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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Fox V-Neck Wool-Crepe Pencil Dress

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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. British brand Goat is new(ish) to me, and I think it's a great option if you like other UK brands like The Fold or L.K. Bennett or Reiss — it has a lot of the same sophisticated-but-interesting styling. I like this basic pencil dress in a bright, happy red for spring and early summer. You could wear it with light blue — and don't forget how well a leopard print accent pairs with red. I like the button-embellished belt, and overall it just feels like a really cool dress that you could get a lot of wear out of. It's $567 at Matches in sizes 6–18 (UK). Fox V-Neck Wool-Crepe Pencil Dress Two more affordable options are at Amazon and Lord & Taylor, and a plus-size option is at ASOS. This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 1/22/25:

  • Nordstrom – Cashmere on sale; AllSaints, Free People, Nike, Tory Burch, and Vince up to 60%; beauty deals up to 25% off
  • AllSaints – Clearance event, now up to 70% off (some of the best leather jackets!)
  • Ann Taylor – All sale dresses $40 (ends 1/23)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything
  • Boden – Clearance, up to 60% off!
  • DeMellier – Final reductions now on, free shipping and returns — includes select options like Montreal, Vancouver, and Venice
  • Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; extra 50% off all clearance, plus ELOQUII X kate spade new york collab just dropped
  • Everlane – Sale of the year, up to 70% off; new markdowns just added
  • J.Crew – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 50% off cashmere
  • J.Crew Factory – End of season sale, extra 60-70% off clearance, online only
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale – extra 50% off

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

289 Comments

  1. Cute pencil dress! I wish I had the figure to wear this one?. Next year I’m going to stay away from the pasta!

  2. Partner and I are looking towards marriage and discussing ring options. I don’t care about having a traditional diamond engagement ring and wedding band but I do want to wear a ring that represents our relationship and will last a lifetime. I’m a huge fan of opals but I don’t know how durable they are. Any ideas from the hive?
    Also I hate how often I’ve seen people turn up their noses at non-diamond rings as the “cheap” option. It shouldn’t bother me, but it does. I don’t want people to think I chose my ring as some kind of non-diamond consolation prize.

    2. Fwiw I think non-diamonds are very trendy now. Many people consider them prettier and more ethical. The majority of my friends have non-diamond stones and no one looks down on them as being cheap.

      1. Second – I have one friend with a beautiful ruby engagement ring, and another with a black sapphire – I wouldn’t bat an eye at a non-diamond ring! I have a friend who has a moissanite ring that I know they chose because it looks like a diamond, but was less expensive (but if I didn’t KNOW it wasn’t a diamond, I wouldn’t be able to tell). You do you!

        1. But also, moissanites are from outer space, which makes them even more awesome than diamonds.

    3. If you want something that ‘represents’ the relationship, is there a stone that is connected to some aspect of it? One that’s from a place you met or fell in love? Do you share a birthday stone? Or maybe your mothers share a birth stone? Or maybe the birthstone from the month you met or had your first date or when he proposed? Sapphires are also nice because they symbolize friendship which is key in any marriage. With opals I would worry about durability for everyday wear but no direct experience. I went with a diamond because I’m pretty traditional but I have a diamond from Canada because I wanted to be 100% sure there was no risk that I ended up with a blood diamond. And based on the lack of strigency in the Kimberly process, I was only comfortable with Canadian diamonds.

      1. Yeah, I told Mr. Lana that if he tried to propose to me with a ring that had financed a genocide I would turn him down.

    4. Opals are soft stones, so they aren’t durable for a lifetime of wear. Having said that, if you get a quality setting done, you can replace the Opals as needed. Although you’ll have to decide if it’ll bother you that you’re replacing the center stone. Moissanites are a great option. My ring is a moissanite and it was 1/10th the cost of a diamond in a similar size. I recommend CVB jewelry on Etsy who does amazing vintage inspired settings, or Joseph Schubach Jewelers. Schubach also had some pink coated Moissanites a while back, you may ask about that if you’re interested in color. These two retailers are going to be higher quality than something like MoissaniteCo, who sells stock Steller settings (nothing wrong with that, but if you get a bad batch, you may end up with a metal ring that was improperly cast and porous). I think there’s a ‘rette that has one from MoissaniteCo. If not moissanite, the standard colored rings are going to be Ruby or Sapphire due to their durability. You could also consider a CZ (really. Chris CZ has hand cut and beautiful ones) that are a 8.5 on the MOH scale. And they’re cheap enough to buy 10 in case there’s a crack or chip along the way.

    5. I don’t think opals are very durable, especially considering the near constant wear that wedding rings get. I’d talk to a jeweler about your options for more protective settings and how often you might have to replace the stone.

      1. Just be careful. Some of the most protective settings are going to be bezels, and that’s nearly impossible to swap out the stones without destroying the bezel when the wear does start. I’d get a super high quality prong-set ring with a standard size (7mm, 8mm round) so it can be easily repaired and swapped later.

    7. Opals aren’t durable. Your best non diamond options:
      Ruby
      Emerald
      Sapphire

      Anything from corundum.

      2. My ring is a ruby (with diamond accents) that I absolutely adore. It’s different without sacrificing the timeless vibe. The fact that it’s July’s birthstone resulted in frequent questions of whether that’s my birth month (it’s not but my birthstone, peridot, is kinda ugly), but I just wanted something different. Emeralds and sapphires were also high on my list of considerations.

        1. I was so sad the day I found out emeralds (my birthstone) aren’t good for engagement rings.

        2. +1. I had an emerald and diamond ring I attempted to wear daily and the emerald was quickly damaged. I swapped out for a sapphire. Emeralds are not as durable as diamonds.

      1. Yeah, this. I have several pieces of opal jewelry from my grandmother and they’ve held up well because I don’t wear them often. If you really want a beautiful opal, don’t get a ring. Or get a ring with another stone and an opal necklace/earrings!!

    9. Opals are pretty much in the middle of the MOHS scale. I would be worried about long term durability.

      I suggest reaching out to a jeweler who does custom stuff – if you’re near Philly check out Bario Neal. A good jeweler can help you with ideas and tell you about the durability of different stones and metals.

      Also, I must be clueless – people think non-diamond rings are cheaping out? The cost of diamonds is entirely controlled by the industry, not because they are truly precious stones. Also who GAF what other people think. This is for you and your partner.

    10. For daily use gemstones you want to stay in the red, white, and blue families. Ruby, diamond, sapphire. Anything else isn’t suitable for longterm daily wear as a ring.

    11. Engagement rings or other rings with stones: my understanding is that opal can chip fairly easily, relative to a number of other choices, so perhaps pick something tougher. I have seen beautiful blue sapphire engagement rings if you are looking for something a little unusual but not too off the beaten path.

      Depending on how careful you are, you might get a lot of peace of mind from a cheaper stone, fake diamond or otherwise: I have an heirloom CZ from my husband’s family and I was relieved when I learned it was CZ because that way the ring is easily replaceable and doesn’t require a special insurance rider, even if the sentiment is priceless. (I haven’t lost it yet, in 6.5 years.)

      Wedding rings: I am a big proponent of a simple band. I am amazed at how often even my very simple engagement ring catches on things and am glad to have a band that can’t catch on anything at all.

    12. I have a non-diamond (blue topaz) and I have encountered people who think it’s some sort of second-best. (A distant cousin even told me encouragingly that I could always replace it with a diamond for my first anniversary … like, no thank you.) But I’ve found they usually open with “Oh, what kind of stone is that?” and then I can cut them off with something enthusiastic like “It’s a topaz, Mr. Lana chose it because it’s my birthstone and he knows I love blue so much, isn’t it so pretty?!?”

      1. Is it just smooth, or does the wear make it loose in its setting or otherwise endanger the ring?

        1. It’s just smooth, but it’s in a bezel setting, so hard to knock loose. I considering trying to change it, but the setting makes it tricky. It does look kind of cool, honestly. I imagine it took decades to wear down all the facets, though, and for a while you’re just left with a weird looking stone.

    15. I love my moissanite ring. Mine is about 15 years old but now they are even brighter. No scratches, very durable. Perhaps he could give you an opal necklace as a wedding present.

      1. See, I see moissanite as a cheap diamond knockoff, but sapphires, rubies, emeralds etc. as a beautiful alternative stone that’s not trying to be something it’s not.

        1. Moissanite is prettier than diamond, so I don’t really see it as a knockoff. It’s what diamonds were trying to be.

          But I always think that ancient/medieval/byzantine jewelry is far and beyond the majority of modern styles, so I definitely understand preferring color to a colorless stone.

    16. Fancy engraving can be a nice choice too. My sister’s engagement ring has a repeating flower pattern around it that makes the metal really sparkle.

    17. Would not suggest an opal. I LOVE opal, but cracked my gorgeous four opal stone ring the second day I wore it. I’ve found tons of alternative rings in my own search – check out Bario Neal and Ken and Dana Designs.

    18. We were going to forego rings and then last minute decided to get some in case people would think that we are weirdos. We got some plain metal bands that were very cheap and have found that nobody pays attention at all. (Liberal bubble, progressive workplace, so YMMV)

      1. THIS. We got matching titanium bands and no one has sassed me about my lack of diamond, although that might be because we eloped.

    19. I did not want a diamond either and have a lovely ring with a blue-green sapphire. Our rings were designed by a family friend of my husband’s family who was an accomplished artist and jewelry maker. After we chatted for about half an hour, he said “I have the stone for you,” and it was perfect. All of this is to say that you might want to go to a local artist and have your rings made just for you two.

      I also have a spare plain gold band for travel that I especially wore when I was doing archaeology. Now I mostly wear it for sports and am tempted to get a silicon band. I might do that and have it blessed before our big 25th anniversary trip this summer.

      1. Same. I love this. And incidentally, I have noticed that so many of the women I admire professionally wear something like this, presumably as an alternative to diamonds for a daily wear. It is so timeless.

    21. Moissanite rings are having a moment right now as a good diamond alternative. They are very sparkly and colorless (if you worry about your ring clashing with clothing at any point, which I did) and are a 9.25 on the hardness scale (diamond is 10) so they are very durable. They have a different sparkle to diamonds but mostly colorwise. Unless the ring is exceptionally large (2karat +) most people can’t tell the difference or will look closely.

    22. A couple of thoughts

      I don’t think an opal is durable enough for a ring you’re going to wear every day

      Have you considered looking at estate/vintage jewelry? My engagement ring, which is also my wedding ring, is a platinum band with three old mine cut diamonds across the top, and some other tiny diamonds filling in the spots in between. It was from the turn of the last century.

      Since then I bought a second wedding ring, which is a men’s gold “comfort” band, and my jeweler set it with tiny pink sapphires all over – hard to describe but it’s pretty. I now wear these two rings interchangeably, or one on each hand.

      When my husband proposed to me, he did so without a ring and we picked out the estate ring together from a favorite jeweler.

      When I told people we were going to get married the first thing they did was look for a ring. I found it weird somehow, because they certainly weren’t looking for a ring on him. And then when i did wear my diamond band as an engagement ring, people would always ask now I was going to fit a wedding band around it. When i would say that i wasn’t going to have a separate wedding band, that this was the only ring, you’d have thought I’d just told people i was planning to rob a bank. The shock! The trying to talk me out of it! It was weird

      So i get how you are feeling, but do your thing. Soon enough they’ll be asking you when you’re going to have your first child, then your second, and it never stops.

      1. Why oh why are people so weird about this stuff?

        I have a 1 carat emerald cut stone (less surface area than round so does not appear that large) and people are constantly asking me when I will replace it with a larger stone. This is the ring he proposed to me with, and it is the one I am going to wear always. I have larger bling for my right hand because I love jewellery and we have more financial resources now but somehow “people” feel like that is an insufficient show of love? Mind your business, people.

      2. Well, to be fair, it’s a pretty common behavior (common, not necessarily desirable..) to have someone immediately shove their hand into your face to show you said ring after saying she’s getting married, or common to find out about said engagement by seeing a photo of a hand with a ring on it on social media….. I prefer to believe that people are just responding in a pavlovian way rather than believing that we’re all so indoctrinated by the wedding industrial complex that we consciously prioritize the ring over the wedding. :)

      3. I only wear one ring too and people are super weird about it. I fail entirely to understand the point of having two rings and see no reason to bother.

        1. I wear one ring, as well; I don’t have a wedding band. I have never had anyone question me about it, but I have wondered if strangers think I am only engaged, not married, because of it.

        2. Yeah, a couple of my relatives thought it was weird that I only have one band but then I said “Because it’s a Claddagh ring!” and there is NOTHING white American Catholics love more than Irish traditions of questionable authenticity. ;P

          2. (I’m okay with Irish American Catholic traditions though! It’s just funny how they confuse the Irish.)

    23. I have a sapphire wedding/engagement ring! FWIW no one has ever made any comments to my face about it being less than a diamond. Diamond engagement rings did not appeal to me and sapphire is my birthstone so it worked out great for me! I just wear the one ring, since I think that the setting is too big to have anything else with it. If you plan on wearing an engagement ring every day, make sure that it is something that you love :)

    24. I’m a devoted opal-lover; all my graduation and special birthday jewelry is opal. Aside from the softness, the flashy bits that light up inside the stone are slightly separated round bubbles, which become a natural source of fractures. A jeweler told me they are at risk from sudden temperature changes, and suggested I hold my fingers over my earrings if I stepped out of a warm building. If you ever washed your hands with the ringroup on…

    25. I wear a ring that doesn’t really look like an engagement ring but is beautiful and fits my style. Because it’s not engagement ring style it was _significantly_ less expensive than otherwise. Also I chose heat-treated diamonds because I loved the color and wanted a durable stone. Again, heat-treated diamonds are considerably less expensive than “natural” diamonds, but it’s the same freaking rock.

      Eff em. Find something you like and wear it with pride.

    26. Opal is my birthstone. I love it but it is a soft stone so may not hold up as well with daily wear/cleaning

    27. Everyone else already said it, but in all honestly I only wear my engagement ring now on special occasions and usually only wear the band. If you can see a situation like that, and you won’t get upset if you have to get the ring repaired, I say go for the opal. I found the engagement ring quite annoying to wear daily.

    28. Not only are opals soft and prone to scratching, but they’re very sensitive to temperature. If you live in a place with wild temperature swings (like a commute outside in the bitter cold, then coming inside to roaring heat) you are likely to crack the stone.

    29. You could also go with another option if you decide you don’t want a ring. I went with an engagement bracelet with charms that represent who I am and who we are a couple.

    30. Opals are extremely sensitive to heat, scratches and water damage. What you need is an opal doublet- where a slice of opal is covered with a slice of a transparent stone. If you can get an opal/synthetic sapphire doublet with sealed outsides, you’d have a hard surface which protected the pretty bits.

    31. I told my partner early on that a diamond would result in a refusal. He gave me his great great grandmother’s ring which has a precious stone from Africa that is much much more expensive than a diamond. It cost us nothing and is beautiful, unique and doesn’t add anything to the diamond industry.

      I receive compliments on it all the time and adding the story makes the ring feel even sweeter. I do however find myself jumping to tell the story because I want people to know that not having a giant diamond on my finger was my choice and is not in any way a reflection on my husband’s love for me. It’s sad that a giant diamond is somehow the symbol of success and love or what have you.

      Just know that sometimes it’s not the people who are judging you but you feeling like somehow you are inadequate because of the success of the marketers around us

      1. Ha I actually have the opposite reaction… when I see huge rings I assume the guy is compensating for something. I know a lot of Wall Street types and the flashy ring seems like an apology for future behavior.

    33. I hear people complain about other people’s assumed reactions/thoughts about their engagement ring or lack thereof FAR more than I’ve ever heard people be seriously judgmental on the topic. Are there tactless, shallow people out there that will make dumb (often ill-informed) comments about stuff like this? Sure. But acting like sooo many people judge non-diamond wearers (or “small” diamond wearers) is a little much, IMO. The sheer volume of responses to this comment with so many women with non-traditional rings that love them is completely unsurprising to me. It’s not blasphemous.

      I honestly find that people that are too fixated on the opinions of others are the ones that tend to lament/get defensive about their “alternative” engagement ring. I find this behavioral quirk much more annoying than people just trying to be polite and innocently asking someone to see an engagement ring upon the news of an engagement.

      And if people think you opted for a cheap option because you don’t have a diamond, who cares??? If the cost doesn’t factor into the decision at all, that’s arguably more stupid. It’s perfectly valid to want to put money elsewhere. I think going out of your way to make it known to people that you could in fact afford a diamond but the choice was stylistic (a sentiment that is littered throughout this thread) is actually pretty insufferable.

      1. I’m not sure I see folks going out of their way to say they could afford a diamond but chose not to get one for stylistic reasons. I see a number of people saying they would not choose to wear one for ethical reasons. Personally, I priced rings of similar carat size to the one I ended up with and we definitely could not afford them.

    34. I have a nice CZ, and no one can tell the difference. I have a family heirloom ring, but my mom took the diamond out to make another piece years ago. She gave me the ring and kept the diamond for herself.

      I’ve had it for 6 years, and literally no one has ever asked me if its fake. I get compliments all the time as its a vintage ring, engagement + wedding soldered together, brushed yellow gold with a tall platinum Tiffany setting. I think maybe because its a solitaire in a more expensive band/setting, people assume its real. Either way, I don’t care.

      My husband offered to get me a real diamond, but personally don’t see the point in a potentially unethical/very expensive stone that has little resale value. If a diamond is for you, more power to you.

    35. Completely agree with opals being too soft for daily wear over an extended period.

      A friend of mine just got engaged with a row of pink sapphires in a broad rose gold band and her ring is to die for.

  3. I am completely intimidated by the website, but desperate to try the Ordinary. I have general signs of aging, a need for moisture and would like a more even skin tone. Would anyone be willing to share their regimen for me to try out??

    1. The Ordinary is being run by a madman having a very public, crazy breakdown and the company is probably going down the drain. Stay away.

      1. I had to unfollow their social media because Brandon is a bit “strange”. But every now and then I’m wondering whether it’s a planned thing to get some free publicity

        1. He’s more than strange, he’s a total lunatic. I don’t think it’s planned, I think it’s a narcissist having a drawn out, very public breakdown.

      2. Oh no!
        I just received the items from the Ordinary’s recommended regimen for textural abnormalities. (Part of the regimen guide on their website.) I haven’t started using them yet.

        I didn’t purchase the Ordinary retinol product because I’m using and loving the Cerave Skin Renewal Retinol Serum. I’ve tried prescription Retin-A about a dozen times and have never made it past the irritation phase. My skin looked better with the Cerave serum within a week, without irritation.

      4. He’s for sure in some kind of crisis and seems like an a5s, but i doubt the company will go under. They’ll just replace him. What i do think, though, is that prices will go up. That’s why I just ordered a few items for myself:

        buffet serum
        Rose hip oil

        I use these after cleansing at night (I double cleanse as Houda suggested)

        I also bought the retinol/squalane and the hyaluronic acid/B5 for alternating use, but I’m introducjng one thing at a time so it’s just the buffet for me for now.

    2. I would start with hyaluronic acid for moisture (I use Dr Thayer’s rose petal toner right before).

      What do you mean by “more even skin tone”? I’ve found their azelaic acid to help with redness.

      For “aging,” I’m told that retinol is the only thing scientifically proven to work, although I’ve never tried it myself.(Heads-up that retinol, retinoids, and other vitamin A derivatives are not pregnancy-safe, in case that’s a concern for you.)

      My regimen is: toner, hyaluronic acid, niacinimide + zinc (I think this helps keep my skin clear but I haven’t really made up my mind yet), azelaic acid, Cerave in the tub, sunscreen. (If you’re not using a sunscreen start there!!)

      1. Everyone says that vitamin A derivatives are not safe for pregnancy, but is there any evidence for this, or is it just a case of “better safe than sorry”? (I tried looking this up and found evidence that high-dose oral supplements can be harmful, which is awful, but it’s not clear to me what this says about lower-dose topicals.)

        1. Oh! Maybe I misremembered a “better safe than sorry” as a “definitely don’t do this.” InfantRisk says:

          For topical retinoids, there is some controversy concerning their teratogenicity despite generally low transdermal absorption. Some studies have suggested adverse affects associated with topical retinoid use while others have reported no hazards. Until there are larger studies yielding more research, topical retinoids should be avoided during pregnancy and in the preconception period.

          So I guess it’s “better safe than sorry” but of a less paranoid variety than “what if peppermint tea is secretly bad for you?”

      2. Just putting in a recommendation for azelaic acid, which I think has really helped my redness-prone skin. If you want to clear up sun spots or darker patches, I recommend hydroquinone.

    3. I am a bit crazy about skincare and I have a ton of the ordinary but I don’t need anti-aging (hereditary). Here is a regimen that you could use:
      Morning:
      Cleanse with something mild
      the ordinary: Alpha Arbutin2% (to even skin tone) => “Buffet” (al over skincare) => Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5 (extra moisture)
      apply sunscreen
      Night:
      Remove makeup then double cleanse
      the ordinary: Alpha Arbutin 2% or Ascorbyl Tetraisopalmitate Solution 20% in Vitamin F (it feels a bit oily but is light enough so you wear it under the other layers of skincare) + HA ==> “Buffet” ==> Granactive Retinoid 2% in Squalane (start with 2% and go up to 5% slowly), Rose Hip Seed Oil or Argan oil from Morocco

      1. Why are you doing all of this when you are genetically blessed?

        It seems to be a very expensive, hobby?

        My friends who are genetically blessed wash their face with a gentle cleanser and use sunscreen and they still look amazing compared to me.

        1. I wrote a suggested routine for OP to use, not mine. Sorry if that was not clear, I’m sure my english canoe confusing at times.

    4. If you are intimidated by The Ordinary, try Curology – it’s a lot of the same stuff as The Ordinary packaged into one cream, customized to you by a dermatologist. I have had bad skin forever (was on Accutane twice), and Curology has worked miracles for me without doing a lot of trial and error with The Ordinary.

    5. I love their stuff. IMO you’ll probably try a few things before finding a regime that works for you. It’s cheap enough that I don’t feel bad about it and usually finish the bottles before I decide if it works or not, unless my patch test reveals a problem. Right now I use niacinimide + zinc in the am and lactic acid in the evening, along with my prescription and other OTC items. I tried the azelaic acid and it was great, but I need prescription strength. Alpha arbutin and were vitamin c ok for me.

    6. I LOVE the Ordinary, although am super disappointed to hear about the drama from the CEO. Strange, as they’re in the process of opening up many new stores and seem generally to be expanding.

      I’ve used…many of their products. I have pale skin that’s prone to redness and hormonal breakouts (that one or two large zits a month that are painful and NEVER seem to disappear from my face). I also have started to get deeper wrinkles (thanks, sun damage) and my face likes to shed makeup during the day while still being dry. Goals are smoothing, brightening, reducing redness, preventing acne, and minimizing wrinkles. So, basically, everything.

      Ones I’ve loved:
      * Hyaluronic Acid – it goes on a little sticky, but you can mix with other products for a smoother application (I sometimes use alone but sometimes mix with Matrixyl (anti-wrinkle) and/or Resveratrol + Ferulic Acid (antioxidant)). I use first, as it absorbs multiple times its weight in moisture, so I’ve read it helps absorb other products deeper into the skin. I use morning and night just after washing (or after rose water spritz to tone).
      * Azeleic Acid – good for anti-redness and smoothing; despite the name, doesn’t feel acidic and is more of a moisturizer – I use it after other serums, before moisturizing.
      * Caffeine Solution – Use under eyes in AM to de-puff
      * High Adherence Silicone Primer – just got this, and I’m a big fan; goes on smooth and seems to make makeup last on my makeup-resistant skin
      * Lactic Acid 10% – this has been a revelation! I hadn’t tried chemical exfoliation before, and I love it, although be warned – it may bring blemishes to the surface more quickly, especially at first.
      * Matrixyl – seems to help with deep lines on my face – it’s supposed to be “botox in a bottle.” One of the ingredients in Buffet, but Buffet made me break out.

      Others I’ve tried and like:
      * Rose Hip Seed Oil – supposed to be great for redness, and I like it fine. It isn’t super spreadable but keeps my face moisturized.
      * Squalene Oil – easy to spread, and you can use in the morning before makeup without being super oily.
      * Resveratrol + Ferulic Acid – I can’t tell if this does anything (supposed to be antioxidant-rich), but I mix it with Hyuralonic Acid and figure it can’t hurt.
      * Niacinamide – I was really excited about the promises of anti-acne plus anti-redness. It made me breakout at first, but now I use as a spot treatment (counterintuitive, I know). It seems to help, but since I use it in a limited manner, I can’t speak to overall redness reduction.
      * Natural Moisturizing Factors – their moisturizer – it’s pretty good, light, doesn’t make me break out, and can work as a night cream. I just prefer Glossier moisturizers (priming for day and heavy priming for night or in winter day), so I haven’t reordered after using the whole tube.
      *Ascorbyl Glucoside Solution – Vitamin C derivative. I like it generally, but it pills HORRIBLY, even after I let it set for a long time. So I’m moving away from it.
      * Vitamin C Suspension – same as above, I was using it at night, but I don’t like the texture or heavy pilling, so I rarely use.

      Also, people love Buffet, but it made me break out. I’ve tried their skin tints at the store and loved but they didn’t have my color in stock and I forget what it was so haven’t ordered.

      I’m TTC so haven’t tried their Retinoids or Baby Facial Dupe (AHA 30%), but hear great things. Because they are mostly one or just a few ingredients, many can be used while TTC or pregnant, which is a plus.

      Obviously, I have a problem, but hope this helps! Great part is it’s all so cheap, you can experiment and toss a bottle that you don’t love without much regret. Good luck!

  4. I bought that soft pink origami top from Nordstrom that was featured last week. It is so cute and flattering.

      1. Mine is waiting for me when I get home from a trip. I’m excited to see if it fits. It is probably the only pick I’ve bought from here in the last 3 or so years. That wasn’t true further back.

  6. Is Uniqlo one of those companies that has frequent sales, like Lands’ End? I have some things I want to order and I’m wondering if I should wait around for a discount or just pull the trigger already.

    1. In my experience, things will go on sale as part of a seasonal launch rotation (all tshirts a bit cheaper this week because it is finally spring!) or for closeout (winter is over so all the leftover sizes of heat tech are a bit cheaper!). I don’t think I’ve ever seen them do x% off of everything in the store a la Gap or Ann Taylor. (I don’t know where LE falls on that spectrum.).

      If you are considering their drape pants, the answer is yes.

    2. They’re already cheap so I haven’t seen them do discounts other than sales for odd sizes that don’t work for the item and they sell out fast, so if you like something it’s unlikely to be there long other than usual staples, like puffer coats in a bag.

    3. Not so much and if it is a popular item they will run out of certain sizes and colors (not to rush you). I just pulled the trigger on some pants that I’ve been watching for a sale for about 6 months because they never went on sale. I think it’s better to use the sales to buy more of something that you like already or try something new.

    4. They clear leftover sizes every now and then but in my experience, if you like something you should get it. I even get multiples of some items. The exception would be their classics like the slim puff jackets, the airism range and heat tech which come back every year

  7. My fiancé and I are in the process of combining finances. He holds a lot of stock directly, including in a couple of my firm’s current clients. I told him he probably can’t keep control of those accounts if we get married and we really need to talk to someone at my firm about our obligations. He refuses to even schedule a call. I can’t really do it without him because I don’t have the information necessary – like which clients stock are held in what way.

    Fiancé is totally incensed about the whole thing. He told me I should leave my job before I should even consider asking him to sell his stock; he put a lot of effort into researching companies and timing the market and he doesn’t want to give that up. I don’t even know what to do with this attitude. Ok well I put a lot of research and effort and you know LAW SCHOOL into getting this job but I should just throw that away because you want to be a hobby broker? He doesn’t work in the financial industry fwiw, this isn’t a passion of his, he just picks up WSJ every year or so and invests. How do I navigate this? I’m honestly not sure I want to move forward with the wedding if he sees my career as secondary to his hobby. This isn’t the first time he’s been a little grouchy about my work but this is the first time he’s basically demanded I quit because my work is potentially inconvenient for him. I’m pretty shocked, I thought he was so much better than this.

    1. Engagement can turn what were relationship cracks into craters. I’d recommend couples’ counseling to get to the root of the issue, otherwise it’ll continue to resurface.

    2. “He told me I should leave my job before I should even consider asking him to sell his stock”

      I would have serious concerns about marrying someone with this attitude towards my employment.

      1. Also, please don’t make any long-term financial plans for your family that are based on a hobby broker “timing the market.”

    3. Make sure it’s actually a problem first. Why don’t you talk to your firm in general about the issue with what you do know. It may not be a conflict to hold stock in a client company (that tends to be a government concern not a private law firm concern – many take payment in stocks).

      1. At my firm, you just either need to get clearance before any trading, OR if your spouse separately maintains an account and does not consult you at all in the trading, it is considered an exception to the policy.

      2. +1. I think you may be overthinking this. At my firm, you have to be essentially the controlling shareholder. And even then there may be walls, etc. Frankly, if he’s the controlling shareholder in multiple large companies, then I’m not sure I would be working at all (j/k, but a little serious…).

      3. +1 – it may not be a problem for him to keep his stocks. That said, you should probably think about whether you want to keep him.

        2. This. Just because this particular thing turns out not to be an issue doesn’t mean his next irrational thing won’t be a huge issue.

    4. 1- Since he doesn’t work in finance, unless he holds 10% or more of the stock of a company, it probably doesn’t matter AT ALL that your firm represents some of those companies. (so I think you’re overreacting here)
      2- You should schedule that call yourself, and find out what the rules are about YOUR investments. You will probably find out what I said in point 1.
      3- DONT MARRY SOME DUDE WHO DOESNT SUPPORT YOUR CAREER! What are you doing!

      1. Not OP but I was told by the compliance people at my large law firm that neither my spouse nor I could hold individual stock in any firm client. Since large law firms have so many clients and client lists change all the time, they recommend mutual funds only.

        1. This is my firm’s policy as well. There has been a rash of insider trading cases at law firms, and many law firms are being required to crack down on this for insurance purposes. It may depend on who your firm’s client base is.

      2. My then-fiance was also annoyed by this, but if he had told me I needed to quit my job, there would not have been a wedding day. We talked to someone at my firm, targeted a few problematic stocks and converted most of it into index funds, which I honestly think are safer anyway and mean we don’t have awkward conversations about my clients. This is all moot now that I’m in house but it was a good conversation to have (opened up a lot of other discussions people need to have when combining finances), and your fiance needs to get over himself and approach this conversation like a grown man who respects his future wife’s career.

    5. Um yeah I would not marry a guy who asked me to quit my job so he could day trade as a hobby. Especially if this is not the first time he’s been resentful of your work. I would run.

    6. I think you need to actually know what you are talking about before flying off the handle and declaring he must sell. That’s probably not true. Talk to whomever handles this at your firm. You do not need all the details from him to have that conversation.

      Revise why you’re marrying someone who you can’t communicate with who hates your job.

      1. I’m not sure where you’re getting your first paragraph from? I didn’t fly off the handle or demand he must sell. I asked him to join me in having a conversation with the person at my firm who’s in charge of such things. He refused and then said I should just quit my job.

        If he’d said, I think you’re probably overreacting why don’t you talk to them first and then if there’s a need for me to join I will – cool I would’ve done that. But this, I will not be affected by your career and if it would affect me then you need to quit – not cool at all. To the point that maybe I don’t need to talk to my firm because it’s a nonissue if I don’t marry this guy.

    7. Sounds like a judgmental a-hole to me. If is this rigid now, where will he be AFTER you wed this Schlump. I hesitate to advise to DTMFA, but you have worked too long and hard to become an indentured servant to him and his irrational whims. Unless he’s an otherwise caring individual, I say put the wedding on hiatus until you can resolve this rationally. Once you step back, you’ll be able to confirm whether this is what you want to live with for the next 50 years. Personally, I’d head for the hills if I were in your shoes, but it’s your life so think now before the picture gets complicated with kids, a home and other assets that he will want to control/dominate.

    8. I’m sorry he is such a douchebag. I agree that it sounds like he’s demanding that you drop your profession over his stockpicking hobby (which itself dumb imo). Talk to him about this! Seeing that there have been other signs, proceed with caution.

    9. I agree with the other posters with one caveat. If he knows you are wrong about the rules and that the only way you are right is if your firm was crazy stricter than the other firms, then I could see him saying change jobs and we can both have what we want – assuming continue to trade is important to him. You call it a hobby but how much is he making from it? Is it more akin to a second job? For some people, they make as much money as their day job and it would be a huge sacrifice to stop doing it.

      If, however, he has no idea about the rules and he really is saying quit if it will at all inconvenience me, you have a bigger issue to work through. I’d recommend pre-marital counseling to probe those issues.

      1. He doesn’t know anything about the rules and he’s not making that much money from it. Certainly not enough to justify me finding a different job… and tbh even if it was… you can’t just demand that your spouse give up their primary career for your side hustle. Heck I didn’t even demand that he give up his side hustle, I said let’s talk to someone knowledgeable about this and figure out what we need to do.

    10. If this is the only / main red flag, after consulting your firm’s policies (probably fine since he owned them prior to marriage and more than likely a holder of less than .05% of the stock of any company), why don’t you just not combine your finances? Most couples with their own careers and assets prior to marriage I know do a modified combination where common expenses are autoadded on pay day to a common account and everything else is a “you do you” situation.

      Like everyone else, I don’t usually advocate for DTMFA, but his stance on this issue is ridiculous and you know it. Is there something else going on? Is he projecting onto this about another issue? Is he threatened by you and your career (a strong reason to DTMFA – we don’t need weak men in our lives)?

      1. Yeah, I almost wonder if he’s having a pre-wedding freakout about how his life is going to change forever (which can be normal) and then overreacted to you bringing this up. So if this is out of character, and he immediately walks it back and apologizes, I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. But if he tries to hold the line or argue with you about the relative importance of your job, back away! (Also if his first reaction is you change your life to fit mine, instead of we will figure this out together, not a good sign).

    11. I’m a lawyer and I invest a lot and I agree with him. You can’t force him to sell. People who don’t invest don’t understand the time that goes in. Frankly I wouldn’t disclose it – how will your firm find out? If you’re really worried, keep that account in his name only and don’t do anything with that account yourself. If your firm is anything like my v20 – this is the easiest way to go.

      1. Ummmm they will find out if through bad luck or because OP accidentally mentioned some insider information and her partner sells right before a drop, the SEC could very well come knocking. And how about, don’t violate your firm’s rules on the principle that you may be able to hide it? The point of being a self-monitoring profession is that lawyers enforce our own rules.

        This may or may not be a violation of her firm’s rules. It could be totally fine. But OP is right to want to find that out. And her partner is an a5s and a half for telling her to quit her job the moment it inconveniences him.

      2. Bad advice, and from a lawyer no less. Honesty is the best policy. You don’t go into a marriage concealing something important from your employer when you work in the finance industry. While the man here is no Warren Buffett, it makes no difference for FINRA purposes. If a relationship starts out on the wrong foot, we’re likely looking at another statistic a few years down the road. If she leaves her job rather than disclose, what does that mean for equality? Without a good job she will be even more dependent on this Schlub down the road. If she does disclose, the firm will provide guidance. Hiding behind the advice of a lawyer like the OP reminds me of Michael Cohen who may be pleading the 5th Amendment with the Stormy Daniels matter. Get real, girl!

        1. Get real. The firm’s guidance will be “sell.” That’s what it would be at both biglaw firms I’ve worked at. They don’t want to deal with it, esp for associates so they make it as hard as possible to own even 1 share of individual stock. At both of my Forbes there were no exceptions for owning a few shares – they acted like you were Buffett if you were buying 50 shares. And how hard is it to not talk about clients with your husband? She doesn’t care about this – in time she’ll even forget what sticks he owns, so it’s not like info about his holdings slips out. And let’s be real – next to no chance she works on anything where he’s a shareholder. There are simply too many stocks for that to be possible, esp if he’s not in financial services holdings since those tend to be biglaw’s biggest clients.

      3. Also a lawyer and also invest a lot (and I am married to a guy in finance, so we have extra rules). OP, don’t lie. It is a potential ethics violation with the state bar or your firm’s rules or potentially insider trading.

        My firm was fine with the fact that I invested through blind trusts and through managed accounts, such that I did not have direct say on trading. I also never surpassed the threshold of ownership in any company, which is likely the standard your firm has, especially if it is BigLaw where the client list is endless. This was all before I met my now husband. Regardless, this is something that should be discussed between partners. When you joined the firm, you likely had to answer these disclosures and they likely said ‘do you or a member of your household…’ so you may have to re-visit those and see if your answer changes with your fiance in the picture. We have an extra set of rules because he works in finance and I am an insider in-house and we don’t mess around – we would not want to cause the other to face penalties (or for him reports on his record) because we were willfully stupid about reporting and compliance.

    12. The nicest thing I can say about this situation is that you two have a problematic style of communication. You also seem to be pushing each other’s buttons, deliberately or not.

      At a bare minimum, you should both go for premarital counseling. You need to learn how to constructively disagree (honestly, I am terrible at it), and you both need to learn each other’s trigger points. This shouldn’t be this big of a deal, and it does not bode well for your ability to work through larger problems that come with a marriage.

      I am not an expert in stock ownership and compliance, but I would suspect that there are plenty of ways around this particular issue. One would be, for example, that he instructs a broker to make certain decisions at certain times (ex., “Sell ACME when it hits $128”). That way, he keeps his stocks and his hobby, and you keep your job.

      That his method of resolving this is to even suggest that you quit your job is… deeply problematic. Now, “Quit your job before asking me to do this” could, maybe, perhaps be a shot across the bow, a way of saying, “Hey, this is meaningful to me, and how do you like it if I were to have you give up something meaningful to you?”. But I doubt it, and there are likely other issues you two have surrounding your career.

      Find a premarital counselor who will tell you to not get married if the marriage looks like it will fail.

      1. Caveats: I love my career, love having gotten my education, and have had huge problems with men who have not respected that. I do not advocate for dating, let alone marrying, a man who does not respect your career. Side hustles are not jobs. I don’t think that traditional gender stereotypes are an excuse for acting like an a-hole.

        However: you do not respect his trading side hustle. Men can get very touchy about feeling like they are not respected for their contributions to the household and how hard they work. (Again, so not an excuse to be a baby or diminish your wife’s career.) But bear in mind that he could be lashing out at you because he feels (rightly or wrongly) that you don’t respect his career. It hits at an emotional level.

        Again, NOT an excuse for being a jerk about it.

        1. Hobby investing in a few stocks and thinking he’s smart enough to “time the market” (not a thing) is not the same as a “trading side hustle.” This dude sounds like a bad investor and a bad fiance. Equestrian Attorney has excellent advice above.

          2. It may be important to him, but his minor hobby (not a job, not a legit source of income, not a career) doesn’t get to be at the same level as her actual job.

        2. What is even the point of this comment? You’ve added all these caveats about how you’re not justifying his behavior, but that’s exactly what you’re trying to do here.

          1. To point out that diminishing that which is important to him is not healthy and doesn’t provide a good foundation for asking him to respect that which is important to her.

          2. She’s not “diminishing” it. She’s making a legitimate and required comparison between the relative importance of her job v. his hobby. Assuming that they need to choose one, it only makes sense to weigh the relative importance of the two. Under the circumstances, it’s not sufficient that it’s “important to him.”

            You called this “his career.” You are wrong. This is not his career, and OP is not devaluing his career.

    13. Adding the chorus – you need to discuss the rules on stock trading with your firm. At least for me, because of the work our transactional practice does we are strongly discouraged from owning any individual stock (except for certain situations, e.g., you are an heir or husband is exec in Company X and receives stock as compensation–in either case you would already be considered an insider). I’ve been in situations after certain deals where I have to certify that I know no one on a long list of transactions that happened without a several day window — this is just not a mess you need to be in. And, yes, it was tough explaining to my husband that he could not invest like other people (but, then he understands since he switched to an industry that now has similar issues).

    14. This unfortunately was my ex-H, when I got a job in finance (after we had been married for about 5 years)… He was angry that he had to follow the rules of my company, which are also the general rules of any finance firm, and he basically told me he refused to do it. I forced him to do it, but it was such a nightmare and always caused so much friction. He’s a narcissistic a-hole, and it’s unfortunate that I didn’t realize it until years after we were married… Live and learn

    15. I was in a similar situation, and went through with the marriage anyway. I am so, so, so regretful. If he doesn’t respect something that you’ve worked super hard for like your career, he won’t respect anything.

  8. Can anyone recommend a semi-permanent hair dye for black hair that does not have PPD and preferably no ammonia or peroxide? I saw the henna discussion yesterday but the two step process to dye hair black seems way too time intensive (if I’m wrong about that, let me know).

    1. Are you looking to cover grays? I can tell you that Clairol Beautiful Collection doesn’t have PPD (it has TDS though, if that matters to you) didn’t cover my grays (using light/medium browns) for more than a couple days.
      I use the John Frieda rinses but too infrequently to make a difference. I’m actually using FanciFull rinses instead to cover grays daily. Just takes a few seconds.

    2. I’m not sure what the two-step henna process is. My mom used it in her hair and it was mix the powder into a paste and apply. It gave her hair a redish shade which looked pretty cool since her hair was dark.
      I’d be more careful if you have greys because those will turn out an orangy red.

  9. I think I’m finally ready to try out a pair of Rothys. Anybody have a referral code they’re willing to share?

  10. One of my husband’s friends and his wife just had their first child, and we’re bringing them a meal next week. They keep what they refer to as a “kosher-ish” home. They provided some guidelines (no meat+dairy or pork/shellfish, but no restrictions on cooking utensils or the provenance of any meat/fish), but I’m not very familiar with kosher requirements beyond “no bacon” so I want to make sure I’m respectful of their dietary needs. I was thinking a veggie-based pasta with some fresh fruit for dessert, and a tin of muffins to snack on for breakfasts, would work.

    I KNOW I’m overthinking this and that they don’t keep strict kosher, but Google has resulted a rabbit hole of kosher vs. non-kosher breeds of chicken, the permissability of blood spots in eggs, leaf-by-leaf inspection of kale to make sure no aphids are visible, and other fascinating requirements I had no idea about prior to 20 minutes ago. I want to make sure I’m not missing something obvious. And I have such a renewed respect for people who work so hard to respect their religious traditions!

    1. What you’re thinking is totally appropriate and I’m sure will be well received.

    2. I would just ask them if what you’ve listed here is all their restrictions!

      But when I had to get wedding food for a friend who keeps kosher strictly enough that I ended up just ordering him something from a kosher restaurant approved by the local rabbinical council, he told me that utensils aside, anything vegetarian is kosher (outside of Passover). So if these friends don’t worry about utensils, what you have is probably fine.

      1. But to be clear, I am goy AF and actually called poor Daniel to ask him whether ice is kosher, so please do not treat me as an authority.

      2. Ha…definitely also on the goy AF team. I’m feeling a lot better after a few responses, so I probably won’t bug them since their baby has apparently not been an easy one, and just stick with veggie everything.

    3. I’ve handled this by just cooking vegetarian and not worrying about the rest. It sounds to me like they just follow the major rules of no meat + dairy and no pork or shellfish but they wouldn’t freak out if you used a spoon that you’d used for beef stroganoff two weeks ago and had washed since.

      What you’ve selected sounds lovely.

    4. I would totally sub this one out. See if there is a kosher restaurant/deli/bakery from which you could buy a meal or baked goods.

      2. We’ve eaten out with them at non-kosher places before, and I would really prefer to cook–it’s totally my love language. If they were stricter I would definitely contract this out, though! I had no idea how many restrictions there were.

    5. The easiest way is to stay vegetarian. When I travel, I often get vegetarian meals that are kosher dairy meals.

      2. Yeah this works both ways — a good vegan hack is to to to the meat restaurant and order something without meat, so you know there’s no dairy (idk, eggs are still a thing I guess). So I’d do something vegan if you want to be really safe!

    6. Anyone who describes themselves as “kosher-ish” isn’t worried about whether an egg has blood spots or there’s aphids on the kale. You’re sweet to worry, but you’ll be fine!

      The only thing I’d caution you on is that lots of fish is not kosher – if you do anything with any fish or other animal ingredients, just look up a list of kosher fish.

      1. And yes, I do see the irony on advising you on this, given my handle, but I am actually Jewish (but don’t keep kosher at all except for high holy days).

        1. Thank you! I will be steering clear of fish–I need to do something easy to reheat since I’ll be dropping it off right after work, and I don’t love reheated fish.

          I definitely didn’t think they’d care whether I e.g. checked the kale for aphids (other than washing it, obviously), it was more just a comment that I had no idea that there were so many different regulations!

        2. I support irony (says the MOT who eats shrimp but not bread during Passover because in my mind I never keep kosher and will not change during the holidays but want to observe Passover).

        3. I just now realize the irony in my mother ordering at dim sum: “is there pork? no pork! ok, no pork. yes, we’ll do the shrimp.”

          1. Haha, my in-laws are the same way: any Jewish people who eat pork are basically letting Hitler win, but seafood? Sure!

          1. Ironic, you remind me of my teen Jewish BFF, who was like “give me more bacon cheeseburgers please” but butter on a sandwich was disgusting.

    7. Yes this is totally fine according to how they’ve described themselves! I keep strictly kosher and would not eat a typical vegetarian meal (unlike Lana’s friend described in her comment above) but for a family who keeps kosher-style or “kosher-ish”, you’re good with a veggie pasta, fruit and pastries/muffins (which also sounds like a perfect meal for new parents).

      Those of us who keep strictly kosher know that the kosher world can be crazy and totally a rabbit hole (and there are so many disagreements within the strictly kosher world!) – if your friends kept to that level they would have clearly told you so and you would know only a meal from a certified place would be OK.

      1. Thanks, Marilla! This is a really helpful response.

        I just…had no idea that there were so many kosher regulations. I just spent 10 minutes learning about kosher wine. I would 100% be outsourcing this meal to the experts if they were strictly kosher!

        1. Hahaha… it’s a crazy world with about a million different opinions. It’s sweet of you to be so considerate of them.

    8. Keeping Kosher varies wildly, and there are thousands of rules as you saw from the internet. If they are American Jews (conservative, orthodox, etc. from America) veggie pasta and vegan muffins are perfect! If they are from Israel, then they might be stricter than that, but for 97% of Jews in America, anything vegetarian is a good option. If they are from Israel, tbh I would give up and just order them something from a Jewish bakery/restaurant, but it sounds from your description of how they keep kosher that they follow the major rules only. I would generally try to keep dairy out of breakfast so that they don’t have to wait to each lunch or try to figure out if the last meal they had was dairy or not.

      -Non-Jew who routinely had to order food for Jewish people at a previous job.

      1. FYI – American Orthodox Jews would not be OK with veggie pasta. Secular Israelis (= a lot of Israelis) totally would be!

          1. Being Israeli vs American doesn’t necessarily mean anything in terms of the person’s level of religious observance. There are plenty of Israelis who are totally non-observant and would have no problem with shrimp, bacon, milk and meat, etc. The person’s expressed level of observance is a better guide than their citizenship :) E.g., I identify as a Canadian Modern Orthodox Jew. The Modern Orthodox part means a lot more in terms of my kosher strictness/other religious observance than the fact that I live in Canada!

            Not sure if people are conflating news items they see about ultra Orthodox Jews (who exist in both Israel and the US) or Israeli settler communities, with Israeli Jews as a whole. There is a wonderful and amazing level of diversity in the Jewish world (like in all communities).

          3. So I will actually take a stab at Anonymous at 12:44’s question, since I’ve been learning about kosher all morning instead of doing my job, since I find this all really fascinating! It turns out that there are many reasons why someone who observes strict kosher would not be okay with eating veggie pasta that I prepared. Strict kosher households maintain two separate sets of dishes, cooking utensils, dishwashers, etc. so that meat and dairy don’t touch the same implements–I don’t have a kosher setup in my kitchen, so even if I was making a veggie/cheese pasta, I would be using the same pan to combine my sauteed veggies, pasta, and cheese as I would be to e.g. fry up some bacon, which is a no-go.

            It would also be difficult to verify that I had used, say, kosher-appropriate (sorry if I’m butchering language here) cheese. Commercial hard cheeses in the U.S. often contain traces of meat products, like rennet, which make them kosher-noncompliant. Really strict folks will also not consume dairy that come from non-kosher animals or that has been processed in non-kosher facilities.

            These are two surface-level explanations that I came across, but I think there are also some additional layers.

          4. Oh, KOSHER veggie pasta would be totally ok! But a veggie pasta prepared by a non kosher keeping person in a non-kosher kitchen would not.

        2. By in large, there is a significantly larger portion of Israeli Jews that maintain strict Kosher, i.e. prepared in a Kosher Kitchen, separate kitchens for dairy and meat, etc. than American Jews. Most practicing Orthodox Jews in the US follow the general Kosher rules outside of the home and keep Kosher in the home. No, nationality does not dictate how Kosher someone keeps, but there are SIGNIFICANTLY more Jews in Israel that keep strict Kosher. In my experience, 60-70%ish of the Jewish presenters coming in from Israel required strict kosher foods. I would guess that this is due in part that it is really almost impossible to keep strict Kosher in the US outside of large cities with huge Jewish populations, whereas in Israel it is much more convenient with access to more grocery stores and restaurants that can provide the needed foods. I might have been working with a self-selecting population of more religious than average Israelis, but my cousin works with the Israeli office of his technology company fairly often, and this seems to be his experience as well.

          In my very large metropolitan city, I can think of 3-4 families out of thousands that the Jewish organization I worked for worked with that kept strict Kosher. They could eat at a total of 2 restaurants and there were two (now one, one shut down) grocery stores that reliably had Kosher foods.

      2. Thanks! My standard muffin recipe is dairy-free but does contain eggs, so I’ll make sure to stick on a note indicating that.

    9. We do the same thing (kosher-ish). The only thing I would add to your list is don’t combine meat and dairy in the same meal (FYI, eggs don’t count as dairy and fish doesn’t count as meat–they’re both considered “neutral” (pareve)). Agreed with those above who have said that your suggested menu sounds lovely and appropriate.

      1. Thank you! I rarely cook with meat anyway (to my DH’s regret, ha), so sticking to veggies + dairy only is no problem at all for me.

  11. How do you sanitize a washing machine? My dog got sick (out of both ends) and I had to wash her dog beds, and would like to sanitize our washing machine before I put anything else in it. It does not have a sanitize options, only hot.

    3. For my own piece of mind, I would have thrown them out and bought new dog beds. Kudos to you for trying to clean them. I hope your dog feels better soon!

    4. you can always run a load with some bleach and a bunch of old towels or rags through – I would do that plus a wash load.

    5. I would run it empty on hot, with bleach, but I’ve also never heard of sanitizing a washing machine in many years of cloth diapers, children being sick at both ends, and several family infestations of pinworms, so you’re probably fine.

    6. Hot water and bleach? I’m pretty sure that’s all my mom used when washing cloth diapers (that had been previous rinsed of the contents elsewhere).

    7. Pull out your owners manual or search online for it. Often they have a sanitizing rec. If not, just run a hot cycle with bleach – no detergent.

      But also agree that you don’t need to for this instance. The main purpose of the sanitizing cycle + bleach is for the front loaders that are prone to growing mold/fungus when they aren’t dried out sufficiently between loads.

    8. I understand, regular soap is not going to drain away the fecal bacteria that was left on the washing machine walls after the wash. Spin through a wash cycle with the appropriate amount of bleach and regular soap and you’ll be fine.

    10. Washing machines absolutely need to be cleaned. (So does your tub, so does your sink. Not sure why a washing machine would be different.) You can do it with vinegar and baking soda, or you can buy packets that you just run in an empty load. Affresh and Tide both make good packets.

    11. Is there a Daiso or an Asian market in your area? I’ve bought Japanese washing machine cleaner (comes in a nice handy one-use packet), which was very convenient. I don’t think the base ingredients were anything more than vinegar and baking soda though.

    12. Lysol makes this wash sanitizing stuff (find in the laundry aisle). You can also use that next time you need to sanitize a load of dog beds.

  12. I have a very small closet (about 30 inches long) for all my clothes. I keep hearing about these flocked hangers…do they really help make more space/easier to see stuff in there? And what is the solution to replace those big bulky skirt hangers (if any)?

    1. I don’t think they save that much space, honestly. Their main advantage is that they keep things from slipping off, but some of them also tend to have more horizontal “shoulders” that can misshape things, so be careful what kind you buy.

      For skirts, you can get multi-level skirt hangers with ~4 sets of clips, and those really do save space.

      1. +1. The space saving is minimal, but it does “appear” tidier overall and there is no slippage. Also +1 that certain ones can damage the shoulders of women’s shirts/dresses.

      2. Ah, the multi-level skirt hanger does sound like it would help! If anyone has specific brand recs, please let me know…otherwise will just poke around. My tiny closet is out of control.

        1. I only have the ones I stole from my parents when I moved out, so no specific recommendations, sorry!

    2. I have a tiny closet and I think they save tons of space. I can squish tons of stuff in my closet.

      2. Can you install a second rod if you have the vertical space? if you’re not super tall, you may be able to fit shirts on lower half.

  13. Fit question. I have a consistent issue with dresses hitting me funny at the waist, and the one posted here is a prime example — the waist on this dress would hit about 3 inches above my natural waist. Yet I’m not particularly long-waisted — if anything I’m short-waisted. This has been an issue for about as long as I can remember, though a range of sizes/weights. Am I freakishly made, are the dresses freakishly made — what’s going on here?

    1. 1. What do you consider to be your natural waist? Where your side creases when you bend to the side? Your natural waist is a lot higher than the waistband of most pants.

      2. Why do you consider yourself short waisted (having a short torso)? If you are consistently having an issue with where off-the-rack clothes hit, then you might want to re-think that definition. That being said, dresses will usually have a waistline seam that hits higher than the waistband of your pants, so that’s not unusual.

    2. I have the same problem so I usually buy tall sizes or long-waisted. If most dresses are appearing short-waisted on you then consider yourself long-waisted in that brand, at least.

    4. In general, I have noticed that the British brands are cut for short-waisted gals. This is me, and my family are relatively recent English immigrants to the US, so it was a nice revelation for me.

      Every brand is different with regard to their basic model structure. You figure out what works for you by trying on a lot of brands/sizes/permutations.

      BTW – no dresses fit me off the rack. My body is an extreme pear + short waisted. XS size 0-2 on top, size 6-8 on the bottom. Even with a lot of alterations, I can’t wear any of these structured sheath/pencil dresses as they are unflattering. We are all freakishly made, in some way or the other. Keeps us interesting…. and makes shopping painful.

      1. +1 I’m genuinely quite shortwaisted, but also an exaggerated hourglass figure, and this still happens to me (same with skirts being too short in the back).

  14. Our tax refund check was made out to both my husband and me (first year married and filing jointly). But we don’t have any joint accounts. My bank is telling me the check won’t be deposited if he’s not also listed on the account. We keep our finances separate but transparent. Although we’re not completely opposed to opening a joint account to deposit this check, it just seems like an extra annoying hoop. Has anyone else run into this? Any solution I’m not seeing?

    1. That’s not true. Either of you can deposit in either account, so long as you both sign.

      1. OP here. Ally and Capital One both told me names on the check have to match the account – doesn’t matter if both sign.

        1. It might be worth getting a very basic, low cost account for things like this. I imagine you will run into this from time to time (like getting a refund on a joint homeowner’s insurance premium)

        2. Ok, so legally, it doesn’t matter. I think you’re running into problems because these are not brick & mortar banks – you are just trying to e-deposit, I assume.

        3. I had this problem with Ally – they tried to make me mail in the check with a special form and it was complicated. Then I tried my Bank of America account and worked fine through the mobile app, no issue. I think Ally has stricter rules for some reason.

    2. This is wrong. One of you can endorse, then the second can write “for deposit only” and then sign and deposit into the second signer’s account. Whoever told you this needs to take a lesson unless he’s paid to make people open new accounts.

      1. Exactly this. Checks can have multiple endorsements on them (thank you commercial paper as a 3L!).

    3. You can both sign it, cash it, and then deposit it however you wish. But I agree with the above poster, you shouldn’t need to have a joint account as long as you both sign it.

    4. Are you trying to deposit in person at the bank or on your phone/ATM/etc.? I don’t think you can do it through the app, you have to go to the teller’s window. If that still fails, then you might both have to go to the bank in person with ID.

    5. Just deposit it in one of the accounts. It’ll work. I know they say that the names should match, but it doesn’t actually matter in practice. When I got married most of the checks were made out to my name + my husband’s last not (not my legal name) and it made no difference and we both didn’t even sign them like we should have. Nobody verifies that stuff. I can remember “hard-hitting” news reports from when I was a kid (on 60 minutes and those types of shows) about how you can sign your checks “Mickey Mouse” with no ill effect.

      2. Side note: ugh, I hate that people make out checks to woman + husband’s last name without verifying that is correct. If you did get a jerk teller they could make the deposit unnecessarily difficult.

        And just in general, assuming women are going to change their name.

        1. Yes, yes, yes.

          This happens to me and my lovely H all the time. Both directions, actually. In less legally-challenging scenarios…I book most of our travel, and so more than once we’ve arrived somewhere to be greeted enthusiastically and repetitively as Mr. and Mrs. Mylastname. I actually travel with a copy of our marriage license…just in case we’re in a place where it is indeed a rarity or cultural/legal issue. Different plotline, I know, but Brokedown Palace haunts me ;-)

      3. Won’t work with Ally. I deposited an IRS refund check that my parents had endorsed over to me, into my account, and they rejected the deposit.

    6. We recently received an escrow check and we both had to go to my husband’s bank in person with ID for a double endorsed check over $5K. He initially deposited it in an ATM and they returned a copy (by postal mail) saying we both had to go to the branch. Which we did. It took about 10 days in total and was a bit of a hassle. I would just both go in person in the first place.

    7. Retail banker here, this is simply a bank policy. If you have a brick and mortar bank I’d recommend both of you going into the branch with ID and they will most likely deposit it that way.

  15. I may be way behind the times, but I just bought a pair of Uniqlo’s “smart ankle pants” and I am in love. They’re comfy, elastic waist but look like a real waistband with belt loops, and the blush color is really soft and dusty and perfect for the office in spring/summer. My usual size was a little too tight for the office, especially in a light color. So I sized up and the look is slightly more drapey. Love love love. And they’re on sale for $30.

  16. Piling onto the engagement questions today. My fiance and I are in a LDR. We are still figuring out where we will live post nuptials. He currently lives in his small rural hometown. I am in a travel heavy industry. I have offered to move to large city 3ish hours from him. He does not want to move, give up his job, and be away from his family, especially if I’m on the road 4 days a week. I want us to live together, I don’t really want to live in his town with his family (though I love them dearly), and there is no way I could do my job there. I am at a loss for how to solve this and not sure what I’m looking for… advice? commiseration? We’re in pre-marital counseling but still haven’t figured this piece out.

    1. Uh – why did you get engaged before working this out? If he can’t be away from his mama and you can’t live and work in his rural town, what else is there to talk about?

      1. To be fair, this is what an engagement is for, you want to get married but need to hash out the details first. Whatever you do OP, PLEASE don’t get married before figuring this one out! Don’t be the next Kim K! Clearly, he is going to have to move if you keep your job, as I can’t imagine driving more than an hour to an airport if you are traveling 4 days a week. Frame it as your commute to the office. Also, evaluate your travel situation and the desire to have/not have children.

        1. Umm, no it’s not!

          This is definitely the kind of thing you should have figured out first!

      2. Ok stop. This is an unnecessary comment. Working this out while engaged makes sense to me. Many people don’t want to move until they know the other person is committed, which often means an engagement.

        How far is his town from an airport of size?

        1. No one is saying they had to live together? But you don’t think it’s normal to have the – where would we live when engaged/married – esp in a long distance relationship just to make sure they’re on the same page before he buys a ring and they announce to the world? What’s his problem anyway? Too close to mama and his sisters and MUST see his nieces and nephews many times a week??

          1. I agree with this. Sorry OP but this is a major issue. If neither of you will budge then you can’t be together.

          2. My fiance and I had this talk the day we decided to date (he was in my city when we met). If neither of us were willing and able to move, we didn’t want to waste time.

          3. Can we stop with the mocking people that are close to their family? It won’t work for some relationships, sure. But if you want to prioritize living close to your mother and siblings and nieces and nephews there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Not that long ago it was the norm and you were the outlier if you moved away from family. Stop being a jerk.

      3. Uh

        Uh

        Uh

        Why don’t you have anything better to do than make needlessly rude and condescending comments to strangers on the internet?

    2. Can he do his job in Large City, even if it means leaving his current employer? If you can’t do your job in his city then it seems like that’s just not a viable option for you. Obviously its not ideal for him to have to give up his particular job, but it’s less reasonable to expect you to give up your career. What does he believe your employment would look like if you moved to his town?

    3. This is a mess. I might agree with you because you’re willing to compromise but with you being on the road so much, it may be best for him to stay in Podunk, where there aren’t as many pretty distractions to tempt his libido on those long and cold nights where we all need someone to snuggle with (plus more, as the case may be). Unless you can come to agreement now, you could well come home to a situation where one of those cuties is hiding in the closet while doing the dirty deed with your hubby in your absence.

      1. I am truly baffled. Half of this poster’s comments are actually reasonable, and half of them are Ellenesque. What gives?

        1. I was going to post the same thing. Fern has been making some sense and then….well that’s over.

    4. If he won’t move, and you won’t move to him, break up. It’s really unfortunate. I’m sorry.

      1. I don’t know. There’s such thing as long-distance marriage. The relationship has been working so far. Both parties just need to be perfectly honest about what they want.

        1. If that was an option that would work for both of them, then OP wouldn’t be here asking questions.

          1. I think I agree with Susan and Anon at 12:12 below–they need to really talk this through in a way that it sounds like they haven’t yet.

    5. Your compromise offer to move nearby but not to his specific town seems reasonable. I’ve done an LDR. DH immigrated to be with me. We spend basically all our vacation time visiting his family with just occasional long weekends as vacations. His mom comes to stay for a month every year. That was our compromise. There are only so many options and someone has to sacrifice 1) you move to small town, 2) he moves to nearby big city, 3) you can continue at LDR, 4) you can break up.

      1. If he’s never lived away from his hometown, another compromise would be to move to another city together, live there together for 3 or 5 years, and see how you both like it. Then be open to reevaluate and potentially move again. If he went away for college though and then moved back, he might just be so connected to hometown that you can’t get him to compromise.

    6. There is no magic here. If he won’t give up his hometown for you and you won’t give up your job for him then the relationship won’t work. I would have done either to be married to my wonderful DH.

    7. It sucks, but if he’s truly not willing to budge you need to think about whether moving to his hometown or not being marriage is better for you. For what it’s worth, I’m a consultant and many of my colleagues do not live near major airports, they fly out of smaller regional airports and connect. Not ideal, as it adds hours to their travel time, but they don’t seem to mind.

    8. Geographic relationship issues are so hard because at the end of the day, you can’t really live two places at once. Someone is going to feel like they lost.

      What is his proposal, that you live separately? Or that you quit working to live in his small town? Neither of those options seem reasonable to me, so it’s hard for me to understand where he’s coming from.

      1. My feeling is that in this case, both of you are looking for the other one to cave. He is looking for you to move to his town and give up or change your career or bear the burden of the extra travel to the airport. You are looking for him to compromise by getting a new job, moving to a town 3 hours away from his family but he won’t be near enough to visit them on the spur of the moment. From his point of view, he’ll be the one making all the sacrifices. As someone above says, you’ll have to decide if you love him enough to give up/modify your job. He’s telling you that he doesn’t love you enough to give up his job and location by family to be with you. Hard choices, sorry, unless you can work it that you drive the three hours to the airport and back and still do your job while living in his town.

    9. This may sound out of left field, but I’d recommend browsing the book “Getting to Yes.” It’s an approach to negotiation and I think some of the principles might be helpful for you and your fiance, particularly how to re-frame the discussion around interests, rather than positions, and the example they give about working from a single text (an architect attempting to please a husband and wife with very different ideas about the house they were building). I can’t tell from your post (so apologies – I’m not trying to make assumptions here) but if you (or your fiance) are holding on to any ideas about what marriage/living arrangements “should” look like, I would encourage you both to let go of them and really expand your vision of what YOUR marriage COULD look like. Think broadly, and creatively, to open up possibilities before you start narrowing down to “this/that won’t work.” I know you want to live together, but perhaps that means you keep a small apartment/room in a large city with an airport and “live together” on the weekends in his small town in a home that you build (in the figurative sense) together. If you love each other, and want to get married, focus on how to make it work, and the process by which you shared your feelings, supported and advocated for each other, and built a shared vision of your future that is uniquely yours. Good luck … you two can do it!!!

      1. I was just getting ready to post exactly this. I am also going to (very slightly) defend your fiance. You are not just asking him to leave home (and the tone of some of the comments about “Mommy” disturb me; he might well have legitimate concerns about moving away from elderly parents. He might also just view his family as a strong source of emotional support.) You are asking him to leave his home, his family and his job and move so that he can live with you three days a week and be alone in a strange city the other four. I would encourage you to think creatively. Does his town have an airport you can fly in and out of? If not, can you have a small apartment in the city and switch off who makes the drive so you can spend your three days together?

        If you were going to be living together full time, I might feel differently (although lets be clear that each of you is asking the other to move and/or change jobs for the other). However, if you are going to continue to travel so much for the foreseeable future, I can see his point.

        1. I do kind of agree. I moved in with my husband. I work from home, he works insane hours and is never home. I haaaaaaate it here. I’m trapped here all day alone and feel so isolated. Obviously I’m not completely isolated, but it sucks moving to a new place that you dislike to basically be alone. We’re actively trying to move, but I mind it way more than I thought I would.

    10. It sounds like he will expect his wife to live in his small town, for good. No moving. If he won’t consider moving for the reason you have now, then he won’t consider moving for any reason that you will ever have. If you marry him, you will marry his town as well. Think long and hard about a lifetime in his town, on his terms, with a partner who won’t consider compromise.

    11. Your discussion of this issue should tell you whether your engagement should continue – there really is no question more central to a marriage than how you want to live your day-to-day lives together. Remember that marriage is not 50/50, it’s 100/100. You should both be willing to explore every option and weigh the costs/benefits to each partner. Have you considered every option for working from his hometown? Working from home thr few days a week you don’t travel maybe? Has he looked into his job options in the bigger city you’ve proposed? What are his chances of getting one of those jobs? What would the plan for making sure he maintains a strong connection with his family be? Is there a place between hometown and bigger city that could be a mutual compromise?

      My husband and I have now done this equation 3 times. For us the decision has always come down to finances, but we both participated in fully exploring every option so that we both felt “heard” by the other. Only once did we uncover a magical third option we’d not thought of originally, but we both felt more comfortable with the ultimate decision having gone through the process of discussing it in an open, kind way.

  17. Curious what you all think about merging phone bills with your SO before marriage/engagement. We don’t currently live together and don’t plan to until we get married. Not engaged yet but discussing it/heading there. We’ve been dating a year and a half. I’ve researched a bit and if we were to get on the same phone plan with T-mobile, our total monthly cost would be $80, making it $40 each. We currently each pay $90 separately to Verizon. I haven’t proposed this idea to him yet, but is there anything I’m not thinking of as to why we shouldn’t do this? I’m trying to pay off debt so the extra $50 a month would go a long way for me

    1. In a twist on the common response here, know your SO. It’s reversible, unlike having a pet or a child together, but if you did break up, you’d have to deal with the heartbreak AND disentangling your phone plans. I held out on merging phone plans until we were living together and I was pretty certain we were going to get married. Personally, I think merging phone plans is a pretty big step (very Millennial of me, I know).

    2. We did it (and added some friends onto the family plan too to save even more money). It’s NBD and easy to remove folks if problems arise.

      1. Do it if you can agree on the same carrier. Since my SO and I both use Sprint, it was a no brainer but if you can’t agree on a carrier now this could signal red flags down the road. Good luck to you with this initial merger decision. BTW, if Sprint and T-Mobile merge, you will definitely luck out! Pray that Trump’s Schlumps won’t derail it or your marriage could be impacted?

    4. We merged our phone plan before getting married. We both had Google Fi and we just contacted them and asked to be put on a group plan. I assumed if we broke up it would be just as easy to separate it again. What’s the downside?

      1. I didn’t think there was a downside, just making sure there isn’t anything I haven’t thought of. Although the poster above telling me I’m silly and making life difficult seems to think there is a downside but doesn’t say what it is

        2. Poster above seems to think that disentangling the numbers if things go south is a big enough downside not to make it worthwhile–which it certainly could be for some people, but I haven’t personally found it to be that difficult when I’ve needed to take friends off a family plan. I guess it just depends on how much of a hassle you personally would find that process to be.

          1. Emotionally, there’s something to be said for keeping things separate. I was always super reluctant to do anything that made me reliant on my boyfriends for any reason until I was sure it was going to stick. Until my fiance, I never split groceries, never lived with anyone, never even had a drawer at anyone’s place, and if I left things at anyone’s place, it was in a bag that could be picked up and carried away immediately. Due to family history, I’ve always been very hesitant to entangle myself without an exit plan. If the OP won’t move in together until they’re married, she might have similar reservations.

            If they’re talking about marriage, though, and she’s pretty sure, it makes sense to combine phone plans.

      2. Google Fi has a group plan??? We’ve had it for at least a year and not known this. Thanks!

    5. Personally I would do it in a heartbeat if my parents weren’t keeping me on their plan (I know, I know, but it’s free for them so why not!)

    6. I did this with an ex, and I’ve done it with my current SO. It was very easy to change plans and remove my ex.

      Only drawback I can think of is that since it took me a little while to get around to it, I could see all the numbers he was texting in the interim. Just something to be aware of if you aren’t the primary account holder.

  18. How long can you keep unopened mascara? I bought some Diorshow during the Sephora Christmas sale and still haven’t broken the seal.

  19. Trying one more time since I posted late in the day yesterday (and thanks for the tip, Aunt Jamesina!):

    Inspired by the readers on this site, I’ve booked myself on an Intrepid trip to the Italian Lakes and Switzerland! I am flying into Milan and will have most of the day to wander around before I take the train to meet up with my tour group in Lake Como. I would love to check out some stores for work clothes, particularly shoes (flats). Does anyone have any recommendations? My hotel is in the Fiera neighborhood.

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