ByKat Hours Updated
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Weekend Open Thread

Patagonia Bandha Dress | CorporetteSomething on your mind? Chat about it here. The weather is finally starting to get warmer, so of course my thoughts are turning to travel and casual summer weekends. I always think back to this interesting article in the NYT a few years ago, which mentioned the perfect packable travel dress: the Patagonia Bandha. As the article noted, the dress is “made of a moisture-wicking, wrinkle-resistant fabric originally designed for climbing tights. ‘It’s pretty much smellproof and wrinkleproof,' Ms. Fox said. ‘You can dress it up or down.'”  Well then! Now that 6pm has it in 4 colors — all marked down to $31-$39 — I may just have to take the plunge. The pictured dress, in whiskey plum, is $31.60. Patagonia Bandha Dress Ladies, what are your favorite secrets for packable dresses and the like?  N.B.: 6pm is having a killer sale on Nine West heels, with prices up to 73% off. I love these pumps for work. (L-4)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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211 Comments

  1. Speaking of travel, my son is home and out of the Marines, and about to start grad school, and he and I are thinking about taking a trip to Europe in the next couple of months to celebrate. Problem is, I’m overwhelmed at the thought of planning and executing a big trip in such a short time — my usual M.O. is to plan my trips a year or more in advance and spend all kinds of time studying up and researching my options.

    Is there even such a thing as a travel agent any more? I’d love to just dump the whole thing in the hands of an expert and say “We want two nights here, three nights there, transportation between X and Y, airfare, and here’s our budget: GO!” Have any of you used a travel agent, either in the Los Angeles area or online, that you can recommend?

    Failing that, does anybody have recommendations for inexpensive hotels in London, Paris, and Barcelona? We have to get two rooms, which adds up fast, so we’ve decided to go as cheap as possible on the accommodations in order to save money for higher priority items like premium economy airfare (because I will not fly coach across the ocean).

    Thanks for any input!

    1. I’ve never used a travel agent with a Europe trip because I find it’s not that difficult to make the arrangements yourself. I think the first thing to do is book your flights there and back i.e. flying to London, flying back from Barcelona or whatever order you decide to do it.

      Then it’s really easy to make your arrangements in between. Check for easyjet or ryan air flights in between all 3 cities. It’ll be pretty reasonably priced (although they definitely are budget airlines but for one hour, I don’t think it’s too problematic).

      I’ve gotten really good deals in Europe using priceline or hostelworld.com (there are plenty of hostels in Europe that do have private bathrooms and single person rooms if you’re willing to go there – I found them really clean but you have to read the reviews).

      Your trip sounds like so much fun! I did a similar trip (same 3 cities) plus Grenada and Madrid a few years ago and I desperately want to go back to Barcelona.

    2. dude there are TOTALLY travel agents still!! my parents use their travel agent for everything, and because she is super amazing and loves them, she even helps out with one off travel things for no money. She does exactly what you describe. For some things there is like a $50 or $100 fee added to my parents’ bill, for other things she actually gets her fee from the business. They feel like it is more than worth every penny.

      Unfortch, theirs is in Northern VA, but I can give you her info if you want, she might be interested in having a client over the phone? I don’t know. But if I was you I’d check yelp and tripadvisor for recommendations for someone like that in LA. I am sure she is not the only one, and because the industry has shrunk, I think many of the travel agents that are still in business have really raised the bar for awesomeness.

    3. I used a travel agent for a trip to China this past summer because I was planning on a very short timeframe (like 2 months before my trip during a super busy time at work) and because I wasn’t totally confident I could arrange a decent trip. In retrospect, I wish I had just found the time to plan it myself. It was fine, but it was clear that it was designed for a different type of traveler (think elderly american tourist)–even with an itinerary I picked, I still felt rushed through things and the planned meals were kind of terrible. For Europe, I’d just buy a couple of Lonely Planet travel guides and consult trip advisor and go from there. (If you want super cheap in London, the London School of Economics rents out their dorms in the summer. You can get rooms with a private–albeit tiny-bathroom. The one we stayed in was an amazing location–right by Trafalgar Square–and all we needed in a hotel room was a place to sleep, so it was perfect).

        1. It is! I went to the LSE and summer dorm rental = awesome. Locations are mostly pretty great too.

    4. Airbnb has become my go-to when I need more than one bedroom. It’s almost always cheaper than a hotel, especially if one person doesn’t mind sleeping on a sofa bed, and having a kitchen can be a huge cost saver in expensive cities. It’s also nice to have a washer/dryer for longer trips. I’ve used them in Europe, Asia and the US and have had great experiences each time. I’ve never used them in London (I have friends there), but pre-airbnb, my family rented a flat in London in the Earls Court neighborhood and it worked out really well.

      1. OMG this apartment and the others on this site are killing me. So amazing!

    6. Of COURSE there are still travel agents! Not that I use them. But they definitely exist. Call one!

      I stayed at a hostel across the street from the British Library mumble years ago and it was perfectly fine. Had a private room and bath and all that good stuff. Don’t rule them out!

    8. Yes – I’ve had great experiences with American Express travel (and bonus, you can convert Amex points to “cash” to apply to your travel). For my honeymoon, it was really fantastic. The person planned everything. We also used them to book flights for a complicated 3-country trip. You can’t use them to book things using rewards points, so we booked our own hotels for that.

    9. For the trip I took in the fall, Cb recommended europeandestinations.com and it was great. You put in exactly what you were saying. Fly from X to Y city, stay # of nights, go to Z city, stay # of nights, go to A city, stay # of nights, fly back to X from A. It was really easy although we did have to pick hotels. They suggest, but you can change it. You can book trains on there, too, although we didn’t. It was really easy and we did it in June or July and the trip was in October.

    10. I’m with you: planning and anticipating the trip is fun! When I was in Granada about 15 years ago, I spent several days in the Alhambra. Highly recommend. I did not stay in the Parador inside the Alhambra (wish I had), but I walked around it, asked to see a room and spent some time in the public ladies room. I also had dinner there. It was gorgeous. Well maintained. The dinner was excellent and very elegant.

      If the rest of Spain’s paradors are anything like this one, I would stay in them in a heartbeat.

      Long way of saying, try these:

      https://www.paradoresofspain.com

      ETA: Wow! Just looked at the rates. They were much lower when I was there. Of course, the Euro didn’t exist then, yet, either.

    11. Congratulations to you and the boy ! For mid-priced hotel options in Paris, try Bretonnerie, Haut-Marais, Saintonge in the 3rd and Arvor St.-George in the 9th. A rental will definitely be cheaper if you want 2 rooms but you’ll need to do some homework if you only have 2 – 3 days in each city and want them to be glitch-free. I like the Slowtravel site for detailed rental reviews but Airbnb is likely to give you the most options at this point (many well-established rentals will already be tied up for summer by their return visitors).

      For connections, the train is likely to be a faster door-to-door trip between Paris and London (2.5 hours) and I wouldn’t rule it out even for Paris – Barcelona. There’s an overnight train with 1 change in Toulouse on my radar – you can board after dinner in Paris, save the cost of a room-night, be in Barca in time for lunch. Try the Capitaine website for buying your train tickets – there is a push underway to introduce some competition for Rail Europe which used to have a monopoly on ex-Europe sales with a lot of hidden fees plus a user-unfriendly website to boot.

      Finally, if you are travelling in May, you should know that there are a lot of holidays in France and Spain that month, and at least one bank holiday in the UK, when a lot of folks will be on the move for short holidays.

  2. (Reposting here for more responses…and thanks, Wildkitten–checking out the Commissary menu now!)

    Within a 30 minute walk to Logan Circle?

    My sister’s are visiting from out of town and we’re seeing a matinee near Logan Circle on Sunday. Best place for brunch? In the past I would have done Tabard Inn but I’ve been really disappointed the last couple of times I’ve gone. Just need fantastic food and good ambiance :)

      1. I second Eatadio. Birch and Barley is also quite good. b Too is very yummy if you want to try interesting variations on waffles. So. Good.

    2. We’ve enjoyed Eatonville for brunch – its just north of U St/14th St and not too far from Logan. Friendly and prompt service, a cool atmosphere and great food without being stuffy. Food has a southern twist. As I’m sure you already know, wherever you choose, make a reservation!

      1. I was really disappointed the last couple times I went to Eatonville.

        I’d check out menus at Tico and Kapnos. Yum!

    4. I live in the area, and while I have not been, there is always a line outside of Ted’s Bulletin on 14th street.

      1. It’s pretty good for the unadventurous . Basic, but tasty, brunch options. Amazing milkshakes.

        1. And terrible for vegetarians or anyone on a diet, in case either of those are a concern. But yes, delicious.

    5. Yay! Open Thread’s! Great dress, Kat, and also the 9 West sale is something I did NOT know about. Thanks for pointeing this out to the HIVE, tho I will not be abel I am at the Manageing Partner’s house and they are all drinkeing, so I came in here with Myrna where we are hanging with Margie and THE BABY. The BABY is so cute–I want a baby! I could be Grandma Leyeh, b/c she is still croweing about the $50K and no baby, and she keep’s askeing WHEN am I goeing to have a BABY! I told her that all men I’ve met are NOT suitabel. Even tho they want to have sex with me, I do NOT want to marry them. I also do NOT want to have sex with them either. FOOEY on them b/c that is ALL they want. I can do without the huffeing and puffeing. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    6. If you want cheap and no wait, go to Lauriol Plaza. We always go for brunch there after races.

      1. No no no. Please don’t do this. There are so many wonderful places to eat if you’re just visiting…Lauriol is like, fine, if you live here and are in a pinch, but DC has sooooo much better to offer (even on the cheap end – Busboys, for instance!).

        1. To each their own. I think Lauriol has a yummy brunch menu and great margaritas. Buysboys, to me, is way overrated.

          1. Fair enough. My experience at Lauriol is admittedly tainted by the hoards of drunken singles’ sports leagues playing drinking games that tend to populate its roof deck in the warmer months.

          2. I def prefer El Tamarindo just up the street (18th & Florida) for dinner (admit I haven’t had brunch at Lauriol, but El T’s brunch is great, too). Better vegetarian selection, IMO, and don’t care that much about Lauriol’s roof deck. Also like Busboys & Commissary, which it sounds like the OP is already checking out. Commissary always seems like a good value (for DC) & a good mix of traditional and more interesting food…and OMG the desserts.

    8. Meridian Pint has a good brunch. Probably about 20-30 minutes, walking, depending on how fast you’re going.

    9. My favorite DC brunch is Ardeo Bardeo, which is sort of near the Zoo and probably on the upper end of a 30-minute walk from Logan Circle. But it’s really, really good. Meridian Pint, El Centro DF, Bar Pilar, or Ulah Bistro on U St are all solid choices. And B*tches who brunch have a ton of additional good advice.

  3. I have a few dresses from Patagonia and some from Horny Toad, all of which I bought on sale from Am – azon or 6pm. They are my go-to weekend/nonworkday outfit in the summer, and even in the winter with leggings and boots. So comfy and easy. I highly recommend.

    Also: machine wash and tumble dry and they’ve been holding up beautifully after 4+ years.

    1. I’m considering this dress and wavering between a L and XL – are the size guide/measurements they provide accurate?

      1. I haven’t ordered a Patagonia one in a while, but from what I remember it was accurate to what they said online. I ordered the one that made sense based on their measurements. You could also go look for similar Patagonia dresses on Am-azon and check out the reviews if that makes you feel better. ;o)

      2. If you’re wavering, I would go bigger. I have the long-sleeved version of this dress and while I love it, it can be a bit clingy.

    2. I really like the looks of this dress for summer days. I’m also right on the border between those sizes and I think I’m going to size up, just because I can’t stand wearing anything tight when it’s hot out. Give me a little breathing room please!

      1. I have this in two colors, purchased for a two week summer trip to Italy. Super comfy and versatile (I’d occasionally pair with capri leggings/camis/cardigans when visiting churches, could throw it over a swimsuit easily, or strappy sandles for going out, etc). I ordered two sizes and ended up going with the smaller because the larger was a little bulky and less flattering.

  4. Has anyone sought alternative treatment for hypothyroid? I have been taking levothyroxine for 4 years and felt relatively ok – still had symptoms of fatigue and required more sleep than most but able to live life and exercise. After a recent illness, I fell out of my exercise routine, gained 10 pounds, and my TSH levels went back up so my doc upped my levothyroxine dosage. It’s been about 6 weeks at the increased dose and I do not feel much better – I am totally exhausted despite 9 hours of sleep, have low energy and want to nap all the time, and am craving sugar like crazy. Having repeat labs next week. Am currently reading Living Well with Hypothyroid by Mary Shomon and will likely seek help from an integrative medicine specialist (who is an MD) but am still wary of the conflicting and inconclusive research. I am hoping to stay on traditional meds (whether they switch brands or dosage) and am interested in complimentary therapies. Anyone had luck reducing symptoms with other approaches? What tests did your doctor perform? Would love some anecdata.

    1. I have hypothyroid too and I take levothyroxine every day for last four years. I have not tried any alternative medicine. But my mother constantly asks me to apply pressure on my fingertips (both hands and feet, by pressing them with my fingers) because she saw on TV (I am an Indian and she saw an Indian channel) and many people told in that program that it has worked for them. The idea is if you apply pressure on your finger tips, it stimulates your thyroid glands. She is very serious about it and she wants to take me to the person who came on TV when I visit India next time. I, being very lazy never tried it. But I think there is no harm in trying (without reducing your levothyroxine dosage of course) for a couple of months and see if it makes you feel better.

    2. I have hypothyroid and have been on name-brand synthroid since it was diagnosed about 4 years ago. My docs (3 of them, independently) have recommended synthroid over generic because in their experience, it works better for patients.

      It may take more than the proscribed time of 6 weeks for a new dosage change to make you FEEL better, even though your numbers may be returning to normal. It may be worth switching to brand name. If you still feel yuck, you can try Armour thyroid (dessicated pig thyroid, no joke), because it contains T3 and T4. T4 (I think?) is the faster-acting/shorter duration hormone, and can sometimes give you the little edge you need. I tried it and it was terrible. It threw me from hypo into hyperthyroid (in a BIG way) and it was scary and awful. I had jitters, nausea/no appetite, upset GI, heart palpitations/fast heart rate, anxiety, the works. I would prefer to be on the lower-end of functioning thyroid than the high–believe me.

      Mine was discovered when I asked my doc for a full panel, not just TSH. My TSH was normal, but sub-clinical. So, the second round of labs in the very beginning tested TSH, T3/T4 and Thyroid antibodies. My antibodies were high, so they ordered an ultrasound. I have nodules, and my condition is classified as thyroiditis–basically an autoimmune issue where the body attacks the thyroid. I don’t know how similar/different it is to Graves or Hashimotos. I just don’t know.

      I haven’t found anything that has helped other than the synthroid. I do know I do better with meds + exercise, but I have been so sick over the last year (thyroid roller coaster with armour & such) that I haven’t been able to exercise almost at all.

      1. I agree… Get your Dr to write a script specifying “no generic substitution .” Generics are great for many meds, but thyroid is not one…. You don’t want any variation from the prescribed dosage. Stick with the name brand and get the dosage and med as written. And get your blood work done & go back for a chat in 6 weeks if you still feel lousy.

      2. Not sure if you’re still reading this, but I’m also in camp no-generics when it comes to my thyroid. In my experience, levothyroxine did not work nearly as well as synthroid.

    3. It can take at least 6 weeks for the dosage to show any difference, and if you are still having symptoms I would guess your dr would change it again.

      IME synthroid is the only thing that works. I have friends who have tried “natural” remedies other than synthroid, and to a person they felt terrible right away, gained weight, and went right back on synthroid after a month or so.

    4. I’m sorry that you are having thyroid troubles! I’m sure it is still controversial, but there is research indicating that some hypothyroid patients do not convert T4 to T3 as well as they should, and there are patients who find that they benefit from taking both T4 and T3. “Natural” (i.e., porcine or bovine) thyroid medications that contain both T4 and T3 were very successful treatments for decades before synthetics were invented (many, many decades). On the other hand, reformulation caused digestibility issues for some patients who were taking Armour Thyroid (Forest Pharmaceuticals is… not the greatest pharmaceutical company). A lot of hypothyroid patients do not have very strong digestion while in a low thyroid state, so the inactive ingredients matter. I personally have had the most success using Canada’s NP Thyroid to shoot for a low to middle-range TSH (not “barely within range” — that’s not enough HRT for me, perhaps because my condition is autoimmune, I’m not sure). My doctor orders a fuller range of tests than just the TSH, but the dosing is clinical (this is the approach all MDs took when treating hypothyroidism before blood tests were invented, with great results). My endocrinologist, on the other hand, let me live in a hypothyroid fog for at least two years, which.. well, you know what that’s like! I feel comfortable with the approach that my current doctor has taken, since I understand that it was the medical standard until blood testing and synthetics were introduced. The new approach works for some patients, but may not have improved patient outcomes overall — taking Synthroid until my TSH is within range is not actually my goal as a patient; I’m concerned about symptom relief!

  5. Does anyone know a way to get deodorant stains out of suiting material? I have a sheath dress from the CK Everyday line at Macy’s, I’m pretty sure its polyester/rayon, and dry cleaning does not get the white marks out.

    2. Rub the stains with pantyhose. That gets the white stuff off. Don’t ask me how this works.

    3. Revising for safer words: Rub the stains with hose (I don’t know if tights work). That removes the white residue. I have no idea why this works.

    4. Miss Oops makes a sponge that you rub on the residue to make it disappear. Oh–well they used to. I don’t see it on their website anymore.

    5. Try two things:
      1) the foam that comes on dry cleaner’s hangers–the ones that are meant for delicates so they don’t slip off the hanger–will remove deodorant from suiting. Just lightly rub!
      2) rubbing the fabric on itself–ie, fold the affected spot onto itself–should help, too. Won’t actually make it worse, which it seems like it would.

  6. Any commenters who live in the St. Louis area? My daughter is a nursing student and just got a summer externship (normally leading to a job offer after graduation) at the prestigious Barnes Jewish Hospital. We’ve (sadly) never been to Missouri and are west-coasters. What’s it like living in St. Louis? Is it a good town for 20-something professionals? The crime rate is off-putting, perhaps because while San Fran or LA are known to have bad areas, one doesn’t expect the mid-west to be crime-ridden. CNN Money has it on the list of most dangerous cities but says it’s much improved and also that the statistics overstate the crime rate due to geographical features. So that’s my long-winded question – is the city safer than it appears?

    1. I haven’t lived there, but….do people who grew up on the coasts really think the midwest doesn’t have a crime problem?? It’s not all farmland….Chicago, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Milwaukee, St. Louis, Minneapolis, etc…..there are real cities in the midwest and the corresponding crime that you will find in any large city.

      1. And it doesn’t have to be city to have a crime – meth, and the crime associated with that, started out (and still is?) a rural community problem.

        And St. Louis (and the surrounding communities) will have bad areas and good area…just like all cities do.

      2. Yes, people on the coasts think the Midwest is nothing but farmland, at least outside of Chicago…. Signed, a Midwesterner now living in California.

      3. When I was in New York a few years back someone actually asked me if we had paved roads in Wisconsin. Not only do we have paved roads, but we have electricity and indoor plumbing too. The Midwest also has a very bad heroin problem as well.

        Now, to the question at hand, St. Louis is a very nice city, in some parts. But, there are bad parts as well.

    2. I can’t even with this question. “One doesn’t expect the mid-west to be crime-ridden.” WTF, lady. Do you follow the news? St. Louis is a city. Cities have crime. Ferguson, which you may have heard of, is in the St. Louis area and is currently a national symbol of a screwed up midwestern city.

      Also, why did you feel the need to tell us that your daughter got into a “prestigious” program?

      Ugh.

      1. amen. hello? detroit? chicago? trading off for murder capital? and i say this as a detroiter!!!!!!

      2. It’s her mom. Mom’s are supposed to brag about their kids. When did we as a society decide we should stop recognizing accomplishments. It is part of the whole “everybody gets a trophy” “you are all special” fluff that I think is leading kids to make a lot of poor choices. Also, as addressed below, most nurses go local unless your get a prestigious spot. It explains the reason for the move.

    3. I am trying to give you the benefit of the doubt and not be too mean.. but seriously, it’s a city, she’ll be fine. Would you be having the same worries if she was going to NYC or DC? or any other big city? or SF? She’ll be fine, please take a deep breath and chill.

    4. I spent about 8 months on and off in STL for an extended work project, and found St Louis just as safe as any other big city, and in a lot of ways “dangerous” parts of the city are farther removed and harder to find yourself in than in other big cities. Also, because its more of a driving city, so you aren’t really walking about like in NYC, SF, DC. From my experience, it was really uncommon to hear of people being mugged or having traditional city crime experiences, which several of my friends have had happen to them in new york, dc, and sf. Also, I would say, I was not enthused about STL when I got the assignment, I actually REALLY enjoyed it.

      I have some STL recommendations, if your daughter is interested wants to email me at platinomad@gmail.com

      1. Man, all these complaints about this persons questions. Why not just not respond? None of you said anything productive. I’m from the midwest originally and while I guess the OP was a little condescending it wasn’t that bad. I know this is oft stated here, but I have been a regular reader for 5 years and now this constant criticism of every single thing people say on here is crazy. It actually makes me wonder what goes on in my co-workers heads if this site is representative of professional women because the ridiculous attacks that go on on this site are out.of.control!

        1. I certainly rolled my eyes at the OP. I think because this community is generally more intelligent and articulate than say, yahoo commenters or people magazine commenters, it’s sometimes cathartic to express our opinions in nuanced ways. I don’t think the above comments are ridiculous attacks. They are pointed critiques. Sometimes people should be called out or clued in to the crazy things they say.

    5. I guess I’m confused, because in my world nursing students do their externships in the local hospitals where they want to work. Unless she’s in some niche specialty they only have there, does the prestige really matter all that much? Lots of people love living in St. Louis but I don’t see it as so fab you’d leave your home, friends, and family just to do nursing.

      1. Barnes is extremely prestigious and absolutely one of the best in the region. For some specialties, it would be one of the few places regionally to really get trained. Perhaps she applied to the top institutions for her specialty nationally, and this was the one she got into. Additionally, the opportunity to work at a place like Barnes opens a lot of doors for nurses, particularly if you are interested in moving up into nursing leadership. For an ambitious young nurse who wanted to move up the nursing ladder (Perhaps be a CNO or other higher level nursing positions), working someplace like Barnes is wonderful for their career.

        Im not the OP, just some perspective. There is a career track in nursing that expands beyond being a bedside nurse, and if you aspire to do that, working someplace like this helps a lot.

        1. Yes, this.

          There is also academic nurses just like academic doctors. Nursing can have all sorts of different career tracks just like for doctors.

          Especially with the push to control costs, specialty nursing is becoming an increasingly larger share of the medical community.

    6. My girlfriends love it there – they’ve gone to Washington University for undergrad & grad & 1 is a social worker and regularly goes, by herself, into The Bad Areas of St. Louis (yes, even EAST SAINT LOUIS).

      She’s fine.

      They love it, seriously! I even have GAY friends that live there – YES! DIVERSITY IN THE MIDWEST. (They’re even JEWISH but don’t tell.)

      1. Ha, I’m originally from the Midwest, and yes, there are Jews there, too! But the first time I walked into an actual Kosher restaurant in New Jersey, I felt like I had been transported to a different world.

        There are absolutely pockets of diversity (and awesome people!), but the Midwest has a reputation as being homogeneous for a reason.

      2. I agree with STL as someone who lived in St. Louis, specifically the Central West End.

        St. Louis is quite small geographically, so the crime rate for the city itself is higher than when measured as a metro region. Also, it is a good idea for all people, even those who can usually pay for safety measures, to learn self-defense skills and street smarts. Much of the widespread poverty is in North St. Louis, as it is a Rustbelt city.

        If your daughter has a more mainstream background and interests, she’ll have an easier time socially. The town has a low % of transplants, so it can be difficult to get to know people who have formed their social circles, aren’t looking for new friends, and don’t think to invite new arrivals to casual get-togethers.

        As someone who is from Los Angeles and a minority, St. Louis is too homogenous for me, but it’s easier for others who fit in with the local social groups. I had never seen so many towheaded babies in my life than when observing “bring your baby photo to work” day pictures.

    7. I went to law school in St. Louis and lived there until 2009. I was a single female who lived alone most of the time, and I never had any problems. She will likely want to look at living in Central West End if she is working at Barnes Jewish, and that is a good area from my experience. She should use the same caution she would in any larger city (not walking alone at night, buying pepper spray, etc.), and she should be fine!

    8. I went to law school at WashU in St. Louis, and my mother-in-law is a nurse at Barnes. I moved out of the state for work, but plan on returning eventually.

      The hospital is located in the Central West End area, which is a very cool area, populated by lots of professionals associated with the hospital. There are lots of apartments, bars, restaurants, and it’s close to Forest Park, home to the St. Louis Zoo, Art Museum, History Museum and Science Center. Most of my law school classmates lived in the CWE while we were in school, and rarely had any problems.

      The crime statistics are somewhat misleading, because they are typically looking at only St. Louis City, where the metro area is comprised of St. Louis County and City. That being said, parts of town can definitely be dangerous, and St. Louis is definitely in a time of turmoil right now.

      Your daughter will probably have good luck searching for sublets for housing, because so many grad students live in the area and leave for the summer. Coming from the coast, I think she’ll be pleasantly surprised at the cost of living. I’m happy to post an e-mail address if you have any more specific questions.

    9. When I was considering living there and from what my parents have said when they lived there, it is very much a commuter city. a lot of places are dead after 5 pm. and the bad areas are interspersed with the good areas. you will be walking around and walk down the wrong block and it has a completely different vibe. that isn’t to say it is necessarily unsafe, but there’s that.

      1. Lively after 5:
        -Washington Ave.
        -University City
        -South Grand
        -Maplewood
        -Cherokee
        etc.

    10. I’m from the Midwest and have never lived in St. Louis but have been there for various events and have several good friends who went to Wash U. It’s like any other big city, there are good parts and bad parts. No reason to be worried anymore than you would be if she were going to SF, DC, or NY.

    11. I live in the St. Louis area. The “St. Louis” crime rate is somewhat amplified because those stats only include the city of St. Louis. St. Louis County, which would lower the crime numbers down generally (Ferguson events notwithstanding) is made up of many small municipalities which report crime separately.

      Barnes Jewish is in the Central West End, which is a fantastic neighborhood – great for 20-somethings and relatively safe. Really good restaurant scene, close to Forest Park, museums, zoo, etc.

      I hope your daughter has a great summer in flyover country . . . .

    12. Throughout this entire thread, I keep picturing St. Louis as Defiance, the Syfy show, and thinking “Yeah, it’s pretty dangerous! It’s a frontier town filled with aliens!”

      1. god, i love that show and all other questionable quality science fiction/dystopian TV series including but not limited to: Defiance, Continuum, The 100, Extant, Terra Nova, Falling Skies, Helix, Warehouse 13……

        and, of course, the extremely HIGH quality Orphan Black and Black Mirrors

        1. Not to TJ, but I’m currently binging on The 100. I started and stopped Continuum and Terra Nova, but I’ll probably watch them all at some point. My friend and I are planning an Orphan Black marathon soon.

          1. Continuum was way better in the first and second seasons. The 3rd one didn’t really do it for me.

            Platinomad, I hope Battlestar is on that list. I liked Caprica too for the backstory.

      2. Yeah, and alien arms dealers and the Earth Republic trying to start a covert war!! Be careful! ;o)

        I also watch ALL of those and lurv them with all my soul, should we start a Corpor3tt3 SciFi TV Discussion Group??

    13. My, my. The negative commenters are out in force. I profess to be ignorant of St. Louis- thus the need for my post. I am not, however, an ignoramus. I’ve been to Cleveland, Detroit, Minneapolis, Chicago, LA, SF, NY, Philadelphia, Atlanta. I’ve also been to Moscow, Berlin, Paris, London… I have not, however, ever been to St. Louis and hoped that I would get helpful comments here. St. Louis is – by some statistics – a less-safe place than LA or NYC. So – thank you to the posters who gave helpful comments.

      My daughter has been to Boston, LA, NYC, DC and has stayed in co-ed rooms at hostels in these cities – so
      I’m not a “worried Mom” about my precious daughter going to the big, bad city. (And where did the Jewish people comments come from? How do you know I’m not Jewish?) Anyway there is a back-story as to why she’s considering going somewhere where we know no-one. Daughter wants a prestigious summer externship in NICU, which is not available in our town. (She also applied to Mayo, UMich, NYU and Houston Methodist – all of which are competitive to say the least. But we know people in Minn, Ann Arbor, NYC and Houston, so I didn’t have to ask questions on a board.)

      If she likes St. Louis and they like her, she’ll move there after graduation. It’s extremely hard for RNs to get their first position after licensing and securing an internship/externship like this one makes it more likely that she’ll be able to find a good job. She already works at the local hospital as an aide and expects to have an RN offer there if she doesn’t get one at St. Louis. She eventually wants a PhD, so a DON position, as the poster above mentioned, is not out of the question nor is a University professor position.

      Thanks again to all the helpful commenters.

      1. I’ve lived in St Louis for years – Washu for undergrad, law school, and now as an attorney.

        I would say the level of danger is the same as any other city. I have walked around the Central West End at night alone without any problems. Plus there are always a ton of medical students, nurses, bar hoppers, etc walking around.

        There are plenty of other great neighborhoods and suburbs too. I love it here. (I grew up in LA for comparion).

        Truly dangerous areas are obvious – abandoned buildings, trash everywhere, etc. I do know people who have dealt with small petty crime – teens breaking windows in a car parking lot and taking valuables for example.

      2. Does your daughter have any NICU experience? My good friend is a NICU OT. NICU staff experience some unique stressors and often feel like they can’t talk about work with anyone because no one wants to hear about dying or drug addicted babies. My friend’s NICU is in a city with a very bad drug problem so she sees a lot of super premies and withdrawals. My friend has been in the NICU for 7 years now so there are certainly people that are cut out for it. If your daughter doesn’t know anyone in NICU and wants to talk to my friend I can connect them via email. My email is projectmundaneart at gmail.

        Of course there are a lot of happy stories too! My friend loves running into her survivors out in the community!

      3. I would consider how you posted the question. The statement that you don’t expect the midwest to be crime-ridden is very ignorant. Especially as an educated women (which you sound like) and if you have been to Cleveland, Detroit, Minneapolis, and Chicago (all cities with crime).

        How would you feel if I asked if I would have problems getting around, going out to eat, ext in LA since I don’t speak spanish? That is a comparable questions.

    14. I’ve been in StL for six years to complete residency and fellowship at a Barnes-affiliated hospital. It’s a great city and she will get excellent training. For what it’s worth, I have had an incredible experience in their NICU and am a little sentimental to leave in a few months. yes, there are high-crime areas, but the area around the hospital itself (central west end) has a lot of young people–including a lot of medical staff–and is typically safe. If nothing else, she will have company walking into work, as there is essentially a parade of nurses and residents trickling in for the 0700 shift change.

      The Metro is also safe and reliable if she wants to live a little further out.

  7. Looking for a rec for a place to stay in san francisco in june, suggestions? I’m trying to make a budget vacation work.

    1. how budget-ey is your budget? $$’s would help.

      Do you really need to be in SF, or are you open to public transiting into the city? And have you looked at AirBnB? If i was trying to plan a cheap trip, I would find an AirBnB near BART in Oakland or Berkeley.

      For an amazing hotel that is around $150/night (last I checked) see the Doubletree at the Berkeley Marina. You have to take a shuttle to the BART, but it is beautiful, right on the water, most of their rooms have a water view. plus you have small kitchenettes and it’s out in a nice quiet area, surrounded by a wildlife preserve and hiking paths. That’s my parents’ favorite place to stay when they visit.

      But if you have more specifics about your preferences I’ll check back.

      1. I also enjoyed staying at the Doubletree at the Berkeley Marina. The hotel’s free shuttle is very convenient leaving the hotel for the BART station or destinations in Berkeley, but sometimes difficult to coordinate for the return trip. My room did not have a kitchenette or a water view, but the hotel bar has a nice view of the Marina. It is nice and quiet, and the rooms are up to the typical Doubletree standard. The hotel is off by itself down a long and pretty deserted road, and there aren’t any restaurants, shops, etc. within walking distance.

        1. Please don’t stay here. I just spent two days at this hotel a couple weeks ago, and it is in terrible disrepair, the rooms smelled, the staff was not well-trained …

      2. Ill check it out. $150/night would be great/workable.

        I haven’t done Air BnB, but I am a little worried about staying in someone else’s space.

        Thanks!

    2. Try Cow Hollow Motor Inn – decent, and under $200/night most days (you didn’t specify what “budget” means to you).

      1. Thanks! I will check it out. Was really hoping for less than $200 a night and closer to $125–150, but I may be dreaming.

        1. yeah if you want something at that price point in SF you have to look for deals or sales, that is easier If you are willing to be in the East Bay and BART in.

          I have stayed at airbnbs dozens of times in various cities and it’s always been awesome and safe. You have reviews of other travelers to use to make sure the hosts are real people and the place is as nice as it looks in pictures. I only even look at places that have a lot of recent reviews. plus I get to meet nice new people and get lots of recommendations for things to do. and I like staying in more residential neighborhoods rather than more commercial areas where hotels are.

          1. +1 to airbnb being fantastic. I’ve used it on 3 diff continents and had a great experience each time. At this point, a large percentage of the places on there are full time rentals, so you wouldn’t be staying in someone’s home anyway.

            For East Bay neighborhoods, I highly recommend the area around the Rockridge Bart. Lots of great shops and restaurants (favs include Rockridge Market Hall, Barneys Burgers, Zachary’s Pizza, Cactus Taqueria, and amazing morning buns at La Farine), one BART stop to SF and walking distance to Berkeley. I lived there one summer and absolutely loved it!

          2. Rockridge is more like 5 stops from SF ;o) but still pretty quick, and I agree it’s a great neighborhood! But any AirBNB near either Berkeley station, Rockridge or MacArthur is probably pretty great. There are good AirBNB deals in SF proper, too.

          3. That’s exactly why memory is unreliable! It always seemed like such a quick ride to my office at Embarcadero, which my mind equated to one stop. :D Clearly it’s time for another visit!

          4. Yes it is!! And if you come, we should grab a drink! ;o)

            Embarcadero is one stop into SF, that might be what you were remembering. But it is only about 20 minutes from Rockridge.. and this all explains why I love living in Oakland!

        2. I rent a room in my place in the Castro through airbnb! Don’t feel comfortable posting it on the site but email me at me AT fionatay DOT com and I’ll hook you up :D

    3. Sometimes you can book some of the Kimpton hotels from their website for around $150 a night, and I’ve loved the ones I have stayed at in SF. I also think airbnb is a good option for this, and if you are flexible about where in the city you would be willing to stay you can probably get a decent deal.

      1. yeah, public transit in SF is kind of confusing because there are multiple overlapping systems, but it can get you pretty much anywhere if you are patient and figure it out.

        1. Thanks! I will check the Kimpton hotels.

          I haven’t done Air BnB, but I am a little worried about staying in someone else’s space.

    6. I think the price has crept up a little bit, but I loved the Golden Gate Hotel. Great location, less than $200 per night, cute, and very nice staff/owners

  8. Just wanted to thank the posters who provided so many great Midtown restaurant suggestions on Monday’s thread. I ended up at Ippudo and it was great! Exactly what I was looking for.

    1. Ahhh so jealous. Missed the thread but Ippudo is one of my must-eats when I’m in NY! Their dumplings are to die for.

  9. If I change my Costco AmEx to another kind of AmEx will that make it appear on my credit report that I have a new card (and therefore screw with the average length of card data)?

    1. I asked Amex this question (though it was from their Starwood card), and they said it wouldn’t affect my credit because they can keep the same card number.

    2. Normally when you convert a card to a different one you’ll keep the credit history and it won’t affect your score.

    3. I have had my Costco Amex for close to 20 years, or maybe longer? I couldn’t believe it when I heard that Amex and Costco are parting ways.

    4. Also mourning this de-affiliation What’s next best similar card for Amex? We don’t travel a lot so I’m not sure a travel rewards card makes the most sense.

      1. If you just want to keep the card because of the history, the clear blue carrd has no annual fee and the other amex perks like free shoprunner membership, extended warranty, travel protection, cash back promotions, etc.

          1. I have it and like it. I used to have another of their cards but wanted to switch to something without an annual fee. Switching was very easy and it doesn’t show up as a canceled or new card on my credit history. As with other amex cards, some of the best perks you have to “enroll” in or “add” to your card on their website, but I’m generally very happy with it.

    2. I didn’t even know about the campaign. I don’t like sexism (duh), but I don’t think I’d avoid the brand entirely just because of that. Whoever approved that campaign really screwed up though.

    3. I actually found the campaign entertaining. And I do have shoes I wear for husband hunting. They’re black, high, strappy stilettos. My walk of shame anticipating shoes are black booties. Good for evening or day.

    4. I hadn’t seen that, but actually came here to say that I just bought a pair of Nine West shoes after years of avoiding the brand and I have to say that while the quality is certainly not the greatest, the pair I got turned out to be one of the most comfortable pumps I’ve ever owned. Dumb campaign or not, I think I’m going to buy the navy version of the pump Kat linked to. The pair I have are similar height and design and I can wear them all day quite comfortably (the Naturalizer pumps I ordered at the same time, on the other hand, are dowdier, squeak when I walk, and kill my feet by lunchtime).

      1. I’m so glad to read this post! I have been thinking about Nine West for awhile, but haven’t bought any of their shoes yet.

        I have the impression that Nine West’s shoes tend to be on the small side, and that you are supposed to size up. I wear an 11, and since I don’t see size 12s, I figured that Nine West shoes won’t fit me. Can anyone let me know if that small-shoe-size thing is true? (I don’t remember where I heard that — it was a few years back.)

        I have primarily been wearing Naturalizers, and they do squeak if I’m not very, very careful. I’ve gone through several pairs of the Lennox, and my current one is broken in, but is too tight on my right foot’s little toes. I don’t know if this is just a bad pair, or if the quality at Naturalizer has changed.

        1. I wear a 7 in most brands and the pumps I bought from both Naturalizer and Nine West are both 7s. I used to love naturalizer shoes but the last two pairs I got I have regretted almost immediately. One pair I pretty much don’t even wear and the other’s main purpose is to make some outfits look more conservative.

        2. I’ve always found Nine West to run really large, to the point where I’d need to go down a full (not half) size from my normal smallest size, and two and a half sizes from my largest normal size. That said, I’ve not bought any in several years (due in part to that sizing issue), but when I was buying them regularly, they just kept getting bigger–truly, I kept having to buy smaller sizes, even within Nine West.

        3. I’m probably on the small side for 11, but found I could wear both the 11 or the 10.5 (when it was an option ) in Nine West. I had a pair of the Rocha heels that I wore quite a bit (and may now need to be retired).

        4. I posted a reply earlier but it seems to have disappeared. I wear the same size in NW as most other shoes, and same as in Naturalizer. I think I’m giving up on Naturalizer because the last two pairs I got I’ve been disappointed with, both in terms of style and comfort, and quality too (even for the sale price). And both pairs squeak!

        5. I think they’re TTS, but tend to be a bit wider than many other shoes – which is why I love them. I have several different styles I wear to work regularly and they are among my most comfortable shoes (much more comfortable than Cole Haan or Ivanka Trump for me). Mine are holding up very nicely except the back of the heels get scraped when I step in cracks, but I get that with all my shoes no matter what brand.

          1. Which style are you referring to? I need some wider, comfortable shoes that don’t break the bank!

  11. [Would’ve posted on c-moms, but I couldn’t get online until now, and I think the site will be quiet over the weekend.]

    My hair is long and stringy and icky right now, and I am dying to get it cut. However, I am also 3.5 months postpartum and just stopped breastfeeding (well, pumping) this week. I hear that there may some major hair loss in my future due to hormonal shifts, either due to the passage of time postpartum or the cessation of breastmilk production. So I am wondering whether it makes sense for me to get a haircut now or whether I should wait another month (or two, or three, or more) to see what my hair turns into before committing to a specific cut.

    Thanks!

    1. Everyone’s different, but most likely your hair will end up similar its pre-pregnant state. Many women find their hair thickens during pregnancy, and subsequently experience hair loss 2-4 months postpartum. If you want a haircut, you should get a haircut.

    2. Haven’t had to deal with the post-partum hair loss – but I’d get it cut. Hair loss (thinning?) is going to be less noticable on shorter hair and a cut will have grown out some in a couple months.

      Maybe shoulder/collarbone length? Long enough to throw into a ponytail if needed. The lob/bob thing is supposed to be on trend. Avoid bangs.

    3. Get at least a trim now because it’ll make you feel so much better. It takes years(?) to get your hair back to normal, so not worth waiting. For me it was because I had more baby hairs growing in at once than usual. And my own hair loss postpartum did not correlate to breastfeeding, just passage of time post delivery. I think your at the prime time for it now.

    4. I agree that the hair loss tends to correlate with passage of time from delivery, and not just breastfeeding, and that four months postpartum is when that tends to occur. Although, in my experience, breastfeeding takes a toll on the hair, just making it lackluster and yuckish. (Been through it twice now). Go ahead and get your hair cut! Take care of yourself and just know that you will probably have a crown of wispy hairs in a few months.

    5. I am going actually bald (my friends would say that is melodramatic and that I am not, but I feel like it). I’m 6 months post partum, and the extreme hair loss has been happening for about two months straight. I am finally starting to get some regrowth. I cut about 6 inches off my hair about a month into the hair loss because the strands of hair that were coving every surface in my house, my body, my daughter, my office, etc., were so long. I’m still losing as much hair, but the pieces are a lot shorter, so it doesn’t seem quite so traumatic.

  12. Would love to hear any favorite tips on organizing your office! I recently moved into a position where much of our file keeping is done virtually but I’m still expected to have hard copies of “important” things for meetings/briefing the boss. The office mentally is more along the lines of “so long as you upload to the right directory, and can put your hands on what you need when we need it, do whatever you want”. I feel I need to come up with some good practices for organizing my things – anyone have any favorite tips for naming electronic documents, organizing hard copy files, etc? Bonus points for systems that take up minimal space in a cube.

    1. I start all of my filenames with a data strong so that they sort by date – so today’s essay reading was ‘2015 03 13 the book thief notes’

      1. Exactly. My files today start with 15-03-13. That way, they are always chron’d in the electronic file. I also put a footer with the filename and the path in very small font on every document so that when someone brings a hard copy of something and wants to redraft or reprint or whatever, we know where it comes from.

  13. Hey ladies,
    Doing a google search on this website doesn’t seem to work for me, hardly any comment threads show up. Anyone else have this problem?
    We are planning for a honeymoon in Hawaii after our wedding in July. Any resources/suggestions/tips on how to go about this? Good blogs/websites to find out more? I am looking for a mix of relaxing on the beach, good restaurants/craft cocktails (I am a big foodie) and perhaps some hiking/scenic drives (in this order). We will have about 5-7 days at most and will fly out from Chicago. This is actually the first vacation I will be taking with my fiance, we have been long distance and only dating for over a year, so my focus is definitely on spending quality time together.

    Thanks a lot in advance. I have always enjoyed reading travel threads here, now I am finally planning something myself, yay !

    1. My husband and I recently took a trip to Maui to celebrate a milestone and we loved it! If you end up on Maui, I’d recommend driving to the top of the volcano to watch the sunrise (note it’s really cold up there) and then there are a bunch of hiking trails you can enjoy after the sun comes up. We also loved the Road to Hana. I’d recommend taking a tour so you can enjoy all of the sights along the way. It is absolutely beautiful. There’s a lot of great food on the island as well. We stayed in the Wailea area (at both the Marriott and Fairmont) and would recommend that area – it doesn’t have a ton of nightlife, but there are nice beaches, good restaurants, and beautiful sunsets! Enjoy!

      1. I agree 100% that Maui is the place to go. That said, I’m going to disagree on sunrise. It’s a decently long drive up, and you need to get up at an absurdly early hour, and pack lots of clothing/blankets. The sunrise we saw was totally clear and pretty, but we were not blown away by it and were so tired and cold. We then took a long nap in our rental car until mid-morning and did some trails on the volcano. Those were great and we saw some incredible birds and beautiful views so I’d still go – just not at the crack of dawn. Check out some photos of what the typical sunrise looks like and see if it looks worth it to you before you decide you have to do it.

        Don’t forget to book a nice luau and maybe get reservations at Mama’s Fish House (pricy, but an institution – and on such a beautiful beach). There’s some great snorkeling in Maui – we saw tons of turtles! – if you’re into that.

    2. Try Kauai. I haven’t been to that island yet but from what friends have said, it should fit all of your requirements.

      1. Kauai is lovely, but the food is touristy and horrible – we went to most of the nicest restaurants and they were disappointing. However, we loved everything else there – the hikes were amazing.

    3. Excited for this thread! We are going to Hawaii in July for our honeymoon too. Just starting to plan but thinking of going to the big island and either Maui or Kauai.

      My parents go somewhat frequently and recommended staying near the Whaler’s Village on Maui. We are specifically looking at staying at the Westin Maui Resort & Spa if we go to Maui.

      I’d love to hear whether people recommend renting a car. My parents said we should but I’d rather not if we don’t have to.

        1. Ditto. You need to rent a car for all islands unless you fly to Honolulu and stay on Waikiki beach, which, while nice, is not my idea of a Hawaiian vacation.

          Maui is wonderful.

          You must all eat a the hailemaile general store, and drive the back way once you get to Hana — it was our favorite part of the trip.

      2. I’m late to this sorry but I would say don’t rent a car for the entire time. Get the speedi-shuttle from the airport and if you want to rent a car for a day you can get enterprise to bring it to the hotel. There is tons to do walking distance of Whaler’s village – you can go snorkling with Trilogy right on the beach. Cabs to Lahaina are about 10 bucks, or there’s a shuttle and bus service.

        If you want to drive and explore all day, every day, I would be wrong of course. If you want to hang out, enjoy a fab beach and just do a few things, I think my approach might works best.

        Maui is paradise. The people are amazing. If you have the $$$ I might suggest the Sheraton Maui just up the beach. It’s older and therefore roomier and lower – with great snorkeling at Black Rock right in front of the hotel. A 5 minute walk from Whaler’s Village.

    4. I second the recs for Maui or Kauai. I personally LOVE the Big Island but it has less of a restaurant scene than Maui and Kaui and since that’s high on your list of priorities I don’t recommend going there. I normally start by figuring out what part of the island I want to stay on (guidebooks like Hawaii Revealed series and threads like this one are helpful for that) and then from there I use TripAdvisor to narrow down hotels. In Hawaii, hotels can be very expensive at peak times and often condo rentals are much more affordable. You can use websites like VRBO to find those and the Maui Revealed/Kauai Revealed books also include condo listings. Yelp is always my go-to for food recommendations. There have been lots of threads here about Maui/Kauai restaurant recs. Mama’s Fish House is insanely expensive but a can’t-miss on Maui.
      In Kauai, the North Shore has great weather in summer and is incredibly beautiful but is very far from the west side of the island (Waimea Canyon, etc) because the road does not go 360 degrees around the island. I’ve heard incredible things about the St. Regis Princeville and have always wanted to stay there. If your budget allows I’d investigate that on Kauai.

    6. Another +1 for Maui. Stayed at the Ritz Carlton which was perfect for us. Less expensive than Wailea, less family-isn than Kaanapali. Beautiful sprawling grounds and super friendly staff. Used a great guidebook called maui revealed or something like that. Also loved Mamas – went on the way to the airport on the way home since it’s closer to that than anything else.

  14. Does anyone have a recommendation for a food delivery service in Houston. I’d like to get a gift card for a friend recovering from surgery and would appreciate any first-hand recommendations. Is something like Seamless the best route? Or are there any particular local services that anyone could recommend? Thanks!

    1. a lot is going to depend on where she lives. Im in Houston and I’ve never heard of Seamless. I also think that because Houston is spread out, a lot is really going to depend on where she lives.

      If she’s in the delivery area, Rice Epicurean would work.

      If you don’t mind posting her neighborhood, I am sure that I could come up with some options.

    2. Favor (delivery app). Check the delivery zone to make sure she is in it. Not sure if they have gift cards. Very convenient service.

  15. Thanks to people who recommended Chicago restaurants earlier in the week! I got in too late to have any energy to go somewhere for dinner, but I had a delicious brunch at Yolk.

  16. I’m curious: What kinds of shoes / hosiery (if any) do you all wear in the summertime?

    I’m relatively new to corporate life, and I haven’t figured out shoes in the summer. In a corporate office, I’m confident that flip-flops aren’t acceptable. Are there any sorts of sandals that would be okay? If I should stick more with closed-toe or peep-toe shoes, then I’m curious whether anyone wears pantyhose. I have never been one to wear shoes (other than sandals) with bare feet, because I worry about my feet getting my shoes all sweaty, or about getting blisters with the skin-on-shoe rubbing.

    1. Last summer I was new to the office and mostly wore ballet flats or brogues, with hose (or tights when it was chilly – I was in Scotland)

    2. I’m in an office of 95% men who are in suits at all times, all seasons. I wear conservative sheath dresses daily with bare legs all spring and summer, and into the fall. Toss on a cardigan for at-the-desk days or a matching jacket. I will rock the peep toe on occasion (Fridays?) but stick to closed toe pumps, and good looking flats for in-the-office-all-day days

    4. I wear really thin sheer hose in the summer, about 10 denier, until it gets really hot (like, above 85) because I find that it prevents my feet from getting too sweaty or getting blisters, I think I look more polished, and I can get away with not shaving my legs for an extra day or two. I also think I have a higher tolerance for hose than a lot of people on this site.

      As for shoes, I’ll commute in flats and change into closed toe heels/wedges in the office. My basic office shoes don’t change based on the season. This is a KYO type of thing, but I wouldn’t wear open toe or most peep toe shoes in my office.

      1. Agree on the thin hose. I wear M&S 7 denier and they’re incredibly comfortable. Much more so than bare legs for me.

    5. I’m in Atlanta and I never wear hose. Here, it’s generally tights (if necessary) or bare legs. This depends almost solely on the weather, not the season. Wearing real leather prevents sweaty feet for me.

      I mostly wear pumps year round, as my (business casual, usually fairly liberal) office only allows the tiniest amount of toe to show. Outside of this rule, I would probably still stick to pumps and peeptoe/open toed pumps, but the ones that show several toes instead of the barest hint of the big toe. Slingbacks and d’orsay shoes also feel more summery, but they should fit perfectly so that they don’t make that flip flop “thwack” noise when you walk. I tend to wear my lighter shoes (beige, tan, etc) more in the summer because they feel more summery and I don’t like the way they look with dark tights.

    6. I live in CA and wear shoes (pumps and ballet flats, mostly) with bare feet year-round. Hose are unheard of here. On very cold, rainy days (which have been practically non-existent the last few years), I wear black tights with my dresses/skirts.

    7. I kind of think that in a corporate office, if you want to wear summer shoes, you should show either some heel (slingbacks, but toes fully covered and otherwise business-y not lunch-y) or some toe (just the tiniest peeptoe, not more than one nail showing, and heels covered and otherwise business-y). When many toes or both toes and heels are showing, that seems off to me.

    8. I am an attorney for a large public company, and our dress code is business casual. (I tend to dress a touch more formal than most people.) I would do bare legs with a skirt or dress (sheer hose if have a big meeting or something), but never peep toes and definitely never sandals, though I’ve seen others on my floor, not in legal, wear them. I wear close toed pumps exclusively.

    9. If you are going without hose but peeptoes are not acceptable, I would wear wedges or slingbacks. Maybe I am old, but I think regular pumps look odd without hose. If you are wearing pumps, nude-for-you is more summery than black.

      With pants, ballet flats are good for summer. Just make sure your pants are hemmed accordingly.

  17. I love my epilator, but I’m prone to ingrown hairs on my legs. I’ve tried using loofah gloves as an exfoliator and also using a homemade version of Tendskin, but it doesn’t work to my satisfaction. Any tips?

    1. I would try Le Edge, which is a little device that seems like a thick razor, but doesn’t take off hair. It is the best exfoliator I’ve ever tried, and it’s around $10 on amazon. It’s one of my absolute favorite products. It takes a bit of practice to figure out how to use it best. (I find that soaking in a hot bath to open my pores, then air drying for about a minute gets me the best exfoliation. Your skin needs to be the slightest bit damp for it to really work.)

    2. I wax. Years ago, my dermatologist told me not to let the aesthetician put any lotion or oil on my legs after waxing them. Apparently this is some sort of breach of salon etiquette because people always gasp when I ask, but it has drastically reduced ingrown hairs (btw, add to that list this morning of things everyone has to do before stepping foot in the office: hair removal). I also use nylon exfoliating gloves once a week — long, sweeping motions from the ankle upward.

      1. I never heard that oil could cause ingrown hairs, and I have been waxing my whole adult life! Where do you find these nylon gloves?

        1. I use bath gloves every day instead of a bath puff. My skin is much smoother than normal but they don’t irritate my sensitive skin. They have them at pharmacies/Target/ulta in the section with the bath puffs/sponges, but my favorite place to get them is at tjmaxx/marshalls. Google bath gloves for a variety of sources online (amazon, bed/bath/beyond, etc.)

        2. I use these from Rite Aid. Over the years, I’ve used unbranded ones from all different pharmacies. They’re all the same. Usually, whenever I bring home something new that goes near my skin (towels, sheets, clothes), I wash it in the machine before the first use. You can’t do this with these because the material would melt, so I put them in a sink of hot, sudsy water and rub them around for a few minutes before rinsing clear and letting them air dry. Then they feel safe to use.

          https://shop.riteaid.com/rite-aid-renewal-bath-shower-gloves-cleansing-1-pair-0300677

          Like Zelda, I used to use them every day (body and face) in the shower. After 40-something, that was too much for my skin. Now once/week (or legs and bikini line only after waxing).

  18. I bought a pair of shoes at Macy’s that didn’t work, and I have about a $100 store credit. What should I buy? I am open to clothes (though I don’t know their brands well), kitchen stuff, jewelry…I looked at their site but nothing is jumping out. What gems am I overlooking? Anyone buy something they love recently?

    1. INC jeans are my favorite. That’s a Macy’s brand. I also get better deals on Free People there than at Free People itself. Jewelry. Maybe hosiery.

    2. You can get anything at Macy’s! Do you have a B and M store near you? To try things on. They carry every brand name you could think of and their own brands are good. If you don’t need anything like that, how about cosmetics or intimate apparel? I could go through $100 easily.

  19. I just received my first ever order from Hobbs, and apart from the hefty delivery charge to Canada, and the fact that I need to return 1 of my 4 items due to color being not quite right on me (and then apply to get the duty back, grrr), I could not be happier. The quality is high, the fit is perfect on me.
    I might be in big trouble :)

    1. The bloomingdales near me (Tyson’s) carries Hobbs & I love the clothes. Well tailored & a nice cross between classic & London stylish threads. Best part: either the fit or the fact I’m not running into people wearing the same suit or dress.

      1. Thanks for this. I will check out Bloomingdales the next time I am in the US.

  20. Posting for just a bit of support since I don’t really know what to expect. I have PCOS and don’t ovulate and I started infertility treatment this cycle. It’s been a nightmare with insurance, and tons of calls during work (and ugh, we have an open floorplan with relatively few places to take private calls so I’ve had to get pretty creative). For now we’re doing “medicated timed intercourse with monitoring.” I took Clomid for the first time this month – no side effects, phew! – and need to go in for “morning monitoring” starting tomorrow, and I won’t know if I require monitoring the next day until I’m there tomorrow, and so forth. It sounds sort of like jury duty. I feel pretty fortunate to be starting on a Saturday because I’m not looking forward to having to go to monitoring before work.

    My treatment is with the NYU Fertility Center, if anyone has experience there.

    Fingers crossed that the clomid at its current dose is working! Any tips from those of you who’ve been through this? Partly just getting this all out here because literally no one in my life knows this is going on besides my husband, so thanks for that!

    1. I’m halfway through a full IVF cycle and have dealt with many of the same issues and am also in NY. My tips for calls is to minimize them – ask if they can email you with the days instructions or with a request to call them if something needs to be discussed (that way you can at least plan when to sneak off). My nurse has been more than happy to do that. I take calls from offices of colleagues who are not in the office on a given day or I take a walk to a drug store and walk to a far corner.

      With monitoring, early mornings suck, so try to get to bed a little early. There’s usually just lots of waiting (and for me, a long cab ride to my clinic). I try to make that time as nice as possible. What has worked best is finding interesting podcasts and novels, and saving them for the commuting waiting time.

      I’d also add that it helps me to talk to someone other than my husband. I started seeing a therapist, and also read two friends in who I knew would understand how I need to handle this (in my case, lots of black humor).

      There’s no other way than taking this a day at a time. Every time I think I know the next step, it changes on me (sometimes for worse, other times for much better).

      I really hope this goes well for you! Good luck!

      1. Thanks so much for this! I took public transportation there and back this morning (ugh, why do these places all need to be in such inconvenient locations?!) and it was quite a cast of characters out and about that early on a Saturday. At some point if I’m more worn down, I think I’ll need to join you in springing for cabs.

        Follicles didn’t look all that big on my ultrasound this morning, but will know more about next steps when the blood results are in and I get a call from a nurse this afternoon.

        Lots of luck with your IVF!

    2. Are you temping? I found that when I was on Clomid (otherwise I was anovulatory) I got a BIG temp rise about day 17-18 and it looked totally different from my other charts.

      1. Yes, I am temping. So far nothing noteworthy this cycle, but not at day 17 yet. Thanks for giving me something to look out for!

    3. Do you talk with the same people each time you are on these calls? This wouldn’t work for insurance but for the docs office potentially. I went through a spell years ago where I had to have practically daily calls with my GI’s office about my poop. I also didn’t have an office and couldn’t really sneak away. After I told my doc the situation he did a great job of converting almost every question into a yes or no, multiple choice or something I could answer in a non embarrassing way (like a number). I bet docs get a lot more useful information if they ask that way anyway rather than just saying “how are you doing today?” If he asked something that would be embarrassing to answer I’d say “as we discussed earlier, I can’t really answer that. Can you ask that a different way?” to remind him.

      1. That’s a great tip and I’ll try to use it whenever possible! Hopefully future cycles won’t be as many calls, but there will definitely still be a lot – the “letting you know I got my period” call, getting someone else to send the prescriptions for all the meds to the various pharmacies (normal and specialty), making sure insurance has received authorization for the meds, etc. etc.

        1. I have no idea how accurate this is, but my husband, who grew up around a lot of Orthodox Jews but in a “secular but we still go to services on holidays” family, told me that there is a way a wife signals to her husband that her period has begun: by moving a vase of flowers that is usually kept in spot X to spot Y. (He has to know because for the duration, they can’t touch or hand things directly to each other.)

          For all I know, this was an example and each couple develops its own code. But now we joke about “the flowers should be moved today or tomorrow, not sure exactly yet.” Maybe you can work out a code with the person you have to call?

    4. Just chiming in to say that you are definitely not alone and that it can be tough. I’ve been dealing with fertility stuff for about a year now (not actively TTC all that time). You should try to cut yourself some slack in other areas of your life–it’s really emotionally exhausting in a way that I didn’t always understand or detect. I also kept everything a secret from friends for a while and am not much more open about it and have found that to be very helpful. You’d be surprised to know how many women are going through the same thing. At 36, about 1/3 of my friends (of those TTC) are doing fertility treatments right now. Maybe even more. It reduced my stress enormously to tell my boss what was going on, but that’s obviously a situation-by-situation kind of thing. She has been enormously supportive but that obviously varies.

      As for morning appointments, I would try to go to bed early, treat yourself to some conveniences to make up for the lost time (grocery delivery, cleaning service, cabs, etc) if you can afford it. If not, little things to help relax you. I actually brought work with me so that I felt less stressed about the lost work time, but if you aren’t feeling stressed in that way, bring a fun magazine or book that you’re looking forward to reading. Try to look at that time as time that you’re enjoying whatever activity you have planned and not as purely waiting time. That will make it feel like less of a drain on your day.

      Lastly, good luck! I hope you and your husband are successful–and soon!

      1. Thanks! And yes, I know it’s surprisingly common. I wish I could just tell at work, but I really can’t without potentially damaging my career. It’s really in my interest to keep people in the dark until as late in the game (e.g., 4 months pregnant or as long as I can hide it) as possible. It’s wonderful you were able to loop in your boss though. Fortunately I can still get to work on time on monitoring days if I arrive for monitoring right at 7am. I may loop in a couple friends at some point for venting purposes – good idea.

        Thanks again and best of luck to you too, Batgirl!

    5. If you are looking for a great therapist in NYC with pregnancy related practice focus,try Dr Nicole Regent on the upper Eastside. FYI she doesn’t take insurance but I have been able to get most of my payments reimbursed

      1. Thanks, can’t imagine adding another appointment to my life right now, but will file this away for sure! Her office is right near a salon I go to. :-)

  21. Hi Ladies-

    I’m hoping to get some advice about a job offer.

    I will be graduating in May from an SEC School and have received some job offers in Gas & Oil. I had an interview yesterday at the headquarters of a top 10 bank with the SVP and VP and head of HR. I received a job offer this morning but have not actually spoken to who would be my manager, visited the site where I would be working or met anyone in my team in Houston. I’m really nervous to take the job without having been onsite or met any of team members, especially in a male dominated industry where I will be the only female on my team that is not an administrative assistant.

    Any advice on how to handle this situation?

    Thank you so much for any advice! I really appreciate any words of wisdom!

    1. Is asking to visit on site an option? Askam anger dot Com had a similar question recently and I think the advice was to ask for additional information so you can evaluate whether the job is what you want.

  22. I’m looking for a cute, stylish but I could still wear it to work, jacket for the 40s and 50s temperatures we’re having now – i.e. something to tide me between winter coat and trench coat weather. I’m finding it surprisingly hard. Any suggestions?

  23. Now that the weather is getting a little warmer and stores have their spring clothes out, I’m wondering if anyone can recommend a spring coat/jacket for a young female attorney?

    I’m not a big fan of trench coats since I feel like I should wear them when it’s raining outside, and I have a good raincoat for those days. I’ve looked at parkas but I feel like they’re also made for rain (material wise) and can be shapeless if there is no belt or drawcord to tighten the waist, which isn’t good for my body shape. I also don’t like the spring peacoat look or military looks. I prefer below the waist length jackets because I have a long torso and something with a hood. Sorry if I’m being specific, I’ve been looking for a while now and can’t find anything!

    1. I use my trench coat those days. Would you still feel like it was a rain coat if you got it in a different color or slightly different cut? I hate rain and so I hate the clothes I wear in rain, so having trench coat that is not my rain coat is helpful to me (same with rain boot, ugh!).

      1. Right?? I broke my New Years resolution of no fast fashion to buy a bunch of pieces there last week, but I think they’ll stay in rotation until they fall apart, and they didn’t seem to be as poor of quality as they sometimes can be. There were a lot of great classics, and very stylish current cuts and fabrics.

  25. I think I would benefit from cultivating gratitude and practicing forgiveness. Does anyone have suggestions of tools that they have found helpful to do those things? (I’m thinking less “have a gratitude journal” more “have this specific gratitude journal/book/app/practice”).

    2. Forgive me for not remembering the details, but there was something in that “Happiness Project” book that I choked down about how research shows the gratitude tracking works better if you do it every three days or every week, rather than every day.

  26. Ladies – is the email group of ladies with ulcerative colitis and crohn’s still around? I am having increasing trouble managing life with mine and would love to discuss with some of you who go through the same or similar.

  27. I was fired a week ago (over an argument re the length of my lunch break). I was now asked to come back… I don”t have any pending offers and given my age (50’s), being divorced with a problematic financial situation (some savings, rent, two daughters attending college) and the local market, I tend to go back at least for now. What in your opinion are the most important things to negotiate? A raise? bonuses? longer vacation? It’s a small firm (8 associates) and we did not sign a contract when I started a little over a year ago (something he is willing to do now)after I was let go from another firm (where I was filling in for an attorney on maternity leave). I tried to get a PH.D and thought classes for several years but things did not work out. The boss seems to value my “contribution to the firms” as he put it. Any advice? As you may notice I am in a confused state of mind…

    1. It doesn’t sound like you’re in a position to negotiate and should be lucky to have the job back.

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