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Updated: Sep 30, 2020 121 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Tammy Bud Vase

Coffee Break

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These pretty turquoise bud vases caught my eye a while ago at Anthropologie and I've been drooling over them since. I'm a big fan of sprinkling flowers throughout a home — just a single rose or tulip in a bud vase by my monitor can make such a difference in mood, at least for me.

I also like that these are semi-opaque, so they hopefully won't get too cloudy, as has happened with some of my clear bud vases.

They'd also be great to make a bookshelf look pretty — you could even store them there and then just pull them down when you actually have flowers (instead of storing them in a cabinet or whatnot).

The smaller one is $30; the bigger one is $36, both at Anthropologie.

Sales of note for 9.30.24

Sales of note for 9.30.24

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Comments

  1. Coffee

    I was in mod jail on the earlier post… I’ll try again.

    Does anyone have the Keurig K-Mini? Reviews are ok not great. I just don’t want another huge bulky appliance for this occasional/max one cup coffee drinker.

  2. Anon

    What low calorie cocktails / mixed drinks do you recommend? I’m a beer and red wine drinker but doing a weight loss challenge and beer is too caloric.

    I prefer gin or tequila and do not drink vodka at all. I also don’t drink mixers with sugar free substitutes ( like Diet Coke or sugar free juices).

    I very rarely drink liquor but when I do I enjoy tropical drinks (margarita and Paloma). If it has lime Im guaranteed to like it.

    I don’t like straight whiskey but would like a mixed drink that doesn’t taste like straight whiskey (so not an old fashioned or Manhattan).

    I’m also drinking less as part Of this challenge but not drinking is not an option (I’ll be watching the debate tonight … can’t imagine doing that without a drink or two)

    • Anonymous

      Watermelon margarita? Watermelon juice, tequila, lime juice, salt/sugar rim

    • Anon

      You might try just using a small splash of the sweet stuff in your usual cocktails and letting your taste buds adjust. For instance, if you usually make a margarita with equal parts tequila, Cointreau, and fresh lime, try cutting the Cointreau in half and see if you like it well enough that way. If so, next time cut it even more.

      I find when you’re reducing the side ingredients, the main alcohol taste comes through a lot more, so don’t skimp there. I do notice a huge difference in tequilas and gins, from the cheap stuff to the good stuff. Vodka not as much, but I’m not really a vodka drinker.

      If you like G&Ts, and who doesn’t, fevertree makes a naturally lower calorie tonic that is great. Doesn’t include saccharine or aspartame or other artificial stuff.

      Last, a true martini is actually a good bang for the buck in terms of the calorie to booze ratio. I find a martini made with Hendricks gin and a muddled cucumber slice absolutely delicious, because the Hendricks already has a cucumber essence.

      • Anon

        Another thing I thought of. Modern martini glasses are huge. If you get a relatively full martini glass at a bar you’re getting something like a 4oz pour.

        I make a 2oz martini. (With a splash of Dolin vermouth, so slightly over 2oz for the entire drink.) I don’t like when martinis get warm. If I want another I can always make another, but I usually find the 2oz to be plenty for the level of buzz I want, and I stop there.

        I bought some vintage martini glasses off eBay so my 2oz pours look like a full drink.

        Now you have me thinking about what I might drink during the debate. I agree, we will definitely need a drink or two!

    • Anonymous

      Spindrift and La Croix both have grapefruit sparkling waters that you could use to make Palomas.

    • OP

      Thanks! I should also add that not only do I never make my own cocktails but I don’t even keep liquor in the house (but I have five types of beers in my fridge and two open bottles of wine). I don’t drink liquor terribly often but when I do it’s at a bar. I’m a total DIY cocktail newbie !

    • Carmen Sandiego

      They have these little ice cube things called Herb & Lou’s and they make them for different kinds of alcohol – they add some flavor, but I don’t think they’re overly sweet – and they are super easy to use – you just freeze them, pop them into your drink, and let them melt.

    • Anonymous

      I like vodka and club soda with a few lime slices. If you’re really adverse to vodka, I guess you could try it with gin.

      • AnonATL

        It’s also good if you actually like the taste of tequila.
        Sometimes I’ll put a splash of decent quality margarita mix in there, but i usually do 2 shots of tequila, lime seltzer, and lime wedges or juice. Or a splash of cranberry juice is nice too

      • Kitten

        I do this with tequila. Some people think it’s gross but it does the job and is low cal. Bonus is I get no hangover from these.

    • anon

      I don’t normally like sugar free drinks or seltzer, but I do like those ICE drinks that are 0 calories. They are good with gin or tequila and in the summer I add alcohol and freeze to make a slushie consistency.

      A martini seems like a good option, and you can make it with lime juice or other flavors (which might make it not technically a martini? But who cares!)

      Iced tea and spiced rum is really good. You can make the tea with however much or little sugar you want.

      A limeade with tequila or coconut rum could also work.

    • Diana Barry

      You can make simple syrup out of Splenda or another sugar substitute if you are finding recipes with simple syrup in them. I like to make mint simple syrup and other flavors (blueberry, etc.) and you could do that with the sugar substitute simple syrup to add a lot of flavor. I recently made up a drink and called it the “blueberry field”: 2 oz Empress gin, 1 oz blueberry simple syrup, 1 oz lemon juice, 1/2 oz Luxardo – shake and strain over ice. (I have also stocked my bar up during quarantine so I have a LOT of different liquors.)

      If you can find diet ginger beer, a dark and stormy (rum and diet ginger beer plus splash of lime and a lime wedge) is GREAT.

    • Anon

      You can use chilled Celestrial Seasonings teas as mixers – there are so many flavors.

      • Anonymous

        You can use chilled Celestrial Seasonings teas as mixers – there are so many flavors.

    • Anonymous

      Tequila in grapefruit Spindrift seltzer with a lime wedge is basically a Paloma.
      Bourbon in an Arnold Palmer (unsweetened iced tea + lemonade or sometimes I mix it up and do mint tea and limeade).
      Skinnygirl spicy margarita is not terrible and a very easy alternative.

      • kk

        tequila in grapefruit spindrift with a lime wedge is my favorite summer home cocktail.

    • Anon

      Per above, use higher quality liquor when you are cutting out sugary mixers.

      Prickly pear margaritas: 2 parts high-quality tequila and 1 part prickly pear liqueur (NOT the juice; try Thatcher’s liqueur), lime to taste.

      If you like gin, try a Last Word and Aviation. If you’re into brandy, try a Side Car. Most of the Prohibition-era cocktails, in fact, will do well: mostly liquor with egg white, lime, or lemon, and very little sugar/mixers.

      Bourbon: mint julep, hot toddy, Boulevardier, Belmont jewel (go easy on the lemonade, or make your own to keep the sugar content under control), Kentucky mule (go easy on the ginger beer), bourbon and coffee with a touch of cream.

      Also, if you think you don’t like straight bourbon, that could be an issue with either the quality of the bourbon you are getting or the type of bourbon. All bourbon is at least 51% corn, but different proportions of the other ingredients will change the sharpness of the taste. I’ll recommend Angel’s Envy, as it is finished in port wine casks (after being aged in oak); it is delightful and really appropriate on its own.

      • Ymanon

        Second prohibition cocktails!

        Aviation is brilliant, and I’d recommend Clover Club (grenadine version, since you like tropical flavours) as well. White lady is another one – don’t add sugar sirup while you mix, wait and see if the citrus liqeur is enough sweetnes.

      • curlsallday

        Bourbon drinker here. Definitely try other varieties if you haven’t found what you like. Poster above quoted my recommendation to anyone starting out Angel’s envy (I actually find their rye heavenly). Personally I like to have mine with a single ice cube or slightly chilled. I find the slightest bit of water helps cut sharpness.

        All of that being said- recommend light ginger beers as well as mixers for both bourbon and rum (kentucky mule and dark and story respectively).

        • anon

          Also try Four Roses small batch for just sipping with ice. It’s our go to bourbon on ice.

      • Anon

        I just wanted to comment that you are my drink twin. Side cars are my signature drink when my Meyer lemons are ripe, and I turned my husband the native Detroiter onto the Last Word, which he loves. The herbal green chartreuse is so good.

    • NY CPA

      Gin & Tonic is in the 100-150 calorie range I believe. However, I prefer to splurge for a dirty gin martini at more like 200-250. Yum!

    • Thanks, it has pockets!

      I got really into White Claw and Truly over the summer, and I also discovered some fun seltzer/booze combos that worked really well. Watermelon White Claw with watermelon schnapps, for example. Or pineapple Truly with coconut rum – I’d imagine a squeeze of lime could work well in there too. Or any of the berry flavored Trulys (Trulies?) with some raspberry vodka is pretty good. But whatever you do, don’t mix Citron vodka with lemon White Claw, it’s undrinkable!

      Now that it’s fall though, I’m all about the Willie’s Superbrew that has pear and cinnamon, it’s only 120 calories which is more than most seltzers but still less than a regular beer or cider.

    • Anon

      There are tons of low cal seltzers that are really yummy and easy to keep in the house.

    • Ymanon

      I can’t stand sweet cocktails, so I always use less (or no) sugar sirup in recipes with sirups. Drinks with aromatics like herbs, chili, ginger, cucumber etc have lots of flavour but less sugars.

      Some I like that need very little or no sweetener: Eastern Standard, Basil Smash, Red Snapper (Bloody Mary with gin instead of vodka).

      You can also do a Moscow Mule (vodka), London Mule (Gin) or Dark and Stormy with club soda and grated fresh ginger instead of ginger ale (which is super sugary). 4 cl spirit, juice of half a lime, and ginger ale or soda and ginger.

      A really refreshing cocktail is a thai style flavour coktail with no sweetener at all. Use fresh chili, fresh ginger, (cut up and muddle slightly), lime juice, coriander leaves and vodka, let marinate a little – top with club soda.

    • Serafina

      If you’re just looking for a refreshing and interesting-tasting, mildly alcoholic beverage, I like starting with San Pellegrino (or your sparkling water of choice) and splashing in various alcohol/juice/mix-ins that seem like they would go well together.
      My favorite is San Pellegrino with a splash of guava juice, squeeze a slice of lime, and a really good honeycomb vodka from a local distillery (I know you said no vodka but this one really doesn’t taste like vodka) and (optional) St Germain
      – A splash of grapefruit juice and tequila would probably go together
      – Gin, cucumber, mint, lime, and rose water (sparkling water optional; this is a recipe from a favorite cocktail bar)
      – Not with sparkling water (though you could make a spritzer), I like good gin, lime, and simple syrup well shaken with ice for a gimlet

    • Senior Attorney

      I’ve given up on cocktails because of the effects and the calories, so I just have a glass of champagne or prosecco as my “cocktail.”

      • OP

        I love to do the same – I really love the Dark Horse cans of champagne.

        I live by the quote of keep a bottle (or a few cans) of champagne in the fridge so you’re always ready to celebrate. Even if you’re just celebrating the fact that you have a bottle of champagne in the fridge.

        However, watching the debate is less celebratory fun champagne and much more solemn / I hope this goes well and so something less festive than champagne

    • Anon

      Ranchwater! Tequila, lime juice, sparkling water. Source: Texan whose had many, many of these by a poolside.

    • OP

      Thanks for all of these great ideas! Trying an Irish Mule tonight (love ginger beer and lime but vodka makes me very ill so Moscow Mules were always a no go… think I’d like a London Mule too)

      Love the idea of playing around with gin, different mixers and a shaker too

  3. rant

    I am a member of a rich church that talks the talk on wokeness, BLM, LGBTQ+ things, etc.

    Recently, they had a talk (streamed) re school integration. The speaker talked about the benefits of integration, how it progressed in our county (school system is run by the county over an area that at rush hour is 1 hour * 1.5 hours, depending on which highway your are sitting in traffic on, busing by court order beginning in 1970, reversal of court order in the late 90s/early 2000s, etc.). The audience asked what they could do to help and the speaker told them to oppose the move to neighborhood schools and do other things.

    The great irony is that the audience largely started area private schools that all are having 50th anniversaries this year, and paid for their kids and grandkids to go there. They won’t even go to the neighborhood schools in “good” neighborhoods. I guess integration is something for people without trust funds to do and that you are going to send your kid to Country Day and then to Groton, so what does it matter? Racists are bad. People who don’t want their kid on long bus rides that don’t work with multiple kids in different grades, work schedules, activities and traffic are racist. Other people. Always other people.

    It sidestepped the way that the county has had explosive growth over the past 2 decades in particular, that the city is about as Hispanic now as it is Black, that it has an Asian population, and that many white people abandoned the schools permanently a generation ago (so are not likely to be wooed back; white people largely use county schools in newer neighborhoods that are income segregated but diverse in terms of adults and school-aged children). Also: there are far too many very poor kids and ESL kids for the school system to work well and too few rich kids in it to really diversify them out other than by busing the few left a handful at a time to other schools (which will probably run them off, too).

    So to the people who killed the only chance our area had to have a decent school system for all, it was really amazing for them to point fingers to current parents who are too racist to integrate. These people may write a large scholarship check to fancy private schools, which is better than nothing, but it is like putting a bandaid on a shotgun wound.

    • Anonymous

      I will tell my own story even though I will likely get flammed for it. When I was in grade 11 I electively transfered to a more diverse school, my young self though I was being radical. What ended up happening was that I got a terrible eduction that semester because teachers couldn’t control the students and even though I had a lot of shiny 94%, 97% even a damn 99% in one class, I didn’t actually learn anything and I even got assaulted. So I transferred back to the Lily white school which academically challenged me, was not a threat to my safety, and actually prepared me for post secondary education. I can understand why parents wouldn’t want their kids to go through that.

      • anon

        1 bad school that is “more diverse” being a negative experience for you does not mean that diverse schools in general are dangerous and academically weak, nor does it justify de facto segregation.

        • Anon

          I think the point is that it’s completely okay not to send children to unsafe schools if you have other options!

    • Monday

      I recommend the podcast series Nice White Parents on this issue. I had no idea how similar the issues and interests involved have been since the early 1960s.

      • Anonymous

        No thanks if it is like the NYT article.

        As a parent, I just want a school that will teach my kids. A lot of schools in my city are overwhelmed with non-school problems. It’s not their fault. But I’ve got enough problems right now and sending my kid to a school like that isn’t going to fix it. I hear stories about parents having their kid sit through 6 hours of zoom school and then having to spend hours re-teaching and everyone is miserable. I can’t sign up for that for 13 years. I just can’t (and when zoom goes away, the in-person issues will replace it probably). Things were bad before corona.

    • anonshmanon

      sounds a lot like what the new season of the serial podcast focuses on.

  4. Anonymous

    Just venting. My husband grew up with wealthy parents who never had to lift a finger around the house. They had a full-time household employee and several kids to take care of most of the work, and anything else they hired out. My family, on the other hand, DIY’d everything. Both of my grandfathers were doing heavy manual labor on their own homes until shortly before they died at around age 80.

    Now every time anything needs to be done around the house, my husband complains bitterly that he shouldn’t have to do it because his dad never had to, but he doesn’t want to spend the money to pay anyone else to do it either. He even gets mad when I make repairs myself. As a result, our house and yard are just not very nice, which I find depressing. The interior hasn’t been painted in more than 15 years and is horribly grungy, but he won’t let me paint it or have it painted. He complains that our lawn is composed almost entirely of weeds, but won’t consider a professionally installed sprinkler system, a DIY system, or even a hose with a sprinkler. I have suggested moving to a low-maintenance townhouse, but he feels strongly that a real man must own a single-family home. I am sick and tired of hearing him gripe and of living in a dingy mess, and I resent the fact that when we do sell the house we’ll have to spend tens of thousands of dollars to fix it up for someone else to enjoy. I’ve tried to tell him that the constant complaining and refusal to maintain our home is seriously eroding our quality of life, and he takes it as an insult to his earning capacity. (Note that we actually could afford to keep a nice home, he just doesn’t believe we can.)

    To make things worse, he’s just inherited a relatively modest sum of money and this makes him feel even more inadequate because he didn’t earn it himself. He refuses to take any action to make himself happier, whether it’s looking for a better job or taking up a hobby. I am at my wits’ end. We have one child left to get through college, which won’t happen for several more years.

    • Anon

      Your husband sounds like the man baby we’re always talking about on here. I don’t like hearing that he won’t “let” you paint. If you want to paint, paint. Tell him to F off. That’s what it’s going to take at this point.

      That or divorce, which sounds like a good option based on what you’ve told us here.

      • Anon

        +1. Not usually a fan of the “DTMFA” approach, but based solely on your description, that sounds like no way to live.

        • Anon

          Yeah I agree. Not a fan of jumping to divorce but if he’s not letting you paint (it’s something you want to do, it clearly means more to you than it does to him, you’re offering to do the labor, it’s low cost), I’d be out.

        • Senior Attorney

          Yup. I was married to this guy. I ended up leaving, of course, but I wish, in the meantime, that I’d have just done what needed to be done. To hell with “letting” me do what needs to be done in my own home.

    • Anonymous

      Oof — sorry for you. I think that people need to do 1 of 3 things: lead, follow, or get out of the way. Complaining isn’t on that list. Dude clearly is not a leader. I guess if you start doing what you need to be done, you may find out if he will either get out of the way or follow. But you know what you need to do — don’t let him clip your wings b/c he has none of his own. Go to the store and buy painters tape and paint and drop cloths and two rollers. Maybe he will pick one up. If not, at least your house will look nicer. Dude probably won’t have the stones to complain to a third party: boo hoo my wife painted the house which went untouched for 15 years.

    • Anon

      Paint your damn house and probably ditch the worthless husband while you’re at it.

      • Anon

        I didn’t mean that to sound so aggressive towards you, OP. That was vicarious frustration at your husband!

    • Anonymous

      What is the point of this marriage? Hire a painter and pay from it out of joint account. Then hire a lawyer.

    • Anon

      If a “real man” has a single-family home, it’s because he spends the time and money to maintain it.

      Make the repairs.

    • Nesprin

      I’m exhausted living with a highly handy husband who fixes all the things (but also works so stuff takes time) and refuses to pay for things to be done by others. (seriously, paying the tile guy to do our floor in 3 dys, versus the 3 mos it would take spouse was a major blowup, but I won, and my floor looks great)

      Living with a husband who refuses to fix problems, refuses to pay someone to fix problems and refuses to let you fix problems? You don’t have house problems, you have husband problems.

    • anon

      Just in case any negative self talk, fear of starting another round of fights or him complaining, etc is keeping you from painting: YES YOU CAN paint your house. YES YOU CAN pick out colors and make it happen (paying for someone else to do it yourself). YES HE WILL have to deal with it and that’s on him. It’s not your job to accommodate his continuous self defeated state since you know your house needs the upkeep. YES YOU CAN take charge and start using your agency to make changes that make your life better even if he won’t.
      You got this! And he will adjust. :)
      This is a perfect time to tackle painting and other projects before ‘winter in a pandemic’ hits and you are stuck indoors with a forlorn house and husband. Make your home comfortable and everyone in the home wins!

    • Anon

      He’s going to gripe forever so just do what you want. Spend the money, paint what you want. You don’t have to live a miserable life just because he wants to.

      • Senior Attorney

        Chiming in again to agree. Here’s when I learned that it wasn’t even about what it was about, it was about him being a contrarian: One time we were re-doing our landscaping and I had the audacity to go with the landscaper to pick out rosebushes. I was happy and excited, and of course he had to find fault with my choices and read me the riot act for doing it wrong.

        Well. Some months later there was a windstorm and one of the tree roses blew over. I noticed it immediately, of course, but I didn’t say anything. It was like that for a full week, until the gardeners staked it back up, and he never even noticed. He didn’t look at the roses, he didn’t care about the roses, he just wanted to be a d!ck.

        After that I was a lot more liberal about just doing things despite his whining and complaining. I just wish it hadn’t been so close to the end.

    • anon

      My husband is similar, and definitely gets stuck in that place of “no” where he doesn’t want to spend money, doesn’t want to do it himself, doesn’t want the small fix when he’s dreaming of the big renovation he doesn’t want to spend money on, and complains about the way it is. A lot of it stems from anxiety and depression, and he’s seeking treatment for that. In the meantime, I deal with it in several ways.

      For an issue where I am OK with the status quo, I have straight up told him that he cannot discuss that issue until he is ready to move forward. For you, maybe that’s the lawn. If so, I would just tell him (more kindly than I did) that until he’s ready to spend some money or get his hands dirty, you don’t want to hear him complain about the weeds, or imagine how great a fire pit would be, or whatever. When he’s ready, you’re there to discuss a plan. (Note that that may be never, but at least you don’t have to hear about it.)

      For an issue where I do care, I find a way to move the project forward. Last year, for my Christmas present, I bought a new light fixture and a dimmer switch and asked my husband to install them–he did install them, though one he didn’t get around to until May. I have used vacation days to paint this year. Also, I’m generally responsible for our monthly budget, and I budget generously for “household maintenance” and put anything we don’t spend in a particular month in a separate account for later. When we discuss upgrading or fixing something, I point to the money in the account dedicated specifically for the house so it’s clear we can afford it, and it’s also clear that that money is either going to sit in that account forever or get spent on the house. (I also have separate accounts for other things he has a hard time spending money on, including healthcare and travel.)

    • Vicky Austin

      If you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t, do what you want and he can damn well deal.

      • No Face

        This is where I landed. OP, I’m so sorry. It is so hard to deal with someone who just won’t deal with his ish. He is being completely unreasonable, and it all is from his own emotional/psychological issues.

      • anon

        Exactly this. I am furious for you, OP. I would not be OK with living in a dingy place when WE DON’T HAVE TO.

      • Walnut

        Exactly this. Do you have cash to pay for what you want done? If so, make a list, start getting quotes and your cranky husband can deal. If you don’t have the cash to hire it out, get your DIY hat on and go buy a can of paint this weekend.

    • Thanks, it has pockets!

      Wow, that sounds really frustrating. He has three options: do it himself, pay someone to do it, or let you do it. Someone has to do that stuff! I would very plainly lay out those three options, and acknowledge that neither of them is necessarily attractive to him, but he needs to choose, because there’s no fourth option and that stuff won’t magically happen on its own.

      He seems trapped between what he wants and what he feels a “real man” ought to do, and maybe he’d benefit from a therapist who can help him sort through that toxic masculinity, but ultimately, he needs to either take ownership and do the work or delegate, or let you handle it.

      • anon

        He sounds like he’d benefit from therapy – any chance he’d be willing to give that a go?

        • Thanks, it has pockets!

          From what I’ve read, it’s unlikely he’d jump at the idea, but it’s definitely something that should be encouraged, perhaps aggressively encouraged.

    • Kitten

      I’d dump him after he comingles the inheritance with community funds.

      Joking, kind of.

      You sound bitter and rightfully so. At the minimum insist on marriage counseling, and he probably needs individual therapy. You only have one life to live and you should demand more.

    • Go for it

      I feel for you! Kindly, you have been far too accommodating to unacceptable living conditions.
      Just do it, you do not need to live like that.
      DH will be on board or not….you get to decide how to live in your own home. Paint, garden, spruce up your environs….pay someone to do this stuff- spend the vacation fund ~ goodness knows it’s not like anyone can travel.

    • Anonyz

      I have the opposite economic side of your problem–my husband grew up very blue collar and thinks only lazy yuppies hire out work. He ties up his “salt of the earth” identity in being the person to do absolutely every project. He just does not have the time to do all that needs doing, and now that we’re older, he also has physical limitations that he won’t admit to. Stuff doesn’t get done; the house and yard are shameful.

      So, I just started hiring people and getting things done. He causes fights about it, but we were fighting anyway–so why not have pride in my property and home?

  5. Anon

    I’m medicated and see a therapist, but I still have days where I feel totally debilitated by depression. I feel like I’m walking around with one of those heavy x-ray vests that they put on you at the dentist and I just want to crawl into bed (which, now that I’m working from home, is far more doable than before). I need help pushing through these days and still getting my work done. Tips?

    • Anon

      Is your antidepressant more sedating or more energizing? (If it’s more sedating, I’m wondering if you could you ask your psychiatrist about add-ons like bupropion or Deplin?) If meds are sorted, could you check in with your PCP to make sure there’s no comorbidity at play? Sometimes psych meds not working well enough means that the depression is connected to a physiological issue that hasn’t been identified yet.

      • anonnnn

        If you haven’t already, I would talk to your doctor about this. The medication you are on right now, may not be the right one for you or it may not be the right dosage for you.

    • Anonymous

      No suggestions. Just commiseration. I did therapy over the summer, it helped but I might have quit to early. On days like you describe, I just try to put one foot in front of the other.

    • Trixie

      These are really difficult times. I, too, feel like I am wading through molasses most days. I am working with my shrink on my meds, and I hope that helps. She also suggested that I stop watching the news and just read the news (this will help) and try Reuters or another more neutral website. She suggested trying to have more fun, ie games, comedies, etc., and I am trying that. I have decided to do some redecorating, like most of America, and that is fun. Can you think of a fun project? You might be too depressed for that. and of course, exercise every morning, even a little bit like 15 minutes, and socializing as you can manage. if your depression is related to our dumpster fire of a country, try to remind yourself that “this will pass, it will not stay like this, things will get better” (I wish I 100% believed this) and that may help. Positive self talk is helpful. I’m sorry you are feeling so bad, and I send you cyber hugs and good vibes.

  6. Anon

    There was a thread here with home renovation blog recommendations and I think one recommendation in particular for a woman who is restoring her old house? Does anybody remember that. I’m looking for more content in the vein of Daniel Kanter. I particularly like the details about the work that goes into the restorations, not just before and after pictures and posts about decorating. And I do watch This Old House; Norm Abram was my very first celebrity crush.

    • Anon

      I’m not familiar with DK. Are you only open to blogs or to IG accounts as well? Is there an era or aesthetic you’re interested in? Does it have to be DIY? I can think of quite a few IGers.

        • Anon

          Ooh, that thread below is such a good one! Sorry I missed it the first time around.

          Here are the IG accounts I know that are in the construction or hands-on phases: oldtownhome (they have a blog, too), a_patriots_farm, aprettyhappyhome, momfetti, taquitockfarm, bringingbackbrookside, crazyfixerupper, kennedyfosterhouse, seward_plantation, ourfinalrestingplace, theaccidentalpreservationist. Gosh, I’m sure there are lots more.

          Enonhall is done with their house, but they were one of the first old house restoration blogs 20+ years ago and you can start at the beginning and catch up.

          You might also enjoy blackcreekworkshop and downeastpreservation – they do restoration work.

          And you might also enjoy my account, cedarmoon1828, though we’re still in the architectural planning phases and won’t start construction until 2022. For now, it’s mostly sunset photos and history. All these accounts I’ve listed are my IG friends and I feel like I know them all personally :)

    • Anonymous

      I am a big fan of door sixteen, Anna dorfman, her current house is uninspiring but the house the blog was named after has some amazing archives on restoring a Victorian row house in NY. I also like farmhouse vernacular, Paige, she’s a controversial figure but when I looked into it I couldn’t find much to support the accusations except for jealousy.

    • Anon

      I also recommend The Art of Doing Stuff, by a Canadian woman who has done an incredible job in her 100-year old house and near-by allotment. She write a funny article style post, good pictures, then step-by-step with more pictures.

  7. DoesntBelongHere

    Running/workout wear recommendation needed! Are there any shorts that are not skin-tight that can hold a phone securely in a pocket? I have a pair of bicycle-type shorts that have a side pocket but I need more air circulation…When I search for running shorts online, it’s hard to tell if pockets are big enough and/or if a phone wouldn’t flop around. Thanks!

    • Anonymous

      I prefer a running belt to a phone pocket in my shorts. I like the one from LLL because it’s easier to use than the FlipBelt.

    • anonnnn

      I haven’t found any yet. Have you tried one of the running belts that is very slim and intended only for a phone and keys and maybe one other small item?

    • Anon

      Are you open to a FlipBelt or similar? I think they’re much better for holding phones than pockets are.

    • Go for it

      SPI belt, they are great. Can hold phone, keys, money/ credit card all without a bounce.

    • anon

      Maybe check the men’s (or boys’ if you’re petite) section? Pockets are practically guaranteed to be big enough for a phone and skintight styles are less popular.

    • DoesntBelongHere

      Thanks, all, for these helpful replies. I will check out these belts!

    • Another anon

      Some of the Athleta running shorts have a small phone sized zipper pocket in the back of the wide waistband. Maybe the “Run With It” ones? This worked well for me.

    • DC Runner

      Highly recommend Oiselle. Expensive.. but their shorts have pockets on the waistband in the back that I put my phone in. Check out the long rogas.

  8. Car Reccs?

    Two questions:
    1) Has anyone bought a car through CarMax home delivery – tips/recommendations?
    2) Car reccs? I am not a confident driver and am looking to get a reliable first car that will be easy to handle. My ideal budget is <10,000 cash, with a willingness to put that down and finance the rest for a good fit. I have been filtering for cars 2016 and newer, at least 30 mpg, and under 100K miles.

    Thanks!

    • Anon

      Everyone says you can’t go wrong with a Civic and they are supposed to last forever.

    • Anon

      My car is very, very old but I only bought it about 18 months ago.

      It’s a Camry and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s my first car and I honestly plan on only buying used Toyota’s ever again (dream car would be a hybrid RAV4)

      • Anonymous

        +1 you can’t go wrong with Toyotas. I had mine for 20 years and it could have kept going had I been willing to do some maintenance (some things wearing out with age that could be replaced, but wasn’t worth it with a car that old)(I replaced it with a subaru only because I didn’t like the size of the current toyota options-either felt too small or too big).

    • Flats Only

      With your parameters I would look for a used Mazda 3. They are very reliable, and have precise handling, which makes them easier to drive. They are small enough that you won’t feel like you’re driving an air craft carrier, but they’re big enough inside that you can fit people/things easily. To find a cheap one, keep an eye out for listings at non-Mazda dealers. You will find that the Honda dealer doesn’t want a traded-in Mazda hanging around on his lot, and thus may have a very competitive price on it.

      • Anon

        Caveat: My 2005 Mazda3 only lasted 10 years before the bottom was completely rusted and every mechanic I took it too (in 3 states/provinces over the years) said they’d seen that in many Mazdas of that time period.

    • anonnnn

      (1) not via home delivery, but I have had a WONDERFUL experience with CarMax. I bought my car from them last year and they made it super easy to trade my car in (with a good value) and their service department has been wonderful with one warranty repair that I needed. I probably won’t buy anywhere else again!

      (2) I have had two bad experiences with VW Jettas, so I do not recommend those. Toyotas and Hondas are generally a solid choice for anyone.

      • Anonymous

        Countering that I have had good experiences with VWs. Adding that I wasn’t impressed with the older Hondas that I owned. Never owned a Toyota but others in my family have and like them. I believe Honda used to have a reputation for reliability but they are definitely priced to include the reputation and newer models may not be as well engineered as the older ones. However, I have never heard any similar feedback on Toyotas.

    • Anonymous

      Agree with anonnnn that Toyotas and Hondas are solid choices, but if you can’t find any used, Nissan is also fairly reliable in my experience. If you’re doing city driving or mostly just about town, Honda Fit or Toyota Corolla would be my rec for a first time car.

    • Thanks, it has pockets!

      I’ve been a Honda fan for years, their cars are super reliable and run for a good 10+ years. I bought my used Civic (which was, admittedly, 6 years old at the time) for about 10,000. I’m also interested in a Subaru as our next car, since they tend to be in the same price range as Hondas but seem more suitable for these New England winters, almost everyone I know who has one loves theirs and can’t recommend it enough.

    • Anonymous

      It sounds like you want a Japanese compact or subcompact. Decide if you want a hatchback or sedan to narrow it down. I love my Mazda3, but Honda and Toyota make reliable cars in this category.
      Most importantly, if you are looking for cars 2016 or newer, you should really revise your search to look for cars well under 100k miles — closer to 50k and even less if the car is newer. You don’t want to take on a car that has been driven 20-25k miles a year (for the oldest car in your search). I think the average miles driven is something around 13,500/year. You can probably find something with much less (e.g., I’ve driven 85,000 in 10.5 years).

    • Anon

      Get an electric car. I’ve heard the Nissan Leafs are good, but I’m not sure on whether you can get them used.

    • Get a Honda

      I just used Carvana and it was amazing! They delivered the car to me, took care of all the registration paperwork, etc., and took care of surface-level paint damage that they inflicted during the cleaning process.

      As for a reliable first car, I’d go with a Honda. My first car was a Honda Civic and I loved it. Great gas mileage, easy to handle and park, good visibility, and super easy maintenance because they’re so prevalent.

      My second car was a Honda Accord, and I drove it for over a decade, roughly 160k miles, when I sold it. I could have easily put another 100k miles on it. Again, handled nicely, looked nice, easy and cheap maintenance, great gas mileage. And the Accord was surprisingly roomy, we took it camping, skiing, moved clothes and small furniture with it, etc.

    • anon

      My first car was a Toyota Camry. It was a hand me down from my mom and lasted 20 years (totaled in an accident through no fault of its own). I now drive a Toyota Prius which I like as well. A little getting used to the hatchback style but overall very simple to drive/maintain and it has good mileage.

      • Anonymous

        I would recommend a 2016 or newer Prius, and not the Prius C. The 2010-2015 design has less pickup than the redesign, worse visibility, and worse gas mileage, and is significantly less fun to drive. I have a 2018 Prius and adore it. The only thing I don’t like about it is the weird gearshift that is in the dashboard instead of the center console and that doesn’t include a park position (you have to press a separate button to put the car in park instead of shifting into park; this can lead you to think the car is in park when it is still in gear, especially if you have been driving a normal car for many years).

        The Prius C is just awful. It’s like driving a golf cart.

    • SmallLawAtl

      If you can get a Corolla for that, that would be my recommendation. A Camry would be great, but they’re hard to find under $10K. Smaller cars are easier to maneuver and park. If you get a newer car, you can get back-up cameras, blind-spot monitors and a ton of stuff that will make you a better driver. I used to scoff at that kind of stuff, but my 16 yo son was not a confident driver, and they’ve helped him tremendously.

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