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Update: some colors of these pants are marked as low as $237 in the NHYS!
Akris Punto is one of my favorite brands for high-quality basics. These mid-rise ankle pants have a tiny bit of elastane for a bit of stretch, but the sharp crease makes them look really crisp and put-together.
I would wear these pants with a untucked blouse and a non-matching blazer for a professional, but not too formal look.
These pants are $395 at Nordstrom and come in sizes 2–16.
As of 2024, we think the best work pants for women include longtime favorites such as Nic & Zoe, Theory, NYDJ, J.Crew, and M.M.LaFleur — as well as trendy brands like Spanx, Favorite Daughter, and Everlane. For budget-friendly styles, check Quince, Old Navy, and Amazon seller Tapata.
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
SSJD
Any suggestions for family activities in Colorado Springs, CO? We head there next week (family of 6 with kids ages 9-14). Suggestions, ideas, warnings, best practices, specific hikes are all welcome. (Also need to get one kid a pre-camp covid test while there, so if you have a favorite test site, let me know that, too.)
Anonymous
Pike’s Peak cog railway, or drive up Pike’s Peak to get donuts and hot chocolate at the top (take winter jackets). Old Colorado Springs and Manitou Springs are cute little towns, and the ruins of a Native American habitation outside Manitou Springs is really interesting. Garden of the Gods is great for hiking with kids–pretty terrain and a lot of flat but with some interesting scrambling-over-rock possibilities. Little Richard’s bookstore and restaurant in downtown are fun, too.Cheyenne Mountain Zoo is great, as well. (I lived there in 2017, and these were my faves.) If you are not used to being at elevation, take it easy at first and HYDRATE and use sunscreen. Any weather is possible, especially the higher you go–that includes snow.
anon a mouse
+1 Garden of the Gods.
If kids area at all into fossils, the Florrisant Fossil National Monument isn’t far and has a few pretty easy, flat hikes.
Be sure to pack layers! We were there in July a few years ago and everyone needed fleeces and hats a couple of mornings.
Anonymous
The Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado Springs is one of the best I’ve ever visited. It’s a manageable size so you can really cover most of it in a half day but it has such an amazing variety of animals in really neat environments. I’m not a big zoo person (I always feel bad for the caged animals) but I love, love, love this zoo and recommend it to everyone.
SSJD
Any suggestions for family activities in Colorado Springs, CO? We head there next week (family of 6 with kids ages 9-14). Suggestions, ideas, warnings, best practices, specific hikes are all welcome. (Also need to get one kid a pre-camp covid test while there, so if you have a favorite test provider, let me know that, too.)
Anonymous
Cheyenne Mountain Zoo for sure! If you’re up for a scenic drive, we like COS > Woodland Park > Cripple Creek (through Divide).
Denverite
Garden of the Gods has easy hikes
Anonymous
+1 And stunning scenery. Just be prepared for strong sun, as I recall.
Katie
The US Olympic and Paralympic museum is there, highly recommend. There’s also a US Figure Skating museum in town, if that’s your jam.
Anonymous
Second this – went a
short time. USOPM was such a fun experience, very interactive.
NYCer
The Broadmoor has a ropes/adventure course type thing that is really fun. It might be available to non-guests as well, so it is definitely worth checking their website. (The Broadmoor in general is a really beautiful property, I would recommend checking it out regardless of where you are staying or if you do the adventure course.) There is also an old fashioned train that goes to the top of Pikes Peak that could be fun for the kids.
And I second the recommendation for Garden of the Gods.
Anon
I’m feeling so weird and sad lately. COVID rates are low and we’ve pretty much reopened, so in theory I should be feeling good, but I’m still coming to terms with how much of my 2019 life is gone forever. The social lubricant, I guess, was commuting, and having shared places to go and meet up, and now I have none of that.
I used to commute downtown, schedule lunches and post-work drinks with friends near work, and now I WFH. While I have more personal time, I really miss the energy and excitement of downtown, and the feeling of shared purpose.
I had lots of friendly acquaintances and I saw them at activities or meetups or through other friends, but now I haven’t seen most of them in over a year and I don’t know how to restart that.
Grateful that I’ve maintained 1-on-1 friendships with my closest friends throughout the pandemic, but I feel like my social life, which pre-COVID was active and fulfilling, has been stripped bare and I have to recreate it. But all the tools I had before no longer work.
Any advice?
Anokha
No answers, but commiseration. When it comes to loose connections, I mostly remind myself that it may take time, but we will return back to that normal. Not this month, and not next month, but slowly.
Anonymous
Co-signed. There is an energy component that I get from others that is sadly missing. I am a low-rent Emily Dickinson without the verse.
Anon
Are you permanently work from home? I am part of a variety of professional organizations. We are still mostly meeting over Zoom but absolutely plan to get back together in person. Right now, I believe they are waiting for more employers to return to some in-office work. Some are waiting until the fall. This makes me think we should do a survey. Maybe people still in WFH status would like to attend an in-person professional meet-up even if it meant commuting in just for that event.
anon
It’s going to take time for everyone to rebuild those looser social connections. Like you, I’m closer than ever with my besties. Those community relationships, though, have withered. I trust that the ones that need to come back, will come back.
If you’re missing downtown, could you set aside one a day week for working outside your home at a coffee shop or other semi-public place? Or set up coffee dates with some of the people you know you want to remain connected to.
Anonymous
Start rebuilding your life outside the office in your new area. You are likely to make new friends in your neighborhood.
Anon
A friend who is an extrovert and natural networker has been working at the cafe tables outside a coffee shop near her home several mornings a week. She’s become friendly with several regulars who do the same thing. Another friend runs with 2 different friends on different mornings each week — easier to do since they are working from home.
Anonymous
I think part of the process has to be acceptance. You know that there are many people (on this site and elsewhere) who really want their lives to look different from before. The pandemic helped them identify priorities or time sucks or what have you and they’re not going back to “normal.” I think that if you embrace that things are going to be different, you’ll be open to new opportunities to establish connections. For example, what opportunities are there in your town for volunteering where you could have a little social connection with volunteers every week?
Anonymous
If your office allows you to go to the office, I would start there. My office is not requiring anyone to go in until 2022, but you can work from there if you want. I go in on Friday and will often grab drinks with folks who are there after work. I plan to start going in 2-3 days a week.
I’ve also just started reaching out to people and planning things. No one has turned down an invite from me yet – I think a lot of people feel like you. I’ve been reaching out to all kinds of acquaintances, etc. (former coworkers, current coworkers, friends from college who live in the suburbs, etc.). I try to make the activity low stress and easy for people to get to. I’ve had the most success with making a dinner/brunch reservation at a trendier restaurant a few weeks in advance, and then a few days before, inviting random friends to fill the reservation. But I’ve also planned hikes, trips to a fun local park, trips to a new park, and I’m trying out a “beach day” this weekend (there’s a beach accessible to our city by public transportation).
PolyD
Reading along because I feel the same. Things I did as a matter of rote, will be hard to get back to. I think we will go back to the office, sort of, but on a much reduced basis. I imagine there are some colleagues I will never see again except maybe once or twice a month.
It also sounds silly, but my “routine” used to be to go to the gym a couple of times a week after work, so I deliberately chose a gym 3 minutes from my office. Depending on the time of the day, the gym is 20-30 minutes from my home, so it’s going to be a little harder to get back into that routine if I don’t go to the office. I suppose I could join a different gym, but I really like the one I go to – I like the facilities, I like my trainer, and I like the people.
I’m just hoping that once I get started again, it will be easier. It’s the getting started that’s difficult.
Anon
Reach out and try to plan something with people you haven’t seen in a while. I think a lot of people are really afraid to try to ask people because they don’t want to make them uncomfortable, but I’ve had really good responses when I’ve just been really clear that I absolutely understand if you’re not comfortable, but if you are, let’s do X. Most people seem relieved to have confirmation that they aren’t the only ones who are comfortable enough for something.
No Face
The only way to start is to start! Text the people you would get after work drinks with and see if they want to get drinks next weekend. Go to some activities – whatever those are. You can do it!
Anon
I feel you. Two years ago I was commuting to an office in a really fun part of town, and I could have lunch with friends, or meet up with people after work, or easily go to a fitness studio in the city, there were so many options and now, even though things are opening up, I’m still working from home, my company’s office hasn’t opened, and I feel somewhat “confined” to my neighborhood most days. There’s even been talk of my employer closing their office in my city, and having everyone work from home indefinitely. That would really stink.
My hope is that, over the next few months or so, I can fall into a new routine. I’ll get used to making plans after work, and going out in the evenings, and doing fun things on weekends like I did before the pandemic. I’m already kind of doing that, but it doesn’t feel normal yet.
anon
I am experiencing the same thing. The world today is so much worse than it was in 2019, it makes my head spin. The comments telling me to embrace the suckitude and accept it are just salt in the wound. Show a little empathy, people!
I think it’s key to admit that a lot of those casual friends are gone, and that we are mourning their loss in our lives. At least for me, the people I used to run into downtown were at the same place in their lives as me, and the people I live near now aren’t. No amount of pep talks will change that fact or fill their absence.
That said, keep plugging away. It takes a year or more to make new friends, but it will happen.
Anonymous
I am there with you. This board has been a rough place for anyone who felt this loss so I just wanted to say you’re not alone.
No Face
Question: why are you assuming that the casual friendships are gone forever? Why not set up a coffee, lunch or meeting with the casual friends to build deeper friendships?
Anon
Not anon – but I miss the casual relationships I had with the barista, the parking lot attendant, etc. We weren’t friends such that I would set up a coffee but we knew each other enough to ask how things were going, how the kids were, sports stuff, etc. It’s kind of sad.
No Face
Ahhh, I see. My definition of “casual friend” was more restrictive than that. I was thinking of say, a former coworker you hadn’t seen in a long time.
I thinking mourning the loss of the ancillary relationships you’re talking about is an important step in post-pandemic healing.
anon
OK, I guess I wouldn’t consider those friends, but rather loose acquaintances. I agree that it’s a loss, but I don’t think it’s something that’s gone forever.
Anonymous
Can’t you just go outside your house and you’ll run into new strangers?
Anonymous
Reading these responses, I think the answer is to start over. Like pretend you moved to a new location and are starting fresh. Find some new places to be in public. Go ahead and join the gym closer to your house vs. the one closer to work. Make small talk with your neighbor instead of the parking lot attendant. Etc, etc.
Anonymous
My advice is to stop dwelling on the favorite barista (or whatever routine faces) you used to see and focus on establishing new routines. Do you have a dog? Take him at the same time every day to the dog park. Visit the coffee shop close to your home at lunch or for an afternoon break. Join a nearby gym or runner/biking group. Schedule catch-up brunches and coffee dates. Now that I no longer spend three hours of my day commuting, I’m shocked by how much easier it is to meet up on work days with friends. Look at how you are spending weekday evenings–are there museums or cultural events or a new hobby that you can schedule in? Yes, you may not see your same parking attendant now, but I’d try to shift your mindset into having more control over your free time. It’s not easy, but when you start to build in new routines, the hole won’t feel so big.
Coach Laura
I think it’ll take time to get back to some level of social interaction that is positive for you. So a combination of things others have said:
Go back to the office 2-3 times a week if you’ve been vaccinated and are otherwise low risk and your office is low risk. Get lunch, see the baristas and other commuters.
Meet friends for low-risk outside walks, bike rides, hikes, and outside brunches and dinners now that the weather is better. Get a group of friends together for a happy hour in a bar or local hangout or perhaps in the common room of an apartment house. Have an open-house type party in your backyard or a park. You have some one on one friends – maybe include them if they want.
Get new experiences – baristas in your neighborhood, maybe join a neighborhood gym instead of one by your office.
Go kayaking or take a rope climbing course or some other activity where you can learn a fun thing around new people. Join a running or cycling club. Form a book club.
It’s almost like moving to a new city – you have to develop a new social life. Good luck to all of us in this new normal.
Anonymous
DH has asked for Bluetooth headphones for his iPhone. I started googling and I am overwhelmed.
-They don’t need to be AirPods / we’d like to spend less than airpods if there are good alternatives—if that’s the best option please weigh in on why
– he has an iPhone 12 and AT&T
– for use on conference calls while WFH so things like muting and talking should be easy.
Recs?
Ribena
There are three main types – does he know which he wants?
1 – completely wireless earbuds like AirPods
2 – the kind that are two earbuds held together with a cord but that don’t use a cable to connect to the device
3 – ‘over the head’ headphones but without a cord to connect to the device – like the Beats by Dr Dre ones.
I have a pair in the third category – the Sony WH-CH510s which are fantastic for calls and have a surprisingly long battery life. I primarily use them for Peloton rides and other workouts where I don’t want to be attached to my device.
Wirecutter is always a good place to look for info about this stuff.
For either of the two ‘earbuds’ based kinds, does he have strong preferences about wired earbuds? I do, which is why I haven’t been able to find wireless ones I like – I can’t use any of the earbuds with the squishy silicone bit because they make me feel travelsick.
Anon
I use my Beats Studio 3 and just use the mute function on my iphone instead of on the headphones when I need to mute. I’m sure there is a way through the headphones, I just haven’t bothered looking it up.
Nesprin
Yeah- I have an around the neck version by anker. Love the battery life, love that I’m not going to lose one of the dinky airpods (since they’re connected), loved the 50$ pricetag.
Anon
Muting and talking is done through the software (i.e. zoom), not through the headphones, so that shouldn’t matter. Any bluetooth headphones should work with any bluetooth phone or computer or a Smart TV with bluetooth, so phone brand and carrier doesn’t matter. I use my AirPods with my personal iPhone, work iPhone, Mac laptop, PC desktop and Samsung Smart TV.
I have AirPods Pro because I got them with credit card points and I love them. My BF and a good friend have the Jabra Elite and they love them too. My housekeeper has some cheap ones that were like $30 and she says she likes them. A coworker has Bose over-the-ear ones and loves them.
I think as long as they fit his ears comfortably, you really can’t go wrong.
Anonymous
Is it always the case that muting is done through the software? I used to use wired headphones with my iPhone while traveling all the time and there was a mute button and microphone on the cord. Granted, this was for phone calls and not video stuff, but i found it way easier to speak/talk into the mic than the phone when on the road.
Anon
No, if you are having a call through Teams or Zoom or whatever you can’t use your headphones to mute the call. Of course you can still use the microphone.
MagicUnicorn
My Plantronics mute through the headphones on Teams or Zoom…
Anon
This isn’t true, if your microphone is able to mute you can use that mute function. I don’t know that many headphones have this ability, though.
Annony
I have a Jabra wireless headset and you can mute by pulling the mic boom up. It’s very handy, and very easy to know whether you’re muted or not.
A.
I only have experience with the AirPods Pro and I love them more than I’ve loved any techy device EVER. I’m also an iPhone user and these were an anomaly for me because I rarely get the top-of-the-line Apple product. I’m sure they have drawbacks, but they’re super idiot-proof, comfortable, the battery lasts all day, and I just…love them. Worth the $$$ if you can swing it, especially if he’s already in the Apple universe.
Cat
Same. My husband has Beats (they are also Apple) and loves them. Effortless pairing, no tech issues, comfortable.
Anon
+1 to Beats (I posted below) – the AirPods and AirPod pros fell out of my ears.
Patricia Gardiner
Yeah me too… the noise cancelling works really well, they pair seamlessly to my Apple devices, there is an easy squeeze to stop/start function, battery is long-lasting, ability to charge wirelessly is fun… so easy. I’m glad I spent the $.
Anonymous
What do you love about them? He doesn’t really know much about them either and has asked me to do the leg work and pick for him as part of the present :).
My default was to just grab airpods since that’s what people like but…I feel like there could be other good or even better choices out there?
Cat
Good battery life, ability to wear just one at a time (either ear) with full functionality, zero issues with bad Bluetooth connectivity, design is comfortable in the ear, good sound quality (listening and talking), option to have noise cancelling OR tr-nsparency (great for allowing you to hear your own voice so you don’t talk too loudly inadvertently).
Anon
AirPods are worth it. Just get them. Or ask him to do the research labor since it’s not fair that burden is placed on you if it’s a gift.
Anonymous
I think the point is that the research work is part of the gift.
Bonnie Kate
+1 to AirPods Pros. I did not think I needed them. I did not especially want them. Husband got them for me because we were living in a small space and I liked working out to loud music. To my immense surprise, I absolutely love them and use them all the time, especially at work. Reasons why:
-The call clarity – both speaker and microphone – is the best. If I’m going to be on a phone call for any length of time, I put in the AirPods.
-they just work easily – for example, I can put them in and switch to using them for a call seamlessly and automatically. As soon as one is in my ear, my iPhone switches it over. Honestly that integration that consistently and reliably works all of the time is kind of magically to me. I’m used to tech being more finicky and my AirPods are the least finicky thing.
-okay, so I did have one problem with my right AirPods dying/not charging. I took it back to the Apple store and walked out with a new replacement one in 10 minutes.
-finally, they’re comfortable and stay in my ear. I never liked earbud type headphones and found them uncomfortable. the AirPods are super comfortable and stay in my ear. I even taught a virtual yoga class with them in and had no issues with them falling out.
Anon
I tried all the fancy ones and my favorite are the beats by Apple. They hook over my ears and stay on, and are the most comfortable of the Apple line. They also pretty seamlessly hook up with my work Comp, which isn’t Apple and have good audio quality. They come in a lot of colors, but some neutrals too.
Anononon
Not to be a hater, by I was really disappointed with my Airpods Pro. Battery life was only a few hours and they didn’t connect well with my computer for calls. They’d be connected just fine for several days, then I’d have several days in a row where it was one headache after another to keep them connected. One died after about 6 months and I just returned them (thank you, Costco!) rather than get them repaired or replaced. I now use the AfterShokz OpenComm and I love them. I use them while exercising outdoors, so I like the ability to hear what’s around me, and all day for work phone calls and listening to music quietly. Battery lasts ALL day. Stays connected to my computer without hiccups. Very happy.
Anon
Just get the air pods, they’re game changers.
Anonymous
I have Air Pods Pro and they’re okay, but I got them on sale and don’t think I would’ve paid full price for them. They don’t stay in my ears if I’m listening while doing yoga, the sound is fine but not groundbreaking, and you can’t mute them or adjust the volume without using your phone. They could be better for the price.
Anon
I really like Bose SoundSport
Anonymous
I LOVE my Sony WF-SP800 earbuds. Super comfortable ear design that doesn’t budge (I hate most earbuds), holds a charge ridiculously long, options for noise canceling and ambient sound and waterproof for when I use them jogging outside. I use them with my iPhone and MacBook and have never had a problem—easy sync.
Anonymous
Did anyone read the gripping Vanity Fair article about the lab leak hypothesis? I was going to try to find a few sentences from it to summarize my thoughts, but it’s so long and detailed that it’s just impossible. The best I can do is say that a toxic mix of risky infectious disease research with numerous conflicts of interest, authoritarian crackdowns on information from both China and the US, and inflammatory nativism from Donald Trump (against his backdrop of zero scientific credibility – “inject bleach!”) hampered true scientific inquiry and we’re only just now recognizing the damage. I’m reminded for the 3,000th time this pandemic of the dangers of blind trust in opinion pieces and “official” statements and of the importance of critical analysis and scientific on complex issues. I think it looks more likely than not that the pandemic emerged from a lab leak from WIV and that a complete investigation to ascertain the cause of the pandemic is urgently needed. However you interpret the information, I highly recommend this fascinating article. My attention span has been so wrecked in the age of smartphones, but I read every single word.
https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2021/06/the-lab-leak-theory-inside-the-fight-to-uncover-covid-19s-origins
Anonymous
Nah I’m not doing this again on a Monday morning
Anon
+1
Anonymous
It’s an excellent article and is really making me rethink my position on the social and political spectrum.
Anonymous
What do you mean?
Anonymous
I mean that I jumped on the bandwagon and dismissed the possibility too. I shouldn’t have, and I’m ashamed I was so unscientific because of social pressure. Going forward I need to be better about thinking for myself and putting fact above politics.
anonshmanon
I don’t think you need to feel bad for dismissing something that was heavily pushed by a group of people who pushed all sorts of conspiracies. You could go forward with carefully evaluating everything that QAnon blurts out, or you could continue dismissing them until a reputable source of news presents evidence. I don’t blame you for doing the latter, since I assume your day only has 24 hours.
I am also not sure what would change if we had evidence for the lab leak. I would still wear a mask to grocery shop. I would still have gotten a vaccine as soon as it was available. I would still expect elected officials to enact public safety measures to curb the spread.
Anonymous
Oh yeah, I agree and get it. In our defense, we were bombarded with a lot of demands on our mental energy (and still are), but it’s a good reminder for the future that it’s dangerous to draw sweeping conclusions based on no evidence.
Anon
I appreciate you sharing the article. I hadn’t seen it and plan on reading it later.
Anon
I don’t want to invest mental energy in this. The truth will emerge eventually, probably 50 years from now. Just give it time. If it’s truly a lab leak, some retired Chinese scientist will likely tell the world the truth before he/she passes away and has nothing else to lose. If it’s completely natural, science will have evolved far enough to figure out the true cause. When the great influenza virus first came out, there was a theory that it emerged from China too (though obviously not a lab). This theory was eventually debunked when modern scientists determined it originated from a US military base (though nowadays you will still find crazy conspiracy theorists saying it originated from China).
Anonymous
I can’t agree with that approach. We deserve a full investigation now, not only to acknowledge that over 3.5 million people have died and that their deaths need explaining, but to inform the discussion about preventing the next pandemic. What’s the point of investing billions of dollars into collecting samples from bats all over the world if the real action that needs to be taken is strict international cooperation and limits on gain-of-function research? It’s not the time to throw up our hands and say “oh well, time will out.” That would be anti-scientific AND anti-democratic.
anonshmanon
I actually think that this political finger pointing (though it may be grounded in truth) is entirely distracting us from preventing the next pandemic. Through MERS, bid flu and H1N1 we already knew that zoonotic pandemics are a thing that can happen. Preparedness, unified messaging and a strong public health system and leaders who don’t actively malign and reject science could have prevented many deaths.
Anon
+1
Anon
Except gain-of-function research is the difference between the death rate of H1N1 and COVID – i.e. approximately ten times as many people died, even with lockdowns, social distancing, mask-wearing, AND a vaccine.
Anon
I guess I am wasting mental energy by arguing with you. Here’s the thing. Even if we assume it was lab made, no matter how the US tries to push for an investigation, the evidence is likely destroyed already, and you won’t find any anyone willing to say what happened until they are at the end of their lives. So what does all this finger pointing accomplish? If anything, it’s pushing us one step closer to a World War III/nuclear destruction of the entire planet by worsening US-China relations. What purpose does it serve if the truth will emerge eventually, and an answer is practically impossible in the short term?
Anonymous
that already happened… pay attention
Anon
What already happened? Please be specific and identify your source. This is how fake news spread.
Anonymous
Does anyone really care? Not exactly like it was released on purpose and pretty sure DJT and co would have tried to cover up any similarly problematic releases if they happened in the US so not shocking that if it was an unintended release that they tried to cover it up. Anti-asian attacks are bad enough as it is without this sensationalism making it worse.
Anonymous
Um yeah, it does matter…a lot. It’s one thing not to personally care, but to act like the world shouldn’t care? Yikes.
Anonymous
Why tho? Lab leaks happen, labs learn to be more careful. The end.
Anon
Do they learn? The history of lab leaks that I’ve read made it seem like they’re doing their best and it’s just not enough. For me this does raise questions about what kind of research we should be doing. My understanding is that “gain of function” research and self-spreading vaccine research are already controversial among experts for exactly this reason.
Anon
+1
Anon
Did you also read the WIred article on the “The 60-Year-Old Scientific Screwup That Helped Covid Kill”? I linked it here a few days ago, and I can’t stop thinking about it.
Anonymous
No but I will check it out! Thanks.
Anon
I’m a microbiologist, so well aware of how common biosafety lapses are and always thought it was a possibility that researchers accidentally infected themselves with a natural virus in the field or when growing it in the lab. But based on the genome sequence, it seems very very unlikely that the virus was engineered in any way. There are no signs of it and no logical reason anyone would modify a virus in this way- it’s not the way the Chinese researchers proposed to in their gain of function proposal. I think gain of function research is a bad idea because it does pose risks without much scientific benefit. I also think that natural sources of viruses have shown to be real risks, over and over again, and ultimately it doesn’t matter which one was responsible in this case (and think there’s a good chance we will never be sure), we need to take both seriously as future threats.
Anonymous
There’s a piece in the WSJ this AM that seems to contradict or at least raise questions on some portions of the COVID genetic sequence (on the spike protein) that appear to have non-natural origins because proliferate in gain of function research.
Anon
Yeah, I’ve seen some of that stuff, but nothing that convincing. It’s certainly a possibility I won’t rule out completely, and like I said, I think gain of function research is a bad idea regardless of whether it caused this pandemic. I think this stuff should be investigated, I’m just super skeptical that anything will ever come out if it really was the case that it came from a Chinese lab… and likewise from a natural source, now that so much time has passed and so many people have had it. 50 years later and we still don’t know the natural reservoir for Ebola for sure!
Anonymous
The Vanity Fair article also contains a link to an excellent piece in the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists that discusses how there is no obvious manipulation (except for the furin cleavage site that still poses an open question), but how there are “invisible” techniques for modifying viruses that don’t leave obvious trails. That’s exactly why a full investigation is needed – because we can’t tell what the heck is going on in the evidence that is available now.
https://thebulletin.org/2021/05/the-origin-of-covid-did-people-or-nature-open-pandoras-box-at-wuhan/
Anon
Right, I’ve seen all that stuff, and there’s still nothing that looks like what someone would decide to do if they wanted to deliberately make a virus more infectious to people. As a scientist, when you make the choice to engineer a microbe, you have to make a decision to insert a gene that you think will do what you want and I don’t know why you would ever chose the genetic changes that we ended up seeing- they’re not the optimal predicted ones and they’re not based on sequences in any other known organism, which is where I would start and what they said they were going to do. Instead, we see changes that look exactly like what you’d expect from natural evolution (or the type of gain of function experiment that’s basically evolution in the lab, which IS a definite possibility, though nobody has said they were doing this). It just doesn’t seem all that logical that this would be lab engineered, though I wouldn’t rule it out completely.
The thing that gets me is that what really caused this pandemic is not really about the change in the spike protein, but the much less predictable stuff about the way our immune systems responded and the way it spread really effectively as aerosols. We had a massive pandemic not because this virus was super lethal, but because a lot of people don’t get sick at all, people are most contagious before they feel sick, and some people’s immune systems overreact in a way that kills them. None of that is predictable from cell culture or mouse/ferret research, which is part of why I think gain of function research is a waste of time and unneeded risk.
Anon
We definitely need way more research into immunity right now. Between autoimmune disease, allergies, immune deficiency, and contagious disease, it would really help to understand individual, genetic, and environmental factors better than we do. And it could even end up informing other areas (oncology, infertility, etc.).
Anon4this
I want to sit next to you anon at 1:37.
unicorn
I’m a former molecular biologist, and I disagree with your conclusion. I think the hallmarks the Bulletin of Atomic Research piece pointed out (furin cleavage site and double CGG-CGG that goes against the codon preference of every other known coronavirus) are strong circumstantial evidence of genetic engineering. The fact that the Wuhan researchers didn’t insert a full gene, optimal or otherwise, doesn’t mean they weren’t tinkering with the virus before it escaped their poorly-run lab.
It is important, because NIH was funding this Chinese laboratory – God knows why we send ANY research funding to China of all places. If Chinese researchers were doing gain-of-function research that had been internationally banned, obviously this should have consequences.
And for people who have blindly swallowed the idea that an investigation somehow will promote anti-Asian sentiment – it makes me sad that you think your fellow Americans are so stupid that they can’t distinguish between Asian Americans and the Chinese government.
Help
Hi Ladies, any recommendations for a good therapist to work through some self-identity and confidence issues? I’m in the Chicago-area but would consider anyone I could see virtually regardless of location.
Anon
I really like Dr. Alix Sherman. I see her via phone now but used to meet IRL pre-pandemic. She’s great.
Anon
In a fun but hectic time of year where I’m gone pretty much every weekend (everyone I’m seeing is fully vaccinated, mostly just weekend/long weekend trips to see family and friends now that we can!). For the next 6 weeks or so, I’m not in the same place for more than a few days at a time (like out of town for a 3 day weekend, home for 4 days, away again).
I’m also back in the office ~4 days a week and am getting back to my pre pandemic life of go to work, workout, meet up with people, repeat. For example- I got home this morning, I have plans tonight, Wednesday and Thursday and then I leave again Friday AM.
This was my pace before the pandemic and I loved it. I’m an active extrovert so I thrive here but after 18 months of not living like this I feel a little untethered. I am trying to prioritize healthy choices (good sleep, workouts, healthy meals).
When you’re busy (and happy about it!) how do you feel like you have your life “together”?
Ribena
Every third Sunday is blocked off in my calendar automatically for a ‘take it easy’ day. Sometimes that means spontaneous plans, sometimes that means a duvet day, sometimes that means catching up on groceries or cleaning
Anonymous
You aren’t prioritizing healthy choices or feeling tethered. Full stop. If you want things to change, you’ll need to make changes.
Anon
You can make healthy choices while being busy. They’re not mutually exclusive.
The idea of having a plan for food when you get back from being out of town is a great example.
A.
I’m a paper planner user so I have to set aside time to plan. This allows me to understand what’s on my list so that I know what absolutely has to get done on the days when I don’t have other plans. For example, if I were you I’d use tomorrow (your free evening) to make a packing list/set aside your stuff for your out of town trip, put in a grocery delivery order for when you return, and throw in a load of laundry (I hate coming home to a pile of chores). This would also be a season of life where I’d have home stuff in “maintenance” mode — no big DIY or cleanout projects on the docket, since there’s not time to devote to them. Having my home relatively tidy also makes me feel more OK with being busy — it’s when my house is a disaster that I start to feel as though life is going off the rails.
Elodie
That used to be my life, due to work travel and a busy social life (and trying to date…gosh, the added stress of trying to squeeze in coffee dates). A few things that helped me: Have a plan for food the day you get home – if you have good takeout options, plan on those, or, make sure you have some oatmeal in the pantry and frozen ingredients (e.g. seeds and dried fruit for said oatmeal) in the fridge. When I got home, I also felt like I needed to ground myself a bit – a regular 20 minute yoga video in my apartment because that grounding station for me, my way of signaling to my body “I’m home now”. I also found I needed to keep 1 evening free a week, otherwise I’d start to feel very untethered; I suggest you schedule some “at home” time now. Have fun!
Anon
maybe you need practice to get back to where you were pre pandemic and instead of going from zero to one hundred right away you should ease in a bit
Elodie
Oh, and, maybe you know this already, but, just buy a 2nd set of toiletries, chargers, and other essentials and keep them in your suitcase at all times! Make your packing and unpacking as easy and stress free as possible.
anon
It’s very hard for me to relate to this at all, but I do think you need to establish some blocks of time to handle basic life requirements, or you’re going to burn out hard and fast. You’re an adult; not every moment is going to be fun and action-packed.
Anonymous
This. There’s no solution other than learning that it doesn’t work to be away every weekend and out every night.
Anonymous
If you pay someone to clean your home and cook your food, it’s a lot easier to be on the go constantly.
Anonymous
Can’t relate to this at all in terms of that much social activity, but I say go for it. You had over a year to sit home and make healthy meals and get enough sleep. It’s OK to live a little for a while. I am an introvert with a high-risk condition and I am doing absolutely everything I can to seize the day again, especially while decent weather lasts here (no brutal summer temps yet). I’ve always said there’s nothing worse than wasting a Saturday on laundry and cleaning the bathroom and that’s more true than ever right now.
OP
That Saturday comment is so true!!
I’m in public health so my past 1.5 years has been hectic (and unhealthy) in another way, so I’m trying to actually have fun and enjoy my life now! I’m still trying to focus on getting enough sleep and eating my vegetables bc neither of those things happened for the last several months
Anonymous
Gotcha. What I recommend then is go hard during the day, but get back home at a reasonable hour so you can sleep. Think a day trip to the beach with friends, but you get home and do dinner and bed on your own. Then you feel like you spent the day well, but you’re not completely overextended and exhausted.
OP
Love that suggestion! Thanks!
Cat
Honestly we enjoy making the most of our weekends too, but we need one “at home reset” weekend no less than every 3 weeks or life goes to h-ll in a handbasket.
Little house maintenance projects, time-intensive errands like shopping for a new appliance or couch, really digging in and tending & weeding the garden, re-organizing our travel stuff from the last trip and getting it cleaned and ready to go again, all of it makes me feel ‘unsettled’ if left unattended for too long, and although we try to do basic stuff after work, asking me to help hang a ceiling fan at 9pm is not going to end well.
No Face
I am an introvert. Before the pandemic, one social activity in a weekend was more than enough for me.
I went to six (!!!) different things this weekend with different groups of people and it was amazing. I feel more alive than I have during the entire pandemic. I still prioritized sleep. I have giant premade salads and frozen fruit for smoothies available.
Social connection is a need like food or sleep and I have a massive deficit from this pandemic. Priotizing those connections is self care.
Anon
My schedule was like this for years due to a travel heavy job and lots of socializing while on trips. I made a point of not socializing at home when I was in town. I needed those days reading a book in a comfy chair as much as I needed the 8 person dinners at a restaurant I’d always wanted to try.
Anon
I am in the exact same boat – getting back to my busy, extroverted routine. For me, I’m learning that one of the keys for staying balanced is to watch how much I drink on those weeknight evenings, which I didn’t necessarily do a good job of before the pandemic. Happy hour after work for two hours, where I have a glass of wine and then switch to water? I get home and can run out to the store for milk, make an easy but healthy dinner, do dishes/wipe down the kitchen, water my plants, clean the bathroom, read for a bit, and still be asleep by 11 so I wake up the next morning feeling rested. Happy hour after work for two hours, where I drink four cocktails? I get home and am not motivated to do anything, order greasy delivery and leave the cartons piled on the counter, veg in front of the TV, and wake up the next morning feeling fuzzy.
OP
Oh that is such a good idea! I’m looking to cut down my drinking for health / anxiety / weight reasons but the spillover impacts are so real.
A.
Anyone have tips for quickly growing out/protecting a split thumbnail? After a gel manicure gone wrong (note to self: there’s a reason you stopped getting these), I have two split thumbnails. I find these really hard to grow out b/c, well, I use my thumbs a lot and any pressure splits the nail imperceptibly further. Other than keeping them cut super short so they don’t snag…ideas?
Anon
They make a nail glue that you can use to glue the nail back together. Maybe that and a coat of clear polish to help protect it?
Anonymous
I take a little piece of lightweight interfacing or tea bag, stick it down with brush-on nail glue (comes in a nail polish-type bottle, not the superglue type that comes in a tiny tube with no brush), and cover it with topcoat.
No Face
I used nail glue successfully for this purpose.
Anon
To fix a split/broken nail, I use a piece clipped out of a tea bag (to provide a protective fabric) and then super glue it into place. It’s not perfect, but it works really well!
Anon
Patch. That’s the word. Use a piece cut out of a tea bag as a patch.
If you look it up, you can find lots of good videos.
Anon
I’ve done the same thing with a coffee filter. Works great.
Anonymous
I don’t know how bad your split is, mine doesn’t go the full thickness of the nail and I’ve had good luck using Get Well Nail Recovery by Londontown. It sort of looks like a clear polish but my split is looking better already.
Anon
Wear a bandaid every day.
Anonymous
Thank you so much for asking this and for all the responses. I have two small splits on my big toenail on my left foot right now (What the heck did I drop? Am I eating wrong?) and didn’t think there was anything I could do. This is bad enough, but a thumb would be pure misery. Just know you made this internet stranger feel so much better today!
X X
Nail aid works.well for faster growth. Less than 10 bucks amazon
Anonymous
I’m trying to think through what to do about communication for a kid old to roam a bit by himself but not old enough for a cell phone. It occurs to me that when I was this age (older elementary school, or preteen), I had access to my home phone and could make arrangements with friends in the neighborhood and could use my friends’ phones to call to inform my parents that I had made it to my destination or ask if I could stay longer, etc. Now, my 9-year-old and his neighborhood friends rely on parents texting one another. I’d prefer to give him more agency, but obviously he is not getting a cell phone any time soon, and none of his friends have one either, so even if I did get him one, it wouldn’t really serve the purpose I am thinking of. Maybe the whole neighborhood can buy their kids old Nokia phones (mostly a joke (?!))
Anonymous
Get him a basic locked down phone. They absolutely still exist.
anon
A Gizmo watch is what everyone in my neighborhood uses until the kids are old enough to handle a legit phone.
Anon
+1 for Gizmo kids. My rising third grader is going to likely get one this summer or fall, as I see how nicely it’s working with several of her friends, and it’ll give her a little more independence and confidence. She has a Garmin Jr watch now, so she’s showing responsibility by remembering to wear it, taking good care of it, and coming back home by the time we decide. It feels like a good first step to the Gizmo.
Both of my kids also have FB Messenger Kids to “text” with friends to set up the next meetup. It’s nice to start talking about social media already but in a super low-stakes way. They also have grandparents as friends, so we’ve already talked about sending pictures and how grandparents can save those pictures and show them to their own friends. And how friends can save the photo, draw on it, and then send it to someone else.
My DH has photoshop so he saved one of the pictures they sent him via Messenger Kids, used PS to add a hand with a middle finger, and then sent it to me saying “Can you believe the kids sent this?”. The kids were SHOCKED that someone could do that, and I hope it helps put some context on not trusting pictures and videos. These types of discussions are going to be ongoing for at least a year before we consider getting them even a basic locked down phone, since it’s not that hard to break into a phone, esp for kids who have spent the last year learning all the hacks for school issued Chromebooks.
Anonymous
my daughter’s friends have Gizmo watches for basically this exact reason as well as for when they are allowed to stay home alone.
I’d love Gizmo alternatives, or ways to get a kid whose parents use AT&T one :) As soon as I figure it out we’ll get one for her.
AFT
FWIW, this has been discussed in various parents groups I’m in, and some people have just gotten the $5/mo verizon plan for the Gizmo only, as alternatives are limited.
Anonymous
OP here. Thanks, this is really helpful to know.
AFT
We use a gizmo for when kid(s) (they share one device, ages 8 and 10) are out on their own and we want to be able to get ahold of them. Kids often come home and say “can we go to teh park with ___ at ___?” or “can you text ___’s mom about a play date on Sunday?” They also have FB messenger kids, so do some planning there (and then I usually text the mom saying, “hey, does plan actually work?”
SSJD
We keep a flip phone at home for this purpose. Kids use it as the home line (we do not have a landline). It’s a pain to text on it, but kids could if needed. Mostly it’s used to call someone to ask “do you want to play now?” My preference though is for the kids to just head out and knock on each others’ doors!
AC or Death
I would raise several politely-worded stinks to 1) get the AC repaired and 2) get a discount on the rent. Also, isn’t Fort Hunt in Fairfax County? Do an online search for Fairfax County Tenant Resource Sheet. They have an email address for tenants whose AC doesn’t work beginning on May 15, which makes me think there must be some sort of county-wide regulation. Get your local Ffx Board of Supervisor involved if needed.
I disagree with the posters who say just deal with it. I’m also in NoVa and it has been HOT recently. This isn’t like a New England hot–this is high temps and high humidity that can cause heat stroke. And it’s not just a matter of inconvenience. If you have family members with health issues, babies, or pets, this could be very problematic. I’d raise a stink if you’re paying 4K. Be polite, firm, and persistent. The reality is that he probably needs to replace is whole HVAC system. Short-term, I’d invest in fans and dehumidifiers.
Anon
Would you expect a discount on rent if you were without working AC for 19 days?
We moved in May 1, and the AC actually hasn’t worked the entire time we’ve been here, we just didn’t know since temps were favorable. Once it started heating up here in DC, I contacted the landlord and said the system couldn’t keep up. Our landlord is a father-daughter pair, and the daughter was good about calling a repairman, but between service calls, ordering parts, more service calls, ordering more parts, it’s been 19 days. As I type, it’s 83* in the house.
The HVAC has apparently been crap for years – the previous tenant we met on a walk-thru hinted that the system didn’t work well, but didn’t say so outright since the leasing agent who was present was a cousin of the father-daughter. When a neighbor came over to introduce herself, she asked how the house was and seemed surprised that we were pleased with it – she mentioned that a previous long-term tenant had to do battle with the LL over needed repairs and improvements, including moving out one winter and withholding rent til they got the heat repaired. The repairman said the system was over 20 years old and well past its useful life. I feel like a responsible LL would have replaced the system in the 10 days between us and the last tenant…or when it quit working and the last tenant withheld rent.
We’re off to a rough start with the LL – the grass was a foot tall when we moved in and is our responsibility according to the lease, so I emailed and said she needed to send someone out because no way was that the way I expected to receive the house; a painter came over to the house unannounced at 6:30 pm on a weeknight and proceeded to stay for 2+ hours – we eventually had to ask him to leave and told the LL we didn’t appreciate workmen dropping by without warning in the evening; the ceiling in the three season room leaks and when we told her, she said they knew (ok, and…?). When the AC first failed, we asked them if they’d install ceiling fans in the bedrooms upstairs, the father said no, he wanted to see if the AC worked before spending extra money, so we’ve been using portable fans that we bought.
I’m quite sure our weeks of poor sleep and the heat are making us cranky, but we’re wondering if it’s reasonable to want/expect/ask for a break on rent. Most of a month without working AC in northern Virginia isn’t ok. It’s not like we’re living in a budget rental – we’re in a $1M home (in Fort Hunt, NoVA ladies) and paying $4k/month in rent. The father bought the house in 1978 for $132k, so we’re feeling pretty put out that he wouldn’t even spend a couple hundred to install ceiling fans while we roasted.
Quick question
Yeah, I would expect a break on the rent. Check your state’s laws though.
Anon
If all the LL cares about is money and you have plenty of money, I’d ask whether he cared if I bought/had installed the things I wanted. I’m not sure how long you plan to be there. For a long term rental, it is absolutely worth it. I’m not saying you should buy a new AC system of course but something like a ceiling fan isn’t outrageous. But, I’m kind of with the LL on the ceiling fan. That’s a permanent change for a short term problem. If I was the LL, I probably would have bought you a portable AC unit or a window AC unit to use in the bedroom until the AC was fixed.
Anonymous
Oh gross I really hate those types of landlords, I’m sorry. There’s honestly nothing you can do to ‘make’ them do the right thing, so you just have to cut your losses and leave as soon as you can.
Monday
No, there is something you can do! When I lived in DC and we had no heat for over a week during the winter, we contacted the city council. They were ON IT. We got a pro-rated rent deduction for the duration of the time without heat, and I also think the landlord had to pay fines per unit affected. Very satisfying.
Anon
No heat and no AC are very different though. As uncomfortable as it is, no AC in DC won’t kill you, no heat could (which is why utility companies do shutoff moratoriums in the winter, but not the summer).
No AC in DC totally sucks and your landlord sounds awful but you probably dont have much recourse here, other than moving when your lease is up.
For reference- grew up not too far away from DC in a house without AC. Would rub ice cubes over myself before going to bed. It wasn’t great but it was doable.
Anon
Heat kills people every summer (especially at home in apartments that overheat).
Anon
Anon at 12:32 here.
I should have specified, but of course heat kills people too.
However, it’s generally extraordinary circumstances (heat waves) or vulnerable populations (the elderly). Normal NOVA heat without AC will not kill a healthy adult. There are plenty of people in plenty of places in much hotter conditions who survive. Not having AC in DC/NOVA is a first world problem. It’s 100% uncomfortable and inconvenient and unpleasant (grew up this way in the 90s-00s), but it’s not on the same level of danger as no heat (hence different rules about shut offs).
Anon
I thought the issue was partly that many buildings aren’t designed for adequate ventilation when AC isn’t running, so it becomes far too warm? But I am one of the vulnerable people who can no longer safely do heat, so my perspective is probably skewed. I grew up without AC too and used to really dislike it, but medical conditions and meds that lower heat tolerance definitely make a huge difference.
Anonymous
I would email the LL and tell them you expect to have the AC fixed by X and if not will be buying a portable AC unit for each inhabited bedroom (like, ones where you actually have a person sleeping at night) and will deduct it from the month’s rent. Frankly, I would have put that in writing after the first week of no AC.
Anon
In Boston there are tenant laws that define what habitable temperatures are in the winter. Our apartment does not have AC and that’s pretty typical in New England, so can’t relate on the summer front but you better believe that if our apartment was consistently below the minimum temperature in the winter, I’d be making a big stink and potentially either withholding rent or breaking the lease if not resolved promptly.
Flats Only
And it’s only going to get hotter. Honestly, knowing NoVa, your LL is just sitting on the property, trying to put in as little $$ as possible, knowing they can sell it for $$$$$$ when and if they decide to, regardless of its condition. Short term I would pick up a cheap window AC unit at a big box hardware store so you can sleep comfortably at night. And then get a lawyer to send LLs a letter threatening to break the lease and/or file a complaint via the info here:
https://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/cableconsumer/csd/tenant-landlord
Anonymous
I’m sorry I feel like people are throwing stuff out with out any knowledge. A landlord is not required to provide ac. I would just buy a window unit
Anon4this
In Virginia, if the a/c is there and provided by the LL when the tenant moved in and is not solely within the tenant’s control, then yes, the LL is required by law to keep the air conditioning working. The LL is not required to provide a/c if it doesn’t exist on the properry when the tenant moves in.
Anon
I don’t have AC so not sure about the rent reduction for that, but I think your ceiling fan request is unreasonable- those can be as complicated to install as AC. You need electricity to run to them and most ceilings aren’t wired.
Anon
This is a weird take? Most ceilings are wired because they have lights. I have literally never heard that ceiling fans are more expensive/complicated than a/c.
Anon
Guessing poster’s not in the US.
Anon
Ah! That makes a lot more sense then!
Anonymous Grouch
Poster is in the US – she mentioned Northern VA, and even the neighborhood. I live nearby, and since this is a older home (she mentions 1978) there may not be lights in the ceiling (certainly not the multiple can lights that have been popular in recent decades). So yes adding a ceiling fan would be a little trickier. OTOH, my husband put one in our bedroom in an afternoon, and he found the power somewhere in the attic. He’s not an electrician, but our house has not burned down yet, so I think this is a handyman level job at most, if not straight DIY.
Anon
The poster at 10:50, not the OP.
anon
I’m in the SEUS, and I’m a landlord. My units all have ceiling fans, but I agree that I wouldn’t just install one because a tenant’s AC was out, vs. working to solve the AC problem. A ceiling fan does require wiring, which requires an electrician if it’s not wired, and this stuff isn’t always as simple as just running a wire. Also, if the place is old, the drywall is likely to crack and break when you cut the box for the fan, so then you end up re-mudding and repainting the ceiling. What seems like a simple job can turn into a pretty large one. Then, some renters and buyers don’t like ceiling fans, especially if there’s low clearance or it’s a historical home, so that limits your potential pool of future renters and buyers.
Anon
Would you give a tenant a break on rent if they didn’t have AC for 3 weeks in the summer?
anon
I replied below that I probably would grant some reduction, for goodwill/ wanting to keep a good tenant. (It’s not required in my state.) Then again, I just looked at my spreadsheet from the last time my tenant’s AC broke, and it looks like we collected the full rent for that month. We do have window units we keep on hand, so my husband installed those, so at least the bedrooms were cool. I don’t think the AC was broken for as long as 3 weeks, but if I recall correctly, it was around 2, and that was in 2019, before the current shortages.
Anonymous
It’s only been hot here for like 5 days.
Bean74
I don’t know about a rent reduction but FWIW our non-responsive property manager in a high rise near you (Huntington) emailed the residents to let us know that non-working AC when the outside temp is above 80 is considered an emergency.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. This past weekend must have been brutal.
Anonymous
I agree this is going to depend on your local laws, but it is certainly worth pushing for a break in the rent. It sounds like you don’t have much to loose at this point.
While you figure out the A/C issue, put cheap box fans in the window. I think it works best if the fan is sucking air out during the day, and blowing air in at night. This will probably be much more effective than a ceiling fan assuming the outside temperature drops at night. Also, installing ceiling fans is going to create mess and headache that will annoy you, undoubtedly with workers who arrive at 6:30 pm and leave a pile of plaster dust on your bed.
anon
I’m a landlord, and I am not at all surprised it’s taking this long to fix the AC. Last time one of my apartment’s AC was out (2019?), it took at least 2 weeks to fix. Right now, there’s a shortage on everything related to construction–parts, labor, materials, etc., so I’m not surprised it would take a month or longer. I’ve been waiting on a custom-made fiberglass door for 11 months! From what I hear from my HVAC repair guys, AC systems are most likely to malfunction at the beginning of the season (or at least be noticed then) or at the summer peak, so there are a couple of weeks when they’re super busy and there may be an even larger shortage.
I have 2 portable AC units on hand that I use whenever someone’s AC goes out, so the first thing I would do is install those in the bedrooms. As for a reduction in rent, that depends–I would definitely reimburse you for the fans you bought, and I’d probably offer something like 25% for goodwill (more if your rent was less).
As for whether a responsible landlord would have replaced the system when the heater went out, that depends on the problem(s) with each. It’s possible the landlord replaced the blower or furnace for the heat last winter, and now the AC compressor is malfunctioning. Or it’s possible they’re just patching things up as they go along, and it malfunctions every year.
NYCer
+1. I own a rental house, and sometimes AC repairs just take a while.
FWIW, my tenants paid full rent the last time the AC broke. I cannot remember how long it was out. They used fans in the interim (granted, the house is not in an area as hot as DC in the summer, and many homes in the area do not have central air).
AC or Death
Reposting due to nesting fail…I would raise several politely-worded stinks to 1) get the AC repaired and 2) get a discount on the rent. Also, isn’t Fort Hunt in Fairfax County? Do an online search for Fairfax County Tenant Resource Sheet. They have an email address for tenants whose AC doesn’t work beginning on May 15, which makes me think there must be some sort of county-wide regulation. Get your local Ffx Board of Supervisor involved if needed.
I disagree with the posters who say just deal with it. I’m also in NoVa and it has been HOT recently. This isn’t like a New England hot–this is high temps and high humidity that can cause heat stroke. And it’s not just a matter of inconvenience. If you have family members with health issues, babies, or pets, this could be very problematic. I’d raise a stink if you’re paying 4K. Be polite, firm, and persistent. The reality is that he probably needs to replace is whole HVAC system. Short-term, I’d invest in fans and dehumidifiers.
Anonymous
You sound like you’re not accustomed to maintenance that comes with living in a SFH, particularly an older home. You’re renting an older home from an individual, not a luxury apartment from a huge company that has a staff full of maintenance people and awesome relationships with local contractors who will prioritize them. The LL is working on it, right? You say they’ve had people out there for service calls and ordering parts and such? This stuff takes time, unfortunately. I own my home and I have to deal with the same kinds of delays. It took me a couple weeks to get my AC replaced when it went out, and that was in like March not in the middle of a heat wave when everyone’s AC is breaking. It took four months (!!!) to get a big patch of siding replaced when a storm ripped it off, even though I was on top of it. It’s definitely a shock to the system if you’re used to living in high rises, but it’s just really hard to get work done on your home as an individual. I think it would only be fair to withhold rent or pursue legal action if the owner is doing nothing to fix it, which doesn’t sound like it’s the case.
Quick question
Is there an equivalent of Goodr for prescription sunglasses? I’d like to get a few cheap pairs for the summer but I can’t wear contacts so I need them to be prescription. TIA for any recs!
Anon
I assume Warby Parker glasses won’t work for you / you don’t like their styles? At $100-ish per pair, they’re pretty dang affordable.
Anon
For Rx??? Warby Parker is several hundred dollars for Rx sunglasses, at least with my lenses.
Anon
My glasses with my prescription were only $95, just like advertised on the website.
Not OP
Prescription sunglasses at Warby Parker are more expensive than prescription glasses and if you need high index lenses they are even more. For my prescription, they would not even do it without high index lenses. They ended up being $300, but I love them and they were totally worth it and cheaper than prescription sunglasses any other route.
Anon
tifosi.
Anon
tifosi.
Anonymous
Zenni
Anonymous
39dollarglasses.com They do a good job and the name is for real. Sunglasses might be a little more, but pretty close.
MagicUnicorn
Zenni
Anon
You can get a pair at Zenni for like $20, lens included. I’ve also ordered from Polette.
Nesprin
Costco.
Anon
Costco–I have knockoff raybans with dark lenses and they were under $100.
X X
Eyebobs for cute and fun.
Eyebuydirect more standard but huge selection.
LawyrChk
When you’re traveling to/exploring a new city for a vacation or long weekend, how do you allocate your time between lunch and dinner? We’ve started traveling again, and I’m noticing a habit that we seem to be getting into. We rise early, hit the pavement for touristy stuff in the AM (museums, walking tours, exploring), then have lunch. We can’t really figure out what to do in the afternoon that is low key but culturally interesting. We’re beat from several miles of walking already so don’t want to hit a museum or long walk or will be pretty tired by dinner, but our other go-to is sitting at a brewery, live music or a bar. Which is fine for short periods but is too easy to drink more than I’d like when followed by dinner and nightlife. So, polling the audience – how do you pace yourself on these sorts of trips, and any inspiring ideas of lower energy activities to do as a couple? No kids, and mostly visiting cities without beaches or easy hiking nearby to get out in nature. We just keep finishing up a weekend and feeling more tired on Monday than we should.
anon
I go to my hotel and have a post-lunch nap or lounge for a few hours, and then I’m usually revitalized for activity in the afternoon.
Anon
+1, I don’t need to be out all day and night just because I’m somewhere else
PolyD
This was a bit of a revelation when I started vacationing as an adult who had enough money to know that the vacation I was on wouldn’t be my only one for years. Growing up, my family camped and was the type to get up at the crack of dawn to go see the sites, although we were usually back at the campsite for dinner.
I remember one of the first vacation with my boyfriend, we DIDN’T get up at the crack of dawn, we slept in, had a decent breakfast/brunch, and didn’t kill ourselves to see things, but still saw an adequate amount of stuff in the days were were at our destination.
So for those of us who grew up with parents who felt they needed to maximize every minute of vacation, it’s a bit of a reset (in my opinion, a good one!) to realize that vacation doesn’t have to mean rushing around to do all the things.
Anonymous
I grew up only taking camping vacations, and downtime during a hotel vacation stresses me out. Sitting by a nice pool is fine, but I don’t want to waste time in the hotel room or at a mediocre pool. My husband just wants to sit in the hotel room because he doesn’t want to spend money doing things, and I think it’s a waste of money to sit in the hotel room because we could sit around doing nothing at home for free.
Anon
+1 – nap, read, lounge. I love feeling rested and fresh for dinner and drinks in the evenings.
anne-on
This. I enjoy having the time back at the hotel to nap, read, or relax, and the take my time getting ready for nighttime activities (I would usually change for dinner, and then we’d leave the hotel by 4:30/5 to wander around and pick a bar, then head somewhere else for dinner, and people watch/walk around the neighborhoods in the evening.)
Anon
It seems like the obvious answer is to do less stuff in the morning / arrange activities to spread out tiring and easy ones. If there’s not enough to do for morning and afternoon, consider just a one-day trip instead of a weekend.
Anon
yes, i agree with this. when we used to tour cities, we’d also rise early, but not rush around like maniacs. or rise a bit later and get your day started a bit later. alternatively, bring a book to read at a coffee shop?
Is it Friday yet?
Yeah, I personally love a good leisurely vacation morning – especially because I tend to stay out late. :) Even if you’re an early riser, you can always take a coffee break, or have a long breakfast (or lunch) and people watch before/between activities. But like, I also feel like being tired on Monday is a sign of a weekend well spent.
Anon
It’s fine to rest … maybe go sit somewhere pretty and read? A park, beach, or cafe? Doing normal things and people watching is a really enjoyable part of travel for me
Anonymous
We sleep in, exercise if there’s a gym at the hotel, have a leisurely brunch, and then do touristy stuff in the afternoon.
Anon
We take a break at the hotel. Nap or “garden”, home spa stuff like a face mask or paint my nails, watch a little silly tv (old Seinfeld episodes always seem to be on). You could book a hotel w/ a pool and kill some time there. Alternatively, we day drink and definitely drink more than intended LOL.
Anonymous
Well for starters can you not just chill a little in the morning? Enjoy breakfast at a cafe? Bang? Do one thing in the morning and one thing in the afternoon? I love staying somewhere with a pool for late afternoon or, again, bang.
Monte
The stuff you do in the morning I do in the afternoon between lunch and dinner. Morning is for walking and just exploring the city on foot, finding cute places for coffee, and photography/reading/people watching in a new place. I know that there are some concerns about lines for certain touristy things being longer in the morning, but the day is exhausting and not fun for me if I am running off to a museum at 9am.
Cat
Well, we usually pace ourselves differently and see one ‘attraction’ in the morning and one after lunch. Having tired feet by lunch doesn’t sound fun…
We also can*not* do more than one museum or church or whatever per day or our eyes glaze over, we need time outside. So – go to a sporting event? Rent bikes? Bring a book to read in a park? Boat ride if there’s water nearby?
Anonymous
We also prefer to get out and do touristy stuff first thing in the morning before things get crowded and hot. If we need afternoon downtime, we like to sit by the hotel pool or go to a coffee shop and read.
Anonymous
For me, it’s either morning stuff or nightlife, not both in the same day. I’ll sleep in Friday and Saturday so I still feel energetic after dinner.
anon
DH and I usually plan vacations where we go out in the morning, either have a quick lunch or go back to an AirBNB/condo for lunch for leftovers, sandwiches, rest/recharge for a couple of hours, and then go out for an afternoon activity and dinner. Afternoon activities are usually lower speed–riding a train/ferry/streetcar or going on a scenic drive, seeing live music, brewery/happy hour, etc. If we’re staying someplace nice, we may even spend time at the hotel pool or get a massage at the spa or something that’s relaxing but not necessarily culturally interesting.
anon a mouse
We plan our mornings and leave the afternoons to chance. DH is an uberplanner and I can’t deal with having every minute scheduled on vacation, it stresses me out. So this is our compromise.
Sometimes that means staying at the morning outing for even longer (like when we realized we could spend another 3-4 hours in the British Museum and still not be satisfied), sometimes it means following up on something we saw advertised on the street, sometimes it means picking up a snack and people-watching in a park, sometimes it means a nap or other hotel activities.
Anon
DH and I are trying to buy a house and I think I am too anxious about choosing the wrong house or the wrong neighborhood. My usual person I’d talk to about this stuff is my mom, but she passed away a year ago (unrelated to covid). If you bought a house and were deciding between a few different neighborhoods, how did you ultimately choose? the neighborhood that feels the most right to me has no inventory in part bc there are only a few desirable blocks to live on- we’ve been looking for four months and have seen zero houses that we like in that neighborhood. one of the other neighborhoods we are considering is where we live now (in an apartment) and i feel very comfortable there, probably bc i’ve spent the most time there, but houses in this neighborhood are the most expensive, and the school was described by a current parent as an environment that “can feel somewhat high-pressure (you can tell this is a neighborhood full of Type A parents)” and while it is an excellent school and i am probably a bit Type A myself, i don’t know if putting our family in that environment will bring out too much of the Type A in me. Neighborhood 3 is the least known to us in large part because we haven’t spent as much time there. We don’t know quite as many people who live there and it doesn’t have the same neighborhood feel as the other two, like there is no community pool, not as many playgrounds. It also has a good school and is located between the other two neighborhoods.
Anonymous
Oh I know this feeling. My mom passed two years ago and I definitely still have those decisions where I just want to hear my mom agree with me.
I think you know the answer already:
Neighborhood 1- not an option! There are no houses! You cannot live there! Stop even considering this.
Neighborhood 2- clearly perfect for you
Neighborhood 3- what is the point of this it’s just subpar neighborhood 2.
If you can afford anything in neighborhood 2, do that! Your mom would approve!
Anon
thank you for this comment! so here is my issue with neighborhood #2 – the houses are more expensive, so what we can afford is smaller than in #3, and i don’t know if we will start to feel like the house is too small. some of the people selling their homes in neighborhood #2, are selling their $1 million+ homes to move into $2million homes in the same neighborhood. I guess I’m a bit nervous about too much of a ‘keeping up with the joneses’ type of atmosphere.
Anonymous
You don’t have to do that though! You can enjoy a smaller space with less to clean. You can focus on not acquiring unnecessary things. You can build a life rich with the experiences and friendships you see in neighborhood 2.
anon
This is excellent advice.
Quail
+1. This sounds like my neighborhood – $1m homes are “small” (~2400 sq ft) and people then upgrade to the $2m+, 3500 sq ft homes (which were built after tearing down an unrenovated “small” home). We have a “small” home in a great neighborhood, walkable to a good public neighborhood school, parks, libraries, and pools and although we get a lil’ Redfin envy now and again, this is our forever home (we have two kids) and I am grateful for having less to clean, furnish, and maintain. (And after our last move, I have vowed to never move again just for the sheer pain-in-the-ass-ness of moving).
Honestly, I think the most important thing about having a house that grows with you is not the size or square footage, but the layout. It really sounds like neighborhood #2 is where you should be. Because inventory is so low, you might just not see the right small house available now – the houses you are seeing may not be a good long term fit. If you are looking for a long-term home, I’d advise waiting a bit and not settling on neighborhood (after all, you can’t change that!). It totally sucks to have your ideal timeline disrupted, but it would also suck to buy something now that you are not super jazzed about because of a once in a century, pandemic-induced inventory shortage. Talk to realtors and see if they are anticipating any changes in the next few months.
And , OP, my condolences on the loss of your mom. I lost my mom over 10 years ago and I wish so very much I could talk to her about the important decisions in my life.
OP
i appreciate everyone’s comments, though honestly a bit surprised that everyone thinks neighborhood #2 is the perfect one, after I described it as having a high-pressure elementary school. we have some friends who live in the neighborhood who are lovely, but it is also a lot of people driving fancy cars, with fancy things, summering in another state, etc.
No Problem
But that’s where you as a parent come in. You will need to set expectations for your kids, which may or may not be similar to what everyone else is doing (or seems to be doing). Is everyone involved in 2-3 sports plus chess club and some other school activity? Fine if that’s what you want and your kids want, but it’s fine to pick one sport or activity and have your kid really enjoy it.
If people are driving fancy cars and going on fancy vacations, that’s cool for them. You can tell your kids that you prefer to drive a Toyota because it’s more reliable and you happen to like that car and don’t mind if it gets a little ding or one of them spills Cheetos dust on the seat. And your vacations are to visit family or to cheaper destinations in the US, not a fancy resort in Cancun or the Maldives, because spending time with your families is important to you, or you really want the kids to see the Grand Canyon and go to a baseball game in Chicago, etc.
Quail
I see you’ve discussed the schools a bit more below. Only you can know how your family values differences between what sounds like three great options. Have you been able to tour the schools? Talk to parents at all of them? What are the open enrollment options? In my experience there is no perfect school, and some great schools have dud teachers and vice versa. I hear you on not wanting to send your kid to a pressure cooker school, but at least to me, that’s just a negative and not a deal breaker at this point. Balancing the pros and cons of inventory, schools, and your experience/friends in the neighborhood (don’t discount the advantages sending your kids to a school where you already know other parents!), I still come out in favor of neighborhood 2.
It seems like there is something about the social culture of neighborhood 2 that is really bothering you – I’d try to figure out what’s going on with that and, if it’s that bad, just rule it out as an option.
Anonymous
In a similar scenario – I got my house in Neighborhood 1 by sending letters to houses I was interested in for the neighborhood. A personalized letter that talked a little about your family and why we liked the neighborhood and what we were looking for in a house. We sent 30 letters, got 3 answers, looked at 2 and bought 1. The house next door to us also sold two years ago off the market based on a friend telling me they were looking for something in our area. In our area, generic ‘I have an interested buyer for your neighborhood’ notices from real estates agents get tossed. Don’t market – if you use an agent – have them say something specific about the family who is looking so homeowners know it’s real and not just an agent on a fishing expedition.
This is in a city that it is not normally super pricey but this particular neighborhood is popular and close knit. Houses tend to get passed down within a family or through family friends buying it so there is not a lot on the market. The house across the street from us is going on the market in August because they are being relocated – they told the neighbors about it last week. They would LOVE to sell off market because they have three young kids and don’t want to deal with showings.
Anon
so i would do this, but one big issue where we live is flooding and i will not buy a house that has flooded, and it would be kind of hard to look up the flooding history for every single house
Anonymous
I would just ask them when you look at the house, no? They would have to disclose and it likely wouldn’t be hard to check the history on a couple houses.
Anonymous
Just check the history on the houses that get back to you as available and in your price range, not every house you send an interest letter too.
Anonymous
+1000. I have friends in different towns/cities/states and they’ve all done this successfully. We occasionally get notes like this. Send out the letters. You have nothing to lose. Check the flooding details on anyone that responds- don’t prescreen based on that.
Cat
Why are you in a rush to buy? Inventory is low right now. I would either (1) pay for #2 because you like it, or (2) wait out #1, #3 sounds like a “we want to buy a house, any house, but don’t actually want to live there” situation.
OP
we said at the end of 2019, for various reasons that we were going to start looking for homes in 2021. (there are a variety of reasons that we waited until 2021 obviously not knowing when we made this decision the pandemic was coming and what the housing market was like). we live in an apartment with our 3 year old twins and need more space. DH wanted to start looking for houses earlier, and he is like dying to be in a house. the cost of of our apartment is going up significantly. i could probably be ok waiting a year, though DH would definitely not be and our marriage would suffer significantly.
Anonymous
If they are 3 and you’re not going private, isn’t school registration soon? I would compare schools to help decide.
Anon
How old are your kids? As they age, school atmosphere matters more and playgrounds matter less.
Anon
3 year old twins. the schools are are good for different reasons. same school district, but different elementary schools. School in neighborhood #1 is the smallest of the 3, but still a good size, well resourced. School in neighborhood #2 is the largest of the 3, probably the ‘best’ on paper, but also has a reputation for being intense and homework heavy, School in neighborhood #3 is in between size was and is the most diverse of the 3, everyone is very excited bc the assistant principal was just promoted to principal.
Anon
As a parent, #3 sounds best to me. And if you live there for a few years you can always look to move to #2 – but I’d give it a try first. Housing markets are crazy right now, don’t stretch to buy in the most expensive neighborhood to go to a school that sounds super intense and you are clearly wary of when there is another good option.
Anon
I agree. We’re all high achievers here. I have my pile of fancy degrees and all sorts of professional accolades and am here to say that high pressure elementary school is a crock. A solid foundation is incredibly important, but more so is to actually LIKE to learn. Your kids have the rest of their lives to be on the gerbil wheel and there are no shortage of ways to be pressured in high school, college, graduate school, and professional life.
NYNY
First of all, I totally understand how you feel. I’ve set up a group text with my sister, aunt, and a cousin as my stand-in when I wish I could talk to Mom. Sending love and sympathy for your loss.
My take on the neighborhood questions: I would be fine with any of the three options, since it sounds like they’re contiguous. Focus on the house you want, and the neighborhood will work out.
joan wilder
I imagine there are reasons this is less practical financially, but I wondered if you could rent a house with more space in one of these neighborhoods for a year while you keep looking. Parenting young twins during a pandemic while grieving a major loss is a lot. Maybe some time will allow you to be in a better space for choosing a more permanent solution, and serve as a compromise with your husband? I also agree with others that I don’t think you can go wrong if you buy in any of these 3 neighborhoods.
Cat
So based on your answers, it sounds like you don’t really want to live in #2 at all (as you indicate surprise anyone would tell you to move there), AND you don’t really want to live in #3, which leaves you with continuing to wait for a house in #1.
Can you move to a larger rental?
Anon4this
+1 Your coming in loud and clear to me as not wanting either #2 or #3. However, you are part of a pair, so you are going to need to work on this with your husband. Given that, I would vote for #2.
X X
Late to this thread but
1. So sorry for your loss
2. Your mom loved you
3. Your gut reacting is probably what she would have told you. Go with makes you happy and don’t second guess your gut.
4. Be well and give your kids an extra hug. I’m sure you’re doing a great job.
Anon
I need to buy a gas cooktop (separate from the range) with a downdraft, preferably built in. Any recommendations? It seems like there aren’t many of these that don’t require paying for the downdraft and cooktop separately, which is $$$.
Anonymous
Emily Henderson recently did a piece on her blog about why she is switching from gas range + downdraft to an induction range.
Ribena
Yes, go induction.
LB
KitchenAid KCGD506GSS. Have had it for a year and use it daily. Downdraft is strong and easy to clean!
LSC
We had a 30 inch gas downdraft and there were only two options for replacement at that size: JenAir or KitchenAid. They are now made by the same manufacturer, and KitchenAid is supposed to be just as good, so I went with that. It was a little cheaper and has performed very well. That said, I did not think about the environmental concerns around gas when we made this choice. Now I would probably go with induction for that reason.
anon
I need good vibes and encouragement. I threw my hat in the ring for a coveted semi-volunteer position. I feel like it’s such a good match for my professional skills while still letting me indulge in sort of a passion project, which I’m sorely missing in my life. Fingers crossed that I’m selected!
Anonymous
Way to put yourself put there! Crossing my fingers for you!
NYNY
Sending all the vibes! Good on you for throwing in!
Senior Attorney
Go, you! Best of luck!!
Anon
You’ve got this!
X X
Go you! Great vibes.
Anon
Any advice for finding the motivation to exercise, even just a little bit, in the morning? I bought a Peloton during the pandemic and found success using it whenever I had the time/energy since I was working from home. Now I’m back to the office, and just feel so damn tired all the time. The snooze button is hard to resist when I feel so tired, but I know I would feel more energetic overall by squeezing a 20 min ride into my morning.
Anon
Only thing that works for me is being committed by having previously paid for a class or meeting a friend – I just can’t self motivate to exercise in the morning.
Anon
Pick one or two mornings a week to ride; it is very hard to convince yourself to go from “never” to “every day.” Lay out your exercise clothes the night before.
Anon
Team evening exercise. I have never managed two consecutive mornings of exercise. And I say this as someone who has exercised consistently for 30+ years. If morning exercise is not your thing (and it is not mine), try and work around that.
Anonymous
This is why I go to an appointment-only gym with trainers. Someone knows when I miss. I still miss sometimes but less often. And like other things, there tends to be some momentum once you maintain the habit for a while.
anon
I remind myself that if I do it in the morning, it’ll be DONE and not hanging over my head the rest of the day. I also prefer exercising on a mostly empty stomach because otherwise, I’m having to plan my meals around what might give me digestive issues later during a run or hard workout. It takes time to build the morning workout habit, for sure. Oh, and in case you aren’t doing this already, you may need to go to bed 30-60 minutes earlier.
Anonymous
+1 to all of this. Also, regular exercise helps me manage a couple of chronic conditions (anxiety, headaches) and reminding myself of this is usually all the push I need to get out of bed in the morning.
ATL
I’m happy to be a Peloton accountability buddy for morning rides! Maybe we can coordinate doing a class together a couple days a week depending on time zones. Drop a burner email and I’ll reach out with my info :)
Ribena
Are you on the #retteriders tag? I’m an app user so I don’t show up in the same way but it’s nice to feel I’m in it with other people
Anon
Plan on going to work 20 minutes later on the days you ride.
all about eevee
I am also a Peloton rider going through the same thing. I placed my phone across the room and am getting up every morning at 5 AM to ride. It feels great to be done. If I feel like it when I get home, I will hop on again for a second ride.
Anon
Ok, feeling a little nuts, but I swear the generic of my antidepressant (Wellbutrin) from one certain manufacturer doesn’t work as well as the generics from other manufacturers. I know scientifically the “recipes” are required to be the same, but seriously, I notice a big difference in my moods. Has anyone else encountered this? Is there anything I can do to get one of the “good” generics or am I just at the mercy of whatever’s cheapest that month for my insurance?
Anonymous
I’ve noticed the same thing with a different medication. I’ve tried explaining it to my doctor and the pharmacy and they both think I am absolutely crazy but I did get my doctor to write for brand-name only. Not sure if that’s an option for you.
Anon
You are not nuts! This has happened to me with neurological meds, and I think it is a known thing to happen in that category of medicine.
Anonymous
Not just you. My WB script is specially for WB -the generic does not
Work near as well for me. it was a process to get this okay’d.
Anonymous
For generic drugs, I believe the manufacturer is chosen by the pharmacy and not by the insurer. Could you call around to different pharmacies and ask which generic they have in stock? Then get a 3-month supply for convenience.
anon
This has been my experience, too. DS takes meds for ADHD, and boy oh boy, did we notice a difference one month when we used a different, more convenient pharmacy. And not in a better way. Both pharmacies sold generics but they were clearly not the same at all.
Anonymous
I think this is possible. I had a side effect from one generic that I did not get from another. My pharmacist understood and worked with me to get the right generic in. Maybe you need to switch pharmacies – a small mom-and-pop might be easier to get cooperation from, though my experience was at a Target.
Anon
Same thing here. One generic of my birth control made me extremely nauseous. None of the others did. My doc wrote the script for the specific brand of generic I did well on and wrote no substitutions on it. I had no trouble getting the right generic from the pharmacy thereafter and I didn’t have to battle with my insurance because it was still generic.
Curious
+1. Back when I took oral birth control, my doctor had to write “no substitutions” on my scrip, or my pharmacy would change the generic (sometimes monthly!) and trigger my anxiety over. and. over. Not all generics are created equal.
Anon
This is definitely a thing, look up enantiomers. Some people don’t respond the same to chemical formulations that are mirror images. You can request a script that specifies a certain formula as medically necessary.
Anom
Likely more to do with the difficulty of getting the exact same extended release profile as the brand?
(Not a pharmacist but I am a pharmaceutical lawyer with a rusty biology PhD…)
Anonymous
Generics must have the same enantiomers as name brand – otherwise they are not identical and won’t be approved. The difference between generics and name brand lies in the the formulation – the chemicals that are the “carrier” for the drug. But the drug itself cannot be a mirror image – it must be the identical molecule (except for biologics).
Anonymous
This was definitely a thing for me with my BCP. I’ve been on the same pill since I was 15, I’m 37 now. If it ain’t broke, y’know? The different generics are definitely different. It really annoyed me that some pharmacies would switch me back and forth month to month like it doesn’t matter. Yes I can tell a huge difference, I have 20 years of experience on this medication do not gaslight me. I insist on the brand name and just pay full freight.
Anon
See my post above. You can insist on a specific generic too to save money!
Curious
Omg thank you for this. WHY do they think it’s okay to swap those things monthly? WHY?
Anon
Yes, when I had to switch to a generic initially it didn’t work well at all. Sometimes I believe it has to do with delivery mechanism, not amount of medication — mine was a time release taken daily and it just seemed like the generic didn’t get the time release right consistently.
Anon
Definitely a thing with AHDH meds (per my husband) and with thyroid meds (per me).
In my “am I crazy?” research for my thyroid, I found a lot of gaslighting from doctors insisting that anyone can use synthetic meds and that naturally-derived meds are outdated and unnecessary, despite clear evidence that many people only respond to natural.
Anon
ADHD, obviously, I am out of patience with autocorrect making things worse today…
anonymous
You are not crazy. This is a documented problem with Wellbutrin. My psychiatrist and I have discussed this issue extensively, with respect to WB and other meds (mostly ADHD meds), and he’s observed different responses in his patients to generic drugs and done lots of research on different drug manufacturers and ingredient suppliers. Yes, generics are “the same,” but there’s differences in quality in ingredients and process controls. After a few years of taking generic WB, I switched to a name brand med that’s very similar to WB, which my insurance miraculously covers for some reason along with a manufacturer’s coupon or something, and it’s much more helpful to me than WB was. I also had a disastrous time trying generic versions of Concerta.
You might try keeping a log of how you feel along with other potentially confounding factors (sleep, hydration, diet, life events), and discuss with your doctor. Different pharmacies stock different generics, and your insurance may have a mechanism through which you can get a brand name med covered if the generics are documented not to be working for you. It’ll probably take some digging (I had scour the formulary in detail to get anywhere and figure out what needed to be done for approval of name brand meds–it varied for each med) and don’t expect to get a helpful answer from your insurance co’s website or anyone you speak to.
MechanicalKeyboard
Interesting. Would you mind sharing the name of the generic? I take Wellbutrin as well and have feel like it isn’t working as well lately.
Anon
Bupropion is notorious for this, you’re not imagining things. If it’s time release, you should know that there is no such requirement for the recipe for the time release formulation. The requirement only applies to the active ingredient. You can definitely request the generic that you want from your pharmacy.
anon
The generic guarantees same active ingredient and its dose, not necessarily the excipients (non-active ingredients), which can accelerate absorption of actives or prolong their release, so yes, it is possible not to feel the same effect. As I live in Europe, no help with how to get the right generic for you. Can’t you just ask the pharmacists for the specific generic you want?
Nesprin
That’s not quite right. In the US, generic dose has to be within 85% and 110% of the brand name formulation. With hormones and other narrow therapeutic index drugs, that 10-15% can matter a ton.
Anin
Thanks, wasn’t aware of this. Different countries, different rules. But if on top of the flexibility on excipients you add the dosing of actives (agree 10-15% is a lot), I would not be surprised by OP’s experience.
Anon for this
You are not crazy- a generic must be ‘bioequivalent’ which means certain pharmacokinetic parameters must fall within an acceptable range of the branded drug, but are not EXACTLY the same. Also, some excipients and other non-drug ingredients can differ. Enantiomers will definitely be the same, you cannot sell a generic with a different enantiomer. ADHD drugs are known to be different in some respects because the rate of release is key to how well they work and the generic doesn’t always have the same release profile due to different drug delivery systems (that are cheaper).
For something i take every day (birth control, anti-depressants), I would buy the brand. It’s usually not that much more and it’s worth it to me.
signed, someone who’s job requires a detailed knowledge of generics and drug approval
X X
+1 for thyroid meds
anon
Random sleepwear crowd-sourcing question:
I’ve realized that I prefer to sleep in a nightgown/dress rather than PJs/separates, especially during warmer weather. I have a couple of cheapo jersey nightgowns from my pregnancy, but I’d like to buy something more long-lasting and cuter, preferably with a matching robe that has pockets. Any favorite sources for nightgowns?
Anon
I am obsessed w/ the Soma Cool Nights nightgowns. They’re cute, super soft, and I just love them!
anon
Same! I own several of these.
A
I buy woven cotton Indian kaftans from Jaypore.com or fabindia. Both ship internationally.
Anonymous
So, I’m not a nightgown person, but I recently got turned onto the brand Lake pajamas and I LOVE them. They have nightgowns and matching robes.
NYCer
I like Eberjey.
Anon
I don’t know if Eileen West is still around but the brand made these beautiful cotton lawn night gowns trimmed with eyelet – somewhere between little house on the prairie and elegant lady who has her maid deliver breakfast on a tray. It might be worth trying to find vintage. They were so gorgeous.
Anon
Ohhh they still make them. Look at this one.
https://www.vermontcountrystore.com/eileen-west-buttercup-nightgown/product/73822
I’m not a yellow person but I would eat this up in blue.
Anon
Here’s a short style
https://www.eileenwest.com/products/bolinas-rose-short-gown
So I’m from the Bay Area and there used to be an Eileen West outlet store in pacific heights. That was a big shopping splurge for me. Sometimes I would even find the matching robe to a gown on deep clearance. I felt like a queen.
When I first heard of the brand Eileen Fisher, I thought it was the same as Eileen West (it wasn’t).
Coach Laura
The Soma nightgowns made my skin break out in bumps, even after washing.
The Company Store cotton Legends Legacy nightgown and robe are wonderful, very well made. But pricy.
I love Lands End’s cotton nightgowns and robes. I’ve had these last 5 years, until I’m tired of the color and want to get a new one. Much more budget friendly than the Company Store ones, but similar and of good quality.
X X
Garnet hill has cute pj and nightshirts.
Fabindia good but went in HYD.
Anonymous
Do you think some of the things people attribute to aging are really just being honest with yourself? Let’s take all nighters as an example. I’ve always hated all nighters. I hated them in high school. I never did my best work, and I’m sure my mother could show you report cards that say so. Now I’m in my late 30s and my colleagues bemoan not being able to work all night like they used to. Seriously though it was never pleasant, we were never on our game at 4 am, the only difference is we’ve been burned enough times that we have to admit our own limitations. Or maybe I’m just refusing to admit that I’m aging and slowing down?
A
No one LIKES all nighters presumably. I could pull them in my 20s if needed, but now in my 40s, I’ve lost the ability, even if I had to. Maybe that’s what they’re bemoaning…
Anon
Yes, same. And hangovers — I got hung over in my 20s but it took more drinks and I was more able to just push through it and go to work, etc. Our bodies really do change, though the age when that happens is different for everyone.
OP
I hear this from people a lot too! But my first 2-day hangover was the first time I drank when I was 17. Maybe I’ve just always been 40 and now I’m catching up to my age!
anonshmanon
yes, drinking immediately came to mind when I read OP’s post. Those folks who, having a perfectly nice evening, with a buzz after a drink or two, will start whining about how much they used to be able to chug and that stopping after 2 or 3 beers is a sign of aging and lamentable. So ridiculous. You are stopping because you have plans in the morning. You are stopping because a pleasant buzz is preferable to being totally hammered. You are choosing the pricier craft beer over a cheap sixpack. You are simply making different choices, but you want to pretend that you are a victim of aging.
Aunt Jamesina
https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/08/11/why-getting-old-means-drinking-less/
Anonymous
I think it’s a little bit of both. When I was younger I drank and pulled all-nighters mostly due to peer pressure. As an adult I value my own health and safety above all else now so not gonna do either of those. I’m also not American so all nighters are not a work expectation infact work is about 35h/week.
Anon
The body’s tolerance for discomfort and the slowing of healing colors our experiences. We respond to and remember things differently when they cause extended pain or aggravation. It’s the opposite of rose-colored glasses.
Living out of a car and rough camping was magical in my twenties. Now, my back hurts when I sit, stand, or lie down for too long. A road trip is the same amount of cool it always was, it’s only my spine that’s changed.
Anonymous
I can see this with hangovers. It’s easy to act like you could “handle hangovers better” in your early 20s, and maybe it was true to some extent, but also, I wasted plenty of weekend days recovering on the couch then. I don’t drink much anymore, maybe 1-2 drinks per month at the most, and part of the reason is because I just don’t value it in this season of life. I want to be energized and ready to go on an outdoor adventure at 6 am on a Saturday and it was hard to do that when drinking with friends on a Friday night, plus it just made me feel sick (I suspect some kind of sulfite intolerance in wine, but I don’t know for sure), which put a stop to drinking wine at home. It could be aging, but it’s also just learning more about how you want to spend your time as you get older.
Anon
Lord no. I am zero percent nostalgic for all nighters and let’s be honest, some of that time was always spent sleeping either in a sitting position or with one’s face on the paperwork.
Anon
Ohh I thought you were talking about studying or working all nighters!
Cat
…she was? What is the confusion here? All night “gardening”?
Anon4this
All night partying – there were definitely nights where I didn’t go to sleep until the sun came up partying, but never once have I pulled a work/school all-nighter.
Anonymous
No. I think this is 100% aging. I noticed a dramatic shift in my ability to pull an all-nighter at a certain age and another about 5 years later. It simply isn’t something I can either mentally or physically accomplish, which was not the case when I was younger. In fact, sometimes I did do my best work that way.
Anonymous
Caveat to this — I am trying to challenge physical aging via more exercise as I move toward 50. I am not going to just give in to physical deterioration. But I still know I can’t stay up all night. That happened a long time ago.
Anonymous
Assuming that all-nighters here are nights working (or studying, in earlier years) – it’s a question of aging for me. I have excellent all-nighter skills (and am a natural night owl with good night-time focus), and can still do them if necessary, but the nature of an all-nighter for me is that it’s extra, on the top of everything else, and recovery time is so much longer now than fifteen years ago.
Anon
Combination of both. As an adult, I have a lot of things on my plate that cannot slide until the next day the way they could when I was younger. Kiddo needs to be fed, changed, packed up to daycare; work involves a lot of nitpicky things and meetings wherein I need to present; and there aren’t opportunities during the day to take a nap. Contrast with early career, graduate school, etc., I could definitely phone it in for a day, or, as late as grad school, take a nap during the day.
That collides with a reduced ability to handle the long nights. I feel like dirt if I don’t get at least six hours of sleep; that number used to be five. Five. I regularly operated on five hours of sleep a night for months on end and felt fine. Recovering from sleep deprivation takes longer. While I can power through one bad night, several in a row reduces my mental function to that of a squashed slug. Illnesses take longer to recover from. Injuries niggle at the body for a long time.
On the flip side, the slowdown is not quite (yet) as bad as advertised. I cannot speak enough good things for the long-term benefits of nutrition, exercise, stretching, and sleep hygiene.
Anon
I used to pull all-nighters all the time in high school and often in college and grad school with basically no problems, kind of like a brief afternoon low energy feeling, totally fixed with coffee. Around 28/29 it became hard – I started to feel zombie-like during the day even with coffee. I’m 34 now and have pulled one all nighter in the last 3 years (because of flying), even the times I try I physically to reset my sleep schedule, etc, it does not work – I literally physically uncontrollably fall asleep like narcolepsy. I do think the physical aging process makes a difference.
Just a work vent
Just a vent.
I am not allowed to transition into my new internal role until my replacement is hired, and they can’t find anyone (trust me, I am NOT AT ALL that special). It’s been a month and a half since I accepted my new role (offer letter signed) and since my current position has been posted. They have had five applicants and the one that they really liked took another position because we were so slow. The others do not have the relevant experience. I am so unhappy and I have tried to (professionally) put my foot down (with guidance from my very high ranking and incredibly well-respected mentor) to no avail. It’s infuriating because if I had quit and left the company they would have been forced to figure it out, but since this is an internal transfer, they can just string me along until they find someone. My new boss is deferring to my current/old boss on timeline. I am so unmotivated to do any of the work in my current role – I need a deadline to get me moving at this point, but alas, I cannot get one. GAHHHHHHHH
Anon
My company has twice lost people due to exactly this. One was told to wait for replacement, and the other was told they had to finish a project that was a disaster of scope-creep and unrealistic expectations. Both got fed up after multiple months and quit altogether. The company has learned nothing, just doubled down on talk of “loyalty” and “seeing the bigger picture”.
Just a work vent
Ugh. I am not surprised! Quitting for something else has absolutely crossed my mind and I am still looking at what’s available externally.
Anon
Yes! When someone is so indispensable that they get stuck where they are as others get hired above them and others more dispensable get promotions and rotations… you’re going to find out the hard way how indispensable that employee is when they leave. I don’t know what managers are thinking when they do this – they are just selfish and lazy in my opinion. (And I’m speaking as a manager, so these people are my peers)
NYNY
This is a totally sucky situation. Can you work on documenting your role so that it’s easier to transition? And once that’s done, reach out to your new boss and ask if you can work out something where you start the new role with the ability to split between the two for a defined period – don’t leave it open-ended! – while the new hire is onboarding. Also, see if there’s anyone on the current team who can take on work in the short term.
Just a work vent
These are great suggestions and I am absolutely on top of this! I have one major project that my current boss wants done, but the problem is this is a project that is supposed to be led by another function. The other function won’t commit the resources, so it was oh, you do this before you transition. I still can’t finish it without the buy-in and resources from the main function and at least one support function, but I am doing my best.
They won’t let me start anything on the new position and my new boss is 100% deferential to the current boss. I’ve tried a couple of different ways to get to the end result I want (always with solutions/proposals) and it’s been shut down.
My current boss has taken on some of the work outside of this main project, but naturally, he can’t actually do it all so everyone keeps coming back to me because I am far more responsive historically. However, I just punt them back to him as that was his guidance. The problem is that even if he had time, he wouldn’t be able to do the project because I am the SME in this area for the entire company. But honestly, it’s not rocket science, it’s just regulatory work that I learned on the job over the last few years.
I’ve made three different proposals now, and I am done. But I also amo so unmotivated to do anything. I hate that I feel this way, but . . .
anonshmanon
This sucks! It happened to me too. I was 60% doing the new job too, just without the title and salary bump. The only thing that helped somewhat was to be really honest with the people who wanted to hire me about how slow the people on the other end were moving. They thought it was moving along as fast as it could, and I kept reminding them every week that no actual steps had been taken yet. I was the squeaky wheel.
Caveat, that 1.5 months are a lot in some fields, but not a lot in others.
Just a work vent
Good for you! I am not doing even 1% of the new job and my future boss is wholly deferential to my current boss “needing” me. I’m in contact with him regularly – not only because of the new position, but because I work with him on some things already.
I’ve reached out to many of my own personal contacts to source candidates, I’ve done the LinkedIn sourcing of candidates on my own, etc., to help. Never mind that not only do we have internal recruiters, but we have a well known external firm working on this. It’s mind boggling because I am regular ole business lawyer and there are plenty of others who have the experience I do. It’s seriously NOT a niche specialty!
Thank you for your advice though!
Anonymous
You can’t control this. But you could look for a new job or set a date to start looking.
Anon
Let’s talk scent. I’ve been enjoying wearing all my scents while working from home for the last year (and for the foreseeable future) and they bring back such strong memories of certain times in my life –
Salvatore Ferragamo pour Femme – what I wore when I was dating my husband
Bvlgari Omnia – what I wore as a mom of young kids
Chloe EDP (2008 version) – just a super frantic busy time in my life
Dolce by D&G – I wore this as a less sharp Chloe but never loved it
Un Matin d’Orage by Annick Goutal – bought when I FINALLY got to go to Paris and I don’t think I will ever not wear this
What are your favorite scents and associations with them?
MechanicalKeyboard
Light Blue by D&G – What I wore as a late teen and early twenty-something. Brings me back to that confusing/intense/exciting feeling of just crossing over into adulthood…and all the parties!
Anon
That’s still a great one for summer!
Anonymous
I have only one scent association for myself but definitely feel nostalgia for certain exes when I smell their colognes.
Anon
Ooh which ones?
Anonymous
Not OP, but Acqua di Gio is my husband’s from when we met. Makes me feel 25 again. :)
Anon
My husband’s too, and he still wears it. I love it.
Anon
Scents I aspire to but can’t wear:
Chanel no 5
Guerlain Shalimar parfum
Most of the Tom Ford (have three, can’t really wear them)
By Killian – I love that they have some that smell like flowers mixed with things like the good part of gasoline, but they’re all too strong and I can’t wear them
I grew up in the Love’s Baby Soft era and all my friends wore it but it smelled like hot garbage on me. I was so sad! I had to wear my Bonne Bell Lip Smacker rollerball gloss (a prized possession that later melted in my purse) without the required accompanying spray of Baby Soft.
Senior Attorney
Haha I was the contrarian who drowned myself in Love’s Fresh Lemon and smelled like… a lemon!
Anon
Ohhh you rebel!!
Have you looked back at the ads for love’s baby soft. They did not age well. The whole innocence is s3xy thing…
Senior Attorney
Yeah, Love’s Baby Soft ads are, shall we say, Deeply Problematic at this point.
Jules
I was just about to say I was Team Love’s Fresh Lemon, but SA beat me to it. And OMG, so much Bonne Bell …
Shelle
oh yes I feel this so much “Scents I aspire to but can’t wear”. That is Dior Poison for me! I adore it and I should just wear it. But I feel like it doesn’t “speak to who I am” (ha whatever that means) and it’s so strong it would probably make someone want to crack a window. I spray the tester every time I walk by it in the store…
eertmeert
If you can’t wear Chanel n 5, try the newer Chanel n 5 L’eau. It is much softer and more modern. I love all the n5s, and wear them all, and L’eau is the most modern.
Anon
We discovered I was allergic to Chanel No. 5 when I was in church between my grandma and aunt, both wearing it and I suddenly had trouble breathing. We thought it was the church incense and then it happened again the next time grandma was over and we were seated together on the couch. It was so bizarre. It was the only perfume I reacted to but I also haven’t been around a lot of people that were perfume.
Anon
My grandmother wears Shalimar and it is such a rich, intoxicating scent. I can’t wear it myself, but I love the scent. My mother wears Elizabeth Arden Red Door and has since I was young. I just love smelling the two scents, because neither woman wears fragrance just around the house, so smelling both of them are tied to every day special moments from childhood and make me feel so happy.
I’m super sensitive to fragrance, so can’t wear as many as I wish I could. There have really only ever been two that I loved and could douse myself in without a headache or tummyache.
– Philosophy Amazing Grace – wore when I was dating and married my first husband – such a sweet time
– Guerlain Mon Guerlain – I’ve been wearing it since it came out a few years ago and I hope they never ever discontinue it – I hope it’s the one my children remember like I remember my mother’s <3
Not exactly what you asked, but Elizabeth Arden Sunflowers and Davidoff Cool Water send me back to middle school and I'm instantly flooded with anxiety – no matter that I'm a successful grown-up with a great family and life haha. Ditto if I were to smell any of those Gap fragrances – Grass, Air, whatever their names were ha.
Anonymous
Some potential Chanel 5 hacks if you want to try and find something that works for you:
Chanel No 5 Eau Premiere is a little lighter, and reacts differently on the skin than the classic No 5.
One of the most characteristic parts of the No 5 scent is the intense powdery floral. This is very much the scent of Iris flowers, and if you find a lighter Iris scent, you might get the powdery classic feel that you like about the Chanel.
Since your aspirational scents are quite spicy, powdery, intense and dramatic, you might have better luck with a body lotion or similar in the range, to get a lighter version.
Seafinch
I have worn Premiere for this reason for years.
Jules
I wear only one, Siano from Phlur. Kat featured the company some time ago, and I bought a couple of sample packs, A few of them seemed a bit too masculine (although my nonbinary 26-y-o ridiculed this concept) and some others I just didn’t like or didn’t like on me. Siano is somehow perfect for me.
If anyone is looking for a new scent, check out the Phlur sample sets. https://phlur.com/collections/curated-sample-sets
eertmeert
Scents run on a spectrum. Sweet/floral as traditionally feminine to unisex to the aftershave/cologne of traditional masculine scents. So something can be too masculine for your taste without it being a bad scent. Kind of like “nude-for-you” shoes. Peach-beige doesn’t work for everyone, and it’s a good thing there is variety.
eertmeert
I love so many scents. If I were to name three, they would be Narcisco Rodriguez For Her EdP which is just lovely and easy and sexy. Balmain Ivoire (the new version, not the vintage) which is the best soapy out of the shower scent that is amazing in the hot months. Keeps me feeling so fresh. Hermes Kelly Caleche, becuase I love leathery soapy floral grapefruit combo.
Ugh, I could go on and on.
Floral: Hermes Jour d’Hermes (honey, floral, grapefruit), Chanel Beige (floral & honey), Mugler Alien Eau Extraordinnaire (bright citrusy jasmine)
Fall/Winter: Bvlgari Black (rubber & vanilla – weird and addictive), Sarah JEssica Parker Lovely (feminine musk), Hermes Caleche, Chanel n5 (aldehydes, floral), Elizabeth & James Nirvana Black (sandalwood, vanilla, violet), Sarah Horowitz Perfect Veil (powdery vanilla musk), Guerlain Samsara (sandalwood, jasmine)
Spring/Summer: Burberry Brit Sheer (fresh citrus musk, kind of a fresh laundy scent), Diptyque L’Ombre Dans L’eau (green, rose, tomato leaf), Estee Lauder Bronze Goddess (pina coloda on the beach), Chanel Chance Eau Tendre (pretty & fresh), Prade Infusion d’Iris (powdery iris, cedar & citrus), Ormonde Jayne Champaca (peppery floral musk)
Anon
Burberry Brit. I got it on my honeymoon 16 years ago and still have some in that bottle. I also have a fresher bottle a friend gifted me.
Cat
Ralph Lauren Romance will take me straight back to junior prom, and Chanel Allure smells like college. I actually still like it a lot! But I haven’t worn a scent for about a decade at this point (rude to wear to work so I got out of the habit of purchasing).
Anonymous
I’d gotten out of the habit and now none of my “older ones” smell like me anymore. I just bought a Jo Malone limited edition elderflower cordial one and LOVE it — it’s very powdery, which is totally different from my sandalwood/vetiver/heavy scents of yore like Chanel’s Coco. I’ve also gotten from samplers from modern brands like Juliette has a Gun and Killian and really like most of them.
Anonymous
Early in my teens I loved Cabotine, and felt very sophisticated that I didn’t wear Anais Anais, which was the one everybody else wore. At this time my aspirational scent was Hypnotic Poison (small Nordic blonde girl, so highly inappropriate).
Anonymous
Mason Margiela Replica scents remind me of seasons and family celebrations. Tom Ford is my other fave.
saree
I love the cotton pants always more than denims.