Weekend Open Thread
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Something on your mind? Chat about it here.
Do I need more lip tint stains? No, no I do not. Am I getting these? Yes, yes I am. (I blame TikTok.)
These wine-inspired lip tints are currently in my cart at Amazon. I love how cute the little packaging is (they look like wine bottles!), and I'll probably wear at least 3 of the 6 colors.
(I find that with these kind of stains/tints you can blot immediately after applying for a much lighter color, or add another layer (or several) to get a much deeper color. But if you want a lighter color I'd say you only have 5-10 seconds to blot!)
All 6 of the colors are under $12.
Psst: not relevant to this post at all but I just updated this widget on power dresses with twist/fold details, so… here it is if you're on the hunt!
Sales of note for 2/14/25 (Happy Valentine's Day!):
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- M.M.LaFleur – Save up to 25% on select suiting, this weekend only
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase — and extra 60% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + 15% off (readers love their suiting as well as their silky shirts like this one)
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 300+ styles $25 and up
- J.Crew – 40% of your purchase – prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site and storewide + extra 50% off clearance
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Flash sale ending soon – markdowns starting from $15, extra 70% off all other markdowns (final sale)
Hi–I have a free day in Philly next week, and then am at a wedding in Buck’s County with a few free blocks here and there.
If anyone has any hidden gem recs/Philly faves, I would love to hear them.
I’ve been to the Barnes and some of the other typical touristy things in Philly.
It’s been about 10 years, but when we had an unexpected day in Philly we went to this amazing mosaic art site on South Street. https://www.phillymagicgardens.org/ There are shops, cafes and I think other galleries in the area. https://southstreet.com/
Mutter Museum!!!
Both of those!
I really like Bud and Marilyn’s for cocktails and fried chicken, and Kanella for brunch (be sure to get the grilled halloumi).
Walk around the Passyunk square neighborhood
…singing Philadelphia Freedom!
Bok Bar if you’re doing other stuff between South St and Passyunk Sq!! Rooftop bar with amazing views, just get there early because it can get packed.
Magic Gardens, Penn Museum (archeology and anthropology). If your free day is Friday: Elfreth’s Alley.
In Bucks County, the Moravian Pottery and Tile Works Museum is fun to visit.
Rent bikes and pedal around the Schuylkill River Trail. Look up the Parks on Tap locations of the day – they’re outdoor beer gardens with food trucks also. Alternatively hang out at the Spruce St Harbor Park. There’s also a pop up outdoor thing going on in the Oval in front of the Art Museum though I haven’t checked it out myself.
The Rodin museum is a small gem if you want somewhere quick. The gardens are open to the public if you want to check out a few sculptures in a pretty setting.
Just out of curiosity: who is the oldest person that you work with? Who is the youngest person?
I’m 51 and feel like I mostly work with people my own age!
I have several colleagues in their mid-to late 60s, not sure their exact ages. Some are supervisors and some are SME (like me). We also have paralegals who just graduated college a couple of months ago, so around 22. And everyone in between. Government agency, lots of lawyers and support staff.
Oldest: early 60s. My big 4 firm has a mandatory retirement age for partners, and non-partners typically retire at the same age.
Youngest: 21 year old new grads.
Average age is probably mid-to-late 20s due to the pyramid up-or-out structure that means most people leave before they make senior manager in their early 30s.
no one hired in as an experienced hire at Manager or Senior Manager in late 30s/early 40s, like me at a Big 4 competitor?
I work in IT in higher ed. I’m 38 and most people are in their 30s and 40s. I think the oldest in the entire dept is 70 and the youngest is ~25 but I don’t work closely with those people. My direct team is all around my age.
Oldest person is late 50’s. Youngest person is 27. Most of my office is around late 30’s-early 40’s. Government lawyers. Boss is early 40’s.
I’m 29, my oldest colleague is 54 and my youngest is 25.
Oldest: retirement and post-retirement eligibility age.
Youngest: interns and the fresh out of college babies.
Government legal office. Oldest employees are early and mid 60s. We have one paralegal who is 22 or 23. Youngest attorneys are currently 26; is normally 25 in the fall when a few new grads start. I feel like about half of people are in their 30s or early 40s.
At my first law firm, I was for some reason given an office next to a founding partner who was 82 at the time (I was 25). He came into the office every day, from about 10-4, and he had an assistant who, I kid you not, used a typewriter instead of a computer. He was super friendly and liked to come in and give me random life advice. I don’t think he really practiced law anymore, but he had some legacy clients so I guess they kept an office for him. He once told me that the secret to his happy marriage of 60 years was leaving the house every day. I kind of missed chatting with him when I left, but did not miss the clickety-clack of his assistant’s typewriter!
We have these partners at my firm ❤️ One has since passed away, but the other is still there and must be in his 80s by now. I so enjoy him and his wisdom and kindness. I call them “partners emeriti” – they practice some, but they’re also there because they’ve been coming in for 50+ years and the firm is a big part of their lives. (And this partner emeritus marks up all docs on paper and makes his admin scan them in and email them to you, so you’re trying to decipher his chicken scratch. More than once I’ve had to call her to ask what it says 😂) We’re a small firm (under 100 attorneys) and it really is like a family because of the business these partners built…and because it’s like having your granddad at work 😉
Oldest: 78
Youngest: About 25
25 and 75
I am the youngest (29). The oldest are in their mid 60s.
I’ve had 3 jobs in my career. I’ve always been the youngest.
We run the gamut from the 78 (partner who has been an attorney for over 50 years, who I think is healthier than 90% of the people in the office and who definitely lives to work) to fresh out of high school (new person in office services who graduated from high school in June).
Curious – is the 78 year old partner still amazingly sharp?
He really, really is. Knows everything worth knowing in his area of expertise and stays on top of developments. I would not hesitate to hire him for myself if I had that kind of money.
Also,in really remarkably good health.
This is surprising – I had a hearing this spring where opposing counsel was 82, and he was not still on top the law. The judge had written a decision about the supreme court case that he was relying on, and it was evident that he had not read it. After argument on a pretrial motion, the judge told us about a recent appeal decision that is relevant to the substantive issue and he had not heard of it. (I had it in my court bag).
My 73 year old mom and 76 year old MIL are both professors who are still actively doing research, and in my mom’s case her most significant research accomplishments have all come in the last decade or so. I know that there are exceptions, but generally I think mental decline accelerates after people retire.
but also people in part retire because of mental and sometimes physical decline, don’t you think?
Sure, sometimes. But a lot of people just retire when they reach normal retirement age and have enough money.
I work at a nonprofit arts organization. I’m the second oldest in my department at 46, but about to be the oldest as my supervisor (65ish?) is retiring and a slightly younger coworker is likely to replace her. The oldest in our org is 75ish. She has been the boss for 50 years, basically her entire career, which must be nice. Youngest is fresh out of college. We have a lot of young staff as we don’t pay very well at the entry level, and we’re small enough that there isn’t a lot of room to advance unless you get lucky and can become a department head. The department heads then tend to stay around for a loooong time.
Oldest maybe mid 40s
Youngest 24
Consumer healthcare company:
Oldest would be a few colleagues in their 60s (working in supply or finance)
Youngest would be a few entry-level fresh-graduates who are 23-24 (marketing, supply).
The rest is equally split in two age groups: 28-39yo and 40-55yo (sales, marketing, regulatory, medical, supply roles).
There was a WSJ article recently about consulting firms pushing back start dates for new grad hires by 6 months or even a year. Giving off major 2008 vibes… and making my inner alarm bells go off. I graduated in 2010 so didn’t see the worst of it but certainly remember what it was like for my 08-09 friends. Those of you in Big Law, ibanking, consulting, etc. today – what are you seeing out there?
Tech job market has been brutal for about 6 months to a year.
+1
There are Big Law firms doing this, esp tech sector.
Biglaw firms, especially tech-focused firms (WSGR, Cooley, Gunderson) and also firms that overhired for corporate firms, pushed back start dates a while ago for next year’s class.
Gunderson actually pushed last year’s first year class to January (they typically start in Fall), and then laid about a 1/3 of them off 10-12 weeks in, in mid-March, tanking their careers. It was really not a classy move. Those kids put their lives on hold and signed leases and then were screwed.
Latham 1991 is calling.
Who or what is a gunderson
It’s a very large and very prestigious law firm.
I…was a biglaw partner until 3 years ago and have never heard of this firm. Are they even AmLaw 100?
I think it’s not AmLaw 100 but it’s definitely a major law firm. Maybe a bigger deal on the West Coast. I believe they’re headquartered in Silicon Valley, which is where I practiced.
It’s right there in the comment AND the question that started this conversation, c’mon. If it’s not for you, just move along.
Is it big law if I’ve never heard of it. More like fake law
You’re clearly not in tech.
Gunderson Dettmer. Law firm.
Jeebus, that’s awful.
Just to clarify, WSGR has not done this.
Gunderson Dettmer is the number one venture/emerging companies law firm in the world. It is in the AmLaw100.
If you work in biglaw not on a coast, or not in tech, you may not have heard of it, but…it’s a tech boutique that has over 500 attorneys, so…not a fly-by-night operation.
IB. Still hiring, but slower pace. Competitors have delayed hires or even cancelled some hires. We broadcast widely that we have not and I think that’s looked favorably upon. We have no intention of reneging offers (although I’m an ’07 grad and know you can never say never). There are still transactions to be had, albeit at lower valuations which translates to lower revenues.
A friend of mine just graduated from a top 10 MBA program. Last summer he and several classmates interned with and received offers from FAANG. Most had their offers revoked over the year. My friend found another job that he doesn’t really like (but it pays the bills!) but most of his other classmates are unemployed still.
Several of my close friends are at FAANG and were laid off with the last year, but all found new jobs quickly.
What’s everyone’s favorite board game right now? Hunting for some new things to play while visiting the inlaws.
What type of board games do you like? I have a ton of favorites, but it really depends on what you like
OP here – my family used to play a lot of Settlers, Monopoly, bridge — too long and complicated games! My husband’s family used to play Pass the Pigs and gin rummy.
Between those two levels of difficulty, my parents like
– Azul
– Codenames (works with a variable size group, like if you have kids around who might play for a round/then get bored/etc)
– Wingspan (bonus if inlaws into bird watching)
– Puerto Rico
Check out Ecologies. Very fun and love how it’s literally a deck of cards (easy portability!) with beautiful illustrations. Though would suggest watching YouTube videos for instructions as the included booklet reads like a field guide—probably intentional hah
Farkle is our latest favorite!
I’m not sure if it counts as a board game, but I recently learned to play Cribbage, and really like it.
Azul is a lot of fun, easy to learn but enough strategy to keep it interesting.
Anomia is a fast paced word / card game that’s super fun.
If you like poker, Tripoley is fun too
Pandemic, The Ravine, Blokus, Sequence
Our copy of Pandemic sits on the shelf collecting dust. Seems still too soon… though it used to be one of our favorites before the (real life) pandemic.
Connect 4 is my favorite drinking game. Try it.
Cooperative: Pandemic, Harry Potter Legacy, Forbidden Desert
Non-cooperative: Splendour, Machi Koro, Istanbul
Have you played ticket to ride? It’s fun and accessible.
My kids and I love Forbidden Island, which is a cooperative game that’s legitimately exciting.
All the Gamewright games (company that makes Forbidden Island) are great for kids and adults together.
+1 for Ticket to Ride! I’m 43 and my late-60s parents and I play it every time I visit.
Partners!
if there are kids below reading age I highly recommend Labyrinth. no words but a surprising amount of strategy. 4 players
Those of you who journal regularly — what do you write about? do you use prompts? I haven’t tried it since HS and I remember then having a really hard time writing down anything other than really banal descriptions of my days. Curious to try it again as a supplement to therapy.
I write about how I am feeling, if anything is bothering me, what I am grateful for, how I want to work through XYZ, or just a line saying I am content today and life is good. Some days I don’t write at all.
We don’t have to overachieve at everything!
For 25+years I have used the morning pages method (9the artist’s way) using a cheapo black & white composition book. 3 pages longhand 1st am daily…lots of meandering, some general grousing, occasionally peppered with glimpses of ideas that have been game changers. I put a square around the word IDEA when I get them and later transcribe the ideas into a spreadsheet/whatever for future use.
Hopes, dreams, deepest darkest secrets
Don’t overthink it– just write whatever comes to mind. I don’t use prompts, but I tend to write about how I’m feeling, what’s stressing me at the moment, what I’m looking forward to, what has been going well lately, all sorts of dumb and mundane thoughts I wouldn’t share elsewhere. Also it’s a place to vent my negative feelings without dumping them on my loved ones.
I just opened my notebook up to a random entry, here’s what I wrote:
“It’s pouring out now and E is at his tennis lesson and I am just feeling shi-tty and lonely and bad about myself. Maybe I’m not a good writer. I’m not actually sure I’ve gotten any better at it.
You know, you can’t go around telling people you need praise, but something you need praise.
The pool is nearly overflowing we’ve gotten so much godda-mn rain this summer”
And with all that said, it might just not be for you, and that’s fine too. Honestly for me it’s almost a compulsion.
If you’re in therapy journal about that stuff! My journal is a lot of self reflection, who am I, this pisses me off, here’s the 50-item list of everything I’m stressed out about, etc.
Honestly, there are so many stressors / problems in my life, no prompts are needed. And perhaps I am also at the age where you reflect more on where you have been, and where you are going.
I don’t wear makeup or drink wine but these are adorable.
Aren’t they? I feel like they would be awesome stocking stuffers or party favors.
They are cute…
I’m not sure I would take a chance on it with the price point that low, though.
reposting because no responses before:
Does anyone have an online fax service she recommends? I use myfax – dot – com and do not like the user interface. Is eFax -dot – com better?
We use it to communicate with health care providers, so yes, it has to be fax.
TIA
My firm uses efax and it seems fine. Our mailroom receives all the faxes and then emails them to recipients, so I don’t have much to say about the user interface. To send faxes, you just do it as if you were sending an email in Outlook. Very easy.
I don’t understand how the app fax method is any safer than encrypted email. It is such an annoyance at this point.
I used to like e-fax when it was free, then I missed some email and they wanted to charge me. But i have a very very low need for faxes in the year of our lord 2023.
Who knows, who faxes these days? I communicate with my doctors through their apps.
what’s the next big meal everyone is looking forward to?
my son’s bday party is tomorrow and we’ve got a triple chocolate torte cake coming – not my usual jam but i’m looking forward to it!!
I’m doing an appetizer dinner tomorrow with homemade soft pretzels and beer cheese, and then probably spinach artichoke dip, and my kids want nachos.
Lobster eggs Benedict at brunch on Sunday
Not a big meal but jazzed about picking up some nice ripe peaches later today…
I’m 11 weeks pregnant and my newest craving is lobster rolls, so I convinced my husband to take me to a place that serves lobster rolls tonight (we live in the Midwest so fingers crossed it still satisfies the craving).
I spend summers in Maine and my favorite lobster roll place (Slapfish) has Midwest locations. Lobster travels very well relative to fish. Hope it hits the spot!
Gosh do I miss the tiny, dirt cheap, delicious lobster shack on the water that I ate at weekly when I spent summers in Blue Hill, Maine. Lobster and good french fries….. I mean, what more do you need for life?
Yes! I know everyone BBQs hot dogs & hamburgers on Memorial Day, but I always go get a lobster roll because it’s the food of summer for me.
Trying to sneak in one more crab feast here in Maryland this summer…
Yassss! Today should be a beautiful day too (depending on your exact location)!
Not a big or fancy meal at all, but i am taking my youngest + a few friends camping. I adore camping and I adore this group of kids, so hot dogs on sticks, and smores, FTW
I order a small version of our triple chocolate wedding cake every year from the same baker for our anniversary and I’m so excited! It’s probably the only dessert my husband likes to eat, so I have to fight him for it too. One more month!
Daniel in NYC next Friday for an early 10 year anniversary dinner!
Oh how lovely. That was one of my favorite meals in NYC.
Stopped at a roadside stand on the way home and got local watermelon, plums, and muscadines. I’m having a fruit platter for supper and probably again for lunch tomorrow.
Pizza made by a local bakery where we are on vacation. Today is our last day and we order this pizza every year!
That’s a nice tradition.
Well I was supposed to be having brunch at a restaurant at the beach on Sunday with some friends, but since I live in Southern California, I suspect that might not be happening!
Sending best wishes your way, and hope you can stay safe from the freak hurricane coming your way. Fill the bathtub or any basins, in case the electricity and/or water go out, so you can flush the toilet in the meanwhile. Crackers, cheese, fruit, fully-charged mobile phones, fresh batteries in the flashlights, bottled water. Good luck!
Early Anniversary dinner at the nicest place near where we vacation.
Update: I asked for opinions recently on two pairs of silver party sandals, and I ultimately went with the Suzanne Rae pair. They arrived today and they’re honestly perfect. I love square toes, which I know were not everyone’s fave. Thank you to all who weighed in!
When I went to the lobby to pick them up, I noticed something really odd. Someone in my apartment building is ordering a lot of clothes to the same address, but is using different names. I feel like this has to be a scam, but I’m not sure what it might be. Any ideas? Wild theories totally welcome.
The winning shoes, for the curious: https://suzannerae.com/collections/70s-strappy-sandals/products/70s-strappy-slingback-silver
Those are adorable!!
I mean, I have friends that ship packages to my apartment because I have a staffed desk that receives packages and they have had issues with packages being stolen from their mail room. So, it could just be that and not anything nefarious.
So here’s the thing: it’s the same first name with a rotation of 4 completely different last names. And it’s often multiple packages from the same shop, but to different names. Feels scammy?
Who cares though?
I’m curious.
Roommates?
How many names? They just have roommates or friends staying with them?
Either roommates or friends shipping stuff to a friend’s apartment that has a front desk
+1
If the receiving address has a doorman or secure package room it could make sense that friends ship things there. Also maybe bridesmaid dresses?
I use code names sometimes so my mom or partner knows not to open b/c it’s a present
Wow! Those are so gorgeous! Kind of an art deco vibe. The heel looks fashionable but still comfortable. I bet you get a ton of wear out of them.
I love your shoes!
Yessss! I really liked that choice, good job! Enjoy!
I’ve always seen Strong Lifts recommended here – it feels really bare as far as workouts but also heavy to start (I mostly have dumbbells up to 55)… am I missing something? (What else do you recommend for home workouts if not Strong Lifts?) TIA!
I love Caroline Girvan’s Iron Program, all on YouTube
I use StrongLifts because I already own a squat rack, and I have three little kids so I need something that doesn’t take a lot of time. If you aren’t pressed for time and don’t own a squat rack, there are probably better programs out there.
AITA work edition
I had a client reach out to me about something that is firmly outside my scope of expertise. I reached out to an internal colleague who works in that area to ask if I should redirect the client to her or someone else on her team. My colleague responded that she and her team will not provide input without a formal request, even when I reiterated that I didn’t need input, just a name. So I tell client to contact my colleague’s superior as he works in that particular area and I’m sorry I can’t be of more help.
Well now my colleague is reaching out to me for context and advice about this client and is mad that I won’t provide input without a formal request. AITA?
For context formal requests have no impact on salary/hours/bonuses etc. It’s just a record keeping exercise to track things.
Is a formal request filling out a form / JIRA ticket / something like that? If so, YTA, it’s not a big deal to fill it out and helps a lot.
If its much more complicated and truly doesn’t make sense for a small thing, NTA.
The thing is everyone assumes that their request is a “small thing that won’t take a minute” and it piles up.
Formal requests are not just a ticket, if I were to put in a formal request the software would route the request through: me – my admin – formal request admin – colleague’s admin – colleague. Then my colleague’s response would be routed through all the same people in the reverse order. Because formal requests go through so many people when they are manually routed, it often takes a few days. I wasn’t waiting several days for a name
Ha! I’ve never heard of this kind of formal request but what’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander !
Your colleague is the a s s h o l e.
Lol no, definitely NTA.
I mean, you are kind of being an A, but it’s also definitely satisfying/just desserts for them being the original A. A better person than I am would probably encourage you to take the high road.
I’m with your colleague, I’d want to know a bit about our organisation’s dealing with them instead of going in blind.
I have one parent who is currently dying with advanced cancer and a teen who is suffering (truly suffering vs conditions she has) from anxiety, depression, intrusive thoughts, severe ADHD, etc. and also being a teenager (not sure who you are in the world, moodiness, hormones, etc.). I feel like I spent most of the past year at one doctor or another, driving, waiting in the waiting room, waiting for the other shoe to drop, etc. [I started running, which I hate, and is nicely therapeutic. Thank you, Des and Kara.] I work FT (or: I’d love to work PT, but work is such that because it is slower, my absences were largely fine and what work there is got done; maybe I’m 60% FTE but so are most others and I’m fine with that; only consequence will be that comp will go down in2024). It is just A LOT some days (today).
That is a lot. I’m sorry.
Hugs to you, this is truly a LOT.
You are such an amazing daughter, and mother. Thank you so much for everything you are doing for your family. Your Mom and daughter are so grateful, even though they forget to tell you, as they are both in such hard places. They couldn’t do it without you.
I am so sorry this is so terribly hard. Most people have no idea…..
Keep running. You must have a release. But if you truly hate it…. just try something else physical that helps you focus on something else…. on nothing. It is a type of mindfulness stress relief. It can be yoga, tai chi, walking in a park, gardening, playing an instrument, meditation…..
You are doing great at work. Continue to float. That’s fine.
You will make it.
OP here — thanks for the kind words. Oddly, I do not hate running now. It is meditative. I look forward to it even.
Isn’t it amazing how that happens?
I started removing the dandelions one by one from my parents’ lawn, since they (thoughtfully) didn’t want to use weed killers. I hated it initially, but doing only a few minutes once a week, was oddly peaceful, and relaxing. I actually started removing them from the neighbors lawns too.
I discovered I absolutely love gardening. Who knew? I had no idea that the beautiful end-result gardens/vegetables etc… is just bonus. It’s the process.
I wish people could discover these things, about mindfulness…. about life…. at earlier ages. It is so helpful for your health, dealing with stress, and for having a happy and peaceful life.
I have a black thumb and have never grown anything that looked nice, but I enjoy weeding. It’s brainless and feels productive.
That is a super lot. Big hugs, Anon.
Good for you for hanging in there FT and taking a run break for sanity when there is so much heaviness around you. Neither is an easy feat. Watching a parent struggle with a terminal illness is so tough. Hopefully teen gets some relief soon–at least hormones will have an easing point. I try to think 3 months, 3 years whenever I feel like this. Because it won’t always be this way even though it probably feels like it right now.
I hope you get a few moments to yourself this weekend to enjoy something just for you. You are juggling a lot and need to be kind with yourself as well.
I have someone on my team in this situation. I hope you have a supportive manager – I wish there was more we could do to support my employee, who is so wonderful and dealing with so much.
I’ve been there too, with a parent dying from cancer and a teenager in crisis. It was the hardest time in my life. I took up running too and it helped. I also took up drinking and had to force myself to stop because I could feel it getting out of control. So take care of yourself. I know it feels impossible, but do whatever you need to do–outsource cleaning, cooking, go to therapy, etc. Make a safety plan for your child and help them navigate this difficult time, but also let them learn what they need to do to help themself. My teenage daughter is now 23 years old and has learned to manage her mental health and what to do when she needs help. Now that we are on the other side of crisis mode I can look back and see how I was just trying to get through each day. It is A LOT. Hugs.
I’m so sorry. Not that it’s any consolation, but if you wanted confirmation from a stranger that it is a lot and it sucks, you definitely have it.
Are cocoon cardigans (the ones with a curved edge on the bottom) still stylish? I have a couple, both in good condition, 100% cotton, and now oversized due to weight loss. Im mostly wearing utility/ casual soft jackets to work these days because they have pockets and my cardigans don’t!
I’m someone who is slow to let go of clothing and lately I’m overthinking every purchase—for example, I’m loathe to let go over some too large clothing I’m attached to, but I’m ready for things that fit better. I’ve made some mistakes in repurchasing after weight loss, only to donate, so these once simpler decisions have going in circles now. Thanks for your help!
If your clothes don’t fit, then it’s time to pass them on. I promise you will feel better in pieces that actually fit.
Thank you for the vote of confidence! I’m struggling with finding things I like in stores….it’s getting better and I’m finding more, but it’s been a rough few years of searching, which it shouldn’t be! My husband also seems so happy when he sees me in new things that fit that he is helping me donate my older things….but I’m a bit slow to let go lol.
They’re too big, they don’t have pockets and you like pockets, and you’re doubting whether they’re stylish enough to wear to work.
Donate.
I have gotten really fit this past year. I’m keeping my absolute favorite pieces in my old larger size, but donated the rest. I would keep one oversized cardigan because that sounds nice for lounging in the house.
Thank you all for the wise words here!
As an update, I let both of these items go, and something clicked that hasn’t clicked for the last few years. I packed up the rest of the too large clothing items, (and stored only a few larger sizes). Now that I have much less, I can start to rebuy in my new size, and I feel much better— though I know it will take time to find certain items.
I didn’t realize how much mental energy keeping these old items involved. Before I lost weight, I was the same size for 15 years, and had a cohesive wardrobe, that I believe flattered me. It’s been a learning curve figuring out what suits me now.
So all my fellow Southern California ‘rettes – are you doing anything to prepare for the storm? I am 12 miles inland and cannot figure out how much of this is fear-mongering and what is real.
I am housesitting very close to the beach in Santa Monica and I too have no idea what to make of this!
Gas up your car in case you need to evacuate, get your important papers in one place ready to take with you, pack a go bag, tape your windows w duct tape so they don’t shatter in your living room, get canned tuna and crackers and a can opener (preferred meal for on the road or if you stay and lose power), back up cell chargers, batteries, flashlights. Some of this can wait as you watch and see where it’s headed. -New Orleanian who’s been through a few of these
PS – just looked it up and saw that it’s likely to hit as a tropical storm, which isn’t typically destructive on its own. The issue you’d likely face is flooding depending on how things hold up. If you’re in an area prone to it, I’d move your car to a safe spot. I’d also prepare for the power to be out for a while.
All this plus fill up any bathtub or basins with water so that you can flush the toilets if the power/water go out, stock up on bottled water, cheese and fruit. Matches if you have a gas stove, so you can light it for a kettle of water for tea. Good luck!
I keep reading to sign up for emergency alerts from your county. I did that. But I have received zero texts or emails. This is a very well-resourced county that spends lots of money making sure its residents are “free” to believe everyone is white and Christian and should be unvaccinated and unmasked. I guess my local officials also believe I should be “free” to decide on my own what to do about a hurricane?
I am charging all phone bank batteries, making sure the emergency radio I keep in the trunk works, filling car tanks, we brought the outdoor furniture cushions into the garage (hunh, should we also bring in the umbrella?), we always keep lots of food/water in the house, we already have earthquake go bags, and we keep flood barriers (sand bag substitutes) in the garage because there is one area out front where water from a common area doesn’t drain fully and sometimes comes close to our entrance.
I still have to figure out what the correct evacuation route is, and I’m not sure how to do that.
I have not done anything about the windows.
Bring in the umbrella. I’ve lost too many to storms and if they fly, they can break things.
On it. Thanks for confirming my gut. Including the concrete base? I wouldn’t even know how to move that part.
I’ve always left that out there and it’s been fine, just the umbrella part needs to go in.
Done. Thanks.
Thinking of you guys this weekend! Most important: take photos of all your documents and put them in the cloud (I had to do this in 2013 and I try and remove to do it annually).
Second: assume the power will go out. Do the cup of ice and Penny thing (google it) in the freezer.
Third: assess where your car is and what will happen if you get a lot of water. Same with basement if you have one. We moved everything off the floor just in case the basement got water.
Are you in a flood zone? What’s the evacuation route?
I now live inland and in a house on a hill so wind is really the only worry and if it’s bad at my house people are far worse off somewhere else. But I used to live .3 miles from the ocean at the bottom of a hill in a town where the sea wall was crumbling.
Response from gulf coast….
For wind, I do general clean-up and put outside items that could become projectiles at ground level or in house/garage (umbrellas, hanging plants, tables, etc.).
Flooding risk is very location specific. Never drive through standing water of any depth. At my house flooding is more likely to affect my ability to leave neighborhood than to enter my house. I plan to stay put until storm passes (I am well inland). I make sure my most waterproof shoes/boots are handy in case I have to go outside.
I plan on loss of power and loss of water.
For power, pre-charge any batteries for charging devices and have your flashlights handy. I often pack an ice chest with food that’s already in the fridge/freezer to supplement non-perishables. What to pack depends on whether you’ll be able to cook without power (grill, gas stove?). I make a plan for coffee (for me that means pre-grinding beans so I can do pour-over).
Flooding can affect water system (loss of service and/or boil water notices). I fill bathtub with water in case needed for light clean-up and flushing toilets. I also make sure to have plenty of water for drinking and cooking (I use pitchers and big pots because I try to avoid bottled water).
Basically, I plan to indoor camp for ~3 days.
Does anyone have any shopping recommendations in Mexico City? I will be visiting for my first time next week and was wondering what the ‘rettes have to say regarding clothing shopping (or anything else that comes to mind). Are there cute places to explore in Condesa/Roma? I’ve gotten great advice from this board before, so thought I’d try again! =)
I am looking for vacation advice for next year. For context, we (family of four) are currently on holiday and I am bored out of my mind which is giving me plenty of time to think of next year’s plan.
We have 7 year-old twins. For the past two years, we have rented a cottage by a lake for two weeks in summer and have flown to visit family at Christmas (both our families live outside the country). My husband loves the cottage trips; I am – at best- indifferent. It’s fine when it’s sunny, but when it rains (and it’s been pretty rainy) I feel like I am struggling to entertain the twins or sticking them in front of a screen (in addition to doing all the cooking and washing I do at home but in a different setting).
Here’s where I need ‘rette advice: can you recommend holiday destinations that are outdoorsy, warm, and which are less passive than 2 weeks in a cottage? What does your family enjoy? A coworker was talking about an eco-resort in Belize with different excursions every day and I almost swooned.
All inclusive resorts are where it’s at. As a rule I do not cook or clean on vacation, so all inclusive resorts are great in that respect, but they also often have kids clubs/day centres, so you can be kid-free some days and do activities with the kids in other days.
7 is a great age for travel! Some of our favorite family destinations in N. America include Acadia/Bar Harbor, northern California (Bay Area + coast), Chicago + Lake Michigan, Hawaii, Destin/30A in Florida and San Diego + Orange County. In Europe our favorite family trips so far have been Florence + Tuscany, Mallorca, and Seville + Algarve Coast. In the Caribbean and central America, we normally just do all-inclusive beach resorts, which are not super active trips, but are VERY easy and relaxing, and super fun for kids.
I think the key to feeling like you’re really on vacation is staying in a hotel or resort, not a house rental. If I’m cooking and cleaning, I don’t feel like I’m on vacation. And resorts that have kids clubs will make things even easier, because you can get a break each day to go to the spa or a nice meal with DH. But there’s nothing wrong with giving kids some screen time on rainy days!
It always astonishes me how many people do not realize that a “vacation” where Mom still has to meal plan, cook, clean and watch the kids is not a vacation. It is living in a different place.
When my kid was around that age we really enjoyed Belize, Costa Rica, and Moorea for beach/nature vacations. Generally we did not go to places with facilities for children because part of the point was to spend time with the kid. That said, we went to the Aulani in Hawaii (not my usual cup of tea but my sister wanted to try it with her family) and my daughter loved it and it was magic and completely changed my view of resorts/hotels with some dedicated children’s activities!
We have kids that age, travel a decent amount, and only do trips where there are activities we can “do” every day. And we map those out ahead of time so we have all the tix and ressies in advance if needed and are all on the same page. (To be fair, I am very type A). For our family, I wouldn’t consider just hanging on a beach every day enough to “do”, especially if weather can be a factor. If one of us suggests a vacation idea the first thing the other asks is but what would we do there, and if the other struggles to answer it gets nixed.
What does that mean? Urban areas where there are cool zoos, botanical gardens, museums fun for everyone (ANHM in NYC, CA Academy of Science in SF etc…), Broadway or Las Vegas shows… Or if it is a beach, have a day we rent a boat, plan out kid friendly hikes (7 should be old enough to hopefully do this? We bribe with candy along the way), if you are in a ski area do any of the ski resorts have summer activities? etc etc. The occasional kids club. There are also some great “family camps”. Check out UC Santa Barbara family camp or I think there are some in Vermont (and probably all over).
This of course all adds up, but maybe if it was just one vs two weeks that helps but would still be more fun?
Good luck! I agree that just sitting around thinking of things for kids to do without real structure is not fun.
This sounds like it would be better with smaller kids. With bigger kids, trips like this are more fun if you bring other friends/family so kids can all occupy themselves and grown ups can trade off cooking/clean up. But agree that this is a great age to travel different places.
There are a lot of family travel discussions on the moms page if you’re looking for more inspiration.
It’s not a vacation if I have to cook and clean. I’d rather only go away for one week than spend two doing all the work. I’d go to Costa Rica. New things to do all the time.
When my kid was that age we went on a road trip up the California coast and it was great. Stops at all the beaches, Hearst Castle, Winchester Mystery House, San Francisco (Fisherman’s Wharf is great with all the touristy things like Ripley’s Believe it or Not Museum, also the kid loved Alcatraz), and we stayed in motels with pools which was great for burning off all the energy from the car. And fast food and diners instead of cooking FTW!!
We also did San Diego/Legoland at around that age and it was another winner.
Oh, and this is super silly but once we did a week in a motel in Buena Park, of all places, and did Knott’s Berry Farm plus the Movieland Wax Museum and Medieval Times and whatever other touristy things are along that block. Plus the aforementioned motel with a pool — kid was in Seventh Heaven!!
We went to the one in Florida, but Legoland was a huge hit with my kid too, and as the adult it’s way more manageable and cheaper than Disney.
What’s your skin care routine? I’m 39 and am currently using:
-A mild cleanser morning and night.
-Neutrogena hyrdrogel moisturizer with SPF in the morning.
-Neutrogena hyrdrogel eye cream.
-Glyolic acid toner at night
-Neutrogena retinol w/vitamin c at night.
-Neutrogena retinol eye cream at night.
-A Solawave wand
Are peptides/niacinamide important additions? My skin is still prone to breakouts/on the oilier side which has been great for wrinkle prevention but means my skin can’t typically handle any heavier creams.
CeraVe cleansing bar – AM and PM
Sunday Riley VitC CEO – AM
Supergoop unseen sunscreen – AM
Sunday Riley Good Genes all in one lactic acid – PM
Sunday Riley Luna Oil – PM
Dermalogica daily microexfoliant – AM or PM depending on when I shower
Botox for my 11s if that counts as skin care
Oops. I’m 43 and my skin looks great, but of course so much of that is genetics.
Botox, bioderma micellar water and neutrogena foaming face wash. No potions of any kind. 49, barely a line bc of Botox and very clear skin. Good genetics and also I’ve found the more stuff you use, the more opportunities there are to irritate your skin.
I use tretinoin few times per week at night for acne control and anti-aging, can only recommend. I am 39 and am practically wrinkle-free and have no visible sun damage.
A.M.:
*Bioderma Sensibio micellar water, which I then wash of and leave the skin damp
*Benzoyl-peroxide wash for face, chest and back to prevent acne. I leave it on for 2mins and then wash off in shower
*Benton AirFit SPF50 cream (super lightweight and still moisturizing) applied generously over face, neck and chest
*Eucerin Aquaphor in tube, which I put on my lips
P.M.:
*Shiseido Oil cleanser, wash off, follow with Bioderma Micellar water (winter regime) OR Bioderma Micellar water and follow with Cerave Foam wash (summer regime)
*Face cream (Cerave night cream or Eucerin Urea or Pharmaceris Eczema cream)
*Tretinoin approx 3x week, depending on how sensitive my skin is
*Eucerin Aquaphor on lips
The BPO is a new acne-prevention step for me, as I tend to develop acne when I exercise/sweat in summer.
You don’t need niacinamid, peptides, vit C etc. If you enjoy them in your regime and you see/feel any benefit, then I would keep them in your regime. I have worked in cosmetics/pharma companies and am a skin enthusiast. I have tried all the serums and creams and toners :) Some did nothing for me, some left my skin uncomfortable, some did something but not enough to justify buying them again. I do, however, use Paula’s Choice Peptide serum and their 10% AHA serum from time to time. The peptide serum somehow makes my skin tone better. The AHA serum has a great mix of acids and is not irritating my skin at all. I buy it 2x year when the weather changes or when I need extra boost. I would then use it in my non-tretinoin nights.
I read somewhere once that skincare routines boil down to:
AM – clean and protect
PM – clean and treat
What that means has changed as my skin has aged.
I love skincare. Still get carded regularly at 34. A lot of is good genes, as others have noted, but I feel like I should do what I can to protect what I’ve been given.
AM:
-cleanse with just water
-Paula’s Choice BHA
-Paula’s Choice Vitamin C
-ROC retinol eye cream
-Hydrating toner, either Pixi Rose Tonic or Cosrx Snail Mucin Power Essence
-Cosrx snail cream
-Sunscreen, usually an Asian one but lately I’ve been enjoying Trader Joe’s sunscreen (apparently a Supergoop dupe)
PM:
-DHC oil cleanser
-Cerave salicyclic acid cleanser
-Pixi Glow Tonic, though planning to switch to Biologique Recherche P50
-Paula’s Choice retinol
-ROC retinol eye cream
-Hydrating toner, either Pixi Rose Tonic or Cosrx Snail Mucin Power Essence
-Pixi rose oil
I haven’t gone out of my way to include niacinamide or peptides in my routine, but they are covered by the products I already use.
63, good skin aging naturally and gracefully. Morning, rinse with water, Oil of Olay Compete, SPF 30. Evenings, wash with whichever Oil of Olay cleanser was on sale the last time I stocked up. Night of Olay moisturizer. I occaisionally get fancy and try something else but go back to the Oil of Olay every time.
I know I’m very likely in the minority here, lol.
Late 40s, and I do nothing other than wash my face one a day with dove sensitive skin.
I’ve never worn make-up or done anything else.
In the summer I sometimes wear sunscreen if I’m going to be spening a lot of time outdoors.
Even when I purchase petite blazers, the sleeves are too long on me. Does pushing up the sleeves or folding sleeves look sloppy in a business casual to business formal environment. Any tips for shortening sleeves when there are button holes in the way?
Take it to a tailor and they can sort the buttons out for you when they shorten the sleeves.
This.
OP, unless you have above average sewing skills, the answer is always ‘find a tailor’.
I have T-Rex arms and have to get all my sleeves shortened. Even though my tailor deals with the buttons, it is never as good as if there were no buttons at all.
The Cadillac fix is to take them up from the shoulders. I generally don’t bother with that unless it’s very expensive and I love it very much. Normally I roll or scrunch.
A tailor can take the sleeves up.
Your tailor can take it up from the top. This is what I usually do. My other advice is to look for 3/4 sleeves which sometimes just look normal on me.
+1