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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 198 Comments · by

Thursday’s TPS Report: Marled Tweed Jacket

The Personal Shopper (TPS)· Under $150

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Ann Taylor Marled Tweed JacketAnn Taylor is offering an extra 40% off all sale styles (no code needed), and I'm liking this marled tweed jacket with lavender accents. If you're unsure about how to wear blazers as separates, a fabric like tweed (with a muted pattern like this) is exactly the right place to start — you can wear this with blacks, grays, even more colorful items with no fear that people think you're wearing a suit. It was $189, then marked to $150, but with the sale it comes down to $89ish, available in regulars and petites. (Note that the matching skirt is still available in lucky size 4.)  Ann Taylor Marled Tweed Jacket Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-3)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

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Comments

  1. Diana Barry

    I like this! Except for the bracelet sleeves, I’ll take my suits with long sleeves in the winter, thank you.

    Reposting for anyone who missed it:
    I have a Boden cotton knee-length skirt, very slight A-line, brown with floral embroidery all over; and
    an Ann Taylor jacket, buttons all the way up (so more of a ‘coat’ look, I guess), red flannel;
    both in size 8.
    If anyone is interested, please email me at dianabarry r**te at gmail (no spaces). Free to a good home except for shipping cost. :)

    • AIMS

      I like this too, but precisely because of the bracelet sleeves — regular sleeves always end up way too long on me.

          • Mags

            Me too! I hesitate to buy bracelet sleeved items, or ankle length pants, because I’m always worried it wont look intentional- just that I’m wearing improperly tailored clothing.

            When I clicked through to Ann Taylor though, this jacket is shown with long sleeves (in the picture with the model facing away from us) but in the main picture it has bracelet sleeves. Think they might just be rolled up?

      • anon-oh-no

        me too. i almost always want bracelet sleeves. and if something doesnt have them, i usually roll my sleves up — even on suit jackets (yay for pretty lining)

  2. NOLA

    My landlady texted me after midnight last night to tell me that someone will be working in the attic above a crack in my bedroom ceiling. I get that it probably didn’t occur to her that I keep my phone on at night (in case of emergencies, even at work) but I can’t believe she didn’t think to text me until midnight. Is it reasonable of me to request that she not text me after 10? I go to bed early because I get up early and she knows that. She texted me this morning, suggesting that I do something differently (I put things on the bed and the floor and covered it all with a plastic dropcloth in case junk falls through the crack). And I was already at work. So now I haven’t gotten enough sleep and I’m hoping to get my passport photo done today. I don’t think there’s enough concealer in the world.

    • Wildkitten

      It’s not unreasonable, but is it necessary? Is this a one time thing or does it happen a lot?

      • NOLA

        Well, right now she’s having a lot of work done prior to an inspection and she is already and anxious person and this is throwing her over the edge. I have been more than accommodating but some of her requests are just crazy. So I guess it’s been more about that. She doesn’t communicate well. She called me Sunday and just went on and on until I finally told her that I needed to go because I would be late getting to my friend’s house (I had just enough time to shower, dress, put food in the car).

        • Sydney Bristow

          She’s the one who had a big issue with the date on when you got furniture delivery, right? I might pick my battles with her.

          • Frugal doc..

            +1

            I’ve learned you have to walk a fine line with landlords. I’d try to let it go.

          • OP

            Yeah that was all part of the same issue. She decided to paint the front porch, after I had ordered furniture, and during the coldest, wettest 2 weeks of the year. Then it didn’t dry and I kept having to reschedule the delivery. And I had a dead Christmas tree in my livingroom that I could not remove. I’ll be very happy when all of this is over. Her ability to refinance and get new insurance could affect my rent.

    • new york associate

      I also think that reasonable people can disagree about how to appropriately use text messages. I tend to think of them as email-lite. In other words, I can send a text whenever I need to, and I have no expectation that someone will respond immediately. (I usually wouldn’t send one in the middle of the night, though.) I think other people think of texts more like calls, where of course you shouldn’t call after 10 pm. What do y’all think?

      More specifically, NOLA, I think you can ask for earlier notice for these things, but I wouldn’t focus on the texting issue. Just ask for earlier warning.

      And hey, no one cares what you look like in your passport photo!

      • Godzilla

        Agreed. You can also change the volume settings of your texts/alerts but not your phone calls so that it doesn’t affect your sleep. I bet there’s an app for volume themes if it’s not a part of your default operating system.

        • January

          The current iOS allows you to set a “Do Not Disturb” so you won’t get text/message during certain specified hours of the day (unless they’re from certain people that you designate as VIPs). I’m not familiar with Android, but I’d imagine they have something similar.

          • LilyB

            yeah definitely check out the do not disturb feature, NOLA… I make my bf use it because his friends text at like 2 am and he sleeps through the vibrating but I can’t. You can make exceptions for family or friends who wouldn’t text unless it were an emergency, but otherwise your phone will not make a peep.

    • Anonymous

      I’m truly intrigued by people who keep their phones in the bedroom with them. I know there are people with sick parents/relatives/friends who may need to be available at all times, but it seems many people keep their phones near their beds as a matter of course. I know I am lucky that I am not the primary contact for anyone who might need emergency help, because it would never occur to me to keep the phone someplace where it might interfere with my sleep.

      • Anon

        I don’t have any sick parents/relatives/friends, but I keep my phone beside my bed because:

        1) if a loved one has a heart attack or traffic accident at 2am, or gets mugged, or lost their car keys and needs a ride, I don’t want to find out about it at 7am when I check my phone in the living room

        2) it’s my alarm clock.

        • JJ

          Yup. It’s my alarm clock. And having been woken up by a call in the middle of the night that family members were hit by drunk drivers and there were multiple fatalities (not to my family member, thankfully), I don’t sleep without it next to me.

        • NOLA

          I use it for my alarm clock as well. I have different alarms for different days. And, I am concerned about work emergencies (generally up to 2 am) or family or SO. My SO always had his phone turned off (except for calls, I think, it was a setting) and when we had a tornado in my neighborhood, I texted him rather than calling. He was really upset that he didn’t know until 6 am and couldn’t get here sooner. It was lights and sirens and driving on the shoulder for more miles than I care to think about.

      • Senior Attorney

        That’s so funny because back in the day, we all had a land line on the bedside table.

      • TO Lawyer

        This is funny (0r maybe sad) because I can’t imagine being that far away from my phone…

      • OP

        Did not think about using the phone as an alarm clock.

        Senior Attorney is right, I do remember my parents having a land line next to their bed (kids did NOT have phones in their rooms, at least we didn’t). I think the difference is, you pretty much knew that if the phone rang very late at night, it was an emergency. Versus now, when people seem to think they can call/text, and must receive a response, about anything at any time.

        I am very happy I have a smartphone, but I can totally be away from it for hours at a time. I’m not that important. I have to say, I have a couple of friends I very much enjoy being with, except for the fact that they will look at their phone when we are out for dinner, or right before or after a movie or something. And they are not looking to see if they have to go transplant a heart or deliver a baby or decide whether or not to launch a nuclear missile. I think it’s just rude to look at email, Facebook, texts, whatever, when you are with a real live person. Even if it only is for a minute.

        But as you can probably tell from my comment about no phones in the kids’ rooms, I am old.

        • OfCounsel

          In partial defense of your friends, I often check my phone (and it is always the last thing I look at before a movie starts and after it is over). I am looking for a lot of things: (1) I have a kid who is probably not with me; (2) I have elderly family members in precarious health; (3) my sister often needs my help with her children (one of whom has a chronic illness and has to be taken to the doctor unexpected and often) and (4) (most commonly) I may have an email from my boss and he wants an immediate response – even if it is only “Got it”. I don’t text or email when I am with someone unless I apologize and explain – but I check all the time. I just cannot afford, for both personal and professional reasons, to be out of touch for more than a couple of hours.

      • marketingchic

        I keep mine bedside as an alarm clock, but have set up “do not disturb” mode for the hours I normally sleep. On the iPhone, you can set this up to exclude contacts in your favorites (which for me are just family) so emergency calls would get through.

        • NbyNW

          I have kids away at college and elderly, sick parents/in laws and have choosen not to block calls at all because there is the chance that said kids/parents will be using a new-to-me phone number to call in an emergency (e.g. at hospital, at police station, car broke down w/no cell service, phone lost/out of battery, staying with friends or at a hotel… These situations are not unrealistic.) I would be peeved if someone texted me in the wee hours just as I used to be peeved when someone called on the land-line at 11p.m.

      • anon

        That’s nothing– I know more and more people who don’t EVER put it down– it’s always in one hand. So when they sleep of course it’s on the nightstand.

    • Anon

      On an iphone – You can change her text tone to silent. That way other “important” messages/texts will still make a sound but she will always be a mute texter.

      • abogada

        I think this is an awesome suggestion. You have one problem: a landlord with questionable boundaries. Don’t change your whole phone philosophy because of her, just mute the problem.

  3. Muppet

    Okay, I’ve been reading here for ages that skirts are warmer than pants in winter. Fleece-lined tights, cable-knit tights, double-layer tights, etc plus tall boots, wool skirt, long coat — better for commuting than pants. And I buy it, I really do — but I’m stuck in a rut with only pants in my wardrobe (which are, by the way, speckled in mud all along the back from walking through snow). I want to try to skirt + tights + boots look, but I have a really basic question.

    The few skirts that I do have just don’t seem to match with tights and tall boots. They’re more the nude pantyhose and pumps kind. I can’t articulate why. Is it the material? The cut? Is there a different type of skirt that looks right with cable knit tights and boots? Why do my pencil skirts look funny with that combination?

    Please help me figure out what I’m doing wrong! Thanks.

    • Diana Barry

      I think it is material dependent. I have a bunch of #2 pencil skirts in the double serge wool that look good with tights and boots, but my suiting skirts (mostly wool, lined, but lighter weight) do NOT look good – they look like they walked out of a different outfit.

      Tweed also works with tights and boots.

      If you look for some more substantial/knit/textured skirts, those ought to match better.

      • Suits 'n Boots

        I wear tights and not particulary light boots with suits (this J Crew 120s) all the time. I think it can work.

        Although, that said, I tend to dress slightly on the “edgier” side (or at least as edgy as a business formal office look can go realistically) so maybe that helps it too.

        Again, I think you just need to get used to new silhouettes. It took me years to get into skinny jeans because I just wasn’t used to/comfortable with that look on myself.

    • AIMS

      Are they summer weight material? Very thin fabrics? I wear ever silk skirts with tights and boots in the winter (not to work), but some suiting fabrics definitely have a more “spring/summer” feel that won’t look great with thick tights and boots in cold weather. What about something tweed or double serge wool/wool flannel?

    • new york associate

      It sounds like you mostly have suiting skirts. I’d still try them with tights and tall boots, but polished (not rustic or rugged) boots and fine-weave tights. In general, I think skirts with a little bit of texture are easier to put together with tights and boots.

    • anon-oh-no

      also, you really just need to find a skirt that works with tights, becuase you can change into heels when you get inside.

    • hellskitchen

      YMMV but when I transitioned years ago from a mostly-pants wardrobe to a skirts-and-boots wardrobe, it took me a long time to get used to not feeling weird with skirts and boots because it was a very new look for my body and I just wasn’t used to seeing myself in that silhouette. If your skirts are not silk or summery suiting material, then perhaps it’s just a question of getting used to this new look?

    • Olivia Pope

      I think whenever you change up your style, it’s normal to feel uncomfortable. I used to feel weird wearing dresses and skirts when I had a pants-based wardrobe. Now I hate pants!

      I’ve never seen a skirt that looked bad with tall boots.

      And I do think it’s warmer. I wear fleece tights or normal tights with warn socks under tall boots. The leather and the socks/fleece is so much better than pants. I also wear fleece tights under loose pants.

  4. Lyra Silvertongue

    Next week I’m going on a short trip to Dallas with my dad. We got really cheap flights and it’s meant to be a distraction from my continuing unemployment and how depressed I’ve been feeling. He’s actually attending a conference/working for most of that time, so I’ll be on my own for two days and one evening.

    Two questions:
    1) What are Dallas women wearing right now in terms of warmth and seasonal clothing? It looks like it’s supposed to be in the 50s in the day, which to me will seem like heaven (compared to 18 degrees here currently), but I’m guessing the city’s residents will be much more covered up in coats, and I don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb.

    2) Suggestions for what to do on one’s own? Both day and night ideas would be appreciated. I have looked at some tourist info and have some ideas, but I’d love to hear from someone who knows the city.

    Thanks!

    • HM

      It’s currently 20 degrees and snowing… but will be in the 60s by the weekend. So, watch the weather forecast. But if you don’t have a heavy coat on in the 60s, you’ll still be fine.

      As for fun things to do, in the evening, I would strongly encourage you to check out the offerings at the Winspear, Myerson, and the ATT performing arts blackbox theater. All of them offer excellent events and you can typically get last minute tickets on the cheap. Also, there are a number of excellent food options throughout Uptown, Knox/Henderson area, and many are sort of an event unto themselves.

      If the weather is nice, the new Klyde Park over downtown is fun, and typically has food trucks around. The Arboretum is also fantastic to visit. TopGolf just reopened, and is a lot of fun for golfers and non-golfers alike (and they provide clubs). I’ve also heard wonderful things about the Perot Museum, and the Dallas Museum of Art is great, too.

      For things on the less expensive side – a walk around White Rock Lake, or down the Katy trail are great for looking at historic/ritzy neighborhoods. And you can’t come to Dallas without a visit to the 6th Floor Museum. (It’s been a while since I visited, but I remember it being very well done.) Enjoy!

      • JJ

        Agreed on all of this. Keep an eye on the weather because it literally can be upper 60s/70s one day and snowing the next. Outerwear runs the gamut and unless you’re running around sub-freezing temperatures in shorts and sandals, I doubt anyone will look twice.

        Do you know what part of town you’re staying in? HM’s suggestions are all great, as well.

      • Anonymous

        Third all of this. Where are you staying?

        I’ll also add Bishop Arts as a fun place to go eat–Lockhart Smokehouse is my favorite place for brisket (I’m not counting Pecan Lodge because I’m guessing OP doesn’t want to spend the entire trip standing in line), and Bolsa is also delicious.

        Hopefully the weather will warm up by the time you get here! Today is awful.

        • Lyra Silvertongue

          Thanks for all the suggestions! We’re staying in the Downtown Marriott City Center, I believe.

  5. Anon4This

    Random tax-related TJ:

    Based on my current income, I just barely no longer qualify for the student loan interest deduction. If I were to increase my 401k contributions to the maximum (or close to it), my taxable income would drop below the current interest deduction cap. Would doing this then make me eligible to deduct student loan interest? Or, in the alternative, is anybody else aware of another mechanism for deducting student loan interest?

    Before I embark on calculating whether this would work for my overall financial situation (calculating the reduction in my monthly budget etc.), and making an appointment to talk to a CPA about it, I just want to get a sense of whether it is allowable and whether there are any other considerations I would need to think about before structuring my income in such a way.

    • Senior Attorney

      That should work, subject to the caveat that the student loan deduction would probably be pretty small, as Anonymous at 11:16 a.m. below points out.

      But besides that, you should be maxing out your 401(k) contribution anyway. Pay yourself first! You won’t miss the money after the first few paychecks, and the sooner you start saving for retirement, and the more you save, the better off you will be in the long run!!

      • Batgirl

        People always say that, but it’s not necessarily the best choice if you are still saving for a home or have substantial student loans. I pay into my 401K but it’s not my only priority and maxing it out at my salary would mean I couldn’t save for an emergency fund or any other financial priorities. Not trying to be snarky, I just don’t think it’s universally true advice.

        • Senior Attorney

          Everybody has different priorities. If I had it to do over again, I’d have made maxing out the 401(K) a priority from Day One and adjusted my lifestyle accordingly, because those early contributions are worth so much more due to the time value of money.

          It’s a dilemma, I know, because that’s the very time in your life when there are so many other things (house, building emergency fund, kids) that are competing for your dollars. But man, if you don’t take full advantage early you really have to bust your butt later to catch up!

          And I, too, am not trying to be snarky. Just discussing a topic of intense interest!

          • Brant

            My DH maxed out his from Day 1 after undergrad (2005). I contributed, but didn’t max out until 2007 (hey! I was in grad school!). We are now 30 and his portfolio is worth almost $50k more than mine.

            That additional $15-20k back in 2006 and 2007 grew like gangbusters.

            FWIW we have roughly the same investment portfolio

          • anon not to out

            The time value of money also applies to student loans – if you pay them off quickly, the total interest on the loans will be less than if you take the allotted amount of time to pay them off. So it really can go both ways based on each persons financial situation.

        • Anon4This

          I, too, appreciate hearing other perspectives on this. I do currently contribute to my 401k and in an amount that is more than sufficient to get the company match. Like you, Batgirl, I’ve not sought to max out my 401k before because of other financial priorities (emergency fund, substantial student loans, house down payment, etc.).

          I was interested in exploring the idea of increasing my contributions in order to possibly take advantage of the student loan deduction and maybe lower my required IBR student loan payments, but knowing now that it is a phaseout deduction I’m not sure that it would make sense given my other priorities.

          • Esquared

            Jesus me too… this year we (my husband & I) paid 20k in interest. We make decent salaries but 20k is a tough bullet to swallow no matter how much you make.

      • Parfait

        If I maxed out my 401K, I’d have 20K left to live on. Not gonna happen. I put in enough to get the match, but that’s it.

        • Ashley

          Not to mention, how many decades do you want to carry debt? If maximizing your savings means you will still have tens of thousands of dollars in debt when you retire, you are doing yourself no favors.

    • Fromage

      Check out the IRS website. There’s a publication about student loan interest deductions.

    • Anonymous

      The max deduction is $2,500 so if you’re in the 30% tax bracket you’re going to save yourself $750 in taxes by taking the deduction. The MAGI income limit is not an all or nothing, as in you are able to deduct the entire $2,500 or nothing, it’s a phase out. Look at IRS Pub 960 and this should help you out a bit.

      To answer your question re: 401k, yes, contributions to your 401k reduce your MAGI and could put in a position to qualify for deduction of student loan interest.

      As SA said above, you should be maxing out your 401k anyway.

      • Fromage

        Based on her question, it sounds to me like the OP’s gross salary is near the $75K cap for student loan interest deductions for single filers. If that’s true, maxing out her 401(k) would be 23% of her pre-tax income, so I think it’s too simple to say she MUST max out her 401(k). Even with the huge tax advantage of a 401(k), it could still be financially prudent to leave that cash free for immediate needs (e.g., an emergency fund) or other financial goals like paying off her student loans early.

        • Senior Attorney

          Really, 23%?

          Okay, I’m backing off then. I thought the max was about half that.

          Carry on.

          • Anon

            The max is $17,500. For many people that is a very significant percentage of their total income.

          • Senior Attorney

            I was under the impression was a % of income, rather than a dollar amount. You’re right, certainly $17,500 is out of reach for many people. But I think, say, 10-15% should be a bare minimum.

        • snowy

          yeppp. Both DH and I put ~24% of our income into our 401(k)s to max out. Not a small chunk at all, but we really want to be able to survive in retirement.

          • Esquared

            We max out (which is about 20% of our pre-tax income), and I kind of think of it as a “it’s not easy now, but it never will be, so we might as well start” kind of thing.
            Before that, I always had $200/paycheck going to it anyway… I figured I’d spend that that much on clothes or snacks and lunches a month without thinking about it and if I had that attitude about stupid things I don’t need, I should not think twice about spending it no retirement either.
            That said, I totally get were some of you all are coming from. Our first year out of law school, money was super tight and sometimes you just don’t have money to spread around to all the things you’d like to be able to spread it around to (rent, etc).

        • Kontraktor

          We recently just started to make enough to max out 2 401ks and 2 Roth IRAs (without giving ourselves a ‘raise’ to everyday cash flow). It’s a huge chunk of income, especially when a third of it is post tax.

      • Sydney Bristow

        That is really helpful information. I filed a couple of days ago and felt a lot of pain seeing how much student loan interest I paid last year and knowing that I didn’t qualify for the deduction. Saving $750 in taxes definitely wouldn’t be worth having a lower income to qualify. It’s helpful to know what the real impact of the deduction could have been instead of longing for an unspecified amount.

        • Anon

          I think the student loan interest deduction should not phase out. In other words, it should be 100% deductible by anyone paying the interest. It makes me really angry every January when I finalize my taxes and see that giant number but don’t get any deduction. It’s no different than mortgage interest in my mind. I chose to get an education and I chose not to buy a house. I don’t think either purchase should be treated better/worse in the tax realm. I keep telling myself I have fewer years left to pay than I’ve already paid. But it still really gets my goat!

          • BankrAtty

            +1000

            Amidst all the debate about student loan forgiveness, this option seems to get left out: what if ALL student loan interest were deductible, regardless of income level? I agree completely with your comparison to mortgage interest–if the logic behind the morgage interest deduction is that it encourages and makes possible home ownership for the middle class, shouldn’t student loan interest get the same treatment under the law?

          • Sydney Bristow

            How does the mortgage loan interest deduction work? Do you get to deduct all the interest you pay no matter your income or only deduct a certain amount of it?

            My student loans are definitely my mortgage. I couldn’t even begin to consider trying to buy a house right now.

          • BankrAtty

            @Sidney Bristow, you can deduct up to $2500 in paid interest if your income is below the levels specified in IRS Pub 960.

          • Anon in NYC

            A partner that I’m friendly with was telling me that even at higher income levels that you don’t get 100% of the mortgage loan interest rate deduction. I don’t know what income level that is, but I am sure it is much higher than with student loans.

            If I could deduct my student loan interest I’d be deducting in the tens of thousands… and I don’t pay much more than the minimums.

          • Anonymous

            Also @ Sydney Bristow re: the mortgage interest deduction–

            You can deduct all of the interest you pay on a mortgage on your principal residence, up to a maximum principal amount of $1 million. You can also deduct up interest on a HELOC up to $100,000 (that’s the max amount of the LOC on which you can deduct interest payments, not a max on the interest deduction itself).

            The mortgage interest deduction is an itemized deduction. In 2013, a limitation known as the Pease limitation limits the amount of itemized deductions for taxpayers with AGI over a certain amount. For 2013, it’s $250k single/$300k married. The phaseout is 3% of AGI over the threshold (but the phaseout is capped at 80% of your itemized deductions–so you always get to take at least 20%). If you’re like me and need numbers to read that, suppose you have a married couple making $500k with $150k of itemized deductions from a hefty mortgage in its early years, and high state and local taxes. Their itemized deduction phaseout is 3% of 500k-300k, 0r $6,000. They still get to take $144k. Not bad.

          • Anon4This

            +1

            I’m glad I’m not the only person who is frustrated by this. This is exactly what prompted me to start looking at ways to be able to take the deduction.

          • Anonymous

            @Anon at 12:29–

            I actually wish there was an option to capitalize and amortize the cost of an education the same as any other business asset (or even deduct it all when paid, and be able to carry the NOL forward).

            Right now, we have all of these credits that are totally useless to most students because students don’t have enough income to actually use them. (I was a dependent my four years of college, so I was not entitled to claim any education credits, only my parents were–and they made too much that the credits were phased out, but not enough to pay for my school. So I got loans and no tax credit.)

            Then, the minute you get out of school and start earning a dime (but still paying off the massive loans that enabled you to earn that salary) you’re taxed as if you were born the day before and the salary plopped into your lap. It’s ridiculous.

          • Anonymous

            To clarify my above post, my parenthetical was my personal story but I certainly do not mean that most students do not get the benefit of the credits because they had that same situation. It’s more likely that their parents do get the credit but that doesn’t help the student, or that the student gets the credit but they had so little income that they probably didn’t owe tax anyway (the refundable part of the credit is so limited and poorly designed), and it’s not nearly as beneficial as if the student could take it when they finally get out and have to start paying those loans.

          • Sydney Bristow

            Wow thanks all. That’s one of those things if heard about but never bothered to look into how it worked since it didn’t impact my life.

            I paid a ton of interest on my student loans in 2012 but made too much to get any deduction so it just feels like it is taunting me.

          • Anon4This

            So I guess now we just need to work on electing members of Congress (or running ourselves) who are in-tune with these realities and willing to work hard to make these types of changes.

  6. Cb

    Tips, tricks and old wives tales for staving of impending illness? I’m chilled, have slight sore throat and am grumpy (only happens when I’m getting sick) and leave on fieldwork on Tuesday.

    My uni is on strike so I’ve been working from the couch today so lots of tea and staying bundled up.

  8. Senior Attorney

    I have a money management question for the Hive.

    I have a mid-six-figures 401(K) from a former employer that I will likely be cashing in for divorce-related reasons either in the next few months at the earliest, or at the latest in four years when I reach age 59-1/2 and can do so without penalty. I am aware that it is almost always a horrible idea to cash in retirement funds early, but let’s assume for purposes of this discussion that I have looked at all the angles and discussed it with my advisors and that it is the best of a lot of bad options at the moment.

    Here’s my question: The money is in a stock fund that went up almost 30% last year. In the past few weeks it’s gone down about 5% from the high and my local NPR channel tells me a “market correction” of 10% or so is on the horizon. I have had this fund for a very long time and have seen it crash twice — not interested in seeing that happen again. So I’m thinking it might be a smart move to take the funds out of the stock fund and put them in a money market account (still in the 401(K)) while I am waiting to see if and when I am going to cash it out. Locking in the gains, as it were.

    Thoughts?

    • January

      Well, a financial planner who comes to my firm to make presentations occasionally was here yesterday. She does do what you are considering doing under certain circumstances — i.e., if the market meets certain conditions, she pulls the money out to preserve capital. She also said that if a client came in with a chunk of cash, she would not tell them to get into the market right now. I asked why not (buy low, right?) and she explained that she thinks that the market is too dicey right now and things will settle down in a bit. She did not specifically say that she is taking her current clients’ money out of the market at the moment, though. Hope that’s semi-helpful?

    • Diana Barry

      If you are certain you will need the $$ from the fund, yes, switch it now. Don’t forget about the cap gains tax .

      • Senior Attorney

        It’s all pretax 401(K) money. My understanding is that all of it will be taxed as ordinary income when it’s withdrawn from the 410(K), whether now or later. Changing it from one form of investment to another within the 401(K) shouldn’t be a taxable event, right?

        …off to confirm with my accountant…

        • Senior Attorney

          Yes, confirmed. As long as it stays in the 401(k) account, you can move it among investment vehicles and there is no taxable event. The taxable event is when you withdraw the funds from the 401(K), at which point is’s all taxed as ordinary income.

    • Anonymous

      I would take it out if its a high % of your retirement savings – I forget what the exact numbers are, but I think it’s like 100 minus your current age is the amount your savings you should have in stocks? And as you get closer to retirement you should definitely transition more to safer investments. This advice is the same regardless of what we think will or won’t happen in the market because honestly, who can really predict that?

    • MJ

      This is really a risk tolerance question — it’s what you feel comfortable with. But, if your goal is preservation of capital, I would move the money to a money market fund. This is your safest bet if you are not super-interested in losing upside but are very interested in preserving capital.

      Alternately, (and this really is far more toward speculation than capital preservation), if you feel strongly the market is going to fall, then there exist funds which short the market (so market down, your funds up) or that track VIX (volatility–good or bad). Like I said, probably not really what you need/wouldn’t help with keeping you up at night, but those are options in a down market which _might_ lead to good results. Again, these are far riskier, probably not what you need, but they are options.

    • Meep

      It is very difficut to time the market. That said, if the amount of money in the 401k was enough to meet my divorce-related needs I would move it to cash now. Enough money is enough money and peace of mind also has a value.

  9. Anonymous

    I don’t know the answer to your specific question, but the student loan interest deduction phases out as you get to the cap, so if you fall just under the cap, the benefit is going to be very small.

    • Anon4This

      Thanks, I wasn’t aware of the phase out. Last year was my first year out of law school so I have never utilized the deduction. Since I pay over $12k in student loans every year (although not all is interest) I was hoping to be able to at least deduct something. Alas, it seems it is not meant to be.

  10. LitiGator

    Wardrobe help needed for a Floridian who is headed north:

    You guys, I am headed to Long Island and St. Louis next week for work. I live in central Florida, so I have no idea how to dress for winter. I’ll be required to wear a suit, even though it will be freezing. How do I layer up, yet still look professional?

    • PolyD

      Thin silk longjohns under pants? A camisole under shirts? Wool or cashmere sweaters under the suit jacket? You will probably need a real winter coat – maybe you know a transplanted Midwesterner who has one you can borrow? Then again, places like Lands End, Eddie Bauer, LL Bean, are probably having some major sales right now.

      Oh, and apparently – FLEECE TIGHTS!!

    • Ellen

      Yay! I Love Ann Taylor and this, with a very nice silk blouse mabye?

      As for the OP, make sure to buy very warm clotheing, includeing a heavy coat (or at least a PUFFY down coat) that is big enough to put OVER a suit. I got one last year from Marmont that my dad gave me, but then I gave it away to NY Care’s BEFORE it got so cold here. I wish I had NOT done that b/c I had to borrow Myrna’s fur, which smelles funny! FOOEY!

      The IRS guy as much as told me he no longer has a girfreind and that he like’s me b/c he offered to take me to dinner and NOT even charge the IRS. I told him we alway’s bill the cleint, but for some ethiecal reason, he will NOT allow us to buy him dinner or even Crumb’s! I think he is VERY ethiecal, not like Alan, who never was honest with me when it came to our releationship. The IRS guy agrees that Alan was a lousy person. DOUBEL FOOEY! Mabye an acountant for the IRS would not be so bad, but that depend’s on wether the manageing partner would let me head up a new export / import practice from DC.

      I told Dad that I might not be comeing home this weekend b/c of this guy, and he was disapporinted b/c he is sure I am stalling b/c of my tuchus. The cleaneing lady has to give me back my fitbit first any way, I told him. Mabye she is geting a smaller tuchus if she is workeing out with my Fitbit!!! YAY!

    • KLG

      My January/February trip to St. Louis last winter was cold and snowy but I didn’t have to walk around a ton so I wore pants suits with a long sleeved sweater underneath and high heeled boots. I also made sure to bring a scarf, gloves, and wool coat. I did wear a hat after work but had to forego it during the day since I have curly hair. Some of the people on the trip with me wore thin long johns under their pants. I didn’t think that was necessary for the little amount of time it took me to walk to my car.

      • Anonymous

        I like the things that wrap around ones ears for keeping my ears warm without messing up my hair. I think they’re called 180s ear warmers.

    • TBK

      I agree on thinking about warmer tops for under your suit jacket. But generally if I’m wearing the full suit battle gear (i.e., not suit separates but the real deal) I wear exactly the same thing summer or winter. It’s the outer wear that changes. Yes, you’ll need a real coat. But also make sure you have a hat and scarf. Do not forget the scarf! Find something substantial and that’s a long rectangle. Take the middle of the scarf and put it against your throat. Wrap the ends back around your neck and bring them to the front. Cross them over your chest then put on the coat and button it over the scarf. I’ve known a lot of southerners who come north and know to wear a coat but don’t know about the importance of scarves or how to wear them so they actually keep you warm. They make a huge difference. As does a (warm!) hat (fleece, cashmere, or heavy wool is best — acrylic just isn’t the same).

    • Killer Kitten Heels

      I HATE that I am about to give this answer, but I’m in one of the areas you name, and I have to wear a suit every day, and this is what I’ve been doing:

      Fleece leggings under pants suits (leggings rather than pants so they don’t show when I change into heels at work). Fleece tights under opaque “normal” black tights with my black and dark grey skirt suits. I’ll also wear fleece leggings over pantyhose with a skirt suit while in transit, then remove them when I get to work. I also wear heavy boots every day (true snow boots when it’s actively snowing/raining/icing, big fluffy Uggs-like boots on days that are cold but not actively snowing/raining/icing) and then change my shoes at the office, rather than trying to wear one pair of shoes/boots that works both for my public-transit-heavy commute and the office. I’ve been wearing my down coat every day, although I also have a 3/4 length wool coat that used to make appearances on days when it wasn’t raining/snowing/icing and was over 20 degrees Farenheit (not that those days exist anymore).

      Get gloves too, and either a hat or a coat with a good hood that will stay in place while you’re out and about. Covering your extremities is key to not freezing to death.

    • St. Louisan

      I agree with most of the above, but beware that office temperatures vary. Silk long-johns might leave you overheated. I’d go instead with layers you can remove – scarves, cardigans, etc. My office is an icebox, but people in different parts of the same office building are sweating.

      It’s too back you’re visiting next week – it’s crazy cold right now.

      • Anonymous

        Yes. I am overheating just reading these comments. Outerwear, including hat, gloves and scarf, but no need to layer up under your work clothes unless you anticipate walking outside for long periods of time. Otherwise, you will be so warm indoors.

    • Anon

      Unless you’re going to be walking around in the cold, just have the appropriate outerwear handy. You can put fleece tights, long underwear, etc under your suit, but you’re going to be inside a 70 degree office and will probably sweat to death. I don’t think suits are hot weather clothing, either – you’re wearing a jacket indoors, after all.

  11. Gerry Atric

    Y’all: I have a confession. I ordered pants from Chadwicks and I like them. I am 34 years old and could not find pants that I liked (real wool content, colors other than black, appropriate length, decent price, etc.) at any of my normal, age-appropriate stores. I was desperate.

    I assume that I will immediately start receiving catalogs for orthopedic shoes and flannel nightgowns now.

      • AIMS

        I am 32 and I really want to go on a river cruise. Every time I see that commercial for Viking River Cruises before Downton Abbey I make Mr. AIMS promise me that we will go on one of these one day.

        • TBK

          I always wonder if I’m the right demographic for Downton when I see that ad. (I think I am; I’m just not PBS’s typical demographic.) But I have to say that while an ocean-going cruise isn’t my thing (just too much time on a giant floating hotel for my taste), a river cruise sounds ideal. Packing and re-packing and moving hotels every few days is one of the more annoying parts of going to Europe on vacation. The idea of a movable hotel seems great! But definitely about two decades too young for one now. Maybe when the babies graduate college, Mr. TBK and I can celebrate with a river cruise.

        • Portia

          Me too (I sometimes even pause the DVR so I can emphasize to my husband just how awesome a vacation it would be), except I’m 25.

        • Senior Attorney

          I’m kidding about river cruises, but I actually went on a river cruise in December 2012 (Mekong River) and it was the best vacation ever. I would totally do it again!

        • tidewater

          My grandparents did Viking River Cruises all over Europe and Asia and had amazing experiences. The commercials before DA remind me of things to be excited about as I get older! I would do one now if offered, I would just worry about being the token “young people” on the boat.

        • Lady Harriet

          The Downton Abbey commercial that always gets me is the Ralph Lauren one. If I ever come into boatloads of money those are the clothes I want to wear!

      • Lisa

        I did a Uniworld river cruise in March with my parents. DH & I were the youngest by 20 years at least (and we’re mid-40s), but it was wonderful! The cruise line thinks of everything, daily walking and bus tours were included, we hit numerous cities, they even made alternate arrangements when our original itinerary was changed due to weather. It’s definitely Europe “light”, in that we changed ports every day, but there was also some free time each day in case we wanted to explore a bit on our own. I would go again- in many years!

        • River Cruiser

          I did a river cruise in Russia and LOVED it! The key is to find one with a small boat. Those big ocean liners can only get into St. Petersburg, but our small boat held about 100-150 people, which allowed us to travel along the rivers and lakes from Moscow to St. Petersburg. We saw so much more than we would have been able to see otherwise.

      • Lyra Silvertongue

        True Life: I’m 26 and going on a river cruise. My parents booked one as a family holiday for themselves and DH and me for later this year to celebrate my dad’s 60th birthday. Further confession: I am so freaking excited. We’re going down the Rhine on a small boat.

    • Anon

      Yes, the predominance of light pink and baby blue in that catalog is a major reason why I won’t be able to get on board with the pastel trend.

    • tesyaa

      I actually used to order casual clothing from Chadwick’s when I was younger, sucked in by the cheap prices and styling. I forget what made me stop ordering, but I haven’t received their catalogs in like 5 years or more. I honestly thought maybe they went out of business, because back in the day I used to get about 2 catalogs from them every week.

    • michelle

      oh, no, is THAT why I’m getting all these ads for river cruises in the mail? i’m OLD now?

    • Ashley

      And you get said catalogs for decades. And if you ask to be removed from their mailing list, they will, instead, set up a second account. Oh yes, and they have shared your information with every company you have and have never heard of that sells polyester leisure suits.

      • hoola hoopa

        Me, too! haha – so true!

        I’m in PNW and no lie, we have a neighbor who wears a very nice suit to work every day and we always wonder what he does for a living! Because why on earth would someone need to wear a full suit everyday? LOL.

        • Orangerie

          I don’t think it’s THAT uncommon on the west coast. I live in SF and work in the financial district; on any given day I see a lot of people in full suits.

          AKA let’s not allow a few techies in hoodies and sneakers to give the rest of us a bad name.

          • Seattle Freeze

            But there were palm trees in the background, and the guy in shorts was not wearing socks with sandals, so clearly excluding PNW :)

          • anon

            I live in a beach suburb of LA, and my husband and I look like freaks when we show up to our kids’ school both wearing suits (or even something slightly less than a suit). All the really rich people are in flip flops and yoga attire. I guess paychecks are for suckers?

          • annoness

            When I did transit through the Financial District, I didn’t see that many people in suits … mostly biz casual and plain. Hah. What is a suit?!

  13. Hunter Boots

    Question regarding sizing – I know someone recommended purchasing a kids size instead of the adult as a money saver. Can anyone give me an idea of how tall they are compared to the adult boots? I am 5′ 5″ fwiw.
    Thanks!

    • Anon

      I am 5’4″ and tried to buy the youth boots. I have two pair – one for wearing at the barn and another for wearing in the rest of my life. When I was buying my second pair, I tried the youth boots because of a combination of price and fit. Best thing about them is the smaller shaft circumference. I really liked that but unfortunately the boot height just didn’t work for me. I don’t think my legs from ankle to knee are longer than average but the shorter boot height looked ridiculous. There’s almost a 4″ difference between my size 6 women’s boot and the youth size boot I would have purchased. Check the Extra Petite post linked to by Anonymous. I think her boots look way too short and awkward – like she’s wearing her kid’s boots or her kid sister’s boots. I looked just as silly. If you’ve got shorter legs and skinny calves, they might work just fine on you.

      • Susie

        Rubber boots are already a function over fashion item anyways, so I think you can get away with it. I’m pretty sure the OP was not planning on wearing them to client or board meetings!

        • Anon

          That wasn’t the intent of my sharing my experience. I did not think she was wearing them to a board meeting. DUH.

          In all seriousness, in addition to looking stupid, the lower shaft height actually defeats the function of rubber boots.

  14. Anon for This - American Opportunity Credit?

    Similar to the interest deduction above, I ran my info through TurboTax last night to estimate my refund. TurboTax thinks I’m eligible for the American Opportunity Credit (formerly the Hope Credit, I believe). I graduated law school this year and started working August, so I don’t think my parents can claim me as a dependent anymore (they helped me through law school). I took out one small loan in 2013, mostly to build credit so I didn’t apply to my tuition expenses, but that doesn’t seem to matter?

    Has anyone else gotten this credit? I was just slightly confused, but I did answer all the questions TurboTax asked correctly (I redid it about 10 times to be sure).

    • snowy

      All I know is when I used to use TurboTax it told me I was eligible for random things (Making Work Pay, Rental Rebate) and they never amounted to a huge amount of money. I’m sure it’s legit, just don’t get excited you’ll be seeing $$$ from it.

      • Anon for This - American Opportunity Credit?

        It seemed to make my refund jump up A LOT. FWIW, this is my first year filing my own taxes so I’m worried I messed something up. My refund is really big (almost $5k).

        • Anon

          Not a tax professional and this is not advice –

          But in my experience (for me and similarly situated friends), it is normal to have a big refund your first “year” of work after law school (assuming May graduation and August start date) because you’re taxed based on your annual income but only actually early about 35-40% of it.

          • Wildkitten

            Yeah – it’s normal to get a huge refund in your situation. You paid tuition this year and only made a half year of salary. It won’t happen again.

        • KLG

          Your refund is big because you’ve only been working since August, but your paycheck tax deductions are deducted as if you were making that salary for 12 months. Next year will be very very different. :)

          • Anon for This - American Opportunity Credit?

            I guess I will enjoy this year – luckily it will top off my emergency fund and I can start saving for something else!

    • Fromage

      I’m going to a broken record here: look at the IRS website. Also, given that you started work in August, you probably can use the 1040A for your federal taxes. It incredibly easy to fill out, and you’ll have no doubts about whether you qualify for a particular credit if you work through the instructions yourself. I get that state/local tax returns can be a pain – especially if you moved mid-year– but using TurboTax for federal returns if you qualify for the 1040A is more trouble than it’s worth. (Not sure why I’m so worked up about this.)

      • Anonymous

        CPA here. Only undergraduate course work is eligible for the American Opportunity Tax Credit. Turbo Tax has been messing this up for years. We had a couple of clients who were audited on this credit and had to pay it back (plus interest and penalties) for this very mistake.

        • Anonymous

          I accidently just hit report on my own post – didn’t mean to do that.

        • Anon for This - American Opportunity Credit?

          That’s what I thought from reading about it – thanks for confirming!

    • Anonymous

      You cannot take the American Opportunity Credit. That’s only for the first four years of post-secondary, i.e., undergrad.

      The Lifetime Learning is the credit available for grad school. You may be able to take it this year if you did not already take the expenses last year (YMMV, but my law school billed us for tuition in December 2010 (for example) for Spring 2011 tuition, and then reported that amount on the 2010 1098-T. If you paid the amount in 2011 (which is typically when your loans would have been disbursed) you can deduct it in 2011 despite what the 1098-T says, but ONLY if you did not already deduct it in 2010. You can’t claim the same expenses in multiple years.

    • Anon

      You do not qualify for the American Opportunity Tax Credit if you just graduated from law school. The credit is only available for the first four years of postsecondary education. However, if you paid tuition during the tax year (which I assume you did) you may be eligible for the tuition and fees deduction. Unfortunately, it’s not nearly as good as the AOTC. See: http://www.irs.gov/uac/American-Opportunity-Tax-Credit and http://www.irs.gov/publications/p970/ch06.html

    • Anon for This - American Opportunity Credit?

      Thanks everyone! This all helps a lot. I think I am eligible for the Lifetime Learning credit from what I understand.

  15. another tax Q

    The tax and retirement account questions on this thread got me thinking that you all might have some bright ideas for my situation.

    I got married at the end of the 2013. My husband and I just ran our taxes through TurboTax and are facing a very significant ‘marriage penalty’. We earn similar incomes (though he earns slightly more, and is thus in a higher tax bracket, so combined, we moved up a bracket – thus, the penalty). To be honest, we had’t done all the math or changed our normal withholdings (from what we’ve done every year filing as singles), so we were taking quite off guard by the very significant hit and are kicking ourselves.

    I understand that part of this is just the tax system, but I was wondering whether anyone has ideas for mitigating the situation or has found speaking to an accountant helpful (we have not yet done so). For reference, there are no obvious deductions available to us (no property, edu, health, kid deductions, etc.). However, we currently have 401ks and are wondering about tax advantages of rolling them into (Roth) IRAs, but preliminary research tells me we might be just above the income limit for those deductions.

    Anyway, any suggestions most welcome! TIA!

    • Lilypad

      Yeah, that’s the bummer of being rich and getting married. (Not picking on you; I, too, pay more in taxes every year because I’m married.) I no longer do myself the disservice of calculating the difference, because it just annoys me. When I did calculate it, I lowered my blood pressure by reminding myself that what I’m paying for is a bunch of rights and privileges that unmarried people don’t get (better car and life insurance rates, the right to visit each other in the hospital and be kept apprised of developments by the doctor, automatic inheritances if once of us were to die).

      But I’ll be following this thread in case anyone has some actual advice on lowering the penalty! For what it’s worth, I don’t think the Roth IRA will help your situation in any way.

    • Anon in NYC

      The same thing happened to me when I got married (I think it was around 8k that first year). We don’t have any deductions. Honestly, the only thing our accountant could advise us to do was either change our withholdings at work or independently save money each year with our expected penalty. So we just send money to a special ING account set up for taxes every pay period. When we do our taxes we use that money for whatever we owe. We’ve only gone through 2 rounds of taxes, but I think in our second year we only owed 3k (but we were and still are saving as if we’ll owe 8k).

      In terms of rolling your 401k into an IRA or Roth IRA, if your 401k is tied to your current job I don’t think you can t convert it. Second, if you make too much to open a Roth IRA you can always open a regular IRA and then immediately convert it to a Roth. Mechanically it’s very easy (and whomever you open the IRA with will be able to do it for you). I don’t know about tax implications though.

      • Anon in NYC

        Sorry, realized my answer wasn’t too clear. If your 401k is tied to an old job and you haven’t rolled that over anywhere, you can roll it over into an IRA. From there, you can convert to a Roth.

    • Anon

      Same thing happened to me the year we got married. It sucks. We just adjusted our withholding, and have been okay since then. I went to the IRS withholding calculator (should be the first result if you google it) and it told us we each needed to add a few hundred extra onto our withholding. We’ve actually gotten a small refund each year since then, which I know isn’t ideal (interest free loan to the government) but it’s worth it for the peace of mind of not owing each year.

  16. ExcelNinjariffic

    OK, I also have a tax season related question. At what point can you justify the $2k expense for a tax professional vs $600 for H&R Block Premium?

    I have a complicated tax situation with investments in multiple countries. Just not sure if the $2k accountant can actually do a $1400 better job than H&R Block Premium. Does anyone have any experience with this?

    • Diana Barry

      Maybe get second opinions from other accountants? We have a great accountant and lots of complications – partnership returns, self-employment tax, nanny tax, and our bill is around $1000. When he first started with us it was around $600 (only one partnership then).

      • ExcelNinjariffic

        I checked with one other accountant who gave me an hourly figure but wouldn’t commit to the number of hours, which didn’t sit well with me.

        I think the issue is that I need to file returns in two countries, which doubles the cost – so your $1k return doubled actually reassures me that the $2k figure is somewhat reasonable.

        I’ve just been reading reviews of H&R Block Premium and it sounds like the employees aren’t generally CPAs, which makes me uncomfortable…

    • Anonymous

      CPA here. When you have income from foreign countries you definitely want to see a CPA and specifically a CPA that specializes in foreign income issues. They can address issues surrounding resident vs. non-resident vs. non-resident alien. Also, if you file tax returns in another country this complicates things as well. Worldwide income is taxable in the United States. You may be eligible for a credit for tax paid to another country.

      I repeat, do not go to H&R Block for this!!!

      • ExcelNinjariffic

        Thanks Anon CPA! That is also what I’ve read, but some friends of ours who are in a similar situation to ours said they went to H&R Block Premium (not the regular H&R Block branch, but a specifically branded Premium branch) and had their taxes done for $600, which had me wondering if I was unnecessarily spending too much.

        • Anonymous

          Hopefully they never get audited, but if they do they’ll be paying back all that tax prep savings in back taxes, interest and penalties! Also, if a CPA messes something up (you specifically told them something about your situation and they neglected to address it) you would hold them liable. Whereas H&R Block, good luck.

          • Anon0321

            Is it actually true that you can hold them liable? Every time I’ve had someone do my taxes I believe I sign something saying they aren’t…?

          • Anonymous

            If they’re grossly negligent. Which I would put H&R block in the camp of grossly negligent but you can’t hold them liable. That’s why CPAs have liability insurance just like attorneys.

      • Anonymous

        You really want a CPA when you have foreign holdings. The maze of reporting requirements on foreign interests and how failure to comply may leave your statute of limitations open is extremely complicated for even CPAs–it is absolutely not something you should be relying on H&R Block software to do for you.

  17. Marie

    Hoping for some feedback on public speaking. Say you’re listening to a presenter who starts off sounding really nervous, but pulls herself out of it after say a minute or two and then ends up doing a pretty decent job (talking for about 5 minutes or so.) How likely are you to remember them as nervous sounding? Please be honest!
    I’ve been struggling with late in life stage fright and am trying to gauge how bad the public effect of it is. I was called on to speak in a meeting this morning and did what I described above – sounded halting, shaky voiced (so embarrassing, ugh), heart pounding. But after maybe 1 or 2 minutes I got my bearings and presented the way I’d like to.
    As an audience member, what would your perception be? Thank you in advance! And I know you’re a generally compassionate and sympathetic bunch (not sucking up, that’s really how I see you) but it would be most helpful not to sugar-coat. :)

    • frugal doc

      Actually, my overall perception would be positive, although I may remember their initial discomfort. In fact, I would be rooting for them in the beginning when they are nervous and dearly hoping they will improve as they continue to talk. And if they do improve, I would be a little proud of them and even more impressed when they do a good job. It can be really hard to pull things off sometimes when it starts rocky.

      A lot of people are uncomfortable with public speaking. Those of us who are, notice all the signs the most. But honestly, most people are not going to notice as much as you think.

      If it is really impeding your progress, make sure you hold off on coffee for a couple hours before your talk, work on relaxation techniques (look up “mindfulness” websites) and if you can’t beat it…. talk to your doctor about trying a low dose beta-blocker before important talks.

      When I was a serious performing classical musician earlier in life, many of my professional/hard-core colleagues took beta-blockers before auditions and concerts.

      • CKB

        +1 – I feel the same way when someone sounds really nervous. Because I know I get really nervous before public speaking (although I’m told I don’t sound it). I’ve seen public speakers fall apart (at our church we take turns giving talks as part of the Sunday meeting, starting at 12yo, so I’ve heard lots of variety in public speakers over the years). I’ve also seen them start off nervous, then settle down & finish strong. I like the character that is revealed when they don’t give up, and push through until they are feeling more comfortable.

        • Marie

          What a great and helpful perspective. I like that – what it says about character. Thank you.

    • Anon

      I agree with what frugal doc said above. Also, the nervousness may not be that noticeable to the audience. I have felt that way when I first start speaking also, and I am always told that no one could tell. (And this is from people who I know would be honest with me.) So it is likely much more noticeable to you than it is to the audience.

    • Dr Q

      I wouldn’t hold it against the person. Unsolicited advice: try a beta blocker if you can. Propanolol is the most popular one (you have to get a script from an MD), but they can seriously help with the nerves. They have worked wonders for me. Before I used them, even if i wasn’t feeling nervous, I sounded nervous, my voice would crack, and I was often told that I sounded like I was on the verge of tears. After using them routinely, I can now do much more public speaking without them (although I still use them for the big things)– I think my body learned some sort of “muscle memory” from them about how to not sound nervous.

  18. Marie

    You are so dang kind. Thank you for your thoughtful and candid feedback! Funnily enough, I was on beta blockers for a bit – but I’m pregnant now and afraid of taking them. The doc hasn’t actually told me I can’t — I just figure it’s bad, and don’t even want to risk it. Maybe I should ask, though.

    • Ashley

      Depending on how rough the start and how great the save, this may create a strong positive impression for me.

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