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I recently took a long look through AllSaints offerings, and I'm kind of obsessed with half the store. They're edgy but refined somehow, like this lovely silk and sheer polyester tunic top. For weekends, I think it would look great with some of the moto-leggings or coated leggings that we're seeing this season, or perhaps worn with regular leggings and flat over-the-knee boots. Love. It's available in sizes 0-10 for $215. (Also nice: this awesome satin dress for $360.) Myrthe Top
Psst: here's a more affordable version, and a plus-sized one.
Sales of note for 9.10.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Save up to 40% on new markdowns
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- White House Black Market – 30% off new arrivals
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Senior Attorney
Love AllSaints but I just don’t think their clothing suits me. I always feel like a poser when I try it on…
Here’s a question I copied from You Look Fab (with permission of the poster) that I thought we would have fun with. My answer is “buy the shoes,” but I’m interested to hear what you ladies think!
“So, this is hypothetical, but I’m working on an application for a job in the corporate communications department for a well-known footwear brand. Their product was always far too expensive for my grad student budget, so I have never owned any of their shoes, although their designs intrigue me.
“In the event that I actually get an interview with them, do you think it would be an unwritten expectation that I turn up wearing their shoes? My inclination is to think no — after all, I’m applying because of the work itself, not because I am a fangirl. But then I don’t have a background in marketing so I don’t know if this sort of thing is totally obvious to insiders, and wearing a competitor’s brand would instant mark me out as “not one of us”.
“Thoughts?”
Wildkitten
I also love All Saints. They are what I wear in my fantasy life where I am a professional badass instead of just a professional.
How much do the shoes cost? So much that you’d be out a lot if you buy them and don’t get the job? Or could you reasonably wear them to other non-grad-student work?
Anonymous
Wear the shoes.
Lisa
Wear the shoes.
Em
I would say it depends on the brand (how “fashioney” are they?), how much the shoes are, and whether you can actually afford them.
Killer Kitten Heels
SIL works on the business side of fashion, and almost always tries to incorporate a piece from the company’s current collection into her outfit when interviewing. I don’t know whether it’s expected or necessary, but I do know she’s had lots of success on interviews, so anecdotally, I’d say if the interviewee can swing the cost of the shoes (and they aren’t one-time-use-only if the person doesn’t get the job) it’d probably be a good idea to buy them.
Flower
I would also get the shoes, assuming they are shoes one would typically wear to work. If it was something like Converse or Crocs, I’d more likely abstain.
Batgirl
I know this isn’t a tech group, but I recently treated myself to a new Macbook Air about 6 weeks ago (and you can only return them for a month, apparently) and am experiencing a lot of pain/swelling in my thumbs and ring/pinky fingers as a result of using it. Has anyone had any similar experiences? Any solutions short of selling the thing? Any recommendations for where to sell it if I do? I’m so bummed that this isn’t working out for me. With the additional features I added, this is looking like it will be a $1400 purchase I will seriously regret!
kc
can you just buy a mouse to use with it? (not sure if this is an option for you depending on how you work). That sounds really weird though I’ve never heard of that.
Batgirl
It’s sort of carpal tunnel but in the fingers. That’s the only way I can describe it. I need an ergonomic keyboard at work but have never had trouble on other laptops. I think it may be the trackpad (my pinky and ring fingers floating while I use it) and the keyboard being set further back (I can’t rest my thumbs for some reason). I have pretty small hands, which may be part of it. I’m planning to buy a mouse or lap desk but I’d love to find a solution so that I could keep using it as a regular laptop (without needing to use a freestanding keyboard).
Red Beagle
You can plug in a USB mouse (any old kind – not the apple kind) and take some of the stress from your fingers/hands.
Cat
are the keys at a different angle from your hands than you’re used to? Would a wrist-rest help? Are the keys stiff because they’re new and require more pressure?
Batgirl
Keys aren’t stiff, but they are shallower, if that makes sense. I don’t know how I could use a wrist-rest given where the trackpad is, but I’ll try that, too!
iPhone/iPhoto help?
Is this your first time with a chiclet-style keyboard? Totally speculating, but one guess would be that you may be used to the keyboards with deep keycaps (the older style where you could pop the keys off to clean underneath) and you press hard on the keys–with the new chiclet keyboard this habit results in you crushing the outer fingers on the laptop shell and even just smashing your finger joints into the keys once the key is fully pressed down. If you think this might be the case, try putting something small (dimes?) around the edge of the keyboard that will rattle annoyingly the harder you type, so that you can retrain yourself to type softer. And if you have a deep-key keyboard at work, ask if you can get a new one with chiclet style keys as well so that you can fully break the habit and not slip back into it (I have a wireless Dell one so I know it’s possible for PCs).
I got my Air in 2010 when the current body style came out as a revision on the first Air, and I love it. It’s still going strong and I take it on trips over my iPad because it’s lighter and more convenient (my iPad case always flops over–the Air can stand up on its own). So, I hope it works out for you!
Batgirl
Thanks, that’s helpful! I suspect it’s how I’m holding my hands–or the extra space between the keyboard and the edge of the laptop, but it’s hard to say.
ORD
Kind of unrelated, but I have to say that my Das Keyboard mechanical keyboard is my best work-related splurge. It is such a pleasure to type on this thing — it’s the old style one with clicky keys. I type so fast on it. I see they make one for Macs.
Anonymous
I have this exact same scenario! I just got my air about a month ago, and I’ve already been to my doctor because of the pain in my hands. She said get a real mouse.
Batgirl
What kind of doctor did you go to? General practitioner or occupational therapist? Anything other than the mouse suggestion? Thanks so much!
Ellen
Yay! Open thread’s! I love Open thread’s and this Satin dress, but Kat, it is expensive for us to keep buying stuff like this!
Anyway, I can help the OP. Yes, it is the chicklet keyboard on the MACBOOK Air — I have one and I have a wireless keyboard that I use at home and at work so that I do NOT have to type alot on it. I was thinkeing of getting rid of it and tryeing the MacBook pro, but I was told that was to heavy for me. I like the larger screen. But the Macbook Air is very light and you can slip it into a large purse if you want, which is nice since it is NOT bulkey. I was thinkeing I would get one of the new IPAD Air’s, but I do to much work to make those practiceal.
The manageing partner has a consultant that is going to set up a new network for us once we move to a new place, and the manageing partner asked each of us what equipment we need. He just has Lynn do all of his stuff for him so he does not care, but Dad says to get an IMAC at work AND a new MacBook — Pro or Air for when I travel to court or to see cleint’s. I know the cleint’s like to see me with a computer b/c they know how savvy peeople who use them are. And the Judge also love’s to see me look case’s up on the fly if he is NOT familiar with them. His clerk is goofy and loves to stare at me in court, but as long as he recomends that our side win’s, I do NOT care if he is stareing all day! YAY!!!!
The manageing partner’s brother used MY shower yesterday, and left alot of hair in the drain. He is almost bald so I am kind of grossed out as to where that hair all came from. He said they are workeing on his toilet so he did NOT have running water there and wanted to shower so that he would be fresh in the evenening. FOOEY b/c who knows what he was doieng all day in my apartement that got him all sweatey. I know he was NOT doeing any work on his apartement! That is what the contractor’s are for!
Noah still is interested. He called to ask if I wanted to go to the courthouse to get him a brochure on med mal insurance recoverie’s. I told him I would the next time I go into the regular court house, not the WC wing. I think he may want to start dateing me. If he doe’s, Grandma Leyeh will be THRILLED! YAY!!!!
Bonnie
Meant this for Senior Attorney’s thread:
Depends on just how much the shoes cost. If they cost e.g. $700, I would not wear them but would mention that I hope to one day be able to buy a pair.
Senior Attorney
I agree with that. I’d spend up to a few hundred and consider it a job hunting expense, but not a super ridiculous ginormous amount.
anonsg
Not sure if this helps or not, but I got a keyboard cover for my macbook and I actually type with it on, which makes typing feel more like you would if you had a separate keyboard – as in, without the cover, typing on the keyboard feels like you’re typing on a flat surface, like if you were drumming your fingers on a desk, which is why the keys are so light, but with the cover, you have to push on the cover layer and there is some small space between the cover and the key so your strokes are a little “heavier” so to speak. It doesn’t hurt the keyboard I think, but it makes the typing experience a little different.
I second the recommendations on getting a mouse. I use a wireless mouse at home sometimes. Also, is it because you are worried resting your wrist on the laptop when you type will cause the trackpad to detect touch and you might click on something? If that’s the case you can turn off the “tap to click” feature so that in order to click, you have to push down on the trackpad which makes the “click” sound. Another thing to consider is the posture when you’re using the laptop.
Batgirl
Thanks, this is really helpful advice!
TO Lawyer
I love all saints – I’m crushing on this top SO hard even so it’s so simple
Anonymous
Same here! I can’t quite figure out how long it is though- I’m short so there’s a sweet spot for long shirts where it’s clearly a shirt, this one might end up being like a dress, not sure.
Kiki
Oven ever heard of all saints but I want to order this top. I love the sort of olive green color too.
Do people like the black or the color better in it?
meme
What are your favorite washable work pants? I work at a business casual law firm. I’d like to stock up for more casual days (bonus points if they look a bit dressy but are actually washable). I have some JCrew chinos that I like. I recently tried some stuff from The Limited’s suiting line which includes washable pants and skirts (poly). I love the skirts, but the pants don’t fit right and feel cheap. I live in a cold winter climate, so ankle pants are out. I prefer boot or trouser cuts, but am open to slim cuts as well.
Boston Legal Eagle
Express Editor pants are my favorite.
Anon
+1
housecounsel
Editor pants are amazing. I also love the Banana Republic Sloan pants. I’ve always dry-cleaned them, but was told just today that they can be washed and hung up to dry.
CountC
Oh how I wish they were cut for my body.
Becky
I love the Gap Modern Bootcut pants. I’m also fond of the NY&Co pants that were posted here a week or so ago, and I think they’re still having a sale.
meme
Thanks for responding! Follow up question: The Gap modern bootcut look good, but on the website it says they’re “dry clean,” though they are synthetic. Do you wash these with success?
christineispink
I bought the Gap Modern Bootcut pants in 2009 so they may be a bit different now, but I’ve been lucky washing them in a mesh bag (like for lingerie or other delicates) and then hang dry. I dry clean maybe once a year when I want someone to freshen up the nice front pleat/crease but otherwise these are great. I think I either wrote in to Kat or just randomly posted in threads when I first bought them because I thought they were so great.
Still have them, still wear them. Caveat: I definitely own too many pairs of work pants so I wear them probably 5-10x a year.
Susie
“Dry Clean” generally means okay to wash. “Dry Clean Only” means exactly that – do not try to wash yourself!
Anonymous
Except a lot of Theory clothes are marked dry clean only, and after talking to my dry cleaner, I started washing and ironing suit pants, dresses and skirts and button-front shirts myself. So far, everything has come out well but YMMV.
Anonymous
I like the J. Crew Campbell Capri, except I order them in the tall length and they’re more like regular pant length on me. They wash great.
https://www.jcrew.com/womens_category/pants/Slim/PRDOVR~A0072/A0072.jsp
Unicorn
Piggybacking: with a barely boot or boot cut trouser, does it look weird to wear flats? I have not really figured out flats that don’t look strange to me with wider pants. Helps?
Anon
Agree with this. I wear exclusively flats, and I also wear exclusively straight/skinny leg pants. Wide leg pants always end up looking like bell bottoms.
meme
I wear flats with bootcut or trousers. I find the length of the pants matters more than the width of the leg opening. With wider openings, the length has to be just right for the shoe. I feel like there’s more wiggle room with straight or skinny pants.
Anon.
Something came up – just wondering if I am a complete jerk or one of those helicoptery people or something.
Young child, about 3 years old falls of ATV type vehicle. Was probably sitting between the legs of his 13 year old brother (they rode that way when dad say them driving earlier). Older boy claims he hit a sharp turn, little bro swung off and got run over. Hard to say if that’s what happened or not but no real reason to believe older boy was lying. Prior occasions dad had stopped little brother from riding on the ATV beside his brother or sitting on the ATV while in motion but not actually in the seat part. Dad basically was okay with little bro riding the ATV as long as he was in the lap of his brother even though he had been warned by friends not to allow this.
Now – am I a jerk for thinking the dad in this situation was probably negligent? Kid is now missing chunks of one foot and some toes. General consensus from everyone who is not me is that accidents happen.
First Year Anon
Yes- i would never put my 3 year old in an ATV.
But i also think ATVs are super dangerous in general.
Wildkitten
What’s your relationship to the situation?
Anonymous
Does it matter? Q is “am I a jerk for thinking dad is negligent”. Answer is clearly no, no matter what your connection is.
Wildkitten
My advice is very different if it’s your kid or if you saw it on the 10 pm news.
Anonymous
Yeah dads an idiot. Clearly negligent. 3 year olds don’t just get in accidents on ATVs because only a moron would let them any where near one.
Unicorn
I don’t think you’re a jerk. I agree with you, that was wildly irresponsible. For example, if I had kids and my DH allowed this, he too would be missing some toes.
Anonymous
Absolutely negligent. This is not an “accidents happen” situation. ATVs are extremely dangerous for anyone, and I cannot fathom allowing a tiny little three year old to ride on one with an adult, let alone a 13 year old!
tesyaa
agree, agree, agree
Edubs
completely agree – and that’s also too much responsibility for a 13 year old, which may or may not understand the consequence of their actions (think they’re invincible). Now not only does the three year old have to suffer with so many issues to overcome (sports, etc), but the 13 year old could grow up thinking he caused it. Even if he thought it was an accident, that’s also emotionally scarring.
Ginjury
Slightly disagree. I think it would be fine for a parent to take their kid on a very slow ATV ride, but with a 13 yr old sibling and other people (probably young teens) riding their ATVs nearby? Absolutely not.
Ellen
Dad is a dork. I take it you are not still MARRIED to him, but if you are, think of findeing someone else, and takeing the kids with you. Rosa would never put up with a dummy that did that with her kid’s! FOOEY! If you are still in love with this doofus, that is to bad, but he seems like a doosh! FOOEY!
Anonymous
For me it hinges on where they were driving. An off-road trip has a different risk than a slow joy ride around the driveway.
FWIW, I’m the parent of a child who at 3-years old went on a slow joy ride around the driveway on the lap of her 13 year old nephew on his ATV but who wouldn’t have allowed him to drive her out to even the fairly level pasture (neither would any of the responsible adults there or probably even my responsible nephew).
Anonymous
Nah. Still think that’s stupid. A three year old can get joy from a box. He/she doesn’t need to be on an ATV.
Anonymous
They can also get joy from pony rides, which parents stand in line and pay money for. Or swimming pools. Or slides.
Anonymous
Sorry, but none of these things are as inherently dangerous as a 13 year old driving an ATV.
Anonymous
Right. And all the things you listed are age appropriate and reasonable. Your three year old is required to be restrained in a car seat in a car. Why would you let them lose in an ATV, which is really just a car minus the safety features. I’m glad your kid is fine but that doesn’t make it ok.
Anonymous
I highly doubt either of you have ever been on an ATV.
Spirograph
errrrm , I’m trying to remember exactly, but I’m pretty sure I took my one-year-old on an ATV with me. Of course, I was driving really slowly on a flat field because I’m the mom. 2mph yelling “whee!” is suitably thrilling for a toddler.
Accidents happen, and I tend to err on the side of less bubble wrap with my kid… but there’s only so much damage he can do under his own power. Once you allow motorized vehicles and 13 year old to be involved, that’s not an “accident” anymore; you’re just asking for trouble. That dad was totally irresponsible. I hope the kid’s toes can be reattached!
Anonymous
Nope. Still dumb!! Really really dumb. There’s so much room btwn bubble wrap and ATVing.
Lyssa
I generally agree with this – I wouldn’t see a problem with a level, slow, careful ride with a responsible driver (and I really doubt that that is inherently more dangerous than a pony ride or swimming pool) – whether a 13 year old can be that responsible driver, I’m not sure, and it would definitely depend on that. So, I wouldn’t say that the dad is entirely irresponsible without knowing more about the situation. (I’m actually more concerned about giving the 13 year old free reign on one of those things – that seems a little young, IMO, considering that you know that the 13 yr old is going to want to go nuts on it.)
I’m really glad that the kid wasn’t hurt worse, though.
Anonymous
Wasn’t hurt worse than a three year old losing a foot and some toes?! That’s a pretty bad injury that will affect him for his whole life. Yes, its not a brain injury or death, but that little kid just had his whole life changed because his dad is a complete moron.
Frou Frou
this.
AFT
I think the key difference is in your scenario, the child is always under adult supervision. In the OP’s scenario, it sounds like they weren’t, or else someone would have seen it and known for sure how the accident happened.
Ginjury
Yep. I think Anon. and Spirograph’s situations sound fine. Letting your 13 year old take your 3 year old out joyriding on an ATV is certainly negligent.
AMB
I worked in a children’s hospital for a summer many years ago and I think over the 4 months there were at least three fatalities linked to ATVs. I cannot now see them as anything but inherently, incredibly dangerous and no young children should be anywhere near them.
Anonymous
Yup. I used to do products liability defense work for an ATV manufacturer. Ton and tons of horrible accidents.
Anon
Yes, me too. I used to work in a pediatric ICU and the number of kids that were admitted with serious and/or life-threatening injuries every summer was astounding. So many didn’t survive or were left with major disabilities. At a minimum, ATVs are not safe when driven by teenagers, definitely not safe without helmets, and I’d question the safety even of a small child being driven by their parent at slow speed. I’ve seen all the things that can go wrong.
Anon
I would never let my 3 year old ride on an ATV, never mind one being driven by a 13 year old. Horribly negligent, if you ask me.
2 Cents
Dad was incredibly dumb. My brother had friends (not close ones) who died riding ATVs, and they were teenagers at the time riding across relatively flat land (it was Florida). I also grew up with guy who had a mangled because his dad turned his back while mowing the lawn and Junior stuck his hand in the blades — his hand was so badly damaged that the doctors took two of his toes and added them to the hand (where 1 finger remained) so he’d have a thumb and index finger to use for the rest of his life.
Anon.
Thanks! There are days when I think I am completely crazy for being shocked by this kind of stuff when no one else is.
It’s a situation where I’ve had interaction with people who are friends of the family. My thoughts honestly are that the dad may be charged or at least investigated and accordingly it’s not the greatest idea for him to be sharing this story on facebook or gofundme or whatever else he is doing. The consensus of the circle of people I brought this up with was that I was a jerk and that obviously no one should ever be charged with negligence or investigated for negligence for this kind of thing because “accident’s happen”.
something
Criminally charged? That’s the first time you’ve mentioned that. I think it’s stupid but certainly not criminal, which is probably what your friends were thinking.
AFT
+1
Anon
I think the father showed terrible judgement, but it’s not something that I’d expect him to be criminally charged for and it does seem kind of jerky to suggest that. Maybe it’s a bit of a class difference?
Anon.
Not saying he will be charged or investigated. I kinda doubt he will be charged too but I suspect children’s services will look in on the family given that they now have a child missing some toes and bits off his foot and another child who is probably quite traumatized. I don’t think there is anything absurd about suggesting either possibility.
I think it’s a bit odd to post essentially “the story of how my child came to have less than ten toes and no ankle, please send me money for medical expenses”. I think you are putting yourself up to public scrutiny when you do that and encourage our friends and family to share it.
Also I think this is way beyond “accident’s happen”.
And yeah, I’ve been ATVing as a kid before as well as on a variety of other similar devices, often in the middle of nowhere. I also know a number of people and young people who have lost bits and pieces to ATVs and a young person who was killed stunting with an ATV.
Not really sure how class comes into it. :)
something
I would be offended if you suggested that my children may be taken away from me, or that the state may at least try, or that I might be criminally charged. You are directly questioning my fitness to be a parent, to my face, based on something that although in retrospect may not have been a good idea, tons of parents do. I can see someone getting defensive.
To be clear, I would never allow this with my kid!
Scully
I doubt CPS will get involved or there will be an investigation, and if you have no experience with CPS or family court, you shouldn’t be bringing it up. I agree that it’s negligent and could have been prevented, but I don’t think you should be suggesting to your friends about the “possibility” of charges or investigations- seems like you want to stir the pot, which is a little bit jerk-y.
Anon.
In my line of work I encounter CPS and similar agencies though I don’t attempt to understand the logic of CPS.
Basically, here it takes one doctor (am assuming this kid will have at least 8 or 9 by the end of the month) making a call to CPS and there will always be some kind of investigation. Might be a jurisdictional thing.
Anastasia
If my husband did this, I’d be really upset, and I sure wouldn’t post on the internet advertising it or asking for money to cover what is clearly a stupid mistake we brought on ourselves. But 13 is old enough to legally babysit, so there’s nothing inherently *wrong* with not supervising a 13 year old playing with his 3 year old brother. It’s dumb to let them have access to the ATV together, but I certainly don’t think it rises to the level of anything criminal or worthy of CPS investigation and suggesting that is a little jerk-y. This is one of those situations where I would think the parent is an idiot and probably not let my kid play with his kid if he were the one supposedly providing adult supervision, but I’d never say anything about it in public other than, “wow, thank goodness he wasn’t hurt worse!”
Trisha
yeah, that’s where you lost me. Have you read about the whack jobs calling the cops because they see children playing outside?! And then mom gets arrested? It is disgusting.
anne-on
Seriously, everyone you asked was ok with a 3-year old riding at ATV with a 13-yr old supervising? Not only does that strike me as extremely negligent, is that even legal in your state?
Letting a child ride in an ATV without an adult, without your own seat, heck without a seatbelt is just incredibly stupid to me. A 3 year old is still in a full on car seat when driving around the neighborhood with you at low speeds, why would you let them ride in another vehicle with so little protection?
Anonymous
This. Exactly.
Anon.
Didn’t really ask. It kind of came up when this story popped on the facebooks of people in my circle. Parents are friends of friends kind of situation. And yeah, general consensus was that accident’s happen, parents shouldn’t have to bubble wrap kids or supervise them every second, it’s perfectly okay for a 13 year old to be left alone with a 3 year old and an ATV, only a jerk would suggest that child services might look in on this family, only jerks judge other parents, when I have kids hopefully people won’t be huge jerks to me like I am to parents etc.
Like, I was surprised by the resounding “you are a jerk” reaction I got. I didn’t say I wanted these people to be criminally charged or have their kids taken away or that I was happy their kid has no toes or something.
Frou Frou
So, I agree that it was negligent and bad parenting. But when you post that to FB, along with suggestions that the gov’t may investigate him, it’s just bad manners. You come off looking like the jerk who doesn’t know better. You’re not really adding anything constructive to the conversation by suggesting they are criminally negligent. Worse, you said these things in a public forum, where it comes off as sounding higher-than-thou. Did you honestly expect the FB “friends” of these people, whom you don’t even know, to support your position? You might very well make better decisions than this guy when (if) you become a parent. You might not. But searching for public support of your position twice (on FB and here), when you’ve behaved badly in the process yourself, makes me wonder why you’re so h3ll bent on having your perspective validated. Regardless of whether this parent is at fault, the kid needs medical treatment through no fault of his own. That costs $$ and I would hope that friends of this child’s family would not withhold helping him financially simply because the father was negligent/caused the injury. That would be a shame.
Not a lawyer
What’s your favorite cookbook/ “diet book” for eating healthy without tons of cooking/ prep time?
I’ve fallen into some bad habits with not eating as well as I should, and although I want to eat better, I often find myself reaching for one of the old standbys because I’m hungry right.now. and don’t have time to think about what might be better, healthier options. I need to change my go-to foods and I’d like to do more make-ahead prep so that I have healthy options ready when I’m hungry. I’m not a terrible eater- I eat a lot of fresh fruits and veggies, make dinner at home most nights a week, don’t drink soda, etc.- but need more ideas of healthy foods that can be prepared quickly. Thanks!
hoola hoopa
I was handed down a WW cookbook that has been surprisingly handy.
But I get most of my recipes online now. Check out skinnytaste and ohsheglows.
a.k.
Second skinnytaste. Also Simply Recipes, which isn’t a diet site but so many of her recipes use healthful preparations.
SarahH
I third skinnytaste. She’s amazing! And her recipes are so yummy. Dashing Dish is another good one.
tesyaa
Mark Bittman’s “How to Cook Everything”, or one of his more recent books. He has gotten a little more preachy IMO lately, but “How to Cook Everything” is a classic, and covers so much ground (as its title implies) that there are still a huge number of healthy recipes.
Wanderlust
I really like Martha Stewart’s “Great Food Fast.” The recipes were delicious but not difficult. In fact, that’s the book I used when I taught myself how to cook. It’s not a diet book, but a majority of the recipes are healthy and filling.
Anon in NYC
Gwyneth Paltrow’s It’s All Good. The food is surprisingly good, and the pretension makes me laugh. I’ve also made some substitutions for some of the ingredients she lists (for example, instead of brown rice vinegar I just use rice vinegar) and things have turned out fine.
Unicorn
Yay keep em coming, I love cookbooks!
Anon.
This might be weird but I find that cookbooks lead to unhealthier eating in my household. I’m kind of amazed by the amount of butter, wine, oil, crisco, fatty cuts that seems to be in cookbooks by professional chefs. :)
We don’t really buy healthy cookbooks though.. that may be part of the problem
antsmarching
I love River Cottage Veg Everyday. Much of it is fast one dish cooking.
Anon
The Forest Feast is adorable and the things I’ve made have all been good.
Unicorn
Wow that book is beautiful.
Flower
I have the America’s Test Kitchen Healthy Family cookbook and while I still find some of the recipes a little fussy, it’s been great for sauces for chicken breasts etc.
I did Weight Watchers for a year, mostly doing home cooking from the ATK cookbook, Cooking Light, and Skinny Taste. It is definitely more work and requires more thought, so I simplified most of my meals into protein + steamed veggies + quinoa, because it took the guess work out of the other parts of the meal and I only really had to focus on making the protein.
anon2b
I like the South Beach Diet cookbook – tasty, not too difficult and some interesting recipes.
christineispink
Not technically a cookbook but purchased fitnessblender’s 4 week meal plan a few months ago (regular, I’m not vegan or vegetarian) and it’s been amazing and easy to follow. The recipes are tastier than I had expected and pretty easy to sub ingredients (I use quinoa instead of rice and liberally sub in any cruciferous vegetable b/c for some reason my refrigerator loves to kill broccoli so now I don’t buy it). The spices/flavoring are totally up to you, which I prefer, b/c once you cut out spices and herbs, there are only 5 or less ingredients (usually). I hate buying a whole canister of turmeric so I can use 1/2 tsp for one recipe. After doing the meal plan for a few months, I now just mix and match with whatever ingredients I want to use up.
TX Girl in a DC World
I do love the recipes on Skinnytaste, but be cautious of the calorie counts. I’ve found several recipes that were much higher in calories than she indicated on the site–especially with the salad dressings. I also love the Hungry Girl cook books for simple meals. “300 under 300” is my favorites. I like that she uses a small number of ingredients in each recipe. And those ingredients are common to several recipes, which makes shopping easy.
Meg March
My mom and I fell in love with the “Wine and Food Lover’s Diet” cookbook. We didn’t follow the diet in it, but just tried individual recipes that sounded good. My dad wasn’t as big of a fan, but he’s more of a meat-and-potatoes kind of guy.
Anonna
I don’t have a cookbook to recommend, but I find meal planning helps me make better choices. I have a whiteboard calendar and I try to sit down for an hour at the beginning of the month and plan out meals for the whole month, noting days when I expect to work late, have to travel, have plans, etc. Not having to decide what to eat and having a health recipe choice right in front of me results in a lot less takeout/I’m so hungry I’ll just make whatever sounds good right now. Good luck!
Anonymous
Does anyone know how All Saints fits? Does it fit like Theory? Or like J.Crew? Somewhere in the middle?
Anonymous
Its a Eurpoean brand, I think, so my guess would be smaller than J. Crew and other American brands.
gingersnap
Sorry in advance for the novel-
Would love to hear about anyone’s thoughts/experiences with name changes. Spouse and I have been married for just over 3 years. Original plan was for me to hyphenate, and use my name professionally….I started a doctoral program, got sick, spent two years trying to find a treatment plan that worked, and my name just wasn’t a priority.
Thinking of revisiting this (and actually making a decision). What I’d really like, come to think of it, is for spouse and I both to hyphenate (my last name first, his second) legally, and continue using our current names professionally/when publishing. Is this a viable possibility? Anything I/we might run into when legal & professional names are different? (No, it’s not that big of a deal for us to change everything…but not ideal, as we both had masters degrees and several publications when we got married.) We haven’t run into any issues having different last names, besides some awkwardness with friends & family. But, in thinking about Hypothetical Future Child, I think I’d actually like to have a name in common with Hypothetical Future Child. And if I’m unwilling for Dad & Stepmom to ever be alone with Hypothetical Future Child, Child probably shouldn’t have their last name, right?
Also thinking a mutual name change would make us feel like more of a family unit- although, that sounds like a horrible reason.
AFT
What does this mean? ” And if I’m unwilling for Dad & Stepmom to ever be alone with Hypothetical Future Child, Child probably shouldn’t have their last name, right?”
gingersnap
Well, my current last name, while it’s been my last name for nearly 30 years, also is my dad & stepmom’s last name. Personally, I limit my time with them as much as possible, because our interactions are dysfunctional and toxic. They’ve used disciplinary methods (e.g. swearing and spanking with a belt) with my siblings and I that I would never, ever want any child of mine to be exposed to. So, any child I might have will never, ever be alone with my dad & stepmom. That’s not terribly relevant to the last name situation other than if I’m not comfortable with my hypothetical child being alone with my dad & stepmom, I’m not sure I’m comfortable with my hypothetical child having their last name.
Anonymous
But wouldn’t the child still share a name with them if you hyphenated? If that’s the concern is just take your husbands name.
gingersnap
Well, no. Current thinking is that child would probably have either just husband’s last name, or husband’s last name + my mom’s maiden name.
Which works fine, if I hyphenate/change my name and he doesn’t, but is messier if we both hyphenate/change. I just don’t want to go through the process alone, and it makes me feel like a piece of property, and like the person I’ve been for 30 years is disappearing.
Em
I’ve never understood that argument. After 30 years, it’s not “their” name it’s YOUR name. Plenty of men have bad or abusive relationships with their fathers and they don’t use that as a justification to change their name. Lots of kids have the same name as paternal grandparents that they aren’t even allowed to see! Women in this country are taught that their name is not truly their own in a way that men simply aren’t.
gingersnap
Thanks Em! That’s a helpful perspective. I know there’s no real right answer to the name conundrum, and everyone has to make the best decision for them.I just really hate that the expectation is that women will take their husband’s names….when anyone asks why I haven’t changed mine, I usually say something like “Because no one asks my husband that question.”
I feel like I’m still really bad at being an adult.
Unicorn
You know how some folks don’t really like the family they were born into, and choose new ones to be a part of (via friends or marriage)? Well, that’s how I chose to view my name change when I got married – not a disappearing of myself, but a declaration that this is who I choose to be. My chosen self, rather than my assigned self, if that makes sense. Maybe that’s helpful.
gingersnap
Unicorn, Thank you. That’s how I’ve been framing the possible name change in my head….but I’m so proud of all the brave choices I’ve made to step away from my parents, and all the emotional and professional work that I’ve done to get this far. And, when I picture my dissertation defense in my head, I hear my committee saying “Congratulations Dr. CurrentLastname.” Hyphenating seems like a way to bring the past & future together…but it’s also crazy long & cumbersome! Both last names are 3 syllables, and that just seems like too much for every day use.
Unicorn
Totally fair and understandable. Have you considered taking your CurrentLast as your middle name, so its still part of your identify but you have one family lastname? That way you’re not in last-name-getting-cut-off-on-every-document territory, hyphen wise? I often think its so chic when women use all three names professionally.
hoola hoopa
FWIW, I’ve known several men who have changed their name when they married, either to their wife’s maiden or to a third name. I know for certain that at least some of them did it in large part because of the same reasons as OP.
gingersnap
Unicorn, I think I might need to revisit the CurrentLast as middle name possibility. When I think of the women I admire most professionally (all 10-20 years older than I am) one kept her last name, one hyphenated, and one went the MaidenLast as middle route. I’ve noticed that the hyphenated last name often gets shortened to just spouse’s last name (perhaps because their children have his last name), and the middle name is often just an initial.
Anon
gingersnap, I say something similar when people ask me why I didn’t change my name. Usually something like “Why didn’t my husband change his?” I’m probably bad at being a grownup too…
Anonymous
I think it would be really really weird for you to have your fathers name and your child to have your husbands name abs your mothers maiden name. Don’t you think your kid would find it odd?
Anonymous
How will your future child have a step mom? And is your husband interested in doing this?
gingersnap
*I* have a stepmom. It’s up to my husband & I how much she and my dad are involved in our lives, but they do exist. Husband brought up changing his name when we had this conversation the first time- before getting married.
Senior Attorney
I’ve changed my name three times now (birth name to H1, H1 to H2, now back to H1 because it’s my son’s name and I like it better than birth name). If I had it to do over again, I’d either keep birth name or pick a brand new name (because I really disliked birth name) and stick to it no matter what happened subsequently. If my name were different from that of the person with whom I had children, my convention would be that male children had dad’s name, female children had mom’s name.
anon
I changed my name when I got married, changed it back when I got divorced, vowed never ever ever to change it again. But I have no children.
Eliza
+1. I also really like my birth name.
TOS
I did something similar, and if I had to do it over, I would have kept my birth last name, and given the kids both of our last names, or included a last name of a favorite relative.
My oldest got married, and my daughter in law was unsure of the name change thing. I said do what you are comfortable with, however it’s a longer process to get everything done. I’m not opposed to both spouses having that joint, bonding experience. It’s a tradition that is being re-thought in terms of being a full partner in the relationship.
One of my friends married, she and husband kept their names, and the children had a blend of the major syllables of their last names. (think Rosenkrantz, Gildenstern, Goodspeed, Brianson) They have been academically and socially successful. Most people don’t want to think that hard beyond, oh, that’s your name? Ok. I work with an international clientele, I’m more worried about pronouncing last names from other continents well.
gingersnap
I love my mother’s maiden name (which comes with a family cookbook, 300+ years of documented family history, and a family crest). I’ve always been really bummed that I didn’t get it, so I’d love for my kids to get to have it, probably as a 2nd middle name….
hoola hoopa
This question is worded in a confusing manor, but I think you’re asking (1) What issues would you face in terms of your CV and professional life if you changed your last name completely or hyphenated? and (2) What experience do people have with everyone in the family changing their last names?
For (1), it’s pretty common. I know people who have hyphenated and continued to publish under their maiden name, and it works fine. PubMed etc seems to handle it okay. I changed my last name completely. PubMed doesn’t link, but I list all my publications on my CV with my name bolded, so it’s pretty obvious that I changed my last name mid-stream. As a woman, it’s easily understood that I got married. It might be more confusing when people were reviewing a man’s CV that does the same thing, only because it’s not a social norm.
For (2), I know a couple of couples/families who all changed their last names completely – ie, to a third name that was not maiden name for either husband or wife. The major disadvantage is that you have to go through the court – but since your marriage certificate name change window is gone, you’d have to do that anyway if only you hyphenated – and it seems to be a relatively simple and quick process. Socially, I do think it’s easier to have the whole family have one last name, especially if there are children. Anecdotally, the mothers with last names different than the rest of the family (maiden name or hyphenated) eventually seem to go by the married name just because it get tiring to correct people or explain at pick ups, etc.
Only you can decide if you’d like to drop your last name because of your relationship and association with your father and stepmom. Either is fine.
gingersnap
Thanks for your rewrite hoola
For Q2, I’m also interested in all name change/non name change experiences and decisions.
Also Q3: What happens if the name on your work documents (resume/CV, company email, etc) doesn’t match your legal name? Is this something I should worry about?
anon
non-name change experiences: Neither my mom nor I changed, and have never ever experienced any problems (never a problem that our last names weren’t the same as the kids’ last name, although my kids are still young). Neither of us has ended up going by our husbands’ names.
cr
Ditto — also MIL never changed and hasn’t run into any problems either.
Anon.
Two years post marriage I am changing my name on my passport and health information and banking info. Doing it largely because baby on the way and I want all our names the same for travel reasons. No hyphen, just name change. It had nothing to do with our child being confused or anything, I just figured it would be easier to travel with all passports having the same name.
The failure to do it before was honestly a huge sore spot in the relationship. I mentioned to my husband the amount of time required to make the change, the cost, the waste (throwing out checkbooks for new ones) etc but he was never happy about it. He didn’t make a fuss about it though and nor should he have- not his choice.
Honestly, I think it’s old fashioned to change a name and not very practical for established professional women (I’m pretty new to my profession). I believe strongly though that every woman (or man) must chose for them self whether or not to change their name. I don’t see any reason why this should be a joint decision.
gingersnap
Anon, I’m so thankful that my husband has said he’ll support any decision I make (and that he’d consider legally changing his name). I’m at a point right now professionally where I *could* change my name fairly easily, but won’t be for much longer. And part of me feels I think I just need to make a decision. I’ve been avoiding putting last names on Christmas Cards or when signing family guestbooks, because I’m so unsure about what to do. Which has led to several people just assuming that I took his name. I think I can gently correct this as needed, but I haven’t yet, because I haven’t made up my mind.
LVJG
FWIW, I legally changed my name, but still go by my maiden name professionally. Sometimes I forget which hat I’m wearing and/or there is overlap, which causes some confusion, but I’m definitely getting business referrals that I likely would not get if I had changed my name professionally (the name change coincided with a firm change, so people wouldn’t have been able to find me very easily). At some point in the future, I may ultimately go by my married name professionally, but it’s still kind of nice to have my old name in some respects.
For traveling purposes, for a while, my husband, son and I all had different last names, and we travelled internationally with no issue. Now that my husband and I have the same name, my son still has a different name, and we haven’t had any issues there either. Not to say that it’s not a concern (I always make sure I have the supporting paperwork with me), but it hasn’t been an issue.
Anon.
I’m just lazy and easily frustrated.
I have had trouble before where things have been booked (tickets for shows, flights etc) under the hubby’s last name for me. Occasional trouble too at the post office trying to pick up mail and convince them that I am this person with a different last name than my ID. I refuse to go through any of this with a child as well.
Honestly, I wish I had the energy to stick with my name but I do not. I have a problem once a month tops. I could stick it out but the incentive to lose one problem a month is too great. :)
Gem
I don’t know if this is an option in the states but I have two legal names. One with his last, one with my last. Both feature on my passport. Occasionally confuses someone (picking up parcels, etc) but mostly it’s fine.
Monday
I did not change my name and am proud of it. My experience so far has been totally problem-free, including international travel and all other kinds of bureaucracy. Going into it, however, my husband and I agreed that any inconvenience would be worth it anyway; I’m just really not into the idea of changing my name to reflect my marriage. I’d like to think that for every married couple with different last names, there’s more reinforcement to those around them that there’s nothing unusual, confusing, uncommitted or dis-united about it. In turn, this should make it feel like a fully available option, rather than an aberration or an annoyance, for women to keep their names if they prefer.
My situation (otherwise) is not like yours, OP, but I thought I’d weigh in since you were interested in experiences overall.
gingersnap
Monday, that’s awesome! Thank you for the info about bureaucracy, international travel especially. That’s been one of my major concerns. I love seeing couples with different last names, and couples where *both* parties change their names. And (especially after this conversation) I think the right answer for us is that either both of us change our names or neither will (and that we make a decision and start clarifying it for everyone else, before my dissertation is turned in or hypothetical future child is conceived).
Monday
One thing I forgot to mention about travel, etc.–you have a marriage certificate! I take ours with us for instances like these, so if anyone’s mind is really blown by the fact that we have different last names, we can still prove we are married. (The idea that matching names prove it, anyway, has always confused me. Can I get on my brother’s health insurance with that logic?)
renza
Thank you, thank you, thank you, for this!! The matching last names thing proving marriage or parental status never made sense to me.
I did not change my last name when I married (didn’t even consider it, honestly, and husband doesn’t mind one bit) and I always found it bizarre that people would talk about how it could be difficult to travel with my (hypothetical future) child if we had different last names, or how it would get confusing once they are in school. I’m glad to know that a child could be so easily abducted if you just happen to have the same last name!? And for the record, when we have kids, we are considering using our last names hyphenated (and ignoring all the naysayers who say not to do that because hey, it’s not their kid!).
gingersnap, you should do what is best for you. If you want to keep your maiden name professionally I think it would be complicated to have a different legal name, but I have read enough commenters on this blog who do that so I guess it’s possible.
Anonymous
Totally agree with Monday. One of the things that made me fall madly in love with my better half was when he said that he would be a little sad if I changed my last name to his. Obviously, it was my choice but that he fell in love with me as X Y and why shouldn’t I remain as X Y forever?
Prior to this I never thought about the issue all that much, nor did I especially love my given name, and so I always assumed I would just do the practical thing: i.e., if my first name and H’s last name sounded better than my first name and my last name, I’d switch; if not, then never you mind. But after that conversation it occurred to me: I don’t know any men, no matter how “terrible” their last name who think about it that way. I say you both change if it’s that important or everyone keeps theirs.
Parfait
That is the sweetest thing ever.
Em
A friend of mine and her husband both changed their names when they got married. They went from Jane Smith and Joe Jones to Jane and Joe Smith Jones. They have not hidden the change in any way, as both have changed their name on facebook and they refer to themselves as the Smith Jones family. I love it!
I also think it’s strange that the “family name” argument is so common (not saying it’s right or wrong) given the prevalence of divorce and blended families.
Cb
That’s our plan as well and it gives us a bit of a family mascot (think color + bird, ie. White Goose). I like the idea that we’re team white goose although I’ll probably just use Dr White professionally.
gingersnap
I love this! I occasionally refer to us as “The MyLast-HisLast Family” which somehow seems less true, because neither of us actually have both of those last names. I keep swinging back and forth between pedantic about it all, and not caring.
Need to Improve
My last name is my children’s second middle name. No hyphen. So, for example, Emily Susan MYLASTNAME HUSBANDLASTNAME. But they go by Emily HUSBANDLASTNAME for 99 percent of purposes. My last name really is just on their passports “for the record” but we do not otherwise use it. That way it is clear we are related should the passport issue arise, which by the way, it never has despite multiple trips. Also, don’t forget that your name will always be on their birth certificate.
It always surprises me that in this day and age there is anything weird about a woman keeping her maiden name. In my law firm, I would say that 90 percent of the attorneys who are married have a different last name than their spouse. But I guess lawyers in a major, liberal metropolis are not representative of the population at large . . .
Anon.
I get judged for switching my name among professional people, especially young women and men. Many of the young, educated and trendy people I know aren’t bothering with marriage at all and say it’s outdated to the core (I know they are not impressed with the name change). It’s practically an act of rebellion for me to change my name (everyone I know kept their name or hyphened it). I do find I feel a need to justify my choice from time to time.. wish I didn’t.
Anonymous
Oh Puh-leaze ! It isn’t an f-ing rebellion to do what everyone did for generations. U aren’t that special.
Anonymous
It’s norm-core! Break out the khakis and polo shirts.
Lolz
Lol. Who let the grumpy old ladies on the internet?
Senior Attorney
You kids? Off. my. lawn.
T
this is exactly what I did too. Child is First Middle MyLast (both middle names) HisLast. We’ve traveled a lot and though the airlines have him as First Middle HisLast (since there’s not enough room on the airline form), and all doctor’s offices and daycares do the same, I have never had a problem. He’s 10. I also have our return address labels etc. say MyLast-His Last, then our address, although that’s not technically anyone’s name. And I don’t care if people socially refer to me as Mrs. HisLast or us as the HisLast family. We are. I’m part of that family as identified traditionally even though legally and professionally everyone knows me as MyLast.
Wildkitten
I am jumping in after everything. I have my mom’s last name. My dad is a jerk who hated his last name. I have my mom’s name because my dad hated his, but it’s convenient to me since I don’t want the jerk-name anyway. I love my last name and want my kids to have it, but if I had been given my jerk-dad’s last name I wouldn’t want my kids to have it. I think it’s wonderfully feminist to not assume the woman will take the man’s name, but delightfully humanist to not insist your kids get a terrible name from either parent.
Wildkitten
So if you hate your last name, and your husband has a lovely name, why not switch it all up for a family unit name you value? You can legally change yours, and professionally keep it. I think the most feminist thing to do is everyone choose the name you want, no matter the patriarchy. (I’ll do the oppos!te but with the same logic.)
gingersnap
I don’t mind my last name, although I strongly dislike some of the people associated. I don’t love it, like I do my mom’s maiden name, but it’s easy to pronounce, close to the start of the alphabet, etc. My husband’s last name is nice, but I don’t feel connected to it at all. I guess we could both change to something totally different (e.g. Mom’s maiden) but use CurrentLastNames professionally, but that just seems incredibly confusing once three names are in the mix….
gingersnap
And everyone, thank you so much for your input, stories, suggestions. I feel like everyone around me talks as though last names are easy decisions, and I feel dumb/inept for not finding an easy, obvious solution. I know I can’t do the traditional American wife thing and just take his name and let mine go, even if that is the easy/popular option.
layered bob
I kept my name and my husband kept his; our children will all be Firstname Mylast Hislast. (My last name will be their only middle name.)
WRT academia/publishing – good friends of ours are both academics; they have two children. They continue to research and publish under their individual last names – e.g. Dr. Apple and Dr. Banana. Socially (perhaps legally as well?) they *both* hyphenated to become Drs. Apple-Banana. Their children are Firstname Apple Banana, with Apple as their only middle name.
I think that is a really excellent system that leaves each of them their individual professional identities, while giving everyone in the family (roughly) the same name socially, but avoiding the difficulty of their children having a long hyphenated name. I would have totally done that if my and my husband’s last names were not already both very long and in my case, two words (“de X”).
Motivation Needed
I’m just seeking a quick pep talk. I lost a significant amount of weight this year. For the last month or so, I’ve had a great increase in stress (selling our home, taking on a new role at work), plus I’ve hit a weight plateau. I know I need to exercise more and stop eating the crap that’s slowly crept into my eating plan (not a diet!), but when I’m faced with a goody, I have a hard time getting out of the moment long enough to not stuff the goody in my face. Then I eat it and feel horrible. Ugh, I need a kick in the pants.
Clementine
When I get to this place, I go back to writing down every single thing that I eat. The ‘I don’t want to write this down’ motivation is strong for me.
Another thing I use regularly is that I decide that I won’t settle for anything Sub-par. Crummy stale donuts in the office? Pass, knowing I could have an amazing fresh, homemade donut from the Farmer’s Market. Life is too short for bad cupcakes. That being said, if I want a cupcake and the craving has been going on, I go to my favorite bakery and get (one) amazing cupcake, usually on a Friday or Saturday. Maybe one for the spouse… okay, probably one for the spouse.
Friend in the program
I have a friend who has been in the program for almost 20 years. She sometimes talks about how one can have an “emotional hangover” after behaving in a way one knows one behaves, wishes one did not behave, but sometimes still does behave. I believe the theory is that once one has suffered enough emotional hangovers after behaving that way, one will be ready to stop behaving that way. (Apologies to anyone in the program if I have misrepresented this; this is my understanding.) So sometimes I think about the way I will feel after I do X, ask myself “will I have an emotional hangover?” and then decide what to do. Maybe thinking about it this way will help?
tesyaa
Set aside one day per week when you allow yourself to have a treat or two. Knowing that the splurge day is there is enough for me to mostly resist unexpected and unwanted weekday goodies.
(Although it didn’t work on Monday when my co-worker brought in something I found irresistible).
Senior Attorney
I don’t think you need a kick in the pants. I think you need a hug.
{{{{{{{{{Motivation Needed}}}}}}}}}}}}
You have done great, and a plateau is not the end of the world. You’ve got great advice above, and I might just add that maybe in this really stressful time your goal should be to just keep the scale where it is and avoid a big regain, rather than trying to power through with continued weight loss while things are crazy. The gym and the weight loss will still be there after the real estate deal closes.
Joan Holloway
Yes!
A giant hug and gentleness for yourself.
And if you have time, which I understand is extremely limited for you right now, see if you can find a nutritionist to have accountability and a sounding board. Their services count as preventative, so they’re 100% covered by insurance.
Wildkitten
Also are you stressed and therefore tired? Getting more sleep might help with everything.
Kat G
FYI – interesting post/repost from Gothamist (via Reddit) of a professor looking for the wedding couple in this photo, found in the rubble of Ground Zero after 9/11… thought I’d post here too:
http://gothamist.com/2014/09/12/do_you_know_the_couple_in_this_phot.php
Anne
She found them: http://www.businessinsider.com/911-wedding-photo-revealed-2014-9
mid- or high-rise skinny jeans
Who makes your favorite high- or mid-rise skinny jeans? I bought some from Gap, and they stretched out after half an hour and felt like they were falling off all day.
I would really prefer not to spend $200+ on premium brands, but if that’s what I need to do, I’ll do it. I wear jeans basically all the time (I work in a creative industry, so I can wear them to work), so it’s worth it to me.
Clementine
Banana Republic. I size down a size- normally I’m an 8 in work pants, but I get a 6 in skinny jeans there. Not too high, not too low, simple, clean looking dark wash skinny jeans.
In my dream world, I would get a pair of Paige Skyline skinnies (recommended by CHS Belle).
Anonymous
Just got these at Nordstrom Rack for $59. Less than BR full price. It’s not impossible!
Eliza
+1. BR jeans are great. A nice, slim fit with minimal stretch. I also size down.
Batgirl
I will say that my Paige skyline skinnies stretched out faster than I’d have liked, but not as bad as most brands!
vee
Ooh, good to know re: Paige jeans stretching! My favorite thrift shop tends to have a few of them on the racks, but the ones I tried on were all a shade small. I did make out like a bandit, though–went home with a pair of Seven jeans for $3.40.
Anon
Mine also stretched out. I later gained 10 lbs and they’re still too big for me, though they fit me fine when I first bought them.
mid- or high-rise skinny jeans
Never thought to check out BR’s jeans! I’m going to try some on today.
Love the Paige Skyline Skinny. If I ever see them at Nord Rack, I’m totally pouncing on them.
Bonnie
Paige jeans are moderately on sale now at Nordstroms. They can also be found on Amazon in lucky sizes for $60 or so.
anon
J-brand. Generally high end, but often on sale on sites like Gilt, etc.
Frou Frou
Madewell.
Cbb
+1. Their skinny skinny high rise is an awesome jean! Plus, free shipping all the time.
mid- or high-rise skinny jeans
Thanks! I just ordered a pair of the skinny skinny high rise and another of the regular skinny skinny to try on at home. Free shipping makes all the difference, honestly. Excited to see how they work out.
Anon
I recently bought the curvy fit, skinny jeans from Ann Taylor. They have a mid-rise fit although I’m not sure they’re actually called mid-rise. They have a good stretch without being stretched out by the end of the day. I usually wear them three or four times before I wash them (just to clean them, not because they’re stretched out). They’re only about $90 so they’re worth trying out.
Woods-comma-Elle
Guess.
(The brand, not that I’m asking you to guess). I got the Britney range (which I think maybe has been discontinued) but I’m a big fan of the brand generally. I’m not a huge jeans-wearer so they last me ages.
Anonna
Levis.
Moving Attys
I’m seeking advice on where to live around NY/NJ. We are a two attorney family with a 6 mos. old, relocating from Chicago. My husband will be working in Park Ridge, NJ, and I will be working in Midtown. Several people have suggested Ridgetown, NJ to us. It looks like exactly what we are looking for – good schools, reasonably priced homes with real yards, tree-lined streets, sidewalks, restaurants, etc. However, I’m concerned about my commute. Others have suggested Westchester County (specifically Hastings, Dobbs Ferry, Irvington), but it doesn’t quite have the same suburban look as NJ (on Google maps at least!). Is the commute from Ridgewood into Manhattan really that bad? Are there other areas we should be looking at? I’d appreciate any and all advice!
MJ
http://nymag.com/nymetro/realestate/features/affordable2002/n_7782/
NY Mag does a few awesome features on ‘burbs every few years. This was the first one that came up. Hope this helps. I think nearly any commute into NYC is pretty rough…but I don’t like to commute more than 1/2 an hour or so. Remember that if your office isn’t right where your commuter train/bus/ferry comes into NYC, you are looking at a “double-commute” which is rough.
AnonZee
Personally, I prefer the towns in Westchester that you mentioned and my husband and I are house hunting there now. It is suburban but without tons of strip malls and big box stores, which is what appeals to me. That being said, if your husband works in Jersey, it makes no sense to live in Westchester and you both to have a long and expensive commute (not to mention the fact that the Tappan Zee bridge will be under construction for yrs, impacting his commute) . I don’t know Ridgewood well, but would suggest focusing on towns near his office with decent public transport to the city.
In NY, Rockland County is also an option and would be significantly cheaper than Westchester in both prices and taxes, but the commute to Manhattan is about an hour minimum and most likely longer than the towns you are considering in NJ
Killer Kitten Heels
Are you going to be in Midtown West or Midtown East? Getting crosstown in Manhattan is an enormous pain in the @$$, so where you live should take that into account. The Jersey commuter rail comes in on the west side (Penn Station), while the Westchester trains come in on the east side (Grand Central), so my answer would really depend on where you need to go.
I’m leaving a job I was only in for a year right now because I can’t stand the commuter rail + cross-town commute anymore.
Moving Attys
Thanks ladies! I appreciate all of your input. Unfortunately, I think it generally confirms what I already knew – taking 3 trains to Midtown East from NJ would not be a treat for me. On a positive note, this is all happening so suddenly that we are going to rent immediately, meaning we can reassess and adjust where we live if our initial location choice doesn’t pan out. I will definitely check out the other suggestions some of you have given me. And thanks for the heads up re the TZ Bridge construction! While my husband is being awesome and saying he’s more concerned about my commute than his, this is critical info to know!
Killer Kitten Heels
If you’re planning on putting kiddo in daycare (where you’ll have a hard-and-fast pickup time), figure out who is going to be taking primary responsibility for pickup/dropoff and make sure that person has as easy of a commute as possible.
If you’re planning on using a nanny or other more flexible option, then I’d say make sure whoever works the longer hours has the easier of the two commutes – as I mentioned, I was doing long hours + long commute for a year, and it was horribly taxing, even without a kiddo. I can’t imagine having done it at all with a kid in the picture.
AnonZee
Yes, the killer is the fact that you likely have to transfer at Secaucus Junction on NJ Transit and then take a subway from Penn Station (or two, because it’s not easy getting to the east side from there) vs a Direct Metro North train to Grand Central. I’ve done that commute in the past during summers and it’s not a fun one.
I do have family who commute from Westchester to Jersey so it is doable. I think it would be considered a reverse commute so perhaps the traffic isn’t terrible. It’s more the bridge construction that would give me pause. However, it could be worth renting in Tarrytown ( the town with the most rental stock of the places you mentioned) and trying it out for a few months. Tarrytown is the busiest of the river towns and also has an express train to Manhattan. irvington and Hastings are sleepier, but in the end, we’re talking about just a few miles. Just be prepared for expensive real estate prices and even higher property taxes (the compensation being good public schools if you plan on sticking around long enough to take advantage of them)
TOS
My all-black, no pattern Vera Bradley tote is quickly approaching the point of retirement, and I’m having a horrible time finding something that fits on my shoulder as a tote/purse, that works for work, but isn’t “too much” for pulling along and getting a few things done when I’m waiting out a music lesson. In leather, and while my taste pulled up the Saturday A Satchel in Red and a gorgeous green leather Kate Spade satchel…my wallet says, wellll, ask the hive what they have for under $150 that fits a few file folders, an iPad and shelf-stable purse fare, with an occasional pair of flats (Train commuters what gets the job done?) . I prefer a solid color, not white, but easily move beyond black ,and have had enough happen with fabric, that I want to give leather a try. This bag will get a lot of use.
So – what do you all have/want as a work tote/satchel/bag? Something with a little flair to take the edge off of This Is So Practical is welcome. I sank too much time in Etsy with not enough results. Help!
Wildkitten
Do you need it to zip at the top? Can you check outlets? Letter or legal folders?
TOS
Mercifully letter sized. I’ve been known to stand a laptop on end in a pinch – which is the only thing that occasionally strains the length issue. I’ve stayed away from outlets due to time/kiddo factors, but would easily forge a path for this. I’m near a Potomac/Arundel/Grapevine Mills. Zip is helpful, but not essential.
Killer Kitten Heels
Stalk Marshalls and TJMaxx, that’s where all of my best <$150 finds have come from (Hobo International is an especially sturdy brand that I have come across there, but they'll also have Michael Kors/Kate Spade/etc. from time to time).
Also, what about Coach? If you sign up for the Coach Factory outlet website's email list, you'll get access to flash sales, where you can routinely get their basic leather bags in the $150-$200 range. I know Coach gets knocked around here from time to time, but their basic leather bags are still really good quality (especially at the discount price) and very classic looking.
TOS
I will give them a go – part of my limitation is not knowing brands, and that detail alone makes this post really helpful.
When I was in college, eons ago, I worked at a boutique that sold Coach (no emblem/logo then, all leather) and Dooney & Bourke. Coach had more maintenance to it, but it had better variety and colors. Will consult their website to see if there is something worth the Flash Sale Plan :)
I'm Just Me
LL Bean Town and Field Tote ($20 over your price).
TOS
Ooh, forgot about the discussion on this one. Will check it out!
Kiki
Does anyone shop at other European brands such as Poetry, Wrap and Pure? I have a lot of cashmere from pure. I just placed my first order from poetry (large expensive order) and was disappointed how itchy the alpaca was.
What are your other lesser known favorite brands?
Eliza
Eric Bompard is my go-to for cashmere.
Lisa
Love All-Saints.
Amelia Bedelia
Help!
I am traveling for work Monday and am taking my eight week old baby (mum is meeting me there to help watch her). I am breastfeeding, so will have to leave meetings to pump.
I have two three hour flights with a 2.5 hour layover. any recommendations for traveling alone with a young baby? please help!
Westraye
You’ll be fine. It’s actually really easy when they are that small especially if you are nursing. Bring a baby carrier so you can wear her in the airport and on the plane before take-off (and walk with her in the aisles if she is fussy!), nurse her on take off and landing (to help her ears clear) and have a small bag in your diaper bag ready with wipes and a couple of diapers (so you’re not lugging a big diaper bag and a baby into a tiny airplane bathroom). Don’t be afraid to ask the flight attendants for help! People are generally really sympathetic when you’re traveling alone with a baby. Also – one of those breastfeeding aprons that hang around your neck will help you avoid flashing your seat neighbour. I didn’t bring one since I didn’t want to carry it with me and just wore a shirt over a breastfeeding tank top which worked well but is not perfect. Good luck!
Westraye
oooh…and a couple of changes of clothes for the baby that you carry on the flight with you.
B
I recommend bringing an extra shirt for yourself too. You never know when there may be a major spit up or poo explosion. If you carry on your ice packs as part of your pumping items, make sure you pack the ice packs with the empty bottles as you’ll need to show that’s why you’re carrying them on. And when you return, be aware that your breast milk will be considered medical liquids. Some airports have a separate (often shorter) line. They may require you to open the bottles and they run a strip over them to check. I actually pumped in the airport (with baby in the stroller) and then used the bottles on the plane, but either way, be sure to keep them hungry so you can feed them at take off and landing to help with ears popping. Second the recommendation to put baby in a carrier (ergo, etc.) as you’ll have to gate check your stroller and want your hands free to get on the plane with the diaper bag and pump bag (I wouldn’t check this – too big a risk of getting lost). The carrier is also good for getting through security for the same reason.
Frou Frou
Change the baby’s diaper before you board. Also, the airline staff will not help you by holding your baby for you; You’ll definitely need a carrier. Consider packing an extra shirt for you just in case your baby poops or pukes on yours. Gate check your stroller and possibly your car seat. If you have a separate seat for your baby, just use the carrier on the plane.
Anon
Stop breastfeeding? I know that’s wont work on this trip, but the benefits aren’t clearly soooo much better, you’ve done it for 2 months, and you clearly have a big job if you’re not still on mat leave. Make your own life a little easier and everyone is happier.
TOS
Let’s go with the actual question. You’ve made way too many assumptions. She’s got a plan.
Spirograph
That’s a great age to fly with a baby. Everyone has already given good advice (except “stop breastfeeding”), but I’ll add: if baby falls asleep, do NOT wake her up to nurse during take off or landing; her ears will be fine, just be glad she’s asleep!
Fight the insurance company?
The short version: my insurance company recently refused to pay for a test that I think they should pay for. Fortunately, because the test has only been available in the past 2 years, the outside company that does the test (not my doctor’s office) charges a relatively low fee ($200) for people whose insurance won’t cover. Should I bother fighting the insurance company?
More details: The test is called Maternity 21, which separates out fetal DNA in the mother’s blood and tests for certain common chromosomal abnormalities. It has only been widely available for the past 2 years or so, and takes the place of much less accurate tests. My insurance company generally covers this for pregnant women over 35 (which I am). Their reason for refusing to pay in my case was that the test is not valid for twins (in their jargon, it was investigative, and not medically necessary, even though prior to the refusal to pay, my doctor provided the insurance company a letter stating that she felt it was medically necessary because of my age). It is true that if the test detected a chromosomal abnormality, we would not have been able to tell which fetus had the problem, and additional testing would have been required. The results in my case showed no abnormalities, for which I am grateful. So in my view, the test (which in my uninformed opinion seems like an extraordinary advancement in prenatal testing) worked. To me, this looks like a case of the insurance company trying to find any reason possible not to pay for a relatively new test.
I have the means to self pay the lower cost. I also have time right now to engage in a battle with the insurance company. If you were me, what would you do, and how would you go about it? (And if you have any insight into insurance practices, please share!) Thanks in advance.
Anonymous
Looked into this. Was also denied substantial coverage (was barely 25). With a doctors note they said they would cover 1/5 of the cost but none of the travel cost to take the test (not offered in my city). Didnt take it in the end. Hopefull won’t regret that decision
You need to decide for yourself. It’s a very hard decision. Good luck.
B
I would start the fight process and see how it goes. I have found with insurance fights that sometimes just taking that first step, especially with a medical necessity note from your doctor, is all it takes and that doesn’t take much time. If they start to put up a big fight, then it may not be worth your time.
TOS
It was denied on the basis of twins? Maybe I’m missing the logic of it. I would fight it if it’s manageable.
Fight the insurance company?
Yes, the denial letter stated: “This testing does not work unless you are only having one baby. For this reason we believe that it was investigational and not medically necessary for you.”
NYNY
If the claim was already denied with the doctor’s letter of medical necessity, it’s not likely to be overturned. New procedures, especially genetic testing, are usually considered experimental. Did you sign a waiver when you had the procedure performed stating that you would pay if your insurance did not cover it? If you didn’t, and the lab accepted insurance assignment, they have to write off the cost of the test as non-covered.
Fight the insurance company?
That’s what I was thinking (that the if the doctor’s letter wasn’t enough already, the company is not likely to change course). However, the insurance company usually does cover this test if it is for a woman over 35 carrying one fetus. It stumps me as to why they wouldn’t cover it for twins.
Fight the insurance company?
And thanks, NYNY–that is exactly what happened with the bill. Sequenom (the test provider) accepted insurance assignment, and when BCBS refused, they wrote off the vast majority of the cost, resulting in only $200 in charges to me.
Bonnie
PSA: lastcall.com has DVF wrap dresses for $139 today.
BMBG
Thank you, Bonnie! Score!