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I don't think this is quite as tricky as the puzzle rings I loved in my teens, but I do love the rose gold and semiprecious stones — and I like that it's stackable. It was $195, but is now marked to $135 at ShopBop. Tory Burch Puzzle Metal Ring Set This Kendra Scott ring set is similar and slightly more affordable at $75; this dainty hammered ring (which is stackable but not sold as a set) is so pretty, but more expensive at $159. (L-all)Sales of note for 10.24.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event, 30% off! Suits are included in the 30% off!
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything, and redeem Stylecash!
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – Friends & Family event, 30% off sitewide.
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off entire purchase, plus free shipping no minimum
- White House Black Market – Buy more, save more; buy 3+ get an extra 50% off
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Wedding guest attire help
What would you wear to an evening wedding in Brooklyn? Looks like the venue is a warehouse-type building. Attire is cocktail. I might just have an inferiority complex, but nothing in my closet looks chic to me right now.
lawsuited
I would wear the same outfit I’m wearing to a Montreal wedding this weekend – black cigar*tt* pants and a cropped black lace top with fringe (that looks a lot better than it sounds) with red lipstick and red heels.
Meg March
That doesn’t sound like cocktail attire to me, although I must admit I’m struggling to picture the top. I’d get something short and colorful from rent the runway.
lawsuited
It has all the elements of cocktail attire, but with pants instead of a skirt/dress. The pants are a shantung-type fabric, and the top is lace with elbow-length chiffon sleeves and 3″ fringe along the bottom. The whole outfit basically a bunch of gorgeous textures all in black – it’s very dressy but not traditional. Can you tell I love this outfit?
anon
It sounds awesome!
Anonymous
Yes. :-)
Anonymous
A black cocktail dress.
Need to Improve
A jumpsuit with big statement jewlery
lawsuited
+1
Open Office Question
I have a question for those of you in open offices. I recently moved from big law where I had my own office to a government job where I’m in a cubicle. This, of course, came with many adjustments, but there’s one particular thing I’m wondering about. I like to snack on fruits and vegetables once or twice a day (like an apple or a bag of baby carrots). But these items can make a lot of noise when you eat them (they seem a lot louder than eating a protein bar or something). Am I being a jerk if I continue to eat a small bag of baby carrots every day? I think it annoys one of my cube mates, but I’m not sure if he’s being unreasonable or if I’m being rude. Advice appreciated!
Anonymous
I think he’s being unreasonable and you’re fine.
JTX
Carrots are a great choice for an office snack. They’re not messy and they don’t smell. Also, they probably aren’t as loud as you think. I wouldn’t worry about this at all.
Nati
Totally fine.
Carrot Monster
I’ll be the voice of dissent. They are as loud as you think. Evaluate your eating style and be really fair about how much noise you make. Baby carrots do make a lot of noise even for quiet eaters. Especially that first chomp of eat one. Shiver me timbers, it’s an awful sound!
Signed,
Headphone-wearing officemate of a carrot eater
nona
+1 – He might be legitimately annoyed. I would be, though, I also recognize that I’ve got a misphonia issue that makes any food/mouth noises when it is otherwise quiet like nails on a chalkboard for me. Which is why I also wear the headphones.
I’ll also say – while cubicles are more open as a floorplan than an office, I wouldn’t consider them a truly open floorplan. When I think of open floorplans, I’m really thinking of rows of desks *without* cubicles. Cubicles are a cubefarm, not an open floorplan. You may have noise issues, but at least cubes don’t have the visual disruptions that open floorplans do.
Open Office Question
You’re right, cubicles are different than a true open office.
I am worried that my carrots and apple really are as loud as I think they are. I guess my question is though is it is still unreasonable? My cube mates do things that annoy me (for example, extended phone calls) that I wish they would take somewhere else but ultimately we all need to make some concessions. I don’t want to turn my snacking into a bigger deal than it needs to be, so I guess I’m just wondering … even if I know for a fact that he is annoyed that I munch on carrots for 5 minutes a day if it’s reasonable to expect me to … I don’t know, eat my carrots in the hallway.
lost academic
You can’t win with c arrots, they are insanely loud.
I slice my apples into small, thin slices and they aren’t so loud.
Open Office Question
I’m laughing about the “carrot monster.” That’s a good one.
Does it make a difference if somebody is munching constantly throughout the day as opposed to say, 5 minutes of eating an apple or some carrots? I’m just thinking about what you said about being fair about how much noise I make. I am generally a quiet person and am careful to take all of my phone calls in a conference room or the hallway. But the person who is annoyed with my carrots is CONSTANTLY on the phone and never seems to try to take his calls anywhere else and just makes a lot of noise generally.
Anonymous
Not carrot monster, but even I would be annoyed by all-day crunching. Crunching for 5-10 minutes is fine, as long as it’s not every single hour.
Signed,
the carrot, apple, and doritos eater.
Mary Claire
I would think it a bit odd/annoying if it is every single freaking day. Can you alternate between carrots and less crunchy snacks?
Minnie Beebe
I’d take baby carrots any day over the nail clipping and snot-snorting I’m subjected to in my open office. I say, chomp away.
Open Office Question
Ugh, yes, nail clipping! That one kills me.
Nati
If you can’t handle someone eating an apple or baby carrots for 5-10 minutes a day, how do you survive in the real world? I’m a city dweller and background noise is just a part of my life. I wake up in the morning to the sound of construction (backup beeping of trucks, etc.), there’s pretty much always a background chorus of car honking, child screaming, dog barking, bicycle bells, etc. no matter where I go. I just tune it out. I guess that’s not possible for everyone but complaining about baby carrots seems really sensitive to me.
Open Office Question
I agree. I just think there’s something about a group of professionals who are used to having their own office that makes people really sensitive. We have to have a huge meeting any time someone wants to adjust the thermostat even slightly. It’s a struggle.
Curiouser and curiouser
As someone who absolutely hates the sound of chewing (hates hates hates), I still say — what you are doing is reasonable. I can tolerate 10 min a day. Worst case, I’ll figure out it’s your habit and walk away when I hear it start and I’m having a particularly bad, forgot-my-noise-cancelling headphone day.
Go for it!
LAJen
Some of us suffer from misphonia, which makes these types of sounds utterly unbearable. They actually hurt my ears. They make me feel insane and enraged. This is not something controlled by just dealing with it, and since I have sensitive ears, it’s helped only marginally by wearing headphones. This is an actual condition and it caused me to literally flee living in the middle of a city to the suburbs where it was quieter. It influences which apartments I can live in and limits my ability to bear being on public transportation.
Read up on misophonia!
Open Office Question
I’ll totally admit that my eating carrots may be anywhere from slightly annoying to as terrible as what you describe. I still just wonder though – in an open office, don’t we all have to make some concessions? Like I’m not thrilled he refuses to take her personal calls anywhere else and I have to hear him talk about that one time he had kidney stones to his wife and occasionally clips his nails at his desk. He’s not thrilled I eat carrots. Neither of us are thrilled we’re in an open office. But if it rises to the level of a disability, that seems different.
Anonymous
I expect those who have misophonia have to use strategies in most aspects of their life to deal with everyday noises, including the sound of others chewing.I’d expect someone with misophonia in my workplace to use those strategies rather than expecting everyone else in the workplace to cease chewing.
anon
if you think it is bothering him, it probably is. and if something he was doing annoyed you, how would you want him to react?? i suggest cutting your carrots into smaller slivers to reduce crunching or maybe take your snack on a walk
Anonymous
For an outdoor Sun-night wedding at a New England B&B with a semi-formal dress code in Oct., can I wear a sparkly cocktail dress?
Meg March
Can you dress it down, maybe with a chic leather jacket? Sparkly cocktail dresses seem to be on the more formal end of cocktail, rather than the semi-formal end.
Anonymous
Sure, but it’s a bit much.
Need to Improve
Totally depends on the dress. “Formal” traditionally means floor-length, and “semi-formal” is the equivalent of cocktail, so it could be fine.
Brighton
Does anyone know who shops at Brighton or buys their things?
I have a lot of female relatives of various ages who love Vera Bradley (esp. before they became a private equity portfolio company) and the like but no one I know ever shops at Brighton (and yet someone does, just like how someone buys Mariah Carey’s music and goes to her tours).
I live in a bubble, no? [And yet, I have a minivan and live in the suburbs, so if I didn’t buy Brighton, surely I’d know a fan or two.]
Anonymous
Uh, my mother in law does. But beyond her and those of her general station in life (southern solidly middle class grandmother), I sure don’t.
Brighton
That’s the crazy thing — that is my family (teachers of small children, retired teachers of small children, Sunday school teachers). All small towns. Vera Bradley fans. Lily fans (if on sale). I love Lily (and like some Vera — who doesn’t love the lightness of a non-leather bag on weekends, esp. if they have pockets). Target fans. Talbots shoppers (and I do think that Talbots makes some awesome ponte dresses).
Is Brighton more expensive? Higher prestige (like how everyone has LV neverfulls, then the cooler kids get Goyard?)? There is a whole store devoted to it in my local mall (and I did follow their recent supreme court case on suggested list price). And I ran into another store elsewhere recently (Texas? California? been a lot of work travel lately, and I would not have expected to see it on a work trip at all).
BabyAssociate
I never heard of Brighton until this post!
Sydney Bristow
Same here!
Anon
It’s quite popular in my Texas suburb.
Anon
My Mom went through a Brighton phase when she was about 40 years old. She and her similarly-aged friend bought ALL THE BRIGHTON THINGS for a couple years. She liked the two-toned look and later graduated to a much more expensive David Yurman obsession. She lives in a medium-sized city in a state in the middle of the country and is otherwise classically stylish.
anon-oh-no
my former assistant does.
Anonymous
I was really into their shoes for a while.
nan
I collect their charm bracelets from different states. You can only get them in the state and I love to wear more than one together at a time. Otherwise I’m out on that style.
luggage
My new job requires frequent 1 or 2 day business trips, mostly travelling by plane. I need a good bag to fit one or two suits, shoes, a comfy plane outfit (read: sweatshirt because I am always freezing) and the usual extras. I’m using a separate backpack for laptop/phones/files etc. already. I was going to get a smaller roller bag, but every flight I’ve taken recently has had tiny overhead storage and forced you to gate-check anything with wheels. Please share your easy to carry, carry-on luggage!
Anonymous
By gate check, do you mean real gate check with a red tag, or gate checking where they send it through to baggage claim because it’s a crowded flight? I have a bag that is a combination rolling laptop case with a small suitcase component for overnights. Not sure if it’ll fit under most single seats, but it will work if there are 2 seats next to each other. If the plane is that small though, it usually doesn’t take long to collect your luggage planeside.
luggage
I’ve had them both return my luggage plane side and also announce when we land that nevermind, they’re sending it to baggage claim. So for just one or two days I’d rather not deal with that stress.
Anonymous
I use a Lo and Sons OG for these types of trips.
BabyAssociate
Thanks for this recommendation, just picked one of these up!
Anonymous
Hope you like it! I’ve had mine for several years and can pack running shoes, heels, gym clothes, 1-2 suits or dresses and toiletries, so it’s perfect for a short business trip.
s-p-c
Co-sign Lo & Sons – I take both the OMG and the Cambridge on many trips for this reason. I also have a small rolling bag that’s made to be a traveling briefcase (but that I find has plenty of space for clothes, etc.) that I use sometimes as the second bag with the OMG. Even for a week’s trip, these have worked out for me (as a light packer) and have avoided gate-checking thus far . . .
Purple
I’d get a specialty roller carry on that is smaller so that they’d fit (not the max 22″ ones). You could also do the expandable or luggage size Longchamp! I also have a great Herschel with separate shoe compartment that I use for overnights but I prefer rolling things to schlepping them on my back through airports.
ORD
I have a litigation bag with wheels, so like half the size of a normal carry-on suitcase and it fits under the seat, but STILL I have been on flights where the gate agents force me to gate check it, sometimes returned at the arrival gate but other times in baggage claim, adding much time to my trips. I also need to find a bag WITHOUT WHEELS for those “no wheels” gate agents. I wish they could be consistent because I pack medical equipment it’s such a pain to pull it out of my bag.
anon in sv
The bag carrying your personal medical equipment does not count as a carry on item, assuming that the bag fits carry-on size requirements. So, a bag with a bre@st pump is not one of your carry on bags. It has to be let onto the plane.
Mary Claire
I have this roller bag and it fits under the seat on almost all airplanes – I only had trouble once when the seat in front of mine had a metal utility box thing bolted underneath it. http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/travelpro-walkabout-3-15.5-rolling-carry-on-only-at-macys?ID=2584981&CategoryID=76877&LinkType=&selectedSize=#fn=BRAND%3DTravelpro%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D43%26ruleId%3D90|BS|BA%26slotId%3D18
For me it is sufficient for short trips; 3-4 days.
Baby steps on estate planning
DH and I are very early in our estate planning process can’t seem to decide how to go about choosing who should take custody of our child in the event of our death. I know if we were to die today, my parents would take our child, but it seems like we should be giving this more thought when we memorialize this in ink. My siblings range in age from elementary school to college, so none of them seem like logical choices. DH’s siblings are grown adults, but none seem to be in a position to take on an extra child. The one sibling that we gravitate toward is childless by choice, so we’re not sure they would be interested in the role.
How do we go about having the conversation without creating hurt feelings with the siblings that are not chosen? Obviously it’s not something we would announce at family Christmas, but I know for a fact everyone would know everything in a matter of days.
I imagine we could handle the issue by giving an order to operations. My parents have first dibs, followed by his parents, then Sibling #1, Sibling #2, etc. Am I just over thinking this?
Anonymous
Keep in mind that the person responsible for your children will change over time. You can update your will as your children get older. I really don’t understand why there would be hurt feelings or discussions about this? Right now, it makes sense for your parents to take them. When your kids are older and your parents are elderly, maybe one of your siblings will be responsible. I think you’re overthinking this and borrowing trouble.
Brighton
I only talked to the person who’d get the first call to make sure they were OK with that. Everyone else knows that they’re in the mix for it (say if we’re all on the same plane but for the kiddies).
Baby steps on estate planning
There were hurt feelings when we chose godparents for our son. It was bizarre considering none of DH’s siblings practice the religion my child was baptized in. After tons of phone tag my husband begrudgingly told the one they were an “honorary” godparent.
Anon in NYC
You’re deciding who is going to raise your child, if, god forbid, you and your husband die simultaneously. This is not the time to care about someone’s (petty) hurt feelings about not being a godparent. Who shares your values, who will love your kids as if he or she is their own, who can physically take care of your kids – these are the questions that you need to answer.
It might not be the most obvious choice. We chose a currently single, childless sibling over a married-with-2-kids sibling because the married sibling is a jerk to his parents. We couldn’t imagine how awful it would be for our families if we were to suddenly die and they had to deal with him to see our child.
Meg March
A godparent is not the same as a legal guardian in case of the parents’ death.
Anon
You are not overthinking this at all. It is a very important choice. My DH and I went through a similar process. We decided that both of our parents would likely be too old to care for our children until our children were adults- so we chose one of my sisters. My sisters are twins so this was particularly awkward. We asked the sister we chose if she would be willing to care for our children should something happen to us and asked that she not mention it to anyone else in the family. (I’m relatively sure she blabbed to our other sister- but neither of them have addressed it with me, so who knows.) Everyone in our family knows we have done estate planning but no one has asked and we haven’t told anyone who we chose.
You can definitely put conditions on who gets your children and when (my parents, if physically and mentally competent, or not above the age of X) and do 1., 2., 3., etc.
We also put provisions in there for grandparents to have reasonable visitation rights as well as my other sister and my DH’s sister.
Anon in NYC
I don’t think you need to explain why you chose some people and not others. We faced a difficult decision because neither sets of grandparents are really in a good situation to take care of our child, one sibling is too irresponsible, another sibling (the best positioned/most stable) is a jerk, and another sibling lives really far away from family. We decided to go with the sibling that lives really far away because she generally shares our values, is not a jerk, is responsible, and could always move closer.
We asked the sibling that we chose if she would be willing to take on this responsibility (and noted that we have plenty of life insurance, so kiddo should be financially taken care of). When she said yes, that was it. We didn’t tell the other siblings why they didn’t make the cut.
Anonymous
As only children, anyone have any experience about whether the ask is different of friends (vs siblings)?
Killer Kitten Heels
Not an only, but was asked by a friend (and said yes) – in some ways, I think the conversation is easier because you don’t have a sibling you’re “letting down” by not asking them, and this isn’t the kind of thing that comes up in casual conversation among friends (so the risk of others’ hurt feelings is lower). The hardest part for the friend who asked me was telling her parents (kiddo’s only grandparents), but she included visitation for grandparents in the will, and I’m already close with her parents so I don’t think there’s any real fear on their part that we’d deprive them of access to their grandkid if the worst were to happen.
The one thing that’s maybe a little different for friends is making sure you have your financial ducks more explicitly in a row – lots of life insurance, establishment of trusts/etc. that are consistent with how you want your estate to be accessed by kiddo over the course of his/her life (instead of the default, which is typically some kind of court-imposed trust followed by full access at 18), that sort of thing.
Also, be very, very open to hearing no, and don’t take it personally if you do – it doesn’t mean your friends love your or your kid any less if they’re not open to being guardians. Potential guardianship (no matter how hypothetical) is a huge responsibility, and it’s a good thing to have people who are thoughtful about it and won’t take the role lightly in your life.
anon
If you want to do an order of operations type thing, then there’s no need to tell the siblings what order they’re in vis a vis each other. I’d ask all of the grown and working siblings if they would be willing to consider it as a back up to your parents, no pressure, get back to us when you’ve have some time to think it over.
For 3rd anniversary
Poster from this morning asking about 3rd anniversary gifts, I was not the poster about the leather journals but I have used inblue and the shop was fantastic – great customer service, fast turnaround, great quality.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/inblue?ref=custom_order_convo
Lana
For those of you that plan to vote for HRC, what is your main reason that doesn’t involve discussing the horribleness of Trump? I’m planning to vote for her, but I sometimes struggle with articulating why to friends/family questioning my support. For reference, I live in a dark red state, but most of the people I interact with are both anti-Trump and uncomfortable with Clinton, including many of my more liberal friends who “just don’t trust her” (ugh).
Also I’m trying to pick a handle and digging through tv names, so if someone else uses this one, let me know and I’ll change.
MargaretO
I don’t really have a good reason but I’m very interested to hear what others have to say. My opinion is not really specific to her though, this is how I feel about every presidential elections (that I am picking the lesser of two evils).
Anonymous
Personally, it’s about women’s rights, gay rights and generally because I believe she has the experience and judgment to hold office. I believe her when at the convention she said that her life has been guided by the Methodist statement/prayer – I’m a pro-choice Christian and I believe sense of being called to serve that she has expressed.
To convince Republicans, the following are useful:
A list of all the Republicans who endorse Clinton (if your friends/family supported any of these, then perhaps that will help convince them – http://www.r4c16.org/endorsements/)
https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/07/22/why-republicans-should-vote-for-hillary-clinton/?utm_term=.7f36dfdce741
There’s also a good huffington post piece on why saying HRC isn’t ‘likable’ is BS.
Anonymous
Because “just not trusting her” is sexist nonsense. Because I have at least half a brain. Because I’m not an ignorant bigot. Honestly where to even begin?
Senior Attorney
Boy, amen to all of that. I get so ragey I have a hard time keeping it in…
Killer Kitten Heels
It’s a Supreme Court thing, for me – the Court’s decisions are likely to affect us for the rest of our lives, Supreme Court decisions are incredibly hard to change once they become the “law of the land,” the Court is teed up to tackle some really serious issues that will deeply affect the day-to-day lives of women, the LGBT community, and non-white people (and everyone, but try explaining that to cis-het white male Republicans). We know, pretty much for sure, that the Court’s swing seat is going to be appointed by the next president (although I suspect if HRC wins Republicans are going to rush Garland through in a heartbeat because if they don’t she’s likely to withdraw him and put forward someone they’ll like even less). So I’m voting for the person who will appoint justices who reflect what’s important to me. (Also, I like HRC, but this is my pitch to never-Trumps who are on the fence about voting for her.)
scotus
But if that’s the reason (and it’s a fine reason), then doesn’t that mean you would always vote for any democrat over any republican? I don’t think it’s an explanation for supporting Hillary as much as it’s an explanation for voting D over R– because any D is going to appoint justices more in line with these views than any R. That’s fine, but it doesn’t help convince anyone about Hillary. Further, for R’s who can’t stand Trump but don’t align with Hillary on policy, this would actually be more of a justification for them to vote Trump.
Killer Kitten Heels
Point taken, I was talking more about how I talk to people who are generally liberal but are having problems with voting for HRC specifically because she’s “unlikeable” or they “don’t trust her,” etc.
scotus
Makes sense– and I think that’s great rationale for someone who leans liberal. I have a similar problem as the OP where, in a red state, the judicial appointment rationale actually pushes them towards Trump. It’s really lose lose for conservatives at this point, I think.
Killer Kitten Heels
Can you console the conservatives with the fact that they’ll likely win Congress, so it’s not like HRC will get anything done anyway? :-P
Seriously though, I would think HRC held in hard check by a Republican Congress will bring us closer to the state of affairs the average conservative person is looking for than Trump set loose on an international stage. For example, I like not directly provoking other nations by basically admitting you’re not willing to give up the first-strike nuclear option, but that’s just me.
Lana
Yeah the judicial rationale often freaks people back over to the Republican side – though I do then try to remind them that Trump’s appointments would not necessarily be in line with their views either. I have been trying to console the conservatives with the Republican Congress and I think that gets through pretty well. However, so many people don’t understand how the two work together and check each other (which is scary to me).
long time lurker
Clinto is pro choice and will not appoint supreme court justices that take away that choice.
Clinton is for gay rights.
Clinton was a senator, and a secretary of state. She has actual diplomacy experience. As senator, she fought for the 9/11 first responders and their health care.
Clinton wants a fair tax system where the wealthy pay their share.
Clinton has been very clear on her policies. The reasons I’m voting for her:
Clinton is for early childhood education (universal pre school for 4 year olds, for one).
Clinton supports organized labor.
Clinton supports immigration reform with a pathway to citizenship.
Clinton wants to make the ACA better, not take it away.
Clinton does have a plan for ISIS and it involves working with our allies.
She’s made some missteps yes. She’s not smooth in terms of being a really engaging speaker like Obama. Maybe she is not “funny”. But she is a smart accomplished woman with years of experience and I believe she can do a good job. She is always prepared, has done her homework, and is ready.
Meg March
+1
Anonymous
She was an excellent Senator known for crossing the aisle to work with the party who just tried to have her husband impeached.
Anonymous
+1. except for organized labor. As a child of the heavily unionized north, I would be happy to carve that one out of her platform.
Anonymous
Because she’s smarter than me, better prepared than me, and I believe she wakes up every day ready to give her whole self to fighting for what is best for every American.
Lynnet
This, plus I think she’ll be incredibly effective in actually getting policy made into law.
KS IT Chick
I’ve been a big fan of HRC for years, and I was a delegate for her to the state nominating convention in 2008. I’m another deep red state Democrat, for what it is worth.
She is a smart, accomplished, thoughtful woman who has been successful at virtually everything she has done. Her 2008 platform was more liberal than Barak Obama’s, and on many issues she is more liberal than Bernie Sanders. She is counted as one of the most successful Secretaries of State in recent memory.
Everything she has ever been accused of that she actually did (no “Vince Foster” tin foil hatting) has been something that someone else, almost always male, has already done. In almost every case, they were either lauded for it or it passed by virtually unnoticed by the general public. Colin Powell & Condi Rice both had private email servers they used for work with the State Department; HRC’s just happened to be professionally managed. Her lost emails? Nothing compared to the hundreds of thousands lost by the GWB administration after 9/11. She happened to be really good at commodities futures trading, but that isn’t surprising, since she has been successful at virtually everything she has ever tried.
She really is one of the most qualified people to ever run for the office of the president. She has legislative & executive experience, and she has been an advocate for those without a voice across her entire professional life. Her life has been about service to others, all the while being dissected in the public view.
Everyone who knows the Clintons say that had she not married Bill Clinton, he would have been everyone’s favorite law professor at the University of Arkansas. She has enough professional ambition for both of them. But, isn’t that what this website & community are all about? Ambitious, high-achieving women?
nutella
Slow clap.
Also, I was all in for HRC a while ago even though I didn’t loooooooooove her because plain and simple, I’m not electing a BFF or life partner or comedian, I’m electing someone to get $hit done and I believe she has a record of doing so for the past 30+ years. As the conventions have gone on and we have learned more about her, I actually do like her and see every working woman, every single mother, every mentor admire in her — even my own mother. I think she is hardworking, I think she is courageous, I think she is very sharp, I think she is kind, I think she raised her daughter and did so well, I think she protects and advances children because she cares, I think she is pragmatic, I think she is effective and able to compromise when needed, I think she is even keeled, I think she is wise, I think she is made of steel to have gone through all that she has. I think she is imperfect and I think it is in those areas that people find her “not likeable” and I don’t get it.
I don’t have to like someone to think they’d be an effective and good President. I believe she will be both. And now I like her, which is just an added bonus.
I also am very much with her on certain issues but not on certain other issues. That’s ok; I don’t expect to agree with a candidate 100% on every issue. I may totally disagree on some or be a little more ambivalent on others. I vote for a candidate who will be effective in decisions in the general direction that is good for our country as a whole, good for our world, and good for me generally speaking. I believe Trump strikes out on all three of those points.
CHJ
I love HRC and I cannot wait to vote for her. Things I love about her – she is calm and steady under extreme pressure. Look at her during the raid on Bin Laden, during Congressional hearings, or even during the debate last week. She is able to hold her composure like no one I’ve ever seen. Given how volatile the world is right now and the very real threats that the president confronts on a daily basis, I think she will be able to govern with a steady, considered hand like few politicians could. She has been tested and attacked for decades, and yet she still remains unshakable. She is a remarkable person and an excellent person to be president in the modern world.
Also, check out the Ezra Klein profile of her from a few months ago, about how she listens. I think she will be (and already has been) an incredible diplomat.
anon-oh-no
I believe she is one of the most inspiring women in modern history. She has worked tirelessly her entire career for the underprivileged and less fortunate. She has made so much progress for women as she works to shatter the glass ceiling, all while subject to the very double standards she is working on breaking. She is making it possible for our daughters to do things we never could, and to think doing them is normal. She is making it so our sons won’t think “mansplaining” or “manterupting” is normal. And on and on.
Anonymous
Personally, it’s about women’s rights, gay rights and generally because I believe she has the experience and judgment to hold office. I believe her when at the convention she said that her life has been guided by the Methodist statement/prayer – I’m a pro-choice Christian and I believe sense of being called to serve that she has expressed.
To convince Republicans, the following are useful:
A list of all the Republicans who endorse Clinton (if your friends/family supported any of these, then perhaps that will help convince them – http://www.r4c16.org/endorsements/)
https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/07/22/why-republicans-should-vote-for-hillary-clinton/?utm_term=.7f36dfdce741
There’s also a good huffington post piece on why saying HRC isn’t ‘likable’ is BS.
More details please?
Can you explain your thoughts behind being a pro-choice Christian? I am not at all criticizing that but would like to understand it better. My understanding is that Christianity teaches life begins at conception, and it seems like abortion is contradictory to that belief. Can you tell me how you reconcile both perspectives?
Anonymous
I personally believe life begins at conception, and that abortion isn’t wrong until quickening. I believe it’s a last resort solution, and I believe in an all knowing all merciful God whose compassion knows no bounds. I believe if I got pregnant I’d have a baby.
I also believe that my religious beliefs are not everyone’s, that women are equal autonomous citizens, that they alone may determine what happens in their bodies, and as a wealthy woman I will always have a choice, so how dare I ever try and deny it to other women.
My church takes a nuanced view on the issue:
http://www.umc.org/what-we-believe/the-nurturing-community#abortion
Anonymous
Oh, and I’m a different anonymous.
SF Anon
The Episcopal Church also takes a nuanced view on abortion — saying that it is ok in extreme circumstances, but also opposing any efforts to restrict access. I was very comforted by a former priest’s statement that abortion is a decision that is made by a woman in the context of her relationship with God. In other words, the church can’t answer for you — you should make the decision based on prayer and consideration.
Aunt Jamesina
Not the OP, but abortion isn’t mentioned in any way in the Bible, so different churches are going to interpret passages and view abortion quite differently. For me, “sanctity of life” means bringing life into the world when it’s wanted, and respecting the life of the mother. I also know many Christians who are personally against abortion, but are pro-choice because they don’t feel it’s morally right and/or practical to legislate against it.
Prior to the twentieth century, abortion was widely practiced in the US without being considered a moral issue that churches took position on– the line of when you could abort with a free conscience was prior to “quickening” (when you could feel movement from the fetus). The idea of life beginning at a certain point has taken on a lot of different meanings in recent decades with the advent of medical technology that allows us to see more about a developing embryo.
Anon
You might consider reading “Sacred Work” by Tom Davis – it’s about clergy support for Planned Parenthood. Not all Christians consider abortion morally wrong or even just a political necessity.
I’m a pro-choice Christian (with two graduate degrees in theology) and I believe that women should not be forced to become mothers, full stop. Adoption is not for everyone and has been used to coerce young women into continuing pregnancies and having babies taken from them. I (obvs) fully support all kinds of contraception and access to same.
Something to consider is that if late-term abortion becomes unavailable, then women with desperate medical need, often because of terrible fetal problems incompatible with life that are not diagnosed until the second or even third trimester, will have no one to turn to and nowhere to go.
I would pay for the abortion, for any reason, of my teenaged daughter or any of her friends if it became necessary. Or any women who approached me with that need. Forced motherhood is an abomination.
OP Anon
Basically everything that has been said by the other posters. The state should not dictate what a woman does with her body nor should the state enforce religious beliefs. If I ever consider ending a pregnancy, that is between me and God. It is unchristian and unmerciful to impose on another woman’s relationship with God by taking that choice away from her. See also out hopefully future VP Tim Kaine for another pro-choice Christain. Pro-choice does not mean that you personally want an abortion, it means that you believe the state should respect that a woman’s right to choose.
tazdevil
I have a hilarious mansplanation/manterruption tale to share with you guys! I was at a meeting today with some senior executives and my slimy male junior coworker, who has decided some while back that his career track runs straight over my cold dead body.
Company is in tech, very male dominated but some great women in C-Level positions (and I don’t mean HR or PR!) who look out for the junior female staff. We had the meeting to discuss how to deal with a certain legal issue that will become public in the near future. Slimy boy, who loves nothing as much as the sound of his own voice spend a couple of minutes engaging in corporate- speak word salad “put our head together for a win-win “situations….this calls for teamwork guys…leverage our international standing….blah, blah, blah..”. You get the picture. After he was finished with his bout of verbal m@$trub@ti0n, I mentioned the fact that several other company who are members of our trade association have had the same problem with government regulators, and would be happy to speak to my old boss (who is now an executive at the trade association) about . This got the female GC and female CFOs attention and they crowded around me to hear more of my proposed solution, and Slimy Boy, who could not stand not to be the center of attention tried to speak over me. I did not heed his interruption and kept speaking to the ladies, and the CFO motioned for us to go into the ladies room to continue the discussion. After the three of us got into the ladies room, I heard the door open, and it appeared that Slimy Boy was so desperate to be part of the conversation, that he had cone into the ladies room.
He started bloviating again until the GC said “Slimy Boy, I believe the little boy’s room is next door”, upon which he turned beet red and fled!
Trolls
Troll blocker not working today? Come on.
NYNY
Ha! Love it.
Sharp
HAHHAA yesssss
Anonymous
Amazing!!
Anonymous
Wait am I reading this right? your gc and cfo ran into the restroom instead of telling a junior guy to just shut the f up? This story makes me kind of embarrassed for all 4 of you…
Anonymous
Yeah this seems completely ridiculous and not true.
Anonymous
+1 seems made up.
As they say, cool story, bro… er, sis.
lawsuited
Have a talk with the sibling you’re gravitating towards, but it hardly needs to be a family-wide discussion. I doubt siblings not “chosen” will be offended or upset, and presumably whomever you chose would allow all the siblings on your side and DH’s side will have the option of helping, mentoring and supporting your child if they wished. If your parents are young enough to get your child past the goalposts of high school into college, they may still be a good option.
And you probably are overthinking it. In my jurisdiction, the choice of guardian named in a will is only binding for 90 days, after which family courts appoint a guardian based on the best interests of the child (although they do take deceased parents’ wishes into account).
lawsuited
Meant for Baby steps on estate planning.
HSAL
Does anyone have the Athleta SoftTech dress? I’m very interested but it’s final sale and wondered if anyone had thoughts on it.
Wildkitten
I love Athleta dresses, generally.
Anon Midwest
I second Wildkitten. I don’t believe I have that specific dress, but I have so many of their dresses.
Anonymous
I feel like there’s a Zika question here every d*mn day, so apologies in advance…but what would you do if your husband was asked to travel to a Zika zone for work right around the time you’re planning to start TTC? I wouldn’t think twice if not for our TTC plans (I am not an alarmist and I know Zika is not harmful to people who are not pregnant), but with the recent CDC recommendation that men wait six months after last possible exposure to conceive, I’m a little worried. I feel like I should follow the CDC guideline but I also feel like pushing back our TTC plans six months so DH can take a business trip is a little crazy…and he travels internationally fairly frequently for work, so even if we pushed back our plans for six months because of this trip, six month later another trip could come along that makes us do the same thing again. But I also feel like having him ask his employer if he can not go is kind of crazy (and involves sharing our family planning with his employer, which is probably less harmful for men than women but still…ick). WWYD?
Anonymous
Have him tell his employer he can’t go. But first I’d make sure you’re talking some place with active local zika transmission according to the CDC not like, omg but bugs it could come to North Carolina.
OP
It’s not North Carolina, which I definitely wouldn’t worry about. It’s a South American country on the CDC list and a very low-lying part of the country that’s not above the altitude that’s free of mosquitoes. But I don’t know that there’s Zika in that specific part of the country. Beyond their country list, the CDC doesn’t offer a whole lot of guidance and I assume it varies a lot depending on location within the country, just like Miami isn’t safe but LA is. But I also don’t really trust public health authorities in those countries, so I’m not sure where I can really get a clear answer.
Anonymous
Then I’d say it is a clear no. He tells his employer he can’t go.
Purple
Not to take the fun out of TTC, but what if he made a donation to be held for when the timing is right and you can use that to make babies?
caveat: don’t know much about zika, nor am I a medical or public health professional.
Um
Because that way is infinitely more expensive and invasive than the usual gardening method…?
anon
Well it seems like a decent option if the business trip is really critical to his career. But there’s no way I would go through this process just so my husband didn’t have to have risk an uncomfortable conversation with his boss. See also our conversation yesterday re: men can get out of obligations without giving apologies or excuses. It’s perfectly possible that husband will say, sorry boss I can’t make that trip, and boss will just say OK without asking why.
Anonymous
I’m pretty sure you can get tested for Zika. So he could go on the trip, come home and get a test. If the test is negative, you TTC as planned. If it’s positive you postpone TTC. That’s probably what I would do. Odds are pretty low you would actually have to postpone TTC.
Meredith Grey
Talk to a Dr. I was told in a travel clinic by a Dr. who works on this area that there is actually*not* a commercially available test. Apparently there would be major bureaucratic hoops to jump through in order to get tested and would really only be feasible via the CDC if you GET pregnant and DH was in Zika zone. And since you specifically asked, if I was TTC in your time frame, I would ask/tell DH not to go.
Mary Claire
How important is this trip for his career? I probably wouldn’t ask my partner to give it up unless it is really insignificant and just have him take all reasonable precautions.
January
Can you or he ask a doctor? A doctor may have a better idea of what the risk truly is, and I’d probably rather be acting on an informed opinion before making a consequential decision (whether that’s declining a business trip or postponing family plans).
Newbie Associate
Anyone here have a Casper mattress? Any other recommendations for a good mattress like it? I’ve read so many reviews and cannot decide. I tried it at West Elm and liked it, but not sure since the model was a twin and I’m looking at a King (relevant for reviews that complained about the corners being too soft, etc.).
I do not like soft mattresses (probably prefer something at around 6 or 7/10 on the firmness scale).
Sharon
I have a queen size Casper mattress. We had a Beautyrest before, which was killing both my and my spouse’s backs. The corners are definitely soft. The mattress itself is medium firmness.
It is WAY heavier than a regular mattress (if you have to move it at some point). It has held up well for the past year we’ve had it. I do like that you can return it within 100 days if it doesn’t work out for you.
AZCPA
I have a Leesa, which is quite similar in both materials and how it is sold. Mine is a king, and I completely love it. No motion transfer. Firm, but comfortably so. I don’t feel like the corners or edges are overly soft. I chose the Leesa over the Casper because they sleep cooler anecdotally, and I’m always too warm. My best friend has a king-sized Casper and she loves it as well. Since both come with a 100 night guarantee, give it a shot. However, make sure you purchase directly from the company – through Amazon, the return policy is limited.
Tips for Jeans?
Every pair of pants -especially jeans- wears out in the inner thigh. It happened when I was a size 2 as a kid, now it happens as a woman in size 14. Is there anything that can be done to prevent it other than to either patch the inside when it wears holes or keep replacing them? I tend to struggle to find well-fitting jeans (super hourglass shape plus short) so when I find one pair that fits well, I wear them almost exclusively (maybe 3-4x/week), they end up wearing out about every 4-5 months! Any suggestions are welcomed!
Anonymous
Buy a second pair at the same time and alternate?
Anon
+1
When I finally find a pair of pants that fit, I always buy multiple colors or even two of the same color. For me, it is mostly work pants (usually buy at least 3 pairs).
Meg Murry
Yes, this is the only real option I’ve found. Sometimes if I’ve waited a month to see how the pants hold up before buying a second pair I can get a deal on the second/replacement pair by checking ebay, etc. But even with a couple of pairs in rotation, I count myself lucky if they last more than 1 year – 9-18 months is more typical for me, and anything that lasts 2 years only does so because I don’t like it enough to wear it very often.
Not sure if it actually helps or is just a placebo, but if I can catch it when it’s just starting to get thin or just starting a tiny hole, fabric seam glue like Fray Check can keep it from getting worse, at least for a little while.
It’s super annoying, but I’ve just accepted that my pants have to wear out somewhere first, and for me that’s the inner thigh. For I while I thought it had to do with fabric with added stretch (usually spandex) but even my 100% cotton will wear our in the inner thigh first, it just tends to rip all of a sudden instead of wear thin holes first.
Parfait
I would like to know the answer to this too.