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Workwear sales of note for 6.02.23:
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
- Ann Taylor – $50 off $150; $100 off $250+; extra 30% off all sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off purchase
- Boden – Sale, up to 50% off
- Cole Haan – Up to 50% off select styles; extra 20% off sandals & sneakers
- Eloquii – 60% off all tops
- Express – 30% off all dresses, tops, shorts & more; extra 50% off clearance
- H&M – Up to 60% off online and in-store.
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off “dressed up” styles (lots of cute dresses!); extra 50% off select sale
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; 60% off 100s of summer faves; extra 60% off clearance
- J.McLaughlin – The Sale Event: extra 30% off
- Loft – 40% off tops; 30% off full-price styles
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty.
- Shopbop – Up to 60% off sale
- Sue Sartor – Lots of cute dresses on sale!
- Talbots – 25-40% off select styles
Other noteworthy sales:
- CB2.com – Up to 40% off; pop-up sale up to 30% off
- Joss & Main – Up to 60% off, plus an extra 20% off with code
- Tuft & Needle – Save up to $775 on mattresses (Reader-favorite brand; Kat really likes hers!)
- West Elm – Up to 25% off in-stock furniture; up to 60% off clearance
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
- Favorite comfy pants for an overnight plane ride?
- I’ve got a nasty case of tech neck…
- What’s a good place for a relaxing solo escape?
- What’s the best commuter backpack?
- I’m early 40s and worry my career arc is ending…
- I canNOT figure out the proportions in this current season of fashion…
- How is everyone wearing scarves in 2023?
- What shoes are people wearing to work between boot and sandal season?
- What’s a good place for a relaxing solo escape?
- What are some of your go-to outfits that feel current?
- I need more activities that are social, easy to learn and don’t involve extreme running/jumping/etc.
Try Bear Paws for decent and cheaper Ugglike boots, too.
Agree. I got a pair for my mom on a whim last year for the holidays and she loved them so much she got a pair for her friend for friend’s birthday.
Yay! Open Thread’s! I love Weekend Open Thread’s! And I also love ALL UGGs, even tho Dad does NOT like it when I spend over $150 on ANY shoes! FOOEY b/c they are lined with Sheapskin!!! And it is so cold that I can use Sheapskin rather than my Nike Air’s today. If onley I had a nice warm pair of UGGs, I would not be so cold. But dad say’s that walking in the cold will melt my tuchus, and when it is duly melted, a guy will come around and marry me b/c he wants a girl with a thin body and a small tuchus. So I went back to dad and showed him a PICTURE of Kim Keardashian with a very big tuchus that make’s mine look small! Now I do NOT want to marry her husband, and think that if Ivanka has a smaller tuchus (which she does) that I could be like her and find a guy like Jared. I do NOT need a lot of money and would NOT want to have sex every day with Kanyay West anyway. DOUBEL FOOEY!
In reaching this conclusion, I alway’s think to myself what happens if a guy like Kanyay got tired of my tuchus and it was way bigger 10 year’s from now. Would a 44 year old woman with a VERY big tuchus EVER find a decent man to marry her? I do NOT think so. Most 44 year old women with big tuchuses probabley can have a lot of sex, but so what? Who want’s some smelley guy huffing and puffeing on top of them? TRIPEL FOOEY!
I have to exercise to prepare for Thanksgiving, b/c I will be eating a lot at Rosa’s house and do NOT want Dad to tell me NOT to eat until I get MARRIED. I might as well have a few extra pound’s now that it is so cold out! YAY!!!!!
Ellen, I notice that you seem to have little interest in having sex with men, and generally find the men you meet to be repulsive. You seem to enjoy the company of women quite a bit more than men. Have you considered that perhaps dating men is just not for you?
Sometimes, a hatred for men is just an escape for issues with your own sexuality.
The “act” itself is not always pleasurable, especially if the man is heavy and insists on staying on top. But if you like the man with his pants on, it will still be OK when you peel them off.
I disagree with this. Plenty of us do not particularly care for the physical aspects of intercourse with men, but that is a far cry from implying that we will appreciate the company of women for sex. With all of the bad experiences so many of us have had with men, it is only natural to vent once in a while, as Ellen does–yet she keeps trying with new men hoping to find “the one” if such person exists, and I hope he does for her sake, because I doubt she is ever going to have women for anything other than platonic friendships.
There was a huge article on Jezebel . c o m recently about how Anne of Green Gables was “homoromantic” i.e. emotional, I think? But NOT sexual? with Diana Barry, and just not feelin’ it for Gilbert Blythe. I don’t know if I’m 100% sold on that theory (there was obvious-to-this-pre-adolescent-girl chemistry with GB from the moment that slate cracked over his head) but it’s interesting.
I just layer thick wool socks over whatever socks I’m already wearing. 5% of the cost :) Doesn’t give you the tread though.
DANGER! This is very dangerous.
?! I have carpet (no slipping on hardwood) and a humidifier (no static shocks)…I’m failing to see the CAPS levels of concern.
Wearing socks is all caps lock dangerous?
Wearing socks… eh… I’d vote lowercase danger.
Getting excited with the Pledge because it makes everything so delightfully shiny and using said Lemon Pledge to clean your (wood) bathroom floor? DANGER!
My husband still asks every time I clean the floors ‘ummm… you didn’t use pledge on any of them, did you?’ He was almost my unwitting victim.
Wool socks on wood floors are all caps dangerous. I was so concerned about Mpls I forgot not all floors are wood.
Carry on, carpe t t e d corpor e t t e s.
Thanks for looking out for me, Wildkitten.
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul
If anyone needs a laugh today, check out this dog that failed obedience training in the funniest possible way:
Ha! that is wonderful and reminds me of this gif http://i.imgur.com/ki41AH1.gif
If you first don’t succeed, redefine success
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul
HA! I love that bunny!
For this dog, success was all.the.hotdogs.
That dog has his priorities in order. Thanks for the smile :)
Speaking of cold…. Has anyone figure out how to avoid hat hair? I got a fake fur hat — very Dr. Zhivago — but not sure how to deal with my hair after.
What’s the problem? Is it mostly static? If so, I find a bit of hand lotion (just so there’s a light residue on your hands) helps calm down the static.
Not the OP, but for me it’s flat hair— sometimes when I wear a hat I part my hair on the wrong side, so that when I take the hat off I can flip the part over– if that makes sense. But mostly I don’t have a good solution.
Static is part of it, but it’s really flat hair. My hair just looks deflated all day after. Not a good look.
Summer and winter i fluff my hair at the top before putting a hat on. In the winter, I spray static guard in the inside of the hat before putting it on so that it doesn’t get flat AND static-y.
I can’t wear most hats because of horrible flattening plus static… not a good look.
I have great luck with cloche hats though, they dont flatten and they look so darned elegant
Anyone else waiting for CA bar results today? I took and passed another state’s bar 6 years ago but decided to take CA because my spouse is from there, we want to move back eventually, and there’s no waiving in ever. I seriously underestimated the exam and have been anxious about the results all week (well, longer than that, but this week it’s become distracting). I’m so much more nervous than I was straight after law school when, you know, the results could have had an immediate effect on my career. It’s awful.
I’m not but I wanted to wish you good luck!
Where’s shots shots shots when you need her?
Shots. Shots. Shots.
Indeed. I specialize in waiting for bar results anxiety. Am not awesome at pre-bar exam anxiety though.
Thanks, folks. Today has been a total wash. I don’t think I can take this test again if I failed.
@Shots. Shots. Shots.: I feel like I missed something here, but I haven’t been on this site as much since I left corporate law. Are you waiting, too? If so, good luck!
Can I ask if you took the regular exam or the lawyers-only? I have considered taking CA in the past and am wondering if the lawyers only exam might be easier, but haven’t found much info.
I took the 2-day attorneys’ exam instead of the 3-day general bar exam. You sit for the Tuesday and Thursday sessions, each of which consists of 3 essays (3 hours total) and 1 performance test (3 hours). Basically, you get to skip the MBE, which is always administered on the Wednesday.
I have no idea if it’s easier to pass! I’ll let you know at 9pm ;) On the one hand, you don’t have to practice multiple choice questions, and you get a break in the middle of what would otherwise be a grueling 3-day exam. On the other hand, you still have to learn the MBE subjects for the essays, and CA essays are tough! I wondered afterward if I might have been better off taking the general exam so that I could use a comparatively strong MBE score to compensate for weaker essays…
Do you have to have practiced for a certain number of years to take the attorneys’ exam as opposed to the 3-day general bar exam? Or rather what are the qualifications to take the attorneys’ exam? (And I’d love to hear you report back on if you thought it was easier or not!)
You have to have been *admitted* to another US jurisdiction for 4 years prior to taking the attorneys’ exam. (Not sure what the requirement is for foreign attorneys.)
And I will report back either way! I will say that the CA bar is an endurance test, and having the middle day “off” felt like a huge advantage when I arrived on Thurs morning (relatively) refreshed and saw that several people didn’t even show up for the 3rd day! Now, of course, I’m second guessing myself.
I took the attorney’s exam. The pass rates for the attorney exam are very low (like, 30%); the pass rates for the three-day exam are much higher. There are lots of possible explanations, including 1) practicing attorneys don’t study for the exam, and 2) grading is much tougher on the essays than the MBEs. Probably some combo of all.
Earlier comment stuck in moderation but thanks to all who wished me luck! I will be back with an update. And fingers crossed for Shots if she’s waiting, too!
ETA: What Lorelei said. I didn’t know about the super low pass rate for the attorneys’ exam until after I registered for it.
Update: I passed! Whew. FWIW the two other lawyers I know who took the attorneys’ exam also passed. However, the pass rate for the July 2014 attorneys’ exam was 31% (compared to 49% for the general exam), so I’m not sure which exam I’d recommend (ha). I don’t think they publish the pass rate for lawyers who choose to take the general exam.
Congratulations! Waiting is the worst…glad you got good news.
One more follow up: did you study a lot/what did you do to prepare? I think I am in the delusional group of those lawyers who think maybe I can just fly in and wing it without much effort, but I am not sure that would yield a positive result. Curious what someone who passed actually did.
Thanks, Laura and AIMS!!!!
AIMS: I used the BarMax app (retails for $999 but nonprofit discount brought it down to around $400). I listened to the lectures during my runs or on my commute. I didn’t take notes or make my own outlines. I took 2 weeks off total: 1 week to memorize content and practice essays, and 1 week to fly out to CA and take the exam. During my study week, I totally secluded myself: I went out of town and told my office I was unreachable and off work email. That felt like the bare minimum needed to pass and, frankly, I’m surprised that I did. The CBX is a totally different animal than the bar I took straight out of law school.
I actually love these boots. I feel like a 16 year old wearing Uggs for some reason (seems to be the target demographic these days?) but they are so warm and comfy. I also find them to be surprisingly waterproof- you can’t step in a 6-in slush puddle, but I regularly wear them in the snow and rain and have never ended up with wet feet.
I’d love to poll people about their thoughts on talking to young girls (I’m thinking 8-10 all the way through the teenage years) about skincare/haircare/health/beauty/general maintenance. Personally, I’ve been thinking about the things I wish I had learned to do or been encouraged to do earlier in life (wear sunscreen religiously, figure out how to deal with my sensitive/combination/problem skin, learn how to wear makeup, etc.). At the same time, I appreciate that my mom never put a premium on appearance and looks. Here are my questions:
1. What do you remember from your own childhood/young adulthood? What do you appreciate, or not?
2. If you have/plan to have children, what is/will be your approach?
Before 10?! Nothing. After 10? I wish I had gone to a dermatologist in middle school instead of trying to combat acne from the aisles of CVS. But I think that the reason we didn’t was financial.
To me, sunscreen is different than the other items mentioned (beauty specific items). But I’m fair, as is my whole family. Sunscreen was drilled in from day one. I remember my mom pulling out the stick of banana boat and doing our nose and forehead every day in the summer before going out to play. The other items are definitely ones that I wouldn’t worry about at 8-10.
Agreed. Sunscreen from the moment you can talk. It’s not about wrinkles it’s about death.
Make up- nope. Some things in life you’re supposed to awkwardly muddle through on your own.
Hair- for me with stick straight hair there wasn’t much to learn. I do think straight haired moms of curly daughters have a responsibility to figure out how to treat their hair even if that means calling in the experts.
Acne- at 8-10, if acne is a big prob I’d see a derm. I’m generally of the opinion that if it’s not something a doctor needs to see, it’s not something that’s going to be fixed by snake oil anyway and it’s certainly not an issue to address with an 8 yr old.
Yes, a million times yes, to the ‘straight haired moms of curly haired daughters need to figure out some way to help’. My mother has fine, limp, stick straight hair. I…do not. It took me until I was 12 to convince her that cutting it herself straight across and brushing the death out of it was bad. And it took me another full year to get her to buy me conditioner after I figured out I needed it to make my hair behave itself in any way. Siiiiggggh. Long story short, curly hair is a whole different ballgame.
1. Before 10 – I had junky costume makeup to apply when playing dress-up. Around 10 or so, I was allowed to wear clear mascara and a touch of blush out of the house (I asked for it). Definitely felt like “makeup” but I also definitely didn’t look like I was actually wearing anything! When I was 12 and wanting to start really wearing makeup, my mom made an appointment with me at the Clinique counter and (in hindsight) had obviously spoken to the lady about making me happy / feel like I was wearing makeup, but to help achieve a more natural/classic look than I would have if let loose in the drugstore with my pocket money. Definitely appreciative, both for the lack of embarrassing #tbt posts and that I learned how to emphasize my best features with little effort.
2. Was taught to always wash my face when I got home (at least for the hormonal years) – kept acne at bay – and to wear sunscreen when outdoors for more than brief periods (hey, I would have burned anyway).
3. My mom was a SAHM, but would wear almost no makeup at home (maybe concealer and mascara?), put on just a touch of makeup for running errands, and saved lots of makeup for church, going out, etc. Good example that you don’t always have to be “done up” to be attractive or loved.
Basically, the messaging was (1) don’t grow up too fast, but here’s some age-appropriate ways to experiment, (2) choose classic options and care for your skin, (3) wear makeup to look polished when appropriate, but it’s not necessary all the time. I (hope I) turned out well-adjusted – plan to take similar approach with daughter if I have one – or if I have a daughter who’s not as eager with makeup as I was, that’s fine too!
I would have love to be taken to a Clinique counter, but again I think this is a financial thing. I still flinch at buying fancy makeup now (though I do it.)
I did have a visit to a makeup counter highly recommended by my friend. [Not Clinique.] I would have been a very period piece — if you recall Tess’s before look from Working Girl, that was close to it.
I hope that my daughters will go the preppy no-makeup look route (which also seems to play into the Madame Chic book as being a bit French (no obvious makeup)), at least at first.
Along the same lines, there was a very good Mary Kay rep in our area that my mom was friends with, and she did “mother and daughter” make-up parties where she taught us how to do “everyday” makeup (blush, mascara, lip gloss) and then how to make it a little heavier for school dances, etc. The first time I saw her was in 7th grade, and we went back every few years for a touch up and to buy a few new products. I’m grateful to this day looking back on pictures of me, my friends, my sister and her friends that she taught us things like how to wear eyeliner appropriately, to wear the right shades of foundation, blush and mascara (brown mascara looks so much less fake when you are pale!), and overall how to avoid the painful expirimentation phases some of our peers went through in learning to use make up. And while a lot of it wasn’t cheap, it also taught me that buying makeup from a place where you can try on multiple shades and just buy the one that works is cheaper than buying things from the drugstore and realizing after you lose the receipt that 2/3 to 3/4 is the wrong shade, consistency or just otherwise doesn’t work for you.
I’d take a look at what the other girls are doing/play by ear.
I started having issues with acne around age 9, and would have been so grateful if someone had taken me to the dermatologist that young and instilled basic good habits (don’t pick at it, wash your face everyday).
As for make-up, etc, I remember starting to play around at that age (fun lipgloss, body splash from Bath and Body works). I’d treat it as optional – if she’s interested, not a bad thing to let her play with her own lipgloss, etc, but if she’s not interested, well, who cares? She has PLENTY of time. Entering Middle School is an entirely different story…
10 May Be Too Late
Another perspective: it is possible that by 10, she has absorbed the fundamentals from watching you (I assume you are her mom) and that anything additional is simply fine tuning. I inherited a step-daugher when she was 10 1/2. I gave her a wide, wide berth on all things appearance-related and never commented on her appearance. Two exceptions: (1) as Maddie Ross says, I made sure she and her brother wore sunscreen (they are fair and we live in a very sunny area); and (2) I answered direct questions about attire for specific events (we need to dress up, jeans are OK, pack a bathing suit etc.). Other than that, I said nothing. And it was clear that she already had adoped her mom’s approach to skincare, health, beauty maintenance and all the other items you mention above.
My own experience: I wish someone had told me much earlier that it is all related, that I should pay attention to exercise, sun exposure, basic skin care, sleep etc.
10 May Be Too Late
Anonymous in NYC (below) makes an excellent point: My father ALWAYS commented about my weight when I came home from school (boarding school and college) and he hadn’t seen me in while. Positively or negatively (depending on whether I had gained or lost weight), but he always did it. I still remember that even though it was three decades ago.
The first time we saw my step-daughter after she had been away at college for a while, her father mentioned something to me in private about her weight. I told him about my father’s comments all those years ago, and we decided that we would not comment about her weight ever to spare her my experiences/memories.
This reads as you think you got stuck with an ugly trashy kid because her momma sucks, FYI. Hope that attitude doesn’t come across as clearly in person.
Huh? Where did you get ugly trashy from that? Genuinely asking because I read it a couple of times and don’t get that at all!
I didn’t get that impression at all. What made you think that?
The fact that its “too late” to turn the SD into a doll? Honestly who cares if she is not into a beauty routine at 10? let them be children for gods sake
(former) preg 3L
FWIW, I didn’t get that at all from reading the post.
Hey, I’m glad it’s apparently just me! It was from the 10 is too late which felt very doom and gloom. Glad to be mistaken!
10 May Be Too Late
Totally not what happened and totally not what I meant.
Uh yeah…. what?!
Funny, I read the opposite. I read it as she absorbed too much that appearances mattered instead of “be who you are” which she may have liked to have taught.
I was actually thinking that she ended up with a very classy kid and was giving all the credit to the mom.
Healthwise: my kids don’t floss, which is obviously problematic, but I didn’t floss myself until I turned 30. Now I’m pretty religious about it.
Honestly, it’s really hard to get kids to do anything they don’t want to do. They have to bathe, they have to brush, (and I make them wear sunscreen for major outdoor activities) but getting kids to use moisturizer? Good luck.
This is not to say that I haven’t taken my kids to dermatologists for acne and other issues. I have done so and it’s helpful.
I will talk about natural haircare. I want my (future) children to appreciate the texture of their hair and know how to care for it without wearing it straight. (Note: I’m black).
For skincare, it will be whenever the kids get acne! But that didn’t happen to me until middle school.
As far as the other stuff, we can discuss if the kid shows interest. I don’t think I’ll go about this in a gendered way either.
I love this! I’m black, with relaxed hair, and I wish my mom had instilled a love of natural hair in me. I’ll make a note of this for my future children.
It’s been a real asset. Growing up, I always wore my hair straight, but no relaxer. When I got sick of the blow dryers, flat irons, salon appointments, I got to just stop without transitioning. I just cut off the most heat damaged hair and kept it moving!
I think straight hair is something fun for me to do to mix things up, but I don’t feel like I “have to” to be professional or attractive etc.
Anon in NYC
The biggest thing that I hope to do with my kids is to promote (and set by example) a healthy lifestyle such as eating well and incorporating physical activity into their daily lives. But I will try very hard to not make it about their appearance or weight. My mother actually never did this, but my father was terrible about it. He would make comments about my appearance, acne, or whether I was “chunky” up through my early twenties when I firmly told him that he was never to comment about my body again. Even now (when I’m pregnant) he told me to watch my carbs (pretty much the only thing I’ve been able to stomach for weeks) so that I don’t gain too much weight.
I agree about the sunscreen – it never really seemed emphasized in my house unless we were going to the beach. As a result, I didn’t really start wearing it until I was in my late 20’s. My kids will be wearing it daily.
I would intervene a bit earlier with my kids on acne issues – teach them how to properly wash their face and take them to a dermatologist earlier. I had horrendous acne (was on Accutane twice) and my husband had bad childhood acne, and I would like to prevent my kids from feeling as embarrassed as I did.
anon a mouse
+1. My parents exercised regularly my entire childhood. We had family trips to the gym, or family hikes, and my parents also took turns going to the gym solo some nights after work. They never, EVER talked about losing weight, but they emphasized healthy food and being active. It wasn’t until I was living on my own that I realized what a great example they set for me and my siblings — not just by keeping us active but showing us that it’s not impossible to work it into an otherwise busy life.
I remember that my mom didn’t address it at all (along with any body changes, thank goodness for health ed at school), and my dad shamed me when he found me playing with lip gloss when I was 12, and forced me to go wash off mascara when I was 15. So…I recommend not that.
I wasn’t allowed to wear nail polish to school. And now I have a fancy professional job and wear colorful nail polish every day and am genuinely puzzled as to why my parents thought that was the bright line to enforce. I don’t remember any other rules – I wore garish lipstick in middle school – nail polish seems like the most innocent of options. So I won’t be using that rule for my kittens!
2. Floss (I do religiously; I hope they will copy when their fine motor skills improve)
3. No matter now intellectually interesting to you and how much you *think* it will help you understand biology and how much of an optimist you are and HOW YOU JUST CAN’T STAND IT A MINUTE LONGER, do not pick your zits (esp. if they are at the “angry pea-sized congestion under your skin” stage and haven’t ripened into a blackhead or whitehead yet).
I have the scars skin to prove myself right about #3. Hindsight is very 20-20.
Good luck (and I mean that in the nicest way possible). I think you CAN train kids from an early age to wear sunscreen and to floss daily (maybe), but I don’t think #3 is realistic … though we all know it’s the right thing to do.
My mom told me MANY MANY MANY times not to pick, but I could not help it. I still do it to this day even though I know it’s so bad.
ETA – I think it’s still worth trying to instill in your kids because maybe it will scare them enough but it didn’t work on me.
+1,000 to no picking! Like many others, my mother told me and I didn’t listen and now I have unfortunate scarring.
But I think that there’s a Part II to the no picking advice: equip your daughters with the power of really good concealer. It’s setting them up to fail to tell them not to pick and not help them in the cover-up process. But maybe that’s my wishful thinking and way to shift the blame back off of myself for blatantly ignoring my mother’s advice…
Agreed, I think even if a girl is just 11 or 12 she should be able to cover up a pimple even if you are opposed to all over makeup just yet.
This. My daughter has no interest in wearing making at 12, although many of her friends do. But she does use concealer on her acne.
She is religious about sunscreen, as am I.
Flossing is another thing I try to instill early.
My mother is very low-maintenance, and at this point, comes to me for hair and makeup tips, but at 12, she also took me to the clinique counter and got me a natural look that also helped to cover up the acne (a classmate once saw me in the bathroom putting on concealer and remarked she hadn’t even realized I wore makeup). She had perfect skin growing up, but I would’ve appreciated having it drilled into me that I needed to wash my face regularly (although the harsh cleansers I used as a teen probably irritated my sensitive skin and made the acne worse, honestly). We also wore/wear sunscreen religiously, as very pale people, and both my mothers and my skin look 10 years younger than it is.
I would’ve liked more instruction in basic beauty skills, like nail painting (finally mastered that at 27) and hair drying (mastered that at 28), so that my hair was sleek and bouncy in high school instead of completely flat and frizzy, but we didn’t even have a hair dryer in the house. I think it all depends on the kid. If she’s interested in looking a certain (age appropriate) way, but isn’t sure what to ask, there’s nothing wrong with guiding her in learning that. If she’s not interested, I’d drill in sleep hygiene, daily showers (teen girls sometimes are as bad as boys!), sunscreen, moisturizer, and washing/not picking her face.
The hair is the biggest thing for me, as well. I have fairly easy hair to deal with, but it gets really staticy/frizzy. It wasn’t until I was 27 that I found the means of keeping myself from looking like one of those static balls in Spenser’s all the time, and realized how much better I looked with my hair blown dry. I really wish I’d learned that stuff either.
Also nails, I’ve never managed to successfully stop biting my nails. My mom tried to get me to stop as a child, but I think I’ll probably be far more forceful with any child I have.
I’ll also drill in sunscreen, but it’s a much bigger deal here in Colorado than it was in the state I grew up in.
I’m a nail biter. Gel polish both curbs it and makes it less noticeable. YMMV.
The one thing I wish my mom had introduced me to earlier (not 8-10, but maybe early teenage years) was good brow tweezing techniques. She never really addressed it, and I had an awkward almost-unibrow in late middle school. At some point I went trial-and-error on my own, and while it wasn’t the disaster it could have been, the results were not great. I was probably in late high school before I really figured out proper tweezing. In retrospect, taking me to a salon where they could have taught me what to do, like the Clinique makeup counter, would have been good.
Oh god yes. I went to COLLEGE and my roommates sat me down and helped me tweeze. My mother was extremely low maintenance and didn’t help me at all with any beauty or fashion related things.
The funny thing is that my mom did teach me about sunscreen and washing my face and moisturizing, took me to get my hair highlighted, took me to the makeup counter sometime before high school. And she maintains her own brows. Now I’m a little curious about how/why the brow thing slipped :-)
My 14-yr old daughter could use some help with her eyebrows, but we’re at the stage where any comment I make about her appearance is considered a criticism, not a help, so I don’t say anything at all. We have light hair so all I do is tweeze every now & then to keep my eyebrows neat. She sees a derm for her skin so that thankfully is not on me, so maybe I should take her to an eyebrow place so someone else can tell her . . . any suggestions? She refuses make-up (at almost 15 and I have suggested it and even bought her some and she won’t go there). I’d love to take her to a make-up counter, but I think she would be furious if I even suggested it.
Hm…would she get a manicure or pedicure? You could loop that in as part of a “girls spa day”. Do you have any other females in your family who DO get their eyebrows done? As someone who had a unibrow in 8th grade, it may be an arguement but you really are doing her a favor longterm. She might even be getting teased about in school without you knowing.
I have been getting my brows waxed since I was 14. I don’t think I had a choice – my mom just started to taking me to get it done….still doing maintenance at 36.
Anon in NYC
When I was a kid I was painfully embarrassed about stuff like tweezing my eyebrows or makeup. I honestly can’t remember why – it seems so irrational now. Do you have a friend who can act like a cool aunt and take her to a makeup counter? Or maybe she can accompany you to an eyebrow place and watch you get your eyebrows done (and then you can suggest to her that she have hers done)?
Why does a 14 year old need to have “maintained” or styled eyebrows? Jeesh.
Right. Maybe she reads all of your “comments ” about her appearance as criticism because that is what they are.
Agreed. She’s 14–if it’s something that doesn’t seem to bother her, why add to the list of things she “needs” to spend time or brain cycles on? Actually, even as an adult, I tweeze a little in between but mine are left mostly natural. Every so often they’re in fashion (think Brooke Shields type eyebrows), but I’m not bothered when they aren’t. H(er)MMV.
Eh, I disagree about hair removal in particular. I was a pain about any criticism at that age, but I also couldn’t take care of hair removal on my own (though I tried, with disastrous and potentially dangerous results…oh Nair). I felt like I couldn’t ask them because I felt weird for feeling bad about my appearance (because I knew it “wasn’t supposed to be important”) but I suffered a lot of teasing because of excess body and facial hair all throughout school. If my mom (or dad) had stepped in and said, I know this is embarrassing but this will help you – I would have been so relieved, if temporarily embarrassed. My parents were oblivious, though.
I guess it depends on objectively how “bad” the situation is. I honestly feel so much better about myself and more confident now that I’ve had laser hair removal on my arms and get my eyebrows and upper lip threaded regularly. I wish my parents had helped me do that sooner.
Make up, however, I was not interested in, didn’t really wear except for special occasions, and still don’t really wear unless I have to. So unless she expresses interest in that, I’d leave that alone.
L in DC
+1 If it doesn’t appears to interest or bother her, I would leave it alone.
Maybe just let her rock her face the way it grows?
Why do you think a 14 year old would need makeup?
Assuming you are a reasonably polished woman, she may choose less maintenance as a form of rebellion.
L in DC
This is also a good observation.
Hi, I have an 11 year old daughter who started middle school this fall (that 6th grade where I am). Starting at 9 we focused on just taking care of yourself. Being clean, which includes showering every day, being neat including clothes that fit and are age appropriate as well as combing your hair. We also started with washing of the face and wearing deodorant. She had always done sun screen but now its not me slathering it on but her responsibility. I let her wear a light pink lip balm for special occasions but no other make up. In general our focus has been on clean and neat. I want her to understand the importance of taking care of herself. Her older brother has terrible acne that he sees a dermatologist for so she sees why keeping her face clean is important. Hope that helps!
I don’t mean this to be negative at all, but coming from someone who had terrible acne at a young age, I washed my faced religiously (twice a day) and still had terrible acne. It often times does not have to do with cleanliness because there are many factors at play. Just wanted to add that.
+1. Also to the “preppy bare-faced look” comment above. . . it irritates me for some reason. It ties together the “desirable” (a preppy look) with the “fortunate” (looks good without makeup) in my mind. I guess I’m jealous since I need a little makeup to enhance things.
I don’t love the association either, but for me what it did was equate being classy/elegant/restrained/elite/successful with being bare-faced. When I was around 14 I wore crazy paint-by-numbers makeup from the drugstore–bright jungle green eyeshadow, neon lipstick, etc., all at the same time–and though my mom has never worn any makeup at all I really appreciate that she just let me do what I wanted to do. Looking back on it, I think I was mentally working through what being a woman was going to mean for me. (I am now outrageous in less visual ways.)
I think it’s “no obvious makeup” for the preppy look. [Or, from Working Girl: Tess Before v. Tess After.]
Spackling, powder, good grooming: all yes.
Tweeze the unibrow, eliminate the mustache (in our family, it is tough to be a furry brunette): oui!
Too much bronzer, too much anything, garish colors: non!
Also: children are dressing for daytime. Daytime is not the time for obvious makeup! Save your smoky eye for prom (if you have to do it) or playing dressup.
COL, it was clear that you think bright makeup is declasse. What I’m suggesting is that if one ends up with a daughter who wants to wear it, maybe that should be allowed. Makeup is personal and can have many meanings.
+1. Whenever I got zits my mother told me it was my fault because I didn’t wash my face enough and it made me feel ashamed and I tried to hide it from her so she wouldn’t get upset. Which, I assume, is the opposite of what a mother is trying to accomplish in this “educate your daughter” scenario.
Shots. Shots. Shots.
Acne, bad acne, has nothing to do with cleanliness. I would have hoped a derm would have explained that to you.
And it’s easy to favor a preppy no makeup look when your skin is flawless.
My mom worked from home and never wore much makeup unless she was going out. She did, however, sell Mary Kay and is absolutely convinced that it is the key to amazing skin. (To her credit, she’s nearly 70 and her skin is amazing, so maybe MK PSA? lol). Therefore taking care of your skin was drilled in from an early age. Also, I wasn’t allowed to wear makeup until high school but I think I sneaked a bit in 7th or 8th grade.
I think the advice of letting your kids take the lead is spot on. I was interested and learned how to apply makeup by watching my Mom. Some of my favorite memories were watching my mom get ready for a special night out, doing her makeup with her hair up in hot rollers. Just thinking about it – I can smell a whiff of White Shoulders. The best part – she’d kiss me on the lips instead of blotting so I could ‘wear’ some of her lipstick.
My one regret – My 80’s full volume frizzy hair was NOT cool in the sleek minimal 90’s. If her hair is wider than her shoulders, get the girl a straightener!
Taylor Swift’s old hairsyle still seems to be a thing, so girls with that level of frizz need to get the right haircut, learn proper techniques, such as avoiding brushes, and using proper tools and products, such as conditioners and wide-toothed combs.
This! As someone with naturally curly/kinky hair, I hate that the response to “non-standard” hair is to straighten it instead of learning how to work with it. It’s fine if she wants to straighten it, but the first step should be learning how to care for it in its curly state.
Something I’ve thought about so much! So my mom was really really shy about this stuff. She literally did not address deoderant or shaving. Thank god at some point I got a hold of deoderant, but I was like the last girl in my class to wear a bra (needed one) and the last girl to shave when I wanted to. It was so embarassing and I think it was her responsibility to lead and not just take the cue from me, because I was like 12, and couldn’t bring up that stuff. I want to be really open if I have a daughter when talking about it. In terms of skincare/makeup, I wasn’t allowed to wear any (even lipsmackers lip gloss) until my 13th birthday and then my mom took me to the clinique counter and got me a whole set of makeup. I wish she had taken me to the derm instead of combatting acne through over the counter stuff. My mom isn’t into hair/makeup so thankfully my older sister helped me out with styling when I got to 8th or 9th grade and I’ve had good looking hair since then (plus this is when straighteners became more popular). My sister also had to tell my mom to get my eyebrows waxed cause I had a unibrow. Writing this all out makes it sound so sad! haha! So basically, teach them the essentials of looking like a normal human being like having their hair manageable, face clean, etc….
One thing my mom did right? Never, ever, talking about the weight/size of herself or another woman or her daughters. My sister and I don’t have any body complexes or issues with food because of it.
Same with me…I was a shy kid. My mom was extremely embarrassed to talk about anything remotely related to s*xuality. She acted like nothing was happening to me when I was going through puberty. I had unibrow, mustache and I was a nerdy kid. It was just extremely painful for me when other kids made fun of me. I was the last girl in the class to wear a bra. I just wanted to avoid other kids to save myself from painful encounters. Her expectation was that I should just study and that is what good children do. So she never bought me any make up and I was not supposed to ask her to get me make up.
Partly, she just didn’t understand that I was different from her. She was a very cute kid who became the woman who fits into society’s expectations about how a woman should look like. She didn’t have to do anything extra to fit in, neither any one criticized her looks. It was a total non issue for her. She just assumed that it should be the same for me.
I was 17 by the time when she realized what I was going through. She felt bad about what happened. She encouraged me to solve my problems. She came to saloons to get my face waxed and to get a facial done every 3 – 4 weeks.
Even now, it hurts me when I think about what I went through (and that too for no good reason). I always think about what I can do if I have a daughter to spare her from this misery. I really don’t have a conclusive answer. I think from the beginning, I will place emphasis on healthy eating, physical activity and hygiene. But around puberty age, I will take her to a physician/nurse regularly to help her understand her body, ask questions and get to know all she wants to know and not feel ashamed. If there are issues like (facial hair, acne), I am going to proactively address them and not wait for her to feel uncomfortable and tell me that she needs them to be addressed. I will instill the importance of looking presentable (clean nails, combed hair etc).If she wants to experiment with hair and make up, I will just go along with that. If she doesn’t care for makeup, then it’s okay too.
1. What do you remember from your own childhood/young adulthood? What do you appreciate, or not?
Growing up, I was taught that kids should not wear makeup because the makeup that we can afford at that age on our tiny allowance is not good for your skin, so bare face it was. Sunscreen encouraged whenever going outside for long periods of time. I watched my mom put on skin care products and asked her what she was doing (like anti-wrinkle cream) and since I wanted to be just like her, I put lotion on my face the same way she did (LOL). For acne, doctor-prescribed creams will do. No need for “concealer” or whatever – lots of people get pimples, it’s part of growing up. We were rarely allowed to wear nail polish.
I appreciated not putting makeup on my face when I was young.
2. If you have/plan to have children, what is/will be your approach?
Same approach. I think I would teach my daughter about skin care in more detail when she’s in her late teens or 20s – right when they’re kind of getting out of the acne age and into the real world where maybe the makeup is more necessary.
For hair care, I grew up washing my hair once every two days, and blow drying afterward every time. We didn’t use conditioner until late junior high or high school. I started using more expensive hair products when I was more able to afford buying it myself. And I’d probably teach her how to braid and put up her hair and how to wash, rinse, and dry it.
Girls who participate in dance, theater, and other hobbies that include heavy makeup should definitely get a tutorial as to how to create a toned-down look for when they are not trying to make their features visible to the back row of an audience. As a kid, my hobbies were playing the harp and swimming, so nail care was ignored beyond short and clean. The nails needed to be short for playing music and polish was unlikely to stay on due to scraping one’s nails on the pool deck or on the sides or bottom of the pool.
I feel fortunate that my mother modeled heatlhy eating and natural hair care, and my falther modeled cooking with real food and exercise. As a family, we would take trips to the park to go for a walk and we refuse to pay $$$ for parking, so we got used to parking a mile away if needed in order to save money.
+1000 about girls in dance, theater, etc getting a tutorial for an everyday look. I danced for a long time, and at the age when most of my friends were wearing makeup, I had no interest, because makeup in my mind equaled heavy stage make up. The “I can see you from a mile away” look was one I knew how to recreate, but I had no idea how to tone it down.
Now, I know enough to do something subtle for a formal event, but otherwise I don’t wear makeup at all outside of some lip gloss. I still haven’t lost the association of makeup = layers and layers and layers of foundation, powder, lipstick, eyeliner, mascara…
As others have commented:
Sunscreen from the getgo and basic skincare when appropriate. Makeup was very very late for me, but I’m glad. Also never heard comments on body image which was very helpful.
But for me (and possibly your girls depending on your ethnicity), it was about HAIR. Being able to care for my thick hair, dry it, style it, etc. It was less about beauty and more about learning to do things for myself so that my mom didn’t have to do it as well. And not just hair on the head, but my mom taught me to tweeze (unibrow at first, shaping much much later), how to shave, and when it was time to start on deodorant. Some of us are hairier! :)
My mom wears zero make up, doesn’t paint her nails, doesn’t dye her hair, doesn’t use product in her hair, etc. I appreciate the fact that I feel totally comfortable not wearing make up, or dying my hair. However the bigger battle as a child/youth was that she didn’t ask me if I was interested in for example shaving my legs so I had to just announce I was doing that and discover it myself. I think this was because it didn’t occur for her that I would be/didn’t want to push social norms on me. Suncare -hats/sunblock was really really really pushed on it. And I am still bad as it as an adult. Whoops.
It was a lot easier for my younger sister because I had already fought the battle of shaving my legs, buying hair products that actually make my hair not a rats nest, getting a hair dryer. Or bras. My mom doesn’t wear one (uggg) so I as an awkward middle schooler had to announce that I needed a bra to be appropriate at school and battle her to get one. Which when you are a puberty embarrassed kid its never fun to have to do that.
I still feel inexperienced wearing make up and it really bothers me. I wish I had learned it younger.
My parents also never role modeled regular exercise and didn’t include us in that. You learn habits as a child through what they include you in. So for example library use is still big with me, because I went every week with my parents. Or even though my fiancee and I don’t really know what we believe faith wise, we do love the community aspect of going to synagogue and that was a habit I picked up from going to church every week with my parents, and he picked up from going to shul every week with his family. So yes I am an adult that can make her own decisions, but because going to the gym was not part of my life while living with my parents, it has been much harder to add to my schedule, than my friends that worked out with their parents weekly.
With my own children I hope to try to give them more options about their care but also teach them how to wash their face, shave etc so they learn how to do it correctly. I think I spent years in middle school having worse acne just from over washing my face.
I will encourage my daughter to use a DivaCup because man are they amazing!
Boys get acne, too! My 15 year old has braces and pimples and dirty toe nails. Even though dad is well-groomed, it is a constant issue with my son to get him to care even though he does have a girlfriend! I mean, he cares that he has pimples but won’t make the connection between washing and the acne. He is just at the stage where a “good morning” gets an adolescent grunt so nagging really isn’t the answer. Should I drag him to a dermatologist?
Yes. Pimples do not mean a dirty face.
Dirty toe nails…sounds like my 15 yo. He primps in front of the mirror and we seem to be on top of the acne battle right now but the toe nails are just gross.
As a mom of a son, this thread is so interesting to me!
I do think we are always influencing our children. I talked to my son about wrinkles the other day – should I stop smiling and laughing so that I don’t get wrinkles? He said no.
Would love to see a similar thread for boys, on so many levels. So many thoughts that I am thinking? You?
Recommendations for eliptical trainers for home? Does anyone have a brand, or better yet a specific model, they love? I’d love to spend less than $1000, but am willing to go up to $1500 if truly awesome/quiet/necessary.
We’ve gotten our treadmills used on Craigslist. So many bargains there. Also try Play It Again Sports – they have many used machines that you can try out in the store.
This seems like a good time to as for recs for a good commuting shoe for the cold. I wear heels or flats once i am in the building, but would love a good slip on shoe I could wear to get to work- doesnt have to be super stylish just something that wont look horrifying with pants. bonus points if it can be worn without socks but still be warm- I guess I am thinking of kind of an outdoor moc slipper
They aren’t cheap and they aren’t for every foot shape, but Dansko Professional Clogs in black patent are great. For cold and wet and rainy or snowy, they lift you right out of the muck and you can–if you want–fit wooly socks into them with pants, or just wear them with tights. I commute in them on days when I’m not already wearing sturdy shoes, and I change at work. Bonus is that in a pinch (the pinchiest of pinches, know your work place) they can be worn all day with pants.
I know over the years I’ve seen a lot of research saying that just putting your head down and doing good work is not enough to make a woman succeed. I’m looking for a reasonable intro article on this topic for someone (a male higher-up at my office) who is not familiar with this concept. Anyone have something useful on this? I think this guy has good intentions, but just has a real blind spot around this particular piece of advice. I’m not having any luck searching for the kind of relatively short, accessible, starter article that I’m thinking of. Thanks!
I think that advice applies to everyone, not just women.
Agreed – but it’s often a particular problem for women.
Is that unique to women? (Just this issue- obvious there a million other things women have to deal with in the workplace that men don’t) Putting your head down and doing good work is absolutely enough for a woman or man to suceed, but if you are talking about getting to that “next level” (partner, etc) there is a level of networking, etc that is required. Now, I would bet that these opportunities come easier to men and they get easier access to those chances- but I don’t think a man can put his head down and do good work get to that level either. So you may just need to refine your search based on that- I think you are looking for articles or resources about how its easier for men to network maybe?
There was something recently making the rounds, possibly on Slate?, about women needing to focus more on networking and less on keeping head down & working hard. Google is not helping me find it — good luck!
You might have luck looking at catalyst. I don’t have a specific study in mind, but sounds like something they might cover.
LEVO league is a great resource for this stuff.
I just had a great customer experience with Fitbit support. Just figured I would share. I’ve been wearing my Zip for about eight months now and it’s really changed some of my habits for the better!!
Nordstrom is ending it’s half-year sales. Have you guys heard about this?
Short form Q: Do the drawbacks (i.e. insane hours) of prestigious, NYC-modeled firms outweigh the potential benefits of excellent training and sophisticated work?
Long form Q: I’m a junior associate at a large firm that’s not quite meeting my expectations as far as training goes (there are also some workflow issues that result mostly in the way our office and group are structured that I think prevent me from getting enough good work). I’m contemplating a move to a satellite office of a NY-based firm that’s known to be really demanding but do great work, and there are a lot more attorneys in my area of practice. I want to believe that I’m prepared for a big time commitment, but how can anyone really know? I of course want to preserve as good of a work-life balance as I can, but I fear that if I don’t invest enough time as a young associate grinding and learning as much as possible, I’ll look back and regret it.
Thoughts? Has anyone gone through something similar? The way I see it, being a junior associate in Big Law is rough no matter how you slice it- you might as well be learning as much as possible. Is that naive?
How much of a satellite office is it? If the group you’re with has good work and good partners (and clients), local to you, then there should be a long-term benefit if you can tough it out 2 years or so.
Also, some BigLaw is a perpetual grind, and some is horrible peaks and troughs. They may give you an idea of which is which. 200 hours a month may be OK, but there is no pretty way to do 300 hours a month. Like politics, everything is local.
IME, you can’t really know what’s going on for real in any biglaw office for at least a year–there’s a lot of political/billing/bonus/mat leave stuff that is just not obvious, even if you’re looking for it.
I think it’s naive to think that you can dictate work-life balance in almost any biglaw situation without negotiating that in advance (and even then, you are hamstringing yourself before you even start).
I don’t think that more hours in biglaw necessarily means more trained–there are certain tasks that simply aren’t given to junior associates until they reach, say, their third year, in most groups, regardless of firm.
All of these are generalizations, but it is foolish to believe the grass is greener based on headcount or practice area–you really need a _great_ recruiter, former associate or current associate to tell you the real deal to actually understand an office and a practice area’s dynamics. And even then, depending on the work style/assignment structure of the group/office/firm, what you do can vary greatly from what the associate sitting next door does. Sorry….this is just all conjecture unless you know someone to give you the skinny.
Anon for this
I just made the move from a large firm (not in NY, but large nonetheless) to a boutique specifically because I wanted more training. The boutique I moved to is just as prestigious, if not more so, but definitely does not have some of the same structural benefits that came with a large firm (not as sophisticated IT, copy room, HR, etc.) The boutique also has tougher hours.
I think it’s been worth it, so far. I was concerned after 2 years in BigLaw that the work I was doing and oversight I was getting was simply not preparing me to be a complex business litigator. Now, I’m the second attorney staffed on all my cases (not the third or fourth) and am getting a ton of attention and direction from the partners.
L in DC
I would say yes. I would actually avoid the white shoe firms that bill themselves as “NYC-modeled” firms. You can get the same quality of work at a more “normal” but still biglaw office that is a bit more reasonable in terms of hours (2000 vs. 2300) and still pays NY market rates. This is the set-up that I currently have; the work is interesting and complex, the partners are insanely competent but still nice people and the hours are sustainable. Really though, the job is already consuming enough at 200 hours a month. 300 hour months doesn’t leave you time for anything but work and sleep. In my opinion, you can learn and grow much more if you’re working more normal hours because you have time to spend really digging into your assignments. Not to mention all the people I’ve known who started out psyched to work crazy hours at a prestigious firm and then ended up completely burnt out and hating the job all of six months later. On the other hand, I am in a more advisory/transactional practice, so ymmv for litigation.
Lawyers at Home
Any lawyers who work from home all or most of the time? Practicing law or in a related field? How did you get there?
I realized that’s my dream life. I easily bill hours when i work from home on the weekend, but the hours drag in the office if I don’t have meetings. I don’t need to switch any time soon – I love my firm and my job. But I like having long term goals. Currently a litigation associate if that helps.
I’m a lawyer who works from home. I’m essentially a contract worker for the state. There are big pluses and minuses. Obviously, control over my schedule is key, and the comfort can’t be beat. However, I often feel isolated and although I’m in court occasionally, I do miss getting dressed up every day. I try to stick to a normal schedule (for me, getting up early and working out, putting on real clothes even if that means jeans and a sweatshirt, taking a real lunch break, etc.).
On balance, I definitely prefer working from home (office politics and climbing the corporate ladder were never my thing), but it’s certainly not a perfect situation either. I’m at home a lot, but I’ve also become that person I used to hate who hangs out in coffee shops for 5 hours just for the free wifi.
I’m a lawyer. I work for a small firm in a niche litigation practice. I work about a 60% schedule (fluctuates, but that’s average), and I split between my firm’s office (about 10 hours/week on average) and an office in my home. I love it, but I realize this flexibility is hard to come by. I feel like I’m much more efficient when working from home because I have fewer distractions/people coming into my office. When I’m at home, people are more likely to email me if they need something, and they only call if it’s necessary/important, not just to shoot the breeze.
[ETA: Deleted because I posted in the wrong spot.]
Business travel question: I have my first business trip coming up in the next few weeks, and it involves flying. Has anyone had airline trouble with the size of your personal item? I’ve heard United or one of the big ones is getting strict about limiting the size. I will have my laptop and there are very few fashionable totes that will fit a laptop and still conform to these guidelines:
Any suggestions or advice? Thanks!
If you need to check a bag, your employer should reimburse you, or otherwise pay for the charge, it’s part of the business expense of travel, just save your receipts if you pay out of pocket.
There are times when I travel that I can make it happen for all-carry-on, there are others when it’s too much trouble and worth the fees, if that is how the airline rolls.
When I have my kids with me, I use a backpack-style bag for the laptop to leave my hands free, and tuck my small purse in that, and it goes under the seat in front of me. Rolling carry-on goes above. I have a larger tote, that if it’s not overfilled, will fold over and slide under the seat in front of me. Hope this helps.
The summary is – I’ve packed bigger bags, but don’t get called on them for my laptop if they consolidate to The Bag That Fits Under The Seat In Front of Me.
I don’t think checking a bag is a good solution: I don’t check bags on out-bound business or vacation flights – not because of the cost but because I’ve had bags delayed so often. They aren’t lost- they just take an extra 12-24 hours to get there, which ruins vacations but is more than a royal pain and could be a disaster on a business trip. Checked bags can also delay you if you have a tight deadline after landing.
One thing I do is to put my laptop into a thin sleeve (like a BuiltNY one) and stick it in my carry-on suitcase after I pass through security and leave it there until I board and then take it out. That would also save you from buying a new tote just to meet airline regs.
I don’t know where you are in your career or which industry you’re in, but when I was an associate at a law firm, checking a bag was a good way to get an angry talk from a partner and a way to ensure you didn’t get to travel in the future: it implied a lack of awareness of costs (since clients pay for your time waiting around) and naivete (not realizing everyone else was packing carry-ons for anything less than a two week trip). I have never had an issue with any of my large totes/purses that I would throw my laptop into as long as it fits under the seat. Assuming you have that and a normal rollerbag as your other carry-on, I can’t imagine a problem. In my experience, the roller bag is likelier to be the issue, especially when flying on regional American or smaller European planes.
Depending on where you are flying, sometimes larger things like roller bags just don’t fit, even if you are used to having them fit for personal travel. I travel a lot on small commuter flights (the ones with one seat on one side and two on the other), and I’ve had bags gate checked at no cost. I have never had trouble with my laptop bag, which is a Timbuk2 tote bag (just to give you an idea of size). I have recently traveled with United with that bag and had no issues.
I fully intend to avoid checking anything, ever, business or personal. This is for client work and I’ll be with several seasoned business travelers.
What kind of crazy big totes are you looking at? You can still carry on, for example, a Lo & Sons OG.
That’s what I needed to hear! Thanks!
So, we replaced our mattress last weekend, with one that is much thicker, and already have a stockpile of linens. I would love to find JUST fitted sheets, but haven’t found ones whose reviews don’t scare me off. Anyone out there figure this one out?
Lands End will sell just fitted sheets, and their home goods have a pretty good reputation. I think The Company Store also does fitted sheets only, and I’ve been happy with everything I’ve gotten from them.
+1. I really like their sateen sheets from Eileen Fisher.
I got sheets from Parachute recently. The fitted sheets have very deep pockets and they sell fitted and flat sheets separately.
Any tips on how to dress for a college teaching interview (not a university, but a two-year college sort of thing). I’m thinking I’ll wear what I would normally wear to a corporate interview (black pantsuit), but thought I would check in here and see if anyone has experience with this. Will I be much more dressed up than my interviewers? Does it matter?
The full-on black pantsuit may be over-powering. You will need to convince the committee that you are accessible to students, so browns, navy blues, etc. will likely read “more approachable”. Interviewers will likely be more casual than you. What subject area?
Love, Former Community College Adjunct turned Lawyer
Probably, but I doubt that will be an issue to them. The norms of business attire just aren’t the same kind of priority in education. If you want to go a little more interesting/casual with shoes and accessories, you should be absolutely fine.
I wore a blazer and skirt separates to a similar interview if that helps.
Reminder: DC brunch tomorrow at noon at the coupe. Let me know if you’re coming so I can get a big enough table by email at dccorpore##e at yahoo dot com. All welcome!
This may have been covered before but we’re considering moving from NYC to the DC area in the next year or two. We’re mid-thirties and planning for a baby. I am a lawyer working in public policy and could probably transfer my job to DC without losing it. But beyond that, DC would probably have more job opportunities for me in general. My husband is looking for a job change as well and works in IT and is pretty flexible.
We are considering renting in Alexandria or Arlington for a year while we figure out where in the area we would want to buy a modest sized house or townhouse (ideally 3BR for under $500K)–we are definiteyl willing to move farther out into the suburbs but would probably still have to commute into DC for at least a little while until we transition into different jobs.
The reason we’re leaning VA is because I have a lot of family in that area and grew up there. It’s also important to us to move somewhere with strong public schools and we like VA colleges as options for down the road. I haven’t lived there since 1997 and really worry that I’ll find it suffocating (too suburban? too conservative?) but I know that it’s changed a lot since then. We are also concerned that it’s too pricey — though it can’t be pricier than NYC, right?
Wondering if others have made a similar move and/or have general thoughts or advice. For what it’s worth, we’re thoroughly over NYC and are dying to move someplace a little more sane and tranquil. DC still seems a bit too “city” for me right now, and I worry about public school options and affordability there.
Thanks, all! Hope it’s not too late in the weekend. (I’ll repost on Monday otherwise!)
I haven’t made that move but think it’s doable if you’re willing to deal with the traffic. I think anything along 66 will be less painful than down 95. There are homes in your price range in the Falls Church and Vienna areas which aren’t too far away. There also seems to be a lot of new development along the new silver line.
Traffic is really, really bad on 66, and whenever I check traffic (2x day, before leaving home and work) 66 is usually worse than 95.
Is it crazy to think we could get someplace like this that’s metro-accessible without a drive (maybe just a longish walk)?
We own a 3/4 BD townhouse inside the Beltway about 15 min walk to Metro, <$500k. It's an older unit, but definitely possible.
Traveling with babies?
Where, and when did you buy it?
anon a mouse
Definitely look by the end of the yellow line, around Huntington. Lots of townhomes/small SF homes that are in your budget. They are not shiny and new, but will be walkable to the Metro. You also should be able to find something along the 95 corridor in S Arlington (closer to Shirlington/Baileys Crossroads) or West End Alexandria if metro isn’t a priority.
I think there are more metro accessible places off 66 or at least places with a short drive to the metro.
Any other biglaw lawyers doing a lot of mental shopping this weekend following the Paul Weiss/Simpson Thacher bonus announcements? I will probably spend most of whatever I get paying down mortgage/student loans/etc. (boring), but day dreaming of a fun purchase or two as well…
Anyone see a really gorgeous blue leather purse recently? I saw an indigo Louis Vuitton Alma on someone a few weeks ago that I can’t get out of my head, but it isn’t currently available in that color. I’m usually a Bucket 3 girl, but am willing to go up by a bit.
Have you considered Saint Laurent Sac du Jour? I personally prefer it in black but it does come in a lovely navy blue as well as a brighter blue.
I’m pretty much positive that I’m buying a Sac du Jour with my bonus. I only wish the large came in more colors.
Prada has a number of gorgeous blue bags right now (my favorite is the Prada City Calf Double Bag – LOVE).
Excellent suggestion — yes, that is gorgeous. I love the Blue in the Large size (and concur with cbackson that I wish all the fun colors available in the smaller sizes were also available in large!!!)