ByKat Hours Updated
Comments 157 Comments

Wednesday’s TPS Report: 3/4 Sleeve Sheath With Drape Neck

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Calvin Klein Women's 3/4 Sleeve Sheath With Drape Neck I'm going to give you a TON of reasons not to like this dress: 1) It's on Amazon, so you've got limited zoom capabilities (plus you have to box it back up if you don't like it). 2) It's “dry clean only.” 3) As with all jewelry-on-the-dress dresses, you'll be limited in your choice of accessories. 4) The memorability factor (did she just wear that dress a week ago?) is high. EVEN WITH all those reasons, though, I'm going to recommend this dress — it looks like a flattering, interesting, great basic piece — and for the price it just might mitigate all those negatives. It's $108 at Amazon. Calvin Klein Women's 3/4 Sleeve Sheath With Drape Neck Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 4/18/25 (Happy Easter if you celebrate!):

  • Nordstrom – New spring markdowns, savings of up to 50%!
  • Ann Taylor – 40% off + extra 15% off your entire purchase
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50%-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 10% off new womenswear
  • The Fold – 25% off selected lines
  • Eloquii – extra 40% off all sale
  • Everlane – Spring sale, up to 70% off
  • J.Crew – Spring Event: 40% off sitewide + extra 40% off all sale
  • J.Crew Factory – 40%-70% off everything + extra 20% off orders over $125
  • Kule – Lots of sweaters up to 50% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Earth Day Sale, take 25% off eco-conscious fabrics. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Rothy's – Final few – Up to 50% off last chance styles; new favorites added
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

157 Comments

  1. Kat, I still can’t see any of the new posts after the blue belt Coffee Break from 7/8. Got here through FB.

    Ahem – did I just get a Nordstrom credit card so I could order a whole bunch of things from the NAS? Yes, yes I did. :D

    3. KAT! I can see the posts now! :)

      The NAS includes a Halogen dress that is VERY similar to the Reiss dress posted earlier this week, if anyone was eying it and wants a similar one for $65. Link to follow.

        1. Oh that is beautiful. Thanks for posting! Nordstrom needs to hurry up and move to Canada so I can throw all my money at them.

          1. Agreed! I looked at the NAS catalogue someone posted yesterday and I want everything.

    4. Same. Cleared the history on my browser (Firefox) and got here through clicking through.

    5. So frustrating this morning. Something is wrong with internet here. Firefox isn’t working at all and IE is sloooooooow. No Google products working at all. So I had to slowly click through to get to this post.

      And Diana Barry, I signed up for a Nordstrom card when I was in DC! I don’t live near a Nordstrom but I figured it would make things easier for returns, etc. And then there’s the NAS. Still stalking those Sam Edelman pumps. They may be my NAS purchase this year.

      1. Ha! I think I bought about $3K worth of stuff. Most of it will be returned (duplicates of boots and leather jackets).

        1. Yeah, last year I ordered several things and ended up returning everything except the Vince Camuto booties, which I wore like crazy this winter.

    7. On Chrome also, cleared cache and cookies, and I still only see the blue belt post with 102 comments on the main page. I can get to new posts by clicking on the “next post” links.

    8. Also for anyone concerned about a credit card, you can get the Nordstrom Rewards card which links to your checking account :) You get all the same benefits.

    9. Did I get up early anticipating spending an hour at NAS online? Yes, yes I did. $1k for me, $1k for hubs, I assume we’ll keep 25% or less. I picked up the Trina Turk ponte a-line dress in purple (690328 / $180.90), the La Marque Funnel Neck leather jacket in purple (689446 / $298), the Eliza J fit & flare dress in purple (689109 / $64.90), the DvF Gabi in black (697654 / $229.90), the CE ponte surplice dress in purple (665398 / $149.90), the CE rachel weave dress in blue (665403 / $165.90) and a bunch of Shimera camis (144167, 295299) which I wear every day. Now to hunt for tops!

  2. I’m not seeing them, either. I can only see new posts (anything post 7/8) through FaceBook.

  4. I’ll be traveling to the PNW in a month for a much-needed vacation! I’ve never been to that area before, so I’m looking for your travel suggestions. The only arrangements made are flying into YVR Thursday, and hotel reservations through Saturday night in Vancouver, flying out of PDX 10 days later. I’ll be running a 1/2 marathon on Saturday (any other Seawheezers out there?) but that’s the only “thing to do” I have planned.

    I’ll be traveling with my boyfriend, and we’ve talked about traveling Vancouver > Seattle > Portland, but are open to side trips. We like craft beer, good food (vegetarian for me), shopping, museums, art, and books.

    So, what are your must see/eat/dos in the PNW? Any suggestions for where to spend the bulk of our time? TIA!

    1. You have to go to Powell’s Books in Portland, no question. There’s nothing like it; it takes up an entire city block with several stories of books. Also from Portland, I’d also be inclined to rent a car and drive up the Columbia Gorge; stop and go for a hike along the way. It’s the kind of landscape you won’t see many other places.

      You might also consider a trip to the Olympic Peninsula from Seattle, which is unbelievably stunning, but might be further afield than you want to go considering you’re trying to fit in three full cities.

      City-wise, I’d focus on Vancouver and Portland; Seattle is nice – and by all means stop there (and do a tour of the library!) but the other two have a more distinct character, IMO.

      1. Although I love Portland, I think of all three cities you should focus the most time on Vancouver. It’s the biggest and most interesting, with a really diverse population and absolutely beautiful setting. It also really has a foreign feel to it–you know you’re not in the US anymore. I don’t really know why, it just does. Go to Stanley Park (big wooded park with great trails), Granville Island (great market and art galleries), and the West End (good people watching with little cafes), Robson is the shopping street (I think). Gastown is a touristy area, but it’s super-cute and has good bars.

        1. Vancouver us truly wonderful (I grew up in Portland so I am biased, but still). I also like the anthropology museum at the University of British Columbia, which sounds random but has some amazing native Northwest art.

    3. There are a lot of great vegetarian restaurants in Portland. Portobello Trattoria is vegan and rated one of the best restaurants in town, Vita Cafe is vegetarian (but they randomly will add bacon to certain dishes), Luc Lac has a lot of great vegetarian Vietnamese dishes, and Natural Selection regularly gets rave reviews. Generally, the food is just amazing. A good restaurant guide is at wweek dot com (Willamette Week is a weekly Portland magazine). There are too many good restaurants to list in this post. Same with beer.

      Portland is all about its little neighborhoods. If you can rent some bikes, I think that’s the best way to see the city. Just bike over to the East side and find the North Mississippi and Williams neighborhoods for food/shopping/art, NE Alberta food/art, NE Irvington for some beautiful houses from the early 1900s, Laurelhurst Park is an amazing city park great for picnics and people watching, Inner East Burnside has hot bars and restaurants (the Doug Fir is very popular with people from out of town), SE Hawthorne has lots of boutiques and shops, and SE Division is the best street for food. On the West side of the river go to the Pearl District and NW 23rd for some good shopping, or the West End of downtown. It’s also a more yuppie area if that’s more what you’re into, instead of the hipster thing.

      I’ll also second Em’s suggestion that you go to the Gorge. I think it’s one of the most beautiful places ever. Hood River is a really cute town that has lots of brewpubs and other little restaurants.

      1. Seconding everything Em & MH said, but also here are a few Portland haunts I miss*:
        N. Mississippi has my favorite store: the Meadow (so many salts!! and bitters! chocolate wine flowers! all the best things!) and great coffee at Albina Press; the rest of the street is hit or miss.
        Restaurants: Beast, Park Kitchen, Le Pigeon (I don’t know how veg friendly Le Pigeon is).
        Dessert: Pix Patisserie

        *grew up & moved back for a bit as an adult, but moved away a few years ago — which is only to say there are probably tons of new hipper places that I don’t bother to explore when I visit.

        1. Beast is AMAZING but not vegetarian friendly. At all. Le Pigeon is more veg-friendly, and they will make substitutes. Beast won’t. Higgins is fantastic and veg-friendly. Pretty old-school Portland as far as restaurants are concerned.

          1. Higgins also has an amazing imported beer list. If you like Belgian beers–and I really really do–they have the best selection in town. But if you’re going more the craft beer route, hit up Green Dragon, or any of the awesome breweries.

            Other meat-heavy restaurants that may be recommended to you are Ox and Laurelhurst Market. Probably avoid those.

    4. Go to Voodoo Donuts in Portland. Also, Papa Hayden’s (never sure if I’m spelling that right) in Portland in the Pearl District is great for dessert. I agree with the suggestions to drive through the Gorge too.

      From how you describe your interests, I think you’ll love the Pacific Northwest! Have fun!

    5. Vancouver has a great vegetarian restaurant called the Naam. Service is pretty slow (damn hippies! lol), and there can be a line-up to get in, but OMG delicious. Their fries with vegan gravy are to die for. In general though, Vancouver is pretty great for veggie options.

    6. Yay! You are going to be in my neck of the woods!

      The weather this time of year is gorgeous and the scenery is beautiful. You will love us. :-)

      Basically the entire PNW is Food Central. I can give you a million suggestions for Vancouver restaurants, but will need some more time to put my list together so will revisit this.

      In terms of things to do, if the weather is good it is nice to just walk around the seawall on English Bay and Stanley Park – a great way to spend a morning and what many Vancouverites do on weekends. The best museum in town, in my view, is the Museum of Anthropology at UBC – they have a gorgeous location as well as a unique collection of BC native art and cultural objects. We also have a good art gallery, downtown.

      For shopping, the areas where you will find a concentration of local/boutique shops as opposed to chains are Main Street, West 4th Ave. and Granville Island Public Market.

      I can give you lots more information – send me an e-mail if you like, to figonthames at the Google mail service.

    7. I love that part of the world. Vancouver is awesome. But in addition to the cities you mentioned, you might be interested in going out to the San Juan islands. For example, you could take a sea plane from Vancouver to Victoria, have high tea and visit the Buchart Gardens in Victoria, then take a ferry to the San Juan Islands (or maybe Anacortes — I can’t quite remember the logistics here). Whidbey Island and Orcas Islands are both fun. We’ve picked berries, gone crabbing, seen killer whale pods, biked, and swum in island ponds. So gorgeous. It might be a nice interlude between the cities of Vancouver and Portland. And personally, while Seattle is a great city, I’d be inclined to skip it in exchange for some nature.

      Have a great, great time!

      1. Yes – after the Saturday, this is certainly something you could do, if you won’t need to rent a car until after you leave Vancouver (or really, even if you do…)

        The San Juan Islands are called the Gulf Islands in Canada. The biggest of these is Salt Spring Island and it is wonderful – lots of artisans, musicians, a great Saturday market, etc. You need a car to get around Salt Spring so if you wanted to go there you could take a ferry (with your rental car) from Vancouver, then either go back to the Mainland when you have finished on Salt Spring, or continue to Victoria.

        If you want to skip the Gulf Islands but go to Victoria, you could take the seaplane from Vancouver to Victoria (half-hour flight) (or if you have a car already, take the ferry from Vancouver to Victoria), spend a day in Victoria (including going whale watching – you can do that from the Victoria Harbour) and then take the ferry from Victoria to Seattle or Anacortes. The seaplane between Vancouver and Victoria is truly spectacular. I take it pretty frequently so tend to be a bit blase about it, and forget how wonderful it is until I am with a bunch of tourists! If you don’t have a car, you can take a ferry or seaplane (not as pretty a flight as Vancouver-Victoria) direct from Victoria to downtown Seattle, which if very convenient (the ferry is passenger only). If you do have a car, you can take a ferry from just outside Victoria to Anacortes, WA, and drive down from there.

        Victoria has a very cool museum (the Royal BC Museum) and a gorgeous little art gallery which has a wonderful Emily Carr collection. It also has way better Thai food than Vancouver. Just saying. You can tell what matters to me. :-)

        Tea at the Empress Hotel is totally overpriced and super touristy, though admittedly fun. If you are interested in high tea in Victoria I can suggest other options – e-mail me at the e-mail address above if desired.

    8. Fair warning, all my Seattle recommendations are for the neighborhoods north of downtown.

      In Seattle, I’d go to Ballard for craft beers. There are about 8 small breweries that opened in the past year or two. Reuben’s, Hilliard’s, NW Peak, Populuxe, Peddler’s, and a few others are all really good. While you’re in Ballard, you can go see the Locks between Lake Union and Puget Sound. If you’re lucky, there will be a salmon run then, and you can see them in the fish ladder. There are lots of restaurants in Ballard as well. I love the Walrus and the Carpenter, but I’m not sure how much vegetarian food there is there. Other delicious options in Fremont, one neighborhood over, are Brouwer’s and the Sixgill. Also, if possible, you should do a Theo’s Chocolate factory tour. You get to see how chocolate is made from beans. It’s pretty awesome, and there are a lot of samples.

    9. You guys are amazing!! Thank you so much for all the incredible recommendations. I haven’t read them all, but I’ll be printing this thread to add to my travel folder!

  5. I totaly LOVE this sheath dress!!!!! The neckline is high enough that Frank will NOT be abel to stare at me!

    Double Yay to the webmeister! The websight is finaly back up and running. I know how trying it can be when your IT is down. We have terible IT suport here–the IT guy come’s ONLEY when Lynn begs him to, and then he is usually busy stareing at Lynn and me instead of fixing thing’s quickly. I hope our new space will be better.

    The manageing partner is lookeing at a place on West 43rd Street, and another one down here in the East 20’s. I hope we stay on the EAST side so that I do NOT have to take a BUS to work. FOOEY on the busse’s!

    Myrna just got a big promotion at work. She is NOW a director! YAY! It is diferent for her b/c she was a vice president, but most peeople start there. It is alot different in LEGAL job’s, I told her. She still has along way to go if she want’s to be like I will be — a PARTNER!!!!! She is thriled for me and my deal that dad degoteaited for me. She said she would work for me some day if she get’s out of the finance industry. I think she would be great in the office. Frank might STOP stareing at me. If ONLEY!!!!! Myrna has met Frank and think’s he has some issue with his eye’s. I agreed. I said they alway’s focus on our boobies! FOOEY on that!

  7. How do you let your SO of a year know something is bothering you without being a nag? Do you wait and see if it still bothers you later that day/the next day/in a week and then mention it? Or do you need to address it as it happens? Does it depend on the situation if you immediately react and do you pick your battles?

    I tend to think through things and give it time, sort of “there must be a reason he said/did/reacted…” and often, I can see what that might be. But I wonder if I should have more instinctive reactions and respond more quickly instead of finding myself still distracted by something a week later and then thinking the time has passed to bring it up. I want to assume kindness is where I should begin, but I know kindness does not equal a doormat. But maybe, it does ???

    Thank you, wise Ladies.

    1. Generally I wouldn’t hesitate to talk about something bothering me, so maybe more context would help? What are ypu worried about/ wanting to say to him? If it’s about the tootpaste, that gets “naggy” but something more significant seems up for discussion.

      1. We were invited to a come-and-go event, and we RSVPd to attend. He decided not to go and didn’t text me to let me know this until I was en route to the event. It’s weird because it’s the first time something like that has happened in a year. I didn’t say anything the day of or the next day (though in hindsight, I should’ve). I was stunned, hurt but then also wondering what could’ve led to this and thinking I’d figure it out. I told him that was embarrassing for me and for him, and he seemed to think I was overreacting. He said he didn’t want to talk about it but apologized the next day. Not quite in a “I’m sorry you overreacted” way but not with a “I’m sorry my actions hurt you” way either.

        1. Something like this is definitely worth discussing as soon after the event as you are calm enough to do so. You had plans and he cancelled at the 11th hour. IMHO, that is different than something like “You left your dirty dishes in the sink this morning even though I’ve asked you not to” which I would probably not bring up every single time it happened and see if the problem fixed itself. If it hadn’t fixed itself after a few weeks, then I would bring it up.

          1. Wow, I would be stunned too and feel like I had been stood up, especially since it wasn’t some last minute emergency that prevented him from attending. I think you are completely right to bring it up whenerever you can do so calmly. Is this a long standing pattern of behavior?

        2. Without going into too much detail my husband started doing this and it ended up being something pretty serious he was hiding. Not to make you paranoid but I think that if it repeats definitely make it clear with consequences that you won’t tolerate it.

          1. Thank you for sharing this, A. I will certainly not let it linger should it happen again. There is a sort of, “but I know him! And he’s not usually like this. What’s up?” But when I read your husband started pulling this, it reminds me people can surprise you, and it’s better to try to address it up front.

        3. His defensiveness about it is more troubling to me than the original deed (bailing at the last minute w/barely any real notification).

          Is he always this defensive when he’s in the wrong? If this is an aberration, I’d not dwell on it.

          If this is his pattern, this may be something for you two to work on. As in– letting him know that he’s in a safe space– he can be wrong, make mistakes, and own up to them and still be confident that you still love him and respect him.

          That said, if you provide that kind of “safe environment” and he still won’t own up to being wrong, then he may be hiding something, or, he may be kind of an a-hole. Life gets mighty tiresome with someone who f’s things up and never really admits to wrongdoing.

          1. I agree – the original deed stung a bit, but I was surprised by the defensiveness and the inability to understand that this wasn’t ok. No, he’s not usually this defensive, so I think that made it more strange. That, and since I tend to not jump on every little thing and only address things that bug me that linger, I suppose I expect to really be listened to when I do bring up a concern since it’s hard to dismiss it with, “oh, there she goes again!”

    2. I just say it as they happen. Or more accurately, the first time we’re alone after it happens. That way, it’s out in the open and we can move on. Plus, the feeling doesn’t grow larger and the negative behavior does not happen again.

      I hate it when people secretly hate something, don’t tell me, and then get more irritated when I do whatever it is again. Just tell me! My DH is on the same page. He loves it because he does not have to worry about his wife secretly stewing. If I haven’t said anything, it’s fine.

      It’s not nagging to be honest with one another. (Frankly, a guy who doesn’t care about his impact on me and accuses me of “nagging” when I explain myself isn’t a guy I want to be with.) Plus, incredibly few things bother me so this is not a common occurrence.

    3. I let context be a guide…. I try not to nag, but at the same time, I would want to know if I was doing something that was irritating. If it’s small and easily correctable, then in the moment makes sense. But if it’s something larger, I might wait a day or two, and then just say, you know, this happened a couple days ago and even though it’s not a huge deal, it’s still bothering me. A week feels too long.

    6. Here’s what is working for me:

      (1) Sit with the slight for a while and see if I’m still upset about it in a bit.
      (2) If yes, so state, as soon as I can do so calmly. “When you said X, I felt like I wanted to cry. That was hurtful.” “I realize our plans to meet up together with our friends were tentative, but I would have appreciated being informed that you had decided not to come.”

      Course, this is working for me because the guy I am seeing is actually considerate and thoughtful most of the time and doesn’t greet these statements defensively.

  8. Do any of you have experience purchasing a pre-forclosure?

    A condo in the building where I rent my apartment was listed as a pre-forclosure on Trulia and Zillow. They say a Notice of Lis Pendens was issued in Dec 2012 and it looks like the property was listed then removed a few times in the past two years. I’m seriously thinking about trying to buy it, but I have no idea how to do that or where to start. Any tips or advice? If it helps, I’m in the greater Boston area. Thanks!

    1. You’ll need to find out if the bank owns it (foreclosure) or if the town does (tax sale). There should be a public deed to the property filed somewhere with your city. Then approach the bank (if the bank owns it) about buying it. It’s pretty difficult to accomplish from what I understand, but I’ve never done it.

    2. Which county? You can look on the deeds website (g**gle it) and then look up the property’s address. Sort by date and you can get the most recent deed = who owns it. It may still be pre-foreclosure (it takes a LONG time). You can also see what the latest document filed was, etc.

      Note on the deeds website: you may have to look under BOTH recorded and registered land. Registered land (Land Court) is more of a pain to deal with.

      1. It’s in Norfolk county. What do I do once I find out who owns it?

        1. Norfolk research dot org is the website – unfortunately it uses java and is kind of a pain.

          If Zillow lists the prior real estate agent (assuming the pre-foreclosure owner still owns it), you can contact them and see what the status is, whether the owner would be willing to sell, any conditions on the sale. Then you can try contacting the owner with a note under the door or ask condo mgmt, etc.

          If it is bank owned, then you can try contacting the bank, but it may take a while and you might also get the run-around between departments. Probably better if it is a local bank.

          Also, I have a very good real estate lawyer if you need one. You can email me at dianabarry r e t t e at gmail and get his name.

          1. Definitely get a really good attorney on this since if it is in pre-foreclosure, the property may be laden with other liens and issues which you should factor into your purchase price.

          3. Yikes. This may be more of a headache than it’s worth, huh? So first steps would be to contact the owner or realty group to find out the status of the property, right? Should I get an agent now or should I do that part myself and get an agent if it’s available?

        2. You should know that in MA, even after foreclosure, if the former owner is still living in the house it can be VERY difficult to evict them. At the eviction proceeding they have the opportunity to raise all sorts of challenges to the bank’s title, and it’s not uncommon for them to win. Also, google the SJC cases Eaton, Bevilaqua, and Ibanez. I wouldn’t rely on the word of whoever owns the property according to the registry records as to the true ownership.

    3. I can’t speak for your country, but if you go to the county courthouse website, usually you can look up delinquent properties and get a list of the debts owed on them (liens, etc). It’ll tell you if/when it’s on the docket for sheriff’s sale and give you a history of all the times it’s been up, if it’s ever been up and has been stayed, and so on. All of that stuff should be public information and if it’s not online, you can probably visit the courthouse in person to obtain it. You can also look up information on the seller to see if they’re being sued by anyone, are getting divorced, etc if you want to be nosy and get a picture of the situation they’re in. Pre-foreclosure probably means you’ll have to submit an offer to the owner who will have to get it approved by the bank.

      I would start by contacting the owner to see if they’re interested in selling. If they’re not, you’ll have to wait until it gets foreclosed upon, which could take a long time, at which point it’ll probably be put up for auction or will be sold by the bank. Sometimes the foreclosure never happens and the person is able to work something out to keep the property.

    4. We did this, and it was a bit of a saga. We first looked at our house when it was a pre-foreclosure, and a “short sale.” Made an offer, but the bank wasn’t giving permission for the homeowners to take any of them. The house went to trustee sale / auction. If we had had the cash, we could have picked up our house at auction for about $280k (we paid $420k, ultimately). No one showed up at the auction, so title reverted to the bank. In this case it was Deutche.

      Then the bank put it on the market as REO (real estate owned) and listed it at $280 to start a bidding war. Our advantage was that we had been stalking this house for so long, we knew what the primary mortgage balance was (just over $400) so we knew they weren’t going to let it go for less than that. We put in an offer at $420k and got it.

      From the first time we looked at the house (October 2007) to getting the keys (August 1 2008) the entire process took about 10 months.

      Do contact the owners, maybe by mail first, and see if you can work something out. The bank has to agree on the price if it is less than what they owe, but it is possible. Ditto on checking the liens, and going with a real estate attorney if you’re not comfortable doing all of that yourself.

  9. CALLING BUNKSTER & RU! I haven’t seen posts from these ladies in some time (anyone have any word on them? did I miss something?) and I always enjoyed their insights. Also, Ru, I’m wondering how you are feeling.

    That is all. :)

    1. Also calling Bluejay, Mamabear, Research Not Law…. seems lots of people have left and it’s sad.

    2. Bunkster is here. Just not Bunkster. Just sayin’ But yeah, mamabear has been gone for awhile. Unless she changed her name. Maybe just busy with work?

      1. I can never figure out who people are after they change their names. I’m still trying to figure out what Little Lurker changed her name to!

          1. There are several people on here who have changed their names (announced or unannounced) and yet are still recognizable due to either writing style, details, or a combination. It sort of boggles the mind.

          2. I clearly don’t pay enough attention! I’m sure people can tell its me if I try to ask something anonymously, but sometimes I try anyway.

  10. Question for DH, he has very sensitive skin, and shaving seems to leave his neck red and bumpy no matter what, especially after his shirt collar rubs on the newly shaved skin all day. Any advice for products??
    Also, still only seeing the blue belt post even after clearing out cache, cookies, etc. Only able to get here through FB. I’m on iPhone Safari.

    1. My husband has a similar reaction — we bought him a moisturizer (but a MANLY moisturizer in a steel grey container – it makes me laugh) in a sensitive skin formulation, and I think it’s helping a little. I’ll be interested to see if anyone has any other suggestions. I wonder if a little hydrocortisone cream after shaving would help.

      1. Art of Shaving really helped DH. He did the whole routine for a while. Then his skin was in good enough shape that he just used the pre-shave oil. Now he seems pretty happy with Aveeno shave cream and Nivea sensitive skin after-shave. He liked the Billy Jealousy shave gel too. Shaving at the end of the shower allows the hair to soften up and reduces irritation as well.

    3. Many African American men have this issue. I would suggest the tips in the following article for reducing irritation. It’s very detailed!

    4. Get him an old fashioned straight razor! It sounds counter intuitive but it really works. My SO had the same problem and hated shaving as a result, but he got an old fashioned razor and cream from Art of Shaving and it has gone *completely* solved that problem. He even shaves on weekends now (much to my dismay – I love how s*xy he looks all stubly!). It may take him a few tries to get the hang of a different razor and he may need to experiment with actual blades to see what he likes, but it’s really a game changer. FYI: there’s a website online where you can order a bunch of different blades to see which ones are best; my SO has settled on some Japanese ones, but to each their own preference. Also: this will save you a ton of money in the long run because once you buy the razor, the blades are super cheap (unlike the latest Mach Whatever).

    6. My husband has a similar issue, and he uses either the unscented Aveeno moisturizer or the Vaseline Aloe lotion…though he would never admit to such a thing. :)

      Both of them are light and unscented, so he doesn’t feel like he’s lathering on a girly product. His usual process is to shave and then shower so he puts on the lotion right after showering. Seems to keep the dry skin in check pretty well.

  11. Does anyone have a rolling laptop bag that you particularly like? I’m in the market for a new one.

  12. What does “black tie” mean for women? My husband is in a wedding next weekend, and will be wearing the standard groomsman tux. I had a few sheath dresses in mind, but was just reminded that it is black tie. So, for a summer wedding, do I still need to look for a long gown? Any suggestions for <$200? TYIA!

    1. If it’s black tie, I would wear a long gown in a summery color and chiffon-like fabric. If it’s black tie optional, wear a cocktail dress.

    2. I’ve been to a few black tie weddings and almost everyone seemed to ignore it and wear cocktail dresses.

      1. Yep. This may be regional, but I haven’t seen anyone outside of the bridal party under the age of 40 wear a long gown at a black tie wedding in NYC. I’ve only wore long dresses for more casual weddings (where the dress was not dressy and it was more of a beachy vibe).

    3. I always wear a long gown for black tie, and maintain that’s the whole point if having a dress code, but lots of people wear short dresses nowadays. You’ll likely be fine in a cocktail dress, but a fancy one, maybe a bit glitzy, pretty fabric etc. My go to for gowns is rent the runway. Love that most long gowns are available in 2 lengths, so I can usually find something my height.

        1. Question on Rent the Runway: How do you have any idea which size is likely to fit you or whether a gown will look good on you or not?

          1. I read the size charts, check out the photos on real women, and their fit tips. And you get to order 2 sizes Then I pick a style that generally suits me. So, I look great in blues, and v-necks, and swishy skirts. Off line, I might try a coral sheath, but online I stick with what usually works.

          2. The reviews are great and helpful. I’ve rented twice and had a great fit twice. I’m 5’8″ and wore 3″ heels with a Badgley Mischka gown in the long size and found it dragged a little.

          3. You can also chat with their specialists – they’re usually pretty good about letting you know if something runs big or small, and where.

      2. I’m with Anne Shirley on black tie = long gown, for me at least. What’s the point of specifying “black tie” if you don’t want people to dress up? It does depend on your location, though – my experience in London was that women were far more likely to wear long gowns for a black tie function than they do here in urban Canada.

    4. I think that, at least currently, black tie means dressy cocktail or long gowns, and more likely dressy cocktail length. This may be location-specific though. I’m in urban-Canada.

    5. I wore a short dress to a black tie wedding recently but accessorized with fancy shoes, earrings, up-do for the hair so that I fit more with the general theme. I left comfortable — it was about 30% short v. 70% long dresses. Second suggestion on Rent the Runway — esp since you can get multiple sizes to try…

    6. In honor of yesterday’s thread about wedding invites, I vote for something long with a tier of ruffles.

      If you were in the first tier of invites sent out by the couple, you wear 1 tier of ruffles.
      If second tier, 2 tiers of ruffles, and so on.
      If the number of tiers > 3, you are hereby allowed to tack the tiers of ruffles onto a polyester-velour track suit. ;-)

  13. Report on the pearl necklace I ordered from pearl paradise a few weeks ago:

    http://www.pearlparadise.com/100110-mm-Tahitian-Baroque-Pearl-Leather-Necklace3419.aspx

    I LOVE it! I may have wanted to go with the longer length, but it actually works very well with my higher necked blouses that I frequently wear to work. Perfect under a suit!! Shipping was a bit on the slow side, I think it took almost 2 weeks to get here, but it was very nicely packaged, with some pearl cleaning wipes, a cloth, and an appraisal certificate that was actually GIA stamped. So that was nice.

    Highly recommended! I’m sure I’ll now be watching their sales and buying more :)

    Now if my dang escrow would just close on this renovation loan, I could go off of the shopping ban. (Underwriters are requiring a “letter of explanation” for almost every purchase and deposit that isn’t payroll. Very obnoxious.)

  14. Did anyone else hit the NAS today? I did online. I got a few tops and The Skirt in green. I spent a lot less than I did last year when the NAS started.

    1. Was pretty disappointed by the selection. I picked up some new Nike workout pants and sports bras, and a couple jumbo-sized beauty items of stuff I already know I like. Definitely spent way less than last year.

    2. I just got back from the NAS (yay–personal stylist!). I got four tops, a sweater/cardigan, and a dress. These are the ones of those I could find on the website.

      http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/tory-burch-hadley-top/3504442?origin=category&BaseUrl=Women
      http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/tory-burch-etta-print-blouson-dress/3504470?origin=category&BaseUrl=Women
      http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/joie-daryn-print-silk-top/3509122?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=106&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-1_2_A

    3. I got The Skirt in red and in green. Have been wanting it in a true red for ages and hopefully this will be it. Trying to hold back otherwise because of my divorce-related Reduced Circumstances.

      1. Makes me think of the book written by Alexander McCall Smith & Iain McIntosh: _At the Villa of Reduced Circumstances_. :-)

        I think of your getting the skirt in red as a celebration of the divorce. I’ve been following your story and (until now) silently applauding your strength and bravery. Here’s to the fabulous rest of your life!

      2. I got it in red too. I’ve been looking for a true red skirt for a while and hope the color does not disappoint.

    4. I got up in the middle of the night to shop it right when it went live and after an hour of drowsy browsing, did not order one thing. I’ve been looking again this morning to see if I was just skimming too fast or setting a high bar in the wee hours, but still nothing is grabbing me. Really disappointed with the selection this year.

      1. I’m disappointed. I was going to splurge on a nice pair of heeled black boots since I finally retired the ones I’ve had for 4 years and there’s nothing that catches my eye.

        I may get a couple of bras, underwear, workout tops and make-up, just because I always need those things and the prices are pretty good.

      1. NICE! (well, not that she has to file the complaint, but that she’s actually fighting)

    2. Not laying blame, but how much of this problem can be summarized by this one line: “[she] had never asked for a raise”? From what I understand a large amount of the pay disparity comes simply because women do not advocate for themselves (negotiating for a higher starting salary as well as asking for subsequent raises) as much as men do.

      1. But she did, ultimately. Prof. Marsh did raise the issue very late in the game, and after the death of Prof. Ann Scales, who had championed the issue. Then Katz refused to do anything about it.

        Did you not read this part?:
        “He [Katz]
        did, however, tell her that she was the lowest paid professor on the faculty.
        Marsh’s current salary is $109,000. Katz said her competitive target salary is $181,000.
        “I was very, very surprised,” Marsh said. “At the end of the meeting, I asked what he was going to do about it, and he said, ‘nothing.’ “

      2. No, a large amount of pay disparity does not come from this. A large amount of pay disparity comes from an entrenched culture of women being seen as less valuable, and not worthy of higher paid positions / higher pay. It has little to do with the fact that we’re not asking and everything to do with the fact that we do not live in an as enlightened society as we’d like to think.

      3. I agree.

        My father was a Scientist at a major national laboratory for many years. Only when he left that job, and was doing his exit paperwork, was he accidentally given a copy of all the job categories and their salaries.

        He discovered that his exit salary, which hadn’t increased in 10 years, was more the $10,000 less then the lowest starting salary in his Scientist category, which had no cap on the top end.

        He never once had asked for a raise. He is completely oblivious to politics and it would have never occurred to him that he should ask.

  16. I found these sandals (link to follow) a year or so ago, and I LOVE them. I should have purchased multiple pairs, but alas, I did not. I can’t find them anywhere for sale, and my current pair is falling apart a little. Has anyone seen anything similar?

  17. Just wanted to put in an unsolicited plug for the L’Oreal Sublime Bronze tanning towels. These things are great! No streaks, I could see some color after the first use, and they are super-easy to use. Now if I could find an easier way to apply on my back (other than drafting DH into service)…

    1. I think everyone in the world should delay discussing this as a “women” issue and let us all deal with this as, you know, individual people with our own priorities and life situations. I HATE pieces like this. (Looking at you, too, Atlantic, Slate, et al.).

      Get off my reproductive lawn!

      1. +1, but also, it’s a whole human being issue, not just a women’s issue. If women decide not to have kids, that’s going to impact the men eventually. I think there are enough risks and difficulties with everything about becoming a parent at any age that everyone should decide for him or herself.

      2. I haven’t even read the article yet, but + 1,000,000 to this response. All other things being equal, perhaps we could identify the ideal age at which to have children. But individual circumstances are all unique.

    2. Ugh. Why is all the blame for “waiting” heaped on women?! (In fairness, the linked article did have 1 of 5 “stories” about men waiting–if only to avoid genetic defects).

      My personal truth is that I was ready for kids in my 20s–I expected to have 2-3 kids by now (mid 30s). My boyfriends during my 20s and early thirties all insisted they wanted kids “but not right now”. They were delaying marriage and children just as much (if not more) than I was.

      I will take some of the blame for “waiting” but really? At least as much blame ought to be given to the men I’ve dated. They didn’t want to settle yet either. I’m not alone in this situation among the single (and married) childless women I know.

      1. Yes yes yes yes yes! I don’t know why this aspect of women “delaying” motherhood is always overlooked. I could easily name a dozen female friends who would have liked to have kids earlier, or have kids at all, but the men in their lives just weren’t on board. I guess they could have gone it alone, but single motherhood is a big step (no offense and much awe to all those who manage parenting on their own).

        It makes me so angry that these types of articles always seem to act like women everywhere just have tons of suitable partners begging them to reproduce, but the women just refuse to do so.

      2. +1 to all of this. Emphatically. You date a guy for a year or so, you get along great and could see yourself growing old with him, but he’s comfortable with where he is in life and isn’t interested in taking on more responsibility. So you give him some more time thinking that will make the difference. But another year later, he’s still confortable and you’re too resentful to continue with the relationship. Rinse. Repeat. And suddenly you’re over 30 and single with no prospects. Even on dating websites, the vast majority of men under 35 answer “Maybe” or “Someday” in the “Wants kids?” section. And then you start to hear guys over 35 saying, well I WANTED kids but it never happened and now I’m happy just being an uncle.

        I used to think I was put on this earth to be a mother. I have always made finding a relationship a priority in my life. I did not “delay” or “put my career first.” I sacrificed for men who gave me only disappointment in return. I’ve given second and third and god only knows how many chances to men who I loved and who said they loved me but just give them a little more time… all for nothing. I now have to face that I may never have children – something I’ve dreamed of for as long as I can remember. And yet *I* get all the blame because a long string of men just didn’t feel like settling down.

        1. Are you me? Seriously.

          I must admit that after facing the “what if I never have kids” question, I don’t really care about having kids anymore. If it happens: well, that’s…great. If it doesn’t: eh, no biggie–I’ll retire early.

      3. Also wanted to add that men seemed to think that they could have children forever without drawbacks (e.g., Anna Nicole Smith’s husband, etc) and it seems it’s only been in the last year that the reality of old sperm affecting children has come out.

        Am tempted to ask my bf to get his sperm frozen just in case…

    3. 1. I don’t think you can frame this as a question for all women. The answer is “it depends.”
      2. Also, can we define “delay”? Are we just talking about happily married women who could have a baby now but choose to have one five years later? Ten years later? What about the women who didn’t meet the right person until they were “older”? What about women who didn’t meet the right person but also weren’t putting themselves in a position to meet that person (e.g., working 100 hr weeks, constant traveling, etc.)? What exactly is it we’re asking whether women should or should not do?
      3. WHAT ABOUT THE MEN!? One guy in that article touches on it briefly, but in most cases it’s not “women” delaying children, but a couple making that decision together. The Murphy Browns of the world are rare. My husband was completely uninformed about age and fertility when we met (he’s probably much better informed about fertility these days than he ever wished to be). Why would a well-educated, well-read man in his late 20s not know about fertility when it seems like every woman in the same demographic is bombarded with 1,000s of messages about it? Let’s make it a people issue and not a women’s issue.
      4. In fact, can we make all of these family-related discussions people issues and not women’s issues? (ahem, Slate XX blog)

      1. Number 2 is something I think about a lot. I am in my early/mid twenties and wonder if I should be taking “finding a partner” more seriously. I travel a lot, work a lot, and have a lot of friends and hobbies I enjoy. Finding a boyfriend is not something I’m particularly concerned about. I date, and have had a few serious-ish relationships. But, at the moment I’m not really bothered. I would like to have children on the younger end of the spectrum ideally, and perhaps I should be seeing finding someone as a job (I think someone on this board suggested something along these lines once). Am I otherwise setting myself up for finding myself single and childless much later than I would like?

        But isn’t it a little off putting to be that person searching for a partner? It seems so old fashioned, like “women need men, must find husband” sort of thing. I am perfectly happy at this moment without a male partner, but I realize I wouldn’t be forever.

        1. FWIW, I don’t think you need to approach dating as a job, but rather think about just being more deliberate in your dating style. I felt The Defining Decade helped me understand this idea when I was ~21.

        2. I agree with goldribbons. Also, I know it seems old-fashioned to be “marriage-minded” in dating, but I think it can be harmful to think that marriage is something that just “happens” to you. Like you’re going to lock eyes with someone and realize “yes! yes! this is the one!” That happens to like two people a year. I think what can make the difference is figuring out what you’re willing to give up to find that relationship and make it work.

          When I was younger, the idea of putting any of my career on hold or taking a career detour for a relationship was unthinkable. A friend was severely limited in her choice of grad schools because she had an SO. I was horrified at the thought of not being able to go to my first choice law school just because of some guy. (And, ultimately, I think one reason the relationship I was in when I was applying to law school didn’t work out because I clearly wasn’t in the right mindset.) So I think there are choices you can make that seem innocuous at the time that ultimately leave you single for longer. For example, you’re about three months into a really promising relationship and an opportunity opens up to work abroad for the next two months. Do you go? Or you have a job that often requires you to cancel plans at the last minute. Maybe a new guy understands the first time or two this happens, but since he’s not really invested in the relationship yet, maybe he’s not up for this happening five times in a row.

          Also, I don’t think this is purely a throw-back “women need men” thing. I think men who make a lot of these choices (move away because of work, work crazy hours and have to cancel plans) are also making it more difficult to get into a serious relationship. I do think, unfortunately, that women tend to be more forgiving of these things than men, meaning that a guy who works 70 hr wks might have an easier time starting a relationship than a woman who works the same job. It’s completely not fair, but I think it’s also still the way things are. (But maybe you don’t want a guy like that, so it could also be a useful filter.) So this is all a long way of saying that if you want to be married and have a family, while I agree with Sandberg that you shouldn’t give up on your career because of some hypothetical man and children, I’d also say that it’s not unwise to date in a way that promotes the likelihood of developing the kind of relationship likely to lead to (a good) marriage.

      2. I agree with all of this but I would add that the readiness disparity is one reason that some women I know choose to date older men and some older men want to date younger women. I even remember when my parents got divorced and my dad (who was much older than my mom when they got married) wanted to date younger women than her because he was still thinking about having another child. Likewise, a good friend of mine who wanted to have kids at a young age and ended up having her first at 25, made a point of dating men in their early to mid thirties (at that time) because she said guys her own age weren’t interested in starting a family. A lot of our mutual friends thought it was a bit odd when she dated guys who were 35 or 38 but it’s what worked for her.

        1. I completely get that. I’m three years older than my husband and it’s a bit of an issue. I was 30 when we met and I was very clear that I wanted children and I wanted to start having them by 35. This threw him because he’d always assumed he’d marry a woman younger than he was, so he figured kids wouldn’t be in the picture until he himself was 35 or so. Facing the prospect of kids when he was only 27 was a hurdle. He’s 100% on board now (at age 32) but I think he still kind of wishes I were the younger one, just for this reason.

        2. I agree with this. Relatedly, I really think that we as a society in general (men and women, probably men worse) are stretching out adolescence way too far. You should be *ready* to get married/have kids (in the sense of being grown-up enough to do so, at least) by the time that you are 30, if you want to have them at all.

          (I’m not saying that there’s something wrong with not doing those things by 30, or not being ready in the sense of needing to get finances/career/relationship issues straightened out first, or just not wanting to in general, just that you shouldn’t be just claiming that you’re not ready as if you’re somehow too young to handle that sort of thing.)

      3. Cosign all of this.

        Separately, since Michael Kinsley left Slate, the quality has suffered quite noticeably. It’s like a cheesy novelties blog with a bit of the Gawker-touch, hiding under a newsy veneer. There are a few good writers still doing work for them, but I find that most of Slate is kind of lightweight now.

        1. ITA. And yet, I keep going back. Though some of it is good, I must admit that I keep clicking on XX just to see how horrible it is (and it rarely disappoints). It’s like a car accident that you can’t not look at.

          2. TBK, so that. It’s sad, really. I travel in a lot of conservative circles, and this is what people think when they think of “feminism.” The majority of people are in full agreement with 90% of the issues; they’re just stuck hating the idea of “feminist” because they think that everyone who uses that label is aligned with people like her.

          3. I guess I’m a terrible person to you all, because I love her :p Oh well, we will have to agree to disagree!

  19. Anon for this. I’m at a crossroad career wise and could use some unbiased advice.
    I’m mid level in my career (not law) but my field tends to be high-stress as well. After progressing nicely I was very burnt out and took my current job which I’ve been at a year and hated since day 1. Sent out a few apps right away by nothing was ever quite right fit for me to leave.

    Here is my dilemma. I hate it (hence the bias), but it has some definite perks. I basically am untouchable unless I screw up something major (job security is awesome), money is good, benefits are great, and when I’m home I actual get to be home.

    Downside I am bored out of my skull most of the time and the position will do nothing to help me professionally in the long-run. I could use some consistency CV wise, but would say this last move was the only lateral (the rest were moves out and up).

    Normally I would just say screw it and look for something else, but I’m getting married in a year. Ideally would like to take some time off (3-4 weeks total). Honestly my job security is nice and knowing that I will have a good income (needed to finance said shindig) is also a relief.

    Basically I’m doubting myself at every turn. Leaving could mean professional happiness again, but new jobs come with their own set of problems. Should I suck it up for awhile longer or try and see what else is out there?

    1. It’s too bad you don’t enjoy your job, but I’d take a boring job that pays well over no job. I’d stick with that job until something better comes along; no reason not to keep an eye out for other opportunities and if you find something else you’re interested in apply and see where it goes from there.

    2. Since you have a whole year before your wedding, I would say network, apply for new jobs, and see if you can land anything before Halloween. Give yourself a concrete deadline. Professional happiness is worth something, but waiting around and hoping to get happy is going to make you crazy. Tell yourself you’ll apply/network for 3 months now, and if nothing works out, you’ll try again in a year. Are there professional development courses you could complete while at work if nothing new appears? Something to distract yourself?

    3. I would definitely apply for other jobs. You can negotiate for the 3-4 weeks off when you get a job offer. Asking for that time for your wedding/honeymoon seems totally normal. You might wind up having to take some of the time unpaid, or having to get an advance on your vacation days (meaning you’d have basically no vacation left over), but I think most employers would be okay with that. I don’t think you’re doing yourself any favors by staying there. If your wedding were just a few months off, it might be worth sticking around. But for a year? No way. As for funding the wedding, is it really worth a whole year of your unhappiness, plus whatever ding to your CV it causes to be in a dead-end job for so long just to pay for a wedding? (And it doesn’t sound like this job pays exceptionally well. Is there a reason to think a new job would pay less?) Sure, job security is nice, but it can also be soul-sucking if it means you’re not growing and developing.

      1. Money is actually really good. New job would be more money but likely come with a lot more stress in terms of working longer hours/ always on call.

        Sorry for typos.

    4. Posting late and not sure if you’ll see this Torn, no real advice, but just wanted to say I’m in the almost exact same position as you. Bored at my current seemingly awesome job, have an upcoming wedding in 6 months and not sure what to do. I was almost in tears coming into work this morning thinking about another boring day. Being bored is absolutely soul-destroying. :( Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone.

  20. I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your
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