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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 216 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s TPS Report: Eliza J Cap Sleeve Faux Wrap Jersey Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS)· Under $150

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Eliza J Cap Sleeve Faux Wrap Jersey DressI like a good deal, particularly on a dress that, while thin, is something that I'd wear year round. It looks lovely by itself for the summer, perhaps with a lightweight blazer, but for a casual winter day at the office I think it would look great with tights, knee-high boots or pumps (know your office!), and a comfy boyfriend cardigan. I'd probably stick with neutrals (blacks, grays, whites), but I think it would look nice with brown accessories, or even a pop or orange. The dress was $118, but is now marked to $44.97. Eliza J Cap Sleeve Faux Wrap Jersey Dress Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2) P.S. We have been experimenting with the caching program again, but as of last night we turned off “browser caching” — so a lot of the problems that you guys were reporting in comments will hopefully be gone. Please let me know what kind of tech problems you're having as of this morning. 

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Comments

  1. A

    TGIF! On to a threadjack – I saw some recommendations for padfolios yesterday. Has anyone seen something where I can keep a spiral notebook and that has room for random papers and maybe a pen holder?

    Everyone at work has a leather padfolio. But I’m not good without the spiral notebook, I just end up loosing all the papers. But my plain notebook always looks out of place. Thank you!

  2. Anonymous

    Any advice for driving from Boston to NY? Specific route suggestions are appreciated. Thanks!

    • bananagram

      For the love of all that’s holy, get ezpass first. It would have saved me ~2 hours during my first NY-Boston drive.

    • Killer Kitten Heels

      EZPass, definitely. Also, don’t take 95 the whole way. That never, ever ends well. Lastly, if you can leave Boston after 9pm or before 6am, it will make the drive much faster.

    • BB

      You can do I-90 west out to I-84 then onto I-91 down to New Haven, where you can pick up I-95. Might be slightly longer than 95 the whole way, but a bit more pleasant. FYI, I-90 is awful during evening rush hour, and becomes pretty much pointless Friday between 4-8PM (everyone trying to get out of the city for the weekend).

      • rosie

        I think 84 to 91 is acutally shorter than 95 all the way along the shore–definitely don’t take 95 the whole way. Also, you can take 15 from around Middletown, CT to NY as an alternative to 95 in CT and NY. It’s two lanes and less lighting than 95, but no trucks. Don’t pick it up right from Hartford/I-84, because it’s not controlled access that far north. IIRC, it’s called the Wilbur Cross, then the Merrit Parkway, then the Hutch, then the Cross County. I typically take the Cross County to the Saw Mill to the Westside Highway, which is good to either go to the west side or over the GW…not sure where you want to end up.

        • snowy

          this is my go-to as well. The Merrit can be terrifying your first time, but it moves at least.

          also, who doesn’t have an EZPass? I am confused by this constantly. I have had one since 2003.

        • P Funk

          As a frequent NY to MA driver (gotta love living far from family…), this is the exact route I take 99% of the time. I only detour for roadwork.

          • IMMJ

            I agree. Look for the signs for the Charter Oak Bridge (I think that’s what it’s called) north of Hartford – that’s what takes you onto 91. This is a perfect time of year to take the Wilbur Cross/Merritt/Hutchinson – it’s a gorgeous drive. And you can usually go 70, as we locals do.

        • anne-on

          Agreed, this is the way to go in especially to avoid the Whitestone or the George Washington Bridge, which can be flat out awful. It also has the benefit of avoiding nearly all of the NYC airport traffic.
          Just an FYI – in CT the Merritt is well known for very rarely having cops patrol due to how narrow it is, so the left lane is typically moving at 75-90mph during the day. Just an FYI, my NYC based family had no clue and was tailgated the entire way up doing 65 in the left hand way the first time they drove in CT.

          • BB

            Agree with this point on the Merritt. It’s somewhat nicer and faster, but a much more dangerous road IMO. In addition to all the risks mentioned, it also has crazy short, straight on-ramps, which cause you to have to go from like 20mph to jumping into pretty heavy 75mph traffic.

        • Divaliscious11

          This….

          And don’t drive slow on the Merritt. The Fairfield county Speedies will appreciate it! Its beautiful so try not to get distracted…

    • TravelMoreRoads

      Traffic is usually fine on 95 until New Haven (unless it’s rush hour in Providence in which case 295 is longer but usually moves more), and sometimes there’s a little more when you hit the CT border before NY. Depending on exactly where you’re headed you can do Tappan Zee bridge (less traffic and lower tolls) then work your way down 9W then over – just did this reverse trip a few days ago and was a gorgeous fall drive.

    • anon

      Do you have an iphone? Download the app Waze – seriously it’s game-changing, especially for a traffic filled route like NYC to Boston. it eats battery like crazy, so make sure you bring your charger, but will change your route and directions based on real-time reports from other users (and it actually works, has saved me literally hours on trips before). It’s awesome.

  3. Eleanor

    I noticed the other day that Boden had a 15% off everything sale going on. Does anyone know if they’re likely to have a bigger sale before the end of the year?

    • PolyD

      I would bet they have bigger discounts on certain items, at least, but the question is whether you want to take a chance that what you want will still be in stock when they do.

    • Eleanor

      Thank you both! It’s just a sweater I want but don’t need, so I’m willing to take the risk waiting for a bigger sale.

  4. Ellen

    Yay! Fruegel Friday’s!!! I love fruegel friday’s, and this fruegel dress! I also think the dress would look GREAT with PUMP’s, even in the winter! Great find, Cat!

    Last nite, Willem had a limo pick me up and take me to a resturant on the Water in Brooklyn, where his company had a nice dinner. Alot of the guy’s thought that I was Willem’s wife b/c he is older and I look like someone he would be MARRIED to. One guy said that Willem realy upgraded, and that women like me were “OUT OF HIS LEEGUE!” which dad said is a complement!

    So the limo took Willem and me to Barcleay’s and we saw the Net’s game and the Net’s won! We had a luxuray box and there was alot more food and wine and cheeze and desert’s! YUMMY! I also saw LABRONN JAMES play. He was VERY impressive and Willem asked me if I wanted a shirt with his autograph that his firm got for him. I said I did NOT want a shirt, but he could keep it. After the game, Willem drove me back in the limo and it was a good thing I listened to dad and had the relative’s sleep over last nite, b/c Willem wanted to come in afterward’s. I told him about my relative’s from Budapest sleepeing over so he could NOT come up. I think he thought he could but I told him some other time, MABYE.

    This morning, I have to go with Igor and Oleg to Rockefeller Center, where we are goieng up to the TOP OF THE ROCK. I was goieng to ask them if they wanted to go to the Empire State Buildeing, but that is to close to work and I do NOT want to go to work today b/c it is so nice out. Beside’s, the manageing partner does not like to see me in causual clothe’s. He insist’s I wear nice dresse’s and pump’s. He does not even like me in FLAT’s! He is so silly b/c he also make’s MARGIE dress up all the time, even around the house!

    Anyway, Igor is getteing testy b/c he also want’s to go ice skateing today. He saw peeople Ice Skateing on the Today show, so now he want’s to show off. He claim’s he was once on the Budapest Olympic Hockey team. It must be along time ago b/c he does not look like he could play hockey now, except mabye as a GOALEE. YAY!!!!!

  5. DJC

    My husband and I want to create a living will/trust. Our situation is not too complicated – joint checking, savings, Roth IRA account. We recently sold a house and are in the process of building a new one so we’re currently living in an apartment. No kids, just pets. I was thinking of using Legalzoom. Is that a reputable service to use? Any tips or questions I should ask? Thanks!

    • Frustrated/Thrilled T&E attorney

      I know you have a legitimate question, but here’s my perspective:

      I wholeheartedly encourage you to pick a “living will/trust” (is that an advance medical directive or a revocable trust? or something else?) from legalzoom. I practice in T&E with a lot of estate administration and I’m keeping tabs of of my fees generated in 2013 from ungluing situations caused by clients who wanted to do their intermediate/advanced estate planning from legal zoom.

      At the end of September I had generated over $17,000 in fees just from fixing problems in estate administration for four different clients this year caused by people who wanted to save a buck up front by using legal zoom. People choosing legal zoom is turning into my bread and butter.

      For the life of me I don’t understand why people will go to Whole Foods and pay $9.00/lb for sausage but will try to save $1500 on a document that will affect the lives of others for years. Perhaps someone can explain that to me?

      • DJC

        I mentioned Legalzoom just b/c it seemed an easy way to get started, not necessarily because of the cost. We’ve never done anything like this before, so maybe it would make sense to go directly to attorney. My parents used someone to get their will, etc created so I can check with them.

      • Anonymous

        I have heard this exact same thing from the T&E lawyers I know – they are making a killing off the “make your own will” kits, and online “legal” document services. It’s becoming very profitable, especially because untangling messes is very expensive.

        • Emmabean

          Ugh. From another perspective, I do work for a bank and I can’t tell you how frustrating some of the messes people get themselves into are. Apparently it’s not all a product of legalzoom-type things, but also shady lawyers who can convince people to make terrible decisions just to make a buck – i.e. transferring your encumbered home to a family member prior to your death so you can avoid probate.

      • WestCoast Lawyer

        “For the life of me I don’t understand why people will go to Whole Foods and pay $9.00/lb for sausage but will try to save $1500 on a document that will affect the lives of others for years.”

        Love this!

        We had an attorney draw up our estate planning documents. Nothing complicated, although we did need to include provisions for our kids. But there were so many questions that he also answered for us, like once the trust was established how we should order the beneficiary designations for our insurance policies, how we should title the deed to our house, why to set up a trust (i.e. what would happen to our estate in probate if we didn’t have one). He also asked a lot of questions I hadn’t previously thought about. As an added bonus, I now have someone I trust that I can call when occasional questions arise (for which he rarely bills us unless it requires him to actually draft something).

        I haven’t looked at legal zoom, and I’m sure they address some of these issues, but I didn’t want to worry that if something happened to my husband and/or myself, someone else would have to deal with the frustration of unraveling some DIY legal mess I created because I didn’t missed some legal formality that was required to make sure the trust was set up properly.

    • just Karen

      I would recommend going to an attorney, especially since it sounds like you have a referral source. A simple trust really doesn’t have to cost terribly much, but definitely worth the investment to have it done right the first time (it costs sooooooo much more to fix something done badly than to start from scratch with it done right). I will sit down and advise clients on all the steps they can take on their own if they just truly can’t afford a trust right now, and do a set of simple wills for the time being – hopefully the attorney you go to will be able to do something similar to give you some options.

      • Anon w/out Will!

        I have a follow on question for this. DH and I don’t have a will/trust etc. and should obviously remedy that. I had a temp job with a T&E lawyer years and years ago, and it seemed like a trust was nice for avoiding probate, but then you had to spend a lot of time transferring all your accounts into the trust’s name and keeping up with that over the years. We live in Virginia, and I wonder whether a simple will (no kids – very straightforward financial situation) would really generate that much of a tedious probate process that it would be worth the extra work of dealing with a trust. Obviously not asking for legal advice, just general impressions.

        • Walnut

          I am in the same boat. Pretty simple financial picture, no kids, and little desire to spend the time/money to set up a trust.

        • just Karen

          I absolutely don’t think that everyone needs a trust. A lot of people are just fine with a Will and having named beneficiaries on insurance and transfer on death beneficiaries on accounts, but I do think everyone should have an Advance Medical Directive, and most should also have an Appointment of Guardian and/or Durable Springing Power of Attorney. For those who like the idea of a Trust but don’t want to have everything currently go through it, you can always have one set up that is minimally funded and have accounts pay into the trust upon your death (and have a Pourover Will that sends all the leftovers into it if you forget something).

        • legal eagles...?

          Good question.

          We recently were forced to do estate planning for my father, way too late…. My mother passed away two years ago without a will, after dying too young from a horrible cancer. It was a horrible time and only made more stressful by us having no idea how to deal with the legal issues as her death was approaching. Or afterwards…..

          After she passed, my disabled father deteriorated and still didn’t have any estate planning. It took us more then 1year to get something basic in place. Again… a horrible, stressful experience for all. How I wish my parents had been proactive.

          So good for all of you for thinking about this so early.

          We hired a lawyer, which my father was very unhappy about. While $1500 may not sound like a lot of money to you, it really is a lot to some people, and it cost more of us. I agree that it is worth it in the end. It was also very difficult for us to find a lawyer, and we have had not very good experiences with legal professionals in the past. But that’s another topic.

          When setting up my Dad’s situation, the lawyer recommended a Trust, and honestly I didn’t understand at the time why. He did not explain it well, and it isn’t very detailed. All of his retirement accounts/investment vehicles had beneficiaries already, so in the end the only thing that went into the trust was the small house and one bank account. He didn’t explain what to do about moving future things into the trust, or when/why that would be a good idea (vs. using beneficiaries, if possible) … See a lawyer I assume? So the bulk of his estate is in his retirement accounts/investments, with the beneficiaries listed, which can be changed at any time without legal advice.

          Obviously I am not very financially savvy unfortunately, and I am my father’s primary caregiver.

          Well, now I THINK I understand what the trust should have actually done, if the lawyer had explained it better. My mother’s money went directly to my father when she died, since there was no will. That’s great and appropriate. HOWEVER, my mother would have initially wanted her $ to pass eventually to children/grandchildren etc… when my father passes. But that will not likely happen, as it will go to the next woman my father marries.

          My depressed, disabled and elderly father is now eager to marry soon and is desperate. He will probably marry a woman he secretly had an affair with in the distant past, or honestly… the next willing woman who crosses his past who is willing. Despite his advanced age, severe disability (many medical problems)… it is clear that many women would happily marry him in light of his financial stability. Already, one woman has said she would if he supports her for the rest of her life. I think he has already changed the beneficiaries on one of his retirement accounts to leave to her and they aren’t even together.

          It’s his choice, and he is not legally incompetent. But wow….. I just realize that these things should probably not be decided when you are elderly/ill/depressed, but when you are of sound mind.

          Perhaps I am not understanding things correctly, but maybe the legal eagles can clarify more for us. Why put things in a trust? What should go in the trust? Is my interpretation correct?

          • Blonde Lawyer

            I don’t do probate law but this is my understanding. Lots of things can be left to a beneficiary. You can joint own a checking account or leave your life insurance policy to the person of your choosing. This generally (I think) does not need to be probated. Any asset that can not be set up that way would need to be held in trust to avoid probate. I think it is also a tax planning device. Lastly, it reduces liability. If you are sued and your home is held in trust instead of your name, it is a lot harder to reach it.

  6. KC

    Anyone else feeling a sale overload? It seems there’s a new promotion every time I check my email. I can feel my willpower gradually being worn down…

    • NOLA

      I know – I got the 30% Kate Spade Friends & Family sale notification and then realized that I just can’t buy anything right now that’s not already marked down then sale on top of it. But yeah, makes you not ever want to buy anything full price.

      • Mpls

        It’s the repeated Jcrew promotions that are getting to me. I think they finally wised up to the fact that nobody really buys their stuff at full price, so they run constant promotions – as soon as one ends the next one begins.

          • Anon in NYC

            YES! Me too! I had to tell myself that things will go on sale around the holidays and what I really “need” right now are Wolford tights. Note that “need” is in quotes. Nobody needs Wolford tights. I just want them.

    • Baconpancakes

      It’s a psych marketing tool. Items are actually overpriced because they know that if they price a shirt at $50, you’re less likely to buy it than if they price it at $80 and give you 35% off, bringing the total to $52. The feeling of getting a deal inflates the emotional “value” of the item and overweighs the actual cost.

      That said, I’m waiting for LE to have one of their weekly 30% – 40% off sales to buy the faux wrap dress mentioned yesterday. Anyone busty have this dress and ok to recommend it? http://www.landsend.com/products/womens-34-sleeve-ponte-half-band-wrap-dress/id_257604

      • Anonymous

        +1
        – everything at kohls – always some % off – all the prices have to be inflated

        • KC

          And from the looks of stores like JC Penney, shoppers aren’t a fan of moving away from that model.

      • Stephanie

        Seriously. I do not get why people are still falling for it at Macys. Hello? Every weekend the towels, toasters, and house label sweaters are all “on sale.” Banana Republic and Gap are the worst offenders. Do not ever buy anything there without a 30 or 40% off coupon.

      • L

        I have a faux wrap dress from LE that is very similar; I put a stitch in the neckline to keep it from being too low (so I don’t have to wear a cami) and it’s been perfect ever since.

      • Miz Swizz

        I have the patterned LE faux-wrap dress and it fits me quite well. I have broad shoulders and the stitch to keep it from being too low pulls for me but I wear a cami underneath and all is well.

      • ANP

        Late to the game, but I have this dress in two colors and love it! I often get compliments when I wear them, which is always a nice pick me up :)

    • Bonnie

      I now automatically delete the 25% off promotions from Ann Taylor and Banana since they so often have 40% and even 50% off.

  7. New Girl

    Quick poll – For those of you who shower and blow dry your hair in the mornings, what time are you expected to be at work? How much time do you need from the time your first alarm goes off to when you need to be at work?

    • NOLA

      Our regular work hours start at 8:30 but I usually get here at around 7:30 because I like the quiet time before meetings and classes. I get up at 5:45, play around on my laptop for a few minutes and look at email, get in the shower by about 5:55. I leave for work at about 7:15. But I like to have some time in the morning not to rush through everything.

    • Walnut

      My alarm goes off around 7:10 and I aim to get up by 7:30. I leave the house around 8 to be at my desk by 8:15.

    • lia

      Wow – I’m much slower in the morning. I wake up at 7:30, out of the house around 8:30, at work at 9.

      • WorkingMom

        Yeah, I’m not very fast. I get up either 5am or 5:30am, and am leaving the house by 6:30am, to work by 7 or lately 7:15 depending on construction. (If I get up at 5am I’m leaving by 6, at work by 6:30am, and so on.) So basically an hour to get ready from waking up to walking out the door. Although I did snooze four times this morning…. had a 12 hour day yesterday and I was BEAT! But a PSL perked me right up :)

      • KC

        I’m about the same. Up at 7:30, leaving at 8:30. I shower and dry my hair every morning, but I think the slowest part of my routine is getting dressed. Even when I pick out an outfit the night before I’ll suddenly want to change out the accessories or the shoes and then all of a sudden fifteen minutes have passed.

    • DJC

      My work schedule is very flexible, but I carpool with my husband and he has to be at work by 8 AM sharp. I get up around 6 AM to shower, dry and style hair and get dressed. I’m usually downstairs by 7 AM to feed the cats and get some breakfast ready.

      We usually leave the house around 7:20. It can take 20-30 minutes to get work depending on traffic. I’ll drop my husband off at work and I’ll finish doing my makeup in the car before heading into my building.

    • Lyssa

      I get to work a few minutes before 8 most mornings, but probably push it closer to 8:15 on Wednesdays, which is the day that I wash and blow dry my hair – at least, if I hit snooze and actually try to do a nice blow-out, rather than getting it just dry enough to go out. (Weird aside – pre-pregnancy, I washed my hair every day, absolutely no compromises. Now, it completely doesn’t need it – I wash Sat, Sun, and Wed.) I shower, shave my legs, and put make up on every morning. (Also aside – I have yet to figure out what time I’m expected to get to work. Or what time I’m expected to leave. 8-ish works for me, so I’m sticking to it unless I hear some reason not to.)

      I get up about 5:30 and leave the house about 7:20 most days (a little later if I blow-out). But I also give the baby a bottle/playtime/diaper/snuggles and eat breakfast before I leave, so that takes at least 45 minutes of that time. Actually washing and blowing dry takes about 15 minutes, though it still seems like a major pain to me (hence the fact that I sometimes skip the blow).

    • TBK

      6:30 Alarm goes off. Get up and get in shower.
      6:45 Go downstairs in bathrobe to eat breakfast, make lunch, read news on laptop, and have some time with my dog while my hair partially air dries
      7:15 Back upstairs to put on make up, brush teeth, and dry hair.
      7:30 Bedroom to get dressed and spend 5-10 minutes running around finding a missing shoe, or a particular sweater I forgot I left in my gym bag, etc.
      7:45 Out the door to the Metro.
      8:40ish At my desk.

    • Blair Waldorf

      It takes me a little over an hour to get ready in the morning (including breakfast and coffee at home, and drying and styling my hair). I have to be at work by 9 and my commute is 20-30 minutes.

      I am out of bed by 7:10 every day, and lately it has been closer to 6:10 since I’ve been so busy at work. But 7:10 gives me enough time to get it all done with a little bit of relaxation time.

    • anon

      I’m amazed at people who make it out of their house in under an hour. I don’t blow-dry my hair, I don’t have kids, but it takes me an hour and a half to make coffee, eat breakfast, shower, etc. What am I doing wrong?

      • LilyB

        maybe you take long showers? mine are usually less than 7 minutes. Maybe your makeup routine takes a long time, or maybe you spend a lot of time picking out an outfit? Some suggestions would be showering at night, picking out your outfit at night, setting up the coffee machine before you go to bed.

      • Deep End

        I leave the house in under an hour, but I don’t eat breakfast at home and make my coffee (keurig) and pour it into a thermos that I bring with me to work. I have breakfast and coffee at my desk. My alarm goes off at 7:45. I get up at 8:05 (if I have to blow dry my hair) and 8:15 if not washing my hair. Shower, put on make up, get dressed, go downstairs where I make coffee, pour in thermos and leave for work by 8:45 or 8:50. I’m at work by 9.

        I’ve been trying to get up earlier to work out in the mornings, which I managed to do twice this week. We just moved to where I have an 8 minute commute. I thought cutting my commute would make me get to work earlier, but I’m lazy and I just sleep later.

      • WorkingMom

        Haha, this reminds me of the Seinfeld where Kramer gets a tutorial on faster showers but he can’t get it right and is a mess. Ha! Really though – some people literally just move faster in the morning, I am not one of them!

      • SC

        I can sympathize. I am so slow in the mornings. Most mornings, it takes me an hour and a half to get out the door. The same exact routine takes me 35-40 minutes on Saturdays, after I’ve been up a few hours and have had coffee etc. I’m not sure what I do in the mornings – probably stare into space, wander around distractedly, etc. But I’m just not a morning person. I’ve also been like this my whole life – it used to drive my dad insane when he drove me to school. FWIW, I can get ready more quickly if I have an early meeting or something, but I’m just cranky all day.

      • PolyD

        Happy others are copping to needing> 1hour to get out of the house. I don’t spend a ton of time in the shower and, if pressed, could probably shower and do hair and makeup in about half an hour. But, I like to eat breakfast (usually toast, yogurt, and tea) and I like to sit down and watch the news (mostly to make sure nothing horrid has happened on my commute route) and read a book. I find mornings very peaceful and am in my most optimistic of the day, so I don’t like to give that up.

        So, up around 6:45, out of the door between 8:20 and 8:30, commute is about 30-35 minutes. That gets me in 9ish, and I’m probably in the earlier half of people in my office. No one really cares when you get in, unless you have meetings or are noticeably late (like well after 10 am) all the time.

        • long time lurker

          Yes, me too. I am not a morning person. I don’t have an extensive beauty routine, but I get up at 7:20ish and am out the door by 8:30. I don’t even eat breakfast at home, either. I shower, blow dry my bangs, get dressed, watch a little morning news, walk my dog, maybe load the dishwasher so I don’t see dirty dishes when I come home, pick up around the apartment, etc. I just hate to rush in the morning.

        • WorkingMom

          I bargain with myself – more sleep equals dirty hair – or hair styled/put up wet, or no eye make up, etc. If I get up early (for some odd reason) it’s like a bonus! “Yay! I’ll wear eye make up today!” LOL

      • Stephanie

        I used to be slower before I had kids. Now I am forced to be a model of ruthless efficiency. At the desk by 7:10am, back home by 5 or so. Entire career has been devoted to achieving a 5 minute commute to an in house job.

        • anne-on

          This. My husband who does not have to do the daycare drop-off still putters around the house for an hour and a half in the morning. I’m showered, dressed, hair blown out, makeup on, baby fed/dressed/entertained bags packed and out the door in an hour.

      • Ashley

        Word. But my hair takes a lot longer time to dry than these ladies, I suspect. And I separately style it with the curling wand once its dry. I also cook my breakfast most mornings, so that takes up about 20 minutes or so, too.

    • preg 3L

      I shower & blow dry my hair every morning. When I was working full-time (over the summer), I would get up around 7:15 and leave by 8:30. Shower takes about 10 minutes, hair takes about 10 minutes to blow dry, and I always have breakfast. I just can’t seem to get my act together in the mornings. It’s like I’m always forgetting what I have to do next.

    • marketingchic

      5:45 alarm goes off – usually really get up at 6:00
      7:15 – 7:30 out the door
      7:45 – 8:00 at my desk

      This includes getting 2 little ones ready and fed (tag teaming with my husband on this.) “Real” blow drying with round brush or flatironing after a quick upside-down blowdry only happens about 2 days a week. Low ponytail or optimistically “tousled” (really just messy) on the other days.

    • anon

      For people who wake up at 7 or earlier, what time do you go to bed? If I wake up before 7:30, I’m a zombie all day. I generally go to bed around 10:30 pm. I must just need more sleep than most people.

      • LilyB

        I get up between 7 and 7:30. I’m usually in bed by 10:15 but often don’t fall asleep til 11-11:30 for whatever reason (LGP; reading in bed; worrying about something). Honestly I feel like I could use more than 8 hours but I can’t justify altering my routine to get more sleep because 9 hours feels lazy to me on weeknights.

      • DJC

        Usually 11 to 12 at night. I would love to be upstairs and in bed by 10-10:30, but my husband is a night owl and I end up adjusting to his schedule. Honestly, I’m just used to being tired during the week. My favorite part of the week is turning off the alarm on Friday nights.

      • TBK

        In the past, 11:00 or 11:30 (so about 7 hrs of sleep). These days, absolutely no later than 10:30.

      • marketingchic

        I am a zombie. I try to be asleep by 10, but many days that doesn’t work.

      • CKB

        When I’m running in the morning (awake at 5:10am) I try to have lights off by 9:30-9:45.

        Not running the next morning (awake at 6am)- I try to have lights off by 10:15 or so.

        I shoot for 7-7.5 hours of sleep per night. Less than that too many nights in a row is not pretty.

        • L

          How the heck do you actually get up that early?! It seems so hard considering how cozy bed is right now (dark/cold outside)…

          • Kontraktor

            As an (apparently) early riser also, I guess you just do/just adjust? Or IDK maybe I am predisposed to being able to get up early. Or I need less sleep. not sure. but I mean, if I have to get up at 5, I just get up at 5. I find I can function normally getting up at that hour, but not much earlier. 5 is my limit. We are usually asleep between 10 and 11.

          • Marilla

            Both my husband and I have been having a lot of trouble getting out of bed this week as the mornings get darker and colder. I’m considering buying one of those Philips wake-up light alarm clocks… it seems ridiculous to spend $100+ on an alarm clock when my phone wakes me up for free, but if it works, it may be worth it. My day is so much better when I’m up early and can get to the office by 8, or can spend some time doing things around the house before leaving for work.

          • CKB

            It’s not easy, and I can’t do it every morning, and trust me, those sub freezing mornings are hard to get out the door & hit the pavement (I only run outside & I live in Canada).

            But, I know if I don’t run in the morning it’s not happening that day, and I’ve made running a priority for me – so I just do it.

            I never, ever, ever thought I’d be one to get up before 6am, especially to run (total non-runner 6 years ago), but I realize it’s good for me and I like it, so I’ve made it a priority & I just do it.

          • Equity's Darling

            I hear you Marilla, I’ve been waffling on one of the wake up lights too, but they are a little pricey for something that might not work, and maybe I’d be better off with a SAD light?

            I cannot WAIT for daylight savings to end. Only a few more weeks….

          • Anne

            For the past week, I have been switching on my Phillips Wake-up light alarm clock (I don’t have it on in the summer when it is naturally light almost 24/7) and I can feel the difference in waking up from how I was last week when I didn’t have it on.

            It takes me less time to get to a cognitive state when I am waking up. I like to spend a bit of time in bed before I get up to face the day, but I get going quicker.

          • Anon in NYC

            @Marilla – the Phillips wake up light has made it so much easier to wake up at 6am when it’s pitch black outside.

          • Marilla

            Thanks everyone for chiming in on the wake-up light. I’m leaning more and more towards buying it, given how terrible waking up has been this week (and probably will be until April).

          • ExcelNinja

            to Marilla: try the SleepCycle app if you have an iphone. It really helps me and it’s only $3.

          • WJM-TV

            I’m considering putting my regular lamp on a timer (like the ones for outside Christmas lights) because a) it’s hard to get up in the morning without light blaring on me b) I’m cheap.

      • emily

        I need a lot of sleep. I go to bed between 9:45 and 10 and get up at 6/6:15 every single day, with an occasional (once per two weeks maybe) 9:20-9:30 bedtime if I have too much wine or otherwise get really sleepy.

      • LeeB

        My goal is to be in bed by 9pm, but it usually ends up closer to 9:30. I am up at 5:15am, out the door at 6:30, in the office at 6:45. In the morning I shower, feed the dogs, unload the dishwasher and do a quick scan of emails before I leave the house.

      • WorkingMom

        I get up at either 5 or 5:30 – I should go to bed at about 9. But in reality, it’s more like 10:30pm. During my busy season I’ll sometimes get up as early as 4 a couple of days a week to get a few hours of solid work before people starting coming in and asking me questions! On those days I definitely need to go to bed early.

      • Lyssa

        Bed around 10:30 (actually fall asleep later), up at 5:30. It’s not enough sleep; I’d absolutely grant you that. But I haven’t figured out a good alternative (If get up later, I’d either get less billed or have to leave work later, which would make dinner near impossible (it’s hard enough now) or have less morning time with the baby. If I go to bed earlier, well, the evenings fly by already – I just can’t cut them back any more. I try to catch up on the weekends. We’re considering trying to move closer, which I guess would help, but it would be a hard change.

      • Equity's Darling

        My usual waking time is 7, unlesss I’m going to the gym in the morning, then it’s 5:45. I’m in bed by 10 pretty much every night, though at least once a week I’m tired enough that I go to bed at 9. I love sleep, and my bed, so…the more time in bed, the better, in my opinion.

      • Lynnet

        Up at 6:15 (well, alarm clock goes off at 6:15, usually up at 6:30). Goal is to get in bed by 10:15. My husband and I have started a new system where we get points for going to bed earlier than 10:15, and negative points for going to bed later, with the idea that we get to go to dinner at our favorite expensive restaurant if we accumulate 15 points. We’ve been doing this for two weeks and our total is currently -1….

        To answer the original question, up at 6:15-6:30, I shower every day, wash and blow dry every other day. Eat breakfast (toast with peanut butter and jelly) every morning, out of the house by 7:23 to catch the 7:30 bus, in the office by 8:30. Make-up happens if I have time, which is probably 2 days out of every week, and depends on how long it took me to pick out an outfit, pull together my lunch for work, etc.

      • anne-on

        I’m in bed by 9:45/10, asleep by 10:30 or so? My son doesn’t like to sleep, so a “good” morning is him waking up at 6/6:15, but most days he’s up and ready to go by 5:15/5:30. If I don’t want to fall asleep on the road or be a total mess I just need to get into bed early. I really really wish the kid had inherited my sleep-loving genes.

      • ExcelNinja

        I’m usually in bed by 9 or 9:30 if I’m going to wake up at 6:30 or 7 feeling rested. I need a lot of sleep, even though I’m an active person and allegedly that is supposed to give you more energy. I hate to think how much sleep I’d need without exercise in my life.

      • meara

        Glad there’s someone else who needs lots of sleep! I generally go to bed around 11ish, and get up around 7:30 or 8. Sometimes I go to bed earlier, depends on how tired I am (or if I had to get up early that morning). Occasionally later, if I get caught up in someone being wrong on the internet. :)

        But I am lucky, and either work from home (commute is…walk up stairs, and doesn’t require dry hair), or am traveling, and usually try to stay at a hotel very near where I’m working.

        I’ve tried to work out in the mornings, and it makes me feel good, but somehow that’s very rarely enough to get me out of bed…especially if it’s dark out!

    • LilyB

      I have to be at work by 8:30 and my commute is either 25 minutes (bus) or 35 minutes (walking). I try to walk when the weather is nice.

      I wash my hair every 3 days and it takes about an hour for me to partially air dry, then blow dry, then straighten (iron) out the wavy bits. I wish I could master the blowdry so that I didn’t need to finish with the iron, but still haven’t done that. But I do find that I can blowdry the ends well enough so that they’re bouncy, and then I don’t use the iron on the ends so my hair still has bounce/movement and the ends don’t get fried. I just got my hair cut the other day and my new stylist suggested an easier technique for blowing out my hair which is to do the sides (which are the easiest sections) and then blow all the middle/back sections forward over my forehead as opposed to trying to blow them back, which takes way too much coordination.

      So on the days I need to wash my hair, I try to be in the shower no later than 7 so I can be out the door by 8. But really I hate having to blowdry my hair in the morning, it’s too stressful, so I normally do that at night.

    • CKB

      I’m jealous of everyone who doesn’t start work at 8am. I only dry my bangs in the morning – I let my curls air dry. My non-running mornings look like this:

      6am – alarm goes off. I check email, read blogs or whatever & fully wake up
      6:15 – shower, dress, hair, makeup, etc
      6:45-6:50 – make youngest 2 sons’ lunches, get my breakfast, lunch, snacks etc packed
      7:00 – out the door to the train
      7:50 – at my desk

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      I have zero routine like this. My ‘official’ starting time is 9.30, but it can be anything between 8-10 depending on how busy I am or whether I have meetings and how late I was working the night before. It tends to be later on days I have to wash my hair, because I don’t want to get up earlier. I’m also a pathological snoozer, but on average my alarm goes off between 7-7.30.

      I wash my hair every 2-3 days and on the days I do, I have to add about 20 minutes to getting-ready time. It usually takes me about 45 minutes (but sometimes more if I’m faffing around) from getting up. If I’m not washing my hair, I can be out of the house in half an hour after getting up.

      My routine involves make-up every day and never breakfast at home – I started eating at work after I realised how much time it adds to my morning to eat anything at home, I’d rather get up and get out because I don’t like waking up early!

      • Traditionalist

        Are you me? This is precisely my current schedule, every single thing about it.

        Any deviation I have come from working out… I’m trying to start working out some mornings and getting up earlier but no routine on that yet. Right now I work out in the evenings and sometimes wash my hair at night so I can just finish blow-drying in the morning to save time.

        I’m also sure I will not have such a flexible start time forever, so I will have to adjust when that day comes. But for now it’s amazing!

    • Kontraktor

      I guess I am an early bird! Normally I am up around 5 or 510, and I like to get to work by 7, sometimes 630 or so. My ‘normal’ start time is 8, but I rarely am in that late. It takes me anywhere from 45 to 90 minutes to get ready, depending on if hubs and I make a smoothie for breakfast and how difficult my hair is being (I’m growing it out and have pretty much worn it up in a bun every day for last a long time, but even that is dicey sometimes). Normally, I’d say my break down is 10-15 minutes to brush teeth/wash face or shower/etc, 10-15 minutes for makeup, 10-20 minutes for hair (I never wash and blow dry in the mornings, just style), and then 10-20 minutes for smoothie.

    • amelia earhart

      First alarm goes off at 6:15, next alarm goes off at 6:20. I’m out of the shower by 6:29 and snuggle with my St. Bernard until 6:34. I can do this because I usually know what I’m going to wear the night before, and dresses are my favourites, even on weekends, so outfits are relatively simple. I get dressed and back in the bathroom to dry my hair (which is a pixie cut), moisturize, eyeline, and mascara and I’m out the door between 6:48 and 6:50. I have, roughly, a 40 minute commute and am usually at my desk by 7:30, 7:32 at the latest.

      I live in the Buffalo area, so this changes in the Winter when driving conditions are worse. :)

      • Walnut

        I’m in love with your morning snuggles with the dog. I bet it’s a mutually cherished routine.

      • anon

        Love this! My dog routine is similar, especially now that my big dog is older, she sleeps on her own bed, but crawls up to the big bed after I’m out of the shower for a little morning snuggling, and is happy to wait patiently there til I’m dressed and ready for her walk!

    • anonymous

      My first call is at 8am, so I have to be ready no matter where I am. A fancy hairdryer has really helped with the process. I wake up at 6:10, turn on shower, quickly glance at e-mail, shower, towel-dry hair, keep hair in towel, moisturize face, make coffee, makeup, hair out of towel, quickly blast hair all over with hairdryer and then actually style and blowdry, get dressed, pack bag. I try to leave at 6:50. I eat a banana or something else in the car or grab breakfast after 8am call. My commute is 9 miles but it takes about 40 mins whether I metro or drive.

    • Anonymous

      I finish my workout at 7:15 and am at my desk by 8. It takes 5 minutes to get from my gym to my office.

    • snowy

      jealous of all the short commutes!

      I actually take the same amount of time regardless of blow dry. If I’m working out, I get up at 5:45 and work out til 6:30; not working out, just get up at 6:30. Showering/skin care routine takes me like 10 minutes. I towel dry, brush, towel dry again, and put my hair up in a towel while I get ready. I then try to let my hair air dry while I’m dealing with the cat, recycling, mail or whatever else needs to get out the door that morning, and making my lunch. Some days I scarf down cereal but most days I take yogurt and granola for the train. By the time I go to blow dry, it takes me 5 minutes (I do have very long hair, but it’s straight and fine).

      On non-blow-dry days, I spend the same time (5 min) dry shampooing, maybe flatironing, or working on an updo if that’s what my hair looks like it needs- so fussing w/ hairspray and bobby pins. I try to leave at 7:15; if I leave at 7:2o I am literally running from my car to the train. I get to the office at 8:45.

    • bridget

      If I want to linger over my coffee, I wake up around 8:00. Then I get in the shower at about 8:20 (takes ~12 minutes), then my makeup/teeth/contacts/dressing routine is another 10-15 minutes, and then I blow dry my hair for about 3-4 minutes. I try to leave around 8:50-9:15. I have a 10-12 minute walk to work, and I’m expected to be there around 9/9:30.

      Obviously this may be unusual, because I have fine, straight hair so it blow dries very quickly, and I am very lucky to have an awesome commute.

    • ExcelNinja

      So, I’m pretty lazy with my long and wavy hair (I just put some leave-in treatment in it and let it air-dry), but I think this thread is fun so I’m answering anyway :)

      Usually alarm is set for 6:30 and I snooze til 7. Then up and shower while dh goes and starts omelettes for breakfast. I’m out of the shower, lotioned, and dressed in bike clothes about 10 mins before the omelettes are ready, during which time I make lattes. then we have breakfast together and chat or listen to the radio until around 8:15, at which time I go and gather my laptop and work clothes for the day. usually leave on my bike around 8:30 and arrive at work 8:45, then change and am at my desk or first meeting by 9.

      there are days when all of this goes to pot of course – I had a coffee at 4 yesterday and so of course couldn’t get to sleep until midnight, so slept until 8 this morning, at work by 9:40.

    • Samantha

      I love reading the responses to this question!
      I wake up at 5:15 (alarm at 5), and take exactly 40 minutes to get ready. This includes 20 mins in the kitchen and 20 mins showering and grooming. Kitchen time includes making and drinking coffee, packing bottles for my kid in the fridge and often a quick to-go breakfast like a poached egg or toast.
      Getting ready time includes showering (I leave my clothes out the previous night) brushing and throwing on my clothes. If I have an extra 5 minutes I wear my BB cream, if not I do that and eyeliner/lipstick at work. If I have an extra 10 mins I unload the dishwasher as well.

      I take the train into work and get into work at 7:15, so 2 hours from the moment I wake up.

    • Anon

      Wow.. I am SLOW.

      5:15 First Alarm
      5:30 Get up, get in shower
      5:50 Eat breakfast in towel while hair starts to dry
      6:10 Make-up (still in towel)
      6:30 Dry hair
      6:45 Curl hail
      7:00 Get dressed
      7:15 leave house
      7:45 arrive at desk (approx 2.5 hrs after first alarm)

      Maybe I should look into speeding this up a little..

      • Gail the Goldfish

        Don’t feel bad, I’m just as slow. My alarm goes off at 7:20 and I don’t usually get out of the apartment until 8:45 or 8:50, and I don’t even wash my hair in the morning. I usually get to work between 9:30-9:45 depending on how slow the subway is feeling that morning.

      • anon

        Um, I am super slow. My alarm goes off at 5:45am. Out of bed by 6:15ish. Breakfast, gym, shower, hair makeup. Out the house between 9:05-9:22 (I time it to public transportation). And I normally don’t make it into the office until 9:45. I try to be in bed by 10, but rarely manage before 10:30. Try to be lights off by 10:45…but it all depends on how late I worked the night before. This thread is making me realize I really need to get more sleep/no wonder I’m falling asleep at my desk right now.

    • big dipper

      Alarm goes off t 8, out of bed at 8:15, and I’m at work by 9:30.

      8:15 – 8:25 shower
      8:25 – 8:35 – pick up stuff around the apartment, put away dishes, etc.
      8:35 – 8:45 – blow dry hair
      8:45 – 8:50 – makeup
      8:50 – 8:55 – get dressed
      9:00 – leave house
      9:25 – get to desk

    • PinkKeyboard

      I shower the night before because my hair would take 30-40 minutes to blowdry if I did it right after my shower ( a ton of hair).
      5:00-5:10 lay in bed and be sad about waking up
      5:10-5:20 blowdry hair
      5:20-5:30 straighten/curl hair
      5:30-5:45 makeup
      5:45-5:55 get dressed
      5:55-6:05 feed cats
      6:05-6:20 pack husbands lunch/my lunch/my breakfast
      6:20-6:30 let dog out/give dog pills
      6:30-7:15/7:30 drive to work
      7:15-7:30 arrive at work

    • Kate

      My work arrival time is flexible. Most people arrive between 9 and 10:30. I try to get in by 9 or 9:30. (we make up for it with late hours at night — NYC BigLaw — e.g. Last night I left the office at 2:30 am.) I take 30-45 minutes to get ready and have a 10-15 minute commute from my door to my desk (depending on the subway). On gym days, alarm is set for 6:15, get up at 6:30, put in contacts/brush teeth/put on gym clothes/pack bag with work clothes, out the door by 7, at gym at 7:15, work out until 8:15, shower (7 min) dry hair (10 min), put on makeup (10 min), get dressed and pack bag (10 min), leave gym around 9, work at 9:15. Non-gym days I set alarm for 8, up at 8:15, then same schedule as in gym locker room. I’m working in trying to get up earlier on non-gym days, but if I get up early enough I would always rather have a work out. If I work super late everything gets pushed back an hour and I get in at 10:15 or 10:30. I eat breakfast at work (we have a cafe) and buy it on the way in.

    • Fiona

      I am a zombie in the morning.

      Weekdays, the alarm goes off at 6 a.m. If I need to wash my hair I go straight into the shower, otherwise snooze for 20 minutes. Out of bed/out of the shower and blow-dried by 6:20, and then proceed to do nothing for 45 minutes. Email, internet, ponder what I’m going to wear, sip the coffee my husband made while I was snoozing/showering. Around 7:10 my brain clicks on and I’m ready to face the day. Dressed, make up on, lunch packed, keys-phone-wallet-coffee in hand, and shooing the kid out to the car by 7:35. Drop the kid at school on my way and I’m at my desk between 8:20 and 8:30, depending on traffic.

      I’ve tried setting the alarm later, thinking hey, why am I getting up so early when I can do my entire morning routine in half an hour, but it doesn’t work. I just really need that hour or so of staring into space in the morning.

      My husband is a saint…he puts up with this from me while he makes the coffee, feeds the cats, and supervises the kid’s breakfast/dressing routine. Every. Day. I heart him.

  8. Dog food

    This is way off topic but here goes: what brand of dog food should I feed my dog? The vet says “whatever” but I’m sure at least one of you has done research on the matter.

    • Anon

      On both my vet’s recommendation and my own research, we feed our dog and cat Royal Canin brand dry food. Dog gets breed-specific, cat gets “light” version as she tends towards the zaftig.

    • emeralds

      I did a fair amount of research before I picked a brand, and while I’m no expert, I believe you should just be looking for foods without a lot of unpronounceable chemicals and fillers, where protein sources (typically meat or meat meal–I know some people are weird about meal, but my vet told me it’s fine; it contains ground bones and organs, which is completely okay for dogs) are the first couple of ingredients. I also found the salespeople at Petco to be surprisingly good resources; obviously this could be hit or miss, but the people at mine were really knowledgeable and helpful.

      I’ve used a couple of different brands, because my dog can be picky and seems to get sick of eating the same food at 6-7 months. So if you’re looking for specific brands, she’s on Nutro Ultra now, but has loved Wellness Core in the past. I switched to Nutro because it’s slightly cheaper and she has no problem with grains. YMMV.

      • WorkingMom

        Yes – Also, avoid the word “byproduct” in the ingredient listing. If you see that (usually “chicken byproduct” or something similar), but it back and find a different one.

    • LilyB

      I’ve heard Science Diet and Canidae are pretty good and don’t have as many of the fillers that most brands have.

      • Anonymous

        No no no, Science Diet is TERRIBLE. Vets only recommend it because they make money selling it. Vets actually get zero nutrition training in school.

        • Kontraktor

          We use Nutro for our cats and they have great coats/no health problems. I think Nutro is a good balance between quality and price.

    • mascot

      Does your dog have any health/nutrition concerns? Senior, overweight, underweight, working dog, allergies, etc? One of my dogs has allergies and I am particular about what they eat. We feed limited ingredient, grain free food (Wellness Core Ocean right now). I’d do some reading on a site like DogFoodAdvisor to get a sense of what are high quality ingredients and what aren’t. Most of the grocery store brands and Science Diet have corn and junk ingredients. Higher end dog food costs more, but you feed less and dogs generally produce less waste on them. We also add fish oil capsules to our dogs food and it cuts down on shedding and itching. Aside from the allergies, they are both pretty healthy and have nice looking coats.

      • emeralds

        Fish oil can cut down on shedding? I’ve heard it’s good for skin, but I have a shedmonster/fluffball (Siberian husky) and would love something that could maybe minimize the 6-inch balls of hair I brush off of her 3 times a week…I will look into this.

    • gigi

      Have you been going to this vet for a while? It would annoy me that his/her response was “whatever.” Not all dog foods are created equal. Just like with humans, what your dog eats affects his health, coat, energy, etc.

      We feed our dog Taste of the Wild. We’ve experimented with Blue Buffalo and another brand, but TOW has been the best for our pup. It’s not cheap. But it’s grain free and made with high quality ingredients. His coat is gorgeous (not that I’m biased), and we do almost zero grooming.

      When he was a young puppy, we had trouble putting weight on him. The vet asked us what we were feeding him and when we told her 5 cups of TOW each day, her response: Wow, that’s basically the best dog food he could be eating. You may have to add some people food to get his weight up. (We did supplement for a little while with yogurt, chicken, etc. but now he’s just on the kibble and doing great.)

      It comes in a bunch of different flavors (venison, salmon, etc.), which keeps our guy interested.

      • Dog food

        Gigi, I am not going back to that vet, but I don’t see a need to meet the new vet before our pup’s next annual checkup (unless there’s a problem before then). Yes, I was annoyed but I was annoyed about other things too and didn’t push it because I knew I was never going back.

      • Anonymous

        Cats here, but when I started feeding our cat grainfree pricey food, his dandruff immediately went away. It was too late for him to avoid IBD, but I’ll take what I can get. I’m convinced.

      • Bean

        Ditto Taste of the Wild (salmon flavor) for one dog (our other is on a home cooked diet bc of kidney disease). We’ve also used Merrick and Wellness and been pleased with those. It can be really helpful to go to the pet store and just compare ingredients and levels (protein, etc.) in some different brands. We found that they vary wildly — even in different flavors for the same brand. Good luck — sometimes I think my pups eat better than I do!

      • anon

        My aunt (who is a vet) recommended we use the Costco brand (Kirkland) dog food for a healthy middle-aged dog (not a puppy or a senior).

      • Anonymous

        Agreed. We have two very active 80 pound dogs, one who is still growing, and at one point were spending more on pet food than on groceries. Then we did some research and learned that the Costco dog food is identical to some of the premium brands, but much, much cheaper. We bought a Costco membership just for that reason, and it paid for itself the first week. FWIW, we haven’t noticed any differences in our dogs’ coats, energy levels, etc since switching, except that our older dog doesn’t like the taste as much and takes a little more time to eat his meals than he used to.

        • TBK

          Yeah, my dog’s not a fan of the food. When we run out and supplement with supermarket brands for a week or so until our next CostCo run, he just mows through the food. I guess it’s like Lucky Charms vs the healthy stuff your mom actually wants you to eat.

      • Trixie

        Hmm, my cats get Wellness brand but I am intrigued that there is a Costco grain-free food, at least for dogs. I will have to investigate if there is one for cats! The kitties love the Wellness food and are happy / healthy / shiny but it’s so expensive!

        • Bonnie

          My cats love the Costco brand cat food. I was worried that I’d get stuck with a huge bag but they devoured it.

    • TravelMoreRoads

      We have had great success with Fromm’s for years now (they have regular and grain-free) and we have both a picky eater and a sensitive stomach w/ our two pups. Btw, if anyone else has a pup with sensitive stomach and/or that eats too fast, steel ball in the food bowl, elevated food bowl, and tiny bit of water added to dry food have worked wonders for us. Also, Nina Ottosson puzzles are amazing and our pups love them – get plastic ones, easier to clean.

    • EB

      I’ve done some research about it, but there is so much conflicting information it got overwhelming. We feed our dog Nutro Natural Choice and really like it. I had her on a Kirkland brand food and it did not agree with her at all. Just this morning, a vet friend recommended Royal Canin. I’ve never used it, but may check it out if our dog needs a change.

    • Vesper

      If anyone’s really interested in this, read Marion Nestle’s book Feed Your Pet Right. We have cats not dogs, but I have no problem with food containing some meat by-products (i.e. first ingredient is real meat, by-products somewhere down the list). I’m a vegetarian, and while my cats clearly aren’t, I’d much prefer to minimize the ethical and environmental issues associated with our current agricultural system. I’m all in favor of making efficient use of waste products- this has long been the way that cats and dogs were domesticated, feeding off our scraps. Wild cats and dogs will eat nearly all of their prey animal (including bones in small rodents), and the organs contain important nutrients.

    • Anon in NYC

      We feed my dog a mix of Honest Kitchen (dehydrated – add hot water and let it steep for 5 mins) and Solid Gold (dry food). We were feeding her another brand for years (which she loved), but in the last year she started getting chronic (practically monthly) ear infections and UTIs. The vet said to change up her food, and lo and behold they disappeared. My aunt treats her dogs better than most people treat their significant others, and has done a lot of research on holistic dog care. She recommended Honest Kitchen, but because it’s soft we decided to add the Solid Gold (a brand that one of these holistic dog food books recommended if we “had” to feed our dog commercial dog food instead of making our own from scratch).

      • FormerDCgal

        We do Blue Buffalo and my pup loves it. I did research after thinking Purina was a good brand and heard from someone it’s basically a Snickers bar. I’ve read great things about Blue Buffalo, Wellness, and Castor & Pollux.

    • PinkKeyboard

      The dog eats nutro natural choice grain free in either the venison or herring flavors. It isn’t top of the line but it’s pretty good and most importantly… she has very touchy dog food digestion and this is the ONLY food (Ellen caps necessary) that never gives her diarrhea. With an 80lb dog diarrhea is very very traumatic for everyone. We mix a small can of cat food in with it because she is very picky and will starve herself for up to a week with dry food only. The cats both eat origen dry in either the chicken or fish flavors. It’s very pricy but one of the best foods out there, they love the taste, and it comes in bulk (4 cats). Be careful about the science diet or royal canin vet recommendations.. they tend to be sponsored and the ingredients are not top notch considering the pricing (this should also affect your view of your vet).

  9. anonymous for this one

    Follow up to my question yesterday for how to get through the waiting game when TTC – thank you for the suggestions and advice! I did go ahead and test, and got a negative, which wasn’t that surprising (I still had hope I could just be testing too early), but then cramps started a couple of hours later. Sigh. At least now I can drink the cider and pumpkin beer I have waiting for me in the fridge!

  10. Anonymous

    Every month just before my period, I get paranoid that all my friends and family hate me, and only spend time with me out of pity, and so I get a little reclusive for a week or so. Does anyone else get weird recurring thoughts like this, or should I be talking to my doctor about it?

    • PolyD

      I sink into the depths of despair during my period week (I’m on the pill). It’s “normal,” but there are probably things you can do to alleviate it. If you are on the pill, different formulations can have a greater or lesser effect on mood swings. I found that the triphasics were really bad for me, mood-wise. I was taking Yasmin, which I really liked, no mood swings, no cramps, etc., but apparently there are blood clotting issues associated with it, so my doctor took me off and gave me another pill with a similar, but slightly different formulation. My mood swings are somewhat worse and I think when I first started the new pills they made me gain about 5 pounds, but that also might have been due to holiday/winter eating, because those are gone now.

      TL:DR – mood swings (including paranoia and despair) around your period are totally normal, but there are things you can do for them.

      • Mpls

        Eh…I would say that it’s not uncommon, but not so normal that I would ignore it. I would definitely mention it to your doctor. And I concur with the advice below – set a reminder to yourself about your cycle so that you have some sort of outside perspective on your mental state.

    • k-padi

      I would talk to your doctor. If you are on hormonal BC, it might be the hormones in that formulation.

      I’ve found this site helpful when talking to my doctor (who asked for a copy herself because she didn’t have this info!):

      http://www.wdxcyber.com/ncontr13.htm

      • OP

        I have been on the pill in the past – both Yasmin and Alesse, and both led to serious depression for me, so we use condoms now (not ideal, but better for my mental health).

        • PMDD

          I used to use BC, which helped my moods, but now that I’m not on those anymore, I found I have really bad mood swings — to the point I’ve been diagnosed with PMDD. Your OB-GYN should be able to determine if this is what you’re going through. You might benefit from a low dose of an antidepressant. (Then again, I’m not a doctor…)

        • Walnut

          The bajillion types of BC I tried either made me batshit crazy, depressed, caused blood clots or caused weight gain. I’m now one year into NFP and I will never look back.

    • Anne Shirley

      I do. For a while I took monophasic birth control, which helped. My doctor suggested Paxil, but I thought that was overkill for me since it was just 2 days a month. Now, 10 years later, I find my PMS generally isn’t as bad. I’m also much better about calendaring my period. Like, setting an outlook reminder that “Its PMS time! Your life doesn’t really suck”. Works decently well for me, but if it’s having a negative impact on your life there are certainly options that are worth discussing with your doctor.

    • Susedna

      I’ve never experienced what you described, but are you om hormonal birth control? If so, that’d be a question for the doctor. I know people who’ve switched that around and gotten better results.

      For me, my PMS symptoms are extreme, persistent hunger. I just give myself a free pass to eat whatever and then I return to normal appetite levels once the period starts. So, certainly a lot less disconcerting than what you describe.

    • Blue

      Seriously get it checked out if you’re on hormonal birth control. I ignored these kinds of symptoms for too long and it turned into pretty serious depression.

    • Jenna Rink

      Are you using a generic birth control? I was on the generic Yazmin for a few months and I felt like I was losing my mind whenever I was PMSing. It was to the point where I took sick days because I couldn’t handle interacting with people. Once I switched to the non-generic I was fine. I’ve switched to Nuvaring since then, and I have basically no emotional PMS on it.

    • Anne

      I get seriously sensitive about things just before my period is due. This summer I applied for a job that I wasn’t really sure I wanted, and got a very polite rejection letter – just in that week before the period was due. I teared up at my desk. And… that was even as I knew that I didn’t really want the job.

      I have come to realize that I do get down before my period is due (not on birth control) and having a bit of up and down in life is okay – since I also know I snap out of it once the period arrives and have crazy much energy then.

    • Pink

      Yup! I find myself irritated at the world, convinced everything sucks and just mad! about everything! Then when I have a moment, of, hmm, this doesn’t usually annoy me, I figure out what’s going on. Although sometimes, it won’t be until I get my period that I figure it out.

    • anonz0rz

      The only time DH and I ever fight is 1-3 days before my period. I get crazy about stupid stuff (“It’s your turn to chop the peppers!”) which inevitably turns into a yelling match and then I realize what time of the month it is. It’s incredibly annoying to be at the whim of my hormones and I’m seriously considering going back on HBC because of it (currently on non-hormonal IUD).

  11. Famouscait

    I just found out that my best friend’s husband was arrested recently on several hundred counts of child pornography and sexual assault against a child under 12. They have two children under 5. Can anyone please offer me any guidance on how to be supportive in this sickening situation? She and I live several states away. I am speechless and horrified and have no idea how to react or what to do.

    • Anon

      I think a call where you say “What do you need from me? How I can I help – how can I support you?” is probably all you can do. Because holy eff.

      • L

        +100.

        Also, if you can afford it maybe volunteer to fly her and the kids out/you fly out there. She may just want to get away for a bit.

      • Anon

        +1 And keep calling. Contact her as frequently as you normally would – don’t be a friend who offers help in the beginning and then drifts off. Give her the opportunity to talk about it if she wants to, but don’t grill her about it. She may just want to talk about normal topics with you to get a break from thinking about the situation.

        Second the “holy eff.” Wow, that is awful.

      • emeralds

        Agree with this. I have nothing else to add, except, holy h*ll. What a horrible situation. I’m so sorry your friend is going through this.

    • ITDS

      I think the first rule of being supportive in this situation is to not vilify her husband. The justice system and her local community will take care of that, and you can provide (especially from a distance) a safe ear who won’t “concern troll” or judge her.

      • mascot

        +1. I imagine that she has a lot of guilt going on to (how did I not know, how can part of me still love part of him, who to believe, are the kids ok, etc)

        • Famouscait

          This is helpful. It’s my intent to be this way but I’m so afraid I’m going to say something wrong inadvertently. Without even knowing what that is. Holy eff indeed.

      • Anon in NYC

        Agreed. I have a distant family relative who was in your friend’s shoes. She beat herself up enough without having everyone else pile on.

      • Susedna

        Yup, this, and I think he’s only been arrested, not convicted so it’s good to keep an open mind about his possible guilt/innocence.

    • mascot

      Oh no. That’s horrible. I think all you can do is call and ask what you can do. I can’t imagine what she is going through emotionally.

    • Stephanie

      OMG. I would call her and offer to help, but include some specifics– does she need help finding an attorney or other resources, does she need help moving out, changing the locks, getting a restraining order, watching the kids, etc. Try to be non-alarmist and calm.

    • CKB

      Yes, call her, ask what you can do, and keep in touch maybe even more frequently now than you have in the past. What an awful, awful thing for her to be going through. She’ll probably need your support so much, not only because of the situation itself, but who knows what kind of repercussions will come to her socially due to this. I knew of a family who had to deal with the dad having s3x with a minor foster daughter in a small town & the backlash against the wife, who was reeling from the situation herself, was awful. Hopefully your friend doesn’t go through something similar, but you never know.

      You are a good friend wanting to be there for her.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      If this is federal and he has a bail hearing she is going to be interviewed by a federal probation officer. They will want to know what his post arrest living situation is going to be, if there will be anyone there to monitor his actions, if she (if they stay together) will agree to the bail conditions (often no firearms or alcohol in the house.) It is nice to know these questions are coming and not have to make a decision on the spot. She can also change her mind too. (Like if she says, yes, he can keep living here and then decides she doesn’t want that anymore. But, it may have an impact on his bail situation at that time.) The same thing will happen, if convicted around sentencing time. If you can be checking in with her around these times I’m sure she would appreciate it. You can also give her a heads up about what kinds of things she may be asked.

  12. TravelMoreRoads

    We have had great success with Fromm’s for years now (they have regular and grain-free) and we have both a picky eater and a sensitive stomach w/ our two pups. Btw, if anyone else has a pup with sensitive stomach and/or that eats too fast, steel ball in the food bowl, elevated food bowl, and tiny bit of water added to dry food have worked wonders for us. Also, Nina Ottosson puzzles are amazing and our pups love them – get plastic ones, easier to clean.

      • Anon

        We had this problem with food. We flipped over our dog bowl and poured the food into the brim. You know how a lot of metal and plastic dog food bowls have essentially a tented edge? I’m not explaining this well. But I bet you could do the same with water. The dog basically had to wedge her face into the curved space on the underside of the bowl and chase the food around, and it slowed her down a lot.

        Otherwise, you could try one of those running water bowls so he can only drink the water as fast as it comes out. Or just switch to a tiny water bowl that has to be refilled.

      • PinkKeyboard

        They make giant hamster style water dispensers for dog crates, one of those (mounted to the wall?) might work. I imagine it’s really hard to drink fast from them and the huge ones would hold as much as a water bowl.

      • TravelMoreRoads

        Hmm our dog did that every once and awhile, actually I almost forgot she did, but have you tried doing an elevated bowl for water too? Because now that I think about it, she hasn’t done that since we got the bowl stand setup. Look for something so that pup’s neck is level while eating/drinking. We also had to feed her ice chips a couple times when she was sick so she was “drinking” slowly. Hope that helps, poor pup.

  13. anonymous

    Would this dress be inappropriate for a female lawyer at a business-casual firm? (link to follow). It’s a shift dress with a peter pan collar and a cat pattern (from anthropologie). Biglaw, NYC, mid-twenties.

      • Killer Kitten Heels

        Your link isn’t working for me, but Peter Pan collar + cat print = a resounding no for NYC Biglaw for me. It’s too quirky/cute/Zooey Deschanel. Especially as a young, female associate, I think you want to avoid anything that looks too little-girlish or unserious.

    • Anon

      Your link isn’t working for me, but assuming this is the Chaton Shift – not appropriate. The combination of the print, peter pan collar, and sleeveless makes me think of an adorable toddler sundress. Also – the regular length is only 34 inches, so it will be way too short on everyone but the very petite among us.

      Weekend only, if you buy it.

      • ADS

        Peter Pan collars look childish, and combined with the print, really like a little kid’s dress. At least the model isn’t posed in that annoyingly childish pigeon-toed stance, or worse, the squatting — ooh, mommy, I need to pee– stance I see in too many fashion magazines.

    • Alanna of Trebond

      Eh, I think it’s work appropriate. I would wear it with tights and a blazer.

      • Killer Kitten Heels

        Work appropriate, in a general sense, maybe, but NYC Biglaw? Really?

        • Alanna of Trebond

          NYC Biglaw is less conservative than you think it is. I would be more concerned about wearing it to my government job in DC.

          • Killer Kitten Heels

            I’ve been in NYC Biglaw myself, so I’m not some bumpkin basing my knowledge of the industry on Miranda in S*x and the City. I’ve worked for two different firms myself, have friends in several others, and have visited plenty of offices in the course of networking/depositions/meetings/pro bono partnership stuff. With the exception of one office (which has a “wear whatever the heck you want, whenever you want” dress code that is a well-known point of pride for the firm), I have not yet encountered a firm where this particular look would fly (especially given the length). I could possibly see the print by itself (especially in a conservative-cut shirt) working, or a Peter Pan collar by itself working (although I personally hate them and think they infantilize the wearer), but this particular short/shapeless/hipster combo just seems way too juvenile for an attorney, whatever the dress code.

          • ezt

            I agree with Alanna, I’m former Biglaw NYC. Not my personal taste but wouldn’t have blinked if I saw someone wearing that with tights and blazer (assuming it wasn’t crazy short on them and they didn’t wear, like, cat earrings or cutesy accessories). Obviously not for court or client meetings, but for a day in the office, I have seen and worn outfits much more casual that that. Just goes to show that firms vary, I suppose.

  14. preg 3L

    Tech update: No problems at all today and I’m really enjoying how I never have to manually refresh the page. I’m using IE.

  15. anon

    Can I vent? I’m an almost-second-year associate in a corporate transactional practice in Biglaw (though not in a major city). I am so sick of making closing binders, charts, timelines, etc. Does it get any better? I don’t mind due diligence review, but I absolutely dread making closing binders. When do all of the mundane, mind-numbing tasks end?

    • Cat

      short answer? as the normal associate aging process continues, assuming you’re doing a good job, you’ll inherit the “real” work as people leave and the work trickles down.

      proactive answer? ask the senior associate on the deal if you can listen on calls (even if you can’t bill for them and are sitting silently), and ask if there are any drafting projects you could prepare, encouraging people to use you for substantive work (although it will be augmenting, not substituting, for the “keeping track of ALL THE PAPERS” work while you’re a junior).

    • MJ

      My honest answer to this is….it depends on your group, it depends on your firm and it depends on your abilities.

      For instance, do you work for work hoarders who have trust issues and can only delegate things which are not deal-critical/time sensitive (e.g. closing binders–someone wants them, but generally not super-high priority).

      Does your firm generally give baby associates substantive work, or do they treat them as disposable and hope that you stick around until your third year or so? Have you spoken with other folks who are at your class year who are getting more substantive work than you? If they are, do you think this is because they work for different associates/partners, are “better” than you, or ??? Have you been making mistakes or portraying that you think you are “better” than this admin work to people who dole out the assignments or people who have the ear of the folks that dole out assignments?

      Do some digging. In most biglaw groups that don’t have really stellar corporate paralegals, first and second years do mostly administrative stuff. By your third year, you should be getting more interesting projects.

      Also, note that you need to do all of the mind-numbing stuff perfectly, with a smile. You will definitely not be given more mission-critical work if you are a whiner or drama-queen or making mistakes on the easy stuff.

      Think of it as a game that you have to graduate from. It’s not glam, but it does get more interesting…just not for another year or so, typically, unless you’re really stellar or your firm really gives a lot of responsibility to juniors.

  16. Ashley

    Could not comment at all yesterday. Continually stuck in moderation today.

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