ByKat Hours Updated
Comments 191 Comments

Coffee Break: ‘Updated’ Skinny Patent Belt

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Another Line 'Updated' Skinny Patent BeltOooh: cute patent belt from Another Line. I like the covered buckle, and the range of sizes and colors is impressive — Nordstrom has it in 17 colors, in sizes from XS-3X, all for $28. Another Line ‘Updated' Skinny Patent Belt P.S. D'oh, and I somehow missed this earlier: Neiman Marcus is offering 40% off a ton of Cole Haan bags and shoes — the sale ends tonight. (L-3)

Sales of note for 12.13

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals on skincare including Charlotte Tilbury, Living Proof, Dyson, Shark Pro, and gift sets!
  • Ann Taylor – 50% off everything, including new arrivals (order via standard shipping for 12/23 expected delivery)
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 400+ styles starting at $19
  • J.Crew – Up to 60% off almost everything + free shipping (12/13 only)
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off everything and free shipping, no minimum
  • Macy's – $30 off every $150 beauty purchase on top brands
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off, plus free shipping on everything (and 20% off your first order)
  • Talbots – 50% off entire purchase, and free shipping on $99+

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

191 Comments

  1. I am in the hospital and I am BORED. Anyone got any recommendations on new shows to watch on Netflix or websites to kill time on?

    Things that don’t require much thought are a clear preference. (There’s only so much on-line shopping I can do y’all.)

    1. Vampire Diaries! Its my go-to show to watch while on the elliptical. Hope you feel better soon!

      1. Second. I avoided The Vampire Diaries like the plague because I thought it was Twilight for TV, but it is not. The acting/writing can get a little cheesey (sp?), but there are enough gratuitous shirtless shots that more than make up for that.

        Feel better soon!

        1. I actually have watched most of TVD (except for the second half of this season – I’ve decided to wait for the end of the season and watch it in marathon form…though maybe now that I’m all hospitalized.) I’m on team Delena with a spattering of Klaroline (though I also like Caroline with Stefan…so maybe I just like Caroline with everyone….)

          I wish they’d stop killing off everyone though (though I hear my favorite character – Alaric – is making a comeback this year because of some complicated reason I don’t understand – so I’m super psyched for that.) Okay…I watch a LOT of television. Don’t judge. ;-)

          1. I’ve watched all they have on Netflix and am waiting for the CW to restart this season (c’mon May 23rd!), so I am pretty behind, but based on what I did see I want Klaus and Caroline to work far more than I should. I thought after Gossip Girl I was done with the CW, but they keep pulling me back!

            I’ll throw a couple more suggestions your way (not that you need them):

            The Riches
            Princess Tutu (it’s an anime, but don’t hold that against it)
            Or go on a 90’s movie kick (Clueless, She’s All That, etc.)

    2. So sorry you are in the hospital ! Try House of Cards, Friday Night Lights, Walking Dead, or Breaking Bad. For humor, try Big Bang Theory. Although House of Cards does require some thought, as it is a political double cross kind of thing.
      I like www. televisionwithoutpity.com to read message boards, etc about TV shows.

      Hope you are better soon.

      K

    3. Oh, no, TCFKAG, sorry to hear you are in the hospital! I hope you are OK. Was this planned or unexpected? I don’t have any recommendations but I send along my best wishes for good health and a speedy recovery.

      1. Yes, I am also VERY sorry you are in hospital. FOOEY! Get well soon!!!!! If you are BORED and havent already started, I recomend that you watch all the MAD MEN episode’s!!! They are so cool, and I love Dan Draper! It is all about the 1960’s and MY dad say’s it is all VERY true to life. My dad think’s I am like Betty, but she is to nourotic for me, and she also is a brunette now. Personaly I think I am like Don’s new wife–altho NOT a blond like me, she is very French and very talented at work also! And Dan is so good with her, except I will NEVER understand how he can cheat on her with the DOCTORS’ WIFE! WHAT DOES HE SEE IN HER????? FOOEY ON MEN THAT ARE NOT TRUE TO US! I will NEVER marry a man who I think will cheat on me! FOOEY on that! DOUBEL FOOEY b/c I will never be able to sleep with him again! NOW I know why Betty could not stand Dan. FOOEY!

      1. We could totally be TV buddies. I’ll second earlier recs for House of Cards, too. I blew through those (helps that I live in DC and could recognize every. single. shot. in the opening sequence).

        1. The British House of Cards is also pretty fabulous (I actually liked it better).

          TCFKAG, so sorry you’re in the hospital, I hope all is ok. Park & Rec — if you’re not a regular watcher already — is always great for perking me up. Also, any episode of Arrested Development, the Best of SNL with Christopher Walken, Dr. Who, or if you want a fun movie to watch with a hot male lead, may I suggest, Thor — directed by Kenneth Branagh of all people and quite entertaining.

      2. +1 on all of these, as well as house of cards. i just got into archer recently and did so by binge-watching the first three seasons – where have you been all my life??

    5. Sorry you are sick!

      I just blew through Damages with Glenn Close. It was awesome although the young female not-glenn-close lawyer wears really odd clothes all the time beyond season one.

      1. Ha! I am always looking at that character’s clothes and trying to decide: love/hate and appropriate/inappropriate.

        1. Kate used to do a feature on here where she would name a female character on tv and critique her clothes from a C-rette POV. I think she did it for the Glenn Close character. She hasn’t done it in a while.

    6. Aww! Sorry you are in the hospital! Have you seen all the early seasons of the Office? I second televisionwithoutpity. And there’s always Cake Wrecks!

    7. Sorry you are in the hospital! There’s a new episode of Wipeout on Hulu. Netflix shows (of varying levels of thought): Sister Wives, Dogtown (if you like dogs), DC Cupcakes, Weeds.

    8. Nashville. It’s cheesy and I don’t like country music but somehow the show sucked me in. Hope you get out of there soon!

      Any thoughts on the Fitbit? Worth it? Can you really hook it in your br* without it being visible?

      1. I love my fitbit. It’s worth it – I would get the fitbit one and not the bigger/cheaper one. I clip it in the middle and it works, but there are a number of places you can stash it, so I change it up depending on the outfit.

    9. Oh no! I’m sorry you’re sick! Hospitals are no fun:( Feel better soooon.

      I’ve been enjoying “Make It or Break It” on Netflix, I’m quite certain the target demographic is 13 year old girls, but whatever, it 100% requires no thought. I’ve also been loving Doctor Who (thanks to the ladies that recommended it), but I do find it tough to watch back-to-back.

      For websites, check out Advanced Style. Those ladies are pretty fab, and I, for one, cannot wait for the day that I’m awesome enough to wear a kaftan and wayyyy too many sparkly bangles while walking to the cupcake store. I also like Girls of A Certain Age.

      1. I’ve watched Make it or Break it (at least the first two seasons) and I agree – its oddly compelling. Also oddly compelling from ABC Family was 10 Things I Hate About You.

        A kaftan to the cupcake store….how very passé. Lol. Clearly you have to wear a kaftan while getting mini bundt cakes.

        1. I thought I was the only person who watched 10 Things I Hate About You on ABC – and the only one who noticed when they pulled the show off air abruptly. Perhaps we were the only two viewers… which explains why they canceled it :-(

        2. Noooo, the whole point of the kaftan lifestyle is doing what you want, wearing what you want, etc. I happen to like cupcakes more than bundts, regardless of whether they’re cool, so…cupcakes it would be. I would, however, pick mini cheesecakes over cupcakes.

          Plus, I have like 30-40 years before I can go full kaftan, and I assume by then that cupcakes will be on to cycle 3 or 4 of being fashionable because they were retro. I can totally imagine them being hip again in 2040 or whatever.

          I’ve put a lot of thought into the kaftan wearing, obviously. I should submit a request to you for a kaftan-inspired dress that I can practice with now, so that when it’s full-on kaftan wearing time, I’ll be ready and experienced at walking leisurely with my kaftan blowing in the wind behind me and bangles jingling. .

      2. Haha. I really like to watch anything from ABC Family at night before I go to bed. It ensures that I won’t have any bad thoughts and will get to sleep quickly :)

    11. I sent a request to your website if you want to do more vicarious shopping. I love the earrings you put on there. I am also always looking for “workhorse” earrings so I might end up buying some.

      This website not be for every woman that reads this site but I LOVE TheChive. You can pick and choose which posts are for you. There are some I skip over and others I don’t miss.

      Feel better!

    12. NextIssue is a good way to catch up on magazines when you get tired of tv. Not sure if it is just ipad based though.

    13. Friday Night Lights, Mad Men, MI-5, The West Wing, The Good Wife is now on Amazon Prime, most anything by Ken Burns, Parenthood.

      Best wishes for feeling better and out of the hospital. xoxo

      1. Totally obsessed with MI-5.

        My Netflix has a whole category for me called British crime dramas. Also love Sherlock, Prime Suspect, Inspector Morse, Inspector Lewis, Luther, that new one about the code breaking ladies after WWII, etc.

    14. Hope you aren’t in for long!

      I’m strangely drawn to Pretty Little Liars on Netflix. I’m probably double or triple the age of the target audience, but sometimes you need something silly to watch!

    16. I got hooked on Deadwood when I had the swine flu a few years ago. I like the darker dramas – The Wire, Breaking Bad, Dexter, etc.

      True Blood is very sexy.

    17. I think closetvisit.com is a really fun site. I love seeing the wardrobes of all the glamorous women they feature!

    18. I love “Once Upon a Time.” Big fairytale fun.

      Also anything with Gordon Ramsay — “Hell’s Kitchen,” “Kitchen Nightmares,” “Hotel Hell,” whatever else he has going on. Love the swearing and indignation!

    19. Scandal and Once Upon a Time are my favorites, and I watch Castle pretty regularly in part because I keep hoping it will turn into Firefly. Have you seen Battlestar yet? I also hate to suggest this publicly, but… Xena? Fits in with the Buffy/Alias/Nikita b!tches get sh!t done genre that we like.

      1. And I assume that since Idris Elba is your boyfriend, you’ve seen Luther already. And Sherlock because duh.

      2. OK, I loved Xena back in the day. And Hercules. Sigh.

        Yes, Sherlock, for oh so many reasons.

      3. OK, I loved Xena back in the day. And Hercules. Sigh.

        Yes, Sherlock, for oh so many reasons.

    20. Dance Academy is available on Netflix. It’s like Center Stage, but as a tv show set in an Australian ballet school.

      1. Center Stage is one of the five or so movies that I *must* watch whenever it is on tv no matter what….this sounds very very appealing. VERY! :-)

        1. I just watched a Russian movie (narrated in English, but was in Foreign films category on AppleTV) called “Ballerina.” It was awesome–true story of Kirov ballerinas moving from the academy to the corps and onward. I loved it. MOstly because my hopes of ever being a ballerina are nil, but I am still sticking to my fantasy of becoming a ballerina, hatched when I was about four years old.

    21. Call the Midwife! It’s available on Netflix, Hulu Plus, the PBS website, and probably a bunch of other legally grey-area streaming websites. I don’t think it requires much thought, but it is an absolutely fascinating show. Dark at times, but there’s enough humor and happy moments to keep it from spinning out of control.

        1. Oh yes, it’s great! A very happy show with kind of an innocent 50s vibe, despite the darker social commentary.

    22. Don’t judge me – Gossip Girl has become my new favorite guilty pleasure.

    23. I’m madly in love with Switched at Birth right now, and keep on hoping my husband will go out with his guys friends so I can cuddle up with a blanket and watch it. I think it’s a really good show- not just guilty pleasure television, and it deals really honestly with gender, class, race, dis/ability issues.

      In the more guilty pleasure territory- Suburgatory, Bunheads, and the New Normal are all fun, sweet shows.

      My husband and I are on the second episode of Slings and Arrows on Netflix and so far really enjoying it (skull humor!) but I haven’t seen enough to have a really strong opinion.

    25. Feel better and go home soon! No TV suggestions. Recommend crossword or Sudoku puzzles unless they make you crazy, in which case by all means ignore this suggestion.

    26. Episodes (absolutely hilarious), House of Cards, House of Lies, Shameless (pretty dark), the Newsroom

  2. Does anyone have experience with selling a house with pets, specifically cats? We have 3. When there is a showing, I think I’ll just have to pack them up in the car and drive around for a while.

    We are doing the deep cleaning, de-cluttering and all food bowls, toys, litter boxes will be put away. Just not sure what to do with the animals.

    1. We are trying to do this right now, and it is not fun. We have three dogs.

      We either send the dogs to daycare on the days there will be showings or we put them in their kennels in the detached garage.

      If you have a job, it might be difficult to drive around with the cats, if your showings are anything like ours. Sometimes our realtor will call about people who want to see the house in the next hour.

      We have looked at a few houses with cats that the owners just allow to walk around. I would not recommend this course of action because I am allergic to cats and always afraid that they’re going to touch me and because, in one house, the cat coughed up a fur ball presumably after the owners left that morning. That was really gross. And I’d be afraid that my kitty would escape accidentally.

      Our dogs are generally healthy dogs, but somehow they have all gotten very sick on the carpet (from both directions) since we put our house on the market a couple of months ago. I feel like we’re in a constant state of trying to keep the carpet clean and wondering whether our house smells like dogs.

      1. I really don’t want to leave the cats in the house. For allergy and kitty escape reasons you mentioned. We’ll hopefully get our house listed in the next week, so I’m not sure how showings will go.

        We do have these outdoor enclosures that we use for them to sit out in the backyard. One of our neighbors has a fenced yard and maybe I can ask her if we could borrow their yard to set up the cats outside for a while (weather permitting).

        Good luck with your house selling!

        1. Cats can get under fences really easily! Be careful with that. Could you put them in the basement with all of their stuff? We just left our cat in the house and had the dog go to a neighbors house. If someone is that allergic, they aren’t going to want to buy our house anyway. No amount of vacuuming will permanently remove that a cat resided there.

          My realtor told me a hysterical story about one of her first showings. She brought a couple upstairs (as the buyer’s realtor) and there was a room that had one of those half door things with the bottom half closed and the top open. Inside was a room filled with sand and kiddy pools of water with a full sized ALLIGATOR inside. No warnings before hand. She said she just calmly said “and here is the alligator’s room” and then a second later it clicked and she totally freaked out.

          1. ALLIGATORS AND CROCODILES ARE MY BIGGEST FEAR IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          2. “And here is the alligator’s room” just. made. my. day. Thanks, Blonde Lawyer!

          3. Totally giggling like an idiot over here at “and here is the alligator’s room”. Especially since I have a friend that did this for his pet turtles – except at least it was just his closet, not a whole room. My co-workers probably are wondering why I’m sitting at my desk covering my mouth with an occasional snort coming out. Its obviously time for me to go home before I totally lose it!

          4. Has anyone else seen the Happiest Millionnaire? You know, with the pet alligators in the conservatory? Great movie…

          5. That is hilarious! A good friend of mine is a realtor, so I think I’m going to send this to her. :) We’re in FL, so gators in the yard happen occasionally if you live near water, but a gator in the HOUSE??? People are nuts.

          6. What’s worse, this was in New England where we aren’t even supposed to have ‘gators.

          7. Gators and crocs aren’t my _biggest phobia_ but they run a close second. Still, it could have been worse. The room could have been labelled “Alligator’s room” but with the alligator missing, ha ha. I would have set a new speed record getting out of that house.

    2. We removed our dogs from the house for showings. Have your agent put in the listing notes that showings are by appointment only and that you need x hours notice. Most buyers understand that the house aren’t ready to show 24/7, people have pets, etc.
      If you can limit the cats to a few rooms while you are on the market, that will help keep hair and messes to a minimum.

    3. Our house has been on the market for some time now, and we have two cats. When we first put it on the market and had lots of open houses, showings and agent caravants, we shipped the cats off to grandma’s house for a couple of weeks. Now, though, our showing are less frequent and we just leave the cats there. There may have been some potential buyers who were turned off by them, but with both my husband and me working, we really haven’t had any other choice. We did move their litter boxes to the basement in a corner and bought some better looking bowls for their food and water, and we put away the cat toys and scratching post when we know we’re having a showing, but that’s it. Perhaps we’re lucky that our cats aren’t likely to bolt when someone opens the door and they’re not likely to rub up against any strangers. I was worried about the issue before we put the house on the market, but it really hasn’t been a big deal.

    4. We’ve had our house on the market for a while now with 2 cats and it hasn’t been a problem. In the beginning when there were lots of open houses, agent caravans and showings, we shipped them off to grandma’s for a couple of weeks. Now, though, we just leave them there. Both my husband and I work and there’s no other option. Perhaps we’re pretty lucky because (1) they aren’t prone to bolt when someone opens the door, (2) they have no interest in touching someone they don’t know, and (3) any hairballs arrive overnight, when we have time to clean them up. Of course, we did have to move their litterboxes to the basement in a corner and we do remove all their toys and scratching posts when we know we’re having a showing. But the cats themselves stay. Hasn’t been a problem, as far as I know.

    5. I recently sold a house with a dog and a cat in it. Because I was at work all day and because my showings all tended to be last minute, the best I was able to do was leave the dog in the backyard (who most likely barked loudly at every single person who came in the house) and my cat in the house (though the cat probably just hid in the empty loft while people were in the house). I didn’t have a single complaint from agents or potential buyers and my house sold relatively quickly.

      While selling my house I was also visiting new houses to buy and I visited a number that had pets inside, both dogs and cats. Some closed off a room with the animals (and a warning) inside, others crated the animals, and some just let the cats roam free (I never saw a loose dog, though). The presence of animals wouldn’t have prevented me from buying the right house and, like someone else posted, anyone who’s allergic to cats probably wouldn’t be able to live in the house afterward. Also, most states require a seller’s disclosure to list if pets lived in the house, so hiding it doesn’t seem necessary.

      If you’re worried about the cats escaping, perhaps crate them?

  3. I need some honeymoon advice. We are thinking of doing 7-10 days in Hawaii. People who have been there, is that a reasonable amount of time to stay coming from the east coast? What are the best islands to visit if you want to do cultural things in addition to beach-y things? What are most interesting cultural things to do/see? Is it easy to get from one island to another such that spending a few nights on one and a few nights on another would be feasible? Are there any good books on Hawaii you can recommend? (extra points for narrative nonfiction or historical fiction). Thanks in advance!

    1. I don’t mean this to sound snarky, so please don’t read it to be. Why are you thinking of going to Hawaii if you’re on the east coast? Why not go to one of the islands closer to you?

      1. I don’t really understand your question or its relevance, but here is the answer: Because it’s a part of our country I’ve never seen. Because it has a unique history and culture I’d like to learn about and experience. Because I’ve never been to an island in the pacific. Because I’ve heard it has tremendous natural beauty. Because I can go to the Caribbean on a long weekend, so I’d like to take advantage of a long trip to somewhere farther away. Because why not? Just because I’m on the east coast I should never leave the east coast? That makes no sense to me. That’s like saying, “Why visit Yellowstone when you could just go to Shenandoah?” They are different.

        1. I have no advice for you, but I am from the east coast, too, and would love to go to Hawaii. I think honeymoon trips tend to be able to be more extravagant and longer, so I don’t blame you for using this trip to go to Hawaii!

          1. Ditto. We live on the east coast and ended up bailing on our honeymoon to Hawaii because I started a new job the week I got married (thus enabling me to leave the job from hell) but we were planning on going to Kauai and Maui for 9 days specifically because it was our honeymoon and when else do you have an excuse for an extravagant vacation like that?

            (We plan to take that honeymoon to Hawaii eventually).

          2. +1 A honeymoon is the perfect chance to take a vacation to a place that’s hard to get to for you. At many jobs, its one of the only times that taking a 2-week vacation is acceptable. If I was on the east coast, I would definitely not want to honeymoon in the Caribbean or someplace that is pretty easy to do in a 4-day weekend. And I agree with others that Hawaii’s beauty and activities are incredibly unique and it is so much more than just a pretty white sand beach with turquoise water.

        2. I think you took hoola’s comment as more offensive than she intended it. I think her point was simply that, like you said, it’s more convenient to get to an island on the east coast. If you just wanted an island vacation, one of those might be a better option. In your case, however, you’re interested in visiting Hawaii and not just some tropical island, so obviously an island closer to you wouldn’t work.

        3. Completely agree – and this sounds so fabulous!! We are in a similar situation and using this longer-than-usual vacation to allow for extra travel time!

      2. Speaking as someone from the East Coast who honeymooned to Hawaii – I can give two reasons. (1) A trip to Hawaii from the East Coast requires a fairly substantial time commitment – and there are not that many times that most Americans have excuses to take full 10 day vacations – honeymoons are often the only option. (2) Many of the islands in the Caribbean, while lovely, are quite a bit smaller than the Hawaiian islands and thus are not as exciting for a longer vacation if you aren’t a hang out on the beach the whole time kind of vacationer – so I much preferred Hawaii.

        And finally – (3) – why are you questioning where someone wants to go on their vacation? Especially when the place is Hawaii! (I feel like that one is fairly self-explanatory.)

        2. I will add – I am in the opposite situation. I am getting married and we are honeymooning locally (like within an hour of where we live), mainly for financial reasons, and everyone keeps questioning it/commenting on how “sad” it is! I’m soooo tired of it. It’s annoying when people question your choices, period.

          1. My husband and I took a stay-cation for our recent honeymoon. We each took a week off work and just stayed home. It was the best honeymoon ever. We had leftover beer and food from our self-catered wedding, so we just chilled. No chores, no projects. Just relaxing and being together.

            Sure, there was no beach. But who really cares about what’s outside your bedroom on your honeymoon anyway? ;)

            Sure, there were people who judged and said it was sad (more to him than me). But we didn’t care. You’ll get used to everyone judging your decisions as you move forward in wedding planning, and you will get over it. (Hint: Apparently it only gets worse when you have kids.) Do what’s best for you.

          2. Ours was a week at a cabin in the mountains, off-season, gifted by my husband’s mom. Driving distance away and we managed to cover groceries & gas. I’ve had people judge too, so I feel you.

          3. Thanks, ladies! We just moved to a new city, where I started a new job and the wedding is in 8 weeks. I think my (all male) coworkers don’t mean to be in any way insulting and I’m probably overly sensitive. I negotiated the time off as part of my new position so I’ve convinced SO that we should take an entire week off, even if it just means hanging out at home, because another guilt-free vacation will be hard to come by. We plan to go to a beach that is 40 minutes south from us, where we’ve never been, do some deep sea fishing (I’ll admit, I have no idea what i’m in for here, but it sounds fun!), and splurge on good food. I just need to come up with a good come back when people comment on it. :)

      3. King Kong not mean be snarky but why you care? Is your honeymoon? King Kong not think so.

      4. Because hawaii is a GREAT vacation spot.

        I grew up there and now work in nyc, so I miss it, but many people tell me they love going.

        Also, after having visited these so called “nice” beach destinations closer to the east coast (Punta Cana, Cancun), it is NOTHING compared to what you get in Hawaii (natural beauty, natural hiking, safety, cultural opportunities, non-resort food, etc).

        TIPS:
        If you can handle 10 hours on a plane/sleep on a plane, take direct flights out of JFK or EWR.

        If you have claustrophobia, get thee a different route.

        Oahu/ Honolulu has the most cultural “to do things.” You can get a flavor of the local life, but the only hotels are in Waikiki, apparently (I never thought about it growing up, but it’s some law they are thinking about changing). There are some B&B and unofficial vacation spots out in Kailua (You MUST visit Cinnamon’s in Kailua–guava chiffon pancakes, oh, and Kailua/Lanikai beaches). You can visit pearl harbor/USS Missouri. There is also a Polynesian Cultural Center, to get a quick taste of Polynesia.

        Maui and Kaui, Big Island are quieter.

        On Maui, you have the resorts, and lahaina… you can also do the road to Hana (lots of hikes, beaches, etc). Be sure to pack some food for the road. On Maui, be sure to eat at Paia Fish Market and Halemaile General Store (SUCH GOOD FOOD). You can visit the lavendar farm, Haleakala, a winery, etc.

        Big Island has an active volcano.
        Kaui has tons of hiking and kayaking.

        You can golf on every island.

        I think the history book required in high school was “Shoal of Time”

        1. sorry but your assertion that Cancun has no cultural opportunities, good food, or natural beauty is really off. maybe you didn’t get outside your resort, but Cancun and the Yucatan in general has all of those things in abundance.

          1. The natural beauty of the Caribbean and Mexico does not compare to Hawaii though. Not saying it isn’t nice but Hawaii is a different level.

        2. Second the recommendation of Paia Fish Market. During our 10-days on Maui, I think we ate there about 7 times. It is amazing!

    2. We honeymooned in Hawaii in 2008, from Atlanta. I would recommend staying on just 1 island if you’re there for a week, but you can do two islands in 7-10 days. If you’ve never been to Hawaii, go to Oahu, since Pearl Harbor is a must-see. If you don’t care to see Pearl Harbor, then go to the Big Island. Stay on the sunny side and visit the rainy side. Maui is lovely too. I haven’t been to the other islands. Read Molokai by Brennert, historical fiction about a leper colony.

    3. I think that 10 days is a good amount of time. If possible I recommend splitting your time between two islands so you can see how different they are. My absolute favorite is the Big Island. Kauai and Maui are amazing and unique as well. My only book recommendation is a travel guide – get a copy of the Hawaii Revealed books (they have them for each island). Even after going to Hawaii many times this is still our vacation “bible” to find both popular and lesser known places. Beaches, waterfalls, cultural landmarks, restaurants – the authors have pretty much done everything and give their honest reviews. There are some really wonderful national parks for preserved historical sites. The Place of Refuge on the Big Island is my favorite.

      1. Second the Hawaii Revealed books. This was our itinerary when we went about 10 years ago.

        2 nights in Oahu – we stayed in downtown Honolulu
        4 nights in Kauai – we stayed in the Poipu aread. I believe the place was the Outrigger Kiahuna
        5 nights in Maui – we got the 5th night free. I don’t remember the hotel name but it was in the Na Pili area.

        I would love to go back and visit the North Shore, Big Island and see Kauai again.

        Hawaii is amazing, and I highly reccomend it as a vacation spot if you are able to manage it.

    4. My boyfriend and I just got back from a week in HI (we live in Boston). We stayed with a friend of mine who lives in Waikiki on Oahu. I kind of agree with hoola; it may be a better idea to go to an island on this side. The flight is long and, if it weren’t for having free room & board, we wouldn’t have made the trip. It was, however, a great trip and if you’re up for the full day of travel, I’d highly recommend it.
      We didn’t island hop so I can’t speak to the others, but if you want a lot to do, Oahu seems like the best option. While ti was a pretty touristy location, the beaches were lovely and it’s very easy to get around. If you have more questions, let me know.

    5. We went to Hawaii for 7 days for our honeymoon from the east coast in 2011. We went to the Big Island and Maui – we were personally much bigger fans of the Big Island than Maui because it was quieter, less touristy, and more rural/country.

      We stayed at a place called Puakea Ranch near the small town of Hawi – where you can rent a small studio type cabin that has its own hot tub and a view of the sun setting over the water – it was BEAUTIFUL. Seriously, best decision of our honeymoon. Its a working, organic ranch as well – so its quite lovely (though it IS a bit of a drive from all the activities – but we were okay with that.)

      On Maui – we rented a condo near Kaanapali Beach – it was much more densely populated and touristy than the Big Island – but there were also many more restaurants and stuff than on the Big Island. (The Pineapple Grill on the Ritz’s property – which also has a great beach and great snorkeling is amazing and has the best pineapple upside down cake I’ve ever had.) Also the drive to Hana is amazing – and we did the back half as well which was an adventure…but not for the meek of heart (and probably waives your rental agreement with your car rental.)

      I love them both. But if I went back I’d also want to try Kuai. Again, because I’m into more quieter vacation places. :-)

      2. question re: the big island. had had originally been on our itinerary for the reasons you mention (quiet, beautiful, good beaches), but were concerned about the “vog” that we had heard about. how prevalent is it? is there a particular time of year that it is worse? does it really affect your ability to be outside and do stuff?

        1. I went to the Big Island in January and loved it. It was so laid back and there is so much to see and do! The vog doesn’t really affect most of the island (including the Kona area) from what I could tell – the only time when we really noticed it was when we actually went to Volcanoes National Park (highly recommended, by the way), and we were only there for a couple of hours and found it didn’t really bother any of us.

        2. We had zero vog issues (but where we stayed near Hawi is also on the opposite side of the island from the volcano – so I think its fairly safe from those issues to begin with.)

          I LOVED the big island – cannot emphasize enough how much I loved it. It had the best drives, the best beach, and it was just beautiful. I dream of going back there all.the.time. Love.

    6. I would not try to do more than two islands in that amount of time, unless you always want to feel like you’re on the go. My personal favorite is the Big Island, because it feels less touristy than the others. Kauai and Maui are wonderful as well. I am not as big a fan of Oahu, although Pearl Harbor is certainly worth a visit (might not be the best honeymoon activity though). My favorite Hawaii guidebooks are Hawaii Revealed series (Maui Revealed, Big Island Revealed, etc), with the caveat that I haven’t been impressed by their restaurant recs (use Yelp).

      1. We checked out Pearl Harbor during the layover between our flight between Maui and back to the mainland (we also visited my cousin who lives in Oahu) – I thought frankly that was plenty of time on Oahu…though that might be not giving it enough credit. Pearl Harbor is a really informative and moving place – I don’t think honeymoons have to be all happy all the time, well worth the stopover if you have the time.

        1. I agree that of the main four islands, Oahu is my least favorite. Nothing against it, I just think the others are so incredibly amazing! My ranking in order of preference is the Big Island, Kauai, Maui, and then Oahu. It all depends on what you are into. There are great beaches on all the islands but I really love experiencing all the different climates/geography/vegetation on the less crowded islands. For me, seeing an active volcano was fascinating and truly a once in a lifetime opportunity.

    7. We live in Ohio and have been to Hawaii twice. The first time we had a flight from Columbus to St Paul. Then From St. Paul directly to Honolulu. The second time we flew from Columbus to Phoenix and then directly from Phoenix to Maui.

      It’s nice if you can find a flight with just one connection. The second leg of the journey is long, but worth it. I think it was around 8 hrs from St. Paul. Also, it’s about a 5-6 hour time difference, so getting up early to enjoy the sights is not a big deal.

      I remember the flight back being a bit rough b/c it was night time and the time difference caused a bit of jet lag.

    8. I highly suggest Kauai – way less tourist-y than Oahu and Maui. Although seeing Pearl Harbor is a great historical experience – I love flying into Honolulu and seeing Pearl Harbor from the air.

      I’m an East Coast-er and have done Hawaii in one week – not ideal – but it can happen. So I would suggest the longer side of 10 days.

      And ditto on the suggestion of limiting yourself two islands. You don’t want to be schlepping across the islands.

    9. We just booked our honeymoon for hawaii (this september). We are coming from the west coast, but picked hawaii because (1) neither of us had ever been there, (2) lower risks of hurricanes that time of year, (3) easy flight. We are going for 11 days and spending 6 on kauai and 5 on maui. I have heard that Kauai is smaller, quieter, and very lush/tropical with lots of snorkeling, hiking, etc. Maui is supposed to be a bit more active, with a bit more to do, which we figured would be good for the second part of our trip. I’d love to see Pearl Harbor but we are strenuously trying to avoid the majorly touristy areas, at least for the honeymoon. TripAdvisor has lots of good reviews and pictures on hotels and places to stay.

      1. There are very touristy areas of Maui, and there are some wonderful more rural areas. We actually stayed the night in Hana, and if I went back, I’d want to stay there the entire time. It was so relaxing. We rented a cottage and had banana trees over our deck, and ate all meals outside.

        Highly recommend the Revealed books.

    11. Thank you so much, everyone! It sounds like if we can swing it with work, 10 or maybe even 12 days is the way to go, splitting between the Big Island and Maui or Kauai. I now have some great jumping off places for my research, so thank you for all your input.

      1. In terms of research – just go to Sunset Magazine’s website. Their internal search feature is not so great, but if you search “Sunset Magazine” and the island in question on the goog, lots of stuff will come up. In the past year they have done special features on Maui and also the “Secret Guide to Hawaii” or something like that. Also, Conde Nast Traveler did an amazing guide to the islands within the past year, so check that out. It’s one of their Insider Guides. Finally, Budget Traveller does Hawaii features often. (Can you tell I subscribe to a lot of travel magazines. Geesh.)

        1. Ditto the suggestions for travel mags’ takes on the different Hawaiian islands. Also, the “Revealed” books for each island are great EXCEPT for food/restaurant recs, as someone else pointed out.

          If you go to Maui, and you all are at all foodies, eat at Merriman’s (Kapalua/Ritz area) and Star Noodle (Lahaina). We thought both were far better than Mama’s Fish House and Banyan Tree at the Ritz. Haven’t been to Hali’imaile General Store yet.

          Grand Hyatt Kauai is stunning. The power raft trip up the Na Pali coast was a ton of fun.

          If you think you might want to do a few days on Oahu, check out the beach cottages at Turtle Bay on the North Shore (far, far from Waikiki). We stayed in one for our “minimoon” and it was pure bliss falling asleep to the sound of the waves breaking on shore all night. (Two other lovely hotels on Oahu not near Waikiki — the Kahala and the Ihilani.) Also — if you want to go the more local route — check out the beach cottage rentals just off Waimanalo Beach, which is on the windward — Kailua — side. We have rented through Nalo Winds (run it together and add dot com) several times and been very happy with them.

          Finally, still haven’t been, but it’s on my life list — staying at the Four Seasons Hualalai on the Big Island. Very pricey, but everyone I know who has gone says it’s worth it!

          1. Oh, and historical fiction — the classic is James Michener’s “Hawaii”! I haven’t read it. :)
            For lighter inspiration — “Blue Crush” and “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.”

  4. I’m celebrating a milestone birthday this year, and my SO and I are heading to Vegas over Labor Day weekend. I’ve been to Vegas for business (conferences) before, and the SO has never gone. Any rec’s about where to stay,what to see, etc.? TYIA

    1. I quite liked the Mirage but think next time I’ll try either the Mandalay or the Bellagio. Once you book sign up for the members cards, then whenever you do stuff you get points.

      I have high/low food recs – Bouchon at the Venetian is awesome, esp. for breakfast which makes it a bit more reasonable. Then there is a tacos place called Tacos El Gordo which is across the street from the Wynn which makes amazing tacos, and serves Mexican sodas, for like $4.

      1. Glad to hear you liked the Mirage! DH & I are going to stay there in Nov to celebrate a milestone birthday for him, and the only time either of us have been to Vegas was when dh went on a band trip in high school. All he remembers is the buffets!

      2. I have stayed at the Mandalay Bay and would not recommend it, simply because of its location at one end of the strip. It required a lot of walking to get to the other casinos and cabs were not always easy to find, especially at night. On subsequent trips, I stayed in the middle of the strip, Bellagio and Paris and both were great. If you however plan to staying in/around your hotel then the Mandalay Bay is nice – quieter than the other casinos

    2. We had a really nice stay at the MGM Grand but it was more family friendly and might not be the best for a getaway with your SO. The only other Vegas hotel I’ve stayed at was Caesar’s Palace, which I thought was overpriced and not significantly better than the MGM Grand for at least twice the money. Next time I go I think I’d like to stay at one of the smoke free hotels like the Vdara. I’m very sensitive to cigarette smoke and if you are too, you might want to consider it. The casino-resorts that allow smoking are all very smokey and even if you get a nonsmoking room, the hotel will still reek of smoke.

      +1 on Bouchon (I’ve been to the Yountville location not the Vegas one, but its great). Jean Phillipe is great (pricey) crepes and pastries. Earl of Sandwich is a great sandwich place that’s a very cheap meal for Vegas. The champagne brunch at the Flamingo was affordable and was significantly better than the average Vegas buffet.

    3. I think the Encore/Wynn compound is the best place to stay in Vegas. The pool areas at both hotels are great, and there are a lot of nice restaurants, shopping, and clubs/lounges within both hotels. I haven’t been to many shows out there, but I did enjoy “O” at the Bellagio; it has an aquatic component which was pretty cool. Have fun!

      2. I stayed at the Wynn for one night and it was AMAZING. It is north of the main part of the strip though so it’s a hike to some of the other casinos. The other nights we stayed closer to the main area and right off the tram system, which I’m not sure is used that much but it worked for us to get a pass. And ‘O’ is phenomenal! Also, wear comfortable shoes. You’ll walk a mile just strolling through one casino/resort!

        1. I’ve stayed at the Hard Rock, Mirage, MGM, NYNY, Encore at the Wynn, and Mandalay Bay.

          The Encore was by far my favorite. We don’t take kids to vegas and I don’t really love large numbers of other people’s kids at the pool, etc. We had the best experience at the Encore. And the room was the nicest. I have never stayed at Bellagio, though, it is definitely on my list to try.

    4. We just went to Vegas in August and we were surprised by how much we loved it (it was originally a “we should go to Vegas before we have kids trip”. It was such a fun and relaxing trip. I recommend staying at Ceasars (that is where we stayed and had a great experience), or at the Bellagio. Being in the middle of the strip is key becasue it is easy to walk to either end and you are in the center of the action. Ceasars was really affordable, but our room was nicer than the price, we had a beautiful view of the mountains, the spa/gym were amazing and the pool was just fabulous! Bellagio is right next door to Ceasars – we spent a lot of time walking around/dining in the Bellag. so I would easily stay there if I went back.

      Other things we did that we loved: we rented a convertable and drove to the grand canyon’s south rim. A once in a lifetime experience – we had so much fun – I want everyone to try it once in their lifetime. Also, we saw Absynthe. It was a great show – a little bit of everything in a small theatre. It was great! We ate at so many different restaurants I cannot even remember them all – but each was amazing in its own way (except the pool bar/food – way too expensive not really good). We loved the dueling piano bar at Paris – it was a fun and relaxing night after our long drive to/from The GC. Also the buffet at Cosmopolitan was pretty amazing.

    5. Picasso at the Bellagio is wonderful, especially if you can sit out on the terrace to see the fountains. I’m not sure how the weather will be over Labor Day, but in March it was a perfect evening.

      The Pinball Hall of Fame (http://www.pinballmuseum.org/) was a lot of fun. Neither of us are arcade enthusiasts but the collection is really pretty amazing–they have all kinds of coin-operated games, not just pinball, with some dating back a century. One afternoon we spent two hours and maybe $30 in there, and it was a highlight of our trip. We got slurpees next door at the 7 Eleven afterward–we felt like a couple of kids on summer vacation! It was nice just to get off the strip for a bit, too.

    6. You’ve gotten some great responses already, and in particular I’d like to echo the advice re staying in the middle of the Strip. However, I’d like to suggest a hotel called the Vdara, which many people haven’t heard of. It’s on the Strip, but is right behind the Aria (part of the same complex, but an entirely separate hotel). It is new, has a great pool, and doesn’t have a casino so it is nice and quiet, but it is close to everything, and is way less expensive than many other hotels because it doesn’t have all the overhead associated with a massive casino complex. If you aren’t planning on doing much in your hotel other than sleeping or hanging out at the pool, I highly recommend it.

      1. You’re the second person to recommend Vdara! I would go for that, since it is getting such rave reviews.

        There is also a steak place near the strip called “Del Frisco’s Double Eagle Steak House.” It was really great!

    7. My favorite bar is called Red Square and its at Mandalay Bay. Delicious vodka drinks.

      I always love to see the fountains at the Bellagio. Also, the casinos have the electronic ticket things on the slot machines, which I think takes away from the fun of seeing coins spit out of the machine. The last time I was there, there was an old casino at Circus Circus that still used coins.

    8. We had a really nice stay at the MGM Grand but it was more family friendly and might not be the best for a getaway with your SO. The only other Vegas hotel I’ve stayed at was Caesar’s Palace, which I thought was overpriced and not significantly better than the MGM Grand for at least twice the money. Next time I go I think I’d like to stay at one of the smoke free hotels like the Vdara. I’m very sensitive to cigar e t t e smoke and if you are too, you might want to consider it. The casino-resorts that allow smoking are all very smokey and even if you get a nonsmoking room, the hotel will still reek of smoke.

      +1 on Bouchon (I’ve been to the Yountville location not the Vegas one, but its great). Jean Phillipe is great (pricey) crepes and pastries. Earl of Sandwich is a great sandwich place that’s a very cheap meal for Vegas. The champagne brunch at the Flamingo was affordable and was significantly better than the average Vegas buffet. If you are into food, I wouldn’t plan to do much in the way of buffets. The quality is pretty terrible, even at the so-called high-end ones like the Bellagio and Wynn.

      1. The breakfast buffet at the Monte Carlo was great when I was there. I really didn’t like the one at the Paris and I’ve heard friends say the same after other trips.

      2. I’m pretty picky about buffets and am serious about my food in general, but to be honest, I actually really like the buffet at Planet Hollywood. I’ve been there a couple of times now and find the quality and selection quite good. I think that these days the hotels can’t afford to have really bad buffets because word gets around so easily on the Internet.

        I haven’t tried the buffet at the Cosmopolitan (called the Wicked Spoon) but it is supposed to be good.

  5. I am hosting a backyard wedding shower in a few weeks from 10-12 in the morning. We are doing bite-size foods (since its outdoors/casual trying to avoid anything that absolutely requires silverware). So far we’ve got deviled eggs and fruit kabobs on the list but wanted the hive’s wisdom on any other bite-size goodies they’ve made or eaten at showers.

      1. Yeah, you can get mini quiches at Sam’s – or Whole Foods if you’re looking for something vegetarian. I also did grape leaves. At another shower, I did barbecued beef mini sandwiches (on small rolls).

    2. Since it’s a brunch ish time frame you could do bagels with cream cheese and a smoked salmon platter, mini quiches / mini muffins, you could also go fancy and do like a gougeres (or better yet, gougeres stuffed with crab meat…)

    3. Caprese salad kabobs (cherry/grape tomato, mini mozzerella ball, basil leaf)

      Little tea sandwiches

      Chicken salad served in puff pastry cups

      Baked spanakopita triangles

      1. Second the little mini tea sandwiches. I threw a shower for a friend not too long ago and we did little cucumber sandwiches and they were a big hit.

    4. Some kind of dip / spread / cheese on endive. Great finger food with a little elegance.
      I like it with white bean dip but in the morning maybe cheese is better?
      Or one of my faves is a slice of cucumber with a dollop of cream cheese (or Boursin or the like) with smoked salmon draped on top. Very pretty.

      1. Re dip/spread on endive: I make one with a blend of cream cheese and sour cream, chopped mango, chopped walnuts and ginger. Very yummy.

    5. I made mini chicken and waffles for a baby shower a few weeks ago. They were a huge hit, however know your audience.

    6. Ham on sweet potato biscuits, tiny roasted potatoes (served with toothpicks) and a dip (bleu cheese or French onion), crostini bar, cheese plate, prosciutto-wrapped and roasted asparagus, cheese straws, goat cheese pimento cheese and crackers/crudites, seconding LeChouette’s gougeres rec.

    7. Bacon wrapped dates or blue cheese stuffed dates. Caprese kabobs, mini grilled cheese, pigs in a blanket. Sliced baguettes toasted with pesto, chicken and cheese

      Also, highly recommend food network website. look for sandwiches and you can scale them down.

  6. These stores are new to me. Are they essentially the same or does one have better deals or better stock? Are they really overstock at discount or are they like ‘outlets’ that have a lower-quality version or off-brands? Any tricks or tips?

    1. IME, Ross is generally dirtier than TJ Maxx. It’s generally easier to find things in TJ Maxx. The items they sell are usually just overstock/items that didn’t sell as well as expected, but I have seen some damaged tags on items, so be aware of that. I think you have to frequent them fairly often if you’re looking for a specific item, but if you’re just looking to add something inexpensive to your wardrobe, it’s a good option.

    2. I agree that they’re great for when you’re shopping for general items such as “summer clothes” as opposed to a specific thing. They also are generally good for cheap photo frames, candles, household decoration-type stuff, etc.

      I’ve lived a few places and it seems to me like you have to visit them to know which is nicer because it varies by location. I used to live near two TJ Maxx stores, both of which were great, but the one I live near now is awful and I never bother going in there. I’ve also been to both nice and dirty Ross stores.

    3. In my area, TJ Maxx is consistently better, with bigger name brands, than Ross. I’ll agree that they are not great places to look for something specific; better for browsing and hoping to find a steal. That said, I’ve “tripped over” two fabulous, high-end bags at TJ Maxx at serious discounts, and purchased casual and some basic business casual clothes from both, mostly when I was “growing” out of my clothes and did not want to invest in the bigger size, but some of the pieces were great.

    4. I agree that Ross tends to be a little dirtier and more disorganized than TJ Maxx but I’ve gotten some great deals at both stores. I’m a sucker for Calvin Klein dresses and you can usually find them for under $50 at either store. I don’t go to Ross unless I have at least an hour to go through the racks where I can do TJ Maxx in a quick circuit.

    5. TJ Maxx is the same company as Winners in Canada, and if they are run in the same way, the location/neighbourhood the store is located in can have a big impact on the brands & styles stocked there. There is a Winners downtown in my city, just a few blocks from my office & surrounded by big office buildings. They are way more likely to have higher end brands & business type clothing than the Winners that is close to my house, way out in the suburbs, although it’s still a fairly well off area, so nice name brands but not as much business stuff. Another Winners I sometimes frequent is accross the mall from a fabric store I visit, and it’s in an older neighbourhood and the brands aren’t as high end.

      I try to buy all my hosiery and workout clothes at Winners – I can get some great deals. Also got an awesome deal on a suitcase recently – 1/3 the price compared to a luggage/bag store dh comparison shopped at.

      1. I find the opposite about Winners! I get the best business stuff at the Winners in towns in rural areas, and the worst in the financial district in Toronto! I think it’s because it gets snapped up too quickly downtown, but out of the way, you may be the only one looking for a suit.

  7. I ended a 6 year relationship today. I think it’s the right thing to do but have a nagging doubt I shouldn’t have. I know it’s not the end of the world. But for now I am sad and a little fearful that I am too old to find another SO and that I’m making a mistake. Would welcome any stories from those of you who’ve been through the end of a long term relationship and are in a better place for having parted ways.

    1. I stayed in a long term relationship primarily because I feared that I wouldn’t find anything better. As you’ve correctly realized already, that’s not a good reason to stay in a relationship. The relationship had major issues and while the guy was good on paper, he was not good to me. It’s scary to leave what’s known and working well enough. The first month after the breakup was hard, very hard. But then the fog lifted and I had a new lease on life. I refound myself and was happy for the first time in a long time. I also met a fabulous man who was much, much, much better and have the life I wanted.

    2. Congratulations. That is a very tough thing to do. If your nagging feeling is more about being alone or old or not where you thought you would be in life, then ignore it. Yes, it is hard to be alone, but it’s much more depressing to be in a relationship that isn’t working. My friends are on the first wave of divorces right now and it’s very sad, even with the ones that are amicable.

      I have ended a 6 year relationship and a 5 year relationship with great guys because it just wasn’t “right” and it was never going to be “right.” There was nothing really wrong in either relationship, I just wasn’t willing to have the same issues/fights for the next 40+ years of my life.

      I am now very happily married, albeit to the type of guy I never thought I would marry (no college education, previously married, has a kid). We just had the best weekend and we didn’t even do anything special (went to kids sporting events, had dinner with friends, went to dinner and a movie, cleaned the house, had brunch with his mom).

      1. Thanks for this. I think that is where I am right now. He’s pretty great to me and in general. Except that everything I ever bring up (other than food) gets turned into a statement on how Obama and the government is the root of all problems and evil; along with lawyers and women.

        I need to figure out how to say, you’re a great guy, but I don’t want to be with someone for whom this is an acceptable worldview.

        1. Are you trolling? honestly, how can someone who think women (not to mention the other stuff, but we will tackle women since you are one) are the root of all problems/evil? If you are being sincere than I’m sorry for your breakup(well sorry your hurting, not sorry for the breakup!) but honestly, that sentence is straight up ridiculous. Oh your awesome except for thinking that my gender is evil.

          1. Nope, not trolling. I feel incredibly stupid for not doing something about it earlier, I do.

            I first noticed when we were watching 24 together, when he would say things like “[the daughter] is so stupid and ruins everything.” At that point in the show, she really did. I thought it was the show.

            More and more though, I think it’s something else. As in, the choice to explain away and ignore what men/male characters do in a show that is stupid, but having to exclaim every time a woman/female character does.

            Your questioning it doesn’t make me feel better.

          2. I’m not sure if this has crossed your mind, but those comments have probably really beaten you down and worn you out. I hope you give your mind a break and some peace – nobody got time for that negativity! I hope you start to feel better soon and start to enjoy some of the things you’ve been missing out on.

          3. I had the last biggest fight with my ex-SO over Mitt Romney’s debate comment about “binder full of women”. He seriously thought it was just funny and no big deal, women get paid what they deserve. If women are paid less or promoted less it is because they are usually stupid and never really that good. I was so furious at his attitude even after 3 year long relationship where he knew very well I am pretty serious about my career and have big goals and aspirations. In hindsight, that was sorta of tipping point, things went downhill from there and we broke up before Christmas.

          4. I know that sometimes its easy to feel “stupid” in retrospect when you can look at a relationship with distance, but I can say with confidence that people put up with A LOT inside a relationship (especially a long term one) and they just don’t see the problems. Or they DO see the problems, but they think its worth the good times or that the risk of leaving isn’t worth it.

            Don’t worry about the time spent or “invested” – those are, as they say, sunk costs. Right now you can only worry about your life going forward – and it sounds like you will be oh so much happier if you leave now and start a fresh life, for now alone and eventually with someone who respects you and – you know – lots of the country’s population. So try to remember that when you start doubting – but its also okay to doubt. If you didn’t doubt, that would be really odd!

        2. You say it by breaking up with him. Assuming you handled that in a respectful manner, I don’t think further explanation is required (or even a good idea, really). I’m sorry for your loss.

        3. She’s not necessarily trolling. Either I used to date this guy, or his equally evil twin. He was so d—ed charming, attentive and sexy that I glossed over the women are trouble, lawyers are horrible, and liberals are the devil stuff as a joke. It wasn’t. I was on the receiving end of a threefold insult and eventually did dtmf, but you know, sometimes relationship decisions/indecision is not logical. Hats off to the OP for taking a stand for what’s best for herself in the long run. I married so late in life, for the first time, that my story may be not so inspiring, time-frame wise, but I’ll tell you this, Another break-up, when I met my now DH, here was No. Doubt. Whatsoever. about his place in my future. Be patient, keep being wise, and keep your eyes and your heart open.

        4. Honestly, sometimes I think not explaining in detail is best. In one of those relationships, he kept saying he could change, he could fix things, etc. and I did give him a few more chances which just wasted my time and made it tougher to finally cut things off for good. When I finally did cut them off for good, the message was “You are a good person and a great guy, but this just isn’t the right relationship for me and that’s not going to change.” He wanted specifics but I just stuck to “it’s not right for me.” They can’t really argue with that. And no, you do not “owe” him an explanation if he tries to pull that. And if he says something about this being “just like a woman” you just tell him you are sorry he feels that way.

    3. I have not been through it myself, but SO ended a nine year relationship at the age of 27. They quasi-got back together twice in the year after, but then cut it off for good. Two years later, he met me. Five years later, he’s now my fiance. What I extrapolate from that is that it’s normal to have doubts, but if you take the big step of breaking off something after that long, it’s probably because you have tried to make it work and have failed for a while, which is a sign that it’s not meant to be.

    5. I ended a similar length relationship in my mid-twenties. He was my best friend, the smartest person I’ve ever met, would have provided me with a very secure future, we had a ton of friends in common, his family treated me like one of their own and I felt like they were my family, too, and everything was just generally great. Except that he wasn’t the right guy for me and I knew it probably from the very start of our time together. It was honestly the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do (and I have had to do some hard things in my life) and I still feel guilty about it sometimes. But I saw him recently, some 6 1/2 years later, and we just wouldn’t have been right together. I still care deeply about him as a person but if I hadn’t left then, I would have still left eventually. And if I hadn’t left then, I probably wouldn’t be with my wonderful SO now, who never makes me wonder if I should leave or if he’s the right guy. Sometimes you need a little distance to realize that a difficult choice was the only choice that you could have made.

    6. Men are kind of like shoes. Sometimes you see a super cute pair that’s almost exactly what you’ve been looking for, but the sizing is just a little off. You try to convince yourself that you’ll make it work – just wear them for a while and you’ll get used to them, or get them stretched out, or put in some insoles – because that perfect pair is just. so. hard. to find. But they never quite feel right and they just cause blisters every time you wear them.

      Sometimes you just need to accept that if the fit isn’t right, it never will be. As long as you’re still struggling to make it work with what you have, you’ll never be open to finding something better. Besides, the next sale is always right around the corner.

        1. There is a great Shania Twain song called just this — men are like shoes –.

    7. This sounds like my area! Together 6 years, I took the bar in the state where he lived, thought we would get married, had almost every aspect of our future wedding mentally planned (Ring, dress, bridesmaid dresses, flowers, color scheme, honeymoon destinations…ok too much internet browsing) then he couldn’t commit and I’ve never been happier! Being single is so much better than being in a bad relationship!

    8. A couple months before my 30th birthday, I ended a five and a half year relationship with a guy I thought I was going to marry–he was my best friend and we were compatible in so many ways. He didn’t want to get married and after a year of waiting for him to change his mind, I ended it. There were times I doubted that I would be able to find someone else that I liked as much, but fast forward to a year and a half later, and I’m in a new relationship with a great guy who has qualities I didn’t even know I wanted. It is a different relationship for sure, but I am 100% sure that I would not have been happy if I had stayed with the ex and tried to make it work. My advice to you is to embrace your singledom–I used the time to explore new hobbies, reach out to friends I hadn’t seen in a while and focus on doing what I wanted, and it really was a great experience to establish myself as a single person after being a part of a couple for so long. Be strong!

  8. I am a HUGE fan of this Nordstrom belt. I have two from a few years ago – navy and black – and I wear them at least once a week. I love that the buckle is covered rather than silver or gold, which is hard to find. Just beware- you have to size up one size in this belt. But other than that, you can’t beat it for the price!

  9. I thought “shower foods” referred to food you eat in the shower. And now I want to know about food that you can eat in the shower. Discuss.

    2. Per HBO’s Girls, you candefinitely eat cupcakes in the bath.
      Personally, I think any food that is generally messy would be a good contender since you could rinse off as you’re eating it.

        1. put it on the ledge — like where you put your shampoo. didnt everyone do this in college?

          1. College is certainly where I learned this skill. Are you sure we weren’t all roommates? Somehow my husband got to his thirties before learning.

          2. I’m emailing all of my college friends to ask them whether they ever did this, and why I didn’t know it was a thing.

            I’m also trying it ASAP.

    4. Does wine in the bath count?

      Otherwise, the only other one I’ve heard of is shower beer, when I was in university still. I guess one could eat most utensil-free foods that are somewhat water resistant in the shower, like, apples?

      It just seems inefficient to me, why not focus on the task at hand and then eat?

    5. Not the shower, but in the tub: popcorn (the bowl floats) with a movie going on a laptop on a chair in the bathroom. And wine obvs. Heaven.

  10. Anyone have any cannot-be-missed restaurant recommendations for San Diego and Coronado? I am going there for a week for a conference. Already have a reservation at Seersucker. Been to The Prado already.

    Thanks!

    1. I can’t recall the name right now, but the upscale/fancier restaurant at the Hotel Del Coronado is really good (or at least it was when my BF and I went 2 years ago). Also, I love the breakfast at the Grande Colonial Hotel in downtown La Jolla (they have a killer homemade cinnamon roll).

    2. Blue Water Grill is phenomenal. I can’t for the life of me remember where it is, but it’s easily googleable. (My boyfriend’s a native, so when we visit his family I just sort of tag along.) It’s just fish, though, so if you don’t do seafood it won’t appeal to you. But if you don’t like seafood, oh man you’re missing out!

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