ByKat Hours Updated
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Coffee Break: Loyal Heart Pumps

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Indigo by Clarks Loyal Heart Black LeatherI was updating some of the links in The Corporette Guide to Comfortable Heels and came across these lovely Indigo by Clarks heels. They're not exactly trendy at the moment, but I'm ok with that — I still think this style of shoe is a great way to get some height without sacrificing comfort, and that they look lovely with tights as well as pants. They were $120, but are now marked to $50 at 6pm.com. Indigo by Clarks Loyal Heart Black Leather (L-3)

Sales of note for 12.3.24 (lots of Cyber Monday deals extended, usually until 12/3 at midnight)

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

133 Comments

  1. I know cold offices have been discussed in detail, but I need product recommendations. I am wanting to get a heated blanket for mine. I’m not worried about it seeming unprofessional, I know the partners won’t mind. So, what are your favorite brands? Thanks!

    1. I ordered a Beautyrest one from Amazon a couple years ago that has held up well, even after a couple times through the washing machine (sans cord, of course). It’s warm and cozy without being overly fuzzy.

      Looks like it’s sold out but I’ll post the link anyway so you can try to search for something similar.

    2. When I was workeing as a college coop, I had to sit at the front desk on the HILL in a VERY old buildeing that did NOT have a good heateing system. I told them to turn UP the heat alot of times, but they said it was UP ALL THE WAY already! So I told my dad, and he called our CONGRESSMAN, and within a week, the CONGRESSMAN arranged for them to send a HEATEING MAT THAT I PLUGGED INTO THE AC OUTLET. Once I plugged it in, my feet got very warm and this helped me stay warm even tho the REST of my Body was NOT warm. It realy did help. So if you have probelem’s like I did, you can ALWAYS have your dad call your Congressman. YAY!

    3. Go on amazon and look up sunbeam cozy spot. Best invention ever for this problem. It’s a tiny heating pad that only gets warm, not super hot. I put. It on my lap, behind my back, whatever indeed to ewarm up. It’s the only thing that has helped and my day is a lot more bearable.

  2. Anyone have advice for motivation for getting up early (ideally 5 instead of my current 6:30)? I was good at this for a long time, and suddenly I just can’t get up. I think it is because I subconsciously know I have plenty of time to get ready if I get up at 6:30…but I would be so much less rushed and could get some things done at home before heading to the office if I would just.get.out.of.bed. Sigh

    1. 5:00 is EARLY (Ellen caps justified in my view). I applaud your efforts. However, is it possible that maybe your metabolism has changed, or you are going to bed later, or something else is different about your schedule that wasn’t there before? My experience is that if your body just won’t let you get up, it needs the rest.

      If nothing has changed, then can you try shifting your wake-up time back gradually, by 15 minutes or so every couple of days, until you have achieved the wake-up time you want?

    2. I find it much harder to get up early when it’s dark outside, so maybe that accounts for the change? Even though I have the blinds drawn I wake up much earlier in the summer, well before my alarm, while in the winter it can be hard to get up even at the alarm time.

    3. Get the Phillips wake up light (available on Amazon). You can set the alarm, brightness, whether you want sound (birds chirping), etc. I just bought one a few weeks ago and it has been fantastic since the time change.

      1. I have this and though it is great, it only works if you are not like me and just keep sleeping through the light!

        1. The chirping birds are pretty annoying. Not like siren-annoying, but they are subversive and eventually you’ll want them to stop. Just put the lamp out of arms reach and then you’ll have to get out of bed anyway to shut them up.

          1. Ha, I have it set to the chirping birds and that’s exactly how I feel about it. First time I heard them I thought it was kind of cute, but now I just want to shut them up. Which means I have to get out of bed. I hate those birds now.

          2. They are cute at first, in the morning, but then you start being able to hear the repeat in the recording. And then it goes from being cute and charming to weird and mechanical. But it works with the light, in the gradual build up to waking you up, instead of the blare of an alarm.

          3. In college I had my computer play an mp3 in the morning to wake me up and no matter what song it was I would hate it within a week of it being the wake up song. So, it’s probably not the birds’ fault so much as the fact that it’s 5 am.

    4. For me, its a mental thing. I just tell myself that it is absolutely non-negotiable. I tell myself that the night before and right when the alarm goes off. Then I wake up, turn on as many lights as a I can, brush my teeth, put my contacts in, etc.

      If I give myself any wiggle room, I will take it and fall back asleep.

      Other than that, my only other advice is go to bed earlier. If its hard to get into bed earlier, after 2-3 days of the early wake-up call, it will seem much easier to get into bed earlier. A 9:30 wind-down in bed with a 10:00 bedtime is standard and normal for me. If you are getting up at 5:00, you may need to be in bed with a book by 8:30 and asleep by 9:00 – 9:15.

    5. I turn my bedside (bright!) light on as soon as my alarm goes off *the first time.* Then if I’m snoozing, I’m snoozing in bright light.

      If this is important to you, you should be practicing good sleep hygiene. That includes abstaining from alcohol or caffeine in the afternoon, winding down about an hour before going to actual bed, and not doing anything in your bed except for sleeping (i.e., no work papers, no laptop, etc.). “Winding down” for me includes tv, because I fall asleep to it pretty quickly, but for some people, tv makes them stay up, so you should turn the tv off if it’s keeping you awake.

      Have you been told you snore? You could also have sleep apnea. That occurs when oxygen isn’t getting to your brain when you sleep, and so you aren’t getting deep, restful sleep.

    6. Is there some way to move around your activities so that you have a reason to leave the house really early? Like going to gym in the morning instead of at night? I started getting up at (gasp!) 4:30 about 6 months ago to go to a 3 day a week 5:30 am bootcamp style program. The cost of the program is high enough that I know there is a “can’t waste my money” component to the motivation. Having somewhere that I have to be makes it possible for me to kick off the inertia and get moving. And the upside of 4:30 3 mornings a week is that 5:30 feels totally doable on my off days.

    8. I get up at 5:45. The change from 6:00 to 5:45 seemed really hard when I did it, but it was necessary so I could have a little videochat each morning with my SO while I drink my coffee. It’s not too bad for me, but I have to be strict with myself and go to bed no later than 10:30 pm. It’s generally dark out but if I sleep until the sun comes up now, my cat comes in meowing because I’ve clearly overslept.

    9. This sounds really weird, but it works for me: I tell myself that I can go back to bed after I shower. Then I get up, shower, put whatever clothes on I can that won’t wrinkle, get back in bed, and reset my alarm for 3-5 minutes after I get back in bed. At no point an I “allowed” to hit snooze. So I get myself out of bed with the promise that if I just do this one thing (shower) I can go back to bed, and I’m usually awake enough by the time I get back in bed that I don’t do more than dooze before my alarm goes off.

      Everyone I’ve told this to has thought that I’m insane, but it really works for me.

      1. omg, I do the same thing! When in high school and I was very, very sleep deprived I would get back in bed just as you say. Now, I tell myself I can sleep on the train- and some days if I’m very tired I do, but most days I am awake enough to start answering emails/IMs, am surrounded by other awake commuters, and forget about the dark lonely seconds after the alarm went off when my whole being cried NOOooooooo.

    10. I force myself to put on my glasses and get out of bed, even if it’s just at trip to the bathroom or to get a glass of water. I can’t sleep with my glasses on my face and once I get my body out of bed, I can start to function. It’s the getting out of bed part that’s the hardest for me.

    11. Awhile back, I read somewhere that you can “train” yourself to wake up earlier by focusing intently on the time you want to get up as you’re falling asleep. I know it sounds crazy, but I do it every night now, and I find myself almost always waking up a few minutes earlier than my (5:30am) morning alarm.

      2. I do this too. It works best if you are generally well-rested. My inner clock wakes me up a few minutes before my alarm on weekdays.

        1. I do this too, and it doesn’t matter now, after many years, how tired I am or how early it is. I just have to look at the time it is when I go to bed, and tell myself a few times what time I need to wake up. I ALWAYS wake up within 5 minutes of that time, even if I only got 4 or 5 hours of sleep. Some crazy internal clock stuff.

    12. I don’t think I could ever get up at 5:00, but I find that if I either start reading a book or doing something on my phone as soon as I wake up, it keeps me from falling back asleep. I also agree with the advice to turn on a light right away when the alarm goes off.

    13. I woke up early this morning (or on time) instead of snoozing as I normally do and I was pleasantly surprised at how much better my day was when I had time to get ready slowly instead of running out the door and feeling frazzled all morning. Maybe you just need to remind yourself of how amazing it is to have extra time in the morning? Or maybe give yourself a treat if you wake up on time? Like a great cup of coffee to sip on instead of needing to gulp it down as you run around?

    14. I’m trying to do this in order to work out, but I’m putting it off until the time change. I just cannot do it when it’s this dark out.

    15. When I had to be up early, my failsafe was to drink 48 oz of water before bed (your exact amount may vary). Then, when I got up to go to the bathroom at 5 a.m., I turned the shower on and got in. It was hard to not stumble back to bed but it really, really worked. Bonus – I had fantastic skin from all the hydration during that time.

    16. I get up at 4:30, my alarm clock is across the room on the way to the bathroom. I go to the bathroom. Then I take a Vitamin D with a big glass of water, make my bed, and throw on my workout clothes. I leave by 4:45 to go workout. My problem is when I get back either after the shower or before, on days when I know I do not *need* to leave for another hour (around 6:30 or 7) and I find myself waking up on the couch or at the dining room table if I am too sleep deprived. The only thing that helped with that was get ready at the gym and going straight to the office (no couch/breakfast work time transition).

      The other thing I do that hasn’t been mentioned is I turn my iPhone to airplane mode and use this app “Sleep Cycle” in addition to my alarm that supposedly measures your movement and thereby your REMs. It supposedly helps you not wake up when you are in deep sleep and whether it works or not, the days I remember to do that I do wake up in a better mood. It’s a nice little tune also.

      It took me years to get to this point and having someone to meet or a class is pretty much the only thing that made me a regular early riser. I can sleep through light, noise, for 13 hours, I mean it just seemed impossible. If you can’t be accountable to yourself, try being accountable to someone or something else if the rest doesn’t work.

    17. Do you have a dog? Give him a treat at 5 AM every day for a week (whether you get out of bed or not). Doing so creates a boppy, wet-nosed, hairy monster who will never let you sleep beyond that time. Ever.

  3. Okay, I’ve finally realized that leggings just confuse me. I asked a question about this late in the day last week but didn’t get many responses. What do you wear under a long cardigan with leggings? The front still shows. Any ideas for longer but still fitted-ish t-shirts to wear with leggings? Do longer shirts with knee high boots make you look shorter because they’re cutting your legs off? I know leggings are not pants, but how long is long enough in the rear? What is your favorite thing to wear with leggings?

    We finally have some fall weather in Houston, so I must know. :) Thanks in advance!!

    1. Not popular around these parts, but I wear leggings with long cardigans and a regular tee shirt. I don’t worry about the tee shirt or shirt covering the front part. I also wear good quality leggings that are thick and not see through and I don’t have “camel toe.”

    2. I wear leggings with tunics and other dresses. It’s a great way to extend the life of your dresses into another season! I often pair with boots or cute flats, depending on how cold it is.

    3. I agree with the poster above — as long as there is no “detailing” of lady parts and no see-through issues anywhere — you should be OK. I think looks that incorporate long cardigans over a t-shirt, plus flats work. I also saw leggings + long chambray shirt + tall boots.

      FWIW, I only wear leggings instead of tights under dresses. But that’s just me.

    4. Definitely cover your rear end when wearing leggings. I saw a 20-something girl at church this weekend wearing skin-tight leggings with the word “Pink” across the back. She was young and toned, but still, not a good look.

    5. I don’t think you need to cover anything, as long as you’re not wearing cheap see-through leggings and they don’t ride up anywhere unpleasant.

        1. Another vote for: you do not!

          And I will not! And a thousand-nation army could not hold me back! :)

    6. Going to be the voice of dissent here and say that I really dislike the look of shorter shirts with leggings, even with a long cardigan to cover the back. I’m vehemently in the leggings-are-not-pants camp, and for me that means the top layer needs to provide full coverage from all sides.

      I have a pair of legging-ish jeans (stretchy denim with no back pockets, but definitely much thicker fabric than your average jegging) that I only wear with tunic sweaters. I have this one from AT that works well for this purpose:

      http://www.anntaylor.com/italian-merino-wool-v-neck-tunic/312706
      (it doesn’t look very long on the model but I’m 5’7″ and it adequately covers my front and back)

      This one also looks promising:
      http://www.anntaylor.com/collectible-cashmere-asymmetrical-hem-tunic/318002

      I don’t think long tops with knee-high boots cuts you off, but I try to keep the bottom half as close to one color as possible (black boots with black or very dark denim).

    7. My rule w/ leggings is that your crotch has to be covered front and back. I have several tunic-length camis (from Victoria’s Secret!) that I wear under sweaters to achieve this look. I also have tunic-length sweaters (from Boden, and Nordstrom) that I’ll wear w/ leggings. I think “tunic” is usually in the name of the product, and at my average height (5’7) this works for me. Finally, I have also purchased things two sizes too big (eg, a chambray shirt from J Crew in XL) that I can wear w/ leggings.

  4. I will be in Indianapolis for work for a few days this month, but I will definitely have some free time. Any suggestions for things to do/see/eat while I’m there?

    1. The Children’s Museum is pretty awesome but maybe weird kid-less? The IMA is manageable and I think they do late nights on day during the week. Broad Ripple is a cute neighbourhood.

      1. I love the Children’s Museum, kids or no kids, and it’s one of the few things that I think is really special about Indy.

        For food, I’d recommend R Bistro (if it’s still around) or the Rathskeller, but someone who is actually from Indy (instead of just the state) might have better recommendations.

    2. Mesh on Mass Ave is delicious! I was in Indy for a conference in March and we ate there 2 nights in a row because it was that good.

    3. The Eiteljorg (sp?) Museum is also really cool. And walking along the Canal Walk and White River State Park.

  5. I have last season’s version of these in grey and I heart them so much! They are as comfy as all my Indigo heels, which are my running around all day heels, and I love the slightly vintage look of the laceup. I am still using the matching laces that came with them, but I have also thought about swapping them out with ribbons for a little more fun. ;o)

    1. I love the look of these. I’m relieved that my size is not available at 6 pm, because I cannot justify buying shoes right now.

  6. So is it me… or does the dry cleaner shrink my clothes? I could just be getting bigger around the middle… but not this much.

    Does this happen to anyone else?

    1. Yessss. That has absolutely happened to me. At first I thought I had gained weight, but like you, I finally realized I couldn’t have gained *that* much weight. Find a new dry cleaner!

    3. Yes!

      I have noticed that the linings in some clothes have gotten longer than the clothes. The natural fibers get cooked and shrink and the lining creeps down. This has been very noticeable with stretch wool.

      1. This is very illuminating for me! I have this issue with one of my skirts and had no idea what was going on. It’s also a lot tighter than it used to be, while all my other clothes still fit the same way. Fooey on my cleaners! They are definitely not cheap, so I don’t know what the excuse is.

    4. Yep. I’ve had wool suiting trousers shrink up an inch at the hem after taking them to a less than stellar (read: cheap) dry cleaner. Learned my lesson and now I take all my clothes to a much more reputable place. For me, the higher cost is offset by the peace of mind that my clothes won’t come back ruined and in need of replacement. I try to stretch out wears between cleanings (airing out after a day of wear, pressing/steaming garments before they go back in the closet, etc) to cut down on dry cleaning bills.

    7. Yes and it’s a real thing. I wish I could find a decent dry cleaner that doesn’t because I am so tired of hand washing my clothes.

  7. Career related TJ: Is it wise to suggest or state a location preference when a company has advertised a position and listed a number of different locations. As an example, some ads I have seen look something like “Senior analyst: This position reports to Senior XYZ and can be resident in our offices located in NYC, Chicago or VA”. Is there a likelihood that by stating a preference it could be a disadvantage if the location you choose turns out to be very popular amongst the entire pool of applicants?

    Also is there any way I can increase my chances of landing an interview and hopefully eventually a position? I’m already using LinkedIn to talk to people at organizations I’m interested in. A recruiter suggested that after applying for a job I could also try getting in touch with hiring managers whenever possible and doing an “elevator pitch” to ensure my resume is one of those thats gets pulled. This is based on the assumption that for certain positions, there could be hundreds or thousands of applicants. But yesterday someone else suggested that could also be counter-productive, could be seen as being too pushy…..Comments and suggestions are welcome. Thanks!

    1. I would think it depends on how important location is to you. If you really want to go to NYC, then it seems like it makes sense to indicate that, even if you think it will be the most popular choice (assuming you currently have a job and can afford to be choosy). If the job is more important to you and you would take this job in any of the listed locations, then I’d either say nothing about location or say you are interested in all the possible locations.

    2. I’m no help on the second point, but on the first point, I’d say state a preference if you have one, and don’t worry about gaming the system. If you truly don’t have a preference, then state that (or if you’re partial to one location but willing to relocate, say that). I don’t think there’s any point in stating a preference that doesn’t accurately reflect your true preference.

    3. While you may limit the number of places you’d be considered, do you really want to live anywhere for a job? I think for most people, location matters a lot so I would just apply where you actually want to live. It’s not uncommon when interviewing somewhere other than where you live now to have to explain “why that area” and if your answer is just “I want a job/willing to go anywhere,” I think that could actually hurt you as I don’t think a lot of people would believe you’d be happy or stay somewhere long term without an independent reason to want to live somewhere. Long way of saying, state a preference and have a reason for it. Also, your job isn’t your whole life – don’t sacrifice everything for a job.

    4. If you already live in one of those locations, then your preference is likely implied. However, if you truly do have a preference, you should explain your choice in a cover letter. For a young professional, any of the three locations are exciting so by not stating a preference you do not seem desperate. (However if I didn’t have a preference, I would not state so.)

      Does anyone else read this as a telecommute option? It sounds like one holding this position can choose to reside in any of the three regions. I’m sure you are summarizing the listing but it seems as if the interview is for one position, not multiple. Especially because it lists your superior by name and not Senior Vice President, Regional Manager or some other general job title.

      1. @Aggie, actually I had not considered the idea of telecommuting. Maybe that is what the listing actually means. I don’t get the idea that there are multiple positions, it seems like they are looking for one person. Thanks for providing a different perspective. Also, the superior’s name is not listed it actually states that the position will be reporting to “a senior director”. Thanks to all for the input!

    5. I wouldn’t read it as telecommuting. I work for a megacorporation with offices all over the world- frequently we’ll hire parts of the sr. mgmt. team in clusters throughout the division’s offices across the continent and ask them to travel between the branches monthly. Their direct reports, if they don’t have people, can typically work out of any major office. I will say that the hiring manager probably has a preference regarding the location- wouldn’t you like to have a key player on your team at your main office?

    6. i hire for roles like this. I work in our office in City A, my boss works the City B office, and most of my team is a mix of remote (no location) and City C. When I hire, positions are often listed as cities A, B, or C. I am probably in offices A and C equally, and spend a decent amount of time in City B. So I really don’t care where the hire is based.

      For other hiring managers in our company, they tend to care more about where the candidate is located if s/he is more “green” and requires more direct supervision. As an example, there is a position open that is technically city A or B (where the hiring manager is in City A). I knew some interested folks and know the hiring manager well…he ended up saying he’d prefer someone in City A if they are going to need extensive mentoring/coaching to dig into the job, whereas if he ended up finding someone more senior/experienced that person could be in City A, City B, or even in another office/remote. So in this example, I told the interested folks that City A was the preferred location but it was negotiable for the right candidate.

      In our company–where we do often have remote folks– we list “remote” as the location.

  8. I wanted to post an update to all of you who advised me on previous threads – after 10 months, I had a positive pregnancy test this morning! No one but my SO knows, so it doesn’t seem real yet…thanks again to all of you who reassured and counseled me through my impatience and frustration! Yay!

    6. Annnd I have my first annoying question — I won’t be seeing my doctor for a couple of weeks yet since they do the first appt at 7 weeks. I’ve been taking folic acid while TTC as my doc recommended but shouldn’t I be switching to a prenatal vitamin before that?

      1. I took prenatals before seeing my doctor. I don’t think it would hurt for you to switch now (as long as all the extra iron, for example, wouldn’t be an issue if you have a known health problem with it). But I think (and I’m not a doctor) that folic acid is one of the more, if not most, important benefits to prenatals, so you may be pretty well covered with your current supplement if you eat a balanced diet. I liked the peace of mind of taking a prenatal for those days when I didn’t get all my servings of fruits, veggies and whole grains (which, unfortunately, is probably most days).

        Not sure how your doctor’s office is, but I got a huge bag of samples at my 8-week visit, including tons of prenatals for which they offered prescriptions. I ended up sticking with my One-a-Days because my doctor said they were just as good as anything else out there. But I get them fairly cheaply (thanks, commissary!); if I had to pay full price, I probably would have switched to a prescription because I think it would have been cheaper under my health plan.

  9. Hive – does anyone know of a good meal delivery service in Charlotte? I’m thinking along the lines of something that’s already prepared and frozen. Thanks!

    1. We’ve used Simply Fresh to You for years. It’s not frozen, but comes in packages that are freeze-able. A lot of my lawyer friends use it. Very good food and less than something unhealthy at a restaurant.

  10. I don’t know where else to talk about this – I had a dream the other night where all of the women in my life (coworkers, friends, former friends, etc) who’ve had babies in the past few years all crossed my path in the same day, and pitied me for still not having any children.

    That dream sucked.

    That’s all.

    4. Ugh. My DH and I aren’t TTC yet, but thinking about it/planning/charting per TCOYF, and I keep having dreams where I’m around a bunch of young kids, and one runs into the road and needs to be saved. Or one toddles into a railroad track, or some other dangerous situation. And I or someone else has to save that kid.

      I think it stems from being on an elevator recently and seeing a toddler waddle into between doors that were closing. It kind of jarred me, I think. (The mom saved the kid on the elevator, it was just scary.)

  11. Any recs for endocrinologists in NYC? Or has anyone else gone off the pill and experienced major weight gain and body hair growth? TIA!

    1. I have – less so major weight gain, more additional trouble losing weight, but definitely the body hair growth and now I am losing hair on my head at a faster rate than I used to. It’s kind of worrying me, but as I’m not TTC, I’ve just decided to go back on the pill.

      Thanks for posting, I thought I was the only one but I am getting really upset about this.

  12. I have a big interview tomorrow and I’m so nervous! This is the first interview for a management-level position and I’m dying for a new job and more responsibility (I’ve been toiling away in a worker-bee type job for years as I chip away at a professional degree). Any tips? Mostly I want to convey mature and responsible.

  13. Total thread jack- my apologies in advance but I really need advice here. I’m currently 35 weeks pregnant and my maternity leave from my associate position with a large law firm starts in 2 weeks. On a whim, a month ago I applied for a dream in-house position. I had a telephone interview last week that went very well and I was just asked to come in on Friday for 1/2 day of interviews with 4 different people in the legal department and HR. I will be 36 weeks/9 months pregnant at that point. My issue is, I did not disclose my pregnancy during the telephone interview- there was no reason to as the anticipated start date is not until the end of December and I’m due in approx. 32 days. Without a doubt I’m willing to cut my planned 12-week (unpaid) maternity leave short to start this job. When I say dream, I mean DREAM job. So, how do I address my pregnancy and make it clear (without belaboring it) that there is no question I plan to continue working (not that I would say this but financially it is not an option to cease working) and that I’ll be ready to go when they need me? FWIW, I’ve had zero complications this pregnancy (no morning sickness, no missed work, I’ve continued to bill around 200 hour months without pause, etc.) and since I’m tall with an athletic build, I probably only look about 4 months pregnant right now. Ugh, I’m so conflicted as to what to do/say!

    1. Would you really be interviewing for a job that starts in December if you had no intention of taking it? Start dates are usually pretty flexible so you may not need to cut your leave that short. I think it will be fine.

    2. “without belaboring it…” pun? lol.

      My guess is that at least one of your interviewers will make a “congratulations”-esque comment, at which point you can say something to address the facts, like, “Yes, thank you! He/she will be arriving in a few weeks, so I’m thrilled the timing works out for this position.” or something like that, to make it clear the baby situation is irrelevant. Although it really isn’t any of their business.

      1. I interviewed for a job at 8 or 9 mo pregnant. I was clearly pregnant and it was the elephant in the room. I wouldn’t wait for them to comment. You could verify the start date and say something like snowy suggested about the timing working perfectly.

    3. My first thought, since you say you only look about 4 months along, is to hide the pregnancy as best you can. Wear a blouse-y top and an unbuttoned, longer blazer. They don’t know what you used to look like, so they will just think that this is your normal body shape if the pregnancy isn’t totally obvious. Your pregnancy should be a total non-issue, but not having it come up might be the best way to go about this. You can always tell them later, after you get an offer, that “Oh by the way, I’m due to delivery next week, but I’ll be up and running by my scheduled start date.” If it does come up/you can’t really hide it, phrase it in a similar way. Just tell them its a non-issue and you look forward to working for them for reasons XYZ.

    4. I should probably try and help since I work in house, used to work in BigLaw, and have two kids. I was going to say that you should tell the HR rep in advance, solely because you don’t want to be the weird woman who just forgot to mention that she’s 9 months pregnant, then shows up big as a house. BUT . . . since you said you’re hardly showing, I would not do that. Just show up and roll with it. If you are that small, I don’t think anyone is going to say anything unless they’re nuts in which case you don’t want to work there. If there is a natural opening, maybe when you talk about start dates and your current job, then explain that regardless you plan to return to work in late December. Although I will say if you don’t get the job, take as much maternity leave as you can swing, but that’s just my two cents– not because being home with a newborn is the best thing ever, but because it’s good to have time to pull yourself together without worrying about work. But dream in house job is a whole ‘nother story. I’m doing it and I will tell you it is. so. worth. it.

    5. Also job-hunting and pregnant, and my view is that no one who plans to quit and stay home with the baby is actively looking for a new job. I’m not sure how to phrase that to an interviewer (hasn’t come up yet) but seems pretty straight forward to me. Also, if you do need to discuss the topic, I think it’s totally fine to say “it’s not financially feasible for me to stay home” or, if it’s true, “I’m the primary breadwinner in the family.” It should set the employer’s mind at ease.

      1. I would agree that at my company, we would assume any candidate who comes to the interview is planning on working, and not quitting to stay home. But . . . we would probably start doing the math about when she could start (i.e., after taking some leave, but probably not an extra long one).

    6. Thanks for all the comments! I think I’ll first see how well I can hide it (however, how I sit sometimes tends to give it away) but if there is even a guess that someone can tell, I will come up with a way to address it along the lines of Snowy’s and other’s suggestion- that yes I’m due very soon but the timing/anticipated start date works out great and is when I intended on returning to work, etc. I know they won’t bring it up for discrimination/liability reasons, but I feel like if there is a chance I look pregnant that I have to say something. I don’t want them to incorrectly assume that I’m not as far along as I am and that if they hire me, I might soon require time off to deliver.

  14. TJ: interview wear.

    I only own one suit, because I work in a very casual office. I own several suit separates, but only one matching suit.

    I had a first round interview a week and a half ago, and now they want me to come back on site for second rounds. Should I just wear the same suit? Do I have to buy another? Could I do suit separates?

    I think the answer is I just wear the same suit, and style it differently, but I feel lame. :/ Maybe if I get this dream job (with a 12 minute commute!!) I will have all the time and all the money and can go on a shopping spree to look fabulous always.

    2. I think the fairly common answer to this question is what you describe. Just style it differently. Different color/style top. Different jewelry. Different shoes. Honestly, unless you styled it in a unique and/or quirky way the first time (which I doubt) there is little chance that they will remember. To steal from mamabear, people are so tied up with their own stuff, they probably won’t even notice things about you that seem so obvious to you.

    3. wear the same suit, unless it’s super-recognizable (strange color/pattern/trim/etc.). You’ll probably be meeting with completely different people and even if not they won’t remember what you wore two weeks ago. I understand feeling lame but no one else will think you’re lame.

      2. +1 As long as we’re not talking about a bright red or bold striped suit, style it differently and don’t worry about it one moment. Grab a blouse in a distinguishable color from the last you wore, tie a scarf to your bag and change up your shoes.

        First rounds of interviews are often a blur and you may have completely different interviewers this round. Especially if this is a casual office, you will likely very rarely wear a suit at your new job ;) (Fingers crossed!)

  15. More pregnancy TJ (sorry, everyone who doesn’t care about this!)

    Is it normal for partners (specifically, male partners) to feel nervous about LGP’s during pregnancy? Professor Bhaer swears he still finds me attractive, but the lack of actual follow through is making me really sad. When I brought it up, nervousness was the reason he gave.

    I mostly feel OK when I look in the mirror, but the fact that the Professor seems less interested than he has ever been makes it hard to keep feeling that way. This morning I tried to initiate an LGP in a way that would normally work, and it didn’t work, and then I cried and cried because I’m *never* going to look like I did when we firs tgot together, and he got kind of frustrated because he kept *saying* he still found me attractive, but that sure didn’t make me feel better. When we talked about it last night (pre-crying, lol), I assured him he wasn’t going to hurt me, but now we seem to be at an impasse. :(

    Advice? Commiseration?

    1. Also, sorry if TMI. But I am feeling real crappy about myself and don’t really know how to talk about this to anyone that knows us IRL.

      1. I don’t have any suggestions, but I can totally commiserate. And I have a story that seems funny now even though it was anything but at the time:

        I was about 8 months pregnant and crying in front of the mirror because I thought I was so big and ugly! “I’m so big and ugly!” I wailed. And my poor then-husband couldn’t think of anything more helpful to say than, “Don’t worry, it’s just because you’re pregnant!” :p

    2. Totally normal. Totally, totally normal. Has he read The Expectant Father? Great book. I believe there’s a chapter about getting over the mental impasse of feeling like they are going to hurt you or the baby. Written for men by men, so it seems to really do the trick.

      I’m sorry. It’s hard enough to go through all the physical changes; worrying about your partner’s perceptions add a natural but challenging layer.

    3. Sorry to hear you are going through this but I understand it’s actually pretty common. In fact, my SO has had less interest as well.

      I think the thing to remember is that this is not just a big change for you, but a big change for the Professor as well. He may not be going through the physical changes you are, but becoming a dad is a massive psychological change. I’ve also heard that sometimes men’s hormonal balance changes during their partner’s pregnancy, but I don’t know the details. I was pretty upset about the reduction in LGPs at first as well (well, after I stopped feeling so ill in my first trimester, anyway), but I think it’s important to keep all these factors in mind. Just continue to be affectionate in other ways and it will happen when it is meant to happen.

    4. YES! Mr. TBK is afraid of “poking the babies in the head.” (Even though the midwife promised that was 100% impossible.) And he’s afraid to even hug me other than just a top torso arm hug because he thinks he’ll squish them. Also, he feels like it’s weird because “there are children in the room.” (Um, children who can’t hear yet, or see anything, or really feel much.) But, yeah, totally normal. In fact, the fathers’ sections of my pregnancy books all include discussions of guys being worried that they’ll poke the baby in the head. My husband says that while I may totally get where the babies are and what’s okay for them, it’s because they’re in my body and he doesn’t have the same spatial awareness of them. I would NOT take it personally, or like a judgment of your attractiveness. My bet is he’s just afraid of poking the baby in the head, or something like that.

    5. I’m really sorry you feel this way. Without knowing anything about you or your partner, I’d think it’s pretty unlikely that he is suddenly turned off by you. It probably really is nervousness – not just about hurting you or the baby but also about all the changes that are going to happen.

      Most people don’t look like they looked when they first got together, including the male halves of partnerships. Chances are your partner is a little more bald/paunchy/hairy/stinky than he was when you first met and I’m sure you love him no less. Give him the same credit!

      And while you may never get your pre-preg body back, you also won’t look like this forever. And who knows, you might be dedicated enough to get back into your old shape. There are plenty of great-looking moms out there.

    6. COMMISERATION. and hugs to you. I have nothing helpful to say though, but I do hope this passes, and I cry regularly about how different my body will be post-baby.

  16. Waaaaay off-topic TJ – I’m shopping for new carpet for the first time. Anyone have tips? Big box store vs carpet store? Things to watch out for?

    1. Shop around and get quotes in writing for carpet and installation! If you are on a timeline, make sure to ask the Big Box Store what their lead time is. For my last project in May, I almost used a certain big box store that was 15% below all other quotes….but they couldn’t install until August.

  17. The question above about meal delivery service made me think — is it possible to register for a meal delivery service for a baby shower? I’m starting to get prodded to make a registry and it seems like not having to worry about dinner for awhile after the babies arrive would be amazing. Has anyone done this? If so, can anyone recommend a service in the DC area? Mr. TBK tries to follow a paleo diet so would love a service with that option.

    1. I’ve participated in a meal train (where people sign up to bring you a meal on a certain day) and it’s a fun chance to drop off food and also meet the baby. But delivery service sounds great (especially for when you’re not ready to face people).

  18. Can someone advise one if/how often air duct cleaning is necessary? We purchased our house 3 years ago, and my husband is convinced we need to get the air ducts cleaned. Is this something that should be done routinely? If not, then when? I told him I wasn’t sure it’s necessary but get some quotes and we can decide. So he got a quote for <$100 and I said that's cheaper than I thought, fine go ahead. Then later to said that company no longer services our area and the next best quote was several hundred dollars so I don't want to do this unless it's really necessary/beneficial.

    1. Experts disagree whether air duct cleaning is ever necessary. Replacing your air filters regularly is more important. If you do decide to get them cleaned, there are frequently offers on groupon and other discount sites. I think we paid $70 for ours.

      1. Thanks, I checked and there happens to be a groupon special in my area!
        So cleaning and filter replacing are two separate things? I’ll try to ask them if they can also replace the filter in addition to clean.

        1. Replacing a filter is easy and takes about 10 seconds. Air filters are sold by size at Home Depot, target, etc. Air duct cleaning essentially involves attaching an industrial vacuum to the duct and sucking out dust.

          2. And you should be changing your air filter on a regular basis. Every 3 – 6 months.

          3. I’ve seen recommended as often as every month in some circumstances, e.g., shedding pets in the home, if any residents are smokers, or if you have strong allergies that make you more sensitive.

  19. Late Threadjack: the Jones New York website is having a suit sale (jacket and pants or jacket and skirt) today only-through 11:59pm for $99. Not all suits included, but there are some decent ones for folks who need a basic staple and don’t want to pay alot!

    1. Thanks Bewitched. JNY is still my favorite Navy suit. I might just add another to my collection.

      *PSA – The ponte blazer in Palm Green is VERY bright. Adorable, but very bright.

  20. Many woman here have talked about having an executive coach. Any recommendations in the midwest? Needed rather urgently — boss will pay but I have to find someone pronto. TIA!

  21. Ladies, I just received a sneak peak email from The Limited because I’m a cardholder. It looks like they have a sweater similar to the splurge one posted yesterday. It’s not available in the stores yet so I can’t post a pic.

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