as you can make an indoor gym. I also agree that the risk/reward calculus is highly personal.

      • Anonymous

        Beware of the performative disinfectant wipe displays, but as long as masks are on the whole time and there is good ventilation, that’s as good as it can get.

    • Anon

      Do you have any pilates reformer classes nearby? I haven’t gone back but my old one is supposedly social distancing and wearing masks the whole time, and they spray/wipe everything with disinfectant. Also a lot of outdoor classes are popping up again here now that it’s spring.

    • Anonymous

      So… several gyms in my area are open, but limited capacity, and we wear masks from before we step into the lobby all the way through the entire class to when we leave the lobby and head to the parking lot. I vote for maybe try 1 class and wear your mask the entire time. If it ends up feeling uncomfortable, you can always leave! The other option is find some outdoor classes or do outdoor activities.

    • anon

      Really depends on whether you’ve been fully vaccinated or not. I would not go before vaccination, but I would go after (assuming everyone in my household was also vaccinated).

    • Anonymous

      If outdoor classes are not of interest, are there gyms with safer rules? Ours has reopened and is literally no more than six people at a time in the entire gym (usually only three actually there) and masks are required. I don’t imagine that’s a long term sustainable business model but it does feel safe .

    • Annony

      I really miss my OTF class and am very sad about how much my fitness level has declined this last year. I am hiking a lot, and working out at home with my Mirror, but it’s just not the same. I don’t think I’ll go back to indoor classes, even once I’m vaccinated, for quite a bit … it just doesn’t seem like the best idea, given the level of exertion and small space. But several locations near me are doing outdoor classes, which I think I’ll do perhaps 1 or 2x a week, once I’m vaccinated.

  21. Surprise Bill

    A neighbor was playing at our house over the weekend and my son accidentally hit her in the head with a golf club. She went to the hospital and got stitches – should I be offering to pay for her medical costs? My husband was there and is being less than helpful about exactly what happened and he seems to feel like it’s just one of those childhood things that happens and nobody is really at fault.

    I know the other mom had the girl stitched up by a local plastic surgeon (I know a friend who had to take her teenage daughter to him for stitches from a sports accident and the out of pocket bill was almost 10k). Is this something my homeowners insurance would cover since it happened at our house? I don’t want to be a jerk but paying that out of pocket for a 5 year olds accident is a lot to stomach.

    • Anonymous

      I would not offer. Their insurance should cover it. And your husband shouldn’t be so blasé about it

      • Been there, done that

        A plastic surgeon will almost never be covered by health insurance. A year ago my toddler son had a deep cut that crossed into his lip, which will typically leave a noticeable scar without a skilled plastic surgeon doing the stitching, and our out of pocket bill was $5k, even with a great health insurance policy. My dad has a scar on his face that he’s always been self conscious about, so it was a nobrainer for me to have plastics do it and it did heal beautifully. But without that person experience, I would have had some sticker shock at the price and would have maybe made a different decision.

        • Anon

          My plastic surgery for a hand injury was covered. I think it was out of network rates, but that was still 70%.

        • Anon

          This is not necessarily true. My insurance company covered a plastic surgeon to repair my face after a serious laceration from an auto accident (long story). Many policies differentiate between plastic surgery to repair an injury vs. plastic surgery for purely cosmetic reasons.

    • Anon

      I think that you should offer to pay but also that if it’s really $10k that’s insane.

    • Anon

      I think you call your homeowners insurance and see what they want you to do. Their health insurance may feel that you / your insurer should be who pays, not them. I’d let the companies work it out and try to personally stay out of it. And that your husband won’t talk is . . . not good.

      • BeenThatGuy

        This is one of the reasons I keep a modest umbrella policy. Accidents happen. Bad stuff happens; might as well be prepared.

    • Anon

      As a matter of manners, I’d ask about the child and if there’s anything I can do.

      As a matter of insurance, I’d be looking at my policy to see if I need to notify my homeowners’ insurance. If I had the injured child, my health insurance would probably be asking me about where the incident happened to see if they could subrogate against another insurance company. Even if I didn’t think the other family would pursue me, I wouldn’t want to mess up my own coverage by failing to give timely notice to my insurance in case of subrogation.

    • Anon

      Your child did this, neither side is disputing that fact, so you are responsible. I don’t love that you’re trying to wiggle out of it. It’s ugly and you should do better.

      • Anon

        +1. You and your husband need to have a serious discussion with your son about the consequences of his action, even if it was unintentional. Your child will learn from your actions, not your words. If you don’t offer to pay, don’t be surprised if your son grow up to be a selfish, irresponsible, and spoiled adult.

    • Anon

      You likely have med-pay on your policy (though I recognize this can be state dependent). Here, a med-pay claim does not count as a liability claim for rates purposes. So, you could use your med-pay to pay their out of pocket bills. However, as others said, their health insurance may want to subrogate if they get any money. Your med-pay may be enough to cover both.

      BTW, the exact same thing happened to me as a kid but it was with a wooden baseball bat instead of a golf club. My family had a plastic surgeon stitch me up too. I think it was covered by insurance but I don’t know for certain. I know my dad was always insulted that my neighbor’s first call was to his insurance company/lawyer. Now that I am a lawyer, I understand why. (I had run home, leaving a nice bloody trail. I ran into my house looking like I had been hit by a car, according to my mom.)

    • Seventh Sister

      I’d definitely be asking about the child and if there is anything I can do. And if they don’t want to talk to me, I’d be understanding and keep my distance until they wanted to get back in touch (if they even want to reconnect).

      I definitely would notify my insurance carrier, but I wouldn’t necessarily put in a claim at this point.

      Honestly, I wouldn’t be inclined to go after a friend to make them pay for my kid’s medical bills. If it was a lot of money out of pocket, then maybe, but crap happens and kids have accidents.

  22. Anonymous

    Does anyone have the Cuyana triple zipper weekender in the canvas (not leather) and have thoughts? I know people like the Lo and Sons bag, but I just really do not like the way those bags look. TIA!

    • Cat

      I read it over the weekend and think the title a bit click-baity. Like, one of the styles mentioned is those $150 purse straps that were a total fad 2 years ago. And another is eco-friendly sneakers. I reacted with a roll of the eyes and a “whatever.”

      • anne-on

        I have to laugh because those ‘$150 purse straps’ are really a knock off of the ($1k and up) Hermes purse straps…which is eye-wateringly expensive for a piece of canvas…

        • Anon

          And they all remind me of hippie-esque guitar straps rom the ‘70s, to my immense amusement.

    • Aunt Jamesina

      Their example of the “demurely bucolic dress” that they call outdated is a huge trend right now (nap dresses, etc.), and then the dress they show as an example of what to wear instead looks almost identical to a dress I had around 2009, just with a different floral print. I don’t disagree with most of their other examples, but it does seem very click baity.

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