Coffee Break: 3-Pack Hair Tie & Clip Set

hair tie set on sale - great for workHere’s a question I don’t think we’ve talked about in a while: what KIND of hair accessories do you use the most? Are you a fan of the simple elastic-on-the-wrist (bonus points if it matches your hair, but I must admit I always just have black elastics against my brown hair) to use for a top knot? Do you prefer Spin Pins or hair donuts? There’s a really lovely little hair tie set on sale at Nordstrom (now $15, was $25; only pink is left), and I could see myself getting a lot of use out of this set. I’m a fan of the “upgraded low pony” look with elastics like the pretty pink one here, and while they aren’t my favorite look, I do still find a place in my life for my claw clips. I’ve never managed to successfully get the longer clips (like the one pictured on bottom) to work with my uber-thick hair, but maybe I just haven’t met the right clip yet. How about you guys?

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  1. Last Minute Cape Cod Adventure :

    I was supposed to spend this upcoming weekend and the following week in Fort Lauderdale with my boyfriend, his parents, sister and her fiance. Due to Irma, we have decided to relocate to Cape Cod for the same timespan. I’ve never been and they used to have a summer house. So I have a few questions.

    What should I wear/ expect from the weather? (I’m from NJ currently in NYC).
    What are some fun activities to do in the area? We will have multiple cars. We are in our mid to late 20’s.
    Thanks in advance for your help and suggestion!

    • It is not alot different in Cape Cod. You may want to bring an extra sweater/sweatshirt, as there is always a breeze in Cape Cod. Also, with it being HURRICANE Season, it will be windier up there then normal. As for fun, it depends on WHERE on the Cape you are. If you are near Chatam, there are alot of good places to eat. On the other hand, if you are on Marthas’ Vineyard, you will have to take a boat over there. Finaly, if you are going to Providence Town, it is a whole different world up there. Check with the hotel to be sure, and go to NOAA.GOV to check the BEST forcasts. YAY!!!

    • Evenings can be chilly so definitely bring warm clothes. As for fun activities, depends what part of the cape you’ll be on. I’m very partial to the national seashore beaches but those are on the outermost part of the cape. Provincetown has art galleries and great restaurants and a fun party vibe on the streets ( though it’s bound to be quite toned down this time of year… could be a good thing). Actually don’t know much about the lower/ inner cape, besides it is the jumping off place to the islands… a day trip to Nantucket or Martha vineyard could be fun.

    • Linda from HR :

      Where on the Cape are you going? I’m more familiar with the northern, Truro-ish area and love Provincetown and Wellfleet (Beachcomber, PJ’s, and the Pearl are all musts in that town), but I haven’t spent much time down by Chatham and such.

      • Linda from HR :

        Forgot about Arnold’s in Eastham, which I always stop at either on my way to or from my destination on the Cape.

    • Last Minute Cape Cod Adventure :

      We will be in the Yarmouth area, but the entire cape is fair game. We will be going to Providence for one day, but most everything else is up in the air

    • Anonymous :

      The weather report should be accurate enough for the upcoming weekend by now, so I’d just check your favorite weather site for the weather.

      • I just got back from Cape Cod! We stayed in the mid-Cape and took a day trip to Nantucket, which I highly recommend. We spent a day walking around Hyannis (Katie’s ice cream was very good) and did a whale watching boat ride. I heard good things about Chatham though we didn’t go there. The weather was beautiful–sunny and 70s with the exception of one rainy afternoon.

  2. Marshmallow :

    I remember asking a similar question in the comments a few months ago and being directed to the brand “France Luxe.” I love their stuff. Easily available on Amazon, pretty, and durable. I often do a low pony or clip back the top half of my hair when I’m looking down at documents so my desk is always bursting with a variety of hair accessories. I prefer either black or tortoise, but this pink set looks tempting…

  3. I was a really skinny kid growing up, so I didn’t graduate to anything [email protected] like until 6th grade (and then it was probably for opaqueness / avoiding headlights than actual support). I had something that matched my skin tone and had some light lining to it (but was not padded).

    At what age do girls do that now?

    I have one girl who is a beanpole like I used to be (but some summer shirts have armholes that I’ve realized too late are too large if she bends a certain way). And one who is larger (in such a way that she might “need” something sooner than her older sister).

    I am realizing that I either work with dads (who would freak out) or mothers of sons, so I can only ask you lovely internet strangers . . .

    I’m envisioning that when the time comes, it will be something light / nylon / stretchy thing from Target or Old Navy (like a non-constricting sports [email protected] or Coobie). It wouldn’t be time to go to Nordstrom and be fitted until they have actual things to fit.

    • When I was about that age, I would get the brale t t e/half cami style things from Gap body, warners, olga (basically whatever they had at macys or filenes, or jc penny). There wasn’t much to them, but dang I felt like a woman.

      …I am now a 36HH so I guess this is a “be careful whatcha wish for” situation…

      • Thanks — That’s the sort of thing I was thinking of.

        • yeah, Gap and old navy would both be great for this. I also like the splendid bralettes. And I’ve heard great things about Aerie. It seems like actually, this might be one area where it’s better to be a teen/tween now, because bralettes are actually in style (versus when I was a tween and wore only super constricting and uncomfortable nike sports bras in middle school…)

    • I noticed last year that my 11-yo niece – who is a total beanpole, but was just starting to get breast buds – was wearing a camisole under everything. At her 12th birthday party, I saw that all her friends were doing the same, regardless of their stage of development. They were all in 5th grade at the time. They didn’t wear camisoles in 4th grade.

    • Anonymous :

      Aerie has some really cute cami styles for smaller sizes in reasonably neutral colors that don’t show through shirts. My 12 YO 7th grader started wearing them last year.

    • I was that beanpole but my best friend was very b-sty as a 12-year-old. Options were a little more limited then for her, so it didn’t really matter if you were small like me or endowed like her, there was only the one option… those sort of [email protected] like [email protected] that our moms made sure were not too s3xy (i.e. beige, white, maybe a fun light pink but no LACE OMG or scandalous colors like red or black). Those worked great for me until I started running track in high school and needed support. They were jockey from JC Penney and then Gap came out with the ones for Gap Body which were way cooler. But my poor friend used to wear 2-3 on top of each other for support and because she was so embarrassed to be so developed so fast.

      They need to start wearing something (1) when something can be seen (be that from the arm holes or from headlines) or (2) for comfort/support reasons (I remember the rule I heard was you knew when you were running up and down the stairs if you needed support). Luckily, options are way better now and you can find something age appropriate for both to provide support for the one and coverage for the other without them growing up too fast or given no options but to layer multiple sports [email protected] like my bff.

    • SF in House :

      My 12 year old started wearing sports bras from Ivivva (Lululemon’s store for girls) last year. She is only just starting to need a [email protected], but these made her comfortable. They are expensive, but hold up well. I love the story behind Yellowberry and hope that we’ll shop there too.

    • Wait, it’s considered being a late-bloomer to not wear a bra until 6th grade?

    • Anonymous :

      My daughter’s friends started wearing the half camis in third grade. I thought this was about a year or two earlier than necessary for most, but I let her go along with the trend. I would definitely have a kid wear a half cami or sports [email protected] as soon as she started changing for gym class, just to fit in. Target and Nordstrom have options.

    • Very lightweight sports bras that you pull over the head. My daughter is 16 and wearing real bras now, but she wore the sports bra type thing for a couple of years when she basically only had “nips”

    • Away Game :

      My 5th grader has soft stretchy ones from Target (maybe Hanes brand?) that work for her. Camis would be too hot under most of her shirts in the summer, so a bralette type one seemed to be the best bet.

    • Joan Holloway :


  4. What do you all think of brocade mules for fall? I like them, but am unsure if it will look like I’m rocking bedroom slippers.

    • BabyAssociate :

      Love it!

    • Baconpancakes :

      You will look like you’re rocking bedroom slippers to most people, but all the fashionable ladies whose opinion you actually care about will know you’re doing it on purpose and think you’re tres chic, so it’s a toss-up.

    • Depends on who you dress for. They do look like slippers. If you’re OK with most people who see them thinking that (if they notice or care at all), wear them!

      FWIW, I love them, can’t wear them because they’d never stay on when I walk. Wouldn’t wear them for that reason. Nobody around me would care one way or the other whether they were trendy.

  5. Unemployment Update from Midwestern Constitutent :

    I have a phone interview scheduled for Wednesday at 2 PM with a public library about 2 hours away form where I currently live. The position is for the Assistant Director job, and I have previously been a library director. I am nervous in conflicting ways. On one hand, I really need the job. On the other hand, I’d need to move for the job. While that is doable, if initially expensive, that’s also what I did for the library director job, which I wound up hating. I was in a small town, and I really did not fit in. I am afraid of that happening again.

    I’ve also been shot down from every job I’ve applied for at the local university (a Big 10 school). There’s a job with a consulting group that I’m applying for, because it’s a lot of admin stuff- documents review and prep, compliance checks, etc, that I just found and would kill to have, since it sounds like stuff I can do with minimal training, and it’s local.

    I did want to thank everyone again form their support. And if you know of any job openings for a librarian/researcher, you can let me know at dailyshowchica [AT] yahoo

    • Anonymous :

      Have you checked angellist for researcher jobs with startups? If not, please do (you’ll want to sort by type of job – full time, contract, remote ok, equity) but see if there is something there for you.

      Off the top of my head other positions you may be suited for include knowledge management positions, which sometimes request library sciences degree holders.

      Good luck (and check out o*net for transferable skills for your profession to help determine what other occupations you may be suited for).

  6. Need to get focused :

    I am great at putting together plans for how to get things done, and rather terrible at actually getting any of them done. At my old job I used to use my desktop Outlook calendar as a way to set reminders/appointments to do things and it would work because they would pop up in my face while I’m working. Now Outlook is all on the cloud so I miss reminders and I still have to remember to open the webpage. It just isn’t working. Ideally I’d like to have personal and work items managed in a way that forces me to interact (unlike the countless excel sheets I have abandoned). What do you all use for systems to keep productive?!

    • I’m really interested in this. Last Friday, I attempted to use OneNote but I couldn’t figure out how to sync my desktop with Outlook365. How to make this work? I want a checklist like Keep on my personal Android phone but under the Microsoft Office Suite.

  7. My home narrowly missed being destroyed in Irma, and I was kicking myself the whole time for having loads of old photos and documents that need to be scanned that I never got to (we evacuated too abruptly to take them with us). I have a scanner but the time is the problem. Has anyone used any services to get this done? Deets on cost and time for your job would be helpful. Thanks!

    • No substantive help, but I am SO glad to hear you and your home are safe! Waiting to hear from family in the mid-lower Keys (they evacuated) about their home/jobs, and so everyone I *do* hear about makes me happy!

    • Never too many shoes... :

      So glad to hear you’re ok!

      I took thousands of old photos to be scanned and put on desk to a local photo place. I used a groupon that was maybe 8 cents per photo. It was totally worth it!

    • Glad you are safe. This could be a good job to hire a Task Rabbit or a neighborhood teen – can ask around in a neighborhood listserve like Next Door

      • This is what I was going to suggest as well. Post the job at a local college campus maybe if they have a photographer program – they may be able to help clear/touch up some photos as well.

    • I used LegacyBox and was pleased with them. They have frequent sales, especially in late spring and summer.

    • We are getting tons of old photos scanned through Costco. Not sure on the exact price, but we have thousands of photos and it’s definitely getting well into the hundreds of dollars range. It’s worth it to us because some of the photos are really old/priceless and we have been pleased with the quality and ease of dropping off and picking up the photos locally. LegacyBox is overpriced compared to Costco.

  8. I have a few Ficcare Maximus clips and I love them. I have medium-thick hair but it is long, so most clips are too wimpy, but the large Maximus holds it all. I also like the shape of the curve – it fits my head so well that I never worry about getting poked if I lean my back against a headrest, etc.

  9. Anonymous :

    I have a haircolor question. I’ve been tinkering with a non-TDS/PPD semi-permanent color for a while to try to cover a gray patch and some gray at my temples. It isn’t working well enough to cover it. I’m planning to try one with TDS now which should cover better. I’m aiming to match my current color, which is otherwise medium brown. How will it work though? I know one can color their roots alone, but if I just cover this patch and the temples will it be patchy or will it blend?

    • inhousejen :

      Unfortunately, it’s going to depend on your hair. Grey hair absorbs color differently than the rest of your hair, so even if you applied the color all over, you risk the grey patches looking like a different color. I don’t have a patch, but I have white and grey mixed roots, so I use a higher developer at the scalp and for the general crown of my head to get the color to absorb and one level lower developer for the rest of my hair. Using the same color but with 2 different developers also helps the color look a little more natural.

  10. Anon for this :

    Does anyone else feel a little uncomfortable when they catch someone reading over their shoulder in public? I’ve been reading conflicting opinions as to whether it’s rude or whether people need to be okay with it since they’re in public and we have no reasonable expectation of privacy – which is true, but it’s still rude to stare, and I’d argue we do have a reasonable expectation of solitude when commuting. When I notice someone blatantly reading my book or watching what’s on my tablet, is it rude to angle it away or move so they can’t see it?

    • Anonymous :

      Not rude to look; not rude to move.

    • Anonymous :

      No? It’s such a social faux pas I can’t believe you’re asking. . . how are you with establishing boundaries generally?

      • Anon for this :

        Generally, fine with it. Better than I used to anyway, and I did move the tablet away this morning but the guy trying to watch the TV show on my tablet reacted by getting all huffy and mad, scoffing and shaking his head. I came away from it thinking “gee, what an entitled jerk” but I did wonder if maybe some people did think it was rude.

        • Baconpancakes :

          Ah, at first I got really offended on your behalf, because you said “reading,” which – yes, that is extremely rude. But if you’re watching a video, it’s a bit more nebulous. Totally fine for you to move it, and he was eye-rollingly entitled if he got upset, but it’s also not a huge deal that you were playing something that flashes and moves and is generally attention-grabbing and someone watched it from where they were sitting.

    • I don’t care, I guess. I just don’t see why it matters, unless you’re reading something sensitive, which you should do on the metro anyway, or they’re getting uncomfortably physically close to you to do so. But you do you.

    • Cookbooks :

      I’ve had this happen to me on the subway. If someone peeks at my book to see what I’m reading, and then tells me “Oh, that’s a great book!” or something, I don’t think it’s rude, per se.

      But when someone is reading over your shoulder for any length of time beyond a glance…yes. It feels a little intrusive. Some dude once was reading my texts and laughing. They were funny, but they weren’t meant for him, and it was wicked uncomfortable, so I made it a point to turn it away.

      • Anon for this :

        This is a good point, commenting on what someone is reading/watching is usually fine, although I will add that if you start a conversation about it, be okay with that person not really wanting to engage and preferring to return to what they were doing, by themselves.

        I once saw a guy sitting next to a woman, and staring intently at her book for a solid 20 minutes at least. I felt bad for her, because if someone did that to me I’d feel really weird, but I also wasn’t sure if I should say something. But what got me thinking about it today was a man sitting across the aisle from me leaning over and trying to watch a video playing on my tablet, and getting mad when I angled it away from him.

        • Cookbooks :

          That’s definitely rude; you’re not there to entertain him.

          • Linda from HR :

            Right? That’s more or less what I thought. And I could see someone being a little disappointed but that’s it.

            He was also older, so maybe he already had a general “ugh, young people and their screens” attitude. Like, if I’m gonna watch Mad Men right in front of him the least I can do is let him watch too.

      • Not that Anne, the other Anne :

        I agree that it feels intrusive. Once upon a time, I was on a plane reading a paper book. The male passenger in the seat next to me kept trying to read my book, possibly so he could then talk to me about my book. Unfortunately for him, I apparently read faster than he does, so I was turning the pages faster than he was expecting.

        Finally he gave up and said, “Boy, you sure do read fast.” I’m not entirely sure what I was supposed to say to that…..

    • Legally Brunette :

      I’ll be a dissenter and say that I’m not sure why it’s rude. It’s one thing if they are looking at your texts and emails (very rude) but if they’re looking over your shoulder reading a newspaper article, what’s the big deal? It’s not sensitive, private information and when you’re standing so close to someone on the subway it’s hard to NOT look.

      • Anon for this :

        I’d rather not focus too much on whether it’s rude to look, because it’s not like I can control what others do anyway, more focused on whether it’s reasonable to not like it and whether it’s okay to block people from doing it if possible, or whether it’s best to be just nice and share with others.

        • Anonymous :

          Did you see where Erin Andrews was on a plane, and saw that the guy next to her was texting his friends about her. She said to him, “you know, I’m a real person” or something along those lines.

        • Legally Brunette :

          I think it’s very reasonable to not like it and move away/block. You are not obligated to share your reading material with others.

      • Anonymous :

        They don’t know you’re not reading texts or emails. So just don’t do it.

      • I think it’s okay to look, and I admit that I’ve probably read a bit of someone’s newspaper article in my time… but I don’t think you should actually engage with whatever the other person is reading for any length of time. It’s rude to stare, and what are you going to do, ask the person not to turn the page because you haven’t finished what you were reading yet?

    • It’s 100% rude to read over someone’s shoulder, whether it’s a screen or something on paper. I realize we live in a crowded world, but a thoughtful/decent person does their best to avert their eyes.

      I am not sure who raised the rest of you, but check in with your parents. This is something they should have taught you.

    • It’s rude to stare and not rude to move. It is rude for the other person to get huffy when you establish boundaries.

  11. I’m going to Dallas this week for a conference and I will have a free day on Wednesday. What should I do? I’m staying at the Hyatt Regency, which appears to be downtown, and I won’t have a car of my own. Anything I can’t miss? Also, what’s the best way to get downtown from the airport? Are their public transportation options?

    • Diana Barry :

      We rented a car from the airport, but also took a bunch of Ubers (to go out at night) and found the Ubers to be really cheap and plentiful.

    • 6th floor book depository museum. Incredibly moving.

    • Anonymous :

      Weather should be nice on Wednesday- I’d definitely hit Klyde Warren Park for a bit. You could also stroll around the boutiques in Bishop Arts. The GWB Presidential Library is well done.

      You can take DART to/from the airport, but they only pick up at DFW at one gate; can’t remember which. The airport is huge so if you’re not familiar I’d take Uber.

      • Anonymous :

        Forgot to add – you can take DART to all of these. Just do a web search for “DART Travel Agent.”

    • I visited for a long weekend this spring. I rented a car, but took Uber to get around at night, which was fine. Like Fishie, I really liked the 6th Floor Museum. Deep Ellum neighborhood had good food and a cool vibe (Pecan Lodge was the famous BBQ place, and right next door was Emporium Pies, which I LOVED). I went to the Dallas Museum of Art which was good, but probably better if you like modern art. Honestly, I liked hanging out in Fort Worth much better (Kimball Museum, and the cheesy (but fun!!) historical stockyards)

    • I would take and uber or cab from the airport.
      No need for a car, parking will be expensive at the airport.

      Things to do:
      Klyde Warren Park is downtown. Great park with restaurants.
      Bush Library
      Reunion Tower (the Ball)
      Perot Museum

      • Parking will be expensive at the hotel*

        The mornings have been cool and nice here! I hope you enjoy your stay :)

    • Thanks for all the tips! :)

    • a millenial :

      nasher sculpture museum!

    • inhousejen :

      Do not rely on public transportation – the bus lines are extremely limited in location and hours and generally not usable. Uber will be your friend. What to do depends on your interests – the Perot Museum is a must on my list for first-time visitors; the Dallas Museum of Art and Nasher Sculpture Center are great if art is your jam; NorthPark mall is about 10 miles north of downtown but has art installations and upscale shopping (and normal shopping that you’d find anywhere too); Klyde Warren Park is good for food trucks and hanging out on the grass.

  12. I applied for a dream job online recently, fir which I believe I would be a competitive candidate. I uploaded my resume in PDF, Times New Roman, no special use of key words. After submitting my application, I was reading about online screening software. There was a list of things not to do and I did all of them. The company does not allow candidates to edit after applying, or to withdraw and reapply. I should pretty much accept it’s not going to happen, right?

    • Anonymous :

      Well if you can’t edit or reapply then this is it. But what exactly did you do that was so bad? I find some of those top 10 tips to be crazy sometimes – like I read one recently that said not to use Times New Roman bc it shows you couldn’t put in enough effort to find another font. Um – always used TNR and am employed.

      • My main concern is that the article said a lot of screening software won’t be able to read certain fonts (like TNR, which is what I used).

        • Rainbow Hair :

          It’s hard to believe that any decent software can’t read Times New Roman! I mean… I just have standard Adobe and it can OCR weirder fonts than that.

      • Granted, I work in the engineering world but any resume that’s NOT Times New Roman looks strange to me. Times New Roman is THE resume font.

        (I’m happy to stand corrected. You can probably imagine what font my resume consists of.)

    • I think you’re placing more faith in the article than you should. It totally depends on the company, of course, but there are plenty of places out there that have systems in place to make sure good candidates don’t slip away for the reasons you mentioned.

    • You can’t control the screen software, so I would stop worrying about that. I would focus my attention on searching my network to see if there’s someone you could reach out to or who could reach out on your behalf. Control what you can, don’t worry about the rest!

  13. How to Quit my Job :

    Looking for a little advice here. I have worked at the same law firm since I passed the Bar (about 6 years). I recently received an offer from another firm and I have accepted, so now it’s time to give my notice. I currently work at a small firm and I am the only attorney in my practice area and manage my department completely. When I leave, I would like to take my clients with me. I know that my employer will not be happy, but I think that it’s possible they may just close my department and send the cases to me. My department is not the big money maker for the firm because of the nature of the work, but it is a service that they like to be able to offer to their clients. For a variety of reasons, I think they will have difficulty filling my position and they are in the middle of trying to find a candidate to fill an important position in another department (the most profitable department).

    • How to Quit my Job :

      Ugh, hit post too soon. The question is – what would you say when you give your notice if you were me. Thanks!

      • (Former) Clueless Summer :

        Does your new firm do all the same things as current firm? If not, I would think you could propose a referral system or say something about looking forward to being a source of referrals for them and hope they will do the same? You might spin your departure as wanting to work in a larger group or with other people who do X, if that’s true.

    • No advice on how to give notice, but before you give notice definitely make sure you’ve copied your client files, your address book, and anything else you’d like to take with you. You have to be prepared for them to walk you out, even if you don’t think that will happen. I’ve never moved firms and taken clients with me, but I’m sure others on here have and can give you some advice about how to let clients know, etc. I’d be more concerned about managing the transition than about what to say when giving notice.

      • Anonymous :

        Um, not sure what state you’re in and it may vary by state, but I’d be incredibly cautious about “copying client files.” Those do not belong to you – they belong to the client and the client can direct whether they go with you or stay at your firm. Though I do agree to copy your address book and get things off your computer if you think there is any chance they will walk you out on the spot.

    • Make sure you’re up on your state bar rules on your duty to the firm and what that means in terms of taking clients with you.

  14. purse probs? :

    Anyone up for a bit of vicarious shopping? I am trying to stop dressing in business casual all weekend long and am therefore in the market for a “fun” daytime weekend handbag for fall. My dream purse should be 1) big enough for a water bottle or an apple but not big enough to schlep files or suggest it’s a secret diaper bag and 2) without exterior branding. I just can’t handle the ubiquitous nameplate/logo situation happening right now, and the only bags without it seem to cost $11 or $1,100.

    I’m aiming for something trendy, so my pricepoint is under $200.

    • What about Madewell? The transport crossbody seems weekend-y to me.

    • Calibrachoa :

      ModCloth? I am personally quite fond of these three

    • You don’t state a color preference so…

      This is available in black and red (& red is big for fall):
      Not so basic black:
      Lovely rich brown:

      Also – check out Madewell. Lots of bags that sounds like exactly what you are looking for.

  15. Afternoon Nanny :

    I posted a job on care dot com looking for an afternoon nanny to shuttle our kids to after school activities and give us a little more flexibility about when we got home. I spoke to one who we thought would be a really good fit and sent her an email asking to set up an in-person interview later this week so we could meet and she could meet the kids. And then this morning I get an email from care dot com that she’s been dropped from the site. They won’t say why – apparently it can be anything from a criminal conviction to not being able to verify some of the information she provided. One reason we liked her was that she had a number of positive references on the site. I have her cell phone number so I could reach out and still ask her why she was dropped. Has anyone hired someone that was dropped from the site before? This is our first go at trying to hire part-time help and I’m so frustrated that the lead that I thought was going to pan out might not (of course, if there is a serious reason she was dropped I also don’t want to put my kids in an unsafe situation).

    • Legally Brunette :

      I have no experience with this but we have had great luck hiring afternoon nannies through a university student jobs board. If you have a college nearby I would recommend you pursue that option (and they’re free, unlike Care).

    • I’ve hired multiple nannies through and some were good, some not. I quickly learned not to get too “invested” in any particular candidate because you might find someone great but they don’t want the position you are offering (the pay, not enough hours, not close enough to their home, etc.) or you might like someone a lot but they turn out to be irresponsible (we had a nanny with great references, and she literally took naps on our couch when her job involved only a few hours of toddler care a day). I have no idea why the person you met was dropped and I doubt you will find out, so move on. I interviewed (yes, met in person) about 10-12 candidates each time we had to find another nanny (our first 2 moved out of state for various reasons), and all of them had great references. Yes, it’s a lot of work. Be sure to meet them, and then do a “trial period” day with them to make sure they are a good fit before you make an actual offer.

      • Afternoon Nanny :

        Thanks, I know you are right. I’m just overwhelmed by the whole process. We are finally getting an afternoon nanny because our schedules are unmanageable right now and finding the time to interview that many people seems impossible (even though I know it will ease our burden significantly once we find the right person). Apparently, this is the close cousin to the “I need therapy but can’t find the time/energy to find a therapist and go to the appointments” problem…

    • I have not had that exact experience, but I had a lot of logistical issues with Care dot com that made me stop using it. Many technical problems, including one similar to yours. I did not get an email that she had been dropped, but she was just no longer on there, and the tech helper couldn’t tell me why or put me back in touch with her. They also sent like ten emails per day, and I couldn’t unsubscribe from them without deleting my account (which I eventually did out of exasperation). I found the entire thing very user unfriendly, and your experience fits with that.

  16. Anonymous :

    It’s 9/11 and this is the first yr I’m not in NYC – so it feels weird. And I’m surrounded by people who were under 10 yrs old when it happened so to them it’s just a historical event that happened. As I’m listening to these people laugh and joke, I’m missing NYC today – where my office — and the city esp downtown — had a certain “stillness” on 9/11.

    • Anonymous :

      I know what you mean about the stillness. I’m in NYC, downtown, and I could hear bagpipes this morning. I read coverage of 9/11 every year – articles or stories that I hadn’t seen before, a few that I re-read – and it does feel so strange that life moves on. I mean, it has to, but it feels out of step with where my mind is on this day. I think it’s also particularly challenging this year with so much attention (rightfully) spent on the effects of Harvey and Irma.

    • It’s a very sad day for those of us who used to work in the area, and I guess everyone really. I used to send a note to my former work friend every year, as she lost her husband in the incident. I’d just say, thinking of you today or something along those lines. She usually responded to say thanks. Last year my message got returned and a little googling revealed she’d died within the last year, which makes me even sadder. She’d have been in her late forties. Not sure what happened, very little info available online….

  17. Calibrachoa :

    I know it is probably not the best thing to my hair, but I often use elastic bracelets as ponytail holders, especially if they have been damaged somehow so the hair hides the imperfections unlike my wrist would. Like, right now I am wearing bracelet in my hair where the wooden beads have become discolored in a way that doesn’t look right when worn, but when wrapped around my hair a few times it looks intentional.

  18. Re: hair accessories. I used to be a claw clip addict. I’d start the work day with good intentions and hair down, but 90% of the time it ended up in a claw clip by mid morning.

    I saw a few unexpected photos of myself in a meeting and realized it did not look good, so I got my hair cut shorter and now it’s just long enough for the claw clip updo, but not long enough to stay there. It’s much better this way. I broke the habit.

    I will admit to a scrunchie around the house. I hear they’re coming back in.

    • Rainbow Hair :

      I’m getting my rainbows removed (womp womp!) but I think that getting my hair cut significantly shorter might be a good idea while I’m at it, if I can break my bun habit. When it’s long, I can put my hair up without any clips or anything, but it’s not always a great look.

    • Thank GOD! Another Schrunchie lover! I think the HIVE ought to adopt the SCHRUNCHIE. After all, there is strength in numbers, and if other HIVETTTES all start wearing SCHRUNCHIES, we can set a trend among the professional women who can redefine what is attractive to the male members of our profession who, to date, insist that we wear our hair down, b/c we look s-xier that way. I am tired of looking s-xier for the manageing partner and his cleint’s, who spend all to much time ooogeling me rather then listening to my legal theories. DOUBEL FOOEY on men that just like to oooogle us!

  19. Do any of you ladies know good spas in and around the Inner Harbor/Downtown Baltimore area? My sister is my maid of honor this fall and I would love to buy her a day at a great place, but we live really far away and I’m not familiar with Baltimore. Any recommendations would be great!

    • Charmed Girl :

      I’ve tended to not like spas in Baltimore– a whole variety of bad service and too expensive. That said, when I lived in Baltimore I had a great massage therapist, Missi Kibelbek. I believe she now has someone that does wraps and such. Not the spa like environment, but an incredible massage experience. The neighborhood she works in is lots of fun for poking around if you want to do that too. Her website is baltimoreloft dot com

      Love, love, love Missi and miss her!

    • There’s a great spa called AboutFaces. They have several in the Baltimore region and one located in Canton. I’ve done bridesmaid stuff there before and it was great. Kind of pricey but fabulous.

  20. Home Depot Skeleton :

    We happened past this Halloween decoration over the weekend, link to follow. It’s a skeleton with a motion detector that begins playing “Dixie” when you walk by. Our jaws dropped.

    • Home Depot Skeleton :

    • Home Depot Skeleton :

      Link in mod I guess. It’s playing the banjo, called “49 in. Halloween Animated Banjo Skeleton”, if anyone is interested.

    • Gross. And cue the “but it’s our heritage!” apologists.

    • Anonymous :

      Ok, so, I am not from the US but I know these songs from childhood and never knew people found them offensive. Do people find them offensive? Who does, and why?

      • I think just that they are the equivalent of Confederate statues, celebrating that time period.

  21. Fishie paging Sloan Sabbith :

    Once again, someone has benefited from your advice to do the thing instead of worrying about doing the thing – me. I had a thing. It was worrisome. I did it anyway, and while it’s still not awesome, it is less worrisome because I did part of the thing and at least I now know the scope of the thing. I was about to pack it in and go home and worry about it all night, but I thought about your advice about doing the thing, and I did it. Thank you.

    • I just did the thing this afternoon. Now that means I have to do more things related to this thing but getting it off the ground was the part I was dreading. Thanks Sloan!

  22. Mom at work :

    I’ve posted a few times about my transition from NYC biglaw to a smaller firm in a midsize city. I seem to be having a hard time with it. I’ve been at the firm for just over 4 months and I have had a hard time getting steady work. I was busy on an interesting case for a while, then I was getting work in a totally different area then what I was hired for, and now I have no work at all. I got really good feedback on the work I’ve done so I really don’t think it’s a work product issue. I’m starting to get really down about it. I had one call scheduled for today and it just got cancelled and I could cry. I’m so bored and starting to feel really bad about myself. Aside from all the networking things to try to start bringing in work myself, how can I pass the time and how worried should I be about this?

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