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Coffee Break – Ivee Pump

Ivanka Trump - Ivee (Camel/Fuschia) - FootwearS'alright: we had the classic black pump yesterday. If, however, you're in a bit more of a playful mood, I like this colorful shoe from Ivanka Trump's new shoe line. Fuchsia pink, orange, and beige details — I love it. I think it would look great with neutrals like navy and white. (The shoe also comes in black on black and beige on white.) It's $135 at Zappos. Ivanka Trump – Ivee (Camel/Fuschia) – Footwear (L-2)

Sales of note for 12.10

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

226 Comments

  2. Threadjack!

    Hi everyone–longtime reader, first-time commenter here. I always enjoy absorbing the hive wisdom, and I’m hoping it could work some magic for me today.

    I work in the consulting field, and have recently been offered a significant job opportunity. I’m feeling conflicted about whether to take it, and if so, what to ask for from my company.

    My company has several offices in the US, and we recently opened an office in DC last year. So far, the DC office has one senior executive, and the company is looking for another person to move down, help run the office, and work full time on projects there. The role has been offered to me, and I have about a week to decide whether to take it. It would offer significantly more responsibility than I have in my current role, and could be a good professional opportunity.

    One of my main hesitations in taking the position is surrounding D.C. itself. I’ve lived in New York since college, I don’t drive, and I don’t know anyone who lives in D.C. I have an image in my mind of D.C. as a city that doesn’t have a lot of organic urban culture and where most people who work in the city commute in from the suburbs. Is this hopelessly wrong, D.C. Corporettes? If I moved down to D.C., could I live in the city itself? I could afford to pay about $1100/month max, so I assume I’d have to live in a share, which would be OK. I’m in my late 20s, and would prefer to live in a place where I could walk or bike most places I need to go. I’ve also got a boyfriend, but it’s not clear whether we would stay together or break up if I moved, so I might be facing the transition as a newly-single lady. I guess most of my angst about this stems from going from a place I’m very safe and secure to a place I don’t have a network or safety net.

    My second question has to do with negotiation. I’ve done a very limited amount of negotiating in my professional life. My immediate boss, who I respect a lot, advised me that if I were to accept the position, I should have a list of ‘demands’ (he didn’t use that terminology but that’s what it essentially would be) about my new position.

    The things I think of immediately are a) asking the company to pay for the move and b) negotiating for a raise. Are there any other requests I should be making regarding roles and responsibilities or logistics of the move? I’m also thinking of asking the company to make my role down there a one-year trial, at which point I could have the option to come back to New York or stay down in D.C. Does this sound realistic? Do y’all have any other thoughts about things I should ask for or terms I should try and set?

    I realize this might be a bit overly-general, but I feel as if this post is veering towards novel territory. Again, I would really appreciate any advice/life experience you guys have to offer.

    1. This is so weird. Your post has a 4:18pm timestamp, but it didn’t show any of the (um, several) times I checked the comments until just now. Maybe try posting again tomorrow to get more responses?

    2. I made the move other way – from DC to NYC a few years ago. I love NYC but I think that DC has just as much of a strong urban culture. It is smaller so actually more manageable than NYC. There are a lot of young twenty somethings working on the Hill, in the nonprofit sector and other industries who culturally diverse and well-traveled. I didn’t grow up in DC but I quickly made a lot of friends. DC also has all the fun stuff you’d expect in an urban area – farmers markets, good nightlife, art & culture. As for driving around, having a car would be good but I never had one and got around just fine. You might not be able to get your own place in downtown DC for 1100/month but you could easily get a studio that’s a bit far away from downtown but still close to the subway etc.

    3. This wasn’t here for a long time! I wouldve answered earlier. DC isn’t New York, but I love DC. Its a young proffesional city. The image you have of commuting is more for parents or people who want a quieter lifestyle. I’ve been here for 6 years and don’t have a car. Areas I think you’d like: U street, columbia heights, eastern market, off adams morgan, dupont. All pretty centrally located.

    4. I live in DC, and I love it. It’s obviously very different from NYC, though, so I’m not guaranteeing you’ll love it, too. It’s much smaller and quieter. But I also don’t think it’s anything like you think it is. Lots of people live in the city and don’t have cars – it’s very walkable, and we’ve got a good public transportation network, and bikeshare. There’s a large population of single folks your age living in the city who came from all over the country, so it should be an easy place for you to transition and meet people. We have all the usual cultural offerings – great museums, excellent theater scene, lots of music clubs and activities. $1100/month is a little tight for living by yourself, but it’s possible – at that budget I’d check out the edges of Columbia Heights, Mount Pleasant, Capitol Hill towards the E and NE sides and Brookland. Maybe even SW. You’ll find better rents in English basements and small buildings than in new apartments. With roommates you could live anywhere. Do you have time to come down to wander around the city and check it out before you make your decision? The DC2NY bus is really cheap and easy – it’ll handily drop you off at Union Station, from whence you could rent a bike and check out Capitol Hill and NoMa, and then hop on the metro to investigate other neighborhoods.

    5. you’ll be more than fine. I’ve lived in both. They are very different. DC is better in some ways, worse in others. Try Dupont or another lively area to make the transition easier. The suburbs/traffic are a part of life there for many, and may impact some things you do with those people, but you can live an urban existence. There’s way more energy of certain sorts in DC, tons of free international stuff and free arts, etc. The people are easier and more interesting in some ways (it’s not all about drinking and money and who is the most special.. though it is about power and politics:). It would be a good varied perspective for you and stellar career opportunity. Keep an open and and go for it.

      Also, it’s really close to NYC. I’ve known people who go back to NY every weekend (kind of lame) but point is if you miss your safety net you are a day trip away.

      I don’t like the idea about asking for it to be temporary. Deal with that later if the situation arises- sounds like you aren’t committed. You might want certain training or something for the new role, support staff/resources, certain reporting relationships, etc. outside of salary/moving costs.

      1. Do ppl actually say that in real life? Stupid Q, but I’ve never heard this contraction uttered.

        1. …is that not a thing people say everywhere? Lord Almighty, my heritage is showing again.

    2. I interpreted it as a contraction of “it’s” and “alright”, as in “We did plain boring black shoes yesterday, so it’s alright that we are doing wild and crazy colors today”

      And I could totally hear it being uttered – especially among the high school population.

      1. In careful usage, “alright” is not a word. Surprising that this follows on the writing post . . . or was it intentional?

  5. Not to beat a dead horse with the whole pregnancy/TTC thing, but I had a question for the hive — at what point do you start telling your friends (and I mean really close friends only) that you are “trying” and not succeeding and need a little support? I’ve always been very close the chest with all this kind of personal stuff, but after nearly a year of long months it’s starting to wear on me. And with each new announcement from friends, it’s getting harder to be cheerful and say that I am still “waiting for the right time.” While I’m not keen on sharing my personal business, it’s getting harder to go it alone. Thoughts?

    1. I told my friends that we were having trouble by asking them if they had had any trouble, then commiserating that way. (A couple of friends also had to use an RE, some had IUI, etc.) We did all get pregnant with help within 6 months of starting treatment!

    2. I wish my friend had told me before I made a stupid off-the-cuff remark about how glad I was not to be pregnant, after having 2 children. It was only then that she mentioned they had been struggling with infertility. Her husband was significantly older, and I had made an incorrect assumption they didn’t want kids. Once she told me, it was such a relief for us to be able to talk about it.

    3. First of all, big hugs to you. Trying to conceive is such an emotional time, particularly when things aren’t happening quickly. :(

      This is a really personal decision and there’s no right or wrong answer. If you need support (and it sounds like you do), by all means, confide in a trusted friend. I realize this is easier said than done, especially with such a sensitive topic. But, in my experience, keeping silent when I’m really hurting has made things worse instead of better.

      Hoping things get better for you soon!

    4. From the perspective of a friend who has been told: if you’re not keen on sharing personal information, I might suggest testing the waters with just one friend at first. It might be quite difficult to find your fertility and your health suddenly open for discussion—which, even when extremely well-meant, and from the best of friends, can be very hard.

    5. A few of my closest friends knew that things were not going well, especially those who had problems as well. A week into abdomen shots, I’ve only told 2 friends that we’ve moved into IVF. It may help to take yourself out of some of these difficult situations. I stopped going to baby showers forever ago and just send a gift.

      1. I just had to wish you peace and good luck. I’ve been there, and my “results” will be 4 soon.

    6. First, I am sorry you are going through this. TTC can be incredibly stressful. For me, I chose carefully who I told about my issues in this department. I based the decision on how often I saw the friend (my good at work friend, for example, was hard to keep in the dark) and whether I thought they would understand.

      Ultimately, because none of my friends were in the same boat, they were not that supportive. They tried but it’s hard to understand what to say if you haven’t been there yourself. They also made really stupid comments thinking they were supportive.

      If you are feeling alone, I would recommend seeking support outside your IRL friends. Have you looked at the community board on “the bump” or other similar websites?

      More recently, I have had two friends who were having trouble TTC but did not say a word. I knew exactly what was going on though because I had been there myself and could read the signs. If you have any friends that might have been there – talk to them. It gets awkward when people are trying to pretend they have no idea what you are going through when they really do (if that makes any sense).

      1. I’m often an open mouth insert foot kind of friend. I’m also brutally honest and that can go wrong sometimes when people need sensitivity. Would you mind sharing some “what not to says?” As someone who really isn’t sure if she will ever want kids, I’m sure I’d be prone to saying the wrong thing.

        To the OP, if any of your close friends are currently pregnant, I’d suggest telling them so that they will be more sensitive to your needs and understand why you aren’t thrilled to see yet another cute pair of shoes or bib, etc.

        1. Don’t ever say “oh it was SO easy to get pregnant! We did it on our first try!”

        2. There are so many. I had a miscarriage, which brings a whole new level of stuff not to say. There are really obvious things not to say, so I won’t get into that (although people still say them). But here are a few non-obvious doosies:

          * It will happen in time (or any version of this)
          * If you focus on something else/relax/etc. it will happen
          * [insert horrible story about a friend who knows someone who finally had a baby after 10 years, 2 failed IVFs, 4 miscarriages, etc.]
          * ANYTHING that mentions God’s plan (this one really bothered me!)
          * Any flippant comments about “when” you will have kids or any complaints about a current pregnancy or your existing children. This one seems sort of harsh but for someone really raw from pain, these kinds of comments just remind you of how different you are from what seems like everyone else.

          What you should say:

          * I am so sorry you are going through this. It must be really stressful.
          * I am so sorry for your loss (if miscarriage, obviously).
          * How are you feeling?
          * Depending on your relationship, show interest in hearing about test results, doctor’s visits and (if you are really close) charting/waiting to pee on a stick, etc.
          * Do you want to grab a drink (this was my favorite).

          2. Don’t ask when are you going to have kids or you’ve been married for a while isn’t it time for you two to settle down?

    7. I would second telling one good friend at first and seeing how it goes from there. For me, I told my girl friends that I was trying, so the fact that I’m still not pg should be fairly obvious to them.

      I have a related question on the topic for all those that responded. How long were you TTC before you sought assistance? We have almost hit the six month mark and I was okay with that until another one of my friends asked me if I was going to see a doctor soon. I was a bit taken aback as I was going off the 1 year mark, but she seemed to think differently and even brought up a friend of hers who started trying when she did and was getting treatments at the 8 month mark. So now I’m not so sure how long to wait!

      1. I think the rule of thumb is one year if you’re under 35, and 6 months if you are 35+. However, my sister had trouble conceiving for several years and her advice is to go to the doctor at six months regardless of your age and tell them you’ve been trying for a year so that they’ll see you and start investigating any potential sources of infertility right away. She is not a doctor though, just someone with personal experience.

      2. It took me 7 months with my first and I was worried each month and, like you, thinking ahead about fertility consultations. My doctor said later that it probably took that long for the effects of the BC I had been on for 5 years to be completely nil. Now I have 4 (last one arrived last week!!!) and each of my subsequent kiddos was conceived the first month of trying. So don’t get down. 6 months isn’t really long. Best of luck to you!

      3. It depends on your age. Over 35 and doctors will see you after 6 months. Under 35 and they like to wait a year. If you aren’t charting, start doing so immediately so if you do end up going to a doctor at some point, you aren’t starting from the beginning. Often, charting will answer many questions about what may be going wrong (or at least eliminate some potential problems). If you have no idea what I am talking about, please buy “Taking Charge of Your Fertility”.

        1. As a follow up, if your cycles are abnormal or irregular, you might be able to get seen by a doctor sooner regardless of age.

        2. Agree. Taking Charge of Your Fertility illuminated my reproductive system to me (I thought I knew, but I really didn’t!) and helped me conceive my son within three months. Because of my charting, I was even able to predict his due date more accurately than my doctors or ultrasounds. I also did other things to promote fertility, but TCOYF was foundational. As Porter notes, it will at least help you identify/eliminate common problems. Good luck!

      4. Of course you can/should tell whenever you want. One caution- I have a friend who regrets having done so, because it’s 3 yrs later and no luck. Now everyone walks on eggshells around her and feels sorry for her, and she hates it. I just had to tell her I was pregnant, and it was a difficult conversation- just didn’t know what to say. Brought up being sorry she was going through this stress but she changed the subject immediately. I would be happy to hear about the details of her process etc. but she has become more closed about it.
        Personally, I didn’t tell my parents we were trying, because that would be too much pressure/intrusiveness. ALso I kept it vague with most people- ‘taking vitamins just in case’ or things like that. With a very few, told them the details.

  6. Hi Corporettes!
    Thanks for the feedback on the Talbots velvet blazer last week – chose not to buy it in the end as I did not want to spend on a potential lint trap :(
    Really love this top though – again on final sale so I am cautious – anyone seen it in the flesh?

    http://www.talbots.com/online/browse/product_details.jsp?id=prdi27863&rootCategory=cat90030&catId=cat80006&sortKey=Default&section=Sale&conceptIdUnderSale=cat90030

    Really appreciate any feedback :)

  7. Today is cut-out day!

    (I totally love these. I can’t get enough orange lately for some reason.)

  8. I don’t like the cutout on the side of this shoe. I feel like my toe would just bulge through that hole and framed by hot pink.

    2. My baby toes would bulge out, too, but my toes are stubborn like that. I like these shoes, tho. I wish the orange outlines were more prominent.

    4. Yup, same concern. I think it would look very weird on a foot, though it does look pretty in the store.

  9. I was just offered an entry-level staff attorney position at a public interest organization. While I’m excited and grateful about gainful employment in this economy, this job isn’t my first choice for a variety of reasons. I ultimately want to end up doing government work, and had an interview at a state government agency, but their hiring process takes a LONG time. Should I contact the state agency to let them know that I got an offer elsewhere, in hopes of nudging them along and making myself appear more like a “hot commodity,” or would this just be obnoxious and pushy?

    1. Contact the state agency, kindly let them know of your other offer, reiterate your interest in their position and ask if there’s anything you can do / any insight into their decision.

      They may not budge, in which case you have to make a call. But yes, this is a common occurrence and you shouldn’t think twice about it.

    2. I like to think in these situations about “what’s the worst that can happen if I take either course of action”. The worst that can happen if you make the call is that they tell you “oh well, congratulations, but we’re still not ready to hire”. The worst that can happen if you don’t make the call is that you’ll always wonder.

      The best that can happen, of course, is that you’ll get the gov. job.

      1. yes contact them as recommended above, but obviously take the bird in the hand in the meantime. not everyone gets to do just what they want right out of the gate. my first 5 jobs were far from things I wanted.

    3. Thanks ladies! I really appreciate the feedback. I’ll get to drafting the email tonight. Going to take a deep breath and hope everything works out.

  10. I just ordered my first pair of Ivanka Trump shoes from Piperlime. They’re orange suede and hopefully awesome.

    1. Please report back and let us know how Ivanka shoes are…I still struggle with purchasing her label, for no real valid reason – sort of like Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Lopez brands, too! I think we talked about that once here.

      On a completely unrelated note, I did find it irritating that both Ivanka Trump and Chelsea Clinton were elected to public company boards – REALLY?!?! Maybe that is just my hang up, too…

      1. I generally feel the same way, BUT

        Let me just out myself as a fan of The Apprentice here – yes, I love it. That said, everything I’ve seen on or heard from Ivanka Trump is actually fairly impressive – she’s extremely well-spoken and clever, and comes across as very intelligent (may be careful editing, I know). Plus, she’s beautiful in what seems to me like a striking and unconventional way (I can’t put my finger on exactly what’s unconventional about a slim blond woman, but she strikes me nonetheless). So, I feel OK with anything Ivanka Trump has to offer. (I have no problem with Chelsea Clinton, either, and, actually, Jessica Simpson seems to run her “brand” pretty well, too, so, well, there you go.)

        1. Thanks – good to know! I truly don’t know much about Ivanka, but I work for a public company with the Board and cannot imagine any 20-somethings (or early 30s?) on our Board. It just doesn’t seem like there would be enough true business experience there to warrant the position and provide the leadership necessary. But, that said, it does not take away from either one of them being smart, confident, accomplished women – just not “public company-board ready” for another 15 years!

      2. I hear what you’re saying, Selia. Although, after some thinking on this matter, I am now mostly neutral with celebrity brands.

        I think this is how it works out in my head:
        It’s annoying to see these celebrities take credit for something they don’t actually design, while some talented no-name designer busts his or her chops for much less pay. So, minus 50 points.

        However, it’s a relief that they don’t actually design this stuff, because both J.Simp and J.Lo are dreadfully tacky! Plus 50 points.

        Net result — it’s not so bad, and I wouldn’t rule out a “Jessica Simpson” or “Jennifer Lopez” branded item off the bat, nor would I go out of my way to see such stuff out either.

      3. i have a pair of her shoes, and they are very comfortable and well-made, but do run about .5 size small.

      4. I ordered a pair of Ivanka shoes from Piperlime about a year ago. They were gorgeous – really well made, beautiful leather. But really narrow. I couldn’t wear them. I was really sorry about it and sorry that I know I can’t wear any of her shoes because of the narrow-ness. Blah!

      5. I have a pair of her 2.5-3″ basic pumps. I think they run a little narrow (good for me) but the same size as I generally wear in Stuart Weitzman or the equivalent. They aren’t quite as comfortable as my Stuart Weitman “Court” pumps, but still plenty comfortable for wearing regularly. I was pleasantly surprised.

    2. I love my black Ivanka pumps, which reminds me I must get the heels redone!

    3. I have a pair of Ivanka Trump glittery evening shoes. They’re gorgeous and very comfortable, though the heel isn’t terribly high so I can’t speak to the taller shoes.

  11. I sometimes think I’m the only person in the whole world who doesn’t like pointy-toe shoes. It’s a lonely shoe wasteland out there for me.

    1. I love how they look, but I have yet to find a pair that doesn’t kill my feet (high arches, wide toe box, narrow heels … yay!) Sucks to be stuck in the land of comfort footwear!

      1. Midwest, I think we have the same feet. I know better than to even *look* at pointy-toed shoes at this point.

      2. two words: manolo. blahnik.

        see link below. way comfortable and well worth the money. mine are still holding strong, almost 4 years later. i wear them at least 2x a week.

    2. Ah…but may I introduce you to emi further up the thread. At least there are two… :-)

    3. You’re not alone. I much, much prefer almond toe shoes, and I have never owned a pointy toe shoe, probably never will. I think at least part (if not all) of it is that the point is a very dating feature of a shoe, and my style tends to be more classic.

    4. I don’t either. All my shoes are almond or round. My feet are big enough already, I don’t need to add artificial length with a weird fake extended toe.

    5. I never get them, either. Everytime I’ve tried them on, I feel like the Wicked Witch for some reason, and, therefore, ridiculous. On the other hand, I feel like a five year old in round-toed shoes, so it’s almond or nothing for me.

    7. Both Prada and YSL have some seriously square-toed numbers out right now. Maybe we’ll see some nice roomy toe-boxes coming round the bend in the next year or two.

    8. Ya’ll, and emi, are my new BFFs forever. Except for Nonny and Midwest, who are dead to me (even though we have matching feet).

  12. Question for the hive on men’s suits — my DH has been a loyal Brooks Brothers suit-wearer for most of his life, but lately is seeking something that is a bit younger/hipper. It seems that most of the BB offerings are quite boxy and not quite the “sleek” look he’s now seeking (their appeal to timelessness/tradition is by design, of course).

    Any brand names that you can recommend would be appreciated. A few people have recommended Paul Smith. They seem to be along the lines of what we’re seeking.

    Thanks ladies (and men?)!

    1. My husband, also a previously Brooks Bros. wearer, recently bought the J.Crew Ludlow suit and loves it. It’s cut a little narrower through the chest and the pants are significantly narrower than BB.

      2. I was going to suggest J. Crew as well. My husband loves their suits. Theory also makes younger/hipper suits, but they run very narrow.

    2. Of course it all depends on his body type, but I love a Hugo Boss suit on my SO. My SO has broad shoulders, a barrel chest, 6’4, narrow hips and the Hugo Boss fits him perfectly.

      My take on a Hugo Boss suit is: modern and sleek in fit, but very classic in style.

      1. Aha! This may be something for my SO to try. He is not that tall, but sounds like he has a similar build and all his suits at present kind of hang from the shoulders. He has a terrible time finding suits. I am on a mission to find him a jacket that fits properly.

      2. My husband loves his Hugo Boss wool pants for work. He’s almost 6 feet, thin with a narrow chest but relatively broad shoulders (does that make sense?)

    3. My husband wears Billy Reid, which I love. They only have stores in relatively large cities and cities in the south, but his stuff is really awesome.

      Plus, it’s all made in the United States. I just can’t help myself.

    4. He might check out Charles Thyrwhytt (not sure about the spelling there) — they have beautiful stuff in a variety of cuts.

    5. My boyfriend is an avid Brooks Brothers fan, and we just stopped in at the end of December for his semi-annual suit stock-up shopping trip.

      They have a new slimmer, more modern suit cut available, which your husband might want to look into. It didn’t work for my BF because he has ridiculously broad shoulders, but I saw another man getting his tailored and it looked great. I can’t remember the exact name of the cut but I’m sure a sales associate would know what I’m referring to.

      1. Thanks so much, everyone! Three cheers for the hive.

        I appreciate all the suggestions!

  13. These remind me of something the girl from Legally Blonde would wear. I do enjoy the movie on an otherwise rainy day, but if I actually wore these, I’d walk around hearing “I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life” in my head all … day… long.

  14. A newspaper I read had an article yesterday on french manicures being passe. Thoughts? Comments?

    I love colourful nails, but honestly, I still love the look of a french manicure on natural nails (i.e. not falsies), though I pretty much never do them or have them done, because I always cave to my butter London/deborah lippman obsessions. If I had a shellac manicure, I’d probably pick a french, because I usually get bored with a colour after a few days, but never a french.

    1. I’ve heard the same thing. I’ve always been a fan of the “natural” french manicure and I think if you are craving the french manicure but are afraid of looking outdated, try that. The base is a shade or two more colorful than your natural base (for me, it’s a shell pink) and the white is sort of an off-white rather than white-out white.

      1. I’ve heard these called “American manicures”. I like them, very natural yet french-y.

    2. French manicures pretty much always look trashy to me. There’s something very unsophisticated about it. And French pedis are the absolute worst.

      Just my opinion, of course.

      1. French pedicures always make me shudder. Like, your toenails look like talons.

      2. I don’t like French manis/pedis either. Somehow they look kinda slutty to me (so sorry, girls , but I have bad examples) . However, I think they are OK iif nail are short…. Like ou can only see a thin rim of white… May be 2mm. Long nails is a huge no-no, that be slut-central

    3. Honestly, I agree that they’re passe. I feel like they’re pretty dated at this point. I go for a neutral solid flat (no glitter) color as my alternative to the French Mani

      1. Agreed. It’s like the nail polish equivalent of wearing opaque nude ’80s hose. Not inherently “tacky,” but it seems like you’re out of step with the times.

    4. I think this is a live debate and you’re likely to find strong opinions on both sides – except in circles of New York fashionistas, where French manicures are definitely a “don’t.”

    5. I like them (though I probably get the “natural” version described in another comment). I’ve also read that they’re out of fashion. It may depend on where you are. I see them pretty regularly in my suburban area, but we’re generally not too trendy here.

    6. Personally, I agree that French manicures look dated. And the truth is, some people will judge you if you wear a French manicure.

      But if you “love the look,” wear it. You can’t make all of the people happy all of the time. And life is short – why not wear manicures that make you happy?

    7. I get a lot of French manicures because I can’t seem to find a color that fits on my skin tone (medium brown with yellow undertones) for both work and play. The “professional” pale pinks and greys that work for paler skin look weird on my hands. At least French manicures just look clean no matter what.

      So not to threadjack the threadjack, but if any of you lovely ladies have non-French neutral color recommendations for medium-brown skin, I’d love to hear about them!

      1. Try an all-over champagne color or camel. I have a similar skin tone and these colors work as a good neutral. I can’t do the griege that is so trendy right now, but navy and cobalt look great, if you want something more fun and edgy.

    8. Funny, I was just thinking about this. I had a french manicure for my wedding…almost 10 years ago and I was thinking that if I were to get married today, I certainly wouldn’t get a french manicure. These days, I tend to like vampy shades and purples in the fall and brighter colors in spring and summer. I really don’t like the nude/light nail looks anymore. I have seen people with unusual french inspired manicures that I don’t mind (e.g. one color, like a matte dark purple for the base and shiny on the tips, using a matte topcoat) but in general the classic french manicure seems passe.

  15. Does anyone have any advice on how to stay motivated during long term projects? I’m just a law student, but I know life after graduation won’t be much fun if I don’t get this down, and this particular weakness makes me periodically miserable whenever something big comes up. I’m great at short term assignments (preparing for class, law review edits, 3 hour essay exams), but when I have a big project that I can (and should) spend a lot of time on over a long period of time, I am the worst. I end up procrastinating or not doing efficient work until I am right next to a non-negotiable deadline. At that point, it gets done, but not as well as it could be.

    I’ve tried things like making a list of smaller tasks to do, but I think they may be too large of tasks (e.g. – find every case on X topic in the next 3 hours), and once I don’t get one done on time my motivation is just gone to keep going down the list. I think it may be one of those things that I just have to buck up and make myself do, but any tips would be appreciated.

    1. Sorry to have bad news, I’ve never met a lawyer who is good at staying motivated. But hey, you’ll fit right in.

    2. I once read that every single project can be broken down into 15-minute tasks/increments. So, rather than “find every case on X topic in the next 3 hours” maybe “formulate good search terms” “review results list” “read opinion from first case” etc.

      Option 2: Try breaking your tasks down *not* into results, but into *time spent*. Spend 15 minutes on Big Task. [Break for drink of water.] Another 15 minutes on task. [Spend the penny.] Etc.

      1. Love this. Trying your 15 minute trick now. Which reminds me, I like the Pomodoro method though I haven’t tried it in quite some time. Might be worth trying again.

      2. Also, I’ve just started practicing, and I’m only now realizing the importance of formulating good search terms before you get started, instead of randomly typing anything that sounds good into the search engine. I wish I’d figured it out earlier.

        If you haven’t already, I highly suggest spending one of those 15 minute increments learning the Boolean connectors for your preferred search engine and getting used to using them.

      3. You need to choose your job carefully. I bore easily. I worked on several class actions and did document review, spreadsheet and data management, etc. for cases that last on average 7-11 years. a MOTION could take 4 years to be decided. It was living hell for me. I do other stuff now (policy/strategy at a company) where everything is varied and the long term projects don’t involve rote work. Many law jobs are like that and if you already know you don’t like it- choose with caution. Contracts I found slightly better, in that most were shorter of a few years and you could take satisfaction in wrapping them up- but still way long term compared to what you are talking about. QUick paced law where you have simple, high volume cases might not be your thing either- while you keep having new motions, they are similar and seem the same. Talk to people about this and figure out which areas might be a good fit for you, and pursue them for free on the side if you have to.

  16. Can I just say, I finally procured a tube of YSL’s Touche Eclat over the weekend, and I now understand the hype. It seems a bit…shallow…to say that makeup can change your life, but my undereye area hasn’t looked this decent since I was about 16. Thumbs up.

  17. So, I’ve been on a self-imposed shopping ban for about 2 years now… well, not a complete ban but I’ve only allowed myself to purchase items that I absolutely needed AND that was replacing something already worn out. The result equals a closet of basics that are well-worn. My uniform is pants, one of the three pairs of shoes that have lasted through the ban, cardigan or blazer. B O R I N G.

    I’ve lifted the ban and I have a large clothes allowance burning a hole in my pocket but am so very overwhelmed that I haven’t even bought anything since lifting the ban. I need to add some style back into my life but don’t even know where to begin.

    I’m mid-30’s and a senior in-house attorney. Our company dress code is business casual but I prefer to walk on the dressier side of that.

    Where do I go from here?

    1. I’d go to Nordstrom and make a (free) appointment with one of their personal shoppers. They might offer you a $50 discount for using the shopper too. I have been trying to be good and not do this because I am on a shopping ban myself, but I keep getting emails with the $50 enticement…

      Have fun!

    2. Blouses are a good way to spice up an otherwise boring wardrobe. Buy one of each of a variety of styles, and see what you keep reaching for. Then buy more like that.

      Another good way to get out of the boring is with shoes. Get a few shoes in a non-black or brown one step above neutral color (I’m thinking a burgundy, deep purple, dark teal) and see how you like those.

    3. I say start with accessories- scarves, fun necklaces, belts, and shoes. You might find that a few additions bring enough spice to old clothes. Since you haven’t bought anything in awhile, I think you should find out what style you like and what fits you- look through magazines or pineterest and see what catches your eye, then try to determine if you like it for the color, cut, or style. Voila-easier shopping!

      Oh, and have fun!

    4. Take a few minutes and think about what your ideal style would be. I once read an article on this site a few years ago about developing a wardrobe business plan. I thought about it, and decided my “plan” was dresses, interesting blazers, and cool blouses. Now when I go online I focus my search on these items. It’s easier to look at just blouses, or just blazers, than to shop an entire store site. If you already have the basics — sheath dresses, black / navy / grey pants, basic sweaters — then go out of the box.

      And personal shopper is also a great idea. A woman in my office goes to Saks. You would think they would only be super expensive clothes, but she looks at the more moderately priced items. She says her shopper brings her things she would NEVER try usually but then ends up loving. I love the stuff she’s gotten there — very work appropriate but interesting.

    5. Thanks, everyone! All great ideas. I will book a PS at Nordies stat. I think that will help me figure out which direction I want to head.

  18. Does anyone have experience with anything Mary-Kay related? I got a call from them about a gift card and a free make-up consultation. Not sure if I should go through with it or not. I tend to be a low maintenance, drug store make-up girl, and don’t really want to shell out any money to upgrade. Then again, the teenage girl inside of me is having trouble resisting the idea of free pampering.

    1. I used to use both the skin care line and the cosmetics. I was happy with the quality, but hated having to get in touch with a rep to buy. I’d rather just decide I need more cleanser and put it on the ‘errands’ list.

    2. Once they have your contact info, you will be hounded forever. and ever. and ever.

      Stay out while you still can!

    3. I love Mary Kay foundation for my dry, pale skin. I use their “medium” coverage but I think it is actually pretty light coverage (or maybe I just don’t use a lot of it). I’ve tried others but always gi back. I wear makeup 2-3 days per week and usually just foundation, blush and mascara. So I order very very infrequently. Like, once per year or 2. I’ve never been “hounded.” It must depend on your rep. And I don’t sign up for email lists. And you can skip most rep interaction and order online these days (once you know what you like).

      1. Same here. I’ve been wearing MK foundation for most of the last decade. I’ve periodically tried something new but I always go back to MK because it works best with my skin type and is the most perfect color match I’ve found. I agree with meme’s approach of stocking up so you don’t have to worry about tracking down a rep.

    4. I enjoy the consultations, but I have a rep I really respect. I bounced around in high school a couple times before I found someone who I liked.

      Then, for about eight years, I would do a consultation every year, have the rep teach me to do it myself, buy all the product, and not think about makeup again for an entire year. Super low-maintenance. (I’ve branched out a little more now.)

    5. they’ll like a pyramid scheme company or something, however, some of their products are amazing for the price. Their skin care stuff is really good (but if you had good skin using drugstore stuff you dont’ need it.) They’re foundation is also really good, long lasting, covers well and is natural. I used their skin care and foundation when I was younger and had bad acne and it helped a lot. Their oil mattifier was also good (again dont’ know if that’s a concern for you.) Their color cosmetics were ehh. I haven’t used their stuff in years but if their consultants weren’t so effing annoying i’d still use their skincare and foundation. Now I use clinique skin care and mac foundation, both of which are more expensive than mary kay.

    6. I really like their foundation, and I have some lip gloss for them that I love, but would never have paid full price ($15!!) for. I think the key is to a. set a price limit going in, and b. be very, very firm.* If you’re the kind of person that has trouble saying no, then Mary Kay probably isn’t for you.

      *I learned this from my law school hairdresser, who was amazing, but who would try to sell me fifteen different products every time I went. I never bought anything and became very good at saying “I’m sorry, but I don’t think so.”

    7. maybe there’s a corporette mary kay rep who’d like to post her website anonymously so we could have someone normal to order from! I have bought stuff from ebay/reps going out of business to avoid the normal reps.

  19. I know we have talked about maternity clothes on here before and when/how to disclose at work. I am 12 weeks and I’m not telling for a while yet. I’m going to hide it as long as I can. (I hid it until almost 17 weeks with the last one.) I’m still wearing most of my regular clothes, but tend to frequently recycle the pants I previously reserved for bloated days.

    I am interested in specific pieces you wore to conceal or minimize the bump (both before and after baby.) I realize I have the advantage this time around of bulky sweater/distracting scarf/concealing blazer season, but I’m still needing a few more pieces to make it a full wardrobe. Even after I announce my pregnancy at work, I still prefer to avoid the typical “HEY, LOOK AT MY BELLY” empire waist maternity tops, so I’m looking for suggestions on specific forgiving dresses, skirts and tops. Links or actual brand and style names would be most helpful, as there isn’t a “non-maternity but maternity-ish” categories on most shopping websites.

    Oh, and I’m in a non-attorney management role in a business-casual medium-sized law firm in the Midwest, if that helps.
    TIA!

    1. Layers help because they break the continuous line from neck to belly bulge. So cardigans, blazers etc. (even if they dont button) are good.
      Drawing the eye upwards helps – a new scarf or necklace can work wonders. AND bonus, also fit you later (so you’re not buying onetime wear items).
      Sweater dresses also are good, because they cling to you in the non-bump areas and stretch to fit the bump, as opposed to something that’s loose all over, or sized up to the bump like some maternity clothes are. I found myself using a couple of sweater dresses that stretched, and then still shrank to fit me post partum by fitting my new belly – the dress itself didnt become flabby.
      Black of course is great! I found myself wearing a lot of black tops.
      I really like the maternity pants with an elastic belly band, very comfy and snug. And on top you can wear a tee and a cardigan and the layers do help to disguise – until you stand sideways! ;)
      Good luck!

      1. On a related note to the OP’s post, when is a good time to announce your pregnancy at work (or rather, how long should I wait before making an announcement) ? I’m just at 12 weeks, probably going to start telling friends and family in the next couple of days. I don’t think I’m noticably showing yet, so not sure that anyone at work is suspicious, although I think my bosses (both men) are starting to get a clue due to my frequent doctors appointments.

    2. I was able to squeeze into regular pants until I told work at 17 weeks (w/my 2nd), and tucking in something blousy and wearing an open cardigan were my main tactics, along with pairing a cardigan and a roomy shell or something with a large or bright scarf or statement necklace. Congrats btw!

    3. Agree with Samantha on layers and scarfs. Although, FYI, I did lose some clothes that didn’t bounce back, so I would avoid favorite items.

      Wrap dresses work really well, as do blouses that provide intentional pouch space, such as those that hang from the chest with a band or smocking around the waist.

      For pants, the rubber band trick and belly bands work. My personal favorite is a wide belt of cloth with a D-ring closure. I could leave the top of my pants unbuttoned and easily cover with the belt.

      A note: I have successfully hid that I was pregnant for a fair amount of time – but after a while, the hiding does just make me look fat.

      1. ha, nothing fit me in october end of 2nd month, so don’t know! had a few sheath/looser dresses that fit for a bit and one blazer that would button.. those days are long over:)

    4. I found that wearing maternity pants actually helps hide it because they fit better than your regular pants at this point, but no one can tell they’re maternity. Long, flowy cardigan also helped. And shirts that were a size bigger (which I had from my breastfeeding days) looked a lot less obvious than maternity shirts until I couldn’t fit into them anymore. Also, tops (maternity or not) with the elastic around the waist (and no gathering under the boobs) are awesome for hiding the bump and they’re also in style now.

    5. I wore these things a lot during my “concealment” period:

      -a long black side-ruched top from Ann Taylor
      -Skinny pants with a long solid tunics
      -a looser red banana republic blouse that was not meant to be tucked in
      -wrap dresses from banana republic–they made me look “normal” until i was well into it

      in general, i find dresses to be the most forgiving.

  20. Teleflora: terrible customer service. Just an FYI for anyone who uses flower delivery service and finds it increasingly hard to find a local florist. This is not the answer!

    1. i’ve had good luck with proflowers. Arrivals always on time and recipients say the arrangements are beautiful.

    2. Recently I sent my mom a Edible Arrangement and I’m never going back to flowers. It was fabulous.

  21. This is a question about being managed. I’m an analyst at a trading firm. I have a direct manager and another director who is 1 step above that manager who is responsible for my team + several others. I am managed very well by my direct manager and am very happy with our work relationship. In a recent review of the director above the manager, one of my fellow analysts (who is not managed by my manager) said very strongly that he wants more personal attention from the director. I think the director has decided that I was the one who submitted this input and has been calling me in for one-on-one chat sessions (I’m the only one he does this to!)

    Should I make clear to my director that it was not me who submitted this feedback? I feel singled out, and not in a good way, but in an ‘oh she needs more attention from the boss’ way. I am productive and work very well with my actual manager, and I guess this is a good opportunity to get to know my director, but I’m afraid he thinks less of me because he thinks I’m being needy when I’m really not requesting this time of his. Frankly, the one-on-ones are a little awkward and strange because I’m not sure what to talk about (my projects) and he is not always clued into each project I’m on since he’s way more of a big picture person for our teams.

    1. I’d bring it up. Thank him for his time, and that you appreciate getting the opportunity to have these chat sessions, but you wanted to make sure he knew that there was someone else who requested them.

      If you can, try to learn about his projects and goals in your one-on-ones instead of just focusing what you’re working on now. This is really hard, at least for me, but so valuable if you can pull it off. Especially if you can pull it off as a “how can I help you meet your goals.”

  22. Is it acceptable to skip the big wedding, get married with just my fiancé at a court house or something and then go on a fancy honeymoon? I don’t have the time or the desire to plan a wedding- and I hate everyone assuming I do or I want to. Parents are willing to pay for a wedding, fiancé is willing to show up. Thoughts?

    1. To be honest, that sounds like my dream wedding. Do what makes you and fiance happy.

    2. Totally acceptable. It’s *your* wedding. You don’t owe anyone (other than your fiancé ) anything. But if he really wants a wedding, he can plan it!

    3. Do what makes you happy. If you don’t want the big wedding, why spend the time and energy to plan one.

      FWIW, we had a “party” wedding, invited a lot of friends and danced until 2. But it took me a long time to plan it, and it was quite a bit of time and effort.

    4. Some people will be peeved. If it were me, figure out who would be most dissapointed with not seeing you get married. Maybe you could invite your parents to the courthouse? Don’t get bullied into a wedding you don’t want, but also think about people who care about you who would like to participate in seeing you get married. (Doesn’t mean they get to of course, just think about it)

    5. Sounds like a great idea to me as long as you don’t expect to have (not saying that you would) all of the pre-wedding hullabaloo and the gifts that are associated with a traditional wedding. (I enjoyed none of that. Not even the wedding gifts, really, tbh.)

    6. Having never been married, but having attended so many weddings–including weddings of people I really like–I think your plan sounds absolutely fabulous. I also lack the desire to plan a wedding (big or small) and also lack the time to do so. I plan something similar to what you’re thinking about when my time arrives.

      Expect some people to be hurt/disappointed that they didn’t get invited to your wedding.

    7. I think that is called “eloping.” And yes, its fine. You’re the one getting married, do what you want.

    8. That is exactly my plan for next year. Parents/siblings/grandmas in a garden, then dinner at an awesome restaurant with the same people, and then off to some fabulous island. I’ve started telling my friends about this plan so 1) they don’t feel like they specifically are not invited, because no one is, and 2) to help me stand firm in my resolve to not have a big wedding.

      I’m not saying that big weddings are ridiculous or anything–I just know that I am going to resent the whole expense and stress of planning a wedding, and I would rather not be pissy about having to figure out napkins and wine choices.

    9. Agree with everyone else, that it’s your wedding/marriage and you need to do what makes you happy. Have you checked out A Practical Wedding (it’s a blog and recently released book) yet? That community is very supportive of the idea that you don’t need to have a big wedding if it won’t make you happy. The site had tons of reader stories about planning a wedding and dealing with the associated drama, so you may find some helpful conversation points for discussing your desire for a court house wedding with family members who want something else.

      1. Hubby and I eloped…we didn’t have the money at the time for a honeymoon so we didn’t go. My family was ok w/ the idea (very small family who hates to travel, and I was living in another part of the country closer to hubby’s large family.) Hubby’s family was not so happy (although my in-laws, bless them, pretended to be excited about it.) We didn’t really get any gifts, but that was ok with us, since we didn’t throw everyone a big expensive party. If you aren’t expecting gifts, or cash to help you with the honeymoon, I think your plan sounds great! Eight years later and we have no regrets (and we did get to take a “honeymoon” in Europe last spring.)

    10. It’s absolutely acceptable. It’s YOUR WEDDING so do what YOU (and fiance) want. +1 on KMS’s rec for APW as well.

    11. It is totally “acceptable” if that’s what you want because the only people who have to accept it are you and your fiance. But I’m gonna put in a vote for having a small wedding/celebration- even if it’s just a courthouse ceremony w/ close fam followed by a big dinner at a restaurant or a backyard barbeque or something for add’l fam and friends. I did not want a big wedding and was forced into one, more or less, by my in-laws. I wanted to elope and came thisclose. But I’m glad I held on and had the big wedding and party, because it was really lovely to start our married life off by seeing our diverse families (who have nothing in common) and friends come together to wish us well. I don’t think you need a big wedding to have that. But I do sincerely think you will not regret having some sort of party or celebration to commemorate the occasion.

    12. While I absolutely think its “acceptable” — I think you need to assess if its going to do any lasting damage to your relationships with family or friends I guess. Because honestly, yes your wedding is “your wedding” — but its a little bit your parents wedding too. If its going to absolutely going to break your or his parent’s hearts not to have a wedding, and they are willing to pay, maybe consider having some sort of party (maybe give up all planning and just let the parents plan it…that’s what my friend is doing.) I mean — if you don’t have to do the planning, it might be kind of fun to have someone throw you a party. :-)

      1. i can’t stand this sentiment – “it’s a little bit your parents’ wedding, too.” i’m not denying that there are many situations where that’s the family dynamic, and that the fact that it was not my family dynamic probably puts me in the minority, but i find it disturbing. we had a fairly large wedding, and while our parents each contributed we paid the majority ourselves. husband and i have talked about how if we had it to do over, we’d either have handed the entire thing over to a wedding planner so all we had to do was show up (because really, it was a fun party), OR we’d have done what the OP is contemplating and put the vast majority of cash towards a house (because parties are fun, but when it’s all over, it’s all over).

        1. How is it disturbing? Its something many parents look foward to. It is not “theirs” but you just need to know that is something many parents want to see and participate in.

        2. I should say, my husband and I paid for the ENTIRE thing, and I still considered it to be a little bit our parents wedding. It was an important day to them, so we tried to make sure that the traditions that they cherished that didn’t make us sick were fulfilled (if you know what I mean). I’m not saying the OP or anyone should bankrupt themselves or otherwise do something they find repugnant for their parents sake, but taking your parents feelings and desires into account isn’t the worst thing in the world.

          Also — I realize its the next day so you probably won’t see this — but oh well.

    13. yes, i did that and had a lovely reception a year later. was busy/broke. your life. got a few comments, but did they want to pay/plan etc.? no.

    14. This is what I did. I don’t regret it for a minute. The wedding was just 100% unimportant to me. Married seven years in April.

    15. We did a family-only wedding (20 people, 8 minute ceremony then dinner at a restaurant)then 2 weeks in Italy where we did anything we wanted. And I wouldn’t do it any other way.

      We knew our friends would miss celebrating with us (and us with them), so we threw a huge backyard party a week or so after we returned from our honeymoon. My husband brewed some kegs of beers (which he gave cute wedding names like “Hoppily Ever After” and “Holy Malt-rimony”), we threw out a big antipasto spread, roasted a whole pig and some chickens and grilled a bunch of veggies, and had cupcake versions of our wedding cakes from our family dinner. It was much more relaxed than a traditional wedding reception and really reflected our personalities.

  23. So I am sitting here bored, anxiously analyzing a spreadsheet I was given in advance of a job interview tomorrow. In a misguided attempt at distraction, I decided to run the edge of a business card through the keyboard of my laptop. Holy cr*p! Who knew there was so much hair in there?

    Sometimes I just disgust myself.

    1. I think this might be even more sad–I just tried that trick and was disappointed when it came up clean! When no one is in the office, I bang my keyboard against the desk a couple times to get all the crumbs and dust out.

      (Don’t tell the IT guys).

      1. I do that when people are in the office. It’s particularly good at making people think you’re crazy, which is totally fine with me. Fewer people in my office asking for things. ;o)

    2. I tend more towards crumbs. Every so often I turn my keyboard over and shake it. It’s always concerning. I don’t think I eat that much stuff that is crumb-producing at my desk, but obviously I do.

    1. I give something small and goofy (heart-print boxers), but I’ve been married for 8 years.

      FWIW, my husband does not want/expect gifts on Valentine’s Day. He says, “That is the day that men buy presents for their women.” However, he is all in favor of “Steak and B*** J** Day”.

    2. Yep. Usually something little every year like sweets or just something small that I know he wants but won’t pull the trigger on. I get him a card as well. I am hoping that this year he will put some thought into getting me a little something and a card (she says with a little bitterness about her absent-minded SO…)

    3. Not usually (10 years married), and he usually doesn’t get me anything either. We’ve bonded over our dislike of formal gifting occasions, so I don’t mind that he is terrible at gifts at the appropriate time. (10 anniversaries, one anniversary present, and that one was a week late.)

    4. Nope. I don’t care how many hearts and roses are plastered all over the place for the next two weeks (though I do appreciate the red color!) … I just don’t believe in spending money for this particular holiday. I’d rather celebrate an anniversary than Valentine’s.

      That said, I’ve had a terrible time trying to convince some of the SOs that I was serious. One of them seriously believed that I was deluding myself into believing that Valentine’s was unimportant. Needless to say we are no longer together!

      I will admit to buying myself a box of candy hearts every year, though, even though they’re not particularly good–especially the bitter pink ones. I guess I just enjoy seeing messages printed on my candy.

      1. I have a cinnamon jelly heart addiction! It’s really bad. I’ve already been through 2 containers and VD is still 2 weeks away.

        1. Oh man… I had forgotten about those! Thanks Bunkster–I’m definitely switching it up this year and getting those instead!

    5. I bake him something of his choosing. Our first v-day together I also got him a bottle of scotch, I think.

    6. No, not really. I couldn’t care less about Valentine’s Day, but it’s important to my husband. So I do something special for him, but it’s usually not anything expensive. This year, I’m thinking doughnuts, his favorite expensive coffee, and a card.

    7. I usually try to get him something, but my SO prefers gifts to do things, rather than to have things (i.e., tickets, trips, etc.). We’ve both been super busy at work recently, so I’m planning a weekend getaway for us, and I’ll probably buy his favorite V-day candy or something.

      I understand the whole commercialization argument, but, the way I see it, the day serves as a reminder to show the person you’re with how much you love them, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing (so long as it’s not the only day you do it).

    8. We usually just go out to a nice restaurant (this is what we do for our anniversary, too, usually right after someone calls us to wish us a happy anniversary and we go “Oh no, we forgot our anniversary!”). This year, though, we’re going to stay home and make potato latkes, because they’re one of my favorite foods and, not being Jewish, I almost never get them. We might buy a box of chocolates, too, because… chocolate.

    11. No. It’s not that big a deal in my country (although the shops love to push it as an opportunity to sell more) and we’ve both agreed that we’d rather do “special things” during the year or for our anniversary.

    12. nope, although sometimes we’ll take the opportunity to do something nice in the surrounding weeks. neither of us is big into gifts, so we typically don’t do much in the way of birthday/anniversary/christmas presents, either – we both subscribe to the “if i want it, i’ll get it myself at a convenient time” philosophy of material things.

  25. Ladies, any thoughts on a good baby gift that’s more of a memorable keepsake, rather than a utilitarian item? One of my very dearest girlfriends just had a baby girl, and I’ve already given a “useful” shower gift.

    My friend is South Asian Muslim, so if there are any traditional baby gifts that might be culturally/religiously appropriate, I’d especially appreciate suggestions along that line. One of our greatest shared interests is faith (we’re both “religion nerds”), so she wouldn’t consider it odd to get a gift with religious implications from me even though I’m Christian (and would probably find it touching).

    1. Something engraved — a silver cup from Tiffany, for example. It’s extravagant, but for a dear friend that’s ok. I know people who still have and like their cups (using them for vases or pencil cups, generally). I think, but am not certain, that a silver spoon would be less expensive than a cup.

    2. Sterling rattles are always pretty.

      My South Asian friends tended to gift gold earrings to baby girls, though I don’t know if that’s a Hindu or Muslim tradition.

    4. What about a sterling picture frame, engraved with baby’s name and birthdate, and insert a photo? As a mom, I’d display that for my entire life!

    5. How about a professional photo of the little one? You could get a smallish one 16*16 inches framed . I’m Indian and we tend to give tiny gold gifts ( I had a Carrie style nameplate necklace before there was a Carrie Bradshaw:)

      I don’t know your budget though. Etsy has lovely baby gifts.

      1. second the frame idea- i live in a condo so the stuff that isn’t useful sounds annoying

    6. My parents have four children. For each of us there was a bunnykins bowl and mug (a line of fancy china with adorable pictures of bunnies on them) and a Baby’s First Christmas ornament. My sister and I were each given a tiny gold pendant on a chain from my grandmother, and I never took mine off once until I was well into adulthood. Obviously the ornament won’t work, but I still love my bunnykins mug and my necklace.

      1. ooo, this is good. I have a pendant that’s a slice of chocolate cake from my childhood, and my sister has a little tiny gold teddy bear, and we both have kept them and still wear them sometimes.

    7. I have no idea if this would make sense for a Muslim, but for a Christian a “baby’s first bible” might be sweet — so a baby’s first koran?

    8. Gold studs, assuming the baby has pierced ears (which every girl in my HUGE South Asian family has done about a week after birth). I still routinely wear the earrings I received as baby gifts.

    9. Gold. Definitely gold. The baby has probably been gifted with tons of gold chains already, so maybe a nice little pendant? It doesn’t have to be religious, although there are pendants shaped like the Qur’an or have Allah written in Arabic or other prayers/verses. A pendant with the baby’s initial or even something abstract would be sweet. Or even the evil eye/hand of Fatima charm (which is more Middle Eastern but that’s ok).

      I know that many people give baby-sized jewelry to girls but it’s nice to have something bigger. I remember looking at “my gold” as a little kid and wearing it on special occasions. Parents do appreciate keepsakes the baby can wear when she’s older.

    10. I’m southeast Asian and we love things gold and silver. Keep it small if it’s too extravagant… I gifted my friends silver bowls and spoons and they do use them everyday. My mum engraves all her silver gifts with thoughtful messages

    11. I got this for both my nephew and niece– A handpainted children’s chair that converts to a step stool (the back flips down) with their name on it. There are lots of sites that will do this for you and you can usually work with the artist to pick a design that you like. My brother tells me that they use these chairs/stools constantly and the kids love it because it is theirs (has their name on it after all).

  26. @Kat, can we have more shoe posts for business casual shoes? Decent looking pumps are pretty easy to find but it’s very hard to find business casual shoes that don’t look either ugly or girly. Thanks.

    1. How do you define “business casual shoes”? I think it’s all about the style/coloring of the shoes. The featured shoe would work well in a business casual environment, but may not fly in more conservative/formal environments. On the other hand, I have several pairs of flats I wear with suits and consider them to be perfectly acceptable in more formal environments.

  27. We moved into a new office building a few weeks ago. I’m a paralegal (..ish) and the way the office is laid out means when my boss in his office he’s looking directly over my shoulder at my desk/computer screen.

    I feel so self-conscious about my work habits now… I’ve always been commended for my work product and productivity, and that hasn’t changed – but I get the impression that now that my boss can watch me all day he thinks I’m too fidgety or leave my desk too frequently or something.

    I do fidget and snack and read Corporette, um, almost continuously throughout the day, but I also get. sh1t. done… I just wish my boss would move his desk (I can’t move mine) so I could go back to fidgeting+working unselfconsciously and he wouldn’t have to see me. Bah humbug.

    1. Oh God, that sounds awful. My boss sits directly behind me, but he’s in an office so I usually get a little warning. Is it possible to turn your desk 90 degrees? I’m not sure what legit-sounding reason you could give. Feng shui or ergonomics?

    2. Can you get a tall fern-type plant to put behind you, between you and him? Tell him you wanted to pretty up the space.

        1. Hmmm…I’m not sure everyone would be so understanding. I like the idea, but I know I’d feel incredibly awkward just asking.

    3. Oh that would truly suck. I had a similar thing with my office manager when I started my current job where my monitor was placed in kind of an awkward spot but one that allowed him to easily look over my shoulder without me knowing. We spent a couple weeks with me shifting it so it was easier to read for me and harder for him, then him moving it back when I was out of the office. I won eventually.

    4. You could also get one of those privacy screens that go on your monitor. Makes it so no one can read the monitor unless they’re sitting directly in front of it.

    5. When I had this, I kept my brightness turned WAY down so anyone behind me would have to come pretty close to read my monitor. Hurt my eyes and sometimes gave me headaches – but worth it.

    6. thanks folks. I think I will try to figure out a way to rearrange my desk so my computer’s an an angle or something… or partially behind the plant or filing cabinets. That will help a lot.

      Then I need to figure out part 2 of the problem, which is that I’m often getting up/digging in my desk drawers/snacking with a frequency that seems to annoy my boss when he’s in his office. My job involves a lot of research/writing, so when I get stuck on an idea or reach a dead end I get up to make tea etc. while I think about it. I interpret this as “still working in my head,” but I think he sees it as “taking ANOTHER break.” And as I said, this wasn’t a problem in the old office when he couldn’t see how I worked.

      Thanks for your commiseration. It probably won’t kill me to sit still, more often. But it might.

      1. I worry about this too when I’m in the office–I am up and down when I have to knock out a report, and I work for someone who can zone out at his desk all day. I’ve taken up fidgeting–wearing shoes with room to wiggle my toes a lot and doing weird ankle exercises (like writing the alphabet).

    7. Anti-glare screens help with this, and they’re good for your eyes. Your situation would drive me crazy, so I hope you find a solution soon! I’m a major fidgeter / web-surfer, too. My job is very research and writing intensive, and if I don’t take frequent micro-breaks to read stupid stuff online, I just get writer’s block and a huge headache.

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