Gift Idea: ‘Vetiver 46’ Liquid Balm
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They're calling this product “the new way to carry your signature scent anywhere.” To me it doesn't seem that different from the regular roll-on kind of perfume, although it might be slightly bigger.
The scent itself is really lovely, a very deep and dark and sort of woodsy feel. I bought this for myself because I'm obsessed with vetiver — and I thought it was a men's cologne when I got it. So if you knew a woman in your life who prefers less feminine scents and more masculine, dark notes, do took a look at Vetiver 46. It's $90 at Nordstrom. Le Labo ‘Vetiver 46' Liquid Balm
Sales of note for 2/7/25:
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- My workload is vastly exceeding my capability — what should I do?
- Why is there generational resentment regarding housing? (See also)
- What colors should I wear with a deep green sweater dress?
- How do you celebrate milestone birthdays?
- How do you account for one-time expenses in your monthly budget?
- If I'm just starting to feel sick from the flu, do I want Tamilfu?
- when to toss old clothes of a different size
- a list of political actions to take right now
- ways to increase your intelligence
- what to wear when getting sworn in as a judge (congrats, reader!)
- how to break into teaching as a second career
I’ve appreciated the frank discussions on here about mental health in the past, so I have a question for the group. Any tips or strategies for bringing something up with your therapist that your anxious or nervous to discuss? I need to talk to my therapist about something from my past that has unexpectedly resurfaced (in a minor way so far) and which I thought was totally over. For some reason, this is freaking me out – any good tips for getting myself to bring this up and for making it easier?
Thanks, all.
Email her and ask her to ask about it during your session.
She doesn’t do email for confidential/substantive matters, unfortunately. It’s a good idea – that would be a lot easier.
Is it substantive/confidential to say “I’d like to put X on the list of things we talk about next week”? Or “I’d like to revisit Issue the next time we meet”?
You don’t need her to email you back, you just need the prompt to talk about it, right?
+1
Yes, I bring notes on an index card and hand it to her.
May I piggyback? How does one find a good therapist to begin with? I’ve had a couple misses, am not eager to look again, but probably should.
My friends and I have all ended up at the same therapist because of waterfall recommendations (someone recommended her to me, I recommended her to my bff, we both recommended her to several other friends, etc.). I think at one point 7 or 8 of us were going to her! That said, it’s important to ask your friends what they like about the therapist and why. What works for them may not work for you.
It isn’t easy. Definitely ask around for recommendations. One caveat – consider your take on the mental health of the person giving the recommendation. I made this mistake with a psychiatrist and nearly ended up with serotonin syndrome. In hindsight, the recommender is someone I consider high drama and not very stable.
Depending on what you need to deal with, I’ve also had good luck with looking for therapists who specialize in a technique which is recommended. For my own recovery from assault and untreated PTSD, finding a therapist who specialized in EMDR was huge. Another friend was finally given a recommendation for another technique and found a specialist for that – she has had great results.
I drop it at the very end of the conversation one week and ask her to bring it up the next week- it usually takes me the entire session to get up the nerve to talk about it. But I like the idea of bringing something for her to ask about.
Piggybacking off of this- although I adore my therapist and I feel better after talking with her, I don’t feel like I’m learning a lot of skills to handle things from her. We’ve talked about HOW I handle things and some reframing (for example, reframing “Dude who I trust hasn’t been responding to me; when abusive guy didn’t respond to me, it was because he was angry and punishing me, so dude here must also be angry at me, even though there’s literally nothing at all to suggest he would be angry at me, give me the silent treatment to punish me, or not tell me if he was upset” to “Sometimes people act in ways that are unintentionally hurtful without being, in any way, abusive or even knowing what they’re doing is upsetting you. It’s okay that this freaks you out, because you have the connection of not talking to you being because someone is angry and wants to hurt you, but remember that Guy You Trust is not Abusive Guy.”) That helps, but I want more skills I can use on a daily basis. How would you go about bringing this up? Again: I love her. I’ve been seeing her for 2.5 years now, and I want to keep seeing her. It helps me to just talk stuff through each week, but I wish it had a bit more of the “Try this” component.
I’m sure you know this, but identifying the cause of the issues is an enormously important piece of the puzzle. Say: “I love that I’ve been able to learn how to identify problematic thought patterns and their causes. I’d really like to work on ways to manage them in real-time. What do you suggest?”
I find it best to admit to her that there is something you want to talk about but it is hard for you to bring up and explore from there
Finally ran out of address labels – any recommendations for replacements, or should I finally go for a stamp?
I love my stamp. I bought it from the seller yellowfishpaperie on Etsy. Actually I’ve bought two stamps from that shop because I replaced it when we moved. It works really nicely and looks pretty.
That looks great, thanks! Just showed it to someone as a gift idea since they were looking.
STAMP! Love my stamp so hard.
Make a donation to St. Jude. They will send you address labels for life. They are cute too!
I use an embosser, which I love. I use it on the back flap of the envelope usually!
Oh my gosh, these stamps are way cuter than the labels I’ve been printing! Great idea, thanks!
Related question – how do folks do address stamps for families where spouses have different last names? (And kids have dad’s name, although that’s not really a deciding factor).
I use” Smith/Jones Family.” Probably not technically correct, but since no one is hyphenated it seemed more appropriate than Smith-Jones Family
I usually informally write the To: Anderson/Smith Family and write the last names in ABC order.
I didn’t change my name legally, but b/c I don’t care socially, I just use FamilyLastName on our stamper.
I figure that husband’s next five wives can use it, so it just seemed more economical in the long run.
I hope your family surname is “The Eighth”.
I got a stamp with both of our names. I also have one with just my name for my personal mail.
Mine is just the address without our names.
Ours is just our first names because that is what looked best. I’d also be good with both of our full names.
I’m a kid of a blended family. My stepmom took my dad’s last name but her kids did not. Our answering machine message said you’d reached the Smith/Jones family and I think a stamp with something similar would be fine too.
Got a stamp at work. I adore it.
Seeking non-itchy sweater — my daughter, who is a junior in high school, requested “a sweater that doesn’t itch my neck.” She does indeed have sensitive skin and it appears wool and cashmere are out. Any suggestions from folks with similar skin for a sweater that doesn’t itch? She’ll probably return whatever I buy due to my lack of teenage fashion sense, but I figure I should at least make the effort . . .
Polyester/fleece.
Very, very nice cashmere can sometimes be ok, but as someone with sensitive skin, it is always safest to bypass wool/cashmere and go synthetic.
Cotton cable knit. I’m the same way and I only wear cotton sweaters.
+1 I love cashmere, but cotton cable knit makes super nice chunky, soft sweaters.
Me too. Those and silk.
Ultra thin silk turtlenecks to wear under the sweaters.
Practically, yes, but I would (still) rather be miserable and itchy than wear a turtleneck below a sweater. Age 24.
I really, really like my Target crew neck sweater (wearing it today). Bunch of colors, and it’s Nylon/Rayon/Modal.
Brooks Brothers merino and cashmere, and Neiman Marcus house brand cashmere, and to a lesser extent Talbots cashmere (it’s not quite as good as the other two), are the only sweaters I’ve ever purchased that don’t make me want to crawl out of my skin within an hour of wearing.
Conversely, Jcrew’s sweater blends make me itch from across the store.
Babeau one button drape cardigan – fleece on the inside, super soft. At Nordstrom.
I keep finding these at Marshall’s/ TJMaxx, too.
They have the non-fleece ones for $16.99 at at least 3 Nordstrom Racks I’ve been to recently, in two states.
Madewell has the largest selection of cotton sweaters I’ve been able to find.
I have very sensitive skin and I like merino wool (Uniqlo’s extra-fine), whereas cashmere is itchy no matter the quality (even when it’s extremely soft, it’s like there are tiny itchy points that are activated when it’s in contact with my skin).
How old were you when you started thinking about “what I want to do when I grow up”?
My niece is coming to for the holidays (my brother’s child/family). She’s 11 or 12 now. Bright, ok socially, big reader, lives in the Bay Area tech world. Only child. Her mom is a stay at home mom – very child focused. They have never left my niece with a babysitter.
Once I asked my niece what she wanted to do when she grows up. She said that she doesn’t want to work, like her Mom. She basically said that since her Mom needs all her time to take care of HER, how or why should she think about working?
It makes me kind of sad.
My SIL has a lot of issues, and is very insecure and unfortunately suspicious of everyone, so I have to choose my words carefully.
Any thoughts, and recs for me to what to say to my niece? So I can be a good role model, without appearing judgmental or threatening to her Mom?
What about starting to give her books about women doing amazing things that might inspire her? The book Women in Science: 50 Fearless Pioneers Who Changed the World is on my list of books to buy my niece. I think there is an RBG book aimed at younger readers.
Is it possible for you to have her come visit alone for a weekend sometime? You wouldn’t have to address anything specific with her, but getting her out of her bubble might help her see that there are other options out there.
Great ideas.
I would love to spend time with her alone, but they live across the country. I have only once ever been allowed to be alone with her…. I walked her to the library once. Not kidding.
I actually did buy her a couple books with women at the center…… Helen Keller’s autobiography (I loved that story when I was a child, and taught myself basic sign language) and the Diary of Anne Frank. But maybe these are too grown-up/downers? Your idea may be better.
Does she hang out with kids who remind you of Juniper Creek from Big Love? If not, I wouldn’t worry. Maybe you and she can be penpals? And if you travel for work, send her a post card.
My family has had generations of SAHMs on farms. Those ladies worked hard work and never had a break. I feel like my office job is awfully cushy in comparison. If I did pinterst and yoga all day and didn’t work, my foremothers would probably be disappointed in me.
I started sending my nieces and nephews postcards from my travels after reading about someone here doing that. I love doing that. It is a fun way to keep in touch a bit more since I also live across the country from my extended family.
Thanks. That really made me laugh!
I started sending her texts, every once in awhile…. Yes, she has an iPhone unfortunately.
Don’t say anything. Let her into your life. Share with her what you do. Send her little notes throughout the year. Reminisce fondly about college. Mention that you sometimes don’t love your job but gosh you love being able to buy new jeans. But don’t say anything directly about her, her future, or her mom.
Do NOT say that you love being able to buy new jeans. If anything that plants the seed of — you need to work to buy new jeans, my mom wears new jeans weekly and she doesn’t have to work – I will just marry a husband like my dad who will provide bc there’s no way I’m hustling for a pair of jeans if I don’t have to.
Uhhhhh okayyyy.
My point is just let her see how you live your life. Personally? I’m glad I work so that I can buy things.
Right. But you don’t know how things are in that household — maybe SAHM is saying to her — we women don’t need to work, we have Dad to buy us things. By teeing up working as just a means to buy stuff, you may just flip the switch in her 11 yr old brain that causes her to ignore you bc she is politely thinking – well nice for you that you need to work to buy, but my mom doesn’t and that’s the life I want.
I agree – I think it’s fine to talk about how much you enjoyed college and grad school and all the fun things you get to do at work now, but I wouldn’t focus on the “I work to pay bills” attitude. (Although I also think you’re worrying about this far too soon – presumably her parents want her to attend college, and while she’s there she will be exposed to many new people and ideas. She also hasn’t yet reached the age when kids love to rebel against their parents and their values. Many high schoolers want to do the exact opposite of what their parents did.)
Good points!
At that age, my daughter desperately wanted to be an actress in the Harry Potter movies. Cried herself to sleep because she could not be Hermione. Now at 16 she is super focused and planning to major in math & computer science. She gets a lot of information about college, majors, careers, etc., in high school from peers and counselors. So I wouldn’t worry at this age.
This. Teachers and guidance counselors in high school are going to ask what she wants to do and tell her that being a stay at home mom is not an acceptable life plan for an 18-year-old. I wouldn’t fight this battle. If she were 17 and saying she’s not going to go to college, perhaps, but she has a lot of time to figure it out with the help of her school and other adults around her. I would not get involved.
When i was 8 I desperately wanted to be a meteorologist. When I was 10, an architect (but I felt guilty about abandoning my prior dream). At the same time, I was (seriously) waiting and praying (to Jesus, lol) for my magical powers to appear, a la Harry Potter. Just keep feeding her inspiring examples of strong women and encourage intellectual curiosity and creativity.
I truly appreciate all of these insights!
At age 12 my desperate desire was to be a novelist. I’m now a physicist.
I wanted to be a florist at around 9.
Avon lady
I don’t get it. Why are you bringing this up yearly? I realize you want your niece to say she wants to be an engineer like everyone in Silicon Valley or a banker in NYC or whatever, but she’s ELEVEN. She’s not exactly picking up an MRS. next year either. If you want to be a “role model” — why not talk about your work around her. Maybe she’s be fascinated by the fact that you get to go on business trips (I know that was HUGE for me at that age); or that you go to court. Or if your work isn’t that interesting, talk about your friends — maybe she’ll think it’s cool that that little bookstore you went to yesterday is owned by a friend of yours. But beyond that, I don’t think it’s your place to be criticizing that your brother and his wife are – thus far – raising their daughter to be a stay home. Insecure moms get even more insecure if you dare question their child’s education or career aspirations bc they see it as a personal slight — so leave it alone.
+1 – I would talk about the cool things you do (even if they don’t seem all that cool to you). One of my 16 year old cousins is fascinated by the fact that I go to court, even though a lot of the time, it’s not all that interesting.
I don’t bring it up yearly. I asked her once.
No, I wasn’t expecting her to say any grown up/real career. I was hoping she would say ANYTHING. A juggler. An astronaut. An actress in a Harry Potter movie. I couldn’t care less, as I wanted to be Crazy Things when I was her age. Her response was so odd to me, I actually said nothing.
Maybe…..gasp…she’s different than you?
Why so sarcastic? Seems odd to me too in this day and age!
I don’t think you need to say much of anything. Just let her know you’re there for advice if she needs you later. My mom brought me up telling me that the most important thing any woman could ever do is be a stay at home mom. You know what? By the time I actually had to make any decisions, I could think for myself. Turns out I came to the conclusion that being a SAHM was not the best path for me. My mom wasn’t overjoyed about it, but she’s come around and we’ve all survived.
If your niece is bright, trust her to make the correct decisions for herself when the time comes.
Thanks. I like this.
Yes, my mom too. She spent my entire childhood actively preparing me to be a stay at home mom. By the time I left/fled home, I could very clearly see that I did NOT want that life.
Now I’m 31, no kids, have a great career and the added benefit of being the go-to person in my friend group for things like stain removal, cake decorating, spring cleaning checklists, cooking advice, etc. I’m basically a remote “Mom” for lots of people, and I love it!
Maybe ask her if she’s interested in what her dad does. She has two parents and I think you can expose her to the idea that she can be like either one, or neither if she wants to, without targeting mom’s choices.
Good point.
If they’re living in the Bay area with 1 kid and a stay home mom, chances are they are well off — not necessarily, but a reasonable chance that dad brings home a lot of $. So it is not going to be “helpful” to the kid to talk about all the things money can buy bc in her mind — her mom doesn’t work and they have the nicest of homes, cars etc. bc DAD. So figure out what — if anything — she’s into. Then get her some age appropriate books or biographies on people doing the kinds of things she thinks are cool right now. I’m not suggesting that it’ll spark a desire to apply to medical school tomorrow, but if she starts hearing/reading about people doing cool things — she may want to do those too one day, even though she doesn’t have to monetarily and even if she knows that she could just marry money and sit home.
Fwiw, my mom was a SAHM and I was never left with a babysitter, not even once in my whole childhood, because my mom thought it was “cruel.” I got a STEM degree and am now a patent lawyer. Kids don’t necessarily do what their parents did, and many kids actively rebel against their parents values and lifestyle. I wouldn’t worry about it as long as she is doing what she should be doing at her age (i.e., be concerned when she’s a junior in high school and she says she’s not taking the SATs. Don’t worry about it now.)
You shouldn’t be worried about convincing her to change her mind about working at this point, because her mind isn’t really made up. Instead focus on exposing her to women who get fulfillment from working. Talk with her about your career and about other successful, impressive women. She’ll also hear this more as she gets into her teen years and will probably be naturally more skeptical of mom as she seeks greater independence (not because mom is SAH, but because all normal teens go through that phase).
When I was 8 I desperately wanted to be a Dallas cheerleader. I also wanted to fly (as in pilot, not as in growing wings).
She’s 11. Lives across the country. Sees you 1-2x a yr max it sounds like. You have no independent relationship – given that you’ve gone to the library with her alone once. And she very likely senses your tension with her mom. Isn’t it likely that she sees you as that aunt she must see once a yr, but other than that she has no interest in (or not enough comfort to) open up to you? You’re randomly asking her what she wants to be — maybe it’s just easier to say, I want to be like mom. Than to get into her dream of being a part time pilot who spends the rest of her time working for Google?
Ouch… maybe.
I only see her once a year. When they come, all of our family takes time off to be with them (my brothers, father, me all come to see them). No one from our side of the family is invited to Bay Area to visit them. SIL doesn’t want to come to visit us at all, but brother basically forces her once a year since our Mom recently passed and father quite ill. Once he passes, they wont come again I’m sure.
Yeah… her Mom doesn’t like me. So I will probably never form a bond with my niece. I guess that’s how it works. Ouch.
Point well taken.
Yeah. You’re just “some relative” on her dad’s side that they must see 1x/yr. Clearly mother and daughter aren’t interested — an 11 yr old senses when a trip is done by obligation vs. actual excitement. So I wouldn’t even go down the roads suggested above of inspiring her with books or tales of your own career or whatever — you can only do that when the kid has some relationship with you; no kid is going to be inspired by some random relative.
I hate to agree, but of all of the replies in this thread, this one resonates with me most. I have an aunt and uncle that I see once a year. Both have a tense relationship with my parents. I was always purposely very short with them and never saw a point in opening up. Judging her based on the responses she gives someone she sees once a year is probably not the best. She probably does have ambitions that she’s not sharing with you.
Or she has ambitions of her own, but senses your disapproval of her mom and wanted to stick up here her.
I’ll be honest, I agreed with this at first. But then I remembered some of my mom’s cousins that I only met a few times growing up and their lifestyles definitely made an impression just because they were different from ours (lived far away, had a bigger house, always on their phones for work, etc.) and we DIDN’T see them all the time.
As for books, because books are a good present no matter what the purpose, give her something you yourself read and enjoyed. Give them to her as hand me downs for the trip home and tell her to text you if she likes them. If she’s a book nerd like me, she may actually follow through, preteen or not. I’d have loved an aunt who slipped me books instead of trying to slip me her glass of wine at 10….
Oh, and I totally wanted to be Dana Scully at that point.
It’s too bad.
We are her only family in this country (me/my brother/my father). SIL’s family are all in Asia.
My niece is usually pretty silly/fun with us (different than I am with my once a year staid Aunt/Uncle) and seems to look forward to coming and asks to stay longer — but who knows what is going on in her mind. Perhaps you are right.
Yeah, stop judging her mom. You don’t need to be a “role model” because her mom is her role model. Just be a person and ask her age-appropriate questions.
Um, what??? Sorry, I think her mom is being a terrible model for her daughter in that she is clearly not talking to her about her potential *choices* which are infinite in number.
Also, have you considered voicing your concerns to your brother about your niece’s total lack of interests or thoughts about the future? Maybe these things are also concerning to him.
It’s none of her business how her brother and SIL raise their child. She can judge all she wants, but she needs to mind her own business and just try to have fun when they visit.
No, I am not concerned about her and don’t feel any need to talk with my brother.
I’m actually mostly relieved they don’t put much pressure on her. She lives in an area where there is a lot of academic pressure/over-scheduling pressure on kids at an early age, and they don’t do any of that. I think it’s good that she is able to be a child for a bit longer than I was able to be one.
People’s responses here have been very interesting and helpful to me.
To be honest — I never really thought/talked about “what do I want to be,” ever. Really. One time around your nieces age, a high achieving (engineering PhD) friend of my parents asked me/my sister what we wanted to be. My sister dutifully said – engineer, just like dad. I literally said “nothing” — as in, I want to be nothing — much to the embarrassment of my Asian parents and their Asian friend — all of whom expect high achievers. I was pretty much like this thru high school. Got straight As in the top classes offered at my school, ranked #2 in the class etc. bc I was competitive – not bc I had a burning desire to be something specific. I ultimately went to undergrad b-school and then law school — again not bc of burning desires but bc both those things appealed to my practical nature and I knew they’d allow me to live the lifestyle I wanted.
So – not every kid has a dream job – it isn’t that odd.
I am you (but not Asian). I used to want to do hair. I still do. I got pushed into STEM instead.
Thanks for sharing your stories.
My dad worked and earned a high salary. My mom stayed home with us. I have an enormous amount of respect for them both and never felt pressured either way.
In high school, I wanted to be a doctor.
In college, I wanted to be a lawyer.
In law school, I wanted to graduate, work a few years, get married and pregnant, and then be a SAHM. I had zero intention of continuing to work once I had children.
Fast forward ten years – I’m married, no kids yet, work in-house in a role that I REALLY enjoy, can’t wait to have babies, and can’t wait to get back to work after my 12 week maternity leave is up. I respect any choice a family makes w/r/t who stays home/if someone stays home with kids, but oh holy baby jesus that life is not for me. I would miss my job. I would miss who I am when I’m at work and in my element. I would not have as much love for my children if I had to be with them all day long. I’m fortunate that I have the ability to make this choice.
All this to say – even if she thinks she wants to be a SAHM when she’s 26, she may change her mind :)
You are like me, but I would NOT miss my job if I found a guy to marry and support ME and our children. I do beleive, as an old fashioned girl, that we are built to bear children and bring them up while our husband’s work to bring home the bacon. Is that passe, mabye, but still, THEY can NOT bear children so it is up to US to do so. Then we can ALWAYS go back into the working world, but that should be OUR choice. That is why I respect Ivanka so much. She does NOT have to work but she enjoys it and does well at it, even with 3 kid’s of her own. She is my role model. YAY!!!!
Lots of people have suggested opening up to her about your work. I agree with that.
I also think that if she does get a job outside of home (which is likely at least for a few years out of college), she will need help figuring out how to do that and have kids. In my case, I tended to think the “relationship” box was checked off very quickly, and be surprised when they didn’t last, and to choose men who cooked for me, but had low ambition, so they weren’t on board when I was gearing up for challenges. I don’t want to project too much onto your niece, but if you read things written by second wave feminists and women entering/changing the workforce in the 1970s and 80s, you will see that the whole question of how to do relationship/ family and profession is a big one for many people. (It still is, but there are many more people DOing it now, so things might seem obvious to you that aren’t visible in her/their world.) Over the next few years, she will probably have various interests float in and out of her life. When she talks about pursuing one, a well-placed question about lifestyle/logistics might be really helpful. Don’t allow your contributions to feed into the false dichotomy. She probably can’t be a Fortune 500 CEO and hand sew Halloween costumes, but she certainly can fit home and career together. There are plenty of examples out there who you can point out to her.
So, all three of my brothers have been bald since their early 40s. I’m 55 and have recently noticed that my hairline has receded on the sides of my forehead. It is only noticeable if I pull my hair into a ponytail which I don’t often do.
So it is rogaine time. Do I use it in my own or should I ask my derm about it? What’s the best formulation to use? Any encouraging stories for me?
The rest of my hair doesn’t seem thin yet but I don’t want that to happen 10-15 years down the road if I don’t do anything now. Thank!
I’ve always had thin hair, but after a traumatic situation, I was losing hair at an alarming rate. I went to a derm about it and she recommended rogaine. That was ten years ago and I’ve been using it ever since. I use the liquid, not the foam (never tried it). I order the Kirkland from Amazon, but maybe they sell it at Costco? I use the men’s extra strength. It’s only a problem if you get pregnant, and then only if it’s a girl. I honestly don’t know if you could target the sides of your forehead. I use it on the top of my head and forward where my hair tends to be thinnest. You might want to talk to a derm first but you can just do it on your own. I wouldn’t bother with the women’s formula.
https://www.amazon.com/Kirkland-Minoxidil-Strength-Regrowth-BeautyCare/dp/B00DTPYGHQ/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1481659497&sr=1-1&keywords=minoxidil+for+men
Thanks for the tip. Way past menopause so no worries about pregnancy…
Yes, talk to your derm. Also something to consider: I have PCOS and hormone imbalances (too much testosterone and too little estrogen). These hormone imbalances can create male-pattern baldness in women. Youmight consider seeing if the Derm would run a blood hormone panel.
Thanks for pointing out hormones but as I’m way past menopause and unable to take estrogen supplements I don’t think I can correct the imbalance. Which may be why it’s started to show up now…
Estrogen is only one of the hormones involved. It’s true that if your estrogen is low, there won’t be much you can do about it. But if your testosterone is high you can take spironolactone, and if your progesterone is low you can probably supplement that (I’m not sure though). So it is probably still worth asking.
Rogaine and Viviscal.
I’ve also had good results with taking biotin supplements. I take 10,000 mcg daily. It took about 8 months, but my thickness improved enough that my hairstylist asked what I’d changed.
What’s a good online service to make a very simple photo book? Just pictures, and the only text are just identifying the name of the person in each picture. I’m not the most tech savvy so not looking for anything fancy, but nice. I’m the class parent for my kid’s school and this is a gift for the teachers.
I use Adoramapix to make photo books.
+1 but they’re pretty fancy and not cheap.
I liked Blurb. It was really customizable but also very user friendly. I was happy with the quality of the final product.
I just did a couple at Shutterfly. Was pretty happy with how they turned out and I found a lot of coupons to bring the price down. Also Walgreen’s has super cheap options and lots of coupons if you want to go really low end.
Shutterfly
Question about buying a house in DC — DH and I would like to stop renting and buy a place, and we know we’ll be in DC for at least the medium term (government/congress related work). We plan to try for kids in 2-3 years. My thought is to buy a small condo (1 bed + den would be ideal) in DC (we’re thinking somewhere like Adams Morgan/Mt. Pleasant) and then worry about kids and schools when the time comes. But parents and older friends have advised us to look in Arlington or Montgomery County instead and go ahead and get a bigger place in a good school district. Thoughts?
Would you want to move out of the condo when you have a baby? It’s generally not advised to buy a place that you’re going to keep for less than five years.
My thought is we’d start looking for a bigger/more school-friendly place when hypothetical kid is 2-3 years old. Is that reasonable?
It makes sense in terms of school districts, which certainly aren’t an issue until the kid is older. I’m not sure about having a baby in a 1 bedroom condo. I know people have done it, but personally I wouldn’t want to.
A toddler in a one bedroom sounds pretty cramped to me. This is a know yourself/your relationship questions
From a space perspective, yes, but you are risking getting trapped in a too small condo for longer than you want. I am probably 10 years older than you and have many acquaintances who had kids when I did who had bought starter condos and were underwater/couldn’t sell post 2008 crash. Don’t buy something you can’t see living in for at least 5 years unless you think you can hold it as a rental property when you’re ready to move on.
FWIW, I’d go to Arlington. Public schools my friends actually use, lower taxes, metro-commute from many neighborhoods.
Transaction costs of selling in DC are not insignificant. Also, selling your place with a baby can be a PITA.
The bigger place will cost a lot more to heat/cool/maintain in the years before the school district matters, so that’s a factor. Why do you want to buy now as opposed to in a few years? What’s the hurry?
Not OP, but mortgage rates would be a reason I would consider now as opposed to later.
I live in DC. I say buy the condo in a location where you want to be for the next 5 years. I see people moving to the burbs before they even have kids and I don’t get it at all. You can easily live in a 1 bed + den with a toddler, and really, beyond that (I have many friends in DC living with 1 child in a 2 bed condo and we still live in the city, although now we’re in a 3 bed with 2 kids). And you don’t have full control over your child timeline, so it could be several years before you have kids. Stay in the city and enjoy.
On where to live and what to live in with kids, this is different for everyone. We didn’t want to move to the suburbs-we like where we live and want to raise our kids there. We have a smallish three bedroom condo (~1600 square feet), with my husband, me, and two tween boys. And one bedroom is my office because I work from home, so the boys share a room. My boys go to the public middle school two blocks away. This works well for us, and we are happy as clams, but I get this is not the lifestyle everyone wants. But don’t think you HAVE to move to the burbs to have kids.
Don’t move to the ‘burbs yet. You don’t need to, especially considering you don’t know how long it will take you to conceive. But do your research on how hard it’s going to be to re-sell a 1 bedroom condo (it varies by neighborhood). You might be better off in a 2 bedroom place that you can stay in for longer. Note that most of Adams Morgan is zoned for Oyster-Adams, which is a great school.
I would push hard to find a 2 BR condo, even if that means a smaller master BR or even a 1 bath vs 1.5 baths. Having that extra room with a door to close is going to be a saving grace with a little kid through the toddler years. It’s also going to be easier to rent and/or resell the 2 BR vs the 1BR.
— mom of a 3 y/o and baby
Coming over from the moms site…
Best eyelid primer?
Best undereye dark circle treatment/concealer?
Undereye concealer is my most essential makeup item. I’ve tried maybe 50 kinds – high and low price – but now swear by the covergirl smoothers concealer – it’s $5, like a lipstick in a blue tube, thick enough, stays on, and easy to apply.
I keep coming back to MAC eyelid primer. It’s not clear and has a putty/neutral color that I like to wear instead of eye shadow sometimes and it works great as a base.
Urban decay for eyelid primer without a doubt. Treatment comes in a lot of forms, sometimes it cannot be fixed if it is hereditary. (However, if you need sleep, depuffing with cool gels/spoons, or more water/less salt, those are other treatments). Concealers I like are tarte maracuja, the garnier rollon at drugstores (if it is your color), ysl touche eclat for touch ups, and the cle de peau one. With concealers, a good undereye moisturizer underneath (to not dry you out but to not let your makeup slide) is also a big part.
I have tried several eyelid primers over the years. I am really happy with the Urban Decay products and have used them for 4 or 5 years now without any issue. I currently use the anti-aging version and think it’s great. I also have sensitive eyes/skin, and they don’t seem to bother me.
I have weirdly sensitive skin, and I love the Bare Minerals eye primer. Just ordered more.
I think the Benefit Boing concealer is pretty much foolproof and works really well on my dark circles. I also like the Nars creamy concealer, but it’s more work to apply.
I like the NARS primer better than UD. For undereye treatments, I really liked the Clinique Even Better undereye cream, but it’s quite expensive.
Trish McEvoy Eye Base Essentials, hands down. I’ve tried all the other brands. This one doesn’t crease, brightens the eyelid (or not, you choose color) and is still there when I go to remove my makeup at bedtime.
I like MAC paint pots. Bonus is that it can be a stand alone eyeshadow on casual days.
If you can get Lise Watier makeup where you live, her colour correcting wheels are the absolute best. The formula is thick enough to really cover and stay put, but doesn’t settle into fine lines. Don’t bother with the Bobbi Brown corrector – it is very thin and greasy and slides all over the face.
To clarify these products are for correcting dark circles under the eyes, not for priming eyelids. My favourite eyeshadow primer is my MAC paint pot, but if they don’t make a shade that matches your skin tone then Too Faced Shadow Insurance is also good.
Ok, my husband is dragging his feet on updating his Amazon wish list and is so difficult to buy presents for. He’s mid-30’s, a Star Trek nerd, really into history although very particular about it (he told me not to read Guns, Germs, and Steel in the first online dating message he sent me), and likes to build things in our small NYC apartment. He particularly likes Byzantine history and the history of NYC but already owns a ton of those books. If anyone has specific book recommendations on those topics, I can double check that we don’t already have it. I’ve raised the idea of getting some sort of power saw because he gets frustrated doing it by hand, but he says he doesn’t want one because it would be a pain to store. He doesn’t drink anything except water and very occasionally lemonade, but drinks an entire glass of water all at once so a fancy thermos or something wouldn’t work.
I’ve already bought him a Star Trek garden gnome (he loves gardening but we don’t have a garden anymore so we’ll display it on our bookshelf until then) and a magnetic wristband to help hold nails on his person while he builds things.
Any other suggestions? I still have about $150 to spend.
I used to buy my Star Trek nerd husband the annual Hallmark Star Trek Christmas tree ornaments every year. It was kind of hilarious because a lot of them are talking and every time you turn on the tree lights, we’d have a cacophony of things like “We are the Borg. Enjoy your holidays. Resistance is futile” and “Spock here. Happy Holidays.”
Oh we have the entire collection already! He always buys the new ones as soon as they are released. I love hearing all of that whenever our tree lights come on.
My favorite is “This is Captain Janeway of the Federation vessel DeltaFlyer. We are on a mission of PEACEFUL EXPLORATION!!!”
I love Worf’s “I wish you a most honorable holiday.”
Sweater, jeans, slippers, robe, night out gift cert, tickets to a play (OMG everyone should see Dear Evan Hansen right now). Don’t feel tied to his particular interests.
Oh he’s also really into photography and has a nice Nikon DSLR camera and a few fancy lenses. I can’t afford the other lenses he wants, but something photography-related could work.
Is he a coffee/tea drinker? Some of my photog friends have these lens thermoses and they’re really cute. https://www.amazon.com/Improved-AM-MUG-226228-668-Button/dp/B00PF6GWBA/
A tripod
He already has a full size one that he likes. I’d love a recommendation for a travel friendly tripod though. That’s a great idea!
I have the MeFoto day trip tripod. It comes with nice little carrying case and it’s not too heavy. I have a Canon 7D which is a pretty heavy body and it is nice and sturdy. You could do the travel tripod, a remote shutter release (relatively inexpensive on Amazon) and a book on astrophotography.
Other people use Gorillapods but I don’t find them sturdy enough for a larger DSLR.
How about printing some of his photos? Framing them? There are a few apps that have instagrams/other photos printed into little pictures or magnets, etc. Maybe a nice camera bag?
I know I just replied above, but I think printing his photos would be awesome! Bay Photo does metal prints, and if your DH is into landscape photography, the metal prints are absolutely gorgeous.
Thank you both! We actually had our favorite wedding photo printed on metal (its an ultraviolet image) and there is some blank space on that wall next to it. A couple of his travel photos printed on metal would look great there.
Thanks for the specific tripod rec too Lillers!
Have you checked out the Star Trek stuff on ThinkGeek? That’s my go-to site for my nerd. Would he like to see YOU in a Star Trek costume? :)
I was going to say this too – but if you have the gnome, you might have already done it! On ThinkGeek they also have a very cool looking mug that looks like a camera lens. I got it for my friend. (And bought my husband and brother various Star Trek items!) They also have 20% off right now…
I did! They are always stop #1. And, yes, he would like to see me in a uniform… and has! We are talking about an extreme level of Star Trek nerdiness. There were even Trek elements in our wedding.
He doesn’t drink coffee or tea either, so sadly a mug is out. But would be a great idea otherwise.
I’m currently looking at novelty t-shirts and might make another ThinkGeek order.
Trip to comic Con or a similar con?
Haha this would be a great idea, but I’m not kidding when I say that he has “retired” from conventions. Thanks though!
What about a Great Courses (or similar) audio history class?
Oh that is a good idea too. Thanks!
There is one of these on photography that my Dad is doing. He really likes it, but I can’t remember who the photographer is. Someone moderately famous in the photography world. It’s on CD/DVD; there is a course, and the guy gives assignments of what to practice and such.
A walking tour around NYC? There may be some focused on architecture, for example.
The Tenement Museum has a variety of walking tours if that sort of thing would be up his alley.
I second the Tenement Museum. That American Institute of Architects also has books about specific places and does walking tours.
Great idea! The Tenement Museum is also something we’ve wanted to go see but still haven’t gotten around to. Thanks for the ideas everyone!
They do evening events like tasting menus plus a tour which are really cool.
Also along the same lines, maybe a private tour of the Met from Museum Hack
There’s a great Vietnamese restaurant a few doors down from the Tenement Museum. It’s called An Choi. Or you could do Katz’s Deli, of course.
Not sure what kind of saw your husband needs – the three I use most often are a circular saw, a jigsaw, and a miter saw. If circular saw, check out the dremel saw max – its very small but fairly functional – I’ve used it on 3/4″ plywood and actually prefer it to my big circular saw. Think it’s around $100. Jigsaws are also fairly inexpensive and very small to store too – mine is junk but you should be able to get a decent one for under $100 on amazon (porter cable, skil, dewalt are brands that would likely be pretty good but read the reviews). Stocking stuffer – extra saw blades!
Stocking stuffer suggestion for your history / science buff- a game called Timelines that goes over well with my nerdy family. They have various versions like world events, inventions, etc.
That dremel saw max looks absolutely perfect! Thank you!
And Timelines is very fun. We have the original version I think so I’ll look into the other version as well.
Hi Actuary, I’m an actuary. SOA or CAS?
Signed, FCAS
For NYC history books I’d recommend The Power Broker and The Death and Life of Great American Cities if he hasn’t already read either.
I don’t think we have The Life and Death of Great American Cities. Adding it to the list. Thanks!
How about the book “Emperor of All Maladies” — a history of cancer? Fascinating – one of my favorite books all year. On that note, what’s his beef with Guns, Germs and Steel? That’s one of my all-time favorites!
Something about too much reliance on “geographic determinism.” I still haven’t read it, but will at some point. It is hard for me to fully understand his problem with it without reading it myself.
He’s a keeper. Guns, Germs, and Steel is the bane of professional historians.
I don’t feel so bad that I couldn’t get into it then. I normally love history books and it’d been recommended to me, but it’s been sitting in my to-be-read pile for months now.
You all are fantastic! I’ve now got great ideas lined up for Christmas, our wedding anniversary, and his birthday. I find him so difficult to buy gifts for and you all helped a ton. Thank you so much!
I’m going with the Dremel saw max for Christmas and possibly a remote shutter release for his camera. For our anniversary I’m going to get some of his travel pictures printed on metal to hang next to our metal wedding photo. And for his birthday I’ll likely go with the travel tripod and a book on astrophotography. And then the tenement museum tasting menu and tour for a fun date night.
If he’s into NYC history, highly recommend the Power Broker about Robert Moses, if he hasn’t already read it.
He works as a bureaucrat too, so we actually have 2 copies of The Power Broker. His and mine since he didn’t want me to highlight and take notes in his copy. Great rec though.
If anyone else is interested in stuff like this, we have the Ric Burns documentary about New York. It contains a whole section about Robert Moses and includes my favorite story about how Laguardia airport exists because Mayor Laguardia refused to get off a plane in Newark since his ticket said NYC. It’s a great documentary.
If he likes Byzantine history what about the neighbouring empires? I’m very much into Ancient Egypt but I also read crossovers with other cultures they were trading/interacting/fighting with. So for me it’s Ancient Mesopotamia and then the Persians, Greeks then finally the Romans.
That’s a good idea and something I’d be interested in too. Can you recommend any titles?
I hope you still see this: my dad specifically requested this Christmas:
The Silk Roads: A New History of The World, by Peter Frankopan
here is the summary from wikipedia: The traditional view is that Western civilization descends from the Romans, who were in turn heir to the Greeks, who, in some accounts, were heirs to the Egyptians. Frankopan argues that the Persian empire was the center point of the rise of humanity.
Might be something for him?
Oh interesting. I put it on my shopping list for the future. Thanks!
I present to you, my husband’s favourite Christmas gift of all time: http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/dea2/
We have one! I think we’ve exhausted the regular ThinkGeek options at this point. I check every year to see what new Star Trek items they’ve come out with.
I think this is a kind of weird question, but I’d love to hear what people have to say: I’m a fourth year associate at a firm with 14 attorneys. All of the partners think that one attorney (junior partner now, mid-level when I started) is an amazing writer. I’ve read a lot of his stuff, and not only do I not think he’s an amazing writer, I don’t actually think he’s a very good writer.
It’s not really relevant, except that there have been numerous complaints from our bosses that the rest of the associates aren’t very good writers, and I know writing is a weak point for me, so it’s something I really want to work on. But I think several of the senior associates are much better writers than this particular partner. So the question is, do I trust my own evaluation of what is good writing, or do I trust that of my bosses, who all have 30+ years of experience in the industry?
For the record, I’ve spent the past four years actually and in good faith trying to figure out what they find appealing about his writing, and I just… don’t understand, his writing is confusing and difficult to follow and involves layers of string cites that you have to diagram to make any sense of. His research and analysis skills are great, but I don’t think his writing is very good.
This is easy. You trust your bosses. Not because they have more experience or are objectively right, but because they are your bosses and you have to do what they want. “Good writing” is relatively subjective and by endorsing this guy’s writing, they’re telling you they want his particular style. You have to follow that style, even if you don’t think it’s good.
It is conceivable that, at some point in the future, I might want to write for an audience other than my bosses. Like, say, a potential future boss, in which case I would have to make a decision to trust myself, or trust what my current bosses are telling me… I’m looking for input into how to make that decision.
You’ll adapt to a potentially different style at that future time. If you want to keep your current job, you write the way your bosses want you to write. Period.
Mostly agree with this. You have to write with your own vice but you can adjust your writing “style” to more closely match someone else’s style, esp when you are writing things that will be signed by someone else. It’s possible that this jr partner is mirroring the style of the other partners, which is why they may like it. He may also do certain things that you could easily incorporate, such as string cites with good parentheticals. Also look for repeated phrases that you could incorporate .. lawyers looove to use the same near-and-dear-to-their-heart phrasing in briefs. I would also ask for feedback on your writing. Becoming a good writer is a process and this jr partner is only one data point, but a data point nonetheless.
I disagree. Trust your gut, maybe. Just because not very good writing is the kind that your bosses like doesn’t mean it’s good. Perhaps incorporate it to move up in your current job, but I think reading more and from a variety of sources can improve your own writing.
Have you asked one of those partners why they think junior-partner is a good writer?
I think there a bunch of ways to define “good” writing. For example, the standard that applies to legal writing is completely different than the one that applies to fiction, and within legal writing good contract drafting and good argumentation are also pretty different. It’s hard to say in the abstract why they think this guy is good and you don’t.
Ask them what you can do to improve your writing. Ask the junior partner what his writing process is, ask him for research tips, do whatever you can to get him to mentor you in this area. Take any opportunities you can to improve as much as you can while you’re at this firm.
Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but I just went through something similar. My last firm hated my writing but never gave me any actual feedback as to what I was doing wrong or how I could improve. I was just terrible, period. Meanwhile, this other (male) attorney got high accolades for his briefs that were riddled with paragraph-long run-on sentences. I just didn’t get it. I ended up leaving that firm for a variety of reasons and now I’m in a firm with a group of people who love my writing. I’ve become their go-to brief writer. You should certainly do what you can to improve, but if at the end of the day your writing style just doesn’t mesh with your superiors, you might want to keep the door open to other opportunities. I wish I’d left sooner, tbh.
I definitely think that gender has something to do with it… and it’s not like my firm is super functional to begin with. I toyed with posting this question or “What is the appropriate way to respond when your boss tells you in great detail about his fantasies with his house cleaner?”
… when your boss what???
I don’t know what the best way to respond is, but what I’d probably actually do is laugh uncomfortably and run away. Good night. That’s so unwelcome.
Well look, if you don’t respect your bosses, you don’t trust their opinions/judgment, and you don’t think you have much to learn from them, then it’s time to look for other opportunities. It’ll be much easier to move as a 4th year than it will be to move as an 8th year whose growth has been stunted.
You can tell him you fantasize about yours as well… You have dreams about a floor so clean you can eat off it.
When I worked for an appellate court, the court had a very definitive style. We were lucky, in a sense, because the expectations/rules of the style were spelled out. What I learned is that it is definitely possible to adopt a new writing style that is dissimilar to your own and that being able to adapt your style will likely make you a better writer.
However, there’s a jr partner at my firm that is similarly praised for a certain thing. For the life of me, I cannot understand the praise, so maybe your jr partner is just talented at cultivating the perception.
Are you sure they mean writing and not research / analysis?
Can you describe for us what his writing style is like, and what yours is? Clearly identifying the difference will help you adjust, and maybe let you do so without totally changing your style. It could be anything from tone of voice to organization to grammar to conciseness to how you articulate legal concepts or logically lay out ideas….
Do your partners make edits to your writing? If yes, review them carefully. If no, ask them to.
My guess is that his writing is probably always 100% technically correct — all those compound sentences are probably punctuated with complete accuracy — even if it’s ultimately hard to read. Your bosses might be sticklers for the rules of grammar and punctuation, but they might not care as much about readability. Even if your writing (or the writing of the senior associates you were mentioning) is less complicated, if there’s any error at all in your grammar, etc., they will probably deem his to be better. He may be the guy who always points out the obscure edits that no one else sees, so he’s earned a reputation of being the expert, even if he doesn’t stand a chance of getting hired to write anywhere outside of a law firm. You need to learn how to perfect the accuracy of your writing like his — then if you want to modify your style slightly (something your clients would possibly appreciate!) you can — but you need to get ‘perfect’ on accuracy first.
This is an ongoing source of humor at my small-ish law firm. One partner is hyper-critical of all work but his own (i.e., has called the brief writing of one associate “slop” when that attorney is a more than adequate writer). However, his writing is poorly proofread, full of unnecessarily long block quotes, and each brief contains the phrase “As we shall see” at least 2 times. Solution to keep the peace in the office: we teach new associates working with him to insert an “As we shall see” in all briefs for his files. We can’t win all of the style battles!
New Tampanian here. Regarding the Brielle sheets – what “type” or thread count of sheets are the ones you bought?
Almost said I didn’t remember until I recalled that Amazon tracks all:
Brielle 400 Thread Count Egyptian Cotton Sateen Sheet Set
I’m spending a few days in Newark/New York around New Years. Suggestions of attire to keep warm? I have a light puffy coat, and plenty of sweaters/scarves/sweatshirts I could layer with. Will this be sufficient? Can someone give me an idea of what they might wear on a weekend when walking around the city? Do I wear jeans with leggings underneath?
I currently live in Southern California where I obviously don’t face low temperatures. I went to school in North Carolina, so I can handle those winters just fine (a snowy day with a high of 30 is probably the worst I’ve seen), but I’m not sure how to adequately pack for New York winter. I am not interested in purchasing a better coat since it won’t get much use after this trip.
Thanks!
I think you have to check the weather closer to your trip. It could be 20, it could be 50. On average the high this time of year is around 40. You’ll probably be fine with what you describe. I wouldn’t wear leggings underneath your jeans, I think just jeans would be fine for most people. Definitely wear boots. Knee high ones are less trendy than ankle boots, but they provide a lot more warmth.
+1 – you just can’t know this far out. Especially since the Midwest and NE are getting some really unseasonable temps (more late Jan deep freeze than Dec cold, at least around here).
Jeans with knee high socks, if you need extra warmth. A coat that covers your bu!t (thigh-length at least). Hat, scarf, gloves. Layers: tank, long sleeve shirt, cardigan/sweater, quilted/fleece vest, so you can adjust as the temp goes up/down for the day (or for the building).
Just make sure you layer – I feel like West Coasters and southerners don’t do that and seem to think 1 shirt with a coat is enough – it rarely is in NYC unless you get up to the 40s. In the 30s it tends to be fairly windy, so wear a few layers under the coat and if you do leggings/thermals under your jeans, you’ll be super comfortable esp if you intend to spend the day in and out in sub 35 degree temps (though don’t do that if it’s going to hit 40 at all — you will be miserable indoors in heated places).
First, it’s not as bad as you’re imagining. It’s not like Canada- or Midwest- level cold in the city. Second, the worst parts are a) slush mountains in the curb cuts and b) wind. You’re going to need – really, need – waterproof boots, ideally that come up to your knees, to walk through the slush mountains. Otherwise you will have wet feel and be infinitely more miserable. A jacket that stops the wind is preferable so, something synthetic is going to generally be better than a wool peacoat. If I’m going out on a snowy day all day, I might wear fleece lined tights (yes, I said it), or heattech leggings under pants. But if I’m just going out for an hour or two, or just transiting (the subway/platforms can be a LOT hotter/stuffier than the street level), I just wear regular clothes. Layers aren’t your friend on the subway.
Or maybe not. We often don’t have any snow until well after NYE.
It’s not that bad in NY/NJ. I am a Californian who spent 4 years working in NYC on and off. In preparation I bought snow boots, a heavy coat, hats, scarves etc. I really didn’t need all that. I never wore the snow boots & just gave them to Goodwill this fall.
I was fine in my usual skirt/tights/tall boots combo on the coldest days. I did end up buying a very lightweight puffy coat, mainly because it was easier to travel with than a heavy wool coat (easy to smush on top of my suitcase in the overhead bin) but for a single trip I wouldn’t buy a new coat.
That’s fine, it doesn’t get super cold unless there’s some freak event like a polar vortex going on. If you’re cold, I recommend layering a pair of fleece tights under your jeans. If there’s going to be a lot of snow, you’ll probably want some type of waterproof shoe/boot. I would wait and see what the weather forecast is, though.
I absolutely hate the cold weather! I have a heavy down coat that hits my knees and it is heaven! I wear a tank top/short sleeve shirt, long sleeve shirt, hoodie, and winter coat along with a hat, scarf, gloves, and boots. I know it’s a bit extreme! If you’re walking around NYC all day I suggest you wear lots of layers.
Thanks everyone! I will be traveling for a week leading up to NYE and going straight to New York, so I won’t be able to predict the weather far enough out when packing– but I will pack plenty of layers to be adaptable. Thanks again!
I come from a similar warm climate and lived in NYC for 4 years. It will be cold; don’t trust all the people who grew up in cold climates. My advice: go to Uniqlo and buy a few Heattech items (I’d go with 2 camisoles, leggings and tights). They’re very light and will keep you warm without bulk. Also, is your puffy coat long and water-resistant? It needs to be. Does it have a hood? If not, pack earmuffs and/or a good hat. Don’t forget gloves. And yes, waterproof knee-high boots are indispensable–just make sure they have good traction (rainboots usually don’t).
My mom doesn’t use a computer or have a smart phone. My dad has my old iphone 4 that he uses to track his exercise (connected to home wifi, no data plan) and he has a laptop computer. I would like to get an Echo Dot for my parents so my mom could ask Alexa the questions that she is always asking my dad or asking him to google. Can the Dot connect to their wifi or does she need to have her own device with Alexa to use it. I don’t have one so I’m not familiar with how it works.
FWIW, I’ve found that Alexa is not very useful for random questions – we use her for a timer, playing music, playing Jeopardy, asking the weather, asking for news headlines etc. You have to enable specific “skills” for the Echo/Dot to be able to do those things, FYI.
But random questions like “what time are the fireworks in Philadelphia” will get you nowhere!
ETA: You only need wifi, technically, but to configure the “skills” etc. I don’t know how you’d do it without a laptop or smartphone.
You just need wifi. Think of it like a mini, basic computer in it’s own right.
Awesome. Thanks.
You do need a device to set it up, but yes, otherwise just WiFi.
They will need an Echo account on some smart phone to get it going, but they can use your dad’s for that. Then once it’s up and running it’s just WiFi.
At what point (time wise – months, years, etc) did and your significant other become “serious” (i.e. introducing them to people as BF/GF, meeting friends, planning trips and talking about the future. etc.) after the dating stage? I had a talk with girlfriends recently and it seems like everyone’s timeline is different – its interesting to see different people’s perspectives.
After about two weeks, we were spending every night together, introducing each other as BF/GF, and making plans for the future (I’m not exaggerating when I say baby names were picked out before we had been dating for a month). He met my parents after a couple of months when they visited our city and he and I flew to meet his parents after about four months of dating. We didn’t actually get engaged until we’d been dating almost two years and we got married about a year after we got engaged, but we both knew from a couple of weeks in that we were 100% getting married. We were 24 when we met.
I met his parents (who were conveniently in town) after about four months. He met mine within the first year. I didn’t meet two of this siblings until we were dating 3+ years…
I was 28 and he was 32 when we met. We were practically living together about 2 months in (maybe a bit sooner than that). He jokes that we got serious so quickly because his apartment was a significantly better commute than mine, which was true but it also just felt comfortable almost right away. I met his sister at about the 3 month mark because she was in town and lives abroad so it was really the best opportunity to meet her. We also took our first mini vacation at about this time and said I love you for the first time. I met his parents and he met my family (across the country) at about 6 months on our first big vacation. We officially moved in together around the 8 month mark and knew we were on the path to getting married but didn’t get engaged until 2 years in and then married 1.5 years after that.
We met in high school and were friends. He moved away for college and then transferred to my college when we were 20 (not because of me, just something he wanted to do.) We reconnected by literally running into each other and exchanged phone numbers and started dating. After about 3 months, we started to get serious. We knew by about 5-6 months in that we would get married. We officially moved into a new place together after a year of dating (though we were spending lots of night together before this.) We got married after dating for almost 3 years. That was 11 years ago.
We had already met each other’s parents in high school and he met my siblings then as well. We took our first vacation together around 6 months. I met more of his family early on because he had a family reunion and invited me to go to one of the events with him.
About 3 weeks (we met in college). Met the parents and siblings at his graduation (I’m younger). Were and still are totally nuts for each other :)
We met when I was 23 and he was just turning 29. We started spending lots of time together within the first few months of dating and after the first six months, we were together virtually every night. We went on our first overnight trip (just one or two nights) after 3 months together. We went on our first “real” vacation of about a week just shy of our 1-year dating anniversary, and I think that’s when we both figured out we would probably get married. He met my family after 4 months and I met his at around 9 months (they live out of state). We moved in together after 2 years of dating, got engaged after 3, and got married after 4. We’re coming up on our second wedding anniversary soon. :)
First date. Sometimes – when you know, you know.
Married 17 years.
Same here. We got married six months after we met.
We became exclusive three weeks after our first date. Our first overnight trip (which also happened to be our first overnight together) was after about four months because we happened to be in the same city for business so we shared a room. We met each other’s parents after seven months and said I love you after eight. But we didn’t meet each other’s kids until after a year because we wanted to be pretty sure the relationship was permanent before our kids met the person we were dating. We dated for three years before we decided to get married and got married four years after we met. Our wedding night was the first time we had s3x. We both think it was worth the wait.
I knew he was the one after about a month. But with kids in the mix, we played it slow. And I’m glad we did.
Need a small gift idea for my MIL. Hoping to find a beauty product or small gift set for less than $25 (this is to add to another gift already purchased). Ideally something from Sephora. I’m thinking nice hand lotion? Or some sort of really great “everyone can use it” kind of makeup product that isn’t dependent on skin type or coloring? Does anyone have a go-to favorite product that’s great for gifting? She’s not super picky (was very poor most of her life and never splurged on herself until very recently, so she really doesn’t know much about any beauty brands). What’s a great little luxury that any (60-something) woman would love? I’m feeling stumped, and Sephora’s website is slow for some reason, so even navigating the options is driving me crazy. help!
How about this one? It’s a combination of Fresh products – skin care, sugar lip treatment, etc. I’d be psyched to get it. http://www.marieclaire.com/beauty/g3276/makeup-gift-sets/?slide=4
Would she be interested in a collection of sheet masks? I think those are fun and actually make my skin pretty glowy.
There’s also a Clinique gift set that I think would be fun, because it’s a mix of skin care and makeup.
Love that gift (and this list), but these are both more expensive than I can justify given it’s supposed to be a little add-on to a more substantial gift. Really hoping to keep it under $25 or $30 if possible.
Oh sorry, I missed the $ limit! I love the idea of L’Occitaine hand cream. Or individual sheet masks (I like the “Leaders” brand) are kind of fun and silly and cheap.
Sometimes Target has a gift pack of Burt’s Bees lip balm in different shades and flavors. Or, if you got a cute little makeup bag, you could choose 4 balms and customize it for her. Maybe 20 bucks?
L’Occitane hand cream. I like the shea butter one best but they’re all good. I love getting them because they are nicer than anything I would buy for myself, but not so ridiculously out there that I feel uncomfortable or profligate when I use them.
L’Occitane Almond Shower Oil is also awesome
Origins has a set of 4 of their face masks for under $25 at Sephora.
Here’s the link: http://m.sephora.com/product/P80697148?icid2=skugrid&skuId=1862176