Unitude is a new brand to me, but this briefcase looks fabulous — I love the flap top, the multiple interior pockets, and the adjustable shoulder strap. It’s also nice that it fits most 13″ laptops. It’s unusual to find a stylish, well-made real leather bag for this affordable a price, so wow — it’s $99. (Black is sold out, alas, but this flap closure handbag is almost as big as the pictured briefcase.) The briefcase has a ton of great reviews on the site, but readers, I’d love to hear from you if you have a Unitude bag… Pictured: Unitude Briefcase
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Anon
I know many of us have concerns about how much packing waste online shopping produces and fuel it takes to deliver things. Any suggestions for getting retailers to ship smarter, not faster? Are there any online movements toward such a thing? Amazon Prime has the option where you can group items, but I don’t know of any other retailer that does.
I ordered 14 items from J.Crew Factory on Monday (with the basic free shipping that I qualified for), and they have mailed them out in 6 different shipments on 3 different days. The environmental cost for that is unnecessarily poor. Sure, there are things you need Right This Minute, but I could have waited til the end of the week for my cardigans, Factory.
Anon
My primary option is to see if the items I am looking at are available at a local store and going to pick it up during another trip (to save gas burn). Amazon also gives the option to delay shipping and ship in as few boxes as possible.
Anonymous
Not sure but this is why i’ve tried to buy less in general and particularly cut back on online shopping and I avoid meal delivery services.
I would love it if companies offered a box to tick at check out that said ‘ship all my items together’ so that they would know to hold and ship together. That said, when there are multiple shipments it is sometimes because items are coming from different locations.
Anononon
+1
I don’t think there’s much choice but to buy less and buy in person. Since I stopped shopping at Amazon, I’ve realized I don’t really need a lot of the things I thought I did.
Anononon
And takeout/delivery is the worst.
Anon
Exactly. There’s a reason REDUCE is the first of the 3 R’s.
tesyaa
Not all of the items are necessarily originating in the same physical location, right?
Lana Del Raygun
FWIW they may be coming from different warehouses, but I agree about shopping in person as much as you can.
Ellen
Me too. That is why I was so sad when Lord and Taylor closed their store on 5th Avenue. I have no good substitute, and Nordstrom’s will be to much of a hike for me to do at lunch and still be back in 2 hours. FOOEY! I now must do all of my in person shopping at Bloomies, since I can now go back in. On weekends with Rosa, I still go up to White Plains b/c they have a Nordstrom’s there! YAY!!
JTM
Usually when you checkout, you have the ability to check a box that says “bundle my items into as few shipments as possible”. I know Target & Amazon do. You may have to hunt a bit to find it on the checkout page.
When you get multiple shipments its because the items are coming from multiple places.
Idea
Not a cure-all but let the retailer know.
ThredUp has an option that they will hold your package for you for a week to see if you want to add anything to it, for example, rather than sending multiple packages the same week.
The other day I went to grocery store and after scouring for plastic jar, I bought my favorite pickled jalepenos in a glass jar. Then I emailed the retailer and let them know that since glass recycling has been discontinued in my area, I’d prefer if they could produce the same quality product in a recyclable plastic jar. I just got an email back that they’re trying to do that. I’m sure my email has less than 1% influence, but I feel better.
Anon
At the same time, there are people requesting glass everything because they fear chemicals in plastic.
Anon
Wait what happened to glass recycling? I thought glass was preferred.
Anon
Glass recycling is being discontinued in a lot of areas.
Global markets are no longer accepting the glass (and many types of plastic). The glass is usually highly contaminated (people don’t wash it enough), and broken glass becomes embedded in other recyclable
idk
Idk but my area won’t recycle glass, either. I’m sure there’s a reason, but it’s very frustrating.
Anon
China stopped buying our used glass. The market for recycled glass has dried up.
Anon
– Buy less things in general
– If it is a grocery item, I buy it in my local retail store. If it is something not available in local grocery store, then I order enough to last for a year.
– Check if it can be bought in local brick and mortar store. You can go to shop’s website and see if that item is available in physical store closer to you. Many store provide price match with amazon or the price difference is not much
– Reuse the packaging materials. Open the packages carefully and reuse the packaging materials for something else.
– I have never done this, but if you can get the item to be shipped to store, it may have less carbon footprint than delivering it as a separate shipment to your house. You can pick it up on your way to work or your next regular run to that store.
Maudie Atkinson
The post this morning on post-divorce name changes got me thinking y’all would be a good brain trust to tap on this: any tips for reselling wedding jewelry? I’m ready to do something with my engagement ring and my wedding band, but I’m not sure what my best options are to capture value.
I have no emotional attachment to my engagement ring (yellow gold, four-prong solitaire), but my wedding band was custom made, combining metal and pave stones from a ring my (late) dad gave my mom and a ring my ex’s dad gave his mom (they divorced before my ex and I were married). The band was great symbolism for a marriage, and also turns out to be pretty symbolic of the divorce–cannot separate what has been forged together. We didn’t have children (and not for want of trying); otherwise, I’d save them for the next generation.
I have retail value appraisals for both of them from 2011. Should I begin by updating the appraisal? Anyone have any secrets for re-selling the solitaire? Any ideas for something I could do with the band, if I don’t ultimately decide to sell it too?
Anon
I’d go to a local jeweler with a full bench and have both pieces re-made into something you like – maybe a pendant or a right hand ring. You don’t have to think of the stones as symbolizing a lifetime commitment to your ex. You can think of it as honoring and memorializing a time in your life that was both joyous and painful, and had a material part in making you who you are today.
BabyAssociate
This would my recommendation too. A colleague recently did the same thing. Her new pieces were stunning and totally unrecognizable as a former engagement ring!
anon
+1
This would be my suggestion too.
Anon
This is also what I’d do.
Anon
Speaking from experience, your solitaire will bring less than 1/3 of its retail value. I looked into selling mine when I got divorced (2015) and I asked about swapping it in when I got engaged the second time (2018), and my $10k ring was worth ~$3k each time.
You can get slightly better prices for it online at second hand websites for people who aren’t worried about a “curse,” but you’ll only see about 40% when I looked into it in 2015.
I’ve ultimately kept mine. I’d be fine letting a cousin or niece or nephew use the stones someday.
cbackson
I ended reselling mine at a consignment store, but they were Tiffany and I had all the Tiffany stuff so I got a bit of a better price for that because they knew that would help with resale. I think that going to a decent local jeweler is the best bet.
I get the logic of having them remade into something for you, but honestly, I wouldn’t have wanted jewelry made out of my former wedding set. I figured it wasn’t worth a lot of emotional energy to shop around – just took what I could get, counted it as a bonus, and moved on.
Maudie Atkinson
That’s where I am with the solitaire, I think, but not the band, at least not yet.
Recommendations for such a local jeweler in town?
cbackson
I would definitely start with Worthmore in Amsterdam Walk (where Amsterdam hits Piedmont Park). They’re a full bench jeweler and my mom sold jewelry to them a few years ago. They also have a store in Decatur, but the Amsterdam Walk store is easier to deal with IMO (inter alia, tons of parking).
kp
This is the first thing I’ve ever seen on here and thought wow, I definitely need that immediately! Just bought, can’t wait to see what it’s like in person!
Anonymous
Nice, please report back and let us know how you like it!
Anon
A price that low raises flags for me. Was it made by exploited children or something? Is it actually real leather? Is it going to fall apart in one day? Is this company actually a front for organized crime? (Ok, that one is maybe not a real concern of mine.)
babyweight
That. I didn’t even click. Seems too inexpensive to be real.
Anonymous
Says it’s split leather. Seems like a fine price to me.
Inspired by Hermione
It has no exterior pocket, also. Why in the world would someone design a bag with that kind of closure without even an open pocket on the back for a phone?
Hermione
Someone who doesn’t realise women’s clothes don’t have pockets.
Foot/shoe deodorizer?
Hoping the Hive can give me some good recs! My feet/heels are starting to stink after wearing my work shoes. I try to rotate between shoes, but it’s not working. Any favorite sprays to get the funk out of my shoes that won’t also ruin my shoes, or sprays for my feet to keep them from getting all sweaty and gross? Thanks!
Emma
Gekks! Only thing that worked for me with my Rothys.
Gail the Goldfish
I see ads for these all the time on the Internet and have been curious about them. Do they really not slide down? I haven’t had much luck finding no-show socks that stay put on the heel.
Anonymous
I have sweaty feet, and I wear the no show socks. That is what works for me to keep my feet non-stinky. Get the lowest rise you can find so they don’t show. Mine dont even cover all of my toes. I get mine at the grocery store. Also, any spray that fights athletes foot should help. THey all have the same active ingredient.
Anon
Get foot powder and sprinkle it in your shoes when you wear them. This is literally what it is made for. Also helps your feet slip a little and not stick to your shoes.
PolyD
Do not wear the same shoes every day – give them at least one day between wearings to dry and air out.
I’d also try stuffing them with newspaper on their off days – absorbs both moisture and odor. I once de-stank a pair of cloth Skechers by stuffing newspaper in them. Crumple it into balls and stuff the shoes pretty full.
I've tried it
I put an ultra-thin maxi pad or panty liner in my shoes. Absorbs odor and wetness, and then can dispose of it easily at the end of the day.
Baby powder also helps.
Burgher
I bought UV shoe zappers, and they work wonders for shoes that I cannot wear a liner with or get a spray inside of them. We also struggled for months trying to get my kid’s athlete’s foot under control and the UV lights were the only thing that worked to get rid of it. I also make a “Stinky Shoe Spray” with essential oils that works shockingly well. Since making it, I actually haven’t even used the UV zappers.
Anon
Does anyone have a recommendation for darted tees? Plain round or V neck tees in colors made of thicker stretch cotton with bust darts. I have two from DD Atelier (RIP) that are amazing, but can’t seem to find this concept elsewhere. What should I search for?
So Anon
I’m the one who was contemplating changing my last name post-divorce to my birth name (love this terminology) this morning. I just need to put this out there: Just got a call from my soon-to-be-ex that he was fired from his job today. I have zero doubt that the behavior that led to the divorce also led to the termination of his employment (largely the result of an underlying, diagnosed personality disorder). Now, instead of him buying me out of the equity in our house, we will need to sell it, which is going to be much harder on the kids. I had been receiving child support, but I do not need it to sustain my and the kids’ standard of living. I feel bad for the guy, but not really. Sorry dude, looks like the reckoning is here.
Anon
I wouldn’t sell just yet. He may get another job soon and be able to buy you out – divorce proceedings can take a while.
So Anon
We have our final hearing in three weeks. He has his job through the end of June, so he has time to find something, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he totally falls apart at this point.
Anon
I do some family law and I have seen so many creative situations to deal with the family house. Is the house under water? I’m confused why he would be buying you out. If the house has equity and you are staying in it, wouldn’t you be buying him out? If you tell me a bit more I’ll let you know any creative solutions I’m aware of.
So Anon
Here’s the thing: I don’t want the house. If he wants it, I’m fine with that, but I want my share of the equity. I think it will be easier on the kids if someone stayed in this house, but I don’t plan on it being me. I want a fresh start. This house is going to be a pain to sell, but if he can’t get his act together to get the equity, I think the best avenue is to sell it. I’m open to other creative ideas, though.
Anon
@ So Anon.
Got it. Creative solutions – the value of the equity is off set by another part of the marital distribution. You don’t have to split your 401k with him or he transfers part of his two you as an example. You stay stuck on the mortgage though with your fingers crossed he actually pays it until he has the money to refinance to get you off of it. Your decree can have provisions like one missed mortgage payment and the house gets put on the market.
If you don’t need the money right away, you can agree to the value of your equity as of the date of the divorce plus some rate of interest and defer your right to that equity for X years to sell the house when the kids are a certain age. That has the same problem that you still remain on the mortgage potentially.
It sounds like selling it will be a much cleaner break.
Senior Attorney
Oh, so sorry to hear this but happy you are out of that situation. Hugs to you and your kids.
anon
hugs. i also read the mom’s site and i’m glad that you do not need his child support to sustain your standard of living. i earn a lot less than my DH and would honestly be financially screwed in this situation. i know on the mom’s site you had also asked about having Ex watch kid next week – this seems like an even worse idea now. good luck to you and your kids. they sound very very lucky to have you as a mom. i’m sure time is limited now, but just try to make sure you are also taking care of yourself.
Anon
+1 to being grateful you don’t need his money. I’m always somewhat confused when people say not to be a stay at home mom for financial reasons. I work, but my after tax earnings are essentially what we pay for childcare, to say nothing of rent, food or other bills, so I have no idea how I’d support myself and the kids in the event of divorce, except through child support. And I expect I’d get a lot more child support as a SAHM than as a woman who works full-time outside the home. Bit of a tangent, but anyway I’m glad for you that you don’t need to worry about him paying any support.
Anon
You’d maybe get more child support as a SAHM, but not enough to remain a SAHM. That’s why.
Anonymous
And child support ends at some point.
Down the hole
+1 while the spouse goes off and keeps working and moving up the career ladder, the SAHM rarely gets enough money to not work, especially in states that cap child support at a certain amount or certain percentage of income. Could you survive off of 20% of your spouse’s income? Because that’s what you might get – not even speaking to the uphill battle of explaining away several years gap in resume and trying to retrain for a job, if you ever had a job (some women go from college to husband’s home without working). I always advocate for still working in some capacity (consulting or part time), even if you’re a SAHM for a while, just in case something happens so you don’t find yourself out on the street in a one bedroom with kids and a 6 year whole in your resume.
Anonymous
Or because sometimes the situation isn’t divorce, but disability or death. Hopefully everyone has enough disability/life insurance to cover loss of income in this situation, but you never know when you may need a source of income and it’s a lot harder to find one if you’ve been out of the workforce.
Senior Attorney
And because a child support judgment is worth only what you can collect. Which may or may not be the full amount ordered and may or may not be anything at all.
Anon
If you drop out of the workforce, you hurt your earning power.
Let’s say that you earn $45k a year when the kids are little – barely enough to justify daycare and commuting expenses. Ten years later, you might be making, say, $80k. If you had stayed at home those ten years and then needed to go back into the workforce, you would be entering the workforce at $45k (or less, because you might have a harder time getting a job without fresh experience).
MomAnon4This
This is one of my greatest life fears and why I’m working for a pittance with 3 kids – because who knows.
My actual greatest fear is getting stuck in an elevator with strangers.
Anonymous
Hugs – even if you do have to sell, you will have a new spot that will be filled with good memories instead of the memories of him being with you in the current house.
BWE
What do you do during the period between when you give your notice and officially leave your job?
anon
finish projects, close out your activities, turn over to other employees, document close out, notify customers and contacts that you are leaving and who is taking your place, clean out your desk, clean personal info off of your PC that you are turning in
Anon
+1
I also hand wrote thank you notes to the partners I worked for the most (and also whom I might ask for references in the future!).
A lot of my departure from a law firm was making sure everything I was working on was covered by someone else, and nothing fell through the cracks. I was told later on that everyone appreciated this.
Anonymous
I’m a partner and I LOVE getting nice notes or emails from associates who are leaving. Believe it or not, I feel personally invested in the success of all of my associates and it’s so nice to get a note from them.
Jtapp
Agree!
Anon
I wish I had done that! I left a biglaw adjacent firm a couple of years ago for a smaller firm focusing on smaller clients and even though I was a mediocre associate at my old firm, people think I’m great at my new one (in large part because of the training I got at the old place). I almost want to email those partners and let them know but I’m afraid it would be weird
Anonymous
This is a long short, but has anyone replaced their fancy no agitator, high efficiency washing machine with a traditional one? I hate my washing machine, my clothes come out covered in lint. It needs a $200 dollar repair, Im tempted to just replace it with the kind that my grandma used to have. Has anyone gone back to the old technology and regretted it?
Anon
I haven’t reverted all the way to an agitator, but yeah, I have stepped down in technology. More knobs, fewer buttons, etc.
If you do want to go all the way old school, Speed Queen has a devoted following.
AnonInfinity
I did this kind of inadvertently. I had one of the old agitator washers in my first house and LOVED it. Then moved to second (fancy!) house, which came with a front loader. I hated that stupid washer, but my ex husband loved it, and it wasn’t broken, so we kept it. Finally sold the house a few months ago and moved into an apartment that has an old-style washer with an agitator in my unit. I love it so much, and I’m glad to have it back. If I ever buy another washer, I will absolutely get one of these. I have always only used “delicate” or “normal” cycles and either hot or cold water, so I’m just not sure why I need all the fancy features. And I my clothes and they last a long time, so I’m not really convinced that the old style washers beat up the clothes more. I do wash most everything other than exercise clothes or whites in mesh bags, though.
MomAnon4This
How new-and-fancy?
My 14-year-old dryer died and my husband would’ve loved to fix it but I looked up average lifespan for that manufacturer and it was 13 years. We got a new one.
Isn’t “lint” usually a dryer problem, not a washer? Go ahead and get one that doesn’t make you hate life. Fix up the old one and donate it to an organization that helps domestic violence victims get back up on their feet.
Anon
Absolutely. I have a Speed Queen set and love everything about them.
mascot
My top load washer had this issue where dark clothes came out with lint smudges. I made a few changes to how I washed clothes and it mostly stopped. Use warm water, use less detergent, add an extra rinse, and/or use a deeper water cycle. The machines are too miserly with water so stuff doesn’t rinse as well.
Anonymous
Just did this a few weeks ago. My 16 year-old hand-me-down front load GE bit the dust. I was really annoyed with all the bells and whistles and terrible reviews of most of what was on the market. I sprung for the Speed Queen top loader (the mid-level model with the 5 year warranty). I had some anxiety about spending that much for a washing machine, but we could afford it and if it lives up to its reputation, I won’t regret it. So far I’m very happy with it.
Sadie
I had a fancy front loading set and hated it for all the reasons above plus more.
When my mother in law passed away, we kept her 20 year old school agitator washer. It’s been plugging along for another 5 years. Zero issues. If it dies I will replace it with a similar model which can be purchased for under $500.
Weight Watcher
Hi ‘Rettes –
Started the new WW this week & was wondering if anyone has had good or bad experiences with the freestyle version (lower points but more zero point foods)? I had a good experience with it about 9 or 10 years ago, happy weight was put on over the last decade & now I’m late 20s/early30s and would like to get the happy weight under control. Haven’t heard wonderful things, but haven’t heard terrible & remembered a few posters here had used WW before. Any advice is welcome – doing the digital only version for the time being.
Anon
I also used WW about a decade ago and now. Honestly, the new freestyle version didn’t work as well for me and I ended up quitting and leaving the happy weight where it is. (I think maybe it’s because the points are higher on the foods that still have points? I’m not sure what it was, it just felt less…sustainable to me. And I tried it three times in the last year. But I wish you the very best of luck!)
Skipper
I hated it! The food tracker doesn’t have as many options as MyFitnessPal, and the whole low fat thing doesn’t seem to be consistent with the current understanding of healthy food and satiety. I ended up eating around 800 calories on the days I stuck to my points.
Anonymous
How could you eat only 800 calories when there are tons of zero point foods?
NOLA
Holy cow, that’s not enough food!
anon a mouse
I did not have a good experience with freestyle. I’ve done WW successfully two other times in my life and I realized that I already have a pretty healthy diet — so many things I eat are 0 point or very low point foods. I wasn’t eating all my points and was gaining weight. I am just hardcore on calorie counting and portion control now.
Anon
I think the only version now is Freestyle – they converted a huge amount of items to zero points but also drastically lowered the amount of allowed eating points – which leads to a huge issue for anyone with portion control or with little sense of the caloric value of food. You end up blowing your points for the whole day with a croissant and coffee and you either starve the rest of the day (because you blew your points but haven’t blown your caloric intake for the day) or you end up overeating on things that are zero points but high calories (hello meats, potatoes and carb heavy veggies). And that’s if you stick to the plan – I found that if I blew my points early in the day, it ended up being super discouraging and I just stopped tracking for the day. I ended up gaining 5 lbs on the new WW version and quit after two months of really concerted effort.
It’s unfortunate – the previous version worked for me really well and I lost almost five pounds. They took away the option and got a lot of hate from dedicated users.
Anonymous
Gently, none of the foods you mentioned are actually zero points, so your experience perhaps isn’t reflective of the actual program. Lean protein like white meat chicken and fish are zero points, but beef and pork, along with potatoes, sweet potatoes, parsnips and other starchy vegetables are generally around points per serving. It is entirely possible to lose weight and maintain that weight loss on this program. I have lost 30 lbs over the last two years on the new program and have had no problem maintaining it even without tracking every single thing I’ve eaten.
Anon
Agree with this. I’m the person who commented below and I feel like doing the points has actually helped me *gain* a sense of caloric value and making healthier choices more frequently. Like, sure, the first week you might get your croissant and then you put it in and you’re like OMG 15 points just for this!? But then then next time you want a croissant, you’re like well, that’s 15 points, do I really want it? And some days, the answer is yes because I’m having chicken for lunch and dinner and I can spare the 15 points. But not everyday, which is what I was doing previously.
Anonymous
I don’t understand why you would starve the rest of the day. The system is designed to allow someone that he flexibility to indulge at breakfast and then do fish or chicken and salad for lunch and dinner and still be within points. I often picked something to splurge points on because it was a treat I loved and then are sensibly the rest of the day. WW also teaches portion sizes/control so one does ‘t go overboard on the ‘free points’
Anon
I did the Freestyle last May and lost about 15 pounds in a couple of months. Due to some health issues I have been off of it for a while, but actually just started up again last week and I’m already down six pounds. It works for me because I choose to eat a lot of the low or zero point foods, so I don’t really get hungry. (I.e. a lunch of baked chicken and peas is zero points, and pretty filling.) I have fruits for breakfast, also zero points, and I now use fruit more as my snacks instead of candy (I’m a sucker for chocolate). I find I can have zero point breakfast and lunch and then have a pretty hearty dinner with a glass of wine.
Frustrated Anon
A big complaint was that by taking away so many points, it forces you to eat the vast majority from the zero points list which severely constrained your food options if have allergies or simply don’t want to eat baked chicken and eggs all day for protein. My biggest gripe is that WW assumes knowledge of caloric intake and no issues with portion control without adequately taking into account calories – it was really easy to overeat on only zero points and I ended up gaining weight. If I didn’t have portion control issues I WOULDN’T NEED THE DA*N THING IN THE FIRST PLACE – in order to lose weight with a calorie deficit I a small person only get 1100 calories a day which can easily be blown with zero point foods.
If you can’t tell I’m still peeved because prior to Freestyle it worked for me. It just worked for different types of eating issues and different lifestyles and now it doesn’t.
Anon
I’ve been using the online only WW for a few months now and I actually really like it. There’s great recipes you can find on the app, and the scanner is great to use in the grocery store to find lower point foods, and the social media part of it is inspirational and you can get great ideas on there as well. I love that I can eat zero point foods when I’m hungry. I do feel like I’m learning healthier habits and have found regular meals and foods that are much healthier than what I was eating before. I think it’s a great tool – I like that it’s flexible but still teaches healthy eating and helps reinforce those habits.
AnotherAnon
My shoe wardrobe needs a refresh. I’ve been wearing flats and Kork Ease wedge heel booties all winter, and they are so comfortable that the idea of going back to my (MK) heels makes me cringe. I walk around a fair amount for work. Any recs for stylish heels that you can walk in? I’ve had Corso Como del’s but I’m debating just buying a pair of Kork Ease shoes that could pass for spring/summery and calling it a day.
Anon
I know Kat posts a lot about heels, but I swear traditional heels (and women’s suits, for that matter) are out in my world (boutique law, DC). I only know one woman who regularly wears Del-type heels and she has that “this is the wardrobe I bought as a mid-level associate and it was expensive and I haven’t had time to go shopping since” vibe. Otherwise, literally everyone I know is wearing block heels.
Anon
Yeah and here on the west coast everyone I know is wearing flats or very low heels. That shoe roundup today seemed ridiculously out of touch to me. Honestly the only women who wear heels in my entire gigantic office building are admins.
Anonymous
You said you’re looking for heels but I’ll just throw out there that I’ve started wearing flat oxfords and loafers and may never wear heels again. It took some adjusting to feel like myself in them when I was used to heels, but now I love the way they look and they’re so comfy!
HW
Seems like it’s a rebranding of the HiEleven bags, which may have been necessary given the thoughts in this thread: https://forum.purseblog.com/threads/hieleven-bags.949674/