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What is your ideal career — what would you do if you could do almost anything? Would you try to follow your passion, or seek something along more amorphous lines?
There was a really interesting op-ed in The Wall Street Journal the other day about a new class at NYU's Stern School of Business called “Becoming You.” The woman behind the class, Suzy Welch, has been a longtime CNBC contributor and author on topics like leadership and strategy, and she also teaches at Stern. After 2020 hit, she proposed the class to the dean: the class she wished had existed.
I was actually hoping to teach a class about figuring out what to do with your career when you can do almost anything because of your education and good luck in life—the class I wish had existed when I was at Harvard Business School. I had desperately needed that class, and I knew I hadn’t been alone.
She spends a lot of time in the op-ed pointing out that most business school graduates end up going into consulting, finance, or tech. Yes, she notes, the financial security of these jobs is a big draw — but there's a “deeply rooted group instinct” driving the decision, as well.
A lot of very smart, very capable people, usually in their late 30s and early 40s, wake up miserable one day. Over my years as a journalist specializing in the workplace, I saw this phenomenon so often I came to dub it “The Velvet Coffin”—a state of cushy creature comfort encased in emotional or intellectual dissatisfaction.
“Becoming You,” as I conceived it, would help avert this fate by encouraging M.B.A. students to think about careers another way—as a journey toward their “area of destiny,” the world of opportunity that exists at the intersection of their authentic values, their strongest skills and aptitudes, and the kind of work that interests and excites them intellectually and emotionally.
(She basically ends the piece by noting that industry should be recruiting M.B.A. students more than they currently do. Here's another article on the course from Poets & Quants, and THANKS, yes, I am obsessed with her sweater.)
But I was fascinated by the course — and the basic question! What WOULD you do if you could do almost anything for work?
For my $.02, I think the idea of an “area of destiny” can be flawed — in my youth I might have thought First Amendment or copyright issues might be that area of destiny for me, but in the practice of it I found it to be really boring at the lower levels, at least.
(This sort of brings me back to the recruiter who gave me some of the worst career advice I'd heard: that I should follow my passions. The example he gave was, if I loved baseball, I should be a lawyer for a baseball team! Say what? I really enjoy reading romance novels, but I'm not sure I'd want to write one, let alone 15… and I really doubt I'd find satisfaction in being a lawyer, agent, or editor involved in the process.)
But Suzy Welch is onto something important with this idea that there might be a job that exists at “the intersection of [your] authentic values, [your] strongest skills and aptitudes, and the kind of work that interests and excites [you] intellectually and emotionally.”
So — let's look at our current careers through these lenses. Are you happy? If so, are all of the domains met?
For me, yes, I am happy with my current career.
Does it speak to my authentic values? I guess I like helping people find things; I've always thought of the “Corporette voice” as a big sister voice, and I've always been very close with my little brother. Feminism and the encouragement of other women is important to me.
Am I using my strongest skills and aptitudes? I've always been a killer shopper, if I do say so myself, and I have a good memory. I also think one of my skills is being curious and enjoying learning — it can be overwhelming at times the amount of information that changes for blogging best practices and SEO and the technology, but I enjoy learning it. I think I'm probably a better writer than most, but the real skill is that I can crank out (mostly) readable things in a pretty quick and painless manner.
Is it the kind of work that interests and excites me intellectually and emotionally? Yes, I guess, as much as lightweight stuff like fashion and personal growth can be emotionally satisfying — but then I've always known I didn't want to do anything “heavy” emotionally for a career. I enjoy coming up with new content ideas and revisiting old content ideas. It's particularly interesting to me how much things have changed since the website began — it really feels like there's been a lot of societal changes, mostly forward for women.
I do think a big chunk of your “area of destiny” also has to come back to the day-to-day tasks, also, like in our discussion of Carter Cast's book and how to know whether your job is right for you. For example, I hated being a lawyer because so much of it is, at base, a customer service position — the whole “If they ask you to jump, you ask how high” idea. I didn't mind my days as a journalist, but I laugh to think of all the time I spent on the phone. Not even interviewing people, but doing mundane things like fact-checking, requesting books or products for review, accepting lunches on behalf of my more senior editors.
I don't know, guys, what are your thoughts — what would you do (for work) if you could do almost anything? Would you try to follow your passion, or seek something along more amorphous lines? If you look at your current job/career, how much do you think you're in the intersection of your values, your skills, and the work that interests and excites you intellectually and emotionally? (How much do you love or hate all of the day-to-day tasks on your plate right now?)
(If, upon doing the exercise, you realize that your current job/career is lacking in one of those domains, do you have a path clear to you for where to go next?)
Anonymous
Just curious: how are your relationships with your siblings in law? Husband has 1 sister and initially I was super excited to be getting a new sister, however, after 9 years I can admit that our personalities don’t mesh well. We are cordial at family holidays/events but I am a bit disappointed that we aren’t closer. She is extremely assertive (bordering on aggressive) and only talks about herself. I dont think shes asked how I am doing once. Husband is also not close with his sister, they have vastly different personalities (if they didn’t look alike I would have no clue they were related based on demeanor/personality.) Anyway, are you besties with your in laws, cordial, etc?
Senior Attorney
I get along with my brother’s wife on the rare occasions when we’re together but I wouldn’t say we have an independent friendship. Same with my former husband’s sister — we got along okay but didn’t seek each other out. My first husband (father of my daugher) and his sister have become the only “family” my current (widowed, childless, orphan, only child) husband and I have (other than my daughter) and the sister and I are reasonably close (spend Thanksgiving and Christmas together, remember birthdays) but otherwise don’t communicate more than once every few months.
Anon
I really like my SIL (brother’s wife), but have barely spent any time with her, probably less than 10 hours total in the four years they’ve been married and the couple years they dated before that. We live far away, there’s been a pandemic, and life events (pregnancy, young children, moving, new jobs, illness) have also conspired to keep us away from each other. But I think there’s no ill will on either side (certainly not on mine).
Anonymous
I really like 1 of the 3, one is just fine but we don’t see her often, and the 3rd is perfectly dreadful.
anon
I like my BILs but don’t consider us close, necessarily. I am not a fan of my SIL.
Anon
I like one BIL and SIL; the other BIL and SIL are the reason I don’t attend any events with my in laws. They are really awful people – they think cruelty is fun. I don’t like tossing around loaded terms lightly… actual licensed counselors have used the term “emotional abuse” to describe their treatment of me.
Anom
Because of geography I’m not besties with either my sister’s husband or my husband’s brother and his wife. But I like all of them and have warm relationships with them. I’ve known my sister’s husband for 25 years. We clashed in the beginning due to personalities, but that was when we were 20! I get along really well with my sister and my husband gets along really well with his brother.
anon
I get along great with DHs brother and his wife when we meet. We live on different continents and are also in different life stages. I wish we had at least a text group where I can get updates on my little nieces but I think they already have so much local family going on that they are not interested. DH and his brother text, and I get a morsel of information once every blue moon.
Anon
Similar situation to you. My husband has one sister, they’re civil but not close. I was so excited to get a sister, but we never really clicked. She’s four years younger than my husband but the age gap feels larger because she’s kind of immature, and she was a teen (in college, but still a teen) when we met and was resentful of me “taking away” her brother. We get along fine now, there’s no conflict and we make polite small talk when we see each other 1-2 times per year (we live far apart, or we’d see more of them), but she’s not someone I would ever call for advice or support or anything like that. She’s pretty close with my kids though at least currently (they’re in preschool).
Anon8
I’m in an MFA program right now for fiction, and after a ten day on campus residency, I can say with some certainty that’s the world I want to be in. Unfortunately, the publishing industry has famously been nose-diving for some years. I’m so sad to get a glimpse of the type of career I could be really passionate about, knowing that I would struggle so much more financially than I do now in my (well-paying, stressful, yet extremely boring) insurance industry job.
Anonymous
I have an MFA in visual art, which I got because I thought it could maybe help me get a college teaching job, which is one of the only ways to get paid to be an artist (and teacher). Sadly those jobs are very few and far between, and I kind of retired from making art when I had my son 10 years ago. But I’m realizing now I need to do something creative, if only in my free time. My day job is in fundraising for an arts organization, which has been a decent compromise (and something you might look into if you need a day job and can’t find one in publishing – arts nonprofits are filled with creative people, and fundraising pays better than most nonprofit jobs). But it is nearly impossible to make a living as an artist of any kind.
Becca
Hi Anon8, ex-arts nonprofit worker here, now in tech. As Anonymous likely already knows, the only roles in nonprofit that pay are in Development. If you’re not interested in fundraising and “the annual art auction” look elsewhere. IME, nonprofit jobs (mine was arts education/program management) are great in your 20s & 30s, but not so much as you get older and actually want/need to afford things like a home, retirement, surprise medical expenses, an occasional vacation. While I do miss working alongside other artists, I do not miss the low pay, lack of advancement opportunities, and the sentiment that the work is its own reward (commonly expressed by leadership to justify the low pay). If your partner has a real job that addresses the real financial requirements every adult has, then a nonprofit job can be fun for a while. You definitely want to be in Development though and always networking with the board and that handful of really involved donors who attend all the events.
Anonymous
I would want to travel back in time and be a newspaper news and features reporter in a small city/border rural area again. I met so many amazing and inspiring people. It was never the same day and you never knew what the next week would bring. I loved going out in the community and popping into people who knew me by name from my column–it was like being a mini celebrity. I also felt like the work I did mattered, since I often covered city council and school board activities and issues that were hitting the community. The work was sometimes hard–the speed involved was intense and the pressure to be right. But I had very little oversight. We pitched a lot of what we wanted to cover. It was like having the freedom to learn about what you wanted to learn. And the team I worked with were some of the coolest, smartest and friendliest people. We would regularly hang out on off hours. Maybe some of it was just the glow of being fresh out of school. But I know I’ll never find another job I will love like that one.
(Of course, I also grew up and realized you needed to make enough to pay the bills. And instead of folks introducing themselves to me in Walmart, I’d probably be spit on these days given folks’ warped view of press.)
Anon
I would work in accounting for Medecins sans Frontieres. I have a lot of experience in non-profits, and I’m really eagle-eyed. Oh, and I speak French and a little bit of German, which would be good languages for an international group.
pugsnbourbon
A few years ago a job at Partners in Health popped up that I was somewhat qualified for. I don’t know if I could hack it in Boston (or if I’d want to) but I was sorely tempted.
Anonymous
I worked in international development for several years, and I would highly encourage you to check it out if you feel interested! in my experience, some of the most valuable members of the team were folks who also had for-profit experience in their backgrounds — just a different way of looking at things than the non-profit lifers (who are also awesome)
Anon
Pearl farmer or jeweler.
Anonymous
Are we assuming we have the actual skill for the job? Because mine is National Geographic photographer or writer. But my photography isn’t close to that level.
Anon
I worked as a travel writer and for me at least it was only a dream job on paper. The thing most people don’t realize is that it’s 5% traveling and writing and 95% pitching magazines and networking with editors. I’m introverted and really hated how much you have to schmooze and promote yourself, which is why I left. I guess if you were on staff somewhere it might not involve so much marketing and networking, but these days even the prestige publications like NatGeo and Travel and Leisure really mostly on freelance writers.
Anon
I briefly worked in humanitarian aid in my early 20s and returning to that would be my dream. Likewise, a UN human rights investigator.
I work in a somewhat related field now, but it’s desk based and not nearly as “cool”.
Anon
If I could do almost anything that followed a passion, that maybe I don’t currently have all the skills? First thing I think of is becoming a bookbinder or book designer. Like covers, text layout, and hand crafting books.
If I could do almost anything that aligned with my current career as a cpa? Basically keep my job, minus a couple of tasks I don’t enjoy, and make it part time.
Hannah
I would relax and luxuriate and live a slow rich life. I do not dream of labor.
Anonymous Grouch
Secret shopper for luxury resort properties, or perhaps the person who goes on trips and then writes the boilerplate trip descriptions for tour companies. “You’ll start your day with a delicious breakfast featuring locally grown fruits and dairy from the hotel’s own cow! Your guide will meet you in the lobby for a leisurely tour of local vineyards…..”. Basically enjoying paid-for travel and lightweight, no pressure travel writing.