ByKat Hours Updated
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Thursday’s TPS Report: Hardware Dress

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Calvin Klein Hardware DressIf you're a fan of Calvin Klein dresses, get thee to 6pm, where today (in addition to the Cole Haan sale — up to 70% off) they have a lot of great dresses on sale, from both the Calvin Klein Collection as well as the more affordable line. I actually own this particular dress in burgundy — I nearly wore it for my Macy's shoot! — and it's a great basic — stretchy, not prone to wrinkling, fitted but not too tight, etc. The “hardware” at the neck is appropriate for the office, IMHO, but it does limit your other jewelry options — but I can see it being great on those days where you just want to throw something on and go. It was $129.50, but is now marked to $59.99. Calvin Klein Hardware Dress Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-all)  

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

281 Comments

  1. Very cute dress, and it looks super easy to wear.

    Question for moms of young kids: Do you have a handbag that you absolutely love? Bonus points if it’s nice enough for a business-casual workplace, too. My beloved Cole Haan bag (bought five years ago, pre-kiddos) is beat up and proving to be not very practical anymore. I’m thinking of giving up leather for awhile and going with cloth or nylon. Structured might be better, too, as my hobo-style bag has become a bottomless abyss of stuff. My budget is $200 or less, although I might be willing to go higher if I really loved it.

    1. I use separate bags for work and non-work, so that the work one doesn’t get beat up. I am actually in need of a non-work winter bag – for summer I have a pink color-block stripe cotton J Crew one that I got for $20 on clearance.

      For work I carry a big tote (michael michael kors) that I got on ruelala for about $200, which fits my legal files, pump parts, and lunch bag. Then I have a smaller tote (currently an old coach one) that has my liter water bottle, sunglasses, phone, lipstick, hand lotion, and wallet. I take only the latter if I have a lunch or other meeting.

      I have had good luck at the kate spade and cole haan outlets for bags – can usually find something nice for $200 or so.

    2. I have found some great bags at Kate Spade and Coach outlets. Coach makes some big totes for diaper bags that don’t look too obvious and would hold a laptop or files. My current adult bag is a patent leather KS bag that is easy to clean. Honestly, if I am with my toddler, I just throw wallet/keys/phone into his diaper backpack. I am a minimalist with my purse contents so it is pretty easy to replicate/swap anything I need.

    3. I have an MZ Wallace Baby Jane that looks good enough for my workplace and appears to be indestructable, and it has loads of pockets. It was about $150 on sale and I love it, although when I’m in mom-mode I tend to think it’s a bit small and that the regular Jane would probably work better.

    4. I use an Orla Kiely bag that is great for both work and for carrying around diapers/wipes/snacks/sippy/spare clothes/toy cars/whatever on the weekends. I prefer it to a recently purchasesd Kate Spade bag because the material is lighter weight and I’m not worried about ruining it with spilled milk or food.

    5. MZ Wallace. Her bags are great–they are nylon so you can get barf/milk on them and just wipe it off, but they look chic. And they have a ton of pockets for all the stuff you have to lug around.

  2. TJ: I need some advice on real estate agent “etiquette.”

    I live in Boston and need to rent a new apartment in Back Bay. I have an agent that is helping us look for a place to buy, but the purchase probably won’t happen for about a year (while we get our finances together), so we’ve told him to help us look for rentals in the near-term.

    On my own, I’ve gone to a few real estate agents’ sites and done apartment searches (I think they are MLS listings for rentals, but I’m not totally sure). I’ve found a few places that look great. My question is: Can I just call the agent whose site I found the listing on, or am I supposed to call up “my” agent and ask him to show me this place?

    I’ve also always been confused about the listings in general. Does each agency have its own rental listings, or is it like MLS where everyone can see the same listings?

    Thanks!

    1. You can call the agent that put up the listing. Some apartments are listed through MLS for rentals, and others work specifically with certain rental agencies, and it’s hard to know which you are seeing, so I recommend reaching out to the listing agent.

      You can, of course, ask your current agent to show you some rental listings that he comes up with, but it’s possible he is more focused on sales than rentals (and IMO, you generally get a classier/less shady agent when they do more sales than rentals) and doesn’t have a huge rental inventory. Additionally, inventory may be limited this time of year since most apartments are on a 9/1 lease cycle, as I’m sure you know.

      I definitely recommend that if the rental agent you meet with skeeves you out/makes you uncomfortable in ANY way — walk away. While there are some great agents in Boston, in my opinion, the whole Boston rental system is flawed and encourages really really shady tactics which a lot of agents take advantage of. Take your time and work with someone you feel comfortable with.

      1. Also, I’d build into your budget (and if you’ve lived in Boston a while, you probably know this) that the fee is typically paid up front (actually, it’s usually paid in advance of submitting an application, so you can’t have applications on multiple places at once — every agent I’ve worked with, once you submit the application, you are obligated to take the place if the landlord accepts you, or you lose the fee), is usually one month of rent, and is usually paid by the tenant since it is generally a landlord’s market.

      2. Thanks so much! Super helpful! I hate the rental system in Boston, too, and finding an off-cycle apartment is pretty annoying. This agent is the one that helped me find my current place and while I’m sure he has his own incentives, at least he doesn’t seem too sketchy.

        I’m going to call up the listing agent. I think it might be an MLS listing since there is an ID# on the search page, but my normal agent is on vacation for two weeks. Technically, he passed my info onto another agent at his firm, but if I have no obligation to be “loyal” to him/his firm, then calling the listing agent will be much faster.

        We also looked at some serviced-type apartments which would have no fee, but I think the extra you pay to live there kind of balances out the fee. I’m just hoping we find a 1/2 fee place like I did 4 years ago!

        1. Reading the comments below, I see the value on keeping on good terms with your broker agent but… he’s on vacation. You don’t know the other guy in his firm. If you are seeing places you are interested in, I’d just reach out to the listing agent directly, which seems like the fastest way, especially if you’re hoping to move soon and knowing how quickly rental inventory moves.

    2. I’d call your agent and ask if he could show you the place. I’m not in a major metro area, but in my city, your agent would be paid a fee if you decided to rent the apartment. I.e. he’d be paid for his time spent helping you look for an apartment, as opposed to the “listing” agent getting 100% of the commission, while your agent is unpaid for his time. The fees are already factored in, so most of the time you won’t see a savings in your rent if you don’t use your agent-instead the listing agent will get 100% of the fee instead of sharing 50/50 with your agent.

      1. This is what I would do too. (I’m also in Boston). I would ask your agent if they can show you the apartments that interest you. A lot of Boston rentals are on an MLS-type service. In that case, your broker should be able to show it to you and the fee would be split between the listing broker and your broker. If they can’t show you the place because it is a private listing or something, then they should understand if you go see it on your own. The Boston housing market is such a nightmare that you really need a good relationship with your broker — especially if you’re buying — so I would try to be open and honest with them about rental listings you want to see.

  3. Her shoes are beautiful! Anybody have a thought on how to find them? I know they may be unavailable since the dress is at 6PM but I thought it would be worth asking.

  4. Immediate Shopping Threadjack (yes, I’m still on my ban, but a woman has birthdays and anniversaries!)

    Last night on Nashville, Hayden Paniettiere was wearing a pair of earring — if anyone watches, it was the scene where she was talking with her mother at the rehab facility — they were thin gold hoops that had a small solid circle dangling from them. Does anyone know brand or has anyone seen something similar? I need them in my life!

        1. Ooooh, I like the bird ones. The ones on the show were a hammered gold and very delicate. I loved the delicateness of them. The bird ones may be a hammered gold, too.

          Very pretty and quite affordable.

  5. Maternity clothes threadjack — I’m looking for maternity suit pants (or a skirt) that would go with a non-maternity suit jacket. Ideally what I would like is to get a non-maternity suit that I can wear in my non-pregnant life, and then ALSO get maternity pants/skirt in the same fabric. I’m already cringing to spend so much money on pants that I’ll only wear for six months, and throwing a suit jacket into the mix just pains me. Are there any brands that offer this? For example, do the Theory maternity pants match any of the Theory suit lines? Or another manufacturer? This is probably a long shot and I suppose I could try to get away with wearing black pants and a black suit jacket out of a different material, but I’m concerned about clashing. FWIW, I’m a litigator and I have several court appearances and meetings with prosecutors in the next few months. Thanks as always!

    1. Oh and one more question — would it be possible for a tailor to take suit pants from, say, Ann Taylor, and convert them into maternity pants with some kind of maternity panel? Is that crazy?

      1. This is possible to do, although I’ve never had it done personally. I sew myself & have seen tutorials online on how to convert non-maternity pants to maternity pants, so you should be able to find a tailor who could do this as well.

    2. I have a Theory maternity pant suit and love it. It’s really comfortable. I plan to get the non-maternity skirt and pants to match the jacket after the baby arrives. The jacket is identical to my other theory jackets, and the fabric is the same as the non-maternity suit.

      1. Are you aware of any other brands that make maternity suits? I have a hard time justifying Theory prices for my everyday wear, much less for just six months!

        1. There is a company called Suits Your Belly which makes maternity suits in really great wool fabrics. Check out their website. I ended up returning the suits I bought because they don’t do separates, and I was swimming in the suit jacket, but the suit pants were the right size. I believe that their policy has changed and now you evidently can purchase suit separates from them so it’s worth checking out. I thought that the material quality was excellent, unlike a lot of the poly fabric you see on some maternity suits.

    3. I got 2 maternity suits from pea in the pod – they looked nice enough (made it through 3 pregnancies!) and were quite a bit less expensive than the Theory ones.

      1. I think the suits were 200 or 300 total – would go to try them on if you can though, bc their return policy is terrible.

    4. This totally relates to my question downthread, but I’m assuming you are in straight sizes. A lot of my lady lawyer friensd would wear maternity dresses with a suit jacket for court appearances since then you didn’t have to worry about matching. One bought a cute tweed maternity jacket that went with all her maternity bottoms, and another just wore her regular jackets and didn’t care that they didn’t match. FWIW I’m a prosecutor and I would be fine with you coming in to meet with me in biz cas, but I also work in a small fairly rural city.

      1. Yeah, whenever I had court appearances when I was pregnant, I would either wear a dress and a jacket (non-maternity, unbuttoned) or black maternity pants and either a grey or black and white hounds-tooth jacket (non-maternity, unbuttoned). This was mostly in state court, but I didn’t have any problems.

        You can also get away with skirt suits in your old sizes for a while with one of those Bella Bands. This worked for me until I was about 25ish weeks. I would just zip the skirt as far up as I could and use the band to cover the rest.

    6. Got an error message the first time I tried posting, so apologies if this turns up twice. Theory makes maternity pants in their “Tailor” fabric in both black and dark charcoal. Thankfully this is also the fabric they use for most of their basic jackets. I bought two pairs of black pants and one charcoal and then hunted online for non-maternity Tailor jackets on sale. I already owned the charcoal one and had luck with two in black. The maternity pants are sold at both Pea in the Pod and Shopbop (although Shopbop only has black and in the under-the-belly style). FWIW, Pea in the Pod claims that its Theory suit jackets are maternity, but the cut is identical to the non-maternity Gabe jacket. Not a cheap solution, but I found it totally worth it — also a litigator and heading into a few trials.

  6. Update from a while back on the flying trapeze class: it was so much fun! I was perhaps more nervous than I should have been due to my general lack of upper body strength, but the “intro” classes are extremely safe and only ask you to do things that you can physically do. Mentally is another matter… My daredevil friend who went along with me froze both times and didn’t do more than hang on the bar, while I surprised myself by nailing the knee hang! So if anyone has been toying around with the idea, I give it my enthusiastic recommendation.

    1. I’ve done this too, and it’s awesome! The only thing that freaked me out was climbing the ladder even though I knew I was harnessed and completely safe. But once I was up there, it was awesome. I even managed a catch at the end of the first session!

      1. The ladder was absolutely the scariest part. And it took a couple tries to get me to jump off the platform… but actually being in the air wasn’t anything. You’re so focused on listening for the instructions, you don’t even have time to worry.

    3. I so want to try this! I’ve been taking gymnastics for a year now, and in my new session last night we had four aerialists join the class. I had no idea they even had classes for adults in my area. Might try a class of two this weekend…

      1. Not sure if you’re seeing this LawyrChk, but I’d love to hear more about your gymnastics class! I wanted to be a gymnast when I was little. That did not happen but I still love watching and have been toying with the idea of taking an adult gymnastics class if I can find one!

    4. I did this a few years back and it was amazing!! Though I was sore for a solid week… who knew trying to pull your aging body up onto a swinging bar required so much strength!

  7. Saw your update yesterday and wanted to let you know you aren’t alone. We are helping my parents move my grandparents into assisted living right now, and it is so emotionally draining. Watching my grandfather realize that he will not be returning to the house he’s lived in for 50 years was heartbreaking. Rationally, we know that this is the best/safest choice for them. That doesn’t make it much easier. Hang in there.

    1. How is the settling in going?

      My parents bought a winter home in Florida when Dad retired 7 years ago. Since then, he has had some confusion and memory problems. They’re very hard for me to deal with, because he’s always been so sharp and observant, with a quirky sense of humor, and my son doesn’t even know that about him. Soon after they moved in, Mom decided she didn’t like the house, and now they are moving to a bigger one. I’m worried his confusion and forgetfulness will increase in the new home.

      1. They are moving this weekend. My grandmother has moderate dementia and my grandfather has a bit himself. We anticipate some anger/sadness/ confusion, but this has to be done. I will update once they get settled. Getting your dad seen by a geriatric specialist could help. There are some medications that can manage some of the memory issues. Keep an eye on your mom though, if your dad worsens it will be hard to see past his issues to make sure she isn’t having her own. Go ahead and get yourself or a sibling named as their financial and health care durable power of attorney. Have discussions about what assets are where, if bank accounts need to be consolidated, what are their wishes for the next steps if they need to move, etc. Unfortunately, my family has a fair amount of experience with relatives needing emergency help and having some of those mechanisms in place makes it so much easier.

    2. My DH’s family moved his grandmother into assisted living this past year, and it has been awful. She had been living with DH’s family for 30-ish years, but her health has really declined in the past 5 years or so and after she fell 3x in one week (because she was dizzy, and then didn’t have the strength to lift herself back up and just had to lay there until one of DH’s parents got home), they took her to the hospital, then a rehab facility and now assisted living. She is devastated, of course, but it is a thousand times better for her (she has full-time care) and for DH’s parents (they have so much more peace of mind). It’s not exactly parallel to your situation, Jo March, but hang in there!

    3. At this point we seem to have settled on trying to get as many in-home supports in place as possible, since my mom is being very resistant to moving. Frankly, I can’t blame her – she’s only 61. But my heart goes out to you and everyone dealing with things like this. It is one of the hardest things I have ever gone through.

      Hopefully having someone check in on her just about every day will keep things safe and under control (sigh, until the next crisis, which *will* come, given the nature of MS).

      1. Jo, does she have any friends that have recently moved to an assisted living type situation? Maybe if she visits a friend in one, she’ll be less resistant to the change.

        1. Nope. Because she’s so young (61), it’s not even close. This is, frankly, one of the biggest issues. She doesn’t want to live “with a bunch of old people.”

  8. Big thanks for the recommendation for the Lands End 3/4 sleeve drapey faux wrap dress. I’m wearing it in the green today with black tights and black boots and a grey tweed jacket with just enough flecks of green to compliment it. I feel great in it and the color really makes me happy!

    I did not need to size down in the dress, I wear a 16 and bought the large. I love the length as well, I had bought a few other ponte dresses from LE but ended up returning them because they were too short.

    1. I got mine in red this week and am very happy. I’m wearing it to a wedding this weekend with black boots, black patterned tights and bling-y jewelry. I too had to size down (honestly, there is no way that I am a medium less than a month post partum). Bonus points because it’ll be easy to nurse in. I definitely will need spanx now, but as my body returns to its prepregnancy state it’ll be better. The fabric is heavy and nice and its a good length for me. Overall, for 20 bucks on clearance I feel like it’s a banging deal.

      1. OK, I have a stupid question about being postpartum + Spanx. I’ve never had a kid, and am not a doctor, so I was wondering, because I generally hear two pieces of “conventional wisdom” on this matter, and they’re contradictory, of course:
        1. I know a number of women who had been cautioned by their doctors to not wear anything tight or constricting post-partum, because it would press on the uterus and cause bleeding.

        2. I’ve read stuff that says one *should* wear Spanx (and garments like it) to coax the lower abdomen and uterus *back* to where they “should” be.

        My first question is: how soon postpartum can one wear Spanx? And, are both pieces of “conventional wisdom” just hokum?

        1. My doctor didn’t mention them to me either way…and I wore them about a week post partum because (1) they made me feel better and (2) I refused to wear maternity clothes after I gave birth.

        2. I don’t know, but if it’s from a doctor, it doesn’t seem to be “conventional” wisdom so much as “medical information!”

          1. Yeah, I’m wondering if the delta is the amount of time postpartum.

            I wonder if the doctors said something like: RIGHT AFTER YOU GIVE BIRTH, do not wear Spanx, but it’s ok after a week or two.

            And then in the game of telephone that is conversation, eventually, the “after week or two” temporal modifier gets dropped, and then it turns into a possibly not useful injunction, at which point, it becomes “conventional wisdom” rather than medical information.

    2. i bought two ponte lands end dresses, and the S (I’m a 4 ish ) is falling off me. The XS is sort of okay. Warning to smaller women!

    3. So jealous! I got mine but it’s impossibly huge on me. I ordered my normal medium (they were sold out of small) and it is just too big. I think even the small might have been roomy. :( Too bad because I can tell it’s a really great dress (and Mr. TBK loves this style dress on me). I’m going to see what I can do with my sewing machine this weekend. At least it only cost $30 with shipping so even if I make a hash of it, I didn’t lose that much money.

    4. Extra 30% off right now, and this dress is still available. (Bringing the price down to to an astounding $14-ish.)

      1. You talked me into it. I would normally be a small, but they had the red only in XS, so I’m hoping it will work. On the other hand, for $14 it’s hard to be upset if it doesn’t fit. But of course I ended up ordering something else as well to get free shipping (but it’s something I had been looking for, for a long time. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.)

  9. Aww, I really liked that dress until I clicked through all the views and noticed the exposed gold zipper. I know it is a trend these days, but I HATE super visible zippers.

    2. Plus, I really don’t need another sleeveless dress that I can’t really wear to my office without a cardigan.

      I don’t love that many cardigans break the line of the dress, and don’t particularly like belting a cardigan to give it shape.

      Would retailers stop being so f–ing cheap and lazy and make sleeves on their dresses already? I would be willing to pay more, vs the $0 I pay for yet another sleeveless dress with that tacky visible zipper.

      1. No solution for the visible zipper, but I always wear things under sleeveless dresses rather than over–either a thin turtleneck or a drapey button-front shirt. I agree it’s annoying that more dresses don’t have sleeves, but these are some non-cardigan options and don’t mess with the shape.

        1. Yes, I’ve done this on a few occasions, and I think it works better for keeping me warm, too. A lot of my cardigans have 3/4 length sleeves, and in this very cold office, that exposed bit of forearm/wrist often leaves me shivering.

          All my thin turtlenecks and long-sleeve tees have full length sleeves, thank goodness.

          1. Hey Susedna – I just replied to you on yesterday’s thread. I’m like a day behind on everything lately. :)

          2. @Bluejay

            Just went to yesterday’s late thread to read your comment. My only reply is:
            +1 for Bluejay

            Thanks for being willing to continue this discussion with me!

        2. Where do you guys get good layering tees? I have one from Banana but would like something a little more tissue-weight, ideally in a crew neck.

          1. Forever 21.

            Sometimes, the cheapness that makes the retailers choose to make these tees in such thin fabrics can be an advantage.

            Also, if you, like me, have not much of a waistline, the last thing you want is a lot of fabric from a bunched up tee under your dress.

            I cut the tee at the point where I get about 3 inches under the b**bs, so I don’t have excess fabric at the waist. And because it’s such a cheap tee, I don’t feel bad at all about cutting it. Get a very sharp pair of scissors to cut the fabric.

          2. Jcrew has great tissue turtles and I like that they’re long enough to go down to the hip area

          3. H & M. Love them. (Similar sentiment to susedna, although I don’t cut mine).

          5. I’m imagine your technique looks like Ross from Friends when he wore the “Franke Say Relax” t-shirt. “I’m gonna relax in my favorite shirt.”

      2. Agreed! I am always on the lookout for work dresses with sleeves. I’m fairly small, but I would say my biggest problem area is between my armpit and bust.

      1. Whats wrong with black hair ties? Not being snarky, just curious. Maybe I need to be saved from myself. I frequently use the thin black elastics to make low ponytails and such. I also have very dark hair. Maybe its a blondes with black hair ties issue?

        1. In my opinion, absolutely nothing is wrong with a black hair tie. But then, I really like exposed zippers . . .

        2. Oh, there’s nothing wrong with wearing them in your hair!

          It’s somewhat of a running joke on this site how younger women especially tend to have a permanent collection on their wrists (like, the same hair tie goes from wrist to hair for weeks until it breaks) at all times, even when the rest of their outfit is fairly formal/business-like.

          3. I don’t think KC is saying there is anything wrong with this. The reference started when someone complained about just having interviewed a candidate for a job, when the candidate had a hair tie on her wrist and one blue fingernail. If I remember correctly, the commenter was quite vehement about how shocking and inappropriate this was, and people responded that the fingernail was odd but these things weren’t a reason to disqualify someone from a job. Now both the hair tie and the fingernail have become a running joke for things that are shocking or outrageous (but it’s ironic because of course they’re not).

          4. I have to agree. Keeping hair ties on your wrist seems tacky to me if you’re over the age of 23. I always had a few on my wrist in high school so now it just seems childish/unprofessional. I’ve now taken to keeping a few in with my paperclips in my desk for emergencies.

          5. Thanks Eleanor for the much better explanation. I personally am guilty of often stashing a hair tie on my wrist, but I’m working on leaving them in my bag/desk drawer :)

          6. I don’t think having an elastic band around one’s wrist is unprofessional.

            I will admit to staring maybe a second too long if the hair band is knotted with hairs– I did once do a double-take at a woman who had a hair band like this. At first, my slow, tired brain thought she had a wring of really long hairs growing out f her wrist, and then I belatedly realized that it was just a hair band covered with hair! But even then, I got over myself and stopped staring. I hope she didn’t notice.

        3. Ahhhhhhh ok thanks! I will admit that I occasionally forget that there is one on my wrist. Since I wear my watch on that hand, I usually notice before I get to the office though.

    4. There’s another dress on the site that has a gold detail at the neck, but no exposed zipper. Think it was the same price.

      1. The ones I have are either wooden or plastic sequins-type thingies. I just turn them inside out and wash on gentle.

  11. OMG, this could be ROSA, even if ROSA is now a little pregnant now! I have to e-mail this LINK to Rosa so she can SEE for herself!!!!!

    The manageing partner said I HAVE to go with JIM to Saint Louis next week, so Lynn made travel arrangment’s for me today to FLY out there with him. UGH. Its along flight so why to I have to sit with him? He is alway’s chewing gum and spiting when he talk’s, and I do NOT like the cinamin gum he chew’s and it stick’s to my clothe’s I think, b/c I can STILL smell it even after I go back to my ROOM.

    The last time I had some dificulties posteing from Saint LOUIS, so my apologees now if I have to wait to POST. There was a very CHEAP wifi conection from my hotel last time, and I could NOT get a signel. B/c my Iphone is dificult to type on, I will either have to post from the PLANT, or wait until the signal is not being used. The Maiter Dee said I could use the lobby where the signel is strong, but I do NOT like to sit in the lobby b/c these skeevy guys came out of the bar last time and aksed me if I wanted to have a drink with them. FOOEY on that. All I need is a mid-West drunk like Alan? No way!

    It was a good thing that I did the do diliegience power point for the manageing partner b/c I am going to use some of the princiepals in there to make it go faster this time with Jim’s firm. The General Council will be out there this time, so if I HAVE to eat with Jim, at least he will be with the General Council, who is MARRIED and does NOT stare at me! Yay!!!!!!

    I told the manageing partner about being a JUDGE, and he did NOT seem that interested. He said he would NOT do it again, b/c it is alot of work, but if I wanted to do it, he would NOT stand in my way. He did NOT remember wether he was supplied with Judical Robe’s to wear, but said that he has an robe Margie bought for the Haloween Costume Party he would lend me if they would NOT supply me with a clean one. I think his would be to big for me b/c he is alot taller (and fatter), but at least it is CLEAN! Yay! I will find out.

    Did anyone in the HIVE call up to sign up to be a JUDGE? I am going to contact them AFTER I get back from Saint Louis b/c it sound’s like they REALLY want me to be a JUDGE! Yay!!!!!!

  12. If you’re interested in starting/joining a corpor*tte book club in NYC, email me at corpor*tte.gerri@gmail (with an “e” where the * is). For those who have emailed me, I will reply over the weekend.

    1. I will post again this afternoon and on Friday’s open thread, and then stop. Hopefully not too intrusive.

  13. Hey ladies – since my post yesterday I’ve gotten a bunch of e-mails and messages on my blog from loving, concerned readers of this blog. Some offering help, most offering sympathy and all of them just amazing. Occasionally its easy to get caught up in the minutiae and forget what a wonderful community this really is.

    Love you all,
    TCFKAG

    1. if you didnt see last night: SHIRTLESS MATT BOMER ALERT!!

      watch this week’s episode of The New Normal. it’s on Hulu…. drrrroooollllllll
      hoping some shirtless Matt Bomer will distract you for at least 20 minutes. Also: Internet Huggssss!

        1. In that once scene where one character says: “but first, put a shirt on” I may or may not have shouted ‘No!’ out loud….

      2. Now I LOOOOOVE Matt Bomer, but then I remember that he is gay and it kinda ruins it, because it’s not like I could ever get with him. Not that my chances with famous people are generally high, but at least when they are straight, there is some hypothetical chance.

        1. Ahhh, I never let the sexual orientation of my sex objects bother me. Because I figure – hey – the odds of me getting with ANY of these guys, gay or straight are….approaching or equal to zero. And even if the opportunity miraculously presented itself, he’s married with three beautiful boys, who would want to mess with that.

          So I will simply objectify him – as is right in the world. And for that, I don’t care who he sleeps with at night. :-)

      1. Agreed! I just wish the @#$^^ webcensor or whatever is installed on our software by IT didn’t block your [TCFKAG’s] website. :-(

  14. TJ: I’m a fairly new attorney practicing civil litigation, and I will be arguing my first motion (not dispositive, but important discovery-related issue) next week. I dread public speaking, so I’m a bit nervous. I know my case, and I know my arguments, but does anyone have any advice for me on how to quell my nerves? Or any general advice about motion arguments that you’ve learned over the years? I appreciate your wisdom!

    1. Your first argument is usually the worst! I would bring a one page outline of your arguments to have in front of you “just in case.” You’re not going to need it, but you’ll feel better knowing that it is there. Don’t be afraid to take a pause and collect your thoughts – pauses seem so much longer to us than they do to anyone else in the courtroom. Wear your favorite suit so you feel good about yourself.

      1. Pauses do not appear on the record, so instead of rambling if you get nervous in the middle, just regroup silently. It’s totally okay to do that.

        And remember that you are the expert in the room. The judge may be only passingly familiar with the case, so you are there to help her/him make a good decision. Provide the judge the information she/he needs to do that.

    2. Hold something a pen maybe in case you get shaky hands. Make yourself slow down and pause for effect. Make a list of your weakest points and the counterpoints, and prepare responses to address those weak points if you get any tough questions from the judge. Research the judge, does he/she ask a lot of questions? have any quirks? lets argument go on forever? etc

      1. Also try to think of it not as “public speaking” but a discussion between two intelligent people where one of them (you) is trying to convince the other one (the judge) of your point. This has helped me enormously, and made the room seem smaller. I just focus on the judge. When the other side is talking I sit and take notes and pick the three main points to respond to if I get to respond.

        1. +1000! It’ s just a conversation. Also +1 to SoCal Gator’s recommendation to write out EVERYTHING for the first few lines. I definitely have written out my name, my firm’s name, and my client’s name. Finally, can somone in your firm moot you? A peer would be best but I’m sure a good paralegal familiar with the case could do it (if s/he is senior, probably without help; a more junior one could do it if you provided a list of general topics to ask about).

          1. Love the conversation rec. And I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who writes out my introduction! I did this with an of counsel once and he said, what you can’t remember your name??? Thanks, dude, just what I want to hear right before my argument….

          2. yes yes yes – my usual dep outline has my first lines written out verbatim, including my name, firm, client’s name, etc. sure, you probably won’t read off of it, but WHAT IF YOU NEED TO?

    3. Prepare, prepare, prepare. That is the best antidote to nerves. Retread all the briefs, have copies of all the lead cases and make a detailed outline of all possible points that you may have to argue. If possible, go ahead of time and watch the judge you are going to appear before and watch him or her handle motions. You will learn a lot just watching and it will give you confidence.

      And as you sit waiting to argue, you will feel your heart pounding. That’s a result of adrenaline and its normal. I have been litigating for over 30 years and still feel that a little before an oral argument. It’s what gives you that edge. When that happens, take 3 or four deep yoga breaths — breath in slowly to a count of 5 or 7, hold the breath a second or two and slowly exhale. That will actually bring down your heart rate.

      Your voice may shake when you start so have written out exactly what to say — good morning your honor, Jane Doe of Smith Firm appearing for the moving party Black Company. Once you get past the first few words and into the heat of the argument, your nervousness will disappear.

      And good luck! It will be fun!

    4. Organize a 3-ring binder with an outline of your argument on top, a longer outline that’s basically a typed version (in large font) of your argument behind it (starting each section on a new page so you can flip around if the judge wants to take sections out of order), and tabs for each case you’ll discuss in the order you’ll discuss them. Have an index for the cases in case the judge wants to discuss them out of order. Make sure the cases are highlighted and tabbed to the relevant sections. A good rule of thumb is that any relevant portion of the materials to be discussed should be accessible within 10 seconds. Practice your argument standing up, preferably standing a good distance from a mirror so you can practice eye contact. I usually set up a compact on my bookshelf and stand on the other side of my office.

      I know conventional wisdom says not to type out your argument, but I’ve done it with great success and it’s been recommended to me by partners far more experienced than my law school writing prof. Just make sure you’re not reading from it; it should be a guide in case you get stuck or interrupted. I also like to type out my first sentence or two on top of my short outline just to get me started, even if it’s just a standard introduction. I’m always super nervous when I first get up to the podium, but once that first sentence or two is out I’m pretty good. Good luck!

    5. Fake it til you make it (poise wise. Don’t fake the law, of course). No one knows you’re nervous except for you. So just pretend you’re not.

    6. If it is on the record speak slowly. Like crazy slowly since the court reporter has to catch it all. Also – think of what you’ll do with your notes if there is no podium. In my state courts I usually argue from a table that has no raised part so it is hard to reference notes that aren’t in a huge font.

    7. You may be surprised that once you get going you will not be as nervous, as the motions do tend to turn into more of a discussion and it feels less like giving a speech than you would anticipate. Also – if you’re stressed about being nervous, understand that everyone gets nervous. I once overheard very senior counsel talking in the hall: lawyer a: I’m pretty tired – I couldn’t sleep last night. Lawyer b: I never sleep before hearings.
      It’s normal to be nervous. Break a leg!

    8. Go visit the courtroom ahead of time. See if you can see the judge do a different motion hearing. You’ll know where to sit, where you can stash your stuff, etc.

      Remember to take up room. Spread your papers out in front of you (if you’re a spreader, like me). Taking up room is a power play that women often forget about. If no one will be sitting at counsel table with you, then you can take up the whole table.

    9. Tons of good advice here. I use the pen trick – I think someone here may have told me about it a few years ago. I have a few things to add.

      Give yourself plenty of time to get to court. There is nothing worse than being sweaty from running to your hearing.

      I have a pre-hearing routine of going to the restroom and staring at myself in the mirror for a few seconds. Something about knowing I look the part and knowing there is nothing in my teeth and my suit jacket is straight helps my nerves.

      Listen to the questions the judge asks and answer those questions. Keep any speaking you do short, responsive, and to the point. I make it a point to stay in court as long as I can to hear other people argue, and I’ve observed over the last few years that the worst attorneys are the ones who just keep talking trying to push a point the judge doesn’t care about or has already decided on. It’s painful to watch. Sometimes the best argument is keeping your mouth shut.

      Finally, it is okay to not know the answer to a question that wasn’t part of your briefing. Don’t be afraid to tell the judge if you need to do more research on a point that comes up if it is outside the scope of your argument. It’s better to say that you would be happy to submit additional briefing on the issue than it is to make it up and be wrong.

      You will be awesome, good luck!

      1. That was a joke, right? ‘Cause that’s a really strange thing to stock up on.

  16. My husband and I are going to start TTC soon. Do plus size maternity clothes for attorneys exist? I am in court at least 3 days a week so I need to have some sort of suit/suit-separate option, and the rest of the days I’d just need pants. For reference, I’m a 16W in dresses and a 20W in pants, so there is no way regular clothes will fit me. Am I going to be wearing a muumuu to court?

    1. My SIL (about an 18) found her maternity clothes at Old Navy, Marshall’s and Target. Your best bet might be maternity dresses with non-maternity suit jackets, and maybe altering the latter. I found judges to be very accommodating, particularly the time I went in at 39 weeks and nothing fit me any more.

    2. I’m not plus size but am in my 37th week of pregnancy and that means I’m at work in yoga pants today — so, I feel ya. Agree that people are VERY accommodating, esp. towards the end.

      I like Diana Barry’s suggestions and would also say that you’re going to get a much better selection online than in person. I’ve never had any luck finding maternity clothes at Marshall’s, but YES to Old Navy and Target.

      If you have any thrift stores near you, those may also be worth scoping out — because all it takes is one person to donate a load of stuff in your size and voila! Instant wardrobe. You could also try eBay for maternity clothing lots; I’ve had good luck there too.

      1. Hi ANP! I hit 37 weeks on Sunday and I think Legally Brunette is right about the same time with us. We’re in the home stretch at least, which is good. I miss seeing my feet!

        OP–I’ve had the same experience as ANP and Diana Barry though I don’t go to court. When I have had to wear a suit, I wore black maternity pants, a bright top and a gray nonmaternity jacket. My nonmaternity jackets/cardigans work as long as I don’t button them. In my office, pregnant women (especially those towards the end!) definitely get a pass, but I suppose every office is different. I had good luck with Old Navy actually, especially for tops. Also, Kohl’s now has maternity which is pretty nice and I got some things at a maternity consignment store near me. Dresses definitely are pretty forgiving, though if you are large of bust to begin with, some of the empire waists that are cute on everyone else just don’t work well (at least for me–I was a D/DD prepregnancy and am now an H.)

        So tempted to start wearing yoga pants. They’re black, that means they’re dressy, right?

        1. I’m 35 weeks and have been wearing yoga pants and UGGs to work for the past two weeks. We’re smaller and less formal than most firms, luckily.

          OP, I’m on the larger side myself and have been frustrated at how an “x-large” in maternity still seems to be made for a size 8 (especially in nursing/sleep bras!) For court appearances and mediations, I’ve been able to get away with one black suit-ish skirt and one maternity suit jacket that is meant to be worn open and unbuttoned (Rosie Pope, I don’t see it on the website anymore but it’s a short plain black jacket), with a plain maternity T underneath. For depositions and client meetings, a maternity dress or long jersey skirt with an unbuttoned cardigan over it has been just fine. I’ve got the most mileage out of black skirts (GAP has a long one without elastic in the waist that has been the most comfortable) and several maternity t-shirts in different colors and several cardigans. Nordstrom Rack has been a great source for affordable cardigans.

          Honestly shoes have been my biggest problem. I tried to wear pumps as long as possible and then a selection of cute flats, but at this point I have one pair of black flats, my UGGs, and flip flops left to pick from — literally nothing else will go on my feet, and it’s late enough in the pregnancy I’m really reluctant to spend any $ on new shoes.

    3. They definitely exist but are very, very hard to find. And people who aren’t plus size seriously have no idea how hard it is.

      My recommendation is Jessica London. They carry actual maternity suits in plus sizes. Jacket, pants, and skirt, for very modest prices and the clothes are fine. They’re in a poly blend of some sort, but are fully lined and I really think they will save my life when I’m on trial at 6 month pregnant. I’ve also been thinking about converting some of my older suits into maternity suits, just to give myself some variety in my wardrobe.

      Kat: You should put up a post on plus-size maternity wear. It is so impossible to find and if I can help others in my boat, I would love to.

  17. I received one of my online purchases yesterday. It is a sweater with zipper accents on sleeves, and the sleeves are very long – more than 2 inches beyond the wrist. Is this a deliberate look or my arms are just too short and I should return the sweater?
    Found the link:
    http://m.nordstrom.com/product/Details/3309968

    1. Cute! Looks like the sleeves are long on the model, so I would bet it is deliberate.

  18. TJ – Does anyone have any dentist recommendations for DC? Preferably the Farragut/Dupont Circle/Foggy Bottom area, but I would be willing to travel to other parts of the city.

    1. This isn’t quite in your area, but I loved Rosslyn Dental Arts (right outside the Rosslyn metro station). They always did SUCH an amazing job. Granted, I only went there for checkups and teeth cleaning (so I can’t speak to more personalized or serious service needs), but I loved them for that. I am actually sad I moved and can’t go there anymore.

    2. I see Dr. Andrew Lasky. He’s at 18th and N NW, just south of Dupont Circle. I’ve been seeing him for years with no problems at all. Once I got a second opinion on something and it just confirmed that he was correct. He takes all kinds of insurance, including my relatively crappy DMO plan.

    4. Dr. Schneiderman at 1234 19th St NW, Suite 900 (between Dupont and Farragut North) is THE BEST DENTIST EVER. I have had two fillings with him — both painless. His technique is amazing. And the administrative portion of the office is such a pleasure to deal with. Can’t recommend them enough. The office number is 202-296-7455.

  19. Hot weather Australia threadjack!

    I find bare feet in shoes to be uncomfortable and sticky. I have always worn pantyhose/tights with skirt suits, though on most days I wear trouser suits with socks and ankle boots. I live in a cool temperate climate.

    Soon I am moving to Sydney, yes, Australia where the heatwave is so bad they’ve had to add new colours to their weather charts. I hear most businesswomen wear dresses there, no doubt because of the heat.

    I am very bad at dealing with heat and no doubt I’ll start wearing dresses just like the locals. Question: how can I start being comfortable in bare legs? Is there a trick to it?

    1. Summer soles inserts for your shoes will help soak up the sweat and make your shoes a lot more comfortable and bearable. I have extremely sweaty feet and they work like a charm to prevent my feet from sliding around in my shoes and causing cuts, blisters, etc. I’ve also heard of putting deodorant on your feet but never tried it.

    2. Baby powder? Also, there are those little sock things you can get for when you want to wear shoes without socks, but they tend to be a pain in my opinion.

      1. Those little non sock things I”m referring to are kind of like the things you put on when you’re trying on shoes. Sort of like pantyhose without the rest of the leg.

        1. I used those one time I was going to a wedding, actually. None of my open-toed sandals fit the dress. I found that I had to cut a fair amount of material from them because they gave total foot coverage, but in principle they worked. I was able to dance without my feet complaining, that’s for sure.

    3. Florida resident here.
      Wearing the best clothes for the temp/stripping off your hose will probably be easy once you’re there. But for your feet, I suggest lots of powder, maybe even an extra container at work or in your bag.
      Congrats on the job and the move!

      1. No job yet! Moving for husband’s job, but it is at the best time possible for me careerwise. Newly qualified Big Four accountant who cannot wait to finish up her training contract and move on to reap the rewards. I’ve already made contact with recruitment agencies in Sydney.

    4. i use light pantiliners as insoles during the summer, i think based on a recommendation from the hive. they’re cheap, disposable, absorbent and work surprisingly well to keep things from getting gross/slippery/sweaty.

      1. Interesting! I wear them every day, so there’s always a box around. I will trial that.

    6. Also, if it’s hot, it may be more acceptable to wear open-toed shoes or dressy sandals at work.

    7. The Band-Aid Active Friction Block Stick (can generally be found with band-aids) is a God send. In the summers, I litterally swipe it all over the bottoms and sides of my feet and it prevents sweatiness and blisters.

  20. Just need to vent: trying to plan a vacation with multiple couples is such a huge PITA. I’m all for including people and trying to hear everyone’s opinions, but GAH! Why can’t we all just be reasonable and stop nitpicking to death every idea that gets thrown out?

    1. I once planned a ski trip for 12 people (including 3 couples) coming from 3 continents. The only way it worked was once we had the place and date picked, the “trip coordinators” (my bff and I) had full control of everything else. The other 10 people had to give us their share of the money up-front based on a projected cost (slightly inflated) that we gave them, and then we rented the house, bought lift tickets, booked rental cars, made restaurant reservations, etc, etc… Extra money went into a kitty that was used to pay for food once we arrived at the destination. Each person was responsible for their own transportation to the nearest airport on a set date. It actually all came together incredibly smoothly, and the only part of the trip that was a disaster was the fact that one of the SOs was a total pain and everyone kind of was hating on him by the end of our week.

      1. This is what we basically did last year and should have done again. However, one person who has apparently has unlimited money and time and unrealistic expectations keeps shooting down every suggestion for making things easier. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect – this is a ski trip, and you really don’t have to stay slope side on the best mountain with the most snow and the best night life and the most challenging terrain blah blah blah to have a good vacation (and it’s not going to be good for me, because I’ll be freaking out that we blew the budget and will have a huge cc bill the next month).

    2. to avoid moderation:

      Silver lining to the black cloud view: if you hash out everything now, and get it all nailed down, then the trip itself will be a lot smoother, because all the big (and many small) decisions about where to go, what to do, what/where to eat will already have been decided beforehand.

      Black cloud attached to the silver lining view: if they’re this much of a pain in the derriere now, just think how much fun they will be to travel with when you get there……not!

    3. Ugh. Pet peeve: I plan some big get-together, everyone signs on, then starts nit-picking time, location, etc. etc. at the last minute, as if I haven’t spent huge amounts of time and energy picking just the right time (because everyone’s schedule is crazy), just the right location (near Metro, half-way between people who live on opposite sides of the city), and just the right food (this person is veg, that person eats Halal, this other one doesn’t like anything in sauces, and that person is so sick of sushi she’ll kill anyone who shows her nigiri). Argh! I feel your pain.

      1. Just to defend us nit-pickers, I tend to bug the planner for tons of info because I get really bad travel anxiety. The only way I can combat it is to research the places I’m going ahead of time, make them familiar, have an idea how far they are from my hotel, ways I could get there and back, see where the bathrooms are, that kind of stuff. It sounds totally ridiculous but it makes my trip so much better. That said, when my group plans something I just can’t enjoy (hours at a beer only pub when I can’t have gluten) I don’t complain. I either go and have water and pretend to have fun, or I excuse myself from that part of the trip and plan my own thing like spa time. I also tell my friends about my anxiety so they understand why they are getting peppered with questions but I know I am way more open about my issues than most people are comfortable being.

        My pet peeve is planning a group outing and not getting pre-payment, people bailing and refusing to pay up. We got totally stiffed when husband planned a bachelor party that included some expensive excursions and a bunch of guys bailed at the last minute and refused to pay. Grrrr.

        1. I get that and have no problem giving people info. What you’re talking about wouldn’t bug me at all. It’s more the people who, 30 min before, say “hey, what about trying this new restaurant [on the far side of town that no one’s researched to make sure it accommodates everyone] instead?” or bringing up, at the last minute after knowing for a week what restaurant we’re going to “ugh, I went there last night. Can we go someplace else?” No, no we cannot go someplace else because 15 people besides you are already on their way over here and I do not feel like re-contacting everyone and re-negotiating something that we planned a week ago.

        2. Oh, ditto to both of these! Asking for more info doesn’t bother me the way you describe it. If someone requests more info and then uncovers a problem (the restaurant doesn’t have a GF option, etc.) I appreciate that heads up. It’s the nitpicking already agreed upon decisions/wanting to change researched plans at the last minute that bugs me. Yes, spontaneity can be fun, but with a group sticking to the schedule means going to a restaurant where a table for 10 is already reserved instead of hoping another restaurant can squeeze us in with 20 minutes notice.

    4. I totally sympathize. I’m trying to plan a trip to SF/Napa with three friends from different states, and it’s seriously stressing me out. I also suspect one of the girls will flake out at the last minute, throwing off most of our plans and budgeting. Errrghh.

  21. I’ve gone from working in business casual environments to now working in a casual but no jeans environment. What does one wear? Any suggestions on how to alter my “pencil skirts with cardigans and heels” type of wardrobe to fit into a more casual environment so I don’t have to buy all new clothes?

    1. Try integrating some of your weekend wear into your work wardrobe. Sweater dresses, for instance, are appropriate in a casual office. If you have any corduroys, those would fit in too. Try flatter shoes?

    2. Agree with adding more flats and or fun sandals. What about t-shirts and knit tops with your cardigans instead of blouses? Or buying some graphic/printed tees to wear with skirts (could layer or wear by themselves)? Colorful bags and louder jewelry could help too. What about a few blazers in more casual fabrics (like dark denim, linen) or with more casual cuts (rouching at sleeves, boyfriend style) that you could pair with your skirts? You could also wear the same tops/sweaters you already do with more casual pants… like the idea of cords, maybe ponte skinny trousers, or different types of ankle/slimmer cut pants.

    4. If you’re not allowed jeans – its kind of unclear to me what the difference between business casual and casual is. More cardigans? Corduroy? Flats? No blazers probably – though I love blazers so I’d still wear them. Funner jewelry. Cigarette pants? That sort of thing. But really, I’m sure with some tinkering your business casual wardrobe will be just fine.

    5. Why not just wear what you’ve been wearing? People wear pencil skirts all the time in my casual office.

  22. I’m published! I got the pdf of the article last night and it even looks all official law review-y. I need to put it up on SSRN. Any tips on writing the abstract? (It seems straightforward, but thought I’d see if anyone had any advice I might not have thought of.) And, again, I’m published!!

    1. I think I would like to publish also. I did NOT make Law Review when I was in law school, but I have been told by alot of law profesors that I am a NATURAL when it come’s to law. If I can get Lynn to type an articel, I think I should be abel to get published. Mabye at my law school, but if not, then at another law school law review, or mabye for one of the ABA Journal’s, especialy if I get that JUDICAL experence!

      The manageing partner has been meaning to write another articel for the bar journal, so I will ask him if he want’s to join with me on a law review articel. If he says YES, then Lynn will have to help alot more then if it is JUST me.

      I have to ask the manageing partner what he want’s me to write about. I do NOT want to do anything related to WC. My dad thinks its TIME to broaden my horizon’s! YAY!!!!!!

    4. Congrats!! When I’m stumped on an abstract, I look back at the intro. Usually, you’ve written a paragraph (often the first or last paragraph of the intro?) that you can adapt into in abstract.

    7. Congrats! I got the proofs of something I did recently (just a book review) and it was so cool to have it looking all fancy.

    11. Congrats! A tip for abstracts I’ve heard (for science ones, though) is to take the first sentence from each paragraph and put them together. Obviously you don’t leave it as that, but that should help you figure out what ideas you want in there.

  23. I am looking for a lower cost alternative to the Lo and Sons OG bag. My #1 requirement is that it have the panel that slides over a suitcase handle so I don’t have to carry it. I like the separate compartments, but it isn’t a make or break the deal thing. I don’t care about material. Any suggestions? I just can’t stomach paying $300 for an overnight bag I won’t use regularly.

    2. I have a le sport sac overnight bag that I love. I recall it was less than $100 on Zappos (got it a few years ago so I can’t quite recall). It doesn’t slip over a suitcase handle in an official/designed that way manner, but the short handles on top work perfectly for that anyway.

  24. Thanks to everyone who was super supportive after my elevator mishap yesterday! I’m doing much better and I’m just bruised, nothing worse than that. Icing probably helped, as I’m not swollen at all.

  25. Is anybody else struggling with this first full week back to work? It doesn’t help that school started really early for us and we have evaluations due. I’ve been writing my self-eval all day. I haven’t done one in a couple of years. The weather is so awful. Went from cold and wet to warm and stormy. It’s almost night-black outside right now. Even though I slept well, I woke up tired and had to convince myself that I really did have to go to work this morning.

    1. Yes. Plus, I’ve had terrible migraines all week. I’ve barely gotten any work done.

      2. I recently had what may have been my first migraine and it is still bothering me too. Plus it seems everyone I know is getting some kind of really bad news and is miserable. I’m just so distracted and trying to get through each day pretending to get work done right now.

        1. I’ve had more migraines this winter than ever before and think I found a partial solution. I read online that migraines can often be caused by changes in barometric pressure and dry air. I bought a small humidifier for my office and have been constantly running the humidifier at home and it has greatly decreased the migraines. This is the one I bought: http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?SKU=18404729

      3. I’m actually wondering if there’s some sort of virus going around that causes severe headaches because I had what I thought/still think was an extreme migraine last night (ended up in the hospital). And have had several over the last couple of weeks. Coincidence? Maybe….

        Great end to an of course FABULOUS day.

        1. I’ve been getting them recently, too, in a way I haven’t for years. Something in the water? Ughhhhhh.

        2. That would make sense. Mine was after several people in my office had the flu so maybe it was just my version of the flu. Mine started w/ my menstrual cycle and the pain was bad enough it caused nausea, dizziness, light sensitivity, vertigo – basically, I could only stay laying down and still to avoid being totally screwed up. One episode isn’t enough to diagnose a migraine but all my coworkers (who are migraine sufferers) so how quickly it came on me and how much it knocked me out (I luckily left work while I could still drive) swore up and down it was a migraine. I’m hoping it was a virus because I really don’t want to join the migraine club. That said, a lingering headache six days later is also tell-tale “migraine territory” I hear. It continues to linger.

        3. It’s made its way across the pond, I didn’t quite think I was going to make it at work today. Felt queasy and achey with a splitting headache and I wasn’t able to eat anything until mid-afternoon. I rallied and made it through the day but definitely wasn’t feeling my best.

        4. Ouch. I am right there with you with the weird headache/migraine club. I hope you feel better soon.

        5. I had several headaches and migraines (I am prone to them) last week, along with a little bit of sinus pressure and a runny nose. My SO complained today of a headache starting yesterday and continuing overnight. I think it really might be a virus. Excedrin, caffeine, and allergy meds (just in case) didn’t touch until eventually it turned into a migraine and I took my prescription sumatriptan.

          Blonde Lawyer: I’ve had migraines since I was around 10. Mine don’t generally last multiple days and I don’t have the visual aura, but I get the rest of the symptoms – severe pain on one side of my head (it switches), nausea, and sensitivity to light, sound, and smells. Generally I get them when I’m dehydrated and if I take a prescription med and rest in a dark, quiet place, it’ll pass within a couple hours. All of this to say, if you do get them, it’s not necessarily torture. Mine are more irritating than anything else.

        6. Blonde Lawyer, it sounds like yours was a menstrual migraine, which is what mine is, too. Although I occasionally get them off cycle. My migraines started about 4 years ago.

    2. I was trying to take advantage of the calm before the storm (students back on Monday) and get some work done but have been grouchy and had some unexpected commitments come up that have put me behind schedule. I am taking a day trip with a guy I’m (sort of, maybe) seeing at the weekend though so at least there is that to look forward to. Although given the state of my writing, I should be locked up in the library all weekend.

    3. Ugh, yes.

      My fiance just started a new job, and he’s a little nervous every day because he’s not comfortable there yet. So he comes home in a bad mood and we fight.

      This week needs to be over.

    4. So sorry you have to fill out a self-eval. They suck. I did mine at the end of 2012 kicking and screaming all the way (and venting to folks here).

      Even if it looks like it doesn’t matter and is some ministerial / bureaucratic thing, I’d take it very seriously, especially given who you work for now. I wouldn’t ever put it past him to try to use a lackluster self-eval as ammunition against you one day if his little garden hose^H^H^H^H ego feels slighted in some meeting.

      1. Yeah I used to do a self-eval every year and then in the past couple of years I haven’t because I’ve worked so closely with myboss. With new boss, he doesn’t know what I did before he got here so that’s important to lay out. It doesn’t really matter, in the short run, because we already know we’re not getting raises next year, but it matters in the long run for him to understand my work and my accomplishments.

        We are now having flash flooding and tornado warnings so I guess my SO won’t be making it in today. :(

        1. Oh no! Flash flooding & tornado warnings, ugh. Be safe, dear. And double oh no, I’m so sorry that your SO won’t be able to see you today. *tea & sympathy*

    5. YES. My billables this week have been bad, bad, bad. I just can’t seem to concentrate. After all my late December deadlines it is like my body is totally rebelling.

    6. Yes. Making it worse is an interview I have for my dream job in 6 days, and it is making me REALLY not want to work. I had an absolutely crazy December, too, so that’s part of it.

    7. Ugh, yes. I woke up this morning thinking it was Saturday and that I had somehow misset my alarm. I quickly realized my error :(

    8. YES! I just do not want to be here at all. It’s a “Friday” for me though, because tomorrow I have my leadership training class that I’m using all of my vacation for (1 Friday / month for 9 months). So that’s good at least. It’s still a long day, but I won’t be in the office at least!

  26. Just… I hate law school. Every semester I get so amped up, I work so hard, then I bomb when grades start petering out. I’ve only gotten 2 out of 5 grades, one is great and the other is terrible. I just hate law school and wanted to tell you wonderful ladies.

    3. I hate the law school grading system. It is just so unfair and impractical. One test decides everything regardless of all the work you do all semester. It is just redic. (Just in case anyone plans to respond “only the people who did poorly in law school think that,” I did well in law school and think that.)

      1. I know nothing about law school, but the grading as you’ve described it sounds all kinds of arbitrary, and therefore crazymaking.

        Sorry it sucks so much, e. Don’t believe for a moment that it’s any measure of your intelligence or future success in law. It’s just the output of an oddly structured system.

      2. I actually love the law school grading system, though I’m probably alone. It speaks to the procrastinator in me.

    4. I feel for you, mostly because I hated it too. I’m a practical person and all the theoretical knowledge you work on in law school drove me bonkers.

      Hang in there!

      1. Second this. Law school is way too theoretical and ability in law school does not translate to ability as a lawyer.

        At least in the patent world, discussion between practitioners and academics has degenerated into ad-hominum attacks (“Lemley’ites”) and law review articles are referred to as the “vanity press”.

        So don’t worry, bad grades in law school only mean you’ll never be a good legal academic.

    5. My law school grades were a total cr@apshoot. It didn’t seem to matter whether I loved the class, hated it, felt 100% on top of the material, felt like I was drowning. I got good grades, bad grades, meh grades with no pattern whatsoever. (I never did go talk to my professors, though, not at office hours during the year and not when grades came out to go over the exam. Looking back, I think it could have been helpful to get some perspective on it. Have you tried this? No idea if it would help.)

      1. +1. Never figured out a pattern to my grades, either, though I think whether the prof liked my writing style had a lot to do with it. Try talking to the professors one-on-one – it’s the only thing I can think of that I didn’t do.

      2. +2. Law school grading sucks bigtime. The whole grading on a curve thing doesn’t help either, since basically everyone in law school is used to being a high achiever and not equipped for lower marks. I know I never started swearing until the week I got my first year exam marks. (Seriously. It was all downhill from there. Now I can cuss like a sailor.)

        I have no suggestions other than to say that (a) you are not alone, and (b) law school is not the practice of law, so (at least in my experience) your marks bear no relation to how good a lawyer you will be. In my case, this worked in my favour.

      3. Yes, e, I’ve been out 20+ years and still agree that law school tesing and grading is the worst. It doesn’t hurt, though, to talk to your professor about the low grade, just to see what you might do to improve (or even to double-check that the grade is right, in a nice way of course). I did this only once, when I got my lowest grade in law school after I thought I aced the exam. The professor said I basically got the concepts right but he wanted a lot more detail and discussion. Aargh.

        In a truly ironic turn, that low grade was in the only class I took in what has now become my field of specialization. I’m a partner in a boutique firm in that field, on the board of a national lawyers group in this area of practice and basically doing just fine, thank you. And no one knows or cares that this filed is where I got my worst grade in law school.

        Hang in there, you will be FINE.

      4. Early in law school, I did have post-exam talks with my professors. But it wasn’t all that helpful except in the one or two cases where I took another class with the same professor and could actually use the advice they gave. I realized pretty quickly that the advice given by my contracts prof, for example, was 99.8% useless for my torts exam because the prof there was looking for completely different things and wanted the exam written in a totally different style. I realized pretty quickly that it was mostly a waste of time. And I tried talking to my con law prof several times in advance of the exam because I feared it would be BAD, and I thought I had a grip on what the crazy old bat was looking for, and it still ended up being BAD — actually, probably worse than if I’d never gone to see him at all. I know some people find it helpful, but I wasn’t one of them.

      5. I would go talk to my professors after exams (my grades were all over the place). I had not one, but two, professors straight up admit that the grades were pretty arbitrary because of the curve (like there wasn’t really a difference between the B+/A-, but due to the curve, a certain number had to get the B+).

    6. Hang in there! The HIVE is here for YOU! Guess what? When I was in law school, my grade’s were NOT good AND 3 of the first year professor’s wanted to date me. (They realy just wanted sex I think). I did NOT date them and my grades were not good for Law Review, and I did NOT want to try to write to get on to Law Review.

      But it worked OUT anyway, b/c my grade’s did improve a bit and I gradueated and I passed the NY Bar b/c I lived here, not DC, so I came back and I literaly bumped in to the manageing partner and he took me UNDER his wing and now I am probabeley going to be a partner at this time NEXT year (if I make the Capitol Contributeion from my 401K).

      So I am a story about a little girl who did NOT think I was goeing anywhere whose now goieing to be a PARTNER at a New York City law firm, and mabye in 10 years or so become the next manageing Partner! Who would EVER have guessed or bet on me (beside’s my DAD?)

      So as I said, HANG IN THERE, GURL! MAY THE STRENGTH OF THE HIVE BE WITH YOU! YAY!!!!!!

    7. I found I did much better in classes taught by adjunct professors who actually practiced law. They tended to have a much more practical (as opposed to theoretical) approach that played to my strengths better.

    8. I’ll echo what everyone else said. Law school sucks.

      The only thing that may help is going to the prof about a month before the exam with some practice exam answers written out. You’ll get a sense of what they are looking for- i.e. some will want you to go over the entire history of that area of law, some just want what the answer is, etc.

  27. TJ – Help! I just spilled some soup on a silk blouse. It’s a dark blouse so it appears as a darker stain, like a water stain. Is there anything I can do right away to make sure the stain comes out??

    1. This is kind of gross, but I would put some saliva on it (the enzymes will break down the proteins in the milk), let it sit for 5-10 min, and then dab with cold water. And then handwash as soon as you can.

  28. DH and I want to switch cable companies or get rid of cable altogether to cut costs. Right now we have Comcast Xfinity. We (the adults) don’t watch much TV, but our kids watch the kids TV shows that are on demand. We are in the DC area if that makes a difference. Can anyone with FIOS tell me what the on demand kids’ options are like? Not interested in movies – more like kids’ shows from Cartoon Network etc. on demand. Or do you have to record things ahead of time? Those of you who have gotten rid of cable entirely – what do you use, Hulu? How does it work out with kids programs?

    1. I’m interested in this question, too. I’m considering buying Roku. Does anyone have it? Do you recommend it?

      1. Strongly recommend Roku. I have the most basic version, and it works great. As far as I can tell, the only difference between the most basic version and the expensive ones are higher def (didn’t care much since I’ve heard 720 vs 1080 only has a noticeable difference once you start getting up to 40in TVs and mine is only 32), gaming features, and Angry Birds. None of those were major draws for me, so I went for the cheapest version.

        I think you can get Netflix, Hulu+, Amazon Instant, Crackle and Pandora (maybe there are more – those are the only ones I ever use) and it’s really more than enough to find something to watch if you’re itching for some screentime.

      2. We love ours. We also have a blue-ray on another tv with streaming features, and the Roku’s user interface is much easier to use.

      3. LOVE Roku! We haven’t had cable for three years and don’t miss it one bit. We have roku and also get iTunes subscriptions to the shows we really love (just hook my husband’s laptop up to the TV to watch). I only wish that HBO would do whatever it needs to do to get out of the dark ages and start offering streaming. Send the Netflix DVDs back and forth is so 2005.

          1. Yes, but you have to have HBO already to use it. If you don’t have cable with HBO, it doesn’t work.

          2. Unless your tech-phobic parents give you their code instead. We just have Roku and get HBO Go using my parents’ subscription.

      4. I’ve had Roku for about 6 months, and I’m just starting to use it regularly. I haven’t yet gotten to the point of getting rid of cable, but that is my goal. My favorite Roku/Amazon moment? Watching the entire season 2 of Downton Abbey (thank you, Amazon Prime) last weekend.

    2. Can’t give you advice on the kids programs but can say that if I didn’t have a roommate, I’d happily cut out cable for my Roku Box with Hulu+, Netflix and Amazon Instant.

      The one thing you’ll really be hard pressed to find an alternative for is sports. So if you or your husband likes to watch live sports, there aren’t too many good internet-based options.

      1. Live walking distance to a bar with lots of live sports coverage? That is what we do.

      2. Depending on your internet provider, you may be able to stream ESPN through their website. My mom is a sports fanatic and was able to do this for some games since we didn’t have cable. However, if the sports you want are on another channel (in our case it was often Big 10 Network) you’re out of luck.

    3. I don’t have kids, but we cut cable 3 years ago. netflix has 57349875 kids shows. I don’t know how old your kids are, but if they are young enough to like the SAME SHOWS OVER AND OVER, you’ll be good to go. Netflix and Hulu have millions and millions of kids shows.

      If they are young teens that can’t miss the latest show on ABC Family or whatever, you may not be as happy.

      We subscribe to Netflix, have the basic network channels via rabbit ears (NBC, ABC, CBS, 6+ channels of public broadcasting–i think one is all cartoons!). We did a trial run of Hulu Plus, but it stinks. So we just use regular free Hulu.

    4. Netflix. The kids watch EVERYTHING on streaming – Thomas, Dora, Shaun the Sheep, Curious George, etc.

      Of course, if your kids are older, YMMV.

      1. We stream Netflix for the kids, Hulu Plus for us, and Amazon Instant for family movie night and spontaneous movies for DH and me. Hulu is better for recent shows (ie, cable alternative) but terrible for kids. Netflix is *great* for kids programming. Their instant movie selection is ‘meh’ (hence the Amazon Instant), but it’s good for kids now that they made the deal with Disney.

        We use a blu ray (Panasonic) that works great and are considering getting a Ruku for a second room.

    5. It’s worth trying (if you haven’t already) doing the online chat with Comcast. I was able to cut our cable bill in half for 6 months and get a year’s free on our HD DVD by chatting with customer service. Calling gets you different deals, but online was easier and fairly painless. It’s a PITA that you have to ask for discounts, as opposed to having reasonable pricing in the first place, but it worked.

  29. I was just asked to give a presentation to the C-suite at several different Major Clients. Our of our group, I am absolutely the most qualified (and articulate) (and humble!) person for the task, but I’m at least 15 years younger than the rest of my team.

    I have previously done this “road show” with someone else on my team–either my boss (SVP level) , or a peer in his late 40s that happens to have much less industry experience but a lot more life experience (he’s an AVP; I’m a director–and the youngest one in my company by a couple years). They have stopped asking the AVP level guy to join me because, i was told, “he’s just there to be some grey hair in the room.”

    Now that I’ll be doing this solo, any tips on looking older/having a more “seasoned” presence in front of very, VERY important people?

    I’m in my late 20s, no kids. Tips on wardrobe/hairstyle/topics of dinner conversation/presentation style that will help reinforce that I am a knowledgeable, credible source of information, despite my naturally dark hair, wrinkle-free face, and lack of cell phone photos of my grand kids?

    I know none of this should matter, but in my industry, it very much does.

    1. Have you ever read Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office by Lois Frankel? There are a lot of tips in there about how to add gravitas.

      To start, I’d dress in more mature styles, and make sure my hair and makeup were more mature-looking (no bright colors, no more-modern styles). More mature shoes, like lower heels. Make sure I spoke in a lower tone, giggled/smiled less, and limited my use of the word “like”. I’m sure you do those things already, though, if you’re being asked to go by yourself.

      And, uh, congratulations! What an amazing oppurtunity. :)

      1. Doesn’t look like my earlier comment will ever get out of moderation, so if you’re still reading…

        If your conversation partners mention that their kids or grand kids do something that you do, be careful how you respond. Besides pointing out your youth, you also point out how old they are, too old to be familiar with it. Instead of “me too” when I mention something my son does, I feel much more comfortable when the reply I get is something like “have you seen such and such?” That suggests that if I haven’t seen it, it’s just because I wasn’t looking, not because I’m old & unhip.

        Can you do research on the people you’re meeting with so you know not to talk about yoga if your conversation partner’s wife ran off with her guru? If you know their hobbies or where they used to live, that can give you conversation topics, even if it’s just “what was it like?”

    2. I think the physical appearance thing is a red herring. That you’re being asked to fly solo means that your company knows you can handle it on your own, and believe that you have the poise and presence to handle the presentation. This is big, and kudos to you!

      If the folks in your industry care about “older,” brush up on your knowledge of history in your industry. I’ll make up an industry. Say: concrete/asphalt. If there was a big development that changed the industry in say, 1969, be able to mention it (if it fits into the convo), so they know that you have more than just a very deep knowledge of the last few years of this industry.

      You’ve probably heard of _Nice Girls Don’t Get The Corner Office_, if not, page through the stuff on how to not do the body language of a little girl, which diminishes one’s gravitas. But I doubt you’re making those mistakes anyways.

      In dinner small talk, I’d avoid talking about anything (e.g. going clubbing) that gets lumped into “stereotypical young whippersnapper” activities. Do you like travel? Be able to talk about something interesting you discovered about a place when traveling there. It can show that you’re just generally knowledgeable about the world, and not a sheltered kid who doesn’t know how the “real world” works.

      I’m sorry your industry is fixated on the old = more knowledgeable thing. It’s simply not true.
      As an investor, I don’t assume that older = more knowledgeable. Older is just older. There are plenty of CEOs and CFOs that are stupid, and trust me, the old does not offset the stupid. And stupid is what blows up an investment.

    3. I’ve had to do this and it’s a tough balance. Sometimes I was trotted out in front of people to give the speech partially BECAUSE of my age, that is to say, the wunderkind image was part of the overall package designed to impress and show the company was young, fun and energetic, and steering too mature would have been counterproductive. YMMV on that, but remember and don’t discount the fact that youth can project its own power – think young, strong, driven.

      I think something like hair in a chignon, well fitting and expensive suit that fits perfectly (you *have* to pick clothes you are comfortable in, because if you feel like a little kid playing dress up in your boss’s suit, it’ll come across that way to the client as well — so for me, feeling comfortable and powerful in the outfit was much more important than making sure it was a “mature” style), obviously limit use of the word “like” as above, etc. I found I actually did much worse when I felt like I played up the “matronly/strong older woman” element because frankly, I’m not matronly and it felt like an act. I think the advice on speaking with a lower tone, practicing responses to questions (watch your facial movements in the mirror – you don’t have to smile with every single sentence which I am super guilty of), etc is good advice – but the hardest thing for me was accepting that when something felt very unnatural for me, forcing myself to do it didn’t end up projecting power – it ended up projecting discomfort.

    4. You get to wear the St. John’s suit that was featured here recently ;p
      No, seriously, congratulations!

      One thing that makes me (as the older one) cringe is when I relate something my son is doing and the person I’m speaking with responds by telling about their experiences with it. Seems to happen most often with internet/tech related stuff, so there’s the double cringe of “wow, I must be old to I have a kid who this person sees as in their league” and “really, do I look like I can’t do that stuff (because of my age)?” It works better for me when, instead of saying “I do that too”, the person says something like “have you seen that they have this out now?” To me, that focuses on the activity rather than the inherent comparison of themselves with my kid, and says that I might be familiar, and if not, maybe it’s just because I’ve been too busy to look.

      I’m sure you know who you’ll be speaking to. I’d do a little extra research on their personal histories so that if they mentioned, idk, living in CO, I’d already know that they worked with X corp to develop the microwavable burrito there. It makes conversations flow if they don’t have to constantly fill you in, and it flatters them to be so important that you know all about them.

    1. PLEASE look into this if you take sleeping pills. I prosecuted several cases of impaired driving last year from sleeping pills or sleeping pills + antidepressants/antianxiety meds.

  32. I don’t know why I’m getting stuck in moderation, but FYI ladies, Thomas Pink is having a sale on a bunch of their blouses right now. $60-75 marked down from close to $200.

    Also, there’s a gorgeous gorgeous dress that someone needs to buy. Link to follow.

    1. www dot us dot thomaspink dot com /Orchid-Dress/Women’s-Sale/thomas-pink/fcp-product/99925924#filters=TYPE!dresses

  33. Reposting from yesterday..

    I am just starting to study for the GMAT and I was wondering if I could get some advice on how to proceed. I feel so overwhelmed by all the options/books availble and I don’t want to waste time with a method that isn’t any good. Can you ladies please advise me on some study strategies that worked for you, what are considered the best books for GMAT study, and who are considered to be the best prep test companies?

    Thanks!!!

    1. I would look into getting into a class, if you can. I think Manhattan GMAT is probably the best company if you are hoping to score in the 700+ range, but almost all can get you to the 600 range.

      1. Thanks! One more question – is there something like Law School Transparency for MBA programs that breaks down salarys and industries for graduates?

        1. Looking at the comments below – everyone is right, you don’t HAVE to use a class. I used one because the structure of it was really helpful to me and doing HW assignments, etc, helped boost my score in a way I wouldn’t have self motivated. If you are self-motivated enough to handle it yourself, more props to you!

          I ended up scoring a 760 using a combination of :

          1) Princeton Review online class (I think it was about $300?)
          I didn’t read many of the PR books, but I did take this (self guided) class. It was helpful for me since there was stuff I hadn’t looked at since high school, especially for a lot of the math (when do you do permutations & combinations in everyday life?) and so there was a lot of material I needed to “relearn.” You probably could do this from a book since I didn’t do a class with a teacher.

          2) Official Guide to the GMAT (I can’t remember if this came free when I registered for the test or I bought it separately – Amazon says its ~$30

          GMAC publishes this every couple years and it’s definitely extremely useful. I would pick up a copy. However, it’s most useful at the early part of your study because it hits very few of the “hard” problems (also, all problem sets go in order of difficulty so the hardest problems are at the end. Even then, I would say the hardest problems in the OG paled in comparison both to the hardest problems from other companies (PR, MGMAT) and the hard problems I encountered on the test. However, I took the test in 2009 so maybe they’ve addressed this in the years since?

          3) Private tutoring (I only bought 3 hrs worth and I think it was ~$300)

          This wasn’t super necessary, more for my own peace of mind. I was having trouble with a lot of the harder math and thought a private tutor would help get me over the hurdle. He did, and I did well on the test so I can’t say I regret it, but this would be the first thing I cut if I did it again.

          The only downside I can see to studying from books is that you have to practice with computer adaptive exams before the GMAT. I found I did SIGNIFICANTLY better on paper tests than I did on the first computer adaptive test I took (who knows why, but it made a difference!) and you can’t get an accurate idea of what your score would be if you are only taking paper tests. Manhattan GMAT used to sell access to 6 tests online for ~$30 and I would definitely buy that (you also get two free tests on the GMAC website when you sign up – I’d save those until the end because they are most analogous to the actual GMAT).

          I took about twelve weeks in total to prepare, I think. Good luck on the test! I hope you rock it.

          As far as I know, there is no equivalent MBA transparency website, though it would certainly be nice. In general, I would guess the same caveats for law school apply to business school. Go to either:

          1) A top ranked program globally (Definitely US News Top 10, maybe as far as Top 25?)
          2) A regionally respected program, located in the place you want to live
          3) A lower ranked program only if its regionally respected (see 2) or you are going virtually for free, either through scholarships, paying as you go part time so no loans, or being sponsored by an employer.

          Good luck!

    2. I took the GMAT a few months ago and prepared on my own using Manhattan GMAT books, which I got for free from a friend. I paid for one Manhattan GMAT book (<$25) so I could access the 6 online practice tests, which were helpful. If you are good about forcing yourself to study and don't need a tutor or class to encourage you to do the practice problems, self-study is a good (and cheap) option. I personally found the Manhattan GMAT guidebooks to be better than Kaplan. I've occassionally seen GMAT classes on local deal sites at steep discounts – just something to keep in mind. Good luck!

    3. How much time do you have between now and when you hope to take the exam?
      If you don’t have a lot of time, there are test prep classes that can cram a lot of strategies into you in a short time. If you have a few months, you can buy a book, work through it, take diagnostics, see if you improve, etc.

      How good are you at studying without being prodded or put under time pressure (“must attend Class at 6pm, etc.)? If you’re good about hitting the books every day after work or after classes, you don’t need a class just for the motivational aspect. I have friends who took classes and found the other students distracting (some of their questions ate up all the time in the session, etc.)

      How much $ do you want to budget towards test prep?
      If you don’t have a lot of money, buy a book. Most of the books are fine, the REA ones sucked (but I took the GMATs a long time ago, maybe they’re less sucky now), Barron’s was OK, as were a few of the others. They usually come with a CD-rom with a test you can take online so it’s very much like the GMATs. It’s really a matter of “pushing the pencil.” It’s not a hard test. Do the work, and you’ll improve your results.

      Have you taken a diagnostic test yet and what was your score? Which section(s)s are you strong or weak in? If you’re doing OK across the board and want everything higher, I could see a comprehensive course. If you’re just weak in one area, see if there’s a course that only zeroes in on that area. Or, again, depending on money and time constraints, hit the books and work intensively on that section or type of problem.

      Good luck!

    4. I didn’t take a class. I just used the Princeton Review book and I was fine. My scores were very good.

    5. DH did the GMAT w/out prep. He’s a naturally good test taker, though, and did well on the SATs (though he did have a prep class for those). He bought 2 books, did all the practice tests (online especially!) and brushed up on vocab. There is now an app for the vocab part that gives you flashcards–that wasn’t available back in the stone age. He got a 760 or maybe a 780, idk, above 700 it often doesn’t much matter.

      Re salary transparency, i would say that 2 years out from his MBA program, salary was all over the map. He had classmates that went to work at nonprofits for <60k. He had people that got starting offers of 180k base + $$$ bonus. What industry are you going into?

      1. Salary expectations are tough. There is so much floating around out there about how MBAs are not paying off like they used to and salaries coming out are lower than they used to be. Unless you are going into a top-tier program, or expect to work for a T5 investment bank/consulting firm or head into a top-tier graduate scheme in a large company of some sort, I am not sure I would expect a huge bump in salary or drastically improved employment options just because you have an MBA.

        The WSJ just had an article about this the other day. Its main anecdotal and numerical data concerned numbers from the Univ. of Louisville (not exactly the country’s best b-school, though not the worst either), but maybe that’s a good example of an ‘average’ middle of the road outcome. Anyway, one of the people in the story said his MBA only boosted his salary by about $15k/year… probably after taxes, that’s barely enough extra a month to make a loan payment.

        I would just say read a combination of schools’ publications (knowing they might not be 100% transparent) and financial news on the matter, and weigh decisions based on your industry, your current position, your goals, etc.

    6. For GMAT prep, check into the website beatthegmat dot com. It’s a forum but it has a lot of free prep resources and helpful hints plus discounts on software, classes and books. I have no connection to the site. Like any site, there may be some mis-information but it has some good points.

  34. Rant. I love having a glass of wine in the evening, but I always feel guilty about it when I do. That sounds so silly even typing it, but why can’t I just enjoy it and move on? Annoying.

    1. This is a late reply, but coming from a two glass of wine per night girl, I wholeheartedly grant you permission to enjoy it and feel zero guilt. I can’t have a single glass because I’m pregnant and I just really miss it. I love wine.

    2. If it makes you feel better, on WW you can have a glass of wine every evening without blowing your points as long as you work out and watch what you eat. If it’s OK on a diet it must be OK not on a diet, right?

    3. Wine is good for you. Especially if it is only one glass. There is no need to feel guilty. That said, if you really do feel guilty, maybe have a cup of tea instead.

    4. What exactly do you feel guilty about? The calories, the alcohol, the fact that you’re indulging at all? Something else? Because the real problem is whatever the cause of your guilty feelings is, not the wine, so if you want to stop feeling guilty it’d help if you share with us why you feel guilty. Whatever it is, I’m sure you’re not alone.

    5. I have at least one glass a night. I also feel guilty about it but i have no idea why. it makes life so much better and it tastes great!

    7. Rant? Pfft. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with a glass of wine at the end of a day. Or 3.

  35. This may be too late on this thread so I may have to repost but does anyone in Toronto have a referral for a good therapist/psychologist? A friend of mine is having a bit of a rough time and asked for some recommendations

    Thanks!

    1. Kali Munro – her website is just her name .com. She’s around Dupont & Spadina. Good luck to your friend.

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