Gift Idea: Under Desk Treadmill

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1. What are your favorite things from Glossier? I may have to buy some Ultralip sometime soon…

   1. I like the boy brow and rose balm dotcom. Recently got them in a multi-pack with the moisturising primer and used that as a moisturiser when travelling – it felt light and I think I’ll use it under makeup when I (rarely) wear it.
      I think I underestimated how much better using boy brow makes my eyebrows look, so now I use that even when doing very light makeup.

      1. +1 boy brow. It’s a surprising MVP. The cloud paint is also great – sheer cheek color that’s perfect for when I don’t want to put on full makeup but want to brighten my face a bit.

         1. I’ve been wanting to buy Boy Brow for a long time but how do you pick out the color? There are no Glossier stores near me. Do you just wing it?

   2. I love their tubing mascara (and I’ve tried a bunch), cloud paint, and boy brow (though I use a heavier brow product for zoom calls). I recently tried their very light concealer and like it as well. More and more of my very expensive Sephora favorites are being replaced by Glossier.

      I’ve been less impressed with their liquid eyeliner and the skincare products I’ve tried.

   3. I’ve used the milky jelly cleanser and boy brow for years. I usually order one other random thing when I order from them and nothing has blown me away yet, though I do like the future dew serum for mixing with foundation when my skin is a little dry.

   4. Bit of a fangirl – I really like a lot of their stuff. Love their Milky Jelly cleanser, Boybrow, Lidstar in Fawn, Wowder, Haloscope, Cloudpaint, and perfume. Their Generation G lipstick in Like is literally the perfect “my lips but better” color and formula, but I hate the tube because it breaks. I haven’t found a good dupe so I just resign myself to buying multiple a year.

      Products I tried and did not repurchase: Lashslick (too subtle), Stretch Concealer & Perfecting Skin Tint (not enough coverage), Pro Tip (no better than drugstore options), Balm.com and facial spray (just felt kind of pointless…)

2. I’m interested in this treadmill. Anyone tried any of these? I struggle to get walks in and think this might be worth it for conference calls.

   1. I have one! it’s the rhythm fit one from amazon but I found it used on fb marketplace. I used it a ton for big conference calls where I know I won’t have to speak and it helps a ton with getting steps in!

   2. I really, really like the idea of walking on calls but am worried it would be too noisy. Our normal treadmill is really nice and even at a slow walk it’s loud. I wonder how quiet something for $350 could be?

      Most of my job is writing and editing, so I don’t think it would work well for that. Any sort of bounce is going to kill your eyesight. But I’d love to be proven wrong.

      1. I write and edit a ton for my job, and I can’t even handle a standing desk. Ha. So a treadmill walk is definitely out!

      2. I use one and it hasn’t strained my eyes at all (it maxes out at 2 mph)

   3. I sometimes see people in video calls who are obviously waking on a treadmill, and I find their head bobbing up and down VERY distracting. I think this works best if you’re not on video…

3. NEED YOUR HELP!

   No word yet from Dream Job so I’ve decided I didn’t get it but that this is a blessing in disguise because the not getting it means I am dodging a nightmare coworker (this is to help me emotionally feel better, even though I logically know that no news is just no news). So now I need help describing everything wrong with this imaginary nightmare coworker.

   Please help by adding attributes of a horrible coworker.

   So far, I am picturing that it’s a cishet white dude who never responds to emails but expects immediate responses to his emails, makes bro jokes mid-meeting, talks over women and takes credit for their ideas, is a Kanye fan, and thinks there are very good people on both sides. I’ve also decided that he microwaves fish (even though this is a remote position) and has BO and overuses Axe body spray and says that all assertive women must be on their periods.

   What other attributes can we give him?

   1. He arranges happy hours for the guys in the office. No women are invited — not that you’d want to go to the dive bar they go to and watch them hit on the wait staff.
      Refers to his SO as “the wife” or maybe “the ball and chain.”

      1. And in 20 years she be referred to ironically as “the boss” whenever he’s describing a minor domestic decision that is hers to make.

      2. After happy hour they’re going to the “gentleman’s club” to only tip $1.

   2. He tells you that people need to stop keeping score in relationships, and that was the problem in his last three marriages. When a man comes home from work, he wants to relax after a hard day. What is so bad about that?

   3. Screams when anything does not go his way.

      Uses demeaning nicknames for women coworkers.

      Loses his mind when your work product is anything short of perfection, but is not even marginally competent in his own role.

      Also gets angry and belligerent when you do a good job, because he knows he sucks.

      Trash talks people behind their backs.

      Tells HR that he thinks you are mentally ill and asks for strategies for dealing with you. That way, when you finally make a call to inform HR of the bullying, harassing nightmare you have endured, they chalk it up to your “mental illness.”

      Has his SAHW handle all of the household tasks, so acts like you are a delinquent worker if you need to take your cat to the vet.

      1. that last one UUUUUUGH.

      2. That second last one *shudders* . . . yea, it’s the manipulative nonsense guy that will be your nightmare for sure.

   4. Oh yikes I saw your boy Trad (I’ve named him) out with the boys last weekend. They asked their waitress to sit with them and when she wouldn’t they tipped 10%.
      One of my friends used to work with him back when he was in banking, and he actually plagiarised a pitch deck from his old employer and got fired because the client’s consultant recognised it.
      I heard that if you do get the job he’s going to quit in protest of reverse-sexism because he recommended his boy Toff for it.

      1. That’s wow that you said that, he was named Chad in my head but I was afraid this would turn into a “my son is named Chad and he’s lovely and you’re terrible” so I didn’t name him here haha

         I’ve also decided that he is someone who asks every woman when she’s due if she wears anything that doesn’t require 3 pairs of spanx and he is someone who plays EDM music and rolls his eyes at anyone who asks him to turn it down (which is everyone).

         PLEASE keep this going, this is truly helpful and making my day so much!

      2. Trad also asks for the women in groups to arrange meetings. Because he’s too busy to learn how to look at peers calendars in Outlook.
         Also, if you talk to Trad and he walks away with action items necessary to progress a project, you have to email him a recap on the items you are expecting to document the discussion. Because when those items go un-done, he’ll gaslight you publicly that you misunderstood him and it was your action, and then he’ll complain to your manager and team about the delays in progress on that project.

         1. Too real

         2. Geez. I am literally teeing up an email right now to follow up on a meeting I didn’t organize in order to make sure that Trad does his action items, so his delay is not blamed on my team.

      3. When you’re speaking and take a few seconds to catch your breath or double-check something in your file, Trad starts talking.

         Trad does this at least once per meeting.

   5. He starts every sentence with “Well, actually…”

      1. Riddle: Where do mansplainers get their water?

         1. I think I know. ;)

            My favorite: How did the mansplainer drown in a puddle?…. It was a “well, actually”

            1. Hah!

   6. He invites you to a client pitch only because you are a woman and the client decision maker is a woman. He yells at you and the rest of the team but is overly nice to the client. He makes you take an unnecessary business trip shortly after you return from maternity leave, while you are still pumping. And he comes along because he’s bored and needs a file to bill to. He tells you to go home for a weekend during trial and then complains to everyone that you went home. He gets visibly upset when you speak to his client at a charity event that he demanded you attend because his female client will be attending. He trash talks about a former coworker who left the office during the day to read to their kid’s kindergarten class. He tells the same stories over and over about the glory days of the mid 1980s. He talks about his dating life, in detail.

      1. You worked with that dude too….

      2. Forgot a few: goes to Burning Man every year. Tells stories about his experiences at Burning Man. Talks about how edgy he is. Wears a bow tie.

      3. Wow. I did not realize so much of this was not just one-off experiences I have had…

         One addition: he expects you to have an HDMI cord for his computer (different model than yours) and berates you in open court that you didn’t pack a spare technology bag with different cord options and spare USB drives. He is unwilling to use your computer because he isn’t used to that model.

   7. He compulsively clips finger and toe nails during zoom meetings.

   8. Rather than staying in his office for conference calls, he takes them while strutting around the office and barking into his airpods.

      Likes to invite male peers on client golf outings; never considers another client activity or including women.

      Oh, you have a hobby? He does that hobby too but is an expert at it and has all the super-high-end professional accessories.

      1. He knows you are a golfer but doesn’t invite you to client golf. Instead he invites two non-golfer dudes. And then tells you about the fun time they had.

   9. Keto.

      1. Teases the one unmarried staffer by calling her “Mrs. [Boyfriend’s Last Name].” (has never met said boyfriend, and staffer does not bring him up very often.)

         Spends 3 hours on the phone conferenced with the internet service provider and his SAHW who is watching the grandkids and can’t figure out how to get Paw Patrol back. All this at a client site.

      2. (Double post for bad word and forgot one!)

         Teases the one unmarried staffer by calling her “Mrs. [Boyfriend’s Last Name].” (has never met said boyfriend, and staffer does not bring him up very often.)

         Spends 3 hours on the phone conferenced with the internet service provider and his SAHW who is watching the grandkids and can’t figure out how to get Paw Patrol back. All this at a client s!te. At lunch that same day, unironically remarks how technology-addicted we all are compared to him.

         Laughs in his sleeve at all the female clients, even the ones who know their stuff, for being too “uptight” when he finds errors that aren’t there.

      3. Definitely keto and he will tell you all about his Crossfit routine too. And yes he definitely microwaves fish.

         I think we’ve all worked with Trad in his previous roles.

      4. Don’t forget the Crossfit.

         1. You know he wouldn’t let me.

            1. LOL!

      5. Did he tell you about how he’s counting macros yet?

         1. regularly updates the whole office on his new habit of eating 6 hardboiled eggs for breakfast. yes, it affects his consistency.

            1. Omg I thought only I had worked with this one.

         2. He’s on to intermittent fasting now.

   10. Your manager thinks Chad is a straight shooter with upper management potential and suggests you ask him for help on core elements of your job.

       (so sorry- I was rooting for you!)

       1. When you give your boss a heads up that Trad keeps trying to change your joint project in ways that are unworkable, illegal, or both, management tells you that you “have to figure out how to solve this personality conflict”.

   11. Trad: Are you working on the X project? – pause –

       You: Yes, I just

       Trad: -interrupting – because I was thinking how I’d do it is the Y way, how I’ve done it before. It was always great that way -pause-

       You: I’m incorporating some of

       Trad: And it was always very well-received, and I’ve seen it referenced in several articles, though not by name. But it’s your project now. That’s why they hired you. Because I’m so busy with some pretty major things. – pause –

       You: Thanks, I’d better

       Trad: Let me know if you need any help with it, because I have all the experience. I appreciate you helping out on it this year.

       You: This is my field of

       Trad: Just stop by any time.

       1. Ha! I totally work with this guy and it is so out of the norm for my organization. This is hilarious and makes me feel so much better.
          The fun thing about it is that I am an executive so very senior to him but you’d think he has WAY more experience than me.

   12. He agrees you’re going to take the lead during a meeting. Five minutes into the meeting, he cuts in and says, “Not to hijack the meeting, but…” then proceeds to rephrase what you JUST SAID.

       1. The accuracy. I had a male co-counsel pull this crap on my in a big deposition years ago and I still remember the fury.

          1. +1000

   13. His online dating app says he’s a feminist, not because he is one but because *he laughingly tells you* it’s the only way to get girls into bed these days. He tells people at the office that women over 21 shouldn’t wear certain items (and by that he means anything not a sack) then tells any woman wearing anything that isn’t body con that she’ll never find a husband dressing like that.

       He proudly says that the whole pronouns thing is stupid and refuses to not call the tr@ns colleague by her name, yet gets incensed that he is called Chad and not Chadwick, which he makes sure you know is a family name as he was named after his grandfather, who held some clearly racist type role like tobacco tycoon or something and then he tells you stories about growing up spending summers at Grandpappy’s (which you just know was on a family owned plantation somewhere) and if you point out the racism, he tells you he’s not like that, he was always very nice to the help (whose names he of course doesn’t know).

       1. Just going to say that Chad not Chadwick implies the existence of Trad not Tradwick, and be on my way. ;)

          1. I know we have “gardening” and DTMFA and FOOEY and blue nail polish and unprofessional water bottles. I humbly suggest that every dude who fits into any of these be referred to as a Tradwick.

             Literally having my day made by this conversation, thank you everyone!!

             (No email today and we’re past EOD here. My only hope is that either they’re behind in the process or the first choice declines and I’m 2nd choice or something. But I’ll start searching for similar roles next week.)

             1. I accept the permanent dubbing of these duds Tradwick.

             2. Agreed. Tradwick is now part of corporette lingo.

       2. Although he tells women wearing non-body con clothes that they’ll never get a husband, he calls any woman wearing body con clothes a sl*t.

   14. In a meeting, he starts a sentence with, “Well, there’s not much to say on this,” but then still proceeds to talk about whatever this is for 15 minutes.

   15. Trad has 30 years of experience in a different field, which means he gives you advice in your field, in which he has zero experience. Trad wants you to make copies for him because “this thing has too many buttons.” Trad cannot standardize the font size within a document. Trad really impressed your boss’s boss’s boss but cannot answer a single question you ask him.

   16. He takes all his calls on speaker phone while leaned back and his feet on the desk.

       1. Oh this is typical Trad.

   17. he gets starbucks every morning, while on his phone, and when he has to pause his conversation to speak to the barista (because, you know, he has to place his order) he treats the barista like she is wasting his time. there is an audible frustrared sigh and sometimes a comment to the person he is on the phone with if the barista has to speak to him more than once.

4. I don’t really do holidays due to no bio fam but I want to be mindful of societal expectations and kindness and not accidentally offending someone by missing one.

   I live in an apartment complex in a HCOL city which has 30ish buildings of rentals and a main office. I’ve lived here for 3 months. I’ve had a ton of problems since moving in which has meant almost daily engagement with the 2 office staff and 2 maintenance staff.

   I’m used to NYC where tipping doorpeople and front desk staff is standard. Am I supposed to gift to these 4? I hadn’t planned to know them at all but since it’s been so much interaction, I feel like maybe… but then the reason I know them is because of problems (repairs not done before moving in, things breaking, etc.) and I don’t feel like that’s a reason to reward as it’s their job not kindness but also if it’s standard, I don’t want to be the stingy one either.

   If I AM supposed to gift in some way, what is appropriate? (I don’t have anyone in my life who provides a service to gift for, as I don’t have home staff, use whatever strip mall place is near when I need a quick haircut, etc. so I’m at a loss.)

   1. Can you ask a neighbor if tipping is usual? Or… did you use a real estate agent to find the place originally? That person might know what’s customary.

      I might compromise with a basket of goodies for the office to share. But then again, if everybody did that it would be ridic.

      1. Don’t know any neighbors and found it via an apartment dot com listing. Office outside looks like it has a holiday wreath on it but I typically just email with or phone with the 2 in the office. The 2 maintenance guys are in my unit often.

         Part of me feels like, if the job was done correctly before my move-in, I’d never have had any interaction after I moved in and wouldn’t even think about this. However, I know they work hard and they have been pretty on top of fixing the problems and I want to keep goodwill with them.

         Gift basket? Card with a $25 am@zon gift card per person? Nothing because that’d seem like bribery or weirdness or flashing big deal type of money or lifestyle that I don’t actually have?

         1. Normally I would say don’t tip because they are doing their job and it’s not your fault your apartment has so many issues. However, unfortunately you may continue to have issues. Give them a very nice card with a hand written note and as much cash as you can reasonably give! I know it’s kind of a selfish motive but they’ll definitely remember you if you tip well.

            1. I would not do cash, especially outside of NYC where this kind if cash exchange is not the norm. I would do a card and a plate of cookies or some other little goodie they could enjoy. Or swing by their office on your way to a coffee shop and offer to grab drinks for everyone, dropping them off with a thanks for al your help and happy holidays as you depart.

   2. When I left NYC and moved to another city I tried to tip our building maintenance worker and he was REALLY offended so YMMV

      1. I tend to think “skip it.” I’m in So Cal and it’s not usual here. Also when people expect tips here they tend to make it really obvious, like a nice cheery Christmasy note with their names and addresses, or even self-addressed envelopes.

   3. For buildings where tipping is customary, staff usually makes it pretty obvious. Like, management sends out an email about how to contribute to the group fund, or there’s a flyer under everyone’s door, etc.

   4. In California this is Not a Thing. If you’re particularly friendly with a worker, maybe cookies or treats, but that’s all that’s expected.

      1. +1 – this is an occasion for consumables.

   5. Box of fancy pears from Harry and David, with a note bearing your full name.

5. What are your grey hair tips?

   Most interested in folks who do not color treat their hair, but are trying to age with their grey but are struggling with the changes in texture/fly-aways/color changes. Want to keep looking polished, and feel that even with a good haircut, my hair could be better.

   My hair is very fine and straight. I use a purple shampoo that helps the brassiness. I am also trying to avoid damaging my aging hair, which is thinning a lot, so avoiding chemicals/heat.

   1. I have curly hair so YMMV but I just did my first Olaplex #3 treatment and really felt it helped with frizzy/flyaways and even made my hair look a bit darker overall. Might give that and silk pillowcases a try.

   2. I switched to using olive oil bar soap as shampoo and only doing that 2x a week. On the other days, I use a very light conditioner to “wash” my hair with (the Aveda rosemary one). It sounds weird, but using the conditioner gets rid of the excess oil on days that I don’t shampoo but doesn’t make it too greasy. That got rid of my flyaway problem.

   3. I find that when I get a lot of frizz, it means my hair needs moisture. Protein treatments don’t help at all, so olaplax or anything with keratin are out. I’ve been loving Briogeo’s avocado & kiwi mask, which I use 2-3 times/month. Also, straight-up oil can help. I have some squalene oil that didn’t cooperate with my face, but my hair loves it. I’ll rub a little bit between my palms and run over my hair, rubbing a little extra on the ends.

      I’ve found that what works changes over time. My go-to products at 43 don’t work for me ten years on. Be open to changing it up over time.

   4. Get an intentionally edgy haircut. I get way more compliments on my short, edgy do (from both men & women) than I ever received before going grey. Go with bold lip color. IMO, if your hairstyle is the same as it’s always been and you don’t have a pop of color somewhere (for me it’s lips), you can very quickly move into frump territory.

      1. I am the same. My lips need a bolder colour with my silver streaks now.

   5. I really like this product which I found randomly at Sephora: https://www.sephora.com/product/color-wow-one-minute-transformation-anti-frizz-styling-cream-P469139

   6. I use sulphate free shampoo, blow dry and use a hair mask weekly. Trim ends every two months. I love my natural silver and black hair.

   7. Bold lips.
      Blush.
      Strong brows
      I love wearing colour.

6. i’m going to try to get into barre or pilates to help my posture and alignment. Can anyone suggest a BABY beginner intro series on YouTube or something? With barre my problem is that I can’t go up on my toes at all, and with both pilates and barre my problem is zero core strength and zero balance. So I’m really starting from zero.

   1. I recommend The Sculpt Society by Megan Roup. She has an entire beginner section (called slow and controlled). It does not require going on your toes at all, and will definitely help your core strength.

   2. This is from Fitness Blender and searching “easy barre” https://youtu.be/MneYxp4fqw0 It has zero toe stuff! Hope it’s a good place to start! I just did it in solidarity with you!

   3. Pilates is wonderful for posture when done correctly, but I strongly recommend not starting at home. For pilates to work you really need to have proper form and that is going to be difficult to do as a beginner with a video. I started doing pilates years ago at a modern studio with group classes and enjoyed it, but I didn’t get the full posture benefits until I started taking private and small group sessions in a classic pilates studio. Even now as an an intermediate student I don’t feel like I get a great experience at home. I cannot say enough about pilates; it has transformed my posture and body.

      1. Same advice to give here. Especially with a weak core to start – which is where I started about a year and a half ago.
         I think starting with reformer classes is a really good place to start versus doing matwork at home. Having the support and assistance of the machine is great for beginners. After my first class I felt like i got all the benefits of a yoga class with all the benefits of a weightlifting class.

         1. I agree with this. But if for various reasons you really want/need something online, I like Kara Duval Pilates. She has a subscription model but a free trial period.

   4. I would recommend going into an actual barre studio (I’m partial to Barre3 because they really focus on modifying to your skill level) and tell the instructor exactly all of this. A good instructor will provide modifications for postures and movements that will fit your needs and can also make sure that you’re doing things correctly and targeting the right areas!

7. Paging Anon from this morning asking about endometrial ablation! If you haven’t already, ask your doctor for an ultrasound to check for fibroids. Depending on the location and size, an ablation may not be enough to solve the problem.

8. PSA since I know there are other Fresh lovers here – they are doing 50% off a bunch of faves including the soy face wash.

9. Oh wow you and I are living the same life in parallel, I think. Because this happens to me almost every day and man, am I tired of it. Are you tired of it? I am tired of it.

10. sorry for posting twice!

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