Workwear Hall of Fame: The Nudes

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

best-nude-pantyhoseIn every discussion we’ve had on this site about pantyhose, including polls on your favorite lingerie brands for work, one brand is repeated over and over again: The Nudes.  I mentioned it in my Nordstrom sale roundup for workwear yesterday, but it’s really deserving of a post in its own right.  It comes in regular and plus sizes, in seven different shades of “nude” — the brand has control top, toeless, sheer to waist, and “toner” hosiery, which apparently is somewhere between control top and sheer to waist.  A package is normally $20, but during the sale they’re marked to $14.90 — you can also get 3 packs for $39, bringing the price-per-package down to $13.  Nice.  Donna Karan ‘The Nudes’ Control Top Hosiery

Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected]

2016 Update: These have been such a hit over the years that they’re now in our Workwear Hall of Fame!



  1. Clementine :

    These are solid pantyhose- I frequently get them at Marshalls/TJMaxx for $6 a pair or less.

    I also get my Hanes Silky Sheer pantyhose there too. I’ve seen them on clearance for $3 a pair- I actually loaded up my cart with every pair in my size.

    • anon-oh-no :

      If you can get them for 6 bucks, its probably worth it. While these are lovely on, they run super easy. I rarely get more than 1 wear out of them.

  2. Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love Fruegel Friday’s and Donna Karan’s pantyhose! Peeople probably think I am Kat and Kat is me b/c we dress alot alike. I particularley love Donna’s Nude pantyhose, and that is what the manageing partner insist’s that I wear with my suit’s to court. Since the manageing partner has banned open toed shoes for me, there realy is ONLEY one for me — Sheer to Waist — b/c my dresses tend to get shorter in the Summer b/c it is so hot out and I can NOT wear sandal’s or open toe shoe’s.

    Rosa got a nice pair of Bierkenstock’s and I asked the manageing partner about wearing these in the summer, but he absolutely refused. I think he get’s sensitive when it come’s to women’s toes. Margie alway’s wear’s closed toe shoes except at their pool and on their boat. I am lookeing forward to goeing with Myrna later today to the Hamton’s. I hope the weather hold’s out for us. I wanted to go see the US Soccer Team downtown today, but I still have 12 hour’s to bill so I can leave by noon. FOOEY! Anyway, I will ONLEY have my iphone with me so I may NOT be abel to p’ost this afternoon. Have a great weekend, Kate and Kat and the HIVE! YAY!!

  3. ring sizing q :

    I just received my wedding rings in the mail- I love them, but they’re too small;I got sized by a professional jeweler at the size that I ordered, but not the jeweler I bought from. The jeweler can resize/exchange them, but I’m trying to figure out what size I need. How noticeable are the differences between 1/8, 1/4 and 1/2 sizes? My bigger ring has a non-standard shape; I can’t get it on in the morning and it’s tight the rest of the day. Is that worth a 1/4 size or 1/2 increase? My 2mm band is just more snug than I’d like, so I’m thinking of a 1/8 increase. Does anyone have any particular experience/ knowledge of ring sizing? I’ve literally never worn a ring before….

    • Anonymous :

      Can’t you try something on in the bigger size and see? Your jeweler, or any jeweler you can go see in person, should be able to help.

      • ring sizing q :

        The jewelers I’ve gone to don’t carry 1/4 sizes that I can try on, ad the next size up is way too big. Are there jewelers who have stuff in smaller increments, and if so how would I go about finding one?

        • The next full size up is too big? Or the next 1/2 size? I think standard steps are 1/2 sizes and then some jewelers will do 1/4 and 1/8 sizes, too.

          Call around to find a place with a wide variety you can try on.

          • ring sizing q :

            Sorry, the next 1/2 size is too big. The jeweler who made mine does 1/8 sizes, but is across the country. I haven’t found one around here who can size me at a smaller increment or try such things on. It’s also true that I’d have no idea where to find such a jeweler if not at the immediately obvious places

    • The bigger ring is definitely too small. With the other ring, keep in mind that you want your rings to fit snugly and not slide over the knuckle too easily.

    • You should definitely resize both rings. If the band is just a little snug, go up just a bit (1/8 is probably good) and see how it feels. You can size up a tad more later if needed. Same with the bigger ring. You should at least be able to get it on in the morning, although you likely don’t want it to be so easy to slip off in the late afternoon that it wobbles or slides off in the day (or in winter, when fingers tend to be less swollen). Again, ask the jeweler what he/she recommends, and start with small increments. You don’t want to go too big then have to go back down – but ask the jeweler who is going to do the work.

    • Since you have never worn a ring before it just kind of sounds like you don’t know what you’re talking about. Wear the rings for at least a week and chances are by then you will get used to it and not noticed them at all

    • If you go to a Birks or other major jeweler, they have sizing rings you can try – even if they don’t carry every ring in every size, you can at least see how each 1/4 size difference feels.

    • Where do you live? Commentators may be able to suggest jewelers…

    • That’s too small and you’ll hate them and never wear them if you don’t fix it. If the jeweler you bought from cant size up, take them to a local jeweler and they can do any size adjustment you need (1/4, 1/8 etc). That said, you can only resize certain styles, eternity styles can’t usually be and need to be exchanged, but a stone on a band can.

    • Not sure of the answer (as I’m dealing with a too-small wedding ring myself, and waiting for the weather to get a little cooler before resizing), but keep in mind that rings apparently become tighter as you stack them. So, you likely need a little bigger the more you wear together.

    • I would err on the side of getting them as large as possible without feeling like they are gong to fall off. I love wearing my rings daily, and even wore them while pregnant (but not during labor). Fingers will swell but rarely will your fingers get smaller. You can also ask your jeweler to add little balls on the inside of the ring to make them smaller (and you can remove the balls later).

    • Most jewelers won’t size less than half a size.

  4. Agree with Clementine. Love this line of pantyhose. When I see them in my color at Marshalls, I buy a bunch.

    Hive Hypo: your firm has a summer associate or intern with whom you’ve never worked, but you’ve heard from credible sources that his/her work product is quite bad. When s/he invites you to connect on LinkedIn, do you accept?

    • Wildkitten :

      Sure. LinkedIn isn’t an endorsement of someone’s work product, it’s an acknowledgement that you have a professional connection.

      • +1

      • This. It’s for expanding your network, that’s what this summer is trying to do. Now, if they ask you to do one of those silly recommendations or whatever they are called, you just ignore it.

    • No. If I haven’t had a conversation with you, I don’t connect with you on LinkedIn.

    • If I haven’t worked with them, I don’t connect on linked-in — whether they are rumored to be awesome or terrible.

      • Agreed. And even if I have worked with you, I may not connect with you on linked in if I don’t see the point (i.e., I don’t want or see the point in a business relationship with that person so why am I going to arbitrarily throw out a internet connection to them). Of course, I manage to get away with this because I have very few connections so most people probably think I’m not paying attention to my profile.

  5. I’m going to a black-tie optional wedding in about 6 weeks and I realized I have nothing fancy enough to wear. I’m petite and about a size 4. Any suggestions? I’d be happy with either a cocktail dress or a longer gown.

    I’d like to keep it under $300 if possible. And unfortunately Rent the Runway is not an option because they don’t deliver to Canada.

    Thanks ladies!

    • Do you want color? black? sleeveless? strapless?

      • I’m totally open to anything, except maybe not strapless because I’m small-chested and always have a hard time keeping strapless dresses up. At this point, I’ll consider all options though.


        • So, that’s literally any cocktail dress? Go drink a mimosa tmrw morning and hit up a dept. store. Tipsy shopping is the best.

          • That’s my plan but I think my idea of fancy and the bride’s aren’t the same. She’s a good friend of mine and we were chatting about options and she implied that the dress I was considering wasn’t dressy enough (not in a bridezilla way) so I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas.

          • Aghh gotcha. Personally I’d wear something like this for black tie optional.


        • If you’re really open to everything, I’d suggest hitting up a good department store in the area and trying on a bunch of stuff, *especially* if you don’t have a good set of criteria that would help in an internet screening of the thousands of dresses available online. It may be easier to pick a dress if you have it on your body and can see how the color/cut/material feels, and frankly if your choices are a bit limited. Bonus – that helps cut down on alterations and returns. Where I am, I’d hit a Nordstrom and ask the salespeople for help in picking a dress (I hate shopping and cannot tell what looks good on me, so like to rely on professionals.) Or, take your BFF and make a day of it.

        • Have you thought of borrowing something from a friend? If you’re not likely to wear it again, it might be faster/easier/cheaper.

    • I like this one:

      Or this one:

    • There’s a Canadian equivalent to Rent the Runway called Rent Frock Repeat – I think they even have a brick and mortar store in Toronto somewhere.

    • Whatever you do, don’t buy a black tie worthy gown. I got totally screwed doing this. Some idiot bride put “black-tie optional” on her wedding website. I didn’t notice that she did not repeat that on the wedding invite. Anyway, I went out of my way to buy my first and only floor length gown (expensive) and I was the only guest at the wedding (among ALL men and women, including family) who wore black tie attire. Needless to say I haven’t had a chance to wear the dress since so it was a big waste. I’m not sure it would have been any different if she put black tie optional on the invite. If it’s not required most people won’t bother because it is more expensive.

    • Black Tie Option :

      Anything black or neutral color that hits knee length or maybe tea length. Try to wear a rich looking fabric (not polyester, jersey or flat looking cotton) and add gorgeous shoes and nice jewelry. Don’t let your good friend’s opinion pressure you into going in a direction you’re not comfortable with. She’s not dressing every guest so what you picked out is likely what others think as well.

    • We have rent frock repeat in Toronto! It’s great. They have a showroom out near roncesvalles if you want to try dresses on, or you can just order online. I use them all the time!!

    • Jcrew Under $300 :

      Either of these with the right accessories, and when the wedding is over shorten to something you can wear all the time:

    • Others have mentioned this, but do remember that “black tie optional” is more optional than not in some cases. I’ve been to “black tie” weddings where not (or even half) of the men are in tuxes and ladies are in c0cktail dresses. I wouldn’t stress about dress length. Dress to the venue and to your date (if you are going with one). If you’re going with a guy in a tux, dress to match it in formality.

  6. PSA: this classic work tote is an additional 60% off the clearance price

  7. Opinion on wedding gift :

    I have an old college friend that’s getting married in a few months. She’s requiring all female guests to purchase and wear a saree or other Indian wedding attire. Neither she nor her fiance are Indian. She mentioned that she wanted her wedding guests to look fancy and colorful. She is also throwing a bridal shower that’s a few days before my own wedding. Is it rude for me to decline the shower even though I’m already stressed over my own wedding and will probably have last minute things to do? The kicker is that she’s requesting for gifts for both the shower and wedding in addition to the wedding attire. If I don’t attend the shower, am I still required to send a gift? I’m already spending $100 on the saree and writing her a check for the wedding day.

    • Don’t go to the shower.

      Don’t send a gift to the shower.

      Don’t write her a check in addition to buying a saree.

      Don’t attend her wedding, because cultural appropriation because you like the pretty + making all your guests buy new clothes makes you a bad rude entitled person and you don’t need her in your life.

      • +600000000000000000000000000

      • Seriously? I agree with the other anon, this is way entitled and you don’t need that. Also, cultural appropriation. I’m Indian and I find this…very off-putting, to say the least

        • + a million. I’m not Indian, I think sarees are BEAUTIFUL and would love the opportunity to wear one some day if appropriate (ex: invited to an Indian wedding where all guests, including non-Indian guests, are encouraged to do so), but would never in a million years do so randomly in this ridiculous manner.

        • WAIT — only the women have to purchase special attire for the wedding and the men just come as they normally would? Do they not need to sparkle and be out $, too?!

      • I agree on don’t go to the shower, and don’t send a gift to the shower. (You are never obligated to send a gift for anything, but even if you feel conventional and “should” do a gift for a party – you certainly do not need to send a gift to the shower if you don’t attend.)

        If she’s a good friend and just under the temporary insanity that weddings sometimes create in otherwise good/sane people – go to the wedding. Also, go to the wedding if you think it will be fun for you and give you a chance to catch up with other people you may not otherwise have a chance to see. Do or do not give a wedding gift/check depending on how you feel about the friendship and what financially makes sense to you.

        In short: is she entitled, selfish and needy usually and therefore someone you can dump without guilt? or is she a good friend who is just crazy at the moment (and you have less patience because your wedding is sucking up your usual store of patience) and you’d want to keep the ties for later?

      • Times a brazillion.

      • Yup. This is a wedding that will end up going viral onreddit/ jezebel/buzzfeed ect. Do you want to be in those pictures? This is something that I would absolutely say something straight out- “Friend, I don’t feel comfortable buying a sari when you and your FI aren’t indian. I also think that some people will find this offensive- have you considered that?” Most likely she will flip out and go bridezilla on you, but then you have at least given her a heads up and then you can be fully at peace with your decision not to go or send a gift.

        Honestly, for the sake of everyone you need to make sure you don’t send gifts. People need to feel the consequences of their rude and/or ridiculous wedding behavior. I mean the fact that she is throwing her own shower is enough for her not to get shower gifts. Please, please don’t buy a sari for this.

        • Right??! I could totally see that happening as well, very good point. Also, maybe Im harsh but I would seriously side eye the f*ck out of a “friend” that would even consider doing something like this/reconsider the friendship. People are something else…

    • Cultural appropriation is just not. okay.

    • An invitation is not a summons. Decline. Send flowers if you feel like it.

      And yea, the sari thing is quite odd.

    • clutching pearls :

      OMG — you do not get to throw yourself a shower

      no no no do not go to this

    • Skip the shower and don’t feel guilty at all about not sending a gift.

      If this were my friend, I’d skip the wedding and associated attire costs out of sheer annoyance, but still send a gift. It sounds like you’ve already decided to go, though.

    • anon-oh-no :

      I guess it depends on how close a friend you are/care to be in the future. Although I agree with others that she seems way over the top here, declining to do stuff may very well have lasting impacts on the friendship.

      I assume this isn’t a super good friend (in which case I would probably do it all). But assuming its someone you wish to continue a relationship with, I would attend only the wedding, wearing the saree, and send a wedding gift at whatever amount you are comfortable with (maybe you can buy a few small items from the registry for $50).

    • Nope nope nope.

      Don’t attend the shower. Don’t send a gift.

      Maybe attend the wedding (if you want to). Don’t buy a sari. Wear a colourful dress you already have. No one gets to dictate wardrobe choices for all their wedding guests, unless they are a producer and their wedding is not a wedding but actually a Broadway musical.

    • She’s treating traditional Indian formalwear as a costume. NOPE.

      (Also, it’s rather sexist that she’s only asking the women to wear something very few of them own.)

    • I wonder who is going to tie all the saris. I wore one for an Indian friend’s wedding and needed an auntie to dress me.

      • + 1. Neither the bride nor the groom is Indian = no aunties to help out = it’s going to look more like a toga than a proper sari, which makes this whole situation so much worse.

    • Return the sari if there is no legitimate reason to wear one, and if you don’t want to keep it. Wear a brightly colored dress – or whatever, a tie for the guys? – that compliments you, and know you are complying with the heart of the request and call it a draw.

      If you have enough closeness to have a heart-to-heart with her and alert her to your upcoming wardrobe change, go for it. There will be pictures, so be your best self without compromising on something that could go viral in a bad way.

      • I can’t stress this enough. Do not wear a sari to this mess. A bride who is like this will be putting those pictures everywhere and it will absolutely be one of those viral stories. Wear a purple or other bright colored dress but do not wear a sari to this if you go. The internet is ruthless on these things- they will end up identifying the people in the pictures.

      • Yep, if you feel like you still want to support her enough to go to the wedding, just wear something bright and don’t worry about the sari. If she confronts you about it, depending on how crazy she is, you could either tell the truth, or just lie: “I was bringing you a chocolate mousse pie, and then I dropped it on the sari, and now both are destroyed. SARI!” Hopefully they will then exclude you from all pictures and you can deny partaking in any way.

    • This is one of the craziest things I’ve ever heard. The cultural appropriation alone is mind-blowing and very weird, as has already been covered. But the inconvenience of guests is also nuts. I’m white, husband is Indian, and we had an indian wedding. Even under those circumstances, I think it’s wrong to require guests to wear indian clothes. And if you are doing such a thing, you better be providing the indian clothes because that’s a not-insignificant expense for something they will almost certainly not wear again. Is her family going along with this? My family would have looked at me like I had 3 heads.

      • +1 on what is her family thinking (and his)? My family is super supportive of my choices, but if I’d told them I wanted to have all my female guests wear saris to my wedding (where neither bride nor groom is Indian), I definitely would have gotten a big helping of “don’t be an a**hole”.

        • OP-Opinion on wedding gift :

          No mention on what her family thinks but apparently all of her other friends are excited to play dress up so she thinks it’s crazy I don’t want to purchase a saree.

          • Its not that surprising that a person this dumb/naive/privileged would have similar friends I guess. But seriously- take a hard stand.

      • And for practical advice, I agree with TOS.

    • Senior Attorney :

      This is a trainwreck in the making. Step away from all of it.

    • OP-Opinion on wedding gift :

      Okay to answer some questions:
      -Yes, she only requested female guests to wear something different, guys can go in suits
      -I’ve asked her before whether or not it’s okay for all of us to wear sarees since neither of them are Indian. She already seemed a little offended that I asked and responded that because she’s Burmese and he is Egyptian, therefore it’s okay to wear traditional Indian clothes. (Can someone explain to me why? No snark intended.)
      -She’s not someone I’m close to but would like to remain friends with in the future since we are part of the same circle of friends from college
      -No one else seems to think her requests are crazy and in fact are excited to play dress up–do I say anything or just go in a dress I already own?

      • That’s a little different than you led us to believe then. Saris are not limited to India but are worn in many South Asian countries.

      • I don’t know why she thinks it’s appropriate – maybe Burmese formalwear is similar to a sari for women? But you are not going to accomplish anything by disagreeing and it sounds like you will not change her mind. Go in a colorful dress, or perhaps a neutral dress you own with a fun, colorful accessory. If asked just say you were uncomfortable wearing a sari. You will surely not be the only one in a dress.

        Skip the shower but get her a gift if she gave you one. In most of the U.S. it is customary to give a gift at both a shower and a wedding, so she’s not doing anything weird there. The whole point of a shower is gifts, and of course you are free to decline. However, I would notice and be peeved if I gave you a nice gift at your shower and you did not reciprocate.

      • I think sarees are part of Burmese culture. Not sure how that plays into weddings, and at any rate, it’s over the top to expect all the female guests to participate.

        • Does her invitation say saris are required (or what, you will be asked to leave? That would be crazy) or is it just a suggestion for those that wish to participate?

        • The Internet :

          Saris are a part of traditional clothing for Burmese women, as well as other South East Asian women. This is not cultural appropriation in any form. It’s just the lack of knowledge on the part of OP and an unfortunate assumption that saris are limited to India.

      • Anonymous :

        You should have mentioned that she’s Burmese – that makes a huge difference. Saris and sari-like garments are worn across SE Asia. I don’t really think this is a cultural appropriation issue. It is still inappropriate for her to tell guests they are *required* to wear one, but I see nothing wrong with her wearing one and conveying to her guests that they are encouraged to wear one.

        • This is a bit different- from you first description I was picture two white people. But yes she still shouldn’t be telling people they have to.

    • Re. cultural appropriation–I totally get that it is not okay for a non-Indian bride marrying a non-Indian groom to wear a sari or to request that guests wear saris. But is it *always* inappropriate for people to wear clothing from a culture that is not their own? My family is not Indian. My husband has a number of Indian colleagues, some of whom once gave him and our daughter Indian clothing as a gift. I actually think this particular group would get a huge kick out of seeing them in the outfits, but we have never been brave enough to try it. Thoughts?

      • I don’t know – it’s a weird thing and weird to know when to draw the line. I do yoga and I bet a lot of other readers do, too – is that inappropriate? In any case, I think your daughter, depending on age, gets a pass, and I bet you could wear it to their house for dinner or something like that without too much judgement.

      • Ugh, seriously? Enough with the cultural appropriation. I’m Indian and I think it’s ridiculous for the PC police to tell someone they can’t wear a beautiful outfit because they aren’t from that culture.

      • Wear the Indian clothes and your husband’s colleagues will be so happy. Indian here, and I often gift my non Indian friends Indian clothes, and LOVE it when they wear them.

    • Why does she want the Indian theme then? I am Indian and this sounds flattering, though weird.

      Anyway, skip the wedding shower, and just get a wedding gift.

      How can she ” request” two gifts?

  8. Any recommendations for non-thong underwear that doesn’t show under work clothes??

    • Any cotton bikini panty works for me. I’m not super obsessive about concealing any hint of a line though.

    • The Felina “Sublime” line is great for this. They are at Nordstrom, Lord & Taylor, etc.

    • Soma vanishing edge have been a lifesaver for me. You can get them in many different styles to fit whatever you like and you cannot see them under anything. Several people on here recommended them so I tried them and now won’t wear anything else!

      • clutching pearls :

        totally agree on the vanishing edge @ Soma

      • Senior Attorney :


        It’s been a real game-changer for me. They have sales quite often on their web site.

        • Ugh. My princess and the pea skin won’t tolerate the silicone edges. I get welts.

    • Maidenform has a line of briefs and bikinis with a fused edge that doesn’t show under clothes for me. I usually buy them when they are on sale at Macys or Nordstrom, or direct from their website. Comfort devotion line.

    • anon-oh-no :

      lulu lemon makes awesome briefs that cant be seen under anything and are super comfortable. That said, they are $18 each and hold up terribly.

  9. BigLaw Move :

    Has anyone here moved from one biglaw firm to another (same city, same practice)? I suppose my current job is fine by biglaw standards (relatively humane hours, friendly associates). The problems are that the partners I work with are very territorial about associates seeking work from other partners and inherently think that we are lazy. Otherwise, I guess we do get along generally and I am given responsibility and have client access at an early level. I am wondering if it would be worth it to move for a change of culture and an expanded variety of projects, or if I should just suck it up because the lawn is always greener on the other side AND this is just how biglaw is.

    • what are your goals for biglaw? Get experience/get to know clients/get poached in-house, or make partner? If the former, and you like your clients, probably worth sticking around for a little while so you don’t have to go through the adjustment process and proving yourself all over again. If the latter, it may be more difficult to make partner if lots of different partners haven’t had the opportunity to work with you (and the territorial nature may also spill over into how they feel about clients/billing/income etc.), so worth considering a move.

    • Yes, and a change is totally worth it. Not all BigLaw firms are created equal.

      I moved between BigLaw firms (same city) around 5.5 years in. If your dissatisfaction comes from factors specific to your current group (which it sounds like it does), then it’s totally worth the move. Go in with eyes open that your hours may change, there will be a certain amount of “proving yourself” as a new-to-the-firm associate — though I’ve actually seen this move work really well for good midlevels who are ready for more responsibility. Good luck.

    • It doesn’t hurt to talk with friends at other firms or even with a recruiter. I agree with ace – go in with eyes open. If you do decide to interview with other firms, be sure you can articulate why you’re looking for a change (without bad-mouthing your current firm) and what about that specific firm seems like it would be the right fit. We’ve interviewed a bunch of laterals recently who couldn’t answer either question, and it definitely sends up red flags for me.

    • Greener Grass :

      I did the move. Same city, same work, same big firm. There really isn’t bullying or hazing here like at the old firm, but still other ridiculous political crap that just makes this type of job not worth it. And there are things new firm doesn’t have that old firm did that I miss terribly. Bottom line: it’s not better or worse. Just different.

      • I did this as well, and besides working more hours, I am happier all around. What did your old firm have that you “miss terribly”?

  10. Silly question :

    This is probably a ridiculous question, but how to I keep a fully pleated skirt looking good? I’m wearing this skirt (link below), which has very small pleats all the way around. I try to smooth them down before I sit. But the back already looks terrible and flattened! Is there any solution to this? Or is this style simply a no-go if you sit most of the day?—pattern/id_280124

    • I have no good advice but that skirt is beautiful! That’s all I wanted to say =)

    • Not sure. I have a dress with similar pleats and it’s fine for sitting all day. The problem is only with dry cleaning – the pleats fall out bit by bit…

    • I don’t buy pleated skirts because of this problem, and because they’re too expensive to dry clean.

  11. I have a gift card to Bloomingdale’s that has been sitting in a drawer for a while, but every time I look at their selection, nothing seems to appeal to me. I’m about to start at an office with a casual dress code, so not looking to buy standard office wear. Anyone have anything from Bloomie’s that they particularly like? Open to casual clothes, flat shoes, and accessories, looking to spend no more than $120. (I feel like I’m setting myself up for an Ellen response, but everyone else’s input is welcome as well :) )

    • If you wait for the big sales, you can often pick up a Vince, Equipment or Theory sweater or silk blouse for that price (or not too much more) – love all three brands for being great at transitioning business casual to polished weekend/casual office day.

    • I like those giftcards for splurging on something you don’t usually get – like a new perfume or splurgy skin stuff.

    • No advice on specific items but sign up for their free rewards program online and they’ll send you coupons for additional discounts.

      • If you sign up now, you can take off 20% off your purchase.
        If you’re not inspired by anything, I’d get some otherwise splurge make up items. They also have nice house brand sheets, usually in the $80-100 price range.

    • I like to use gift cards like this to stock up on things like nylons, mascara or other type of maintenance items that I’d normally purchase from my usual department store.

    • I have a Helmut Lang villous zip sweatshirt that I really like – more than $120 though. :)

    • Jeans! They usually have a good selection of higher-end labels both online and in store — I used a Bl. gift card for this to splurge on a pair b/c I don’t usually buy jeans more expensive than Levi’s or Gap.

      • Or housewares — Le Creuset, Calphalon, a nicer appliance than you would otherwise indulge in like an Aeroccino milk frother (showing my bias here — LOVE mine)?

  12. I have some clothes that are NWT that I’d like to sell – they’re nice-r brands like Tracy Reese, susana monaco, Trina Turk, etc. Is eBay still the best way to do this or is it worth trying thredUP or another online consignment site? There seem to be a bunch of online consignment sites out there now so if anyone has any experiences with any of them (buying or selling) I’d love to hear about them.

    • I have done ThredUP and LikeTwice. I had a good experience with both. It’s really easy – when I did it, both would send you a big plastic bag with a prepaid shipping label (although I believe LikeTwice now only gives you the label, and you have to use your own box, which is annoying). I think that LikeTwice paid out a bit more.

      That being said, I was sending in mostly j.crew/banana/loft level clothing that I otherwise would have donated, so I was happy to get $70-ish for a bag of clothes (and to skip a trip to Goodwill). I definitely think you can probably make more on eBay, but then you have to deal with all that hassle, too, so it’s a trade off imo.

      • lucy stone :

        LikeTwice will still send you the bag. I’m pretty happy with it, I tend to get about $45 a bag and I’ve sent in quite a few now. I am selling some Lilly for Target on eBay but I wouldn’t do it for clothes that wouldn’t fetch a premium.

    • If they are nicer brands, I’d probably recommend Like Twice over thredUP. They are much faster in processing the clothes and payment, and the payout will probably be more than or comparable to thredUP.

      Whether eBay is worth it depends on how much time and energy you want to invest. You could always do one round of selling on eBay. and then send whatever doesn’t sell into Like Twice. But it does take a significant amount of time to photograph things, research how much they are worth, list them, monitor listings and answer questions, and ship the items.

      There’s also PoshMark, but I have no experience with that site.

    • Anonymousaur :


  13. Anonforthis :

    I need some hive wisdom about a pregnancy scare(?). I have a copper IUD, and am typically regular as a clock, except for an incident about 4 years ago when I missed 2 periods, which my doctor attributed to the physical stress of marathon training while a bit underweight. According to my period tracker app, I am on day 34 of my cycle, with no period in sight. My average cycle is 25 days, longest in the last year is 29. I am neither underweight nor marathon training. This leads to the first question: do I take a test now? Or wait a bit longer?

    This isn’t a true “scare,” given that I’m 29, married 3 years, talking about starting to try for kids in about six months. But when I told DH about the situation, he said that if I’m actually pregnant, we should terminate and start trying as contemplated in six months. We’d planned to spend the next six months enjoying childlessness to the fullest (saving tons of money, lots of adventurous travel, partying, etc), so I understand the impulse. But the idea of terminating because it’s only six months “too early” seems crazy to me! His reaction also makes me think he might not actually be ready to start trying in six months. So the second question: am I freaking out about this unnecessarily?

    Words of wisdom, even if it’s “calm the f down” would be great.

    • anon a mouse :

      Breathe. Take a test now. Once you have the results, then (and only then) consider whether to freak out.

      • Clementine :

        Yes. Do this.

        • Do not take a test now.

          BUY a test now. TAKE the test in the morning (you’re less likely to get a false negative result).

          • +1 on taking it in the morning, but agree that potentially stemming the ongoing freakout is totally worth the $10 of a drugstore test.

          • Buy a 3-pack. Take one now, and one in the morning. Then if you buy Take Charge of your Fertility, you can start tracking your cycle and figure out the odd long cycle — in my case, when that happens it is due to delayed ovulation.

    • He may have spoken of terminating without really thinking through the situation. I agree, take the test. Until you have full information, you’re not in a situation to start making decisions.

    • As someone actively TTC (and in hellish fertility treatments), I can tell you for sure that you’re ready to test. If you’re pregnant, a test today would almost certainly be positive (I start testing each cycle about 5 days before I expect my period).

      In terms of your husband’s thoughts on terminating, I’m 100% with you… That strikes me as totally nuts, but given that I’m in a very different place at the moment, others may be more understanding of his perspective.

    • You have an IUD. You aren’t pregnant. And if you were, you’d quite likely need to terminate because of the IUD. That being said, take all the tests you want! They’re a cheap price for peace of mind.

      Re: him saying to terminate I’d ignore that. Until you actually are pregnant he’s just reacting to a highly unlikely hypothetical.

      • Wildkitten :


      • -1
        Just because she has a copper IUD does not mean she’s not pregnant. I had a copper IUD, it moved up into my uterus without me noticing, and I got pregnant. I took a test after my period was late.

        OP, take a test! If the test is positive, be sure to go in right away because your IUD may have moved, which could cause complications and be dangerous to boot. Good luck!

      • Senior Attorney :


      • Not necessarily. I have a niece who was conceived while my sil had a copper iud. Birth control fails. Pregnancy with an IUD doesn’t always require termination.

        I say test, then decide if you need to freak out. And I agree with the ttc person above. Many tests are super sensitive and will give you a result right away.

    • +1 I Feel like both you and husband can’t genuinely react to this without knowing for certain. I’m not a fan of his reaction, but I will give him the benefit of the doubt that it was impulsive. I imagine that if you had a positive test in hand his response is likely to be a bit more thoughtful, and more aligned with your instinct to nix the 6-month delay and get on with it.

      (also, just as a gut check to your husband: consider the physical toll – not to mention mental – of terminating a pregnancy because of 6 months of scheduled “fun”… that’s simply not a fair or reasonable request and could have a lasting impact on you personally)

      • Or, it could not. Because an abortion in your first month isn’t going to take a physical toll on you, and lots of women actually don’t have a mental toll from having control of their own reproduction. Sheesh! Cross the abortion bridge when you come to it; no need to portray it as a faulty rope bridge over lava.

    • Never ever terminate a first pregnancy unless there are dire circumstances. A medical procedure is a medical procedure – however common – you don’t to mess with your body. And definitely not for the reason stated.

      • Is there any actual science backing this up? I’m skeptical.

        • Wildkitten :

          Nope. Abortions are extremely safe, and even more so when done this early, and always when compared to childbirth.

      • Yeah nope! This is sucky shaming pointless advice.

      • Never ever make judgmental, anti-choice statements on a feminist website — unless you’re just trolling.

        • Since when is this a feminist website? I thought it was a fashion website, where many of the commenters happen to be feminists.

          • Anonymous :

            Since it’s targeted to high powered high achieving women. And if you’re one of them and you don’t consider yourself a feminist, you’re an idiot. Just like the original completely false anti abortion comment.

          • People who do not approve of women’s rights are probably not concerned about which pantyhose to wear with their skirt suit to their job in big law.

      • Benefit of the doubt :

        I’m going to interpret your comment as saying that any surgery (not just abortion in particular) puts the body through a great deal of trauma (as doctors often say which is the reason we need rest and recuperation after). So to the extent a surgery is optional try to avoid it. Got it. To the extent you are just being anti-abortion, the reasoned and rationale and intelligent advice above (about whether to test and how to react to husband) was so much better.

        • Anonymous :

          First trimester abortions hardly ever involve surgery, FYI. She’s only being stupid and anti-abortion. No need to pretend otherwise.

    • My stated test for whether we were ready to start trying for kids was whether we were ready (emotionally and financially) for the fact that we were potentially losing control of a lot of things. You don’t know if you’ll conceive right away. You don’t know if you’ll be put on bed rest for months on end. You don’t know if your child will have special needs. You don’t get to put in a special order for a perfect pregnancy and child. God willing, everything goes smoothly — I’m thankful that for the most part it has for me and my family. But I really do think that everyone should wrap their brains around that and realize that you’re signing up for the hand you’re dealt.

    • It seems a bit over the top to me, but I don’t know the context of his reaction. He could be very controlling or not able to deal with the lack of control a child will introduce into your lives, or maybe he sees abortion as no big deal and just wants his next six months guarenteed child-free. Or perhaps he’s thinking that with an iud, you’d pretty much have to terminate it anyway. I’m very much someone who will roll with whatever I’m dealt so it would annoy me, but you guys will have to discuss it and find your level of comfort.

  14. Your husband’s response bothers me- taken out of context he sounds like someone who is not ready to make any of the sacrifices required for raising kids.

    • Idk, maybe he just reacted from shock and surprise rather than selfishness.

    • Except she’s not pregnant. And he isn’t ready for the sacrifices of having kids, and knows it, and that’s why she’s using an IUD.

    • Due in December :

      Well, I had the same response when I thought I was pregnant only 2 months before we were going to start trying. Because it would have messed with my savings plan and a visit to my Grandmother. Don’t know what my reaction would have actually been had I been pregnant.

  15. Wildkitten :

    What does botox for horizontal forehead lines cost in a big city?

    • I pay $200 in DC. Early 30s, so not much involved, but I don’t remember the unit #

      • Are you doing the forehead or the lines between the eyebrows? I am interested in having it done between the eyebrows and would be okay paying around $200. I want to have some reasonable idea of what it would cost before I go in and pay for a consultation.

      • Wildkitten :

        We are the same! Do you like where you go? I was going to just go to my normal derm but would love recommendations if you like your doc.

      • Sorry, late reply! I mostly “need” the forehead but my derm usually has a but left over he puts between the eyebrows as more of a preventative measure. I go to Todd Perkins, and would highly recommend him.

    • Depends on the size of your forehead. Mine’s large and it runs around $400 – they charge per unit so if you have a smaller space it will be less.

      • Wildkitten :

        Thank you. I was remember it would be either $300 or $600 so it sounds like probably it was $300 per time.

    • Anonymous :

      It really all depends on how much you need. $7-$8 per unit is common where I live. I do forehead and crows feet, and it’s $250-$300.

  16. Suggestions for a lunch restaurant with a partner around 50th street and Park Avenue in NYC?

    I’m an intern and the partner told us to choose a place for lunch.

    • Killer Kitten Heels :

      Ask a friendly associate for advice (or the partner’s assistant, or whoever your associate mentor is, or someone in a similar position).

    • No suggestions, but what an awkward position to put you in. I think Killer Kitten Heels’ advice is good. They will probably be able to suggest someplace appropriate.

    • Papillon is a pretty neutral fallback. It’s neither slumming it or going expense-account crazy. Le Pain Quotidien is also more budget-friendly. But I’d ask his assistant if he likes going to nicer places for lunch.

    • Assuming this is on an expense account, I like Avra (Greek) and Sea Fire Grill (mostly seafood), both on 48th. Agree with double checking with someone before reserving.