Coffee Break: Conversational Smoking Flat

128 Comments

1. Love these shoes!!

   How much do you pay for a manicure and pedicure? And for a facial?

   I’d love to do them more regularly (especially pedicures) but tbh am not sure what a normal price is.

   I’m in NYC!

   1. I think you can get a mani/pedi combo deal many places for $40-45 plus tip. I usually tip generously on that because I don’t think it’s a lot given how much time they spend on me. I’m in the Bay Area but have also had this service frequently in NYC. But I’m not talking about day spa level places. I’m talking about the places over a deli you have to walk up a steep staircase to get to.

      1. Read the New York Times article about the labor abuses in nail salons and think about why these rates are so low in a high rent city.

         1. This is obviously a concern. I’m never quite sure how to weed out such places (the more expensive places could be doing it too) so I just tip well and in cash directly to the manicurist

            1. That’s what I do. I tend to tip $10 to each of the technicians directly, not on my credit card. Cash only, directly to the person.

   2. In a city much smaller than NYC, I pay $90, including tip ($75 + $15 tip) for a classic manicure and “deluxe” pedicure. No gel, but pedicure includes callous removal, foot & leg sugar scrub, cooling mask on legs and paraffin wax on feet.

      1. And, LOL I realize I spelled callus wrong. I mean maybe appropriate though!?

   3. The bigger the city the cheaper it is. Philly, the walk-in places on the street run typically $12-15 for a mani and $25-30 for a pedi, usually around $35 or $40 for both, plus tip.

      Not talking about spa-type services, which are obviously more expensive, but I’ve never had a spa manicure that I’ve been as happy with as my regular lady around the corner from my office!

   4. I pay $90 for a gel mani and gel pedi, I think it’s about $45 for regular polish for both

   5. It really depends on if you go to a spa or a cheapie nail bar.

   6. My go-to place in a MCOL city charges $32 for a basic pedicure and more for a fancier ‘spa’ pedicure. It’s in a strip mall and ANC or gel is $35.

      I also go to there because I know they treat their staff well and pay everyone well.

   7. I pay $35 plus tip for a pedicure in a LCOL Midwest city. There are some fancy spa-like places where you can pay 50+ but I think 30-40 is average in my area for regular salons. I don’t get manicures or facials.

   8. $55 plus $20 tip for a manicure and $65 plus $20 tip for a pedicure.

2. Apropros of sitting in a slow moving line at the Costco gas station the other day, here is a life hack that should be taught when you learn to drive, but half the people seem to not know this (and I only learned it much later in life from a random podcast): your car’s dashboard has a little triangle by the tank indicator, which reminds you on which side of your car the tank opening is located. So you don’t need to guess the right side when pulling up to the gas pump. Every car I have ever driven across 4 different countries, has had this little symbol.
   What’s a little useful fact you wish you’d known earlier?

   1. Ummm, that button is to turn on the hazard lights when you are stopped or going to slow for traffic. My dad says for me to only give out advise when I know the answer. Here it seems you could be confusing that hazard light indicator with your dashboard.

   2. Since you talked about cars I wish more people knew that the most efficient way to drive is to use all available lanes and then do a zipper merge when one lane ends. Too many people seem to be offended that someone would use a lane that is ending and then refuse to let the merging traffic in.

      Likewise, the leftmost lane is a passing lane, not a cruising lane. It doesn’t matter if you’re doing the speed limit – move to the right and let people use the left lane for passing.

      1. Similarly, if you’re waiting to make a turn across oncoming lanes of traffic, don’t turn your wheel until you get your opening and are executing the turn. I see so many people crank their wheels while they are stopped and waiting and this creates much bigger problems quickly if you get rear-ended before you get your chance to turn.

         1. AND, if you are in the left of 2 lanes with a middle turn lane and someone is trying to make a left across you, do NOT stop and let them in – you force them to turn and then they can’t see who is coming up in the right of the 2 lanes. Let the traffic flow until it naturally stops This is a huge pet peeve of mine. You are not doing me any favors by waving me across so I can get broadsided by the person in the lane next to you. Just GO, already. I can wait.

            1. Also see how I got T-boned and totaled my car

            2. With few exceptions, ALWAYS take your right-of-way.

      2. Rationally, I know zipper merging is more efficient. At the same time, if I know the lane is ending I get over as soon as I possibly can. I do let the other lane in but I feel too guilty to do it myself!

         1. As long as you’re not stubbornly refusing to let people in, you’re not part of the problem!!

   3. Another fun life hack – Costco gas station pumps are “unisex” – the gas pump line will reach your vehicle even if it is on the wrong side of the pump. The gas hose is extra long on purpose. This is intended to speed up the line.

   4. Search for music by producer instead of by singer, and movies by director instead of by actor. They have a lot of say in the final tone of the product. (This tip partially inspired by me, a metal and hard rock fan, recently finding out that Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross produced Halsey’s new album.)

   5. The little dangling flap on the toilet seat covers goes in the front, not the back.

      1. I had no idea! Is that a splash guard? My 6 yr old girl is so prone to peeing over the rim…

         1. It’s how the cover gets flushed without you touching it. The water catches the flap against the front as the water runs down when you flush.

      2. Today I learned

   6. Sometimes, there is no triangle, but the gas pump symbol will have the gas pump on the left side, which means a driver’s side tank, or the right side, which means a passenger’s side tank.

      1. Unless you have an older VW Jetta wagon, which has no arrow, and the gas pump symbol on the left while the tank opening is on the passenger side.

   7. I’ve noticed it in rental cars a couple times but my 2009 Toyota doesn’t have it. I think no one was really aware of this until recently because 10 years ago most cars didn’t have this.

3. Reminder to contact your representatives about averting the crises of a government shut down and a debt default. Here is a template from Sharon Says So, if you don’t know what to say:

   Dear ____. I am a constituent and live at [Address]. I am writing to urge you to avert the crises of a government shut down and a debt default.
   Shutting down the government will be catastrophic for the state of ____. It will cost the economy billions in lost revenue, and will create immense financial hardship for [you/your family/your neighborhood].
   Default on our debt should not be an option, as the national and global repercussions of such an event can’t even be adequately expressed in this short message.
   Please work across the aisle and pass bills that avert these looming crises immediately. As your constituent, my family is counting on you to represent us well. Please work until the job is done.

   1. Each time there’s a “government shutdown”, we hear about what a crisis it will be. I think it’s far more likely to be a complete nonevent (like those government shutdowns in the past), where the government workers will receive full backpay instead of being forced to apply for unemployment like their private sector counterparts.

      1. I respectfully disagree that a shutdown would be a non-issue. According to the CBO, the partial shutdown of 2019 delayed $18 billion in federal spending and suspended some federal services, thus lowering the projected level of the real GDP in the first quarter of 2019 by $8 billion. Source: https://www.cbo.gov/system/files/2019-01/54937-PartialShutdownEffects.pdf
         And a default on our debt is expected to cost $6 million jobs and wipe out $15 trillion in wealth. Source: https://www.washingtonpost.com/us-policy/2021/09/21/debt-ceiling-recession-/

4. Regular poster, anon for this. I have recently come into a 6-figure windfall which is about 3x my usual salary.
   I have a mortgage at a low interest rate, have already paid off my student loans and am now talking to a financial advisor about how to invest the windfall. I’m on track for retirement savings (currently maxing out) and my regular salary more than meets my current needs + savings.
   I think there are lifestyle improvements or even one-time purchases that I’d appreciate but that just haven’t occurred to me because of my very working-class background. For example, a friend advised me to hire a cleaner, and having a cleaning person every week has been a revelation. Who knew I could reduce my household chore unhappiness to almost zero just by throwing money at it?
   So I’d appreciate any advice about what I could do if I took a chunk of it and spent it now, or now that I have very good savings, if I diverted a portion of what I’ve been putting in savings into a recurring service or purchase. I’m not just looking for an excuse to spend, but more of recommendations for things that make life easier/
   better/ safer/ happier that might not occur to someone who doesn’t come from money.

   1. 1. If you have a car, get all of the services done and also get it detailed. $ spent on maintenance of a depreciating asset beats ever buying another prematurely.
      2. Umbrella policy, now that you have assets to go after.
      3. Consider the following: gutter cleaning, outside window cleaning, pressure wash your house, and get a top-down deep clean.
      Also: landscaping. The best time to plant a tree is 10 years ago. The second best time is now. Deciduous trees on your west / south exposures will result in nice shade and lower energy bills + curb appeal. Get ones that are a bit older / taller since you have the $ now for a non-sapling budget.

      1. These are all excellent suggestions, especially the landscaping. If you are in a somewhat temperate climate, think about an outdoor kitchen and/or living room in the back yard. We live in ours during the warmer months. Oh! And a fire pit! So great to sit around in the evening with a glass of wine.

         You might also think about getting your house painted inside and out. This is a maintenance issue as well as a cosmetic one, and a lot of people defer it too long because it’s surprisingly expensive.

         Gym membership? Personal trainer? More expensive personal care like professional hair coloring, more frequent/more expensive haircuts, Botox or similar, facials, massages? Regular mani-pedis?

         1. Love these house maintenance suggestions in particular. I’ve never done more than plant a few flowers, but the tree planting and creation of a nice outdoor space is exactly the type of idea I need and would normally just kind of halfway do in a very budget way.
            Thanks!

         2. Yes to house painting, as well as checking the state of your roof and HVAC systems. Super boring but can be a shocking amount of $$ to do and not many people have $20-30k just sitting around in cash (which is what we were quoted for our roof, same cost for full outdoor painting which would likely include rot repair to wood trim. yay).

      2. Landscaping, yes! Large trees yes!
         And now down the rabbit hole of learning about umbrella policies.

   2. May not apply to you, but one thing I’ve eased into over the past few years is stressing less about the grocery bill. I was never an extreme couponer, but I would also keep the list as minimalist as possible, buy the cheapest brand, etc. until I moved in with my now husband. He grew up in a wealthier family than mine and had no qualms about tossing in a fancy cheese or an extra bottle of wine. We probably spend an extra $100+ a month on groceries above what we really *need* to, but we can easily afford it and it’s nice to have that piece of emotional labor off my to-do list.

      1. Along with that, grocery delivery. Makes a huge difference.

         1. Oh, yes, meant to mention that! I pay for an annual subscription that gets me unlimited pickup orders (this is easier for me than delivery for various reasons) and it’s the best money I spend all year.

   3. Donate. Give it to people in need.

   4. Why change anything if your life is working for you now? You say that your current salary meets your needs – if there are no pain points that need addressing, don’t spend just for the sake of it. Your friends have different priorities and needs. Figure out what YOU need and what YOU want and tune out their advice.

      1. Agreed.

   5. set aside money for travel or other big purchases
      invest it – vanguard admiral funds. just pick the biggest stock index fund and do as much as you can. if you feel like now is a bad time to buy just pick a number ($2500, $1000, $10,000, whatever) and invest that each month.

      1. +1. Maxing your retirement doesn’t mean you will have enough to retire! Most people benefit from having additional investments.

   6. Thanks for the good mix of ideas. The landscaping and outdoor space improvement is a big one where I can see this making a difference in my quality of life.
      Grocery delivery has been another one of those “why didn’t I know to do this sooner” moments that has made a big difference in my stress.
      Good shout on the giving. I’m doing this already in the boring part of my budget. Maybe I’ll branch out a bit and find a new charity to increase that amount.

      1. If you’re still reading

         An expensive vacation or two with those you love. It need not be 5 star everything just something you set aside time and attention for.

         I wish I had been able to do this with my parents. My father was diagnosed with his first cancer before I was in HS. After over a decade of cancers and serious issues, we lost him. He was well enough for the first decade to travel but I was young and ignorant in what to do, where to go etc and frankly to even do it.

         Now my mom in her 80s and having health issues, enough that she wouldn’t be physically able or aware enough (and it would cause stress) I wish i had taken a few in a lifetime trips when they were well enough.

         But a car in Europe, drive it around abd have it shipped home to use daily. And take an extra picture for me.

         Kind wishes on your happiness.

         1. Oof. My older family members are getting to that age and this is a very relevant suggestion. Thank you. And I’m sorry for your loss.

   7. My two cents is that you should sit on the money for now and, down the road, when you think to yourself “my life would be so much easier if I could pay someone to do X” then do it. That strategy of being more intentional about reducing the ‘pain points’ in your life is likely to bring you more longterm happiness than just throwing money at every outsourcing idea you can think of now. Unless you’re Bill Gates, every dollar you spend now is a dollar less you’ll have later (actually more, because of interest) for whatever goals you might have down the road, whether that’s early retirement or more money to travel in retirement or whatever.

      Fwiw, I haven’t been in your situation of a sudden windfall, but I’m in the situation where my income would allow me to outsource pretty much everything if I wanted. The only thing I really outsource is indoor cleaning, I have a biweekly cleaning service. But I find that a lot of the other things people in my income bracket typically outsource would not add a lot of value to my life. For example, curbside grocery pickup is free and takes almost no time, so it’s not worth investing in grocery delivery. The real time sink is ordering the groceries online, and you have to do that either way. I’ve never pressure-washed my house or invested in landscaping, and although I’m sure my house isn’t going to win any prizes for curb appeal, it’s also not something that’s keeping me awake at night or taking up a lot of my precious free time. If you really want these things, go for it. I would just caution you to make sure this is something that will bring you happiness, because if it isn’t it may not be the best use of the money.

      Also remember that it’s incredibly easy to upgrade your lifestyle once you have the cash and nearly impossible to downgrade it. So that’s another reason to go slowly and be very intentional about adding recurring expenses to your life.

   8. Do you have disability insurance? If not, that’s spendthrift and very important, but not something that gets talked about.

      1. OMFG this, totally this, 1000% this. We are much more likely to become disabled early vs die early. And yet we all have life insurance. And all y’all who who have it, get a checkup if your income has gone up any (or expenses) since you first got your policy.

         And yes, they are pricey. That is because a lot of these get paid out on vs lapsing unpaid (e.g., term life insurance).

   9. I would look at wats to make my activities more climate friendly. Replace my gas guzzler with an electric vehicle, install solar panels, better insulate my home, etc.

      1. This, with the caveat that the carbon cost of a new hybrid or electric vehicle is often higher than keeping the gas guzzler on the road until it dies (learned this here!). Proceed with caution and do your research on that one.

         1. You read my mind.

   10. Better life insurance. Pu a handy person a retainer to come to your house every other months and fix those random things that pile up. Great haircut quarterly. Pay someone to digitize all the photos and paper memorabilia you have accumulated and organize it so future generations can enjoy it.
       I’m not sure I’d go too wild on outsourcing if things are working well already. Money down the road for a more comfortable retirement or to help a family member in a tough spot or to take a great trip would be more valuable to me than grocery delivery unless I hated going shopping, for example.

   11. Just coming back to say thanks. I did check back a couple times and saw all these ideas and am pursuing quite a few of them. I did not realize how ignorant I was on various insurance issues, definitely in the category of “didn’t know due to background.” The home-related ideas were pretty much all relevant, as were the ideas about spending time with family, AND the suggestions to put most of it away for a bit.

5. Anyone else find they’re way more worked up and anxious/unhappy on Monday than the rest of the week. I’ve noticed it in the last 3-4 weeks that on Mondays it takes me until like 2-3 pm to settle down and start doing work though of course I attend meetings. I mean I don’t like my job but there’s nothing particular I dislike more about the work on Monday as opposed to Thursday. And I don’t HATE my job – I just feel stuck, the pandemic has made it worse esp on the east coast because things aren’t fully open here yet so I don’t feel like I want to aggressively interview at other places, I have a weird resume so finding jobs is never easy even in non pandemic times etc.

   Last 2 weeks though I’ve forced myself to get up and go for a walk – nothing big just like a mile or so and somehow that has settled me down a bit. Is walking really a “cure” for anxiety??

   1. Exercise is an effective treatment for anxiety.
      And the Monday blues is as old as the work week. Not to be snarky, but I am a little surprised that you are just realizing this and asking if others also experience it. I am sure you are too young to know the song “Manic Monday”, but yeah, it’s been a thing for . . . forever? See also, Sunday Scaries (though that may be most common among lawyers).

      1. I was fairly surprised when I realized how common and accepted “Sunday Scaries” was. I do have to say that I’ve experienced it much more when I didn’t like the job, and really not at all when I did. When I liked my job, yes I preferred the weekend of course, but I wasn’t upset about having work the next day and it certainly didn’t put me in a bad mood the evening before. I know people who start feeling nervous on Saturday nights that there is only one more weekend day – that definitely doesn’t seem healthy or like it should be accepted.

         Once when I worked at a consulting firm one of the guys comments that he didn’t exercise on Monday mornings because he never slept well on Sunday nights and he couldn’t put a finger on why. That is called Sunday scaries dude! Manifests itself a little differently from person to person. I think someone did explain to him that it was likely anxiousness about the work week.

   2. I mean, I don’t think you can walk away clinical anxiety, but yes, taking a walk or two a day makes a huge difference in my well being, particularly now that I’m permanently work from home. I used to try to get regular walks in even when I was in the office, but I think then I at least got some benefits from walking between meetings, walking to the other side of the building to refill my water bottle, etc. Sometimes I just need to step away from my computer for a minute or two to decompress.

   3. Mondays stink! I find I need to make sure I don’t have anything planned for the evening. If I know I’ll leave work on time and chill, everything is better (and the rest of the week goes better, too).

6. Extremely low stakes question. Kiddo is now responsible for unloading the dishwasher, so I wanted to get a “Clean/Dirty” magnet to help signal when it’s time to do this. Picked out a really cute Ron Swanson magnet on Etsy and was excited about this, but just realized our stainless steel dishwasher front is one of those that magnets don’t actually adhere to.

   Suggestions? Surely others have overcome this challenge.

   1. Get a small metal strip and command-strip it to the front of the dishwasher. The magnet will stick to the metal strip. I did this with my magnetic spice racks when we moved to a place with a stainless steel fridge!

      I like the “three by three magnetic strip bulletin board” for this!

      1. This is what we did for our nonmagnetic dishwasher

   2. Post Its.

      1. Those won’t last long, though.

         1. Rumor has it they’ll make more.

            1. What a waste though

   3. So this was also one of my chores as a kid, and I never had to wonder whether it was clean or dirty bc my mom ran it daily after lunch. (Family of 5 so it was always reasonably full, if not stuffed.)

      So, when I got home from school, it was always time to unload…

   4. Our dishwasher has a light that indicates when it’s been run. The rule in our house is you turn it off when you’ve unloaded the dishes. If you have something similar there’s an added benefit that it puts the responsibility on her to determine when it’s time to unload.

      I also cosign “run it at the same time every day so it’ll always be ready.” I always regret not running it even if it’s not full.

      1. We run it every 2-3 days now since as a couple we obviously don’t fill it nearly as quickly as a larger family, but the habit of running it during the day has 100% stuck. Nothing worse than having to empty the dishwasher first thing just to put your dirty coffee mug away!

      2. That seems really wasteful of water to run it if it is not reasonably full.

         1. I’ve found that my dishwasher does a much better job if it’s not completely full, so when you factor in having to re-run dishes that didn’t get clean the first time, it may not be a waste. Also, dishwashers don’t use that much water in general. A dishwasher uses about 3 or 4 gallons per load. A 20 minute shower uses 50 (!) gallons. So if you take short showers you can run your dishwasher daily with zero guilt.

         2. Somehow we manage to get it reasonably full pretty much every day. And I don’t run it if it’s not, and then… I regret it.

   5. Just…tell him?

   6. Stop rinsing your dishes so it is obvious when it is dirty. Also, you will still need to remind your child constantly.

   7. If you search “dishwasher clean empty sign nonmagnetic” on Amazon they have a disk that spins on a suction cup base.

   8. Put the magnet on the fridge. Signed, my toddler takes the magnet off the dishwasher and hides it under the area rug so this is what we do.

      1. This comment made my day.

   9. I started using the “delay” cycle on my dishwasher so it always runs in the night & is ready to empty in the morning. Putting dishes in throughout the day & never having to remember turning it on is so much easier to stay on top of it, rather than having dishes pile up, then having too many to fit.

      Since we are at home, we generally have a 3/4 to fully full dishwasher each day.

   10. We have this same problem, and our refrigerator door is also non-magnetic. The way we resolve it is this – once it’s clean, we pull out the utensil holders (we have two) and stick them on top of the countertop. That means to anyone who is watching it (namely, the kids) that the utensils are clean and ready to be put away (and the dishes in the dishwasher need to be put away also).

7. I hate running/jogging so I never today it. I jogged two miles today (did one mile, walked about a mile and did one more). I need motivation so I decided to pay myself $5 for every mile I run or jog and that will be my shopping money. Hoping to buy some Hunter rainboots later this year.

   1. That’s awesome! I started running using a couch to 5k program and just ran a 10k this weekend (10 years later). One thing I will say is that it took me awhile to really like running and I only ran short distances (2-2.5 miles) for a long time. Even now, I run 3-3.5 as a “fun distance” and run 6-ish on a weekend day.
      But also, I love riding my bike and swimming and skiing and other stuff and find I get burned out by running if I try to run a lot (not a marathoner yet!), so I would consider folding in other things to balance yourself out, rather than trying to work up to running lots of days per week.

8. Has anyone had electrolysis done? And have tips for it to not hurt so much? I am having it done on my underarms and by ten minutes in to a 60 minute session I’m ready to call it quits.
   I’m drinking lots of water and avoiding caffeine day of, using the recommended OTC numbing cream (Zensa) applied an hour beforehand, and the re applied 15 minutes beforehand, which I cover with press and seal do it stay on… I also had no issues with getting laser hair removal (barely felt it) and had a natural child birth, so I’m no wimp when it comes to pain. Childbirth and the recovery was significantly less painful than electrolysis has been, so looking for any tips one might have. Thank you!!!

   1. I had laser hair removal and got to be really good friends with my technician because i just wanted to take my mind off it. could you download a bingeworthy show to your phone from netflix, or even just watch tiktok during the procedure?

   2. I think there’s a Rx numbing cream you might want to look into, though I can’t recall the name of it. I had electrolysis done on my upper lip, between my brows and sideburn area and it was horribly horribly painful, but because they were small areas, we only ever did 15-30 minutes at a time. I think underarms are particularly known for being painful, fwiw.

9. I hate all exercise but I’m in my mid-40s with teenagers and a sedentary desk job (lawyer) and I’m trying to fend off the typical middle-aged weight gain and bone loss. I read an article recently about the benefits of jumping rope. I loved jumping rope as a kid at recess using those beaded jump ropes! I am thinking about doing it for exercise since I’m working from home. I’m wondering if there are anyone else here likes to jump rope for exercise, if you have a plan or if you just do it whenever you feel like it. I’m also debating whether this is going to be an indoor activity or if I can do it outside on my back patio and not have anyone see me…

   1. ANY exercise is a good thing, so if jumping rope is fun for you – go for it. I don’t think you need a plan, though maybe think about doing it for at least x number of minutes – 5-10 or whatever you want – to get your heart rate going, rather than just doing it for 2 minutes and stopping. As for people seeing you, who cares?? This is for you, if people think that’s weird, too bad. And btw it’s NOT weird, hardcore athletes jump rope as part of training; you always see the tennis players jumping rope as they warm up for matches, I assume it has something to do with loosening up muscles and agility before a match.

      1. +1. Go for it!

   2. Go on your patio- if they can see you, NBD, no one cares that much (I mean this in a nice way!)

   3. Don’t let coming up with a perfect plan stop you. Just try it tomorrow and see how it goes.

   4. I would advise you to take it slow in starting. I started too fast after I had my first kid and really hurt the ligaments in my ankles. If you’re not postpartum you might have ligaments in better shape, but definitely don’t push it too hard if your feet aren’t used to a lot of pounding.

      1. +1, jumping rope is super high impact! Take it slow and make sure you have good shoes. I would try to do it on grass or wood or another forgiving surface too — jumping rope on asphalt is the one thing other than Zumba (yes, weird) that totally kills my knees.

   5. I love jump rope and used to take jump rope based fitness classes in NYC. Check out Amanda Kloots’ online workouts. She has some you can purchase, and I think she occasionally posts shorter segments on YouTube.

      Not sure if Aerospace Fitness offers online videos/classes but if so highly recommend. They stopped doing classes at their NYC location but the work outs were so effective. And lots of models take their classes for what that’s worth.

      Have fun!

   6. I say go for it. The trainers at my gym often incorporate jumping rope as the cardio component of workouts and at the start of the pandemic, anticipating weeks without access to other cardio equipment, I bought a jump rope when I bought other equipment. My knees don’t love it, personally, but it’s a great workout if your body can handle it. I also worked out outside at my house all last summer and no one paid much attention and when they did it was generally to be friendly (other than the neighbor who already hates me for gentrifying his neighborhood, who just leered).

   7. I do it several times a week! I use songs for my sets, so I jump rope for the duration of one song. In between I tend to mix in steps (just up and down off a plain stepstool), as well as rowing and some specific leg and glute exercises. I usually complete 2 sets/songs of skipping. That’s plenty for me at my moderate level of fitness over the course of a half hour. I do it indoors with a yoga mat under. A good jump rope is essential imo to gain speed. Mine’s kinda fancy.

      1. Please recommend your fancy jump rope. I am that person who will feel bad spending money on an expensive item so I’m more likely to use it (I’m looking at you, CocoFloss, the most expensive dental floss available).

   8. If you like jumping, consider getting a rebounder (a small trampoline). I tried jumping rope, and as someone else mentioned, it was hard on my joints and ligaments, and I ended up hurting my left calf muscle to the point that I had to go to PT. I got a rebounder (I started with a cheapo version, then got one of the more-expensive versions with bungee cords instead of springs) and I use it for at-home workouts at least 2x a week. There are tons of videos you can watch online for rebounder workouts, it’s fun, and it’s easy on the joints. A good rebounder costs $300-$500 but you can start with a $150 version from Amazon and see if you like it first. Only downside, you need a place to store the rebounder but some of them fold for storage under a bed or in a closet.

   9. I’d do it on grass if possible. Getting tangled up and biffing it chin-to-ground is a lot worse on a hard floor.

      1. If you were my neighbor and i saw you jumping rope, I’d send you a nice note for inspiring me. This will have to do instead.

   10. I’m a boxer, and jump rope is standard boxing cardio. I love it! When I was WFH, I’d do a quick 3-minute round on our outdoor deck several times a day. Three minutes is short enough to squeeze between calls without causing me to sweat. It’s pretty easy to rack up 25-30 minutes throughout the day. I’d recommend starting with a light fast rope, and then work your way up to a heavier rope — this is great for back/shoulder strength. As you get stronger, you can start to do cross-overs, double-understand, jumping jacks, high-knees, backwards jumps for extra challenge. Lots of amazing jump rope videos on YouTube.

10. Does anyone do art instead of journaling? Any good resources for artwork challenges, like each day a different theme?

    1. I’m not artsy but some of my more creative friends do Inktober for October every now and then. Might be worth looking into some of those prompts?

    2. Very minimalistic and quick, but I do an origami a day for a quick daily art fix. I got “an origami a day” 365 day calendar (each day leaf has instructions which then are used for the next day’s origami). Not a real “challenge” but a fantastic way to start the work day with something positive and have something pretty to look at, and a good ice breaker for Zoom calls.

11. Vent: I have a chronic illness where pregnancy has not previously really been a significant consideration for many people with my condition, for a variety of reasons. They’re trying to get information now about what types of birth control women with my condition use now that pregnancy is more of a possibility. They were having a hard time getting participants so my doctor called me directly to ask me to fill it out. I told her “I’ve never used any form of birth control,” because I’ve never gardened. She said “That’s fine, we just want people to answer it even if they’ve never used anything or didn’t have reason to.” So I did. Then I got a follow up email saying “Thanks for filling out the survey! Would you be willing to do a call?” I emailed back and said “Yes, but I’m not sure how helpful it will be to get my information since I’ve never been s*ually active.” “That’s no problem.” OK, sure. Got the call today and it just got more and more awkward as the study coordinator doing the call asked me every single form of birth control. She told me she had to go through all the questions when I tried to tell her at first I’ve never used birth control, so I just let her ask them. No, no, no no, no- haven’t used. She got more and more judgmental with her tone throughout the interview. At the very end she said “Really getting down to the wire now, let’s hope one of these is a yes!” I said “Yes” to “abstinence” and she followed up with “Abstinence as a form of control when there’s a partner.” “Oh, then no. I’ve never been active.” Woman paused for like fifteen seconds and then said really snarkily “Really? So…..why did you even answer this survey if you’ve never (gardened) with a parter?” BECAUSE YOU ALL ASKED ME TO. I told them REPEATEDLY I had never been active, so how about less snark and judgment when I spent fifteen minutes of my day answering their questions, feeling progressively more judged throughout it. I’m so embarrassed and upset. I know I could contact my doctor but I don’t want to have to discuss it again, I told her, I told the study staff, and then one of their staffers gets judgey and disbelieving with me? F that.

    1. I am so sorry. That is an awful way to treat another person.

       If you don’t want to discuss it again, write a formal complaint to whomever is running the study.

       1. More thoughts: “I said “Yes” to “abstinence” and she followed up with “Abstinence as a form of control when there’s a partner.””

          What does that even mean?? Yes, if you are dating someone and don’t garden, you are using abstinence as a form of birth control. However, if you have a gardening partner, you’re not abstaining. She’s not even making sense by her own standards and maybe you should include that in whatever complaint you write.

          1. I didn’t understand that either.

          2. That is confusing. Also, what if the reason there isn’t “a partner,” is that you’ve decided to abstain? Doesn’t that still count as birth control in the sense that you’ve chosen it as your method of not getting pregnant?

          3. My guess is it’s referring to “abstaining” from s-x when you think you’re ovulating.

             1. That’s the rhythm method or “natural family planning.” Not abstinence. Abstinence means abstaining completely.

             2. Nope, she made sure to mention that was also not part of it- that was the “fertility planning” control method.

             3. Then the whole thing makes even less sense! Sorry, OP, you are officially Not The A$$hole!

    2. I’m really sorry. That’s awful.

    3. I’m so sorry they wasted your time like that by asking you to participate in the first place. The interviewer also sounds like she was stepping way outside of her role, let alone best practices, in the way she handled it.

       If in the future you feel up to complaining to your doctor, that would be great. But otherwise just sending sympathy.

    4. Oh, man. That’s just awful! You are the President of the Day of the No Good Deed Goes Unpunished Society.

       1. Love this!

    5. This person is the opposite of a good study interviewer. You want the answers to be unbiased so the questions need to be standard and asked the same way of all participants. The interviewer should be as neutral as possible.

       It’s extremely unprofessional of her and I’d honestly report her. Sorry you had to go through this.

    6. Ugh, I’m so sorry! That is so inappropriate. If I were you, I’d email them to explain and complain. They should be held accountable for this.

    7. I’m sorry, I do understand why you’re angry and embarrassed. But as someone who is really old and has never gardened and may never (Muslim, not married, can’t make myself garden without marriage due to faith though I’m not saying 100% of Muslims live that way, just what I do), it’s my rule to never answer questions about that area of my life unless it’s for MY direct medical care. I don’t answer to help science or help a study or any other reason because yeah people do judge and they are rude about it – some mean to be rude; some don’t mean to be but are just so shocked they must say something. And I just don’t need to feel bad about myself. I already feel bad. I know I’m weird esp in western culture, I don’t need anyone rubbing it in for any reason.

       1. Hi both.

          A different angle? Plenty of people have had gardens that weren’t for them and caused regret, disease, unintended pregnancies or more.

          You are free of that whole roller-coaster. What’s so weird/ awful about that?

          Go you. : )

          1. Thank you! I know plenty of people garden with regret whether a one night stand or someone who treated them poorly or whatever. But really is in the west that’s still more “normal” than just never gardening because of faith. Like if I was an unmarried woman in say Oman or Saudi people would expect that I haven’t but here people can be rude about it sometimes purposefully and sometimes not. But I always appreciate it when people are nice about it – like you!

          2. +1 on go you. And don’t feel obligated to answer anyone’s obnoxious judgmental survey. This is why I, as a social scientist, absolutely detest survey research and always design my studies to avoid it. It is intrusive and there is almost always nonresponse bias.

    8. This breaks research protocol on so many ways. Screw them. Seriously.

       1. (or abstain from screwing them, if that’s your jam, and we can find another way to express our anger ;))

          Seriously though, so mad on your behalf!

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