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Updated: Dec 14, 2020 437 Comments · by

Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Cashmere Zip-Front Curved-Hem Hoodie

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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I’m always excited about an elevated version of my favorite loungewear. While I’ve already extolled the virtues of the cashmere sweatpant, a cashmere hoodie is another way to drape yourself in a cozy knit.

I like the cut of this particular sweater — it’s slim-fitting, not boxy, and has a curved hem for a fun shape. If you want to make a full outfit out of it, you can add a cashmere tank or a wide-leg lounge pant.

The sweater is $295 and available in sizes XS–XL. In addition to the basic black, it also comes in ice blue, red, iris, petal, and heather grey. Cashmere Zip-Front Curved-Hem Hoodie

Sales of note for 9.30.24

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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About Elizabeth

Elizabeth is a 30-something lawyer living on the East Coast. She spent seven years as a Biglaw associate in NYC, three years as a partner at a medium-sized firm, and is now in-house counsel for a large company. She loves Diet Coke, '90s sitcoms, and dresses with pockets.

Comments

  1. Anon

    I’ve been talking to friends about imposter syndrome lately, and I realized that now that I’m mid-senior in my career I often find myself feeling…I dunno, reverse imposter syndrome? Like, I’m often convinced that nobody really knows what they’re doing (including me) and we’re all just making educated guesses. We’re right more often than we’re wrong and everyone has a healthy level of confidence but no one is 100% sure at all times. Could just be my situation (I work in consulting in Asia, on projects with high ambiguity and few overconfident dudebros), but does anyone else get what I’m talking about?

    • Ellen

      Yes, I do. Dad says you are “spot on”. He agrees there are NO clear answers to so many things, but that as we get more expereinced, we are better abel to provide advice that is right based on our prior situations. The only thing Dad is 100% sure of is if I don’t watch my step when I walk in Carl Schruz Park that I will step in dog poopie. It happens ALL THE TIME! I should have learned by now, but with the Pandemic, I wonder if people do not want to pick up their dog’s poopie any more b/c the police have more important things to enforce. Dad told me again today to be more carful when I walk in the park, as no man will want to get close to a woman who smells like dog poopie.

    • Anon

      I understand what you are saying. I work in an area where no one could possibly have the breadth and depth of knowledge to bring expertise to all of what we confront on a daily basis. Our greatest strength is our ability to analyze and react in a somewhat informed way, which requires good 360 degree vision and excellent spidey sense. But really having the answers? Nah, faking it.

      • Tea/Coffee

        100%. I get comments on a weekly basis – “I don’t know how you do what you do, it must be so hard, how do you keep it straight?” etc. My honest answer is “Gee, it’s great to know that I’m coming across as all-pulled-together b/c honestly I am making this up as I go and holding things together with bubble gum and duct tape” depending on my relationship with you, you may or may not actually get that response.
        I think it’s really helpful to acknowledge when pure chutzpah / spidey sense is at play – I find it makes others more willing to challenge me, which can be helpful.
        Very eye opening to realize that my company’s leadership is also winging it, albeit with flashier words :-)

    • Anonymous

      This is a sign of experience. The more you know, the more you know you don’t know.

    • Anonymous

      I would describe what you wrote as gaining an appreciation for uncertainty and an understanding of the importance of risk management. Very few things are 100%. In the consulting you are describing, you are likely making the best recommendation on the data gathered. You need to manage the risk that you have gathered enough data. Too little increases the risk that your recommendation won’t solve the issue and too much creates risk that you are too expensive, can’t meet the timeline, are frustrating the client. Knowing the sweet spot comes with experience. I also sometimes call that wisdom.

    • Cat

      I feel this way about adulthood, generally. It’s refreshing in a way – like no, mom and dad didn’t really know everything, they just gave the best advice they could based on their experience! I read a joke about half of adulthood really being “looking around for an adultier adult” and thought that was a good way of expressing it!

      • AnonATL

        Same. I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older that no one really knows what they are doing. Some people are just better at faking it/embracing it than others.

    • Anonymous

      Yup. As a senior litigation associate who has started running cases on my own, I realize the partners aren’t mystical all-knowing creatures — they’re making their best educated guesses just like I am. Sometimes I run a strategy question by them and they’re like “yeah, sure, why not, seems ok” and I’m like… ok so we are all just winging it, cool.

      • Anonymous

        No, not winging it. As you mature you develop a sense of what is most likely to work given your facts, judge and the law, and what isn’t. I also found that after a few years of practice I could predict the answer to a question I had not yet researched with about a 70 percent level of certainty and provide that as my initial recommendation subject to having the research done.

    • blueberry

      I’m much more junior in my career, but also in a place with high ambiguity, and I 100% know the dudebros are just making it up as they go to. Not that that’s a bad thing, but its a difficult area and people often sound more confident than they really are, and the ship really does fly patched together with duct type and super glue. It’s scary (and empowering) to realize that many times I am the adult in the room!

    • Anon

      So, my reaction to this is, “yep, that’s what they’re paying you for.” I don’t mean that unkindly. But I am a consultant (not for a big company) and I very much feel that what our clients pay us for is for us to take our critical thinking and problem-solving skills, couple that with the knowledge that we have, and make good solid educated guesses about how to get things done. I get paid for thought partnership and perspectives, not because I magically have all the answers. I have done and seen a lot in my field and that informs my thinking and perspectives, and experience has taught me a lot about certain situations. But every situation is unique and if there was a one-size-fits-all solution to the client’s problem, I wouldn’t be working with them because they wouldn’t need me. As high-level professionals we’re paid for our judgement as much as our knowledge. My $.02.

    • Bonnie Kate

      Yes, absolutely. 10 years into my career and I find this very comforting to realize. While I don’t know all the things, I’ve been through enough situations at this point where I didn’t know all the things and everything turned out quite well. Also, I now know enough to recognize when very experienced people are making educated guesses, sometimes wrong, but figure it out to get it right in the end.

    • Emma

      I feel like this all the time. I give advice for a living, so I try to channel my dad’s motto that an expert is someone who knows 15% more than someone else on a topic. No one actually knows it all.

    • Anonymous

      Yup, 100%. I just had a really good networking chat with a CEO of a pretty decent sized company. I hung up and was like d@mn, that guy was super interested in me [professionally], and what a bozo; I’d never work for him.

      I have done a lot of consulting so seen the underbelly of a lot of companies by now, and I’ve helped write enough pitch decks to learn that bankers will fund all kinds of crazy ideas.

      20 year old me would think the CEO of anything was a brilliant person who was never wrong. 35 year old me is trying to figure out what kind of business I want to start because someone out there has money to give me.

    • CPA Lady

      Absolutely. I’ve had so many moments in my career where I’ve realized that:

      – really senior people google stuff too, especially now when the tax code changes dramatically every couple of years
      – a lot of what I thought was genius level competence of senior people doesn’t come down to above average intelligence but to the variety of experiences they’ve had in a long career– you learn a lot when you deal with a bizarre situation, and they’ve had the opportunity to encounter a lot of bizarre situations over many years
      – the amount of responsibility given to employees varies wildly from firm to firm, so it doesn’t really “mean” anything. I was given the amount of responsibility that a senior manager with 10-15 years of experience would have at my former job, 5 years into my career after switching to a smaller firm. I secretly thought it was going to be a disaster. It’s been fine.
      – people who are straight up dumb or lazy still get promoted to partner if they’re appropriately bro-y or have good enough connections in the community or any kind of niche knowledge or credential.
      – the IRS doesn’t audit the vast majority of returns. I’ve seen a good variety of returns that have major, visible problems not get audited.
      – a tax return doesn’t have to be “perfect”, it just has to be good-faith, basic-competence, done. If there’s a problem it can usually be worked out. With some of the new tax laws, even the IRS is confused. So we just all do our best and hopefully it works out.
      – people are not necessarily paying us for our brilliance and perfection, but because they don’t want to have to deal with a problem and we do at least know more than they do

      • Vicky Austin

        I always love reading your advice, CPA Lady, but I’m especially relieved to know that even the IRS is confused right now!

    • Anonymous

      Yes, I know what you mean. I am now 12 years out of law school and I can see this evolution in some of the new attorneys we hire (and saw it in myself too). First, they know nothing and know that they know nothing. Then after about two years, they feel more confident and act like they are experts and know everything. After about 5-7 years, we all realize that we don’t know everything and are just doing our best to make educated guesses everyday haha. Now 12 years out I realize that I know some things, but am just winging it most of the time LOL. Same goes for being an adult, parenting, etc. People tell me I look like I have it all together, but I am winging it for sure.

    • Elegant Giraffe

      100% yes. We’re all just guessing with mediocre information and good intentions. I’m in K-12 public ed.

  2. Barbour Scarf?

    Has anyone purchased a barbour scarf before? I lost my favorite scarf and am looking to replace it. For winter, I wear mostly black, maroon, tan, and dark green and would like one scarf that goes with them all. I was looking at the Barbour scarves on Nordstom, but some of the reviews aren’t great.
    Open to other suggestions as well. Bonus points if I can machine-wash it though I realize the barbour is dry-clean.

    • anne-on

      If you can find them on sale I’ve been VERY pleased with the C by Bloomingdales Cashmere scarf. My default color for scarves is either light grey or camel as I wear mostly grey/navy/red/green (with black on occasion). It says dry clean but I’ve washed it on delicate and hung to dry with no ill effects (as I’ve done with other cashmere many times as well).

    • Anon

      You might do better for the same look but better quality by looking for scarves from traditional Scottish woolen companies like Begg, Johnston’s of Elgin, or lochcarron — most of them ship to the US now. A lot of companies make washable wool, but I don’t know about those particular companies. Although I machine wash my extremely high quality 20 year old Lord and Taylor cashmere sweaters without incident (cold, gentle, lingerie bags, dry flat) :)

  3. Cb

    Has anyone done a good guided reflection for the new year? Questions for reflecting on the past year and the future? I feel like I need some 2020 closure.

    • Betsy

      The maker of the Get to Work Book planner has a framework the she sends out in her newsletter that I really like – this year’s version hasn’t been added to the archive yet, but last years is available here: https://www.elisejoy.com/oldnewsletters. I always do some sort of annual reflection, but I agree with you that it feels especially necessary this year!

      • Curious

        I like that hers has just two questions (what did you do and how do you feel). Maybe we can do them in the comments section one day :)

    • Anon

      I am also following because I would love to do something like this.

      In the event you don’t get any other responses, this isn’t exactly what you asked for, but I feel like it could fit the bill. I did a 21-day abundance meditation over the summer (by Deepak Chopra). Which, I know some people feel like he’s a little scammy – and whatever maybe he is, I don’t really know – but I got it for free (it is on Spotify and the internet generally), and it came with journaling exercises and was actually really nice and made me reflect on a lot of things in my life generally, and had a lot of good mantras, and was a good refresh for me in the midst of covid. So if you don’t find exactly what you’re looking for, that could be a good one to check out.

    • Anonymous

      I have considered (but not yet had the time for… because toddlers) Year Compass (yearcompass.com) – free downloadable booklet with a set of guided reflection questions.

    • Bonnie Kate

      I hadn’t thought about this but I love this idea. There will definitely be ones on the Insight Timer app, probably closer to New Years. You could also look on Pinterest for New Year journal questions.

      I’m glad you posted; I really like this idea….I’m a yoga teacher with a student email list that has been basically dormant all year long because my yoga studio plans are on indefinite hold until the pandemic ends. This would be a nice thing to send out to close the year with some reflection questions specific to 2020.

  4. Anon

    Can anyone recommend a wall frame for a record cover? Especially the ones that drop down so you can just put the vinyl in there too, although this isn’t a requirement. I’m looking for a thin black metal frame. I don’t want to do anything custom.

  5. BeenThatGuy

    Fluff topic for a dreary Monday morning…Can we talk about yearly recaps? I get why companies like Spotify, Netflix, Peloton, American Express, etc do this. Recaping what you listened to, watched, exercised or spent might have some value to some people. But I was pushed over the edge this morning when Dunkin Donuts felt the need to remind me how much I loved Iced Lattes in 2020. Anyone else get some ridiculous recaps or is it just me?

    • Cb

      Dunkin Donuts, that’s painful! I don’t want recaps which make me feel ashamed. I don’t mind the google maps or strava ones.

    • Ribena

      I got one from the app I use to do my grocery shopping lists. Apparently my most-purchased items were bottled (sparkling) water, chickpeas, and coffee – though that doesn’t count impulse purchases

      • Vicky Austin

        See, I’m admittedly a grocery nerd but I would be interested in this one. Not so much the Dunkin’ though!

        • Abby

          For the last 2 years I’ve kept a very detailed budget spreadsheet and also track what I buy from the grocery store. In 2019 out of all fruits and veggies, we spent the most on mushrooms and in the alcohol section, tequila won by a landslide. I’m pretty interested to see what my 2020 review will be

      • Bonnie Kate

        Ooh what’s the app? I just use the Notes feature but that’s sometimes kind of clumsy.

        • Ribena

          Bring! (The exclamation mark is part of the name).
          I used to use OurGroceries but I like the little pictures I get with this one, and it roughly sorts stuff into categories, so all the fresh fruit and veg will sit next to each other on the list.

    • Carrots

      I haven’t gotten any ridiculous ones, but I have to say the Dunkin’ recap made me chuckle.

    • Anonymous

      That seems like a bad business strategy. Tracking expenses and calories are generally recommended strategies to motivate people to stop drinking fancy coffees. If Starbucks tallied up the number of lattes I’d bought this year before I quit going due to the pandemic, I’d be so horrified that I’d probably swear off of Starbucks forever.

      • Anon

        Whoa totally agree…definitely do not want to know how much I spent on Starbucks this year.

      • Anon

        Totally agree. One year, either Lyft or Uber sent me a yearly recap with how much I had spent, and I was surprised at the total. It quickly changed my habit of calling for a car when I was tired instead of walking or public transit.

      • Anon

        I agree! The quickest way for me to drop my latte habit would be for Starbucks to tell me a) how much I spent and b) how many empty calories I drank!

        • Grinchina

          Can we also add “holiday messages from our CEO to you” that clog the inbox. Like, unless you’re sending me a coupon or promo code, be gone.

  6. notinstafamous

    TW weight loss

    Due to some car crash injuries, a slowing metabolism, and covid, i have fallen out of an exercise regime and gained some weight / lost some strength over the last 2 years. I haven’t ever had to think about weight loss before – does anyone have any science-based materials or practical suggestions on how I can adopt new healthier habits? Suggestions on proactive measures for sustainable weight loss while I work back up my fitness? Google is leading me to 900,000 contradictory results.

    • MagicUnicorn

      I recently listened to an interview with Daniel Ek and his comments on exercise stuck with me. He said he chooses to do activities he likes and enjoys, and do them on a schedule that is sustainable. He lost something like 40 pounds doing this.

      This has long been my philosophy, although it has taken a while for me to recognize and articulate it. Any time I try to push myself to do a workout I hate or a schedule that just doesn’t work for me, I end up dropping it altogether for weeks or months on end. When I let myself do lots of the things I like, and try new ones to see if I might like them, I find I am able to stick with it and see the benefits.

      • Anon

        +1

        Life is too short to do workouts you hate! Most of my workouts are outdoor activities or sports (well, in the before times). I spin, do strength workouts a few times a week (and really enjoy them) and occasionally run but most of what I do is just being active – biking, hiking, kayaking, playing tennis, playing in a field hockey league.

        Im very goal oriented, so I pick attainable fitness and nutrition goals. Like, I want to workout 120 minutes a week or I want to spin/bike 150 miles this month. My daily nutrition goals are one healthy meal and 64 oz of water. Very attainable.

        I’m in the midst of trying to lose the weight I gained when working 80 hour weeks and eating all of the break room pizza earlier this year

      • Anon

        I hate exercise, and always will. I don’t want to go to a gym, or do sports, or hike. There is no such thing as “movement I enjoy”. I want to sit on my butt and read a book.

        I use a treadmill or an elliptical because I can read while I use them. That’s it, that’s my trick. Do cardio that’s mindless enough that I can enjoy a book at the same time.

        • Anon

          Along this line, for me, getting a dog was key. I may not want to walk for me but it makes my dog so happy that I will walk a couple extra miles just for her.

          • Anonymous

            +1 for a dog. A tired dog is a good dog. If mine doesn’t get her 4.2 miles every day, she barks all afternoon. It’s a powerful motivator.

    • Lilliet

      If you’re not a cold turkey habit builder (I’m not) focus on adding in the good and the bad will weed itself out, slowly. If you focus on adding in more vegetables, you don’t feel deprived of your sweets (this was me) but eventually, the veggies become more of a habit and the sweets become less and less (I’ve trained myself to reach for baby carrots instead of leftover Halloween candy, for example). If I want to decrease carbs (but no one really *wants* to) I find the healthy substitute and make the rule that I eat that first, and then if I have the room or the inclination, to go after that garlic bread I wanted. But as exercise, healthy eating, better sleep, and more water drinking pile on… the less-good foods really do come now in moderation for me.

      • Aunt Jamesina

        This is somewhat like what I do. When I find myself indulging more than I should, I switch to a fruit/veggies first policy. That means that if I want a snack or a treat, I have to first have some vegetables or piece of fruit, and before I eat a meal, I do the same. I think of it as preloading with good stuff, and I find myself less likely to overindulge. A lot of the time it helps me realize that I’m not actually hungry since I don’t want to eat the fruit/veg.
        On the other end of this equation, when I’ve fallen off the workout train I start with only ten minutes of exercise every day– and the key is that I’m NOT allowed to do more than ten minutes, so the mental hurdle is much smaller. What I’m really working on when I do this is just building the habit even though I’m not getting much of a workout in. I increase by a few minutes (but not too many!) each week until I’m at 30+ minutes 5ish days of the week.

        • Anon

          I do a similar rule – on days I don’t want to work out, I have to start but I can decide after 5 minutes if I want to be done. The momentum of doing things 5x a week is so key, so even if I do quit after 5 minutes, at least I got the momentum.

      • AnonATL

        Are you doing the basic “digital only” subscription? I’ve been considering it to get rid of some of the postpartum weight and back on track with healthy eating habits.

        • Anon

          Anonymous at 9:44 here – yes, digital only. (And their “meetings” are over Zoom these days anyways.) I seriously love it. So easy! I lost 30 lbs doing it. I signed up for the level with a personal coach – we chatted once a week for 10-15 minutes and she’d ask what was going well, what wasn’t, oh hey, it’s Christmas, let’s have two cookies instead of twenty-two, etc.

          And like others below said, it’s really easy and there are a ton of foods available that you can eat unlimited quantities of (again, not that you’d necessarily want to) – chicken breasts, most seafood, fruits, veggies, eggs – it’s just really enjoyable. And their in-app “Facebook” is super encouraging with recipe hints, before & afters, etc.

        • Anonymous

          Literally it did not. There are minimum 200 foods you can eat without even tracking. Totally fine that it didn’t work for you but please don’t spread misinformation.

        • Anon

          Has it been a while since you tried WW? I’m a different poster than the one you’re responding to, and am actually over diets in all forms so I’m not currently on WW and don’t ever plan to be again, but I was on WW in the past and there are certain foods that have 0 points – so you could literally eat an unlimited number of 0 points foods (I mean you might not *want* an unlimited level of baked skinless chicken breasts, but you could have as many as you want on the WW plan)- so I just don’t really see how this could put you on starvation-level rations.

        • Anonymous

          really? I posed below about my success with it and I’m so surprised at this. Maybe it has changed? I ended up on the “blue” plan with 23 points and I often ended the day with 10-15 points (which is enough for 2 glasses of wine and a tiny handful of M&Ms) while eating huge meals. I just ate a LOT of 0 point foods (chicken & eggs & fruit mostly). Were 0 point foods not a thing when you did it?

        • Anonymous

          Did you do it in the 1980s? You can basically have unlimited amount of health foods. There is great info on how to balance your meals. Nothing is off limits – you can indulge and eat healthier the rest of the week to balance it out or vice versa and there are tons of suggestions for beginner exercise activities to start a more active lifestyle.

          • Anon

            Ditto this. I don’t know when you did it, but it wasn’t any time within the last decade.

        • Anon

          I also felt this way on WW when I did it from 2004-2006. Supposedly it’s different now. I’m also insanely short, which contributes.

          Regardless, I now use MyFitnessPal and keep a Mediterranean DASH diet.

    • Anon

      I don’t know if this applies, but giving myself permission not to eat foods that I don’t really want to eat has really helped me (I guess this is part of intuitive eating). I found that a lot of the eating that was getting me off track was social, habitual, or cultural in some way… So now I don’t eat cake just because it’s someone’s birthday, or cookies just because it’s Christmas, or popcorn just because I’m watching a movie, etc. unless I actually want to eat those things, as foods, at that moment, and not just participate in the tradition.

    • Anonymous

      Intuitive eating. It’s the only approach I’ve found that allows me to maintain my weight while not restricting the foods I eat. I exercise for pleasure and to be fit for the sports I love (that’s also key – find the active hobbies you love).

      • Anon

        +1 the day I realized I didn’t have the arm strength to paddle out to go surfing was the day I started incorporating strength workouts into my routine! I’ve developed a lot of active hobbies, so a) when I’m doing my hobbies I”m being active but b) I want to stay in good shape in the off season (since most are seasonal) so that I can partake in my hobbies when its that time of year again!

        • Anonymous

          What strength have you found most helpful for surfing? I did a lesson and was shocked at how weak my arms were. Even if I can’t get out again anytime soon (not feasible during the pandemic for me), it was really clear I needed to work on my shoulders…

          • Anon

            Well that was at the end of this summer, so I’ll report out next year :)

            I had just, for a long time, had natural strength from playing sports and being active (until the covid atrophy hit) so I never lifted just for surfing. I’m overall trying to build strength this winter so am doing a few different things but no set plan or anything!

            In my attempts to learn how to do push-ups, I’ve learned that I have very little chest strength which insure plays a big role in paddling

      • Anon

        If I intuitive ate I would be the size of a house. Listening to my body is why I need to lose weight in the first place–bodies lie.

        • LaurenB

          I agree with this. My body wants me to lie on the couch and stress-eat (and hey, isn’t 2020 made for stress eating). My body likes chocolate and carbs in mass quantities, and doesn’t like a lot of vegetables or salads. I have to make deliberate, conscious choices (which sometimes includes the choice of – oh, the heck with it, I’m going to indulge).

          • Anonymous

            “Gentle nutrition” is an established part of intuitive eating. I think there is a lot of misinformation out there about what IE actually is. I encourage you to check it out if you want to correct some of those misconceptions.

        • Anon

          So I’m just going to push back on this a little bit. (I am overweight for sure, so I know I’m not the healthiest person.) I always thought the same as what you are saying here, like intuitive eating means I’ll be the size of a table, but this year has been so difficult for me emotionally for a lot of reasons, and so I was just kinda like, this can’t be the year I care about losing weight. So I did, and ate, whatever I wanted. And for a while that meant carbs all the time, ice cream every night, etc. And then all of a sudden I just stopped wanting those things. Like I hardly drink alcohol anymore – I’ll open a bottle of wine and have one glass and then weeks will go by until I even want a drink again and by then the wine has gone bad, I still have several pints of ice cream in the freezer that aren’t even opened because I just don’t want it or crave it. After indulging every craving I had for months, I’ve just stopped craving them. It’s definitely weird, and I wasn’t expecting it, but it is what happened. For me, that means that, while I haven’t lost weight, my size has stopped creeping up.

          • Anon

            This was my experience with intuitive eating. It’s like I stopped craving things when I stopped rationing them?

          • Anonymous

            Yep, my experience too. I used to binge eat as a teenager (as in an entire box of Rice Krispy treats in one day) so I mean it when I say that this was a huge concern of mine. I thought if I “let myself go,” I’d never stop eating. However, intuitive eating did NOT lead to out-of-control eating for more than a brief period while my body adjusted to having “permission.”

            Also, being “overweight” means nothing about your health or fitness.

          • HangryJo

            This was exactly me. I ate so much crap when I started IE because I had been denying myself of those things for so long. Once I stopped restricting myself it felt like a free-for-all. But eventually… those things just lost their allure. I used to literally be able to eat an entire bag of potato chips in one sitting right after dinner, seriously. Now? I might have a handful or even a bowl full, but then that’s it. I can keep whatever in the house – because nothing is off-limits, I don’t binge on anything any more. My body actually feels much better when I eat more fruits and vegetables and less junk food, and so that’s kind of just how I eat now. I NEVER thought this would be possible for me. F$#@ diet culture forever.

        • Anonymous

          This kind of response is VERY typical for people new to intuitive eating (like happens 90% of the time). I encourage you to do a little reading.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t know if this is helpful, but I am a terrible dieter and a pretty crappy exerciser if it’s for the purpose of losing weight. I’m 38 and I’ve lost 30lbs this year (first double digit weightloss EVER and I’m now back to the healthy weight I was in college and a BMI of 23–I gained 20 lbs over the course of having 3 kids and getting older and exercising less and then COVID caused another 10). I did it with weight watchers, even though I hated paying $25 for the app and I hated even more that I have become that middle aged lady on weight watchers :). BUT to spare you that, the themes of the program are to eat foods that are lean and fairly impossible to binge on (and even if you do, they are fairly low calorie). The changes to my diet were a shift from red meat to chicken, eating a LOT more eggs, and having delicious fruit around constantly so I could grab that instead of whatever salty/cracker sort of snack I default to. I also switched to a morning breakfast of fat free greek yogurt, raspberries and a little bit of granola. I did not give up wine and I often budgeted my day to ensure I had room for a glass or two plus some M&Ms. A girl can’t give up everything.

      On the exercise front, I’m not sure how mobile you are, but we did a LOT of family walks this fall. It’s getting colder so I may convince my husband to let me put a bar in the basement so I can do workouts down there with my daughter who is begging to do “ballet exercises” with me again.

    • Anon

      I prize convenience in my cooking and eating, and given stress, fatigue, or lack of time, the temptation to do “easy” is what leads me into bad habits. Freezing healthy but delicious meals I’ve made myself really keeps me on track. I bought a garage freezer just before the pandemic, and it’s full of soups that I made on the weekends; Indian instant pot recipes; stews, stir fries, meal prep — any microwavable or heatable meal where I can completely control the ingredients and approximate calorie count at cooking but it’s super easy and convenient when I’m too tired or lazy to cook. I also like fish, so I keep a really good stock of frozen salmon, halibut, tilapia, and shrimp if I want to cook something. Roasted sheet pan vegetables or simple sautéed vegetables are usually my sides.

      I think the trick is figuring out what you like to eat that is healthy in whatever way you are defining it, and then making it as easy as possible to eat that way as often as possible. It sounds trite but there are multiple ways to get there — I hate meal planning but lots of people find that successful. I tried one of those delivery services but it was too hard to manage my likes/medical requirements with the choices although the convenience was great. Someone without GERD might find this a non-issue!

      For exercise, accountability works for me — I started working out with a personal weight trainer about 4 years ago. We just switched to Zoom meetings because I was fortunate enough to have a good weight room set up. Zoom actually makes me more likely to not skip — because I’m WFH and there’s just fewer obstacles. I can roll out of bed and be ready to workout in 10 minutes. TRX straps are one of the few pieces of exercise equipment that seem to be readily available for home use, and I love mine.

    • Anon

      No S Diet (look it up online)–free and effective. Set it and forget it for life.

    • Shelle

      My weird motivational trick was reframing exercise and healthy eating as “habits of the wealthy” that I indulge in and aspire to. Nutritious foods and gym memberships / clothes / equipment aren’t cheap. When I was working part-time through college I didn’t have the time or money to spare for these things. I’m so grateful that I’m able to invest in myself now. YMMV with this method ha! But it makes me feel weirdly glamorous and successful whenever I would walk into my (cheapo) gym in pre-Covid times, and even now when I pop on a free barre video. Like other posters commented, it’s all about finding what personally motivates you.

      • LaurenB

        I like your reframing trick. This sounds really odd, but I sort of have a girl-crush on the owner of my studio and I think “what would she do” when faced with food and exercise choices.

        • Shelle

          Agreed! It’s almost like a fantasy I act out, pretending I’m Chrissy Teigen doing some glam routine. The barre video I mentioned is free on YT but it’s billed as “by Selena Gomez’s trainer”. Who knows how true that is but it’s what keeps me coming back.

  7. Anonymous

    This is always a hard day as I always remember that this was the day (8 years ago) that I was fired from my first professional job which was also my dream job. And while I’ve landed just fine, I never got back to that level of job and the trajectory I would have been on in is not attainable. So I went to the meeting, got fired, walked out the door not knowing where to go, walked to the hotel next door because it had a bar that is only frequented by tourists so you’re less likely to run into a coworker, and that bar had huge TVs where I then sat for hours and watched the Sandy Hook horror unfold. It’s been 8 years — will I ever NOT shed a few tears on this day?

    • Go for it

      From this stranger I give permission to you for the answer of maybe not, and that it is okay to allow yourself an annual day of mourning.
      As to the looking back part, it does sound like you stare ….and proceed to hold yourself out on a meat hook annually, that is different than grief and is worth unpacking in therapy.
      Big hugs to you.

    • PNW

      What an awful grim day that was. I always dread my “look back” Facebook memories on this day. Having an upsetting personal episode to add to the memory is hard.

      Hugs across the internet.

      • Anon

        Just fyi, I don’t know if it is FB or Apple but one of the two lets you pick dates you do not want to see memories from or people you never want to see again in memories. It is a useful took for stuff like this.

        • Sloan Sabbith

          Unless something has changed very recently, it is not Apple. In October, I contacted them to ask if there was any way they could stop showing me photos of my best friend’s funeral. They suggested “delete them.” There is also no way to get them to stop asking “Do you want to share these photos with Friend?” Photos of her funeral.

  8. Anon

    last week someone on the mom’s board commented that all we know about the covid vaccine is that they make the vaccinated person much less likely to get sick and if they do get sick, it is likely to be less severe, but we don’t know if people who get the vaccine can still spread covid. obviously if someone gets the vaccine and still gets covid, they can still spread covid, but i guess i don’t fully understand – were the people in the trials not tested for covid on a weekly basis to see if they had it even if they were asymptomatic? and was any contact tracing done as part of the trials or no?

    • Cat

      I don’t know all the answers to your questions but — isn’t this why it’s best that everyone get the vaccine?

      Then (1) the odds of anyone catching it are far lower, so (2) the odds of any particular person being able to spread it are far lower, and (3) anyone who *does* catch it is way less likely to have severe symptoms and die.

      Meaning… we can all go about our business again.

      • Anon

        Not OP but for me it is important because my husband will be eligible for the vaccine before I will. Once he is vaccinated, he is expected to resume more of his normal in-person work tasks. Whether he is comfortable doing that or not will depend on whether he can still carry the virus home to me.

        A friend of mine caught COVID at work and was sick about 4 months ago. He recently learned a coworker he was in close contact with was positive. His work had him still get tested even though he has had it before. He tested positive even though he is totally asymptomatic.

        If vaccine work the way antibodies work, it means we can still be carriers. When there is widespread vaccination this won’t be a problem but for the first year or two, it absolutely will be unless entire households get priority due to an essential worker.

        • Anonymous

          Just curious if your coworker tested negative at some point in between? I remember reading early on that positive tests can continue for a long time after symptoms have ended…

        • LaurenB

          “If vaccine work the way antibodies work, it means we can still be carriers. When there is widespread vaccination this won’t be a problem but for the first year or two, it absolutely will be unless entire households get priority due to an essential worker.”

          Since my husband is getting the vaccine tomorrow (appropriately so as a front-line physician), how would you monitor that? I mean, if someone said to me “everyone in your household gets priority bc your husband is a front-line physician,” and my household is really only him and me, what would prevent us from claiming that my young adult children and my elderly mother live with us (or have chosen to shelter with us during the pandemic) and thus they should be in line as well? I mean, that’s not the right thing to do and I wouldn’t do it, but I don’t know how you would monitor this all. Anyone even remotely related to a front-line physician or nurse would claim to be in that household.

          • Anonymous

            It’s not that hard to verify a person’s residence address. Schools have been doing it for a long time.

          • Anon

            That’s a good point Lauren. I’d like to think people would be honest but who am I kidding. I was less suggesting that whole households get the vaccine (though I could understand if they did, particularly for household’s of medical staff treating COVID patients) but more for people whose employers are suggesting a change to the work environment based on the vaccine, wait until it is more widely available than just available to that employee. Just as an example, think teachers. They may be allowed to work remote now but will have to go in-person after being vaccinated. But if they can still carry it, what about their at-risk household members? (Note – I know how important school is. Just using this as an example. Substitute any other profession you want.)

            To answer your question though, I think there are ways it could be verified though it would be time consuming. Maybe instead of verifying there could be strict penalties for lying. Termination of employment or even criminal penalties. Or limit it to household members that are high risk (age or medical condition) and require a doctor’s note? Doctors generally know where their patients reside. Just ideas but all involve burdening an overly burdened system.

          • LaurenB

            Yes, Anonymous, I get that you can verify someone’s residence, but for all someone knows my young adult children chose to come live with me temporarily in the ‘burbs during the pandemic because they would have access to a larger house, parks, etc that they don’t have in their city apartments or they wanted to be in our bubble for companionship. Or I moved my elderly mother in with me to keep an eye on her. People certainly do do those kinds of things. How would you tell the difference between a situation where those things were legitimately true and they were “legitimate” members of a healthcare provider household, and situations in which people might lie?

        • Anonymous

          Not OP, but I had a coworker test positive who was ill in the spring and then she subsequently tested negative multiple times, and then test she tested positive again when she was hospitalized for an unrelated condition early this fall. During that stay, she was treated as having active COVID.

      • Anon

        While I hear what you are saying, I think we can all acknowledge that it’s probably going to be 6 months (?) before we get that level of vaccinated even if everyone is willing, and even longer for kids and other populations that have barely been tested on yet. So the question of how everyone should behave in the interim is an important one.

        • Cat

          Oh, I misunderstood the OP’s concern. (i.e., whether the vaccine is good, vs. how to behave in these early stages.)

    • Anon

      Based on what I read about other vaccines, it would be very unusual if these vaccines prevented disease but still allowed the healthy vaccinated person to spread disease. This possibility is pure speculation.

      • Hooray!

        Right? This rampant speculating is not science-based and so not helpful. Like if aliens came down and created something slightly different . . . JUST NO. This is not how things work. If you don’t know how things work, say that; don’t engage in scaremongering and speculation about what you don’t know (it’s not shown to be effective against spreading via housecats — WHAT ABOUT THAT?!? Stop.)

      • Anonymous

        Actually, there IS developing science that shows the vaccines don’t prevent disease spread. It’s not pure speculation.

        – Some in the biotech industry.

          • anon

            Right, but in OP’s situation, where one member of a couple is a frontline healthcare worker and gets the vaccine first, it seems really important to know if that healthcare worker is still able to carry the disease from patient to patient, or from patients to home.

          • LaurenB

            “Right, but in OP’s situation, where one member of a couple is a frontline healthcare worker and gets the vaccine first, it seems really important to know if that healthcare worker is still able to carry the disease from patient to patient, or from patients to home.”

            But that doesn’t really change anything. My husband’s protocols about safely interacting with his patients aren’t going to lessen now that he has the vaccine. If he was a risk vector in bringing it home to me, he’s been that risk vector for 8 months now.

          • Anonymous

            Lauren, it’s not the same when the decision to go back to in-person work or school is predicated on vaccination. Yes, your husband has been exposed this whole time. But many employers and schools are going to push to bring workers and students back in person as soon as the vaccine is available to those workers and students, which will increase the risk to their families. People from those households should not be pressured to *increase* their own exposure if they are vaccinated but their household members are not.

    • Microbiologist

      The short answer is no. Vaccine trials involved tens of thousands of people and that would have been a huge amount of additional testing to add to an already monumental effort. The problem is that vaccines don’t stop you from getting covid- they stimulate your immune system to recognize it quickly and fight it off before you get sick, but you could still shed a lot of virus for a day or two while this is happening. You’d have to be testing pretty much daily to pick this up. This article is good: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/08/health/covid-vaccine-mask.html

    • Anon

      Yes I’m curious about this too. My in-laws seem to think that once THEY get the vaccine, they can come visit all the grandkids even if we haven’t gotten it yet. But I’m not clear if they would be spreading it between households when they jump from one house to the other. I also have an essential work husband, so if/when he gets the vaccine but me and the kids do not, what will that mean for his potential exposures? Will he still need to stay separate from us?

      I’m hoping there will be clear communication about what exactly the vaccine means and how to interact when some are vaccinated and some aren’t, particularly if it will be months or even years before it’s approved in kids. I know there are study write-ups, but I’m not a scientist or doctor so I’m not sure my interpretation would be the appropriate one.

      • Anonymous

        I really worry about this as it relates to school reopening. The NYT article on priority order made it look like my kid will get vaccinated before my husband and I will, because middle-aged people who can WFH are very last on the priority list. (Not sure why it’s fair for 20-somethings adults to be higher on the list than 40-somethings, but I’m assuming it’s because they tend to engage in superspreading behavior.) When kids can get vaccinated, our school district will immediately demand that all of them return to the classroom full-time. She will then bring the virus home to her dad and me, and as a middle-aged woman I am at highest risk of becoming a long-hauler. To me, it seems that vaccinating one person in a household has very little value. Entire households should be eligible depending on the risk/priority status of individual family members.

        • Cat

          I get what you’re saying but the result of your policy would basically be that parents automatically get the vaccine before others that are the same risk level. Eh.

          • Anonymous

            No, this strategy would define risk at the household level and vaccinate higher-risk households first. Non-parents who work from home are not at the same risk as people who live with a child in school. Front-line workers and their households would get vaccinated before households with school-aged children.

          • Anonymous

            It’s not cutting the line. It’s giving the vaccine to the people most likely to be exposed.

          • Anon

            It is cutting the line. No behavior should change after you are vaccinated. All it means is you are then at lower risk of symptomatic COVID. We still have to mask/social distance/etc until we reach a certain percentage of people being vaccinated. A healthy, work-from-home spouse/child of a frontline worker is not at higher risk after the spouse receives the vaccine than they have been all along. And they are not at higher risk and should not receive higher vaccine priority than the 38-year-old, obese, Kroger’s checker with diabetes and CV disease.

          • Anonymous

            If my child’s school forces her to return in person before I’m vaccinated, then my risk is absolutely increasing.

          • Anon

            And EUA is for people 16 and older. Schools will not e mandating it anytime soon.

        • Anon

          I agree that prioritization should be by household if it’s going to make any sense.

          I know people who would have to take their kids out of school in the situation you’ve outlined (because of very high risk household members).

          • Anonymous

            That seems to be wildly intrusive. I think the first point of vaccination is so that we don’t have undue amounts of health care workers unable to work now that things are surging. That is starting to be a problem. Ditto nursing home residents + workers. After that, probably military / police / first responders / prisons (residents and workers).

            I think that prioritizing by household would be very intrusive from a privacy perspective. Eliminating the grave perils will also give us room to fine tune what is left.

          • Anon

            But those very high risk household members will already be vaccinated, because they fit within an earlier category.

          • Anon

            I wasn’t clear that the high risk household members can’t be protected by being vaccinated themselves (vaccines don’t work on them; they rely on other people’s vaccinations). So it would definitely make a difference to know whether vaccinated people will still be contagious or not.

          • Anon

            @11:15 – eventually, yes but first round is front line health care workers, second line is police/military/fire, then long term care, then high risk medical conditions. Though I think the list has changed over time. Anyone have the current one? Even though the high risk person will be vaccinated before the non-high risk person, that could be 6 months after a household member in a higher priority category.

          • Anon

            At 11:11, how is it wildly intrusive? It could be optional where if you don’t want to disclose a household member then they don’t get the priority but if you do disclose them, they do? I guess I could see if you had a household member that was in the country illegally but other than that, I don’t see how it is wildly intrusive to disclose who lives in your home.

          • Anonymous

            I think among NBA players a bunch of mistresses were discovered re contact tracing. You never know what you might find. The most vanilla example I can think of is my ex-BIL who is in healthcare, his GF (nurse) her 5 kids (and their two dads). Those kids go to 4 different schools. The dads of the GF’s kids have re-partnered. How would you define household? What about a college kid home on break?

          • Anonymous

            I am just popping in to say that while the CDC is issuing a list of priorities for vaccination, each state is going to distribute vaccines based on its own prioritization. The lists do not all match. For example, Georgia’s schedule makes it apparent that the priority is getting people back to work.

          • busybee

            Anon at 1:32, I just read Georgia’s plan. What makes you say it prioritizes getting people back to work? From what I’m reading, the first group will be residents and staff of long term care facilities, followed by essential workers and people at high risk of serious disease, followed by the next highest-risk group. I don’t see anything objectionable in that plan.

          • LaurenB

            It’s not that it’s intrusive, it is that it is easily “cheatable.” Let’s just let it fall as is — healthcare workers, nursing home workers/patients, other essential workers, those with high-risk conditions, and then “everyday” people such as myself or my kids who don’t have any special risk situations.

    • Anonymous

      My understanding is the way the study was designed, it captured people who developed symptoms of COVID and brought them in to be tested. They did not bring ALL 30-40K participants in the study to be swabbed every week or two. So the answer is … we don’t know yet whether the vaccine will keep you from getting the virus or just symptoms (while still having the virus and potentially spreading it to others). Remains to be seen. Shout out to kinggutterbaby on instagram for keeping me informed. Highly recommend following her for all things COVID.

    • Anonymous

      Oh gosh I don’t know if I can handle months of dubious vaccine science on here

      • Anonymous

        Right? This and the rural-community hater have me planning a nice, long break. I hope it lasts forever.

      • Anon

        Seems to me this is a legitimate discussion. What exactly is dubious about the above concerns? PS: you can collapse and scroll by.

        • Anon

          Some of the questions are legitimate, but overall it is a bunch of justification as to why the poster feels like they should be moved up in priority for the vaccine. Based on little to no understanding of the vaccine data or basic scientific concepts.

      • Microbiologist

        This is an area of completely legitimate scientific debate. It’s not antivaxxer nonsense, but actually the reason that it’s important to get everyone vaccinated as soon as supplies allow. It IS actually fairly common for vaccinated people to still be able to transmit a disease they’ve been vaccinated against despite not getting sick. This varies a lot from vaccine to vaccine and we simply don’t know yet what will happen with the covid vaccines. The fact that asymptomatic infections are common seems like it might be a bad sign, though it is highly likely that a vaccine will decrease the amount of time people are transmitting virus. This will bring down the amount of circulating virus over time as more people get vaccinated. In the mean time, even people who have been vaccinated should continue to wear masks and continue to take reasonable precautions around other people.

        • Anon

          Thanks. This is interesting to me, and the way this whole situation has unfolded, individuals have been left to make a lot of decisions about risk and planning to ourselves, so it helps to understand better.

      • Anon

        I did not take the questions from the OP as “being dubious about vaccine science” but thought they were interesting questions that, I, myself, had not contemplated. We have not seen much of my aunt and her partner this year because they work in healthcare and don’t want to risk exposing any of us if they pick up Covid at work, but are asymptomatic themselves. If the vaccine prevents illness but allows spread, I may not be seeing my aunt and her partner very soon after all (they are frontline to get vaccinated and we were already looking forward to seeing them again in a month or two). I appreciate these discussions where people ask questions and bring forth information. I think we’re on dangerous ground if asking any questions about the vaccine, at all, are going to be perceived as anti-vaxx. For the record, I fully vaccinated my son, I get vaccinations, and I am 100%, full-stop, no question getting vaccinated for Covid when it is my turn. But like others here, I have questions about the vaccine and the process of getting everyone vaccinated and I think we should feel like it’s okay to discuss those questions without being shamed about being something we are not. Once again, I think we have people who are working out personal issues wholly unrelated to the discussion by responding rudely and aggressively to people. Which is both sad, and inappropriate.

    • LaurenB

      No vaccine is 100% effective, so of course someone who is vaccinated could still get whatever disease and spread it. With the regular everyday flu, “getting the flu” typically means you have symptoms / feel sick enough that you voluntarily stay home, stay away from people, etc. — with COVID it’s always trickier because the danger of this disease is that one can have it, be asymptomatic and be a carrier, without the symptoms as the “reminder” to stay home, stay distanced, etc.

    • Anonymous

      There is research going on on whether the vaccine induced reaction kills enough of the virus present on an immunized person to prevent spread. We will know the answer to this soon.

    • Nesprin

      So, part of the ethics of a clinical trial is that you have participants, and not-participants, and you can’t do anything with the not-participants. There’s a huge interest in whether participants passed the virus to their family members etc, but given that family members were not involved in the trial, you cannot go track them down and ask, it’d be unethical. Likewise, most big trials had <10 vaccinated participants catch the virus, so the sample size is very very small. Also, persons who participate in clinical trials tend to be on the lower end of the spectrum- they're usually highly informed persons with good access to medical care, higher on the education/income spectrum and more likely to be white, so the number of cases in the trial population was lower than the general populus.
      There's decent evidence that vaccinated persons who got the virus did have lower numbers of virus in their bodies, which is a good sign that they would be less likely to pass it on. That being said, we just don't have data yet.

  9. Anon

    Recommendations for a service that will print and frame a simple 5×7 photo? I don’t want a whole book or flashy canvas print (Shutterfly). Should I just DIY (CVS)?

    • Anon

      Shutterfly just does prints too…I just did an order of prints about 5 minutes ago. You can even order on there and pick up glossy 4×6 at CVS.

      • Anon

        Sorry, missed the frame part of the question. Yes, I would DIY. I love framebridge, but you can’t change the photo.

    • Anon

      I would just DIY, or you can actually order standard-sized prints on Shutterfly for pickup at CVS, Target, or Walgreens.

    • Anonymous

      Adorama? It’s been a while since I have used them but was happy in the past with the quality.

    • Anon

      It’ll be a lot cheaper to buy a frame and get a photo printed separately. Minted does framing though, I believe.

    • Anonymous

      OP – Thanks all! Sounds like DIY is probably the most efficient this time. Will keep in mind the other options for next time

  10. Anon

    Totally stumped on what to cook this week! What are you guys making for dinner this week?

    I’m not too picky – prefer healthy meals that aren’t too complicated. I like to make extras and have it for several nights but beyond that I’m open for anything!

    • Cat

      We made a big batch of beef bourguignon since it is going to be a rainy snowy cold mess this week!

      • Anon

        If I recall correctly, we’re both in Philly. I can’t tell if I’m looking forward to the snow or dreading it! Today is certainly gross though!

    • Ribena

      I’m doing a roast gnocchi with red onion and red pepper, plus mozzarella and pesto, tonight. (From/inspired by Rukmini Iyer’s Roasting Tin book)

    • Vicky Austin

      I’m making a big batch of mujaddara later this week and tomorrow we’re having homemade sesame chicken and fried rice, which I’m super excited for.

    • Cb

      Naan with mushrooms, spinach, and mango chutney, veggie meatballs and spaghetti, and some sort of frittata.

    • Anonymous

      Polenta and shrimp with garlicky cherry tomatoes! Might make a side of steamed broccoli to go with.

    • ArenKay

      Asparagus-goat cheese tart on puff pastry (which fails your healthy test, but is delicious) and a vegetable-couscous spin on tagine. Both from Melissa Clark’s new cookbook, which I like.

    • MagicUnicorn

      Butternut squash, mushroom, and spinach lasagna is on the menu for us tonight. Hoping to get at least two full meals out of it.

    • Anon

      We make a lot of stratas in the winter. Super easy and you can make it as healthy or unhealthy as you’d like. We straddle both with a version that has cheddar, bacon, and spinach so the kids will eat it.

      It’s also the season for stuffed peppers. Again it’s easy to pick your ingredients – we do a rice and chicken sausage stuffing that is delicious but I’m sure there are many variations.

    • Thanks, it has pockets!

      Luckily I have my meal planning board! Let’s see, tonight I’m making meatless “chik’n” nuggets with hot honey dipping sauce, tomorrow I’m making slow cooker chicken tacos, Wednesday it’s sausages, Thursday either pork chops or chicken breasts (or maybe leftover chicken taco filling over rice with beans?), and steak on Friday.

      • Anonymous

        Can I ask what the reasoning for eating the plant based nuggets is if you also eat the dead animal?

        • Thanks, it has pockets!

          I find cutting back on meat and eating the occasional substitute is more feasible than cutting meat out entirely, but I also realize that there’s no honest answer that will appease you here and I’m not interested in engaging in a discussion regarding meat consumption.

    • Curious

      Enchiladas tonight, burgers tomorrow, fend for yourself on Wednesday, borscht on Thursday, takeout on Friday :)

      • Thanks, it has pockets!

        Enchiladas! That’s what I should do with my leftover chicken taco meat! Thank you for the inspiration. Now I just need enchilada stuff . . .

        • Curious

          Btw in case it helps — if you have chili powder, broth, tomato paste, and flour, you can make your own enchilada sauce in about 15 min. This has saved me from a grocery trip several times.

          • Thanks, it has pockets!

            I have all of those things except broth, so unfortunately I would need a trip to the store, but there’s a convenience store just up the road (as in, a quick walk away) that has a a fair amount of Latin American foods. I think just getting the sauce might be easier than making a whole batch of it when we don’t actually need that much.

    • pugsnbourbon

      Wow, you guys are great cooks!
      This week’s menu includes turkey meatballs, roasted salmon, and instant pot tortilla soup.

    • Anonymous

      Tonight we are having corn and potato chowder and homemade bread, tomorrow is enchiladas (a pan of green chile chicken and then I will make a separate red chile cheese stacked one for my son UGH lol), Wednesday is pork chops, rice, and asparagus, Thursday is breakfast for dinner, and Friday is stuffed bell peppers and salad.

  11. Anon

    How did you decide where to live? I’ve lived in my current city for a decade, and I find myself desperately wanting to move elsewhere. I initially moved here for my first professional job and stayed because it was within driving distance of my entire family. Now most of my close family has either moved or passed away, and I don’t want to raise my children here. While DH and I have a few friends here, our jobs are the only things keeping us here. DH could likely keep his job if we moved elsewhere, but I would have to find another job unless we move to a VHCOL city we don’t really like. I love my well-paying job and the people I work with, and I’m trying to weigh the value in that with having to live in a city and state I don’t want to live in.

    • DCR

      What is it that you don’t like about your city? Would moving fix those things?

      I moved to DC for my first professional job, and stayed because I made friends in the area. Despite many of them moving back to their hometowns, a number of them are planning to stay in the area long term and there are no other cities I could move to where I would have a built in group of friends. There are things I like about the city, such as the museums, and things I don’t, all the tourists, the HCOL, the traffic, etc. In my view, all areas have drawbacks and you just have to figure out what things are important to you.

    • anonyK

      I live on the east coast, in same metro area as my family and my husband’s- that’s why we are here basically. If our families weren’t here, we would think very hard about moving, probably to the west coast? Not sure- it’s not a realistic thing for us so I’ve never seriously thought about where except to fantasize about what if we had no family ties holding us here and could go anywhere. So I’m jealous of your freedom! I say go live where you want! For us, with all the grandparents/family in one metro area, it is worth it to stay here. We don’t hate it here by any means, but do envy the freedom. I would probably start with areas where you know people- family or friends. It is hard to establish a feeling of community somewhere starting from scratch.

      • Doodles

        Agree with all this. We live within 15 minutes of almost all family members, and this is important for us with two kids. We grew up here and have many friends/community. Never really explored moving away but sometimes envy those without the same level of ties to an area. We don’t particularly love this area. It’s cold and not exactly a thriving metro. But has some plusses too.

    • Anonymous

      Thinking about this a lot too since the place my husband and I intended to move (a purple city in a red state) is no longer looking so good. I can’t abide the state’s laughable response to the pandemic and therefore its disregard for human life (all while proclaiming the sanctity of the fetus). However, before the pandemic hit, the factors we were considering that led us to that city were decent job scene, cost of living, natural beauty and proximity to the outdoors, access to a decent airport, and proximity to family and friends. We currently live in California (where I am from), but the cost of living is too high for us to build a real future here the way we want. The last wildfire season just about did me in too.

    • Anon

      I don’t have an answer for you, but after having several terrible employers with terrible people- the value of having a job with people I like went WAY up on the list.

      • Anon

        Also- unless your friends and family all moved to the same place then you won’t have friends in the new city either. If you are going to have to work to find friends in new city, then why not work to find new ones in current city?

    • Anon

      I, like everybody and their brother, moved to DC for work right out of college. I was in a field that you pretty much have to be in DC for. I never loved DC – found it very hard to make friends, didn’t like how most people I knew prioritized career above all else, with so many transplants it felt sterile (I’m from a city where we are all obsessed with our city) etc. so I moved back to my home city after a few years. I chose my home city for a few reasons – I always knew I wanted to settle down in this city, so I figured I might as well start building my life here sooner rather than later, I’m close with my family and wanted to be near them, I had a few friends in the area, and I like the vibe of the city (very different than DC). I LOVE it here. Despite my troubles making friends in DC, I very easily made friends here (I’d say over half of my friends here are people I met in my 20s!). I had to rejigger my career, which wasn’t optimal, but it does the job. There’s tons to do in my city and while there are less free things (I miss free museums!) the COL is definitely lower so it balances out. While I’d probably love living out West somewhere, and may give it a shot someday, I do like that I’m only 90 minutes away from beaches, mountains, and lakes for year-round outdoor activities, plus the park system in my city is amazing for when I want to stay closer to home.

      So – what do you dislike about your current city? What do you like about it? I’d come up with a list of things you want out of a city/region, rank them, and then try to find a city that checks as many boxes as possible. It sounds like you don’t have any deep ties to any one area, which is freeing. There’s a lot of areas that I probably wouldn’t have considered, but I’ve had friends move there and love it (like Cleveland or Little Rock). I’d encourage you to look beyond the traditional places recommended (for example, a lot of people want to move to the west coast for the outdoor opportunities, but don’t want the HCOL, so check a city that’s a little less popular but still has access to outdoor recreation).

    • busybee

      I picked my city because I wanted to prosecute in a large city with a high violent crime rate that was within about two hours of home. This city fit the bill. I met my husband here and his ties to this city are very very deep, so we will not be leaving. In an ideal world, I’d be able to move back to my hometown, but it’s far too expensive for us to afford anyway, even if my husband and I were willing to uproot ourselves and find new jobs.

    • Anonymous

      I live near my family, and happen to love the city I grew up in. However, I’m applying to do a multi-year rotation at our firm’s offices in a major European city, so I’m definitely on team do what makes you happy! If I didn’t love the city I grew up in, I would probably move to Charleston, SC. It totally depends on what you want in a city (for me, must haves are history, beautiful architecture, good food) and things you’d like (for me, warm weather and proximity to beaches). My sister would love to move to Portland, ME if given the chance because she loves hiking and skiing. My mom would move to Taos or Albuquerque, New Mexico because of the natural beauty, rich cultural heritage, and dry air which is good for her health.

      • Anonymous

        I would love something where you move every 12-18 months, especially in my 20s and for the first part of retirement. I grew up with frequent moves and loved that.

      • Anon

        I’d love to do something like what you’re doing. I live near my family in the city I grew up in (which is a great city that I LOVE), but I think doing a rotation somewhere totally different (but with a defined end date and option to come back to my current city) would be AWESOME

    • Anonymous

      I decided after college that I wanted to live “anywhere but Boston.” Guess where I landed my first job?

      I came for the first job after undergrad, stayed for my MBA, bought a house here while DH got his MBA here. Our first house was in an area of MA that, while beautiful, never really sat right with me. It was very towny and we were not from town. We moved to another town about an hour away which is a much better fit. There are a lot of “transplants” in our town as well as some born-and-raised-here families. The schools are good, we have made friends here, and my kids are flourishing. My industry has become more remote-friendly and there are a lot of good jobs to be had in both DH and my respective industries around here.

      Over the nearly 15+ years we’ve lived here, I’ve come to love this state. It’s expensive as all get out to live here and I hate the snow and I wish we lived on the water, but there are always tradeoffs. We vacation a lot and drive cars that are good in snow.

    • anon

      I was at my last city for most of my life: middle school, high school, college, job 1, job 2. I stuck around because my parents are there and I was their only family in town. But as their retirement approached I told them I’d like to move elsewhere and asked if they would move with me after they retired. It took a lot of convincing, but they saw that it was important to me to pursue a job and life that would bring me more joy than what I had at old city. I’m now in new city and once the pandemic is over my parents will come along. I decided I want to live in a MCOL blue state (vs MCOL red state) if I can find a less stressful but more interesting job with comparable pay. The job happened so I was able to move. I do miss my friends but we’re also at a stage in life where everyone’s priority is their own family so it wasn’t like we were meeting up every weekend anyway.

    • Saguaro

      Moved from NE to the SW, for the weather, very affordable cost of living, outdoor activity. I prioritized my personal reasons over work, as it is important to me to be happy outside of work.

      • Anon

        +1

        Left a job / industry that I loooved in a city that I hated because there is so much more to life than work

    • Anon

      We have nearly do-anywhere jobs, so we sat down and thought about what we wanted from an area: weekend-accessible to oceans and mountains, on the East Coast for family (DH loves the West Coast, but our family is all here), affordable cost of living, ease of running daily errands (we found running errands in the DC suburbs really trying). We didn’t care about having access to All The Shops and All The Entertainment – that’s just not who we are. We ended up in a small Virginia town with a quaint Main Street that’s 30 minutes from big box stores and an hour from All The Things – our house is shockingly affordable compared to DC prices, we’re surrounded by natural beauty, and we’re relaxed and happy.

      • Anonymous

        Any chance you’d share where you are? Another Va lover here who is just ok with DC but REALLY wants to stay in Va.

      • Better

        This sounds ideal.

        Do you mind sharing the town? If not the town, then the general region?

        Thanks

        • Anonymous

          Not the OP anon, but I’ve thought about moving to Charlottesville VA or the surrounding towns when I retire. Has a lot of cultural stuff and restaurants bc of the university. About 2.5 hrs from DC, just over 1 hr from Richmond. Lots of nature to explore and lovely scenery. Wineries and cideries galore.

      • Anon

        +1 to weekend accessibility to the ocean and mountains. That’s why I love Philly – they might not be the best beaches or the best mountains but they’re both a very easy drive. Give me a city with a reasonable cost of living, fun things to do in the city, and beach/mountain accessibility and I’m a happy camper (no pun intended)

      • Anonymous

        I’m in coastal VA :) The Northern Neck is close to Fredericksburg/DC, the Middle Peninsula is close to Richmond, and the Virginia Peninsula has Norfolk. Every peninsula has darling little towns, and depending where on each peninsula you are, you might be closer to one city or another. And it’s worth pointing out that all of these little communities are water-centric, so you might some see shabby houses near the main roads; the nicer houses are tucked behind trees facing the water, so don’t judge the town and its people by what you see next to the highway. Pick up the local free community guide called The Rivah (available at visitor’s centers and boutiques) for a sense of all the many things that happen in these communities.

    • Anonymous

      I picked my city because I had visited many times in my youth and absolutely loved it, it was beautiful, historic, walkable, reasonable COL, etc. So when it came time for University I had to go to my city’s flagship University, which is recognized globally. It also happens to be the only place I can do my job and the best place for my husband to do his job, so it worked out well for that too.

    • Anonymous

      Grew up outside of Philadelphia and went to UPenn and moved to NYC like every UPenn grad. Stayed there for 10 years. While I love NYC overall I knew I couldn’t make a life forever someplace where it’d be a 1-2 bedroom apartment max (I’m not brownstone rich) and no car (or only driving weekends if you keep a car) for life. After year 6-7 it became stifling. Moved on in year 10 to DC. I ok with DC but actually really like Va — it’s how I grew up but with more things to do, less town-ish, more outsiders, more achievement etc. I hope to be able to stay but as life goes . . . my current job isn’t great and IDK if I’ll land another one in Va. It’s aging parents keeping me tied to the east coast/northeast. I’ve had eyes on Charlotte for a while — though IDK North Carolina’s handling of the pandemic gives me pause. And in true fantasy world — a house w palm trees in Fla is what I really want (yes I know how Fla politics etc are but beaches, palm trees etc).

  12. Hooray!

    My cousin, who is like a sister to me and who has some risk factors for COVID complications, works as a nurse in a hospital taking care of people who include COVID sufferers. She has gotten notified that she is on the list to the the vaccine soon. Hooray!

    • Anonymous

      Yay! (and yay for cousins that are like sisters – I have two and it’s the best). Hope all goes well!

    • Monday

      I was just notified that I will likely get vaccinated next week (health care worker). It feels surreal.

    • LaurenB

      Yay for your cousin! My husband was pleasantly surprised that he received an email on Saturday from his hospital to register; he had to do it in person and sign away a million things to prove he was a doctor, but they gave him a time slot on Tuesday so there you have it! Thanks to all the scientists and workers (including the airplane pilots and truckers) making this happen.

      • Anonymous

        I would love to read a feel-good piece on the transportation people that are making this happen. I cried when I read the headline in the boston globe today that the hospitals are getting the vaccine today. Dammit, I’m crying again now just thinking about it. [my family is super healthy and low risk and WFH and in the very back of the line and I am A-ok with that, we’ll get it when we get it. I’m not worried about us, I’m worried about everyone else!]

        • Anon

          Twitter had videos of the Fed Ex trucks leaving the manufacturer and it was definitely an emotional moment.

        • LaurenB

          I have a friend who works for one of the transportation companies as a pilot and she posted (on a private Facebook group) a very emotional post about the pride she feels working for a company that is an integral part of making this all happen.

          I’ll hold my breath for you-know-who to acknowledge the hard work of the scientists/researchers/doctors as well as all those involved along the way — the dry ice people, the manufacturers, the pilots and truckers, all the way to the injection-in-the-arm piece. This is America at its best; it’s too bad it had to be on top of America at its worst.

      • Anonymous

        I feel the same. There’s a lot left to do, but I’m so grateful to EVERYONE who is playing a part in getting this done.

    • Anon

      ICU-nurse sister treating active COVID patients gets hers tomorrow. Beyond being happy my sister will be protected, it gives me some tangible hope that this will largely come to an end at some point.

    • Mad about it

      Unfortunately, my icu nurse daughter and her icu nurse significant other have not heard anything about getting theirs. We live in a state with almost 300k front line health workers and the state has received 155k vaccines (so, enough for 1/2 that number of people).

      • Anon

        Hi Marylander! You are right, not even close to enough for healthcare workers. Hoping more comes sooner than expected, but not holding my breath.

  13. Cookie delivery

    Any recommendations for a company that ships about half a dozen cookies or other holiday treats? I can found companies that ship single cookies or a dozen or more for $40 or more. I’m looking for a company that will ship like half a dozen cookies for around $20, so I can send them to friends that live alone.

    • Anonymous

      Milk Bar has an “assorted cookie tin” with 6 cookies for $20. Not sure about shipping costs though.

      • Anonymous

        these cookies are really amazing. we got a small cake + cookies for DH’s birthday this summer, tossed the cookies into the freezer, and had been eating them as a treat. the shipping is a lot, i recall it being $15

    • Anon

      you could look for a place that is more local, like Insomnia Cookies, and see if your friends live in the delivery range.

    • anon

      Not exactly what you asked but Colletey’s sends a dozen cookies for under $30 and it’s a charming small business story.

  14. Tiny Kitchen hacks and tips?

    I’ve learned so much both large and small from this board, and wanted to give back two of my favorite “make cooking easier” tips that I learned this year. Both of them still make me gleeful when I use them just because they are so clever and easy.

    Brown sugar that is as hard as rocks? It grates beautifully into a fluffy easy-to-measure pile.

    If you cut the end off garlic gloves and put them in the microwave for 7- 10 seconds, then the skins pop right off. I didn’t realize how much mental resistance I had to recipes with a lot of garlic just because I find peeling many cloves so tedious.

    Anybody have any similar tips that delight you out of all proportion when you use them in the kitchen?

    • Anonymous

      Always up for tips involving garlic. Other tips: a wedge of fresh Parmesan tastes SO much better than pre-grated and it lasts forever (plus my cat loves it, surprisingly – nothing gets her running to the kitchen faster) and you can regrow green onions from the white bulbs if you place them in a jar of water.

      • Anonymous

        I buy the preservative-free pre-peeled garlic in the pouch and keep it in the freezer. You can put the frozen cloves through the garlic press. It tastes just like fresh and is so much less work.

    • cara

      Wait does brown sugar often become hard as rocks? I was mystified that the sugar in my airtight box had, but I don’t buy brown sugar often, so maybe its normal!

      • Anon

        OP: Mine gets soft in the summer (higher humidity) but hard in the winter — I’ve tried various “airtight” containers but nothing seems to break the pattern. There seems to be something about the molasses added to brown sugar that makes it turn into really solid lumps

      • Anonymous

        Yes it’s completely normal and happens due to humidity levels I think. I have a special air tight container that has a little clay disk you soak in water and keep in the container with the brown sugar to keep it soft.

      • Anon

        It does if it’s not sealed – your containers may not be completely air tight. I put mine in a ziploc bag and store it bagged in my container and have never had a problem.

      • Anonymous

        Throw a few marshmallows into your brown sugar container. It will keep it from turning into a rock. It really works!

    • Abby

      The best way to cut a pepper is the chop off both ends, then run the knife around the inside of the flesh to remove the core.

    • Anonymous

      Powdered milk and shelf-stable cream! For those decadent recipes I used to avoid.
      A butter bell for at least a little butter for toast

      • Vicky Austin

        Ooh, my mom gave us a butter bell as an early Christmas gift and it is THE BEST.

      • Anonymous

        Also, freezing shredded cheese and bread, and toasting refrigerated bread to use it. Now I never have issues with moldy cheese or bread going bad (you have to be OK with toast, but I love it).

    • anon

      re garlic: I bite the bullet and peel and mince one or two entire bulbs into a glass jar. When you use a garlic press, it doesn’t matter if the skin is still partially on. Mix with some salt and neutral cooking oil and pop it in the freezer. When a recipe needs garlic, I grab a spoonful from the freezer, much faster than peeling the stuff and cleaning the garlic press each time.

      • Anon

        Add a small piece of paper towel to that jar of peeled garlic and it will stay fresh much longer.

    • Anon

      If you microwave the brown sugar in short intervals, not enough to melt it, that also works to soften it. I also will grate frozen butter if a recipe calls for softened butter and I didn’t plan in advance (who am I kidding, I never plan that far in advance).

    • Aunt Jamesina

      Smash garlic gloves under the flat side of your knife and they come right off (plus then they’re super fast to chop up since they’re already partway there). And get one of those brown sugar terra cotta bears, they’re magic at preventing hard brown sugar.

      Other hacks I use:
      -I almost never use plastic wrap or foil. Use an inverted plate (or get some beeswrap or those silicone suction lids) to cover bowls
      -I dilute a tablespoon or so of dish soap in a glass spray bottle and use that to wash dishes. It lasts much longer and it’s easier to use an appropriate amount when I’m only washing one or two things
      -Buy a pack of wooden clothespins and you’ll have enough clips for your chip bags and cereal to last you until the end of time (plus no plastic and they’re super cheap!)
      -I like to freeze fresh ginger and grate it straight off the root so it doesn’t go bad before I’m able to use it all
      -Lemons and limes actually freeze pretty darn well if you want them for juice or zest and don’t need them to look pretty
      -I keep powdered milk and powdered buttermilk for baking (esp buttermilk since I hate only using a bit of it for a recipe and having to figure out other things to make with it so it doesn’t go bad)
      -I buy yeast in the big bag and freeze it and it keeps for years
      -Tomato paste gets put in a reusable ziploc and then I lay it flat and with my finger divide it in six so I can freeze it and easily break off pieces to use later
      -I use mason jars to freeze most things to avoid using plastic and because they’re so cheap. I hate tying up good storage containers in the freezer for weeks

      • Aunt Jamesina

        … and one more! I save celery ends/leaves , onion skins/ends, carrot peels, and garlic peels in a container in the freezer and use it to make stock with a chicken carcass once it’s full.

      • Anon

        I LOVE those silicone lids — not just more ecologically friendly, but less fiddly to deal with too!

        THANK YOU for the lemon/lime tip, I never need mine to look pretty.

      • Anon

        Mason jars: Wrapping a half of an avocado tightly in plastic wrap and then putting it in a mason jar with the original lids (not the plastic ones) will actually extend its usable life by sometimes up to a week.

      • Senior Attorney

        I use the lids for my pots and pans to cover bowls.
        And I freeze tomato paste a tablespoon at a time in ice cube trays, then pop them out and store in the freezer in a ziplock.

    • No Problem

      I live alone so I can never go through a whole jar of pasta sauce before it goes bad. So I freeze the remainder in ice cube trays and store the cubes in a bag in my freezer. When I want pasta, I just pop a few of the cubes in a bowl and microwave until they melt! Also works for pesto and any other sauces, including homemade.

      • anonshmanon

        My pesto tub from Costco lives in the freezer. It has so much oil that it remains soft enough to spoon out what I need.

    • MagicUnicorn

      I have a gallon-sized ziploc in the freezer that I stuff full of all my garlic peels, onion butts, carrot and celery stubs, wilted herbs, kale stems, etc. Once the bag is full, I dump it in a stock pot, fill it with water and a teaspoon of salt, simmer until the house smells great, then put the veggie broth in jars and freeze them. We use them for soup, making rice/farro/quinoa, and I usually freeze an ice cube tray’s worth so I can toss a cube into sauce for a little extra flavor.

      • MagicUnicorn

        Another garlic tip: roll cloves firmly between silicon oven mits to unstick the peel from the cloves. I don’t mind chopping garlic, but when I need to do a lot at once or have one of those bratty little heads with mini doll-sized cloves, this makes it go much faster.

    • pugsnbourbon

      You can freeze ginger! I break it into thumb-sized pieces, peel, and then I have all the fresh grated ginger I could ask for.

    • Kelly

      I keep a small basket in the cabinet that holds a cup or so each of salt, sugar, flour, plus the baking soda, baking powder, and vanilla. Then when I’m baking I don’t have to go searching for each.

    • Anon

      One more regarding garlic and ginger is that you can get nice big jars of ginger, garlic and ginger-garlic paste at Indian markets, very cheaply. For some reason, this is a thing that, if the western supermarkets in my city carry at all, it costs 2x as much for a tiny jar that might season 2 meals for me. I HATE grating fresh ginger, so this keeps me cooking on days when I’d otherwise just get takeout because I don’t feel like doing the prep work.

    • Anonymous

      Caramelized onions can be frozen and then broken off in pieces to use in recipes. Truly caramelizing onions takes forever, so I do this in large batches on a weekend and then freeze them in thin blocks that can be split. Apparently the cooking can be done in a slow cooker or Instantpot, as well, but I’ve never tried it.

    • anonshmanon

      not so much cooking, but food storage. Now that I stretch out shopping trips to every two-ish weeks, I’ve started to store bananas in the fridge. They need to be wrapped in a plastic bag and the skin will turn brown, but the aging process is slowed quite considerably.

  15. Spanx

    I’m 5’5, 130 lbs and pear-ish. Size 10 in pants. Finally tried the spank faux leather leggings and had to size up to XL to get them on. Do they relax a bit?

    • Anonymous

      I want to love these pants too, but even sized up they are constricting in a way that I do not put up with anymore.

    • anon

      I’m a pear shape (5’8″, size 10/12) and the Spanx brand is awful for me. I have to size up and even then, it’s not comfortable.

    • Anon

      I wear a size 2-4 in pants, and had to go up to a medium in the Spanx faux leather leggings. So I wouldn’t be surprised if the XL is the right size for you. That said, they don’t stretch out at all as the day goes on, and the mediums are much more comfortable than I would have thought — I even wore them on Thanksgiving!

    • anonymous

      I’ve had mine for a couple of years and they don’t relax/stretch out.

  16. A.

    Can we start Monday with a thread for tiny wins?

    Mine is that I squeeze in a 20-minute yoga practice with the Down Dog app. Cleared my head and moved my body before work!

    • Anonymous

      Took my senior dog (my bestest buddy) to the vet for a check up this morning and he is doing really good for his age. I now expect to have a good week!

    • Abby

      I had the best year end review I’ve ever received in my career: my bosses thanked me for my hard work and said they couldn’t have survived without me. I was nervous for this all weekend, but a lot of that has to do with lingering anxiety from my last job, and since I started completely remote in March, I haven’t been able to make connections like I would in normal times. I asked if there was anything they would like me to change or improve, and they said absolutely nothing. I feel like a huge weight is off my shoulders, and much more confident in my work as we start the new year!

      • Anon

        And is there a monetary reward? Or are they expecting you to accept praise only?

        • Abby

          Bonuses come in Jan/Feb, and even though its not formally announced yet, it will be 5 figures. I’ve never had this structure before, but my income will be 2.5x what my last job was. This is a Good Company, and more importantly a great boss and I could not be more thrilled.

          • Anon

            I’m so glad! It seems that we’ve had so many anecdotes of “they gave me a glowing review that they just couldn’t manage to translate to a bonus –but next year if I keep up the [grueling, soul-deadening] work!”

    • Anon

      I did a “new” hike in my city this weekend! I’ve been toying with moving to a different city with better outdoor options, but realized my city is low key great for them. Did a long bike ride along the river on Saturday and then hiked with my mom on Sunday – it was a place we’ve both been several times but did a new to us combo of trails for a really nice 5 mile hike!

    • Anonymous

      Someone here recommended Good Eggs for groceries and it’s worked out great so far. I’m so much happier giving money to a company that pays its workers a living wage (including its drivers, who are full employees and not contractors) than I was shelling out so much cash to Amazon/Whole Foods. Thank you to the person who recommended it!

    • anonyK

      I have done 30 min of yoga every day for past 7 days at lunch/midday nap time. It has helped with my productivity on work days and general patience on parenting days. I’ve not been a huge yoga person in the past because I find it not very efficient in terms of burning calories or building muscle, but my mind/body just really need it right now.

    • Cb

      I had to give a quote to a journalist this am, and I’m normally nervous, but I felt quite confident.

    • Vicky Austin

      I’ve been meditating for 10 minutes in the mornings before I start work the last couple weeks. It’s awesome and I can feel my brain craving it when I get sidetracked.

    • Anon

      I PR’d on my Peloton ride last night! HUGE moral win after falling off the wagon in the height of fertility treatments this summer. I think mixing in bootcamps and strength training is making a difference.

    • Curious

      I was feeling extremely grumpy this morning because I still haven’t ovulated post miscarriage and it’s easy to feel like things will never work. Then when I asked Alexa the weather, she said “have a nice day, Curious!” Somehow just having the robot be nice to me was enough to snap me out of it and realize how lucky I have been this year in so many other ways.

    • Anon

      I went skiing for a couple of hours on Saturday and didn’t know how my knee would feel post injury. It was only a little sore the next day!

      Also, I gambled on this season pass as I’m very COVID cautious and would only go if they followed the restrictions they put in place. It was great. Lodge was closed except for the bathroom. I didn’t even use the bathroom from the time I left my house to the time I got home. I only skied 2 hours. Masks required in lift line and on lift. It was enforced. 6 person lift is limited to only people in your own group or if you are a single or a double, one other person from the singles line with three empty seats between you. They also limited the mountain to season pass holders only while they have only one trail open to keep everything spaced out. I live near the mountain so this doesn’t put me in the region of a different hospital or different gas station or anything.

      I love skiing, haven’t been in a long time and am so excited to do it more this year!

    • Anonymous

      I went for the walk that is my baseline for how fit I am and wasn’t tired at all.

    • Aunt Jamesina

      I thought I’d have to go into the office to take care of a task today, but I found a workaround so I can do it from home!

    • Senior Attorney

      I caught Felix and Oscar (shy new kitties) out in the open yesterday and they didn’t run away! They stayed there and looked at me until I ran away. I’m calling it a win for sure!

  17. Warm legging recommendation

    Have not seen this brand mentioned in round ups of great leggings for cold weather – Dakini. I’m on my second pair and these puppies keep me warm when walking even in the coldest MN weather. I’m not sure they would be good for runners as they aren’t a technical fabric; the website describes them as fleece on inside, knit exterior made from Polartec Powerstretch. They are thick, soft and a keeper. I size up as I don’t like tight things.

  18. Deedee

    I am in the very fortunate position of having two weeks off for the holidays. I live in a cold area, so I will definitely be bundling up to go outside in the warmest part of the day. Other than that, what would you do in this time off to really relax and recharge?

    I’ve been wfh with my spouse, no kids, but my job hasn’t slowed down at all. Finally feeling the pandemic burnout I think…

    • anon

      I hear you on the pandemic burnout. If I didn’t have kids running about, I would be reading all the books.

    • Anonymous

      Try what I think of as “active leisure” – things like playing an instrument, reading a book, crafts, genealogy, long nature walks, whatever floats your boat. The key is to avoid too much vegging in front of Netflix while you scroll through Instagram with the other hand. I always used to think that I needed “couch days” to relax fully, but they always leave me irritable and restless and slug-like. Active leisure is key to feeling like I had an actual break.

      Also, the only thing worse than spending too much time in front of Netflix would be too much time doing chores!! Vacations are not the ideal time to deep-clean your home. That can be something you fit in around your other plans, but don’t make it the main event or you’re not going to feel like you actually enjoyed yourself.

      • Anon

        +1

        This year has taught me that I couch days do not help me relax! Spend time on hobbies (or – this is the perfect time to start a new hobby!), take lots of walks even if its cold, if you like to bake – the holidays are the perfect time for baking, sleep in, etc.

    • Anonymous

      We are going to try snow shoeing on our holiday break to get outside and away from people!

    • AnonATL

      We are doing a few things around the house that have been on the diy fix list for a long time.
      baking some holiday treats and watching some holiday movies.
      Playing with my kid, in a focused manner, not while juggling ten things.
      Hoping to do daily walks/jogs as long as it doesn’t rain.
      I need to feel like my time off is productive in a way, so lounging around all the time only makes me feel worse.

    • A.

      I love the phrase used above — “active leisure.” I would definitely go for a dose of this: baking, cooking, something DIY around the house, walk a new path or hiking trail every few days…I tend to feel more satisfied during time off if I use some of it to be productive/produce a tangible result (and that tangible result can be “feel better/more clearheaded because I moved my body”). For me, cleaning out a closet while listening to a podcast can also scratch this itch — just anything where I can see a result. I also like to have couch potato time, but I tend to save that for the evenings: kids in bed, glass of wine, and 2-3 Netflix episodes or a really good book.

    • Jealous

      I use time like this to tick a few things off my list that otherwise constantly bug me. Not the entire list, but if I’ve been planning to get to a closet or drawer, or straighten a tax file, I love the feeling of accomplishment I get by doing it, and the fact that I won’t pass it in thd future and think “I need to get that done.” Also, if you like to cook, this is the time to try those complicated recipes that require more than 30 minutes. Enjoy! I am really jealous.

    • Anon

      Drink Bellinis in my Jacuzzi tub. Nothing says luxury to me like a long soak with a fancy bubbly drink. Bonus points: my landline handset works as an intercom, and hubby refreshes my drink whenever I call.

  19. anon

    I need some home office inspiration and not the kind you find on Pinterest, where people don’t actually do office work. I am going to be WFH for at least the next 6 months, possibly longer. I’m good with my chair. However, the cute Parsons style desk I bought from Target several years ago lacks surface area now that I have dual monitors sitting on top of it. I have to move my keyboard just to write a notebook, and it’s making me crazier than I’d like to admit. My reference materials are constantly piled on the floor because there’s no place to put them. (I use them several times a day, and in Normal Times, they’d sit at the corner of my desk until I needed them.) The ergonomics also are questionable. Is the answer to get a new desk, assuming that’s even a possibility with everything back ordered? I’ve even considered having DH make a built-in desk, although that would be a very permanent solution.

    First world problems, but I have some time during the holidays to spruce things up a bit.

    • Anon

      Can you use monitor arms to mount them and get them off your desk top? Otherwise I think you shouldn’t have a problem getting a new desk — I recently got a Fully Jarvis desk and it shipped promptly.

    • Cat

      Could you buy an end table/side table or TV tray type table to help with the surface area problem? Then you could reuse it elsewhere in the future.

    • Anon

      Same, girl, same and I am solving the problem by getting a small file cabinet on casters that can roll under my desk at the end of the day, but roll out and provide more surface area for working when I’m at my desk. It will allow me to store files and also give me extra space to plop notebooks, papers etc. during the day and get them off my desk top. Wayfair and Amazon both have several options. I had one of these at my work office (we had small, cramped offices and two of us shared an office – don’t miss that) and it works really well. The only issue is that the file cabinet is significantly shorter than my desk so I can, for example, put my laptop on top and work “on” it, but I think it will work well to offload things onto so I can have more desktop space when needed.

      The other thing I have that is really helpful is an acrylic monitor stand that has a couple of compartments and space under the compartments to slide my keyboard into. I can slide my keyboard into the monitor stand and it’s out of the way entirely. I got it on Amazon.

    • AnonATL

      I have an Ikea desk I love! It is deep enough for two monitors, plus keyboard, plus a notebook in front of it. Also loads of space on the sides. I believe it is the Bekant. I’ve been wfh with it for 4 years now.
      I also bought a 2 drawer filing cabinet from Ikea for all my misc items like old notebooks.

    • Sloan Sabbith

      This isn’t the prettiest solution, but for the first few months at my parents’ house, I had an L with a desk on one side and a folding table on the other. I like having an L-shaped desk at work and it worked OK. Now I have a bigger desk, which is also nice. Folding tables might be easier to buy than a new desk.

      • Ribena

        I sort of have this setup – I have a Kallax bookcase next to my desk, set horizontally so that it forms an L. My desk lamp, stereo, tea mug, the notebook I’m not currently writing in, etc, can all sit on there.

    • Anonymous

      Would your office let you take a desk home? In Before Times I switched from working from the office to working from home for a medical reason and I asked and they were fine with it.

    • anon

      I had this problem and bought a shelf to put behind my desk. My monitors sit on top of the shelf and I can use the lower shelves to store extra supplies and hide cords (this won’t work if your desk has a solid back, though). I also have a short filing cabinet next to my desk for extra workspace.

  20. Vicky Austin

    Help me pick a laptop?

    I need to be able to use it to write papers, stream Netflix and maybe run Quickbooks or something, and that’s pretty much it. Prefer non-Apple. Budget flexible. Kind of eying the Lenovo Flex if anyone has experience with that.

    • Anon

      I always recommend HP Envy because I love mine. It may be more than you need, but it’s fast and light (similar to a Macbook Air, I guess). I use Lenovo Yogabooks at work and still prefer my laptop; I haven’t used Lenovo Flex.

      • Anonymous

        + 1 for HP. I use HP and Dell for work and the Dells are heavy and have more service issues than the HPs.

    • Anonymous

      Whatever you do, don’t get a Surface. My work laptop is a Surface that has repeatedly failed at the worst moments.

      • anon

        100% agree. I was so happy to get rid of my Surface. Seriously the worst electronic device I’ve ever used for work.

        I really like my HP 13″ laptop.

      • Anon

        My work has started switching to Surfaces and there have been lots of complaints. I still have my old Thinkpad and will cling to it until they force me to come in and give it up. I am not happy about this change.

    • anonyK

      I have a surface laptop and I love it. I previously had a surfacebook (the one with detachable tablet screen) but I never used it in tablet mode so when it was time for new one, I got the surface laptop.

      • Anon

        I’ve also found that I never use tablet mode and seldom even use touchscreen when it’s available. I have an iPad though, so I guess if I want a tablet, I use a tablet.

    • Anon

      Are you a Costco member? If so, get whatever they have on sale. For me, my only dealbreakers are that it must have a 10-key and an SSD, which does narrow the field a bit. Figure out what, if any dealbreakers you have, and just buy the one they’re currently running a promo on.

        • Green tea

          +1

          The warranty is better.

          I bought my Lenovo Flex from Costco last year and am quite happy.
          I have the IdeaPad flex CORE i5 10th generation. I would get at least those specs or higher. You don’t really need more fancy graphics unless you are a gamer.

  21. Diana Barry

    Possibly TMI question so I apologize in advance!

    Has anyone had yeast infections with discharge but no other symptoms? Did you always treat them? The treatment always makes me feel blechhhhhh so I am reluctant to start it unless I know it will progress to itchy etc.

      • Diana Barry

        I could but not immediately, it would arrive at the same time as the monistat.

    • Anon

      Sooo, a TMI response to a TMI question…for some women, certain points in their natural cycle can bring lots of discharge that can look like a yeast infection. If there’s no itch, I wouldn’t rush to assume yeast, especially if this happens somewhat regularly for you.

    • Anonymous

      I would not treat unless you have other symptoms. My level of discharge varies throughout the month and also month to month.

    • Elegant Giraffe

      I’ve done boric acid treatments instead of diflucan – you’ll need a compounding pharmacy, but something to look into.

  22. rant

    I hate my extended family. They seem to believe that you can’t catch COVID from someone to whom you are related. They are constantly pressuring us to go out to restaurants, have dinner at their houses, visit them in COVID hot spots, host them for overnight visits, babysit their kids, etc. The pressure is beginning to wear my husband down and he is starting to give in. He is just as worried about the long-term consequences of COVID as I am, but he seems to think that preserving our relatives’ feelings is more important than keeping his own nuclear family safe. First he had lunch, unmasked, with his dad when he had previously told me he wouldn’t. Then he went and told our niece, who teaches in a school with a raging outbreak, that we would babysit her kids. I thought we were in this together, but apparently not.

    • Anonymous

      What happened when you talked to him about that breach of trust? That’s so frustrating.

      • Anonymous

        “But it’s our FAMILY!” Ugh. What is the point of keeping our entire family locked up in the house together 24/7 for the past 9 months if he’s going to go and get us all infected because “FAMILY”?

    • Anon

      I gave my sister the pep talk before Thanksgiving, when her stepdaughter was putting all the pressure on her father about family gatherings. She talked to her husband and they resisted and did not attend. Literally every person who did enjoy the Thanksgiving dinner has now been diagnosed with Covid, and several (young & healthy!) are very, very sick, 2 hospitalized. Please convince your husband that he needs to be strong and smart, and resist the pressure.

      • Anonymous

        Oh god that’s so scary and sad. This is one of those times when being able to say I told you so isn’t much of a win!

    • LaurenB

      I’m so sorry. I wish I had advice. My husband’s extended family is kind of like this (we are not physically exposed to them as they are in another state) and he has to repeatedly tell his father, a freakin’ retired physician, that no, other family members aren’t necessarily safe and yes, wear the darn mask. It’s very frustrating. I feel like we are doing all the right things, and for Christmas, we are not combining households. But everyone else just carries on …

    • anon

      DH’s family is like. Not surprisingly, four or five of them have had COVID. One just gave birth while being covid-positive. No thank you.

  23. Another outdoorsy question -- feel free to scroll past

    I am usually of the “use what you have” school of thought. If one has abundant polyester leggings, can they be used as a base layer? Classic long-johns are mainly cotton. Everything else seems to be either a trip to a crowded shopping area (no thanks this time of year, especially in a pandemic) or ordering something and further burdening people trying to get xmas packages to their destination on time (this is just for me). My only thought is that polyester leggings may have too much friction when worn under anything. Nylon leggings seem a bit slicker, but also are really not warm at all — basically good for indoor workouts and lounging.

    • Cat

      I’ve used my regular Zella leggings under ski pants for mild days just fine.

      Why not try it on and walk around the house to see if you have any bunching up?

      • LaurenB

        As someone in a cold climate, I just … bundle up in multiple layers, top and bottom, if I anticipate being outside for long periods of time. There’s nothing that needs a big long explanation or big long trial. Does it matter if you throw the short-sleeved top over the long-sleeved one or vice versa? Of course not. Does it matter if you wear yoga leggings with fleece over it? Of course not. I have those CuddleDuds and I wear them sometimes as an outer layer over something else and sometimes as an inner layer under something else. IT DOES NOT MATTER. Maybe I’d get this questioning if you grew up in Hawaii and just moved to Maine, but otherwise … just put clothes on and go.

        • Anon

          +1 Life long Bostonian. All cold days are not created equal, especially if you’re skiing. Sometimes it’s leggings (lulu, athelta, zella variety) + ski pants. sometimes it’s leggings + long johns + ski pants. I’ve even worn legit thick tights as an extra layer on a particularly cold ski day. Just do it. When it’s truly cold, fashion is OUT the door. Bundle up and GO.

    • Anonymous

      Dear god woman just put clothes on and go for your walk outside. Try your leggings and see if they work for you!!!

      • Anonymous

        We are definitely in another fleece tights situation and before the usual commenter comes back with “everyone is trying new things outside because of the pandemic,” it’s clearly past that point. Every single one of these questions can be answered with “try it!” or “wear shoes!”

      • anon

        If, against all odds, it is the exact same person asking every single question about the outdoors, your reaction is exactly what is egging them on.

        • Anonymous

          Every single time this person posts this, someone else (or the same person) comes in with two points: 1: we’re all trying new things outdoors this year and 2: this is a fashion blog. At least the fleece tights troll was funny.

    • Anonymous

      I often wear leggings as a base layer. I also got tights to use as a base layer from my local drugstore.

    • Anon

      I used to wear leggings as a base layer all the time. Tights work well too. Give it a shot. If it doesn’t work, try something else

    • LaurenB

      This is overthinking things. Of course you can. There is no rule that you can’t. Extra layers always add warmth.

  24. anon

    I have the pandemic blues and am dealing with some grief on top of it, and my work has really struggled in the past couple of weeks. I have zero motivation to do much of anything. I thankfully have some time off coming at Christmas, but I need to power through the next week. What sorts of end-of-the-year things do you like to do to set yourself up for success when you return? Honestly, I may not have the brainpower for that right now. I just need some sense of optimism/forward movement/not thinking about the holidays.

    • Anon

      Sending you virtual hugs. The pomodoro method (set a timer for 20 min to work on a task) is a good option for me when I’m struggling to get a task accomplished due to lack of motivation. I am feeling very blah about the holidays, but I put up a few cheap decorations that bring me joy. Not sure how I’ll set myself up for success because my focus now is just surviving.

  25. anonyK

    Anyone have a face serum they like? I’m looking for something moisturizing that will generally improve tone/skin appearance. I am 36, crappy OSNW skin. Not interest in retinol at the moment because I’m trying to conceive again. I’ve upped my overnight moisturizer and it has helped, but looking for a little something extra. Maybe a vitamin C serum? any recs?

    • Anon

      I like the Sephora brand vitamin C serum and the Hyaluronic Acid from the Ordinary for extra hydration

        • Anon

          With the caveat that I’m not a skincare guru – I do the HA every day and the vitamin c a few times a week. I do the vitamin c first on days I do both

          • Anon

            I also do the HA and vitamin C but in reverse order. I apply the HA after drying my skin but when it’s still dewy, then the Vitamin C. My understanding is that HA is best applied to somewhat damp skin, and then it helps draw in other ingredients applied on top of it.

            I am also not a skincare guru but I follow all of them on tik tok.

    • skincare

      I’ve been using the Klair’s 5% Vitamin C serum and I like it. I tried The Ordinary based on recs here, but it made my skin burn, so I went back to Klair’s. I think the Vitamin C helps with the lines on my forehead and my 11s. I actually think that Stridex in the red box with salicylic acid does more to improve the overall tone of my skin.

      For hydration, I use a variety of products once per day. I went down the K-beauty rabbit hole a few years ago and I really like the philosophy and products. If you’re looking to improve moisture/hydration, I like the Neutrogena Hydroboost gel, Mizon all-in-one snail repair creme, Mizon Snail Repair Intensive Ampoule, and Cerave Daily Moisturizer (this one goes on in the evening as well, after using 1 of the actives mentioned above).

    • Flats Only

      I got a 10% Niacinamide serum from Am*zon (Baja Mar, maybe?), and by the end of the bottle several persistent red acne scars had disappeared. It was $10, so if it doesn’t do anything for you you’re not out a lot of money. Vitamin C serums do nothing for me.

    • Anon

      I like the Olay B3+ Vitamin C serum. The vitamin C is a stabilized formula so it doesn’t oxidize like Skinceuticals, Drunk Elephant, Mad Hippie, Timeless etc, and I have found it as effective as those (all of which I have bought and had to throw away before they were used up because of oxidization.)

      I also agree with others about the effectiveness of niacinimide – which is what the B3 is in my serum.

    • Anon

      Vitamin c is not moisturizing so you will need to layer something on top. I like the tatcha or Lancôme as someone else mentioned.

    • Anonymous

      It’s not a serum, but the Dr Gross Alpha Beta peels improved my skin’s appearance like nothing else. They have a 5 pack at Sephora to try out — I use the 2-4 times a week.

    • In House Lobbyist

      I went down the K beauty rabbit hole a few years ago and I have never looked back. Look at the sokoglam site. I love about anything from Neogen or Etude House.

  26. Anon

    I know everyone loves Yoga by Adrienne, but I was wondering if anyone has a link to a good 10ish minute flow? A friend recently mentioned doing yoga everyday at noon while wfh, and I love that idea and would like to start incorporating it.

    I used to do yoga weekly for years, until I realized that I wasn’t enjoying it. So, I have a pretty good background in it even if its been a while since I’ve taken a class. I’m both moving less (wfh) but also working out more/harder than I was before and I know that I could benefit from more yoga.

    • anonyK

      I’ve been doing 30 min yoga at lunchtime daily using videos from amazon prime. They have a decent selection and I know they have some 20 min ones, but I’m not sure about 10 min. I’ve been liking the Venice Beach yoga 30 min videos.

    • Anonymous

      I love Down Dog app for short practices — they give you a lot of variety if that’s something you like. It’s a paid subscription but I literally use it every day so I find it to be worth it.

    • joan wilder

      I am a longtime subscriber to Glo (used to be called Yoga Glo) and I am a fan of their extensive, sortable library–everything from 5 minutes to an hour and the way they film things is pretty easy for me to follow, even on my 13″ laptop. It is around $18-$20 per month.

  27. Anon

    I’m going to be 41 in a few months, and I have gained about 12 lbs since last Christmas and at that time, I had 8 or so pounds to lose. At this point, I am worried about getting sagging skin, esp on my face, if I try to lose all of that. I am only 5’1″ tall and this is a significant proportion of my body weight to lose. I have very deep, embarrassing eleven lines on my face right now (think lumps) and no funds for Botox at the moment. What steps can I take (if any) to help me not look significantly older as I lose weight?

    I think I I’ve already had to accept that I may only be able to lose 10 lbs of this in order to help accomplish that goal.

    • Anon

      I don’t know the answer in your specific case, but I recall a French saying that a woman of a certain age has to choose between her face and her fanny. I don’t think that age is 41 though, unless you are considering getting down to a very low weight.

      • Ribena

        In British English, fanny means something entirely different – so you should know that I snorted out some very inelegant laughter when I read that comment, haha!
        (The only person seeing my fanny is my gyno or the person I’m sleeping with……)

        • Aunt Jamesina

          Hah, I remember learning this when I lived in France and was giggling with an English friend over the large number of women our age named Fanny. Fanny packs will never stop being hilarious.

    • Flats Only

      I am your height and a little older than you, and lost 15 lbs this year. I had the same concern re sagging, but I noticed that as I lost weight my face looked sleeker and less puffy, and did not sag. The skin just tightened up. So hopefully the same will happen for you.

      • Anonymous

        Counterpoint–I am 43 and have lost 8 pounds since the pandemic began. My face and chin are definitely sagging in a way they didn’t before, but perhaps it’s from the stress and not the weight loss.

        • Anon

          43 is a turning point age w/hormones. That’s when our chance of getting pregnant is about nil and fertility docs don’t like to treat.

    • Anonymous

      Honestly, lotions and so on will only help so much. I’d start using a retinol and save my money for Botox.

    • Anonymous

      I lost 25 pounds in my 40s and had no face sagging. My face actually got tighter and more defined.

    • Anonymous

      47 and lost 35 lbs over the last 18 months. My face is not sagging at all — it looks much better — and my deep 11s are no different than they were before. That said, I have more weight to lose, so I am hardly in danger of looking gaunt in the face. YMMV.

    • Anon

      I am also quite short. I lost 30 pounds in four months at age 44 and my face looked so much better and had no sagging. It may be worth noting that I got genetically blessed as to skin and muscle tone so that may have something to do with it.

  28. Sloan Sabbith

    Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers for my dad last week. We had almost no luck getting info from the hospital yesterday but last we heard, he was doing OK. No more strokes, thank God. The doctor FaceTimed us early yesterday to say hi to him. He’s having an easier time talking, although it’s still pretty difficult to understand him. He asked about his favorite sports team who played yesterday, so that’s a good sign.

    I’m a mess- it’s absolutely horrible not being able to see him, or hold his hand, or hug him, and we likely won’t be able to see him until he comes home from inpatient rehab.

    Not looking forward to dealing with work this week.

    • Anon

      I’m so sorry Sloan. It’s so tough right now. One of my friends has not been able to see her 90-something dad in months due to lockdown at his skilled nursing facility. It sounds like your dad will come home on a much shorter timeframe.

      • Sloan Sabbith

        Hopefully. They haven’t been able to give us any timeframe for how long he’ll be in rehab. It’s so hard to get info from the hospital and they just don’t know yet, anyway. <3

    • Anonymous

      So glad he is doing ok. Hang in there! We will all keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers!

    • Elegant Giraffe

      I thought about you over the weekend – thank you for the update. I hope work can be a welcome distraction?

  29. Anon

    Small victory this morning (and I will take basically anything.) I had my annual skin cancer check with my derm and I’m all clear. I’m a very pale person who probably belongs in Northern Ireland, not Northern California, and I had lots of sun exposure in my SPF-free childhood, including an annual skin-blistering sunburn, so I’m just waiting for something to develop. I’m 55.

    Minor news, she also blessed my love affair with Aquaphor. I’m with Aquaphor as the dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding was with Windex – I use it on everything. Lips, elbows, face, owies, cuts, burns, itchies… everything. And she said it was the best thing I could use.

    • Sunflower

      “ I had lots of sun exposure in my SPF-free childhood, including an annual skin-blistering sunburn, so I’m just waiting for something to develop” is me. I get annual checks from the dermatologist and am SO RELIEVED each year when nothing turns up. I feel like I’m waiting for the inevitable.

  30. Anonymous

    Wise Hive, I have come to the conclusion that I need to start jogging if I’m going to lose weight. The only exercises that I enjoy are spinning (can’t do because of Covid and can’t cycle because of winter), yoga and occasional HIIT, but I’m not seeing any progress and think I need to do something different to get my metabolism burning again. It has been a very long and lazy (and pizza-filled) pandemic. Is there a running watch that you can listen to Sp*tify on? I was considering an Apple Watch but I never wear a watch and don’t care to start, so I don’t want to spend Apple Watch money on a watch that is just for wearing on runs. I have a bulky iPhone and want to be able to leave it at home but still be able to track the time and listen to my music, so the watch must be blue-tooth capable as well.

    • Anonymous

      There are FitBit and Garmin models that allow you to stream music or at least download your own music catalog. That said, running to lose weight is not necessarily going to work. I’m not saying don’t run, but I’ve never lost any weight running. You need to find some strength building activities. And clean up your diet.

    • Anonymous

      Hmm have you tried one of those running belts, like flipbelt? I love mine for my iphone 8 plus when running, and it’s a lot cheaper than the kind of watch you are talking about would be.

    • Anonymous

      Kindly, if you are going to run in the earshot of others, please consider running with headphones/ear buds. Not everyone will enjoy your Spotify playlist as much as you.

      • Anon

        I think that’s how smart watches work though. This is also why blue tooth compatibility matters (for ear buds).

      • Anonymous

        Headphones are a MUST, not something to consider. Not wearing headphones is incredibly rude.

      • waffles

        I don’t think the OP was ever suggesting listening to music on speaker…

        • Anon

          +1

          She mentions Bluetooth compatibility, which I assumed was for earbuds. I have a Garmin that I can play Spotify off of but there’s no speaker so the only option is headphones…

        • Anonymous

          OP here….obviously was never considering not using headphones, hence the mention of bluetooth and also just common sense. Not sure why people look for things to attack in questions rather than considering how they might provide a helpful answer.

      • Jeffiner

        OP here….obviously was never considering not using headphones, hence the mention of bluetooth and also just common sense. Not sure why people look for things to attack in questions rather than considering how they might provide a helpful answer.

        • Anonymous

          There are wireless headphones that allow you to still hear traffic. They are made by AfterShokz.

    • Ribena

      Do you have space and budget for a stationary bike? I bought a £300 one and moved my bedroom furniture around to fit it in and I am loving doing Peloton workouts from my tablet.

      • Anon

        My spin bike was approximately as much as my Garmin watch! If I was the OP, I’d choose the bike over the Garmin!

    • waffles

      I have a garmin watch which does what you are asking for… it’s a Fenix model. But it was pretty expensive.
      Alternatively, if your SIM card is removable in your phone, maybe get a running phone? I have one called an Atom, made by a company called UniHertz and it’s tiny. I swap my SIM card into it for running, both for music and for emergencies.
      Another thought is to get leggings with a big pocket? I just got a pair by Sweaty Betty and the rear zippered pocket is really big. Or a flip belt, as another poster suggested.
      Happy running!

      • Anon

        My Garmin vivoactive 4 is compatible with Spotify through the watch. I’d recommend bringing a phone on your runs for safety reasons though.

        I run a little (I wish I liked it more!!) but I both bike and spin a lot. I got a $300 spin bike for my apartment- I’d recommend looking into one! Likewise, if there isn’t snow on the ground I’ll bike outside all year long. I just bundle up and I’m good to go!

        If you don’t like running, you won’t do it as much. I’d look for ways to incorporate spinning / biking into your routine year round

        • Anonymous

          I’m OP – thanks for the helpful suggestions. I’ve looked into a peloton/getting a stand to hook my bike up to so that I can bike indoors, but part of the issue is that I’m SO OVER indoor workouts looking at a screen. It’s the reason I’ve stopped my other workouts. So looking to get outside – your suggestions about biking year round are great, I’ll look into that!

          • Anon

            This is maybe a super odd suggestion, but have you considered taking your bike outside and putting it on a trainer (or whatever you call the tool to make an outside bike a stationary bike)? My neighbor does stationary biking on his porch and it seems genius to me – still have to bundle up but you’re not staring at a screen and don’t need to deal with the cold and yuck of biking through slush or on ice. If you don’t have a porch, you could do something similar at a park.

    • Anon

      My husband has a little device called “Mighty” that is the size of an old ipod nano. It plays his spotify while he runs.

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