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Tuesday’s TPS Report: Lydia Sheath Dress

Tory Burch Lydia Sheath Dress | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. This dress looks amazing — I'm kind of surprised to find we haven't posted about it before (and that we can't find it at other shops). Love the steep V-neck, the elbow-length sleeves, the general work-appropriate length — fabulous. It is $350 full price, but Bloomie's has it on sale through 10/4, so it's down to $262. It's available in sizes 2-14, in black and red. Tory Burch Lydia Sheath Dress A lower-priced option is here; here is that same dress in plus sizes. Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-4)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

184 Comments

  1. Recommendations of place to get hair cut and single-color-dyed in DC for under $150? I want someone who knows how to cut and shape hair – so I can just go in and say “cut off three inches” and they’ll know how to do that in a way that works with my hair. And I need someone who can make an appointment with like two weeks notice, not two months. TY!

    1. I’ve had good luck with the lower level stylists at Bang. They were fast and usually do a single process plus a trim for around $120. I’ve only used the Verizon center location but have heard they’re pretty consistent at their other locations.

      1. +1, though mine was around $150. I’ve had cuts from Leanne and Sue, and both were good.

    2. I go to Amanda at Glynn Jones Salon in Dupont. She does a great job with exactly this, for $140.
      .
      I used to to go Cameron at Bang on U Street. He did a good job in general, but I quit him when he changed his hours to only M-F 9-5.

    3. I made an appointment at immortal beloved with a junior stylist with less than a week’s notice. Have had several friends be really happy with that option. They do not have the same person do cut and color there (some new trend?), though. The owner charges $300 for a haircut but mine will be $45. YMMV.

      I was previously a client at Frizzles in Old Town, which should fall in your price range as well

      1. Loved Immortal Beloved when I lived in DC. I saw Mimi (not sure if she is still there) for cut only.

    4. I’ve had good luck with the Bubbles in Pentagon City — yep, the mall. I don’t color, but my stylist is good with me saying two inches off.

      1. If you are willing to leave the District, I recently paid $120 for cut and color at PR at Partners in Old Town.

    5. I go to Carissa at PR at Partners Metro Center, but she’ll likely hand you off to her assistant for the actual color application and blow dry. My bill is around your budget ($140?) before tip. Not sure whether she could fit you in within 2 weeks since I typically schedule my next appointment when I leave my last one, but I haven’t had any issues scheduling 4-5 weeks out.

  2. I think that this is from last winter. I love that it has wool in it and that it is lined. I was eyeing a similar dress with long sleeves but it sold out in my size. I’d love to hear how TB stuff fits (I have just gotten shoes there before, and have been pleased with the Amy pump). I would like to try for a long-sleeved dress again this winter when the true cold weather pieces start coming out.

  3. Are Hunter boots really worth it? I have not bought a pair of wellies before, so this will be a first purchase. I’d love to not have to ever buy another pair. Other suggestions?

    1. I love them, though I usually pair them with a good liner. I wear them in the winter as snow boots too with snap on ice cleats for long walks with the pup.

    2. I have LL Bean rain boots and love them – seem just as good as Hunters without the steep price tag.

      1. I got the LL Bean boots because Hunters don’t come in half sizes. I’m very happy with the Bean boots, and they were half the price.

    3. I’d suggest you get a pair of Bean Boots first, since they’re more versatile and still 100% waterproof. Another poster mentioned Bean rain boots–be warned, they’re excellent quality but run HUGE through the calf. Hunter runs very narrow through the calf, so it just depends on what would be better for your legs.

      1. Agreed, but as a side note, I like that too – you can put your pants inside with no trouble (even if not skinnies) and also the boot liner.

      2. I’ve also had my eyes on bean boots, and due to our varied weather, both could be useful/well-worth-it. There are plenty of days here when it’s not pouring rain (like this morning, when it was raining so hard that the splashing off the pavement got my shins wet) but is still wet/dreary and a full rain boot isn’t necessary.

        Thanks for the input.

        Has anyone had luck with going with a kids’ hunter instead of adult? I’m on the cusp–I’m only 5’2″, but with long legs (I’m a tossup between petite & regular pants), so I’m not too worried about the shaft of the grownup being too tall, and I wear a women’s 5 – 5.5 – 6, or 36, or kids’ 3/4/5 depending.

        1. The blogger at Extra Petite did a post comparing the fit of the kid’s boot to the adult one. She is quite detailed with her pictures and descriptions, so you might want to check it out.

        2. I’m 5’2″, and I have a kid’s hunter boot! But if you have long legs and the shaft isn’t too tall for you, I would go with the adult size. The shorter height feels a little less elegant to me, plus there are reflective patches on the back of the kid’s boot.

      1. I also dislike Hunters. The boot bottom is really stiff/does not flex, and I found that really didn’t mesh well with my walking style. Also, they are good for rain, but pretty slippery in “wintry mix” or iced sidewalks. My feet, which are not normally very sweaty, also sweat like the dickens in them.

        I much profer my Sorel Joan of Arctics (they have a furry liner built in) for when it’s really cold, and for more walking, I wear Vasque Sundowner hiking boots, which are really classic (very similar to the boots on the Wild movie poster–brown leather, big lug sole). The Vasque boots are absolutely bombproof and have a lifetime guarantee. And they are so comfortable.

    5. I think they’re worth it. I bought a pair from Target that didn’t last a full winter. Then I bought a pair of Hunters and they’ve lasted me 5 years now.

    6. Yes, so much more comforatble than cheaper versions. You can buy them cheaper at Costco and Nordstrom Rack.

  4. Has anyone read any great self-help books lately that they’d like to recommend? I prefer those that are based in scientific studies/data, and those that are applicable to career growth/development. It doesn’t have to be all about career stuff, but just not something that’s exclusively personal, like building a marriage, parenting, etc.

    1. I’m not sure I’d put these in self-help, but I’ve really gotten a lot from ‘Thinking Fast and Slow’ (tons of data) and ‘Hostage at the Table’ (I can’t remember how much data is in here, but it is workplace/interpersonal communication from a business school professor with a background in hostage negotiations, and had a profound impact on me).

      1. I have Thinking Fast and Slow on my Kindle and haven’t read it yet – thanks for the boost!

        If you haven’t read the Everyday S!xism book I would highly recommend it. Depressing but important.

    3. I just read Codependent No More. Lots of sift through that didn’t really apply to me but there were parts that I could relate to. I took away some tools to help stop my people pleasing ways and how to successfully detach from all types of unfulfilling relationships.

    4. I don’t know if you have kids or not, but I’m working my way through “I Know How She Does It”, and am really enjoying it. It’s geared towards high powered career women who also want to spend time with their kids (but you could just substitute “hobby” or “spouse” or whatever whenever she talks about kids).

      1. I recently read this one as well. It validated (with data) my instinct that I actually spend a good amount of time with my kids, despite working full time.

        1. I read this too. I found parts of it inspiring and parts of it utterly infuriating. But even though I really disagreed with parts of her premise, the book has really stuck with me and made me think a lot about how I use my own time and how I think about my time.

    5. I don’t know that it counts as self help but I loved “Happy Money.” Really made me think about how I spend and it was the push I needed to make plans for a bucket list trip.

    6. Mindset by Carol Dweck
      The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle (if you’re interested in learning new skills)
      Flow by Mihaly Chickzentmihaly
      Brene Brown books in general

      These aren’t technically self help books but they are scientifically based books that have things you can apply in your own life.

    7. I highly recommend Winning from Within by Erica Ariel Fox. It is applicable to professional and personal life and is a really robust model that you can take immediate action on.

      We used it (and actually had Erica and her team visit to facilitate) in a corporate development program this summer. It was a great experience.

  5. My DH need to get some professional advice on money. We have a number of spending goals (student loans; retirement; down payment; college funds) and our income has recently increased quite a bit, and we’re not sure how to allocate our money between our various goals.

    I’m not interested in hiring someone to manage my investments, but just someone to help us with big picture stuff, maybe over an appointment or two.

    Who should we go see? An accountant? A financial planner? Someone at a bank?

    I don’t know where to start!

    2. A certified financial planner can help with this. My husband and I are similarly situated to you, and although I’m sure we could have self-educated, we wanted a professional to give us direction. We found a CFP who charges a flat fee to provide a financial plan + six months of follow up to make sure the plan is working for us. After that, we can work with her on an as needed, hourly fee basis.

        2. Sorry, hit post too soon. The total cost (plan + six months of follow up) will be around $2100, I think.

    3. Another vote for certified financial planner. You want someone you pay hourly versus someone who gets a percentage of your investments. Perhaps post your location or ask around local friends who can recommend someone with experience advising young professionals?

    4. Check if your company has an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) – mine covers counseling sessions, financial planning sessions, and legal sessions. A few sessions of each are free, and you get a discount if you continue on after.

  6. I just started therapy yesterday for anxiety (mostly related to work), and just a general rough patch in life. We spent most of the session just on background and context information, and at the end started talking about goals and outcomes, including the option of medications.

    I know I need a quick-fix for a lot of the work stuff, but I’ve never taken anti-anxiety or depression medication before. I can research the side effects for individual drugs myself, but I’m wondering if anyone has strong pro or con experiences with this, or recommends questions to talk to my therapist about before starting anything?

    1. Many medications cause weight gain or have s e x u a l side effects. Those are 2 things that cause me extreme stress when not going according to plan. It might be something for you to consider discussing before taking a medication. Good luck.

      1. Wanted to add to the s e x u a l side effects comment (a poster below experienced them too). I went on Lexapro for 4 years and later discovered that it (in conjunction with my birth control) caused me to develop a pelvic health problem that had to be treated with physical therapy for almost a year (basically my anxiety relocated). This was expensive to treat, primarily because it took forever to discover the cause. Now off the birth control and the Lexapro, things are better (so its not like it caused a permanent problem).

        That said (and the reason I’m posting) despite the side effect turning into a major (in my world) issue for me, I would not change my decision to go on the medication at all. I think that at that point in my life I needed it to regain balance and perspective. Now, I am much better able to handle everything. It was so helpful to me during those four years and I think it left me in a better place. The only thing I would change is that I wish I had been aware of the potential for the side effect because then I would have spent a lot less time trying to figure out what was wrong when the side effect became an issue.

    2. It’s not too much to say that antidepressants saved my life. They didn’t fix my problems, but they muted my distress enough for me to be able to productively approach them in therapy. I really recommend them, although you’ll have to find one that works for you in terms of side-effects.

      Also, I had CBT for panic and anxiety and it was quasi-miraculous.

      1. +1 to this. Sometimes you have to get your brain back in balance for therapy to make a difference.

        It’s not clear whether your therapist is also a psychiatrist, but if not, I would definitely bring up meds with either your regular physician or find a psychiatrist if you’re interested in exploring that route. Also, I found my own therapist (not an MD) to be more knowledgeable about various anti-depressants than what I could find from reading various internet forums.

    3. So, I know you’re anxious, but it’s okay to just trust the person with years of training and experience a and take what they recommend and she how it goes. Ask about typical side effects, mention for sure any other health issues you have going on, but I would suggest not doing independent research. There’s such a wide variety and range of side effects you really won’t know what to expect, and spending hours on the internet is just going to make you more anxious.

      Lots of readers have posted that they have taken medication for anxiety and depression and it has literally been a life saver. It’s worth a try.

      1. I used to work in pharmaceutical/clinical trial data analysis, so I understand how to actually interpret internet research. I do appreciate the reminder though :)

        I’m a little anec-data to make sure I frame my questions right, because this is a person with years of experience and training *that I just met*, so I want to narrow the focus of the discussion to things that are relevant to me.

        1. I think the anecdata is pretty clear here- you’re getting help for anxiety, you aren’t a doctor, all the research is going to tell you is that sometimes people have some side effects and you can’t really predict it.

    4. I really wouldn’t research side effects on your own. I have anxiety, and when I started my treatment journey, I researched on my own…and my anxiety took over and I was convinced I could be the 1% killed by every treatment.

      Talk to your doctor. Tell her if you have any predispositions (high blood pressure, diabetes, etc). Tell her if you’re scared of any particular side effect. THEN evaluate how you do on treatment. I had to try 2 before I found a fit for me. And keep in mind, it often takes at least 2-4 weeks before they really start to work.

      1. I agree with this completely.

        If you read the side effects list of any drug, it can be terrifying. Put some trust in your doctor, tell them your concerns, and find a treatment together. The combination of medication and counseling/behavioral therapy can be excellent. Remember that it can also take a few weeks on a drug for both the benefit to be seen, and then some side effects will abate. Sometimes you will need to increase the dose of the medication. In general, “start low… go slow” with these meds when you are really worried about side effects.

        Also – some people with anxiety get initially MORE anxious when they are started on the typical SSRI medicine. Again, this is a “side effect” and for most people will abate with time. However, ask the doctor about this. There are ways to treat this to get you through the initial ramp up period.

        Good luck, and congratulations for taking this big step and regaining control of your life.

    5. I didn’t find that anti-anxiety meds did a lot for me, but I’ve been on wellbutrin for about 5 years since my second son was born. I’ve found it to be very valuable in helping me to stay more even-keeled. I did NOT do well with prozac or zoloft. I was trying a combo of prozac and wellbutrin and had a terrible time with serotonin syndrome–it’s a thing, and it’s a big deal. But, my understanding is that it’s totally personal.

    6. I had a 100% positive experience with no side effects the first time, and very minor side effects the second time. Try one and if it doesn’t work for you, try another one.

    7. This may sound off the wall, but you might try eating a little bit of sauerkraut every day. There’s recent research that shows that raw fermented foods (probiotics) can have a positive impact on social anxiety in people (small studies) and animals. Perhaps it has to do with generating serotonin in the gut (the probiotics may be doing that). I started a month ago (severe anxiety/panic attacks/depression) and I’m a little shocked at how it seems to be working. Not on anxiety meds otherwise.

    8. First, congratulations on having the courage to address your anxiety. I was in this very boat not even two months ago, although my issue was depression brought on my personal and professional loss as well as menopausal changes. I went to see a psychologist who had helped a friend, and after 2 visits she suggested I see my GP about an antidepressant. I think you need to trust your therapist to help you decide what is the best course of treatment for you. I have been a strong, do-it-yourself kind of person for so long that when I was struggling and in such a dark place, I kept trying to convince myself that I could figure this out too. But sometimes our bodies need chemical adjustments. That was my case – despite being told it could take weeks to feel any effects, the changes were evident in my thinking in a matter of days. Yes, I had a few side effects (GI upset), but the difference has been so totally worth it I can only urge you to trust your healthcare providers and give antidepressants a try if they suggest them for you. I still have concerns to deal with, but at least now I am getting to a place where I can start to address them, rather than feeling so hopeless and alone.

    9. If you do research on the internet take anything you read with a grain of salt, as drugs effect every person differently and there are some really crazy posts on the internet about these drugs (I was terrified I was going to gain a bunch of weight, have no s*x life, lose my mind, and possibly die after reading online forums). FWIW, I was on Lexapro for 9 months (doctor recommended I try a 9 month regimen) and experienced no side effects after the first 2 weeks. I gained some weight while I was on it (around 10 pounds), but it was also right after my wedding when I was boomeranging after wedding dieting, so I am cautious about blaming the drugs for that. I felt that it helped my anxiety immensely, and continue to see the benefits after being off it for 8 months.

    10. I mentioned this yesterday, but if you’re considering, there’s a genetic test you can take (it’s just a cheek swab and takes a week to process) that will give you a better idea of what meds you’d respond well to. This can cut down on a lot of the “trial and error” of finding a medication that will work for you.

    11. I got a scrip after a traumatic incident for panic attacks. I call it my superhero supply. I rarely use it (a few pills a year), but the power and security that I’ve been given in knowing that I do have something to handle anxiety attacks/panic-filled situations is unbelievable. I highly recommend. (Granted, I’m talking relatively one-off pills along the ativan/xanax side of things, no exp with every day scrips.)

    12. I would beware of potential sexual side effects. Being on an SSRI made me feel like my ladyparts had been anesthetized. It took a good while after going off the medication for sexual function to return. Your mileage may vary on whether that would be a worthwhile trade off for you at this point. It wasn’t for me, and I was very displeased that my doctor never even mentioned it as a risk when prescribing.

      Cognitive behavioural therapy was great though. Even if you do try medication and it helps you, I recommend you keep doing therapy to chip away at the underlying sources of anxiety.

    13. I would talk to your therapist about it. Sometimes therapy can actually be a quicker fix than medication – I have never been on anti-depressant or anti-anxiety meds before, but from friends who have, I understand that it can be a bit of a journey to find the right dose etc. (Unless you’re talking about specific, short term anxiety meds like taking a Xanax before flying.)

      I started therapy last year for anxiety related issues and started to feel better within a couple sessions. Those sessions were difficult and I left them feeling very raw, but it very quickly felt as though a weight had been lifted. It wound up taking only around 10 weekly sessions before we accomplished the goals we had originally set, and now I meet with my therapist monthly for check-in / maintenance. Given that I walked into her office as a ball of anxiety, radiating tension, it was amazing to me how much progress I was able to make in those sessions.

      Obviously everyone is different, so YMMV, but if you’re feeling that you’re really drowning in the anxiety, talk to your therapist about it and maybe suggest meeting more frequently for the first few weeks to see if you can get a quick boost from that.

    14. I have taken Xanax, Ativan, and Busiprone for anxiety with no side effects. I love them all.

      I have taken Prozac, Effexor, and Pristiq for depression. Loved Prozac, loved Pristiq even more, Effexor made me feel like I was going insane (incredible dizziness, nausea, brain fuzz). Pristiq had less of the sexual side effects that Prozac did, but I had so many other issues going on I can’t be sure to fully attribute the lack of sexual desire on the Prozac. As others have similarly said, these drugs saved my life and made it so that I could function on a day-to-day basis. Outside of the Effexor, I gladly dealt with the low-level side effects for the benefits.

    15. When I was going through a period of very disruptive anxiety, I didn’t want to take anti-anxiety medication so my doctor prescribed me low-dosage sleeping pills instead. For me they were the perfect stop-gap measure. I was able to sleep properly (one of my problems was that my mind raced at night preventing me from falling asleep) so I was rested and better able to cope with stresses during the workday. As I progressed in therapy, I learned other coping mechanisms and was able to stop the sleeping pills.

        1. Not Anon for This, but over the years combined with my anxiety meds and depression meds, I have taken Ambien and trazadone. I love Ambien, but I see a doc now who doesn’t like to prescribe habit forming stuff, so the trazadone works fine.

  7. Need recommendations on good, sturdy (and ideally cute) calf length rain boots. I don’t consider myself to have narrow calves per se but I tried some Hunter ones a while ago and they were huge. Any recs?

    1. Aigle runs very narrow in the calf. Also measure your calf circumference- zappos lists that info.

  8. What’s everyone wearing today?

    Here, Chelsea boots, black tights, a navy, blue, red, and white paisley dress (nicer than it sounds, promise – it’s the Animal “Livya” dress), and a red merino cardi.

    1. Total “crap” outfit today. I’m in a gross place with zero transition clothing (everything is either sleeveless or wool sweater), and between sizes. Chocolate brown cords, brown cap-toe chelsea boots, maroon “t-shirt” (nicer than it sounds) with rolled tab sleeves & shirred neckline. I hate my clothes today.

      1. I’m in the same boat. I’m wearing my can’t-be-bothered outfit of black ankle pants, loose black shell, grey boyfriend blazer and black MK Fulton flats. I tried to save the outfit with fuchsia lipstick, but that didn’t work…

    2. lululemon high rise wunder under pants and a singlet, bra straps showing. But I’m not at the office. ;) will be wearing a black ponte dress, black blazer and nude heels for my job interview this afternoon!

    3. Supposed to be hot, humid and overcast in the Boston area today. I’m wearing a navy striped Vince jersey skirt with a navy sleeveless Boden eyelet top and hot pink okabashi flip flops (for plantar fasciitis). I work in Higher Ed in a business casual office.

    4. PJs. Sick day. After four extra hours of sleep I feel like I could probably drag my carcass to the office, but I don’t have anything urgent today and I think I’m just going to not.

    5. Forecast is for 91F here so I’m still all summery: white flared skirt, navy linen sleeveless shirt with white polka dots, coral linen blazer, navy pumps, white handbag.

      1. Reverse twinsies! White linen boxy top, navy pencil skirt, gold shooties. I’m so so so tired of the heat.

        1. I’m matching you! Ivory cowl neck sleeveless blouse, grey cardigan, navy flared skirt and navy and black flats. I have Aikido this afternoon, so no jewelry

    6. Black Zella “move” pants and a black Lululemon top with a built-in bra. Yes, I work from home.

    7. Dark jeans, mint green tank, navy cardigan, tan ankle strap flats (because my knee is bothering me). Seed pearl and blue topaz jewelry.

    8. DVF April dress in a dark puple, with a black and white striped cashmere cardigan and black pumps.

    9. My office is pretty casual (no flip-flops or ripped jeans), so I’m wearing dark blue Paige skinnies, a Jiji t-shirt, a yellow Loft cardigan, and black Cole Haan ballets.

    10. The skirt, boden blouse, boden cardi.

      I feel like I’m from Corporette Central Casting.

    11. Grey with black polka dots wool tulip dress from Boden, black pumps. I love this dress so much that I also purchsaed it in purple.

    12. Everlane “blush” round collar silk top, dove grey high waisted wide(ish) leg trousers made by me, narrow tan belt, american apparel “Bobby” leather lace-ups in tan. stainless steel watch, diamond studs, raw citrine and copper ring.

  9. Has anyone ever just decided to throw out their whole wardrobe and start over? I’ve purchased most of my items because they were on sale, not because I actually liked them, so I have a mismatched wardrobe with a few pieces I actually like. Everything just seems too casual or frumpy. I have dreams of just donating everything and buying new pieces and stepping up my level of dress, but it seems a) wasteful b) impossible and c) I have no idea where to start. How do you find a true style if you’ve never really had one? I see stuff I like, but it’s all very different. Help!

    1. That does seem really really wasteful! Can you start by paring down what you have? Go through and figure out what you are actually wearing now and donate the rest. And then start buying new things. Maybe set a budget and go see a personal shopper at Nordstrom, and then you have a couple great things and your regular blah stuff. And then repeat the process as budget allows. You don’t need a total What Not to Wear transformation to make a real difference.

      1. +1 You must have some decent pieces in your wardrobe that are worth saving. Find them and keep them. Then build up from there. I second the recommendation of Nordstrom personal shopping. Also, look into doing a capsule wardrobe. If you are going to get rid of almost everything, might as well keep it simple going forward.

      2. I know! It feels awful, but I hate how I look every day and then I hate the thought of spending money on new clothes (let alone things that aren’t on sale). I really only have 5-7 things that are actually work appropriate and most of them look pretty beat up at this point. I like the idea of doing a capsule type wardrobe, though not quite sure how to start.

        1. If the problem is the money, look at your budget. See what you can afford. Go from there. Throwing everything out certainly won’t help!

        2. look at Wardrobe oxygen . com. Search for capsule wardrobes. Lots of great options to get you inspired!

      3. I don’t really agree that it’s “wasteful,” particularly if the plan is to donate the un-loved clothes elsewhere. Throwing all the clothes in the trash or setting them on fire or something would be wasteful; donating them to Dress for Success or the Salvation Army or your local thrift store just means the clothes are going from being used by OP to being used by someone else. I’m not really seeing a downside to that, other than the fact that OP will have to shell out for new clothes, but it sounds like she’d be planning to do that anyway.

        OP, a capsule wardrobe for work can actually be pretty simple, if you get away from all of the Pinterest-y, “express your true fashion self!” nonsense and keep it practical. Example of a capsule wardrobe, off the top of my head (assuming a business casual environment, and five working days a week):

        3 pairs neutral dress pants (either black/gray/navy or brown/tan/olive – choose one color palette and stick to it)
        3 neutral pencil skirts (follow same palette as pants)
        1-2 sheath dresses (if you’re into that)
        5-7 toppers (I’d choose a mix of cardigans and blazers, but you can choose all cardigans or all blazers, again, in same color palette)
        6-10 shell tops to go under the toppers (make sure all the shells match all the bottoms)
        1-2 pairs work-appropriate heels/flats in nude-for-you
        1-2 pairs work-appropriate heels/flats in black or brown (depending on your selected color palette)

        Boom. You have a work wardrobe. Also, honestly, if you go very basic (think no patterns, no discernible details) you can get away with half as many items as I’ve listed here. I had some weight gain recently, and I’ve been doing fine at my business-dress office with 3 pencil skirts (gray/navy/beige), 1 pair of black pants, a navy sheath dress, 2 blazers, 4 cardigans (black/white/beige/olive), and about 10 tops (a mix of colors). The key is that everything I own matches everything else, so while I repeat items with a decent amount of frequency, I rarely repeat full outfits.

        1. This is AWESOME! Thank you so much; the Pinterest capsule wardrobe was exactly the problem I was having.

    2. Does it help to think that there’s no pressure for you to “find a true style” unless you are a fashion/ design professional ? Just wearing the stuff you like and looking appropriate when occasion requires works fine for most normal folks (certainly most men anyway).

      If you need help putting together outfits, perhaps a friend/ family member whose look you admire can help ? If you need help with some strategic shopping to fill gaps, perhaps a personal shopper ? I recall the poster called ‘padi’ wrote in detail about a good experience with a Nordstrom shopper.

    3. I would just spend a weekend going through your clothes and donating anything you don’t love. From there, see what you need and have fun shopping, preferable when there are sales! You don’t need to throw everything out, but you should put in the time to go through everything. I need to do the same this weekend!

    4. I’m starting to do the French Wardrobe method and I’m really liking it so far. The hardest part of getting starting is figuring out what your “basic” or “staple” items are. I’d start by decluttering and seeing what’s missing from your basics, and then replenishing them. That would immediately give you more versatility in your wardrobe and give you a good platform for getting the items you really love.

    5. Don’t just throw all your clothes away! There must be at least a few pieces you like to wear. If you dump all of your clothes and have to replace a wardrobe from scratch in a short period of time, you’ll just end up with the same problem you have now.

      I’ve been on a similar mission, but spacing it out over the past year and a half. It takes time, and I only buy what I truly love and flatters me. I’ve also gotten much better at being honest about what I don’t wear, and either giving it away or selling it on eBay if it still has value. I have a significantly smaller wardrobe than I used to, but I wear a greater variety of clothes since I actually wear all of them. Like ss said, there really isn’t a pressure outside of you, so don’t put artificial constraints on yourself.

    6. I kind of did this same thing recently. I knew that I would be starting a new job in about 6 months, and I wanted to step up my game. Plus, my old wardrobe (which was never large to begin with), was starting to get old. Largely, I just needed a change psychologically.

      I started buying new pieces, but I didn’t wear any of the new stuff until I started my new job. I didn’t buy a ton, and I tried to do the whole “capsule” thing, by buying just certain colors and cuts.

      In the end, I have ended up keeping some of my old clothes. I realized that one of the reasons they had been staples was because they were so darn comfortable, and over time, they had survived natural selection. But I feel much better wearing them now, because I have kind of “chosen” to keep them. I’m not just wearing them because I don’t have any other options.

      Still, I wish that I has used a personal shopper at Nordstrom’s. I am terrible with clothing. I mean, I know what clothes I like, but I’m not great at picking out what will look good on me. And I get impatient really fast when I’m going into stores, trying things on, hating how I look in the fitting room, etc. I think a personal shopper would be much better for me.

      I also think it will help if you designate money towards new clothes. I’m also a sales shopper. I won’t buy something if it’s not on sale. But I’m trying to buying clothes that a little better-made, so that they’re a better quality. I managed to get a few pieces that I really like from ThredUp (although I returned much more stuff there), and that has helped me get a taste of how good things like silk cardigans feel, and how much better they wear. I think I’m starting to get more comfortable spending a little bit more money on clothes.

    7. Can you start by going through Pinterest and creating a board with everything you like, then look for trends? Or get catalogs from a number of stores and tear out everything you like, and look at it all together. Also, can you start to notice when you’re wearing something you feel at home in? For example, you might love how boho chic looks in a photo, but when you wear it, it just doesn’t feel like “you.” Then if you pick one neutral — black, brown, navy — you can build a wardrobe around it where everything works with everything else (you probably have some staple items in your wardrobe already you can use as a foundation). Also, if you have a friend with great style sense or can find a good assistant in a store, see if that person can figure out why some of your clothes feel frumpy and suggest alternatives. For example, I feel frumpy if my suit jacket is too long. I look much better in a shorter jacket even though other women prefer the longer style. It might be that you have a number of things that are just hitting you in the wrong place and someone with a good eye can see what’s not working and suggest small changes that will make you feel much better in your clothes.

    8. You’ll likely regret just tossing everything. There must be a few items that you actually like in your wardrobe. Start off my trying on every single thing and getting rid of things that don’t fit or are damaged.

    9. My advice would be to think about which specific outfits you gravitate towards – the items that you always seem to pair together, the outfits you have that you feel great in. My guess is you will probably see some similarities between the outfits you identified, and it will help you narrow down a “style” or at least help you learn what types of outfits you gravitate to. Another thing I think others have mentioned here is to search Pinterest for outfits that you like, and see if you have components of those in your closet already. If you go the personal shopper route, having pictures of styles and outfits you like will probably help the shopper when searching for items for you.

      I personally have been doing a lot of donating lately – I figured out the types of outfits I gravitate to for work and weekend, and I have gotten rid of nearly everything that doesn’t seem to fit into those outfits. I then identified what items I am missing and keep a list of those handy for when I am shopping. Helps me reduce the “because it’s on sale!” purchases. I also mull over items longer – I will put it back on the rack, and if in a few days I am STILL thinking about it, I will go back and buy it. If it’s not there anymore, I didn’t need it that badly.

    10. Go try stuff on! It might help to use a shopping assistant and Nordstrom/Neiman Marcus/Bloomies/Lord & Taylor to pick stuff out. Make sure you buy enough new clothing before disposing of your current wardrobe.

    11. I did this. I had lots of clothes, none of which really went with each other (lots of different styles, lots of different colours which didn’t go with each other, lots of aspirational things which didn’t fit my actual life). I set out a clear colour palette and ‘mode’ of dressing and now everything I buy fits into that. I didn’t have much high quality stuff to start with, though, so giving it all to the charity shops wasn’t too painful!

      1. In addition to Wardrobe Oxygen (mentioned above), you might also take a look at Angie’s blog at You Look Fab for capsule ideas. Both are great!

    14. Last year I had to live in a hotel for 3 weeks with my family, 2 kids dog etc. so I had to pack carefully.

      I laboured over what to pack, mix and match, and fit into tiny place. Turns out I really only liked about 12 items of my summer work wardrobe. It was very freeing. I would try that idea to see what you would really keep if you could only ‘pack’ a few things. That might be your base of a new wardrobe

      1. I +1 KillerKittenHeels. Also, go out and try on a bunch of different brands and fits. You’ll find that some make you look great. Then you can over time sale shop the basics you need to fill in her list
        from those brands most likely to flatter you. I use ShopStyle for this and only buy when things hit an in-budget price point. We also have casual Friday, so I would add two pairs of dark wash jeans, and plan on wearing out some of your random sale buys with the jeans and a jacket.

  10. Advice needed-I’ve been practicing 2 years. I’m currently in a federal job with a very busy litigation case load. Te case load is so large that I constantly feel stressed and overwhelmed. I work nights and weekends, and constantly feel like I can’t even keep my head above water. I know others in my office–some who are much more senior–feel the same way about the workload. It’s getting to the point that I am starting to feel like practicing law isn’t for me–I’m simply not equipped to operating in a state of emergency all the time. My question is this: is this something typical of all federal attorney careers? Is it like this just the nature of practicing law? Is it time I look for another career?

    1. There are plenty of legal jobs where you don’t have to operate in a state of emergency all the time. Your options are somewhat limited for litigation since there will always be deadlines and last-minute changes, but there are some smaller/mid-size firms (or even other agencies) where you could have a lighter caseload. Personally though I do counseling work in a niche field and have a pretty even schedule. If you still like the substance of what you do, there are definitely other options out there where you can practice law but not drown in work.

    2. Is this your only job after law school? Consider looking for another attorney job, but don’t think you’re not equipped to handle it. You just don’t want to work in that environment and there’s nothing wrong with making that decision. I think being an attorney can be stressful regardless of the area of law, but it doesn’t have to be constant. It sounds like this job isn’t right for you. Start networking and get your resume together. Find something you enjoy or at least don’t hate.

    3. That is definitely not typical of all federal legal careers. While the work can ebb and flow, which results in busy periods like what you’re describing (a week long jury trial, or the week before a big deadline), there’s also a basic control over your caseload. As in, if you have a lot of active/open cases, you might decline a few until you can get caught up. I don’t know what agency you’re with, but there are other federal agencies where this is definitely not the norm. If you’re being paid like a government employee (i.e. not great), it’s not worth it to be that stressed out. (Not to say that being paid more does make stress worth it, although if I’m going to be in a constant state of emergency, I’m going to have to be paid a lot more to tolerate it!)

    4. I wouldn’t say it’s the nature of law, but it seems to me it’s definitely at least somewhat the nature of litigation (five years out, litigation attorney). I’ve had some success getting to a more manageable workload by moving to a suburban firm, where the workload is a little less, but the cut in pay (coming from a Biglaw-level salary) relative to the reduction in the work load is only just barely worth it.

    5. I have one of those high litigation federal jobs and honestly it took me years to realize that not everything is an emergency and that I will never clear all of my to-do list. Once I recategorized true emergencies, I made a rule for myself that I would not stay past a certain hour or come in on the weekends except for those situations. My life is tremendously better and surprisingly everything that needs to be done, gets done, with much less stress.

    6. I’m in one of those jobs (federal employee in litigation) as well, and I think there is a period of adjustment (at least several years, for me) to adapt to the pace and the volume. I agree with Bonnie above that you learn, as time goes on, that many things can wait, and you don’t need to work 70+ hours a week to keep things running smoothly. That said (and i don’t know if you’re in a position where you frequently do trials), when trials do come around, I plan accordingly and steel myself for the fact that I’m going to be working much harder than usual. The same is true for large investigations that culminate in indictments (again, not sure if you are in criminal).

      I’m happy to talk further if you want (post an anon email addy and i will email you). I’ve been doing this almost six years now and finally feel like I have the hang of it. :)

    7. I’m in a federal job doing litigation, but appellate. I love it because there are no emergencies ever, but it’s still litigation and very challenging work. Lots of federal agencies have appellate practices. Something to consider!

  11. Can anyone comment on the cut and sizing of Reiss dresses and suiting? I love the styles but the brand is not available in stores in my area and I am hesitant to order on the web without some idea of how things might fit. I have a straight figure, size 0 tall in J. Crew and other crazy vanity-sized brands, size 2 in M.M. LaFleur and Classiques Entier, and US 4 in Boden.

    1. Question for you, how do you find the fit/sizes so different in J Crew and Boden? I wear an 8 in both of those for blazers and also an 8 in Reiss blazers. I wear a 4 or 6 (sometimes tall) in J crew bottoms and a 6 or 8 (closer to 8) in Reiss bottoms. For dresses, also an 8 in Reiss but a 6 tall in J Crew, usually 6L in Boden but sometimes an 8L for the bust or length.

      1. I think that J. Crew’s sizes are farther apart than Boden’s, so at the middle of the size range the sizes are similar, but they diverge at the far ends of the spectrum. I also can’t wear Boden blazers or structured dresses–the bust in a US4 is too big, but the shoulders aren’t broad enough in a US2.

    2. I wear a 2 in J. Crew dresses and get an 8 in Reiss suit dresses. But for me, the sizing-up is because of my hips/butt and how I like my work dresses to fit in that area–I can do a 4 in the flowier A line and fit and flare casual dresses. If you’re straight-figured, you might only need to go up one size to a 2 (if you’re buying from Bloomingdale’s, or Reiss online and indicate US for shipping, they will display US sizes so no need to worry about converting to UK sizing).

      I’ll add that for the sheath dresses, the size chart is pretty reliable–my measurements put me in a UK8/US4 on top and UK10-12/US6-8 on bottom, so when I order an 8, it fits on the bottom with just a little extra room (but a 6 probably would’ve been too snug) and there’s about two sizes worth to take in on top. So check the chart and if it too recommends a US2 for you, I’d think you should be pretty safe going with that.

    3. I would try the 2. It’s not vanity sized, but it doesn’t run particularly small. Reiss has free returns, if I remember correctly. I’ve successfully returned things to them before. The tailoring on their clothing is beautiful, but if you are tall, their sleeves are not overly long. I think the jackets also run a little narrow in the shoulders – you might want to size up to a 4 on that just in case.

      1. Thanks for the info, all!

        I am not actually tall, just long-waisted, so sleeves that are not overly long are perfect. In non-tall-sized dresses, I have to be careful to select styles that can be tailored around the middle, as the waist of the dress will hit at my ribcage and the hips of the dress will hit at my waist.

  12. So, I’m getting married soon, and while it’s a hugely important event for many reasons, one of the big things is that I’ve been “waiting until marriage.” I have to admit, I’m a little nervous although mostly I’m excited.

    Given my status, I have never thought much about birth control. But I am planning to start it (after I talk with my Doc). Besides not wanting to get pregnant right now, I also want some help with monthly cramps and stuff. As I’ve gotten into my early 30s, they’ve gotten worse overall.

    I don’t know a lot about birth control options, other than what I hear being advertised. Does anyone have good things to say about a particular kind? I am kind of inclined toward a medication, because it seems like that’s what would help with cramps and stuff. I am a little unsure about meds where you don’t have your monthly cycle (What happens to those eggs?, she wonders.)

    Anyway, I’ll talk with my doctor about all of this, of course, but I want a little education before I walk in.

    1. For help with cramps, you’ll be looking primarily for hormonal birth control- pill, patch, or ring are the most common, and you’ll likely go with the pill for ease of use.

      Most birth control pills, whether they give you a period every month or every three months, prevent ovulation all together. Those eggs just hang out in your ovaries.

      Planned Parenthood has a lot of really comprehensive info on their website, but you’ll probably wind up taking a regular old birth control pill!

    2. Planned Parenthood has a lot of detailed information/faq on their website about various types of birth control, as does the Columbia University Go Ask Alice page. I’d start there.

    3. Not a doctor but here’s my layperson’s understanding.

      The pill is easy to start with, but I’m curious how long it is until your wedding. Some people have strong reactions to hormonal (e.g., pill) birth control and you don’t want to be strung out on new crazy-pills right when you’re in the midst of wedding craziess. Also, it takes a month for it to start working, so you’d want to either start soon enough that everything’s “go” by the time your wedding day comes, or be sure to use a back-up method (condoms) until the pill is operational. If you stop getting your period (which is pretty awesome btw, I was on Loestrin 24 and stopped getting it and it was GREAT) I think the eggs just hang out in your ovaries. You have way way way more than you’ll ever use anyway.

      IUDs are terrific and used to be recommended only for women who’d already had a baby but now are recommended even before you’ve had a baby. The biggest pro is that you don’t have to think about it. With the pill you have to take it every single day at exactly the same time every day (within a 1 hr window to be fully effective). With an IUD, your doctor puts it in and you’re good for 5-10 yrs (depending on the type). Also, if you plan to have a baby in the next few years, the pill’s effects can take a little while to wear off whereas the IUD just gets removed by your doctor and you’re ready to go. And the IUD comes in non-hormonal form (Paraguard is non-hormonal while Mirena has hormones; Paraguard is good for 10yrs while Mirena is good just for 5). IUDs are also cheaper. Most health insurance covers them 100% or pretty close while the pill you have to pay the co-pay for the prescription every month (plus remembering to get the prescription refilled and going back to your doctor every year for a new prescription). Insertion is kind of painful, but I took a bunch of Advil about an hour before and it really wasn’t bad at all (at least for me).

      There are also condoms, foam, film, diaphragms, etc. but these are all less effective, messier, and more of a pain than the pill or an IUD.

      Oh and congratulations!

      1. Your eggs “hang out in your ovaries” if you’re on any type of hormonal birth control. The pills prevent ovulation – i.e., the release of an egg. This is true regardless of whether you have a period or not on birth control.

      2. Just a warning: the pill’s effects do not take any time to wear off! As soon as you aren’t taking it your body will switch back to baby making mode. For some women that mode is baby now, for some it’s a more leisurely pace, but you can absolutely get pregnant your first month off the pill.

        Which is why you should def talk to your doctor about what your concerns and timeframe are.

        Personally, I found hormonal birth control destroyed my sex drive and am much happier with condoms, but it really is so individual.

        1. They don’t take time to wear off in that you shouldn’t rely on carry-over to prevent conception, but some women don’t ovulate again for a few months. And roses is totally right — the eggs just hang out. Clearly not a doctor. Don’t even play one on TV.

        2. Unfortunately, that is not true for all women – signed someone who very much wants a baby and has not resumed ovulating after stopping the pill 6 months ago :(

          But you never know if you will be one of those women who starts ovulating right away or not, so Anonymous is still right that you should talk to your doctor.

      3. I get crazy bad cramps since I’ve gotten my Paraguard IUD, which I don’t recall having before I started taking BC pills (I was on pills for maybe 5 years before I got an IUD). If you already have bad cramps, I wouldn’t recommend it. I otherwise like not having to think about birth control, though, so you might consider Mirena IUD instead, which might help with cramps since it’s hormonal. But if you’re planning on having kids in less than 5 years, I wouldn’t bother with an IUD and just go with pills.

      4. I’m an IUD evangelist. I love my Mirena IUD. It completely stopped my period, which of course stopped cramps and any other side effects. My doctor said that happens with most people, even those who end up spotting for some time. If you really really really don’t want to get pregnant, it is as effective as tubal ligation. It also has a much lower dose of hormones than the pill, so I had virtually no side effects (YMMV, of course). I had mine for 4 years before deciding it was time to try for kids, and it was worth every penny. I’ll definitely get one again whether or not I’m able to get pregnant.

        1. I love my Mirena as well. I had a very very light period for a couple years and now it’s getting heavier again, but I still only need light protection. No side effects, versus BC pill which made me feel terrible and once I went off it I didn’t get my period again for over a year, so it completely messed with my system. I plan to get another Mirena once my 5 years is up. It doesn’t hurt to use a condom as back up, no matter which option you choose. Talk with your doc for sure!

        2. If the OP has never taken hormonal BC, I might recommend a pill prior to an IUD, only because if she turns out not to tolerate hormones well, that’s $500-700 down the drain right away.

          (I wanted to love my Mirena, but a progesterone-only approach turns out really not to work well for me – spotty bleeding almost daily for a year, hair loss, bad cramps…what a bummer.)

        3. I loved the Mirena but the first month or so was a hormonal mood-swinging nightmare.

          I’d say if you decide to go with any kind of hormonal method you should start now to get the possible craziness out of the way in advance of the wedding.

        1. Many insurers are using loopholes to get around this. I eventually gave up and stopped taking BC altogether, but before that, mine ranged from $29 to $70 per month. That was this year. For one, only the brand name was free but no one would tell you this–I discovered it and had to get my GP to write the Rx as brand name only, no subs, and the pharmacy would still try to substitute because it made no sense to them. The other one, insurance claimed there were other generic alternatives that were chemically equivalent, which was not true in that case.

          1. Late add: The National Women’s Law Center published a very good report earlier this year detailing the issues that many women have had getting various forms of BC that are supposed to be covered with no co-pay. NWLC + birth control + ACA as search terms should get you to it if you’re interested.

      6. The pill actually doesn’t take a month to become effective – they used to tell people that so they’d be extra careful, but in general it’s effective immediately if you start it on the first day of your period and effective within, I believe, 5-7 days if you start it at any other time. OP, you’ll want to read the packaging and discuss with your doctor. But I agree definitely with thinking about how the hormones might effect you and how much prior to your wedding to get started!

      7. Wait wait. Does insurance cover the IUD now because of Obamacare? I had to pay almost the entire cost both times I got one. Man, that would be awesome (and if true, ignore my comment about the out of pocket cost).

        1. I am not sure about the effect Obamacare has had on things, but when I got my IUD almost 5 years ago, my insurance would cover Mirena, but not Paraguard.

        2. It does, unless you are on some old grandfathered plan (rare). Mine was free! Hooray!

        3. Yes, my insurance (which is pretty standard) covered it, with only an office visit co-pay for the insertion.

          1. Same. I paid $30 total I think – $15 consultation, $15 insertion. I nearly died when I saw how much they billed my insurance for, though. Something like $250 for the consult + $500 for insertion (which took her all of 90 seconds) + $900 for the device.

    4. Your doctor will be able to help detail the differences between various methods, but in the meantime, this should be helpful in answering your preliminary questions about how birth control works: http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/how-do-birth-control-pills-work.

      Hormonal IUDs release the same stuff as pills, just in a lower constant dose. But if you plan to have children in less than two years I probably wouldn’t go through the trouble of having one inserted, since it would be a hassle to go have it removed within such a short period of time.

      Since you are in your 30s, you may also want to talk with your doctor about when you’re thinking about getting pregnant and the relationship of timing and fertility. Taking Charge of Your Fertility might be educational as well.

      1. +1 for Taking Charge of Your Fertility! Everything you need to know about preventing babies now, and having them in the future, should you choose to.

        Also, beware of emotional side effects of hormonal birth control (e.g. ring, Pill, IUD with hormones). I had very bad emotional reactions to several different varieties of the Pill, and eventually concluded that it was not for me. I joked that the Pill made me so unpleasant and moody that I’d never get pregnant b/c I’d never want to have s*x. You might not want to mess with your hormones right before your wedding – an incredibly emotional time no matter what – maybe use condoms for the first few times.

    5. Check out bedsider.org – my gyno recommended it to me. It sounds like you want some type of hormonal method – pill, ring, or IUD. If you’re not sure, get a pill because you can easily switch to another type if you don’t like the one you try first.

      If you want something you don’t have to think about that will last years, an IUD is good option. I have a Skyla IUD and I have no issues with it. I did pass out when they put it in, though, as a warning. They clamp open your cervix during insertion and I found that incredibly painful and weird-feeling despite the 800mg of Ibuprofen I took. Many people have no problems, though, and it is very quick. They typically insert it during your period, since your cervix is naturally more open then. I got the Skyla because I felt it would be less painful since it was smaller, but having had one inserted I don’t think it would make a difference and I probably would have gone for a Mirena if I was doing it again. The nurse recommended eating something before insertion, which would have been helpful to know earlier as I went on my lunch break.

    6. I’m on a generic combined Pill. (It’s the cheapest one – and the NHS here pay for it so I wasn’t inclined to disagree). I run packs together but could get a period if I wanted to. To answer your question – the eggs just stay where they are, but they do that even if you don’t take the break and have a period: that’s how the hormonal contraceptives work.

    7. I’ll be the one person to plug for Nuva Ring. I’m no longer on it (or any type of BC) but I truly loved it for about 3 years. I’m admittedly terrible at reliably taking a daily pill, especially at the same time, and I liked having something that was not super long term like an IUD (though, of course, you can have those taken out at any time) but that I only had to think about once a month. I personally never experienced weight gain or other drastic side effects. Of course, there are some that are reported for Nuva Ring, but that goes for any type of hormonal birth control.

      1. Wanted to add, back when I decided on the ring I probably would have strongly considered the IUD as an alternative, except at that point they were still not recommending it for nulliparous women. So I also think that’s a really good option now too.

        One more thing: it turns out that I may have various hormonal issues that were covered up for years by hormonal birth control, that are now hard to diagnose since it’s taking several months for my body to adjust to the lack of additional hormones. This doesn’t seem like it applies for you but I just wanted to throw it out there.

      2. I happily used the Ring for years before I had kids. I didn’t experience any noticeable side effects, and I’m terrible at remembering to take a daily pill, so the Ring was perfect for me. I could also skip periods by leaving it in during that 4th week and replacing it immediately after that.

    8. This is the article that led to me switching from pills to the hormonal implant:
      http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/09/14/sunday-review/unplanned-pregnancies.html?_r=0

      Pros of implant:

      Lasts for three years but you can have It taken out whenever you want; don’t have to think about contraception; amazing success rate

      Cons:

      It disturbs your periods for the first six months or so, but this could lead to you having no periods until it’s removed (a pro for me); you will have a small scab on your arm for the first month where it is inserted.

      1. Also, I absolutely hate using condoms – stopping the action to put one on, however subtly it’s done, annoys me. You may not know how you feel about them until you start having sex.

    9. I just want to add that it’s really worth watching the side effects. My first year of marriage was so hard–things improved immeasurably when I went off hormonal birth control which was making me into an emotional wreck.

    10. Talk to your mom, sisters maybe cousins about the hormone issues they may have had… Birth control works by altering your hormone balance. Remember that antibiotis reduce effectiveness of any hormonal birth control. Definitely track side effects.

  13. I had an MRI angio yesterday as a baseline/preventative measure because of family history (including my dad’s death when I was real young) of brain aneurysms. Everything was fine with the scans. HOWEVER, when I went to get dressed after the MRI I noticed that one of my eyes all of a sudden had a blood patch in it – I guess a ruptured blood vessel? Has this ever happened to any of you before? The tech had never seen that happen to anyone. Today it’s a bit worse and uncomfortable. I’ve never had a ruptured blood vessel in my eye. I usually wear contacts but am wearing glasses today because I was afraid of aggravating. I took my contacts out immediately upon arriving home after the MRI. Argh!

    1. Mine aren’t related to MRIs, but I have had blood vessels rupture in my eye a couple of times. They always look worse than they are. Mine are significantly better a day or two after (to the point that I’m probably the only one who would notice unless I point it out to others), and fully gone within 5-7 days.

    2. Do you have an issues with high blood pressure?

      This happens to a family member once or twice a year. I would not worry about it, as long as you know your blood pressure is well controlled.

      My guess is that you were holding your breath during your MRI, and were in there for a long time…. anxious…. holding your breath… uncomfortable…. holding your breath… stressed… holding your breath. And while holding your breath your ‘bared down’ (as if you were going to the bathroom)… which is normal while you are holding your breath. But can cause your blood pressure to increase. So you had a transient spike in your blood pressure that ruptured a tiny blood vessel in your eye. It happens.

      It is totally benign. It is not related to MRI magnets and are not at risk for it happening again or having a worse bleed in your eye or your brain. It has nothing to do with your your risk for aneurysms or your father’s tragic early bleed and passing. Wow… I’m so sorry that happened to your family.

      Avoid any blood thinners today (aspirin, naproxen, ibuprofen, fish oil, any supplements/chinese herbs or anything that you aren’t sure if it could be a blood thinner). It is normal for it to spread a little over time so it may look “worse” the next day, but it isn’t still bleeding.

      But to have pain in your eye or trouble with your vision is not normal, so you can call your doctor if you have that.

  14. Thank you note q- do you address the email to a nickname if that’s how they introduced themselves? Like dan v Daniel. Or should I be doing ms./mr. Thank you!

      1. +1. It feels tone deaf when a law student does it, but I’ll excuse based on inexperience. If a lateral candidate did it, I’d consider it weird.

    3. Absolutely nickname. I go by a common nickname to a common longer name (think Kate instead of Katherine) and if I got a thank you note that said “Dear Katherine” I would assume you weren’t paying ANY attention at all during our conversation.

    4. Assuming this is a professional thank-you email, I would probably address it to Ms./Mr., unless you’ve met with the person multiple times. I wouldn’t ding someone I had only met once, and briefly, for being overly formal.

      If you go with first name, definitely use the name they used in introducing themselves. Otherwise, it sounds like you weren’t listening. And some people have strong feelings about their full names, such as “I’ve never liked Daniel,” or ‘Daniel is my father, I’m Dan.”

      1. Apparently, I’m in the minority on using Mr./Ms., and I’ll defer to the majority. Use the nickname. And I miss the edit feature.

    5. Agree with the advice to go with a nickname and no Ms./Mr….. with one small exception. If there is a very large gap in the hierarchy between you and the person you are thanking, and this is someone you have met only once or twice and they have done a favor for you, then you might be better off with title/lastname. For example, if you are an undergrad thanking a professor who made special arrangements to let you into a course, then you’ll want to thank “Professor Smith”. Or if you’re an intern thanking the company CEO after meeting them once for a exit interview (depending on company culture).

  15. Anyone know the average salary for an associate GC position at Freddie or Fannie? Not sure why its not listed in the job descriptions…

    1. I don’t know, but we never list salary in our advertisements for in-house attorneys (of any level).

  16. i vaguely remember there being a website or blogger who mocked the NY times wedding announcements. does that still exist? where can i find it?

    3. Gawker used to do this. It was called Altarcations. I don’t think they’ve done it in years, though.

    5. Also Legal Eagle Wedding Watch on AbovetheLaw, but they only mock preftigtious attorney-types.

  17. Hi Bay Area ladies. My BF and I need to speak to an accountant ASAP to determine the potential tax consequences of exercising a fair number of employee stock options. We have less than a month before they expire. He is in SF, I’m in Palo Alto. We’re looking for someone smart and trustworthy who doesn’t charge an arm and a leg. Neither of us is wealthy. I’m in law, he’s in tech. We just need to know what moves to make to avoid screwing ourselves over. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

    2. Brian Proses in San Francisco is great. He’s worked with a few of my colleagues and gives sound advice.

      1650 California St
      San Francisco, CA 94109
      (415) 776-1856

  18. Thoughts on this bag? I’ve been on the hunt for a new bag for work/client meetings for the last few months and fell in lust with this one at Bloomie’s yesterday. I learned yesterday that my year-end bonus will likely be pretty healthy this year, so I’m thinking of splurging on this as a treat to myself (though the thought of spending 4 figures on a bag makes my head hurt).

    http://www1.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/salvatore-ferragamo-tote-amy-large?ID=1220486

    1. I really like it, and would say go for it.

      The only downside that I see is lack of dividers/organizing pockets, and no loop to attach to a suitcase if you travel. If your looking for that, I can’t recommend TUMI totes enough.

    2. If you love it and it won’t make you starve, go for it!

      I personally feel like the shape might be dated in a year or two. The side panels folded outward to me looks like a trendy feature rather than a classic feature. And it seems to have no pockets inside? So those things would make me not want it. But if you love it & you think you’ll love it for a long time, i’d say do it.

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