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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 236 Comments · by

Wednesday’s TPS Report: Micro-Tweed Jacket

The Personal Shopper (TPS)· Under $150 |

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. J.Crew Micro-tweed JacketI’m intrigued by this jacket, both because of the fact that it has a two-way zip, as well as the “soft cotton-blend micro-tweed that [J.Crew] developed to be incredibly lightweight with a hint of flattering stretch.” Although it’s also available in a more sedate navy, I love the “poppy navy lavender” color — I’d wear it with a bright color tee beneath (cobalt, perhaps, or possibly even a dark green) and black or dark gray trousers. It’s $148 at J.Crew. Micro-tweed jacket in poppy Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-3)  

Workwear sales of note for 10.2.23:

  • Nordstrom – 28,000 markdowns, and big beauty sale!
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off all sale styles
  • Athleta – 25% off for members, 20% off core
  • Banana Republic – Up to 40% off sale styles
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off purchase
  • Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off women’s clearance (ends Monday 10/2) – some great basics on wool suits for women
  • The Fold – Mid-season sale, up to 40% off!
  • J.Crew – Extra 60% off select sale styles, 30% off fall styles, and 30% off men’s and boys’ suiting
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 50% off everything
  • M.M.LaFleur – Sale on sale, extra 10% off
  • Reiss – Mid-season sale, up to 50% off
  • Talbots – 25% off your entire purchase
  • Theory – Friends + Family sale, 25% off sitewide
  • Zappos – 18,500+ markdowns for women!

Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. moss

    Like the jacket, hate the styling. A denim shirt buttoned all the way up with crew-collared jacket? No, dear.

      • moss

        I just don’t like the pointy collar against the rounded curve of the jacket. I can’t imagine it would stay neatly aligned.

      • IA_Eng

        Yeah, that half tucked thing gets old – think of some different styling techniques, J. Crew!

        And although I haven’t been a J.Crew fan for a while, this jacket is pretty cute – the two-way zipper keeps it from looking too “ladies who lunch”.

  2. KC

    I’m intrigued by the two way zip. Do people really zip just the top half? It looks nice as styled statically, but I’m having trouble picturing it on a moving person.

    • Sutemi

      I zip just the middle of fleece vests, I think it defines my shape better sometimes.

  3. Ellen

    Another Rosa look alike, but without the child in uterro! Yay! Why can’t I look like her (tho Frank said my tuchus looks good). I think b/c I froze it off walking to work! FOOEY!

    Dad confessed that he had HENRY call me. Henry supposedly work’s on Wall Street doing algorithm’s…..dad knows what that is and I don’t. Dad says I should meet him b/c Henry’s dad says he has never had a girlfreind, so I can’t get an STD from him! Yay! Already dad is pusheing him into bed with me? FOOEY! He had dirty hair and teeth as I remember. Dad says he would be stabel like his dad, who works for the town.

    We’ll I told dado would call him. It’s not like I have any other prospects and I do want to go out with a guy.

    I have a calendar call so I am off to court! The life of a BIGTIME litiegeator is alway’s exciting. Yay!!!!!

      • Law Diva

        Frank works in Ellen’s law office as an accountant, and Henry is some guy from high school that Ellen’s father wants her to date and marry so that he can stop having to take care of her and move to North Carolina and take a professorship at Duke University. And Gonzalo is a miniature version of Antonio Banderas who looks like a horse jockey and who works in a restaurant that Ellen went to over the holidays. Gonzalo grabbed at Ellen’s breast when she met him in Central Park to see if it was real.

  4. Anonny

    Sorry to threadjack right away but I need some relationship advice. My long-distance boyfriend and I have been through a rocky patch lately, partly because the path to us living in the same city has recently become much more complicated and unlikely to happen within the next 6-8 months.

    He has a lot going on in his life and I think he’s going all “chicken little on me” – I think he’s freaking out because of the way his work and family stuff is going but he keeps telling me that even though he wants a future with me, he doesn’t see how it’s going to work through the next few months of long distance.

    I honestly believe that he does want to be with me but he’s just having some trouble with the distance now. Any ideas on how can I support him through his “chicken little” phase and make things easier on him?

    • Adele

      I really don’t mean for this to sound harsh, but imho “wants to be with me but is having trouble with distance” does not equal “wants to actually be with me.” It sounds like he’s using distance as a nice way of breaking it off without hurting your feelings. “It’s not you, it’s distance.”

      Eight months isn’t such a long time if one wants to stick it out to make it work. I would say to him that if he can’t commit, you’re moving on. If he wants to really be with you, he’ll commit. If he doesn’t, well, you may as well find out sooner.

    • LaLaLa

      How long have you dated your boyfriend?

      How much of the time you’ve been together has been long-distance?
      How old are you and do you want children one day?
      How old is your boyfriend?

      Is your boyfriend conflict-avoidant? And does he have a hard time getting his crap together?

      Those last two questions are very important in trying to determine what he really means.
      If he is conflict-avoidant, then “he doesn’t see how it’s going to work through the next few months of long distance” is his cowardly way of saying, “I want to dump you but want to blame it on family/work other issues because I’m not man enough to just break it off with you.”

      If he has a hard time getting his crap together, then maybe it’s actually true that he can’t hack the long distance. This can also apply if you’ve been long-distance a short time and he’s realizing that LDRs are not for him. That’s also a possibility, but it’s hard to tell without more info. If that’s really true — do you want a man who wants to check out of your relationship every time work blows up? This may not be the reason (it could be that he just wants to break it off with you, so see “coward” part above), but it’d suck to be with someone so immature and unable to handle the stresses of grownup life.

      But you sound like you have invested a lot in this relationship and therefore can see what you want to see, rather than what might be the ugly truth. Generally, when people tell you something, believe them. He doesn’t want to keep seeing you in this LDR, or, possibly in any circumstance. Why matters less than the WHAT in this case.

      I ask you how old you are and about children because if you’re say, 30 and wants kids, drop him now, because he’ll just waste your time. The same actually applies even if you are younger.

    • cc

      Agree with LaLa’s point that when people tell you who they are believe them. It sounds like he doesn’t want to be with you. If he does, regardless, there is not much you can do to help him through “chicken little phase” and honestly, I think trying to (which is essentially, how do I convince him to keep dating me long distance” can be very damaging and exhausting emotionally.

    • MaggieLizer

      Does he tend to catastrophize road blocks in his life? He’s not this way just about your relationship, but about life in general? It sounds like he needs to develop better coping skills. You can be supportive but this is something he has to do for himself. Therapy can really help him with this. I agree with cc, though, that being in your position sounds really exhausting, so please take care of yourself.

    • lawsuited

      Long distance is hard, and it sounds like he is also going through difficulty with work and family. Work, family and time apart are the kinds of usual, everyday problems you and he will have to deal with together in the future you see together.

      It’s important to show each other love, support and comfort during difficulty, but I’m not sure you want a lifetime of saving him because the sky is falling. Speaking from my experience, it will get tiring, so think carefully about that dynamic. He is responsible for saving himself, his work, his family and his relationship with you if he’s interested in doing so.

      The bottom line is that some people aren’t able to adapt to long distance because of how they communicate, express and experience love, etc. Iif he can’t do long distance and your relationship with him has to be long distance, then he can’t have a relationship with you at the moment. So, JSFAMO.

    • Lurking

      I’ll just add that I’m in a LDR, and both of us have had “chicken little” moments. LDR is really, really hard, and what’s worked for us is just focusing on the next time we can see one another (typically visit every two months). We also try really hard to separate distance stress from other relationship / life stressors. Good luck!

    • Susan

      After dating a contractor for a while, and not knowing where it was going, I told him that I wanted to get an apartment with him. He did NOT want to commit. He found a way to work from home and travels about once every two years for a few months. We have now been married for 13 years.

  5. AIMS

    I’m not sure I’d style it the way Kat suggests (or the way JCrew does it), but I think this could look cute with navy pants and a white top.

  6. Anon

    Morning all,

    Does anyone have a favorite yoga pant? I’ve heard that the quality of Lululemon has generally gone downhill, so I’m looking for other options…

    • LilyB

      to piggyback on this, what about a favorite running pant (either cropped or full-length)

      • Veronica

        I proudly wear my $20 old navy fold over yoga capris (the tight fitting ones) for both yoga and running. They’re super comfy and the outer side seams are a little closer to the front, making me feel/look skinnier. They also seem to have held up very well for me.

      • Famouscait

        I like a C9 running capri at Target. They’re not available online (so no link) but I’ve got two pairs and I luvs ’em. Nice and snug in the legs but not tight in the waist (so no love handles). Basic black stays in stock, and then they’ll add other colors/designs. They’re all spandex (no cotton) and $24.99 a pair.

        • LJ

          I have several pairs of Target’s C9 by Champion tights/pants. A pair of running tights with zip ankles, a no zipper cold weather pair, and a pair of lighterweight workout pants. The ankle zip tights are my favorites but they’ve all been great. Inexpensive too. They were online at one point but now I can’t find the link.

    • mascot

      I have some from Gap that I like (haven’t used them for much yoga, just generally working out). Only complaints, I’m 5’2″ amd find the ankle length be just slightly too long and the black pants fade a bit. I asked a similar question a few weeks ago and people suggested Costco’s private label and Zella from Nordstrom, in addition to Gap’s stuff.

    • qwerty

      i love the under armour studiolux line. much more substantial than lululemon pants, but unfortunately just as pricey.

    • J

      To piggyback again, anyone have great pants for Zumba? I think that I’m wearing the right size stretchy pants from Target/Old Navy but (and I know this sounds silly) as I jump around and dance, they always start to roll down which is not cute. I’m a size 14/16 with a tummy so Lululemon is out. Thanks!

      • moss

        same size here. I make sure to wear a long shirt to zumba. I also can fit into a size M walmart/danskin bootcut so I wear those.

      • NDR

        I wear them to Pilates, not Zumba, but I like the C9 by Champion Women’s Shapewear Pant from Target. I doubt the shapewear componenet is actually shaping me, but it does help keep my pants up and in place.

    • MB

      I like the Zella yoga pants, but they are quite thick. I tend to sweat when practicing yoga, so the thickness is not ideal. They’re great for wearing around town, though. I also have recently discovered Lucy, and while I have never tried their yoga pants, they two tops I have are fantastic. Check Sierra Trading Post for discounted Lucy items.

      • a passion for fashion

        Zella and Lucy are by far my fav! And the Zella t-shirts are great — they are thin and breathable, but thick enough not to be see through and they have all this ruching in the front and make me feel great

    • darby

      I’m a huge lululemon fan & haven’t noticed any change in their quality. The pants seem exactly the same to me today as they were when I first got a pair years ago now.

      • Vinyasa

        Ditto. My pants from 3 years ago are holding up great and are very comparable to pants I’ve bought within the last year.

        To the OP: I also have a pair of really great leggings from Lucy.

    • KM

      Costco has some great yoga pants right now. They have a nice thickness and a good fit.

      • n.

        That’s where I buy mine — less than twenty bucks, and they hold up surprisingly well over time given the low price.

      • CostoYogaPants

        The Costco yoga pants, shirts, jackets are reportedly made at the Lululemon factory with the same cuts, but slightly different, but still very good, materials. I have some and they are great! The pants are available online.

    • wintergreen126

      I have the Kriya yoga pant from Sweaty Betty. They’re not wicked fancy or anything, but they’re comfortable, stretchy, and seem to hold up pretty well.

  7. goldribbons

    What are your favorite leave-in hair products that protect your hair from heat damage from blow drying daily? My split ends are insane and I can’t do a haircut every 6 weeks (but if that’s the trick, let me know!). Thanks!

    • MB

      I am interested in this answer, too. My split ends from heat styling are out of control. I try to cut every 12 weeks instead of 6 because I like the longer length, but if I try to push it past 12 to 18, my hair is an absolute nightmare (I know because I can barely stand the sight/feel of it right now).

    • MaggieLizer

      I’m not sure about leave-in products, but my split ends are SO.MUCH.BETTER. since I started using a sulfate-free shampoo. It’s become something of a (happy) problem because I used to guage when I need a hair cut by how bad my split ends were, and now I have to actually pay attention to the calendar.

      • anonypotamus

        To piggyback off this, what sulfate free shampoo do you use? I am going through all my beauty products trying to eliminate most of the bad stuff (seems like a never ending battle though!) but hadn’t made it to shampoo/conditioner yet.

        • n.

          I like the LOreal sulfate free line, which is reasonably cheap compared to a lot of other sulfate free options.

        • MaggieLizer

          I use the one from Trader Joe’s. I forget exactly how much it is, but I think it’s about $3-4/bottle.

    • V

      Is your hair otherwise processed or chemically treated? I have found that for hairdryers, it’s not the heat (if you’re keeping a safe distance from the hair) but tugging, etc. to the hair when it is wet. So, gentle on the hair. If you style with curling irons or flatirons, I think that that is super-damaging and that it will be hard to fix that. Otherwise, condition, condition, condition (hair masks, the various oil products, etc.).

      Hair dresser on fire is a great hair blog.

    • s in Chicago

      I bounce around with different products and haven’t seen much difference. What I did notice though is a big change after treating my hair better from the start. If you haven’t done so already, invest in a decent hair dryer. I’m generally pretty frugal with that sort of thing, but I splurged and got a T3. The frizziness has reduced substantially, and I think breakage is a lot less, too. I also use a wide-tooth comb when my hair is still wet and never a brush (towel drying first to minimize the amount of time I have to be exposing my hair to heat, too). If you start with healthier hair, the need for products is usually a lot less.

      • Godzilla

        I don’t know if this is complete malarkey or not but I never use a brush on my wet hair, ever. I have a wide tooth comb specifically for combing my hair when it’s wet. I remember hearing/reading somewhere that your hair is more fragile/elastic when it’s wet so you can damage the hair cuticle if you’re too rough with it. Also, I use an old t-shirt to gather my hair when it’s wet, not regular towels.

        • goldribbons

          This is so interesting! Guess I should invest in a wide toothed comb! Thanks so much ladies

        • TBK

          How do you do a blow out with that, though? I have fine, curly hair so it requires daily washing (no, there’s no “training” this hair to not need washing — it looks oily about 18 hrs after being washed) and daily drying (it looks terrible curly — very drowned rat-esque). I’m not sure how I could ever get my hair straight without using a paddle brush and large round brush on it.

          • PollyD

            I think the idea is to comb out the wet/gently towel-dried hair with a wide-tooth comb. Then blow-dry most of the way dry just using your hands to move the hair around. Then you bring out the brushes to do the straightening. Brushes are hard on wet hair.

            I like the L’Oreal conditioner/treatment stuff that comes in a pot. I have straight-ish, very fine but lots of it hair and have found that using this stuff daily (as if it were regular conditioner) helped cut down on breakage and frizz.

          • anon

            former hairdresser here:

            You obviously have to use a round and/or paddle brush on hair for a blowout, but you should NEVER do that until the hair is about 40-50% dry.

            Wide tooth comb
            then blow dry section to about half dry.
            THEN use paddle or round brush.

            Hope that helps!
            (also, Thermafuse dry oil serum is great for helping with smoothness in heat styling)

          • Godzilla

            My hair air-dries pretty quickly, so I sometimes put it up in hot rollers. It smooths out my hair and the curl drops pretty quickly. It’s not super straight but it looks very polished and blown-out. My hair doesn’t feel damaged at all using hot rollers.

        • n.

          The “don’t brush while wet” thing is (I believe) because your hair has less tensile strength when wet — so the pulling that happens when you brush is more likely to break the hair when it’s wet. The drier the hair, the greater the tensile strength, so brushing it when it’s half dry is not as much of a problem as brushing it straight out of the shower.

    • D

      I really like It’s a 10 lite formula. My thin, fine hair still has volume but much less damage. Once every 2 weeks I also deep condition but for every day It’s a 10 lite for sure…

    • roses

      I second that it has a lot to do with your hair routine vs. particular products. I’ve flat-ironed my hair for the past 8 years or so and my hair is in pretty decent shape. If you’re constantly heat-styling, don’t get other damaging chemical treatments if you can help it. Try not to wash every day; if you must because of exercise or dirty jobs or whatnot, just condition rather than shampoo, and limit heat styling to either blow-dry or flat/curling iron, not both.

      I think those are the major things, but using sulfate-free and moisturizing products (moroccan oil is my fave) helps too.

    • lawsuited

      I heat style my hair 4/5 days and my split ends are horrendous. I bought a Schwartzkopf serum from my salon to apply before using the straightening or curling iron, but haven’t noticed any improvement.

      The only thing that works for me is frequent trims, so I’ve found salon between home/work so I can go more frequently. Sorry!

    • East Coaster

      Sulfate free shampoo, natural conditioner (I’ve been using Jason from whole foods), tre semme heat protectant spray have all made a difference for me. And trims / cuts every 8 weeks.

    • mascot

      I don’t have many split ends and I blow dry daily. I use one of those micro-fiber hair towels to get out as much water as possible before drying, comb my wet hair (no brush), and use the L’Oreal EverStrong deep conditioner once a week. I don’t color my hair.

    • NOLA

      I use Rusk Thick spray but that’s mainly to keep my hair from being so light and flyaway. I use Brocato Cloud 9 Miracle Repair Style Creme on the front of my hair to protect it from heat.

    • Laura B

      I just started this, so I can’t say whether it works or not, but I’m excited about it – organic coconut oil. I’m conditioning with it (apply oil all over, sleep with it in, and wash it out with regular shampoo in morning) a couple times a week until my hair gets healthier, and then planning on using it once a week afterwards. I’ve done exactly one of the deep conditioning so far (last weekend), and I think maybe it helped. It’s such a hard time of year to tell, since I tend to where my hair up quite a bit in the winter just to deal with the frizz/hats/static. I did use a tiny amount of it this morning because I’m running out of my Kenra Platinum Silkening Gloss (which I also love) and I’m pretty happy with it so far.

    • Olivia Pope

      Got2be guardian angel is my favorite heat protectant spray. To repet what others said, my hair looks much better since I switched to sulfate- paraben-free shampoo and conditioner. I also detangle my hair with a wide toothed comb.

    • Anonimous

      I really like bonacure repair rescue sealed ends. I use it every few weeks, though I should use it once a week or so. It makes the split ends go away. A little goes a long way. I have had many people ask what it is. I also use arctec hot styling cream in my hair after it is 90% dry before finishing and flat ironing. I get questions about that one too. It is great when the humidity is bad but I don’t use it in the winter.

  8. darjeeling

    love this! and the bracelet length sleeves look like they might actually fit my short arms. Might take a stroll by the store to try this on and will report back.

    • mamabear

      I don’t get bracelet sleeves. I like 3/4 sleeves and full length sleeves, but I feel like this slightly too short bracelet length would just look like I couldn’t get a jacket that fit.

      Maybe I’m more sensitive to it because I’m tall and that has been the situation fo realz more than once.

      • darjeeling

        yeah I don’t really get them either, but when clothes are aiming for bracelet sleeves they often just look like regular long sleeves on me (which is indeed the case with the featured jacket, which I just went and bought- thanks Kat!), whereas long sleeves or 3/4 sleeves on non-petite clothes hit me all wrong.

  9. Equity's Darling

    This is totally a first world problem, but I have a question- How much does everyone pay for gym/gym related activities every month?

    I currently have an unlimited hot yoga membership for about $100 a month, and I’m thinking of adding in a regular gym membership, for somewhere between $60 and $100, and though I can afford it, it seems unnecessary/extravagant to be spending that much on gym activities.

    I usually go to yoga 4-6 times a week, and if I added in the gym, I’d go to each somewhere between 2-3 times a week, making them both more expensive per use than if I just had one….but I don’t want to give up yoga, and I do want to start going to the gym for a variety of reasons. Add in that during the summer I try to run in the morning 3 times a week, and I think I’m sort of setting myself up to feel guilty for not using my memberships once the weather gets a little better.

    • Cornellian

      I pay $60 for a gym membership, and that’s it. A pair of running shoes every 400 miles. I’ve toyed with adding in yoga, but I sometimes go weeks at a time without making it to the gym, so decided I did not need an additional fixed cost. Maybe you can keep the gym membership for the next few months, then turn back to running in the summer? That is, if they have a flexible month-to-month set up.

    • De

      I pay 10 dollars a month. I tried some other gyms in my area, and hands down, this is the best so far (and cleanest, who knew.) Includes all the usual machines, treadmills, etc. I go to Zumba twice a week, Yoga 2 or 3 times a week, and some shorter cardio or weight classes as well. I’m still shocked at the value for only ten bucks.

    • LilyB

      are you open to dropping hot yoga and just doing regular yoga? Most gyms offer at least 1-2 yoga classes per day.

      I pay $100/month for my gym membership, which is probably too extravagant on my income, but I go to the gym at least 5x/week so it’s worth it to me.

      • Equity's Darling

        I have a strong preference for hot yoga…I don’t think I’d be willing to do regular yoga and the gyms I’m thinking of don’t offer yoga.

        • Godzilla

          Does your hot yoga gym sell bundles of classes instead of time-based monthly subscriptions? It saves money (although the cost/class is higher) and you get your gym + your hot yoga.

          • Equity's Darling

            Yes…that may be a half-solution. Unlimited is cheapest if you’re going around 12 times a month, but if I change around my schedule so I only go twice a week or so, then it will be cheaper if I buy a bundle of classes every couple months…

      • Emmabean

        I find that the quality of yoga instruction at my gym is far below what I get at my yoga studio.

        And to answer your question – I pay $27/month for my gym membership (and recently, far more than that to my personal trainer – but that isn’t a fixed expense, I just wanted a couple of months of sessions with her to learn how to use the weight room at the gym). I also pay $10/class at my yoga studio (it is donation based, and $10-15 suggested donation). I usually go to yoga once a week.

        I also pay $8/month to the same yoga studio for access to their online classes. I think all that equals about $80/month.

    • springtime

      My gym has hot yoga classes so maybe you should look into a gym with that option to cut your costs.

      • Equity's Darling

        There are no gyms in the area that I’m looking at that offer regular yoga, let alone hot yoga. There’s basically a choice of two, maybe three, based on how close they are to work/home. I don’t drive, so … it’s pretty important that my gym be very accessible, otherwise I will never go.

    • momentsofabsurdity

      I pay ~$98 per month for my gym membership (ouch. ouch, ouch, ouch.) I also often forget my water bottle so I probably end up spending an additional ~$20ish per month. I’m currently taking a 6 week class that’s running me an additional $110.

      Is it worth it? For me, right now, at this point in my life, yes. My romantic life is in shambles, my job is enjoyable, but isn’t giving me a whole lot right now, I generally feel like I’m in a holding pattern, and physical fitness is the one area in my life where I feel like my hard work is truly yielding results. So devoting resources to it makes sense.

      That said, I see your point that you may be setting yourself up for memberships you aren’t using. To that end – is there a noncontract membership for your gym? Even if it’s a bit more? That might give you the flexibility (ha) you want to drop it in the summer and pick it back up in again when it gets cold.

      • Equity's Darling

        I feel like I’m in a pretty similar situation to you MOA (except I’m currently pretty happy with my job…but really, yoga/gym is my “hobby”…well, that and my nailpolish) I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress with yoga in the last 8 months, which is why I’m so hesitant to give it up, but I think the gym will yield different results that I’m also sort of looking for.

        Maybe I’ll try doing both? Like gym class at lunch, then yoga after work? Even if I only pull that off once or twice a week, and once on the weekend…and then on other days do only yoga? Hmmm…

        I’ll check into a noncontract membership, that’s probably a good idea- then I can at least try it until the summer and see how I’m doing. The other thing is that if I have a membership near work, I could run at lunch in the summer and shower?

      • January

        I belong to a fancypants $89/month gym that is closer to my parents’ house than to my apartment and my office. I can really only make it there on weekends consistently, but I love it, so I don’t want to give it up. I also love working out regularly (for a lot of the same reasons as MOA), so I found a no-contract gym near my apartment that is clean, nice, and meets my standards. I can afford this pretty easily, even though it feels ridiculous to be paying over $100/month to exercise.

    • LLBMBA

      I’ve struggled with this too. What I’d really like is a gym I can go to at lunch, which would mean something very close to work. These gyms are very expensive, and I already belong to another club (more than hyst a gym, but has a gym component). Paying for both seems indulgent, so I haven’t done it, but at the same time, if you can afford it, I don’t see the problem. You probably spend more than that on clothes, and going to the gym is better for you!

    • Blonde Lawyer

      $19.99/month w/ an occasional $8-$10/class meditation session at a yoga studio. Not really a work out but falls into the self-care category. I think my gym membership also has a $30 or $40 annual fee.

      I’ve considered joining a different more expensive gym that all the lawyers around here network at. I decided I don’t want to network while working out and don’t want older male lawyers seeing me in gym clothes regardless of how conservative. Also, my regular gym clothes include tight yoga pant style capri’s and a sweat-wicking tank. I’d rather the legal community just see me in suits or golf wear.

      Does anyone here workout somewhere they have to network too? I just can’t wrap my head around the whole “hey, I was talking to Joe in the steam room and he is going to be sending us this case . . .” Happens all the time around here. Luckily, my boss is cool with me sticking to my own gym and completely understands why.

      • Godzilla

        This is why I refuse to join the gym in my office complex even though it would make getting to my workouts SO MUCH EASIER. No, I don’t need my coworkers seeing me struggle with weights, thankyouverymuchrawr.

      • long time lurker

        Yes. I used to go to a gym near my office until I saw work people there. I need boundaries. I now go to a no frills gym near my apartment for $750/year.

      • lucy stone

        There are only two gyms in the city where I work, so it’s unavoidable. We’re a small and laid back bar, but I still hate wearing a old sorority date party tee to the gym and then ending up in a conversation with a judge.

      • hoola hoopa

        I used to. I really liked the gym and it was so convenient, but I hated running in to colleagues in the locker room or having to make small talk in the pool area while hoping (praying!!) that my bikini area was clear. While I think everyone considered it ‘off time’ and never drew connections between my professional life and gym life, I also never once had a moment where I thought my career or work benefited from it.

    • phillygirlruns

      i pay $175/mo for crossfit. was very hesitant about joining due to the cost and delayed it forever, but it’s well worth it.

      • Anon

        About Cross Fit – I’m working on getting to a healthier weight, but still have a ways to go (think 75 lbs, which in BMI terms put me squarely in the obese category). Would Cross Fit be an option for someone like me? I keep hearing about it, but I’m not sure if its one of those things where I have to get in shape / do other cardio before I can even join cross fit.

        • Monica

          Don’t hesistate to try a class. I have been doing Crossfit for almost 3 years now, and I can’t say enough about it. I, too, was about 75 lbs overweight when I started, but most of the movements can (and should!) be modified to accommodate your fitness and abilities. Most gyms offer a free trial class to potential clients.

        • phillygirlruns

          absolutely. a high-quality affiliate (and not all of them are – definitely do your research first!) will work with you to scale and modify things appropriately. at my gym we have a massive, massive range of members in terms of athletic ability, skill level, fitness, etc., and knowledgeable coaches/friendly members/great community.

        • cbackson

          My CrossFit gym was super receptive to people of all sizes/athletic ability. The first day I went, there was a trainer working with a woman who was (objectively and non-judgementally) obese. I saw that everyone treated her with just as much respect as they did the Ironman-finishing, marathon-champion Olympic weightlifter types, and that’s largely why I chose to go there.

    • roses

      I pay $60/month for a regular gym that also includes classes (lifting, boot camp, yoga, zumba, etc.).

    • Anon

      Gym memberships are generally expensive, and I don’t think you should feel guilty. Of all the things to spend money on, this one seems like a no-brainer: you’re maintaining your health and equilibrium, not to mention warding off a host of (likely costly) problems down the road. Well worth it!

    • MB

      I pay $60 for 10 Barre classes. I go 1 to 2 x a week. And I run outdoors 5-6 times a week, which leads to new running shoes ($100) every 3 months or so. During the warmer months, I run 1-2 races a month, which is about $50 per month for entry fees.

      So, I spend an average of ~$100 / month for fitness related activities.

      What would you be doing at the gym? Would it be cheaper in the long run to invest in the equipment (weights?) and do a routine at home?

      • zane

        $60 for 10 barre classes!? I pay over $300 for 10. ugh, NYC… in fact, most of these prices seem way less than most everything I’ve seen in new york.

        • a passion for fashion

          I pay $165/mo for unlimited bar method classes, but yes, in my experience, everything is more expensive in NYC

        • MB

          This is a newer studio and is trying to get customers, so this price may increase. I’m on my third 10 for $60 package. I hope it doesn’t increase too much or they grandfather in existing customers. I agree its lower than I’ve seen, even in my low COL area. I’m not complaining, though! $300 in NYC is just crazy. Not that you are crazy. I know you are limited to what there is and if you want to workout, you have to pay the price. $30 per class is probably standard, but its so crazy to me how different prices are in NYC.

    • Anon

      I don’t have a gym membership (my apartment building has an adequate gym, and I try to do run outdoors (although am failing miserably with the cold weather)), but I pay roughly $680 for 8 sessions with a personal trainer per month, and I just signed up for a monthly yoga studio at approximately $120/mo. DH also spends a fair amount for things like spinning, and he’s about to try Cross Fit.

      It seems really extravagent, but we can afford it, and I’d rather spend the money on things that make me physically and mentally healthier than yet another dinner out or clothes.

      Why is it that you want to join a gym? Is it to take classes, weight training, or cardio? If it’s simply for cardio, I’d see if you can find a gym that lets you suspend your membership during the summer.

      • Equity's Darling

        It’s primarily for classes/weight training. I miss spin classes! Plus, a good friend goes to that gym, so it will also be partly socialization time.

    • Miss Behaved

      I pay $69 a month to go to a gym that’s down the street from my office at lunch. I also take a once a week stretching class in my office building. It’s 10/session. So about $80/month in total.

    • qwerty

      i hate to admit, but i spend a lot on my workout routine and am wasteful. i have a membership to a gym that is connected to my apt building. i paid for it for the first year (and did not use it much), but have since gotten every year free with a lease renewal. i still go to the gym very infrequently and don’t enjoy gym fitness classes. i pay separately for yoga and spin classes. for yoga i usually find rock bottom price groupons, it’s fun because i get to try new places, i also sometimes buy single classes for the yoga studio my husband likes (he’s more picky). then i also do the $30+ spin classes, the studio is nearby and it’s the only thing I can find that offers super early morning classes… all that said, i’m comfortable with my approach even though it sounds like a disaster because it gives me flexibility and variety means that i actually do workout and find a way to fit a routine into an otherwise chaotic life.

    • Emjay

      I pay $175 a month for a gym that thus far I’m very happy with–it has a lap pool and a separate kid pool (makes me think I’m theoretically swimming in water with a lower percentage of p e e), as well as ashtanga yoga and pilates. With the cost of yoga classes around here in addition to single-use lap pool costs, if I swim and do yoga each 2-3 times a week, the membership pays for itself. This is the sixth gym I’ve tried in my area, I think it might be my lobster :)

    • Anastasia

      I’m on a temporary gym membership hiatus, but I’ll be joining up again soon. $45/month for indoor and outdoor lap pools, plus all the standard equipment and most classes. I usually swim 3-4 times per week, and do weight training, spinning, yoga, or other classes on a few off days to mix things up.

      Does your hot yoga studio offer 10-class packages or something similar? I do these for ballet, rock climbing, pole fitness, etc that aren’t offered at my gym. They’re cheaper than a drop-in class rate, but without the guilt of not getting my money’s worth out of a monthly membership, since they’re usually good for several months.

    • Senior Attorney

      I pay a lot because my gym and fitness routine are super important to me and I looked for a really long time before I found the right fit. My small private gym has no memberships — it offers (indoor) boot camp classes and private training sessions on per-session or package basis. I try to do 3-4 boot camps and 2 training sessions per week. I just looked at my records and last year I spent $4,440 on the trainer and $1,284 on the boot camps, and it was the best money I spent.

      • Senior Attorney

        Oh, and I pay $70/month for weekly semi-private tap dancing lessons! Big fun!

      • In-House Optimist

        I’m pretty close to this in terms of cost – $45/mth for the actual gym membership (that has classes, yoga, Zumba, etc, in addition to weights … and they’re putting in a pool soon, yay!), but then I pay an additional $400/mth for my personal trainer who works with me at the gym. A lot of weeks I only go to the gym if I’m meeting my trainer – we meet twice a week – and then I feel guilty because I’m not using the other gym services I’m paying for. But hey, I guess that’s what the trainer is for – accountability so that I go at least twice a week? At least that’s what I say to console myself…

        • Senior Attorney

          And also, the trainer should be pushing you harder than you would push yourself. And helping you set fitness goals and making sure you train your whole body!

    • Calibrachoa

      30 euros ($40) a month for me; the place is a five minute walk from my house so I should have no excuse to not to go there… *sigh*

    • KinCA

      I pay…a lot. I have an awesome 24 Hour Membership that has me grandfathered in at a really low rate (like $25) for access to their best clubs, so I keep that, even though I don’t go there much. I typically pay $100+ a month for barre classes, depending on how often I’m able to go, and now I’ve been getting into TRX & spin, which run about $15-$17 a class.

      To me, if it’s a workout I enjoy & that I can get myself to go to, it’s worth shelling out $$ for.

    • Susie

      I think my gym membership is $45/mo. I go pretty much every day, and do a group exercise class + cardio most days. My company also has an on-site gym that is free and has a pool (which my regular gym does not). I’ve looked at specialty gyms (boxing and bar method) but wasn’t willing to spend that much.

    • SFBayA

      $110/month for a nice gym near our apartment which has tons of classes which I occasionally go to, an indoor and an outdoor pool (neither of which I have ever used), day care (N/A), and key for me, tons of weight machines, free weights, cardio machines, lots of natural light, and a well cleaned locker room so I can actually shower and get ready for work there. I’ve been so awful about going to the gym this year and attempted to do some exercises this morning at home with a set of weights that were not hard for me in early January. Now in mid-February, after six weeks of almost no activity, they were too heavy. I’m so angry at and disappointed in myself. TIme to get my sorry a$$ back to that expensive gym.

    • Moonstone

      In the past I have signed up for expensive gyms and felt bad about not getting my money’s worth (because I was on the couch binging on — I don’t know — Firefly or The Wire or whatever I was obsessed with that year). Now I pay as I go. The current breakdown is: 1) Planet Fitness on a special rate of $100 a year plus 2) Zumba class offered at a yoga studio in my neighborhood that offers a $15 drop-in rate plus 3) Pilates class through the Park District that works out to $5 a class plus 4) yoga classes where the teacher offers a punch-card, so you can get classes for $10 each by paying for a punch card for six classes over the course of two months. I try to take three classes a week and go to the gym for the treadmill twice a week.
      The point is, I had to build my own fitness program because I did not want to commit to a gym charging big bucks.

    • Gym

      I pay $35/month for my gym, which includes unlimited classes. It’s in Northern Virginia. It’s by far the nicest gym I’ve ever tried! It was going to be double that per month, but I negotiated it down. Pretty proud of that!!

    • shortiek

      I pay $10/month, just weights and machines. I weight lift about 2x a week. (more more like 1x this last month urgh)
      I swim for free at the town pool, 2x a week. The early “adult swim” hours lined up with my schedule, otherwise I might have looked for a gym with a pool. The locker rooms are * so terrible*, but it’s free.

    • AnnonFoo

      I go to a “classes-only” gym, (no machines or elliptical for personal use) and pay 95$ a month for unlimited classes. There is a good selection of cardio, strength, barre, zumba, yoga classes and I go about 4-5 days a week. Classes really work for me because I don’t get bored like on a treadmill and don’t really have to think what type of workout I should do.
      I have similar reason as MOA for spending on gym, my relationship life is crappy, job is stressful but not fulfilling. I just need a reason to leave work at a reasonable hour and not directly go to an empty house. Working out genuinely makes me feel better and I have seen results when my clothes fit me better.

    • Praxidike

      I really hope I don’t get flamed for this, but I get 3x/week personal training for around $700/mo. I am thinking about changing it, however, and just doing some “small group” classes at my current gym, which would be $300/mo for unlimited classes. I love training and I love my personal trainer, but right now we’re saving for a house and we could certainly use that extra $400/mo in our bank account.

    • Bonnie

      $35 a month for the gym in my office building and occasional yoga bundles. I hardly go to the gym at the office and feel bad for spending even $35 during those times when I make it up there once a week.

  10. Cornellian

    Long shot, but does anyone have a midtown Manhattan salon recommendation? I work near saks fifth avenue, have long straight thick non-dyed caucasian hair, and want a trim. I’m just planning on getting a trim right now, but with an eye towards cutting off a foot, soon, so recommendations for either cuts would be appreciated.

    • L

      It’s not in Midtown, but De Berardinis Salon in Chelsea is the first salon I’ve found (after being in NYC for 5 years) that I absolutely love. I go to Stacia for cuts — my first cut with her was when I had her cut off 12 inches and it came out beautifully.

      • Cornellian

        Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind for a few months. I actually now am itching to cut off 14 inches of hair at lunch, today….. I do it every couple years, but it always makes me stressed out and nauseous and anxious!

    • anon

      I went to Cutler recently on 57th b/t 5th and 6th on a recommendation from someone here and I really liked it (long straight thin hair and I just got a trim/layers). It was $100 but I knew anything in midtown wouldn’t be cheap and my hair looked great.

      • Cornellian

        I was hoping to keep the trim at or under $100, but am definitely willing to pay more than that for the proper cut.

        • AIMS

          A friend with a great haircut always raves about the John Barrett Salon in Bergdorf’s. Price is a not unreasonable $125. She sees a woman named Toby (I think).

    • Anon

      Not in midtown, but try Antonio Prieto salon on 20th between 6th & 7th. I have been getting my hair cut from Nick for a few years, and love him. I think he’s around $125-135, but there are people less senior to him who cost less.

    • Bailey270

      I like Boris at Magnifique. It is on 3rd Ave, near 36th or 37th, so that may be too far east for you. It isn’t particularly fancy, but my hair is similar to what you describe (long, thick, untreated) and I’ve gotten a cut for $55 or $60 there that I’ve been happy with. Though, I should say that I tend to be happy with my haircuts generally. Also, they are not the fastest, so it may not be the kind of place you drop by for a quick trim at lunch.

  11. D

    Grrr… the person I share an office wall with is having a really loud conference call. I can’t think!!

  12. LovesPatentLawHatesPatentLeather

    Long time reader, but only third time poster since I usually read several days later. Anyway, I’m a first year associate at a mid-size, high volume firm. I have several health issues and have had about six doctor appointments/medical tests in rrecent months. I recently had an MRI that detected an abnormality in my pituitary gland. I will likely need surgery and/or radiation or other medications that may result in several week of missed work. I will know more after my March 1 appointment.

    The problem is I need more work, but I’m hesitant to ask with this looming. I get 4 weeks to complete these projects. I have other projects that have longer deadlines, but it is important that I complete as many of the shorter projects as possible. Do I ask for more of the shorter assignments when I may not complete the? At what point do I tell my managing partner about my health problems? I’m meeting my billables and no one has said anything, but I am absent often and leave early due to exhaustion from other health issues and the stress. Thanks for the advice! I don’t really have anyone I can trust here to ask.

    • anon

      I had this surgery earlier in life. The scheduling of the actual surgery can be unpredictable — it could be in a few weeks or in several months — so I would wait till after March 1. I would just continue on as normal until then, and work it out after March 1. The surgery is pretty pain-free, as far as surgery goes, and the recovery is pretty quick — and you feel a lot better!!

    • Godzilla

      Wait until March 1st – it’s only 1.5 weeks away. Even if you don’t need surgery but are generally feeling ill, I think it’s important to let your supervisors know what’s going on in general terms (but I don’t work in a law office so ymmv). I hope you feel better soon.

    • mascot

      Wait until after your March 1 appointment to get some more information. Despite all of your health issues, you are still meeting expectations, which is impressive. I would think your fimr may be willing to work with you on a future schedule and may even reduce your billable target given the circumstances.

      • TBK

        +1 If it turns out you need treatment but it will be over soon-ish (so maybe by May or so), I wouldn’t ask for more work until you’re back. Even if you’re behind on billables, you’ll have time left in the year to make it up (and most work places, even law firms, will understand being behind early in the year due to medical treatment). It’s much better to have hours to make up than to take on work, not be able to finish it, and require everyone else to scramble to cover for you. If it’s going to be a longer horizon — so you’ll still be missing work through the summer, say — I’d come up with a detailed plan that shows how you’ll keep up with your work (and meet billable targets) despite being absent.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I’d also approach this on a case by case basis for assignments. In most instances, first year work can be fairly easily reassigned. If you take everything you are given and end up needed unexpected surgery, you would just then tell the assigning people “sorry, I’ve developed a medical issue that needs immediate surgery. I have completed x on the assignment but did not get to y. The file is on this shelf on my desk and the electronic docs are stored here on the firm server.” I can’t imagine anyone would hold this against you. That said, if you did get a rare assignment that you think could not be transferred under any circumstances (and to be honest I’m having a really hard time thinking of one) then you might want to give the assigning person a heads up. The only thing I can think of is a new case where only you know the facts and your assignment is to prep and attend an upcoming deposition or hearing. I doubt you would get such an assignment as a first year.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        I agree with the others though about not actively seeking work until you know more.

    • O.

      This isn’t directly on point but may be something to think/ask about once you know the course of treatment. My firm reduces associate’s billable target for significant medical issues. As a first year, I missed a week of work while recovery from emergency surgery, and my target for the year was reduced by approximately 40 hours as a result.

    • LovesPatentLawHatesPatentLeather

      Thanks, everyone. I had been waiting, but then I realized I will go without a shorter (but more important) assignment for at least three weeks since they take a couple of weeks to start once assigned. Really, I should be completing three of these a month, so going without will hurt my bottom line significantly. As for first year work being easily reassigned, this isn’t really the case with these assignments since they require a meeting with several clients before starting and finishing in four weeks is tight. As for reduced billables, that is probably possible but will extend my eligibility for partnership from six years to seven years, which I would hate to do during my first year.

  13. Diana Barry

    So I just started watching “House of Cards” and am now OBSESSED with Robin Wright’s haircut. It looks awesome! Do you all think that it could work with slightly wavy hair? (Also, I am not blond, IRL my hair is brown, not really raven tresses.)

    • lawsuited

      I have a friend with brown, wavy hair that has a similar cut, but the back is cut shorter so it sits pretty straight and just the hair around her crown gets curly. I think it looks beautifully effortless.

  14. Laura B

    I’m planning a weekend for my DH and I in Chicago in mid March. I decided to try out priceline bidding (after a friend enthusiastically recommended it several time) since we didn’t care where we ended up specifically, besides not being directly downtown or paying exorbitant parking fees. I picked the North OHare area (we’ve stayed in Rosemont before) and ended up at the O’Hare Airport Hilton. Ugh! Airport hotel + $47 for parking! I’m very disenchanted. Apparently I DID care about what hotel I ended up at.

    Anyway, trying to make the best of it – any recommendations on what to do/where to eat? Specifically, I’m wondering what to fill our Saturday afternoon with. Here’s what we’re thinking right now:

    Friday
    Arrive – Dinner at Gaslight Club in hotel

    Saturday
    Morning – Shedd Aquarium (DH has wanted to go there forever)
    Lunch – ???
    Afternoon – ??? Maybe Field Museum
    Dinner – Fogo de Chao or Texas de Brazil

    Sunday
    Lunch – ???
    2pm Book of Mormon (whole reason we’re going down – I’m so excited!)

    • Dessert Doctor

      I can’t speak to whether this fits with your plans geographically, but my DH and I did a short trip to Chicago last year and found Rick Bayless’ restaurants to be amazing (Frontera Grill, Xoco, Topolobampo).

      • anon in tejas

        third. best meal we had on our recent trip to chicago. actually may have been the best meal we had that year.

    • CHL

      If you’re open to taking the train, you could do brunch/lunch at Longman & Eagle in Logan Square before you go to Book of Mormon. It’s across the street from the Logan Square Blue Line stop, then you hop back on and get off at the Washington stop which is close to the theatre.

      I love the Aquarium but would maybe recommend the Art Institute over the Field Museum. The Field is good but can feel a little dated (e.g. wigwam dioramas).

      I too would recommend Rick Bayless’ restaurants — why come to Chicago just to go to a chain restaurant? If you’re really hankering for steak, there’s a decent Argentine steak place in Wicker Park (also off the Blue Line).

      • Laura B

        The Rick Bayless restaurants look amazing and my DH would love them. Is it insanely hard to get into Frontera Grill for Saturday lunch? I think we might try, and if it’s a long wait then just go to Xoco as a backup plan.

        • anon in tejas

          we walked in and had lunch on a week day. the wait was about an hour, but we didn’t wait that long and it was worth it.

      • Plan B

        And if you do go to the Art Institute as CHL recommended, you could have lunch at Terzo Piano in the modern wing. Another option for lunch near the Art Institute is The Gage.

      • shortiek

        just meet up with boyfriend in Chicago, and Xoco was GREAT. We went for Saturday breakfast, and it was awesome (esp if you love chocolate for breakfast).

        We went to the Fields museum, and really enjoyed it. There’s an early bird parking special- $11 before 930am in the alder lot out on the pennisula towards to planetarium. If you’re just going to the aquarium in the morning, there’s also street parking along the pennisula that’s much cheaper than doing museum garage or all day parking ($18/20!)
        As you can tell, I hate paying for parking.

    • L

      If you’re near the Magnificent Mile at any point, go to the West Egg (near the embassy suites) for breakfast. It is amazing.

    • Anonymous

      Same thing has happened to me with hotwire and ending up at that O’Hare Hilton. The hotel itself is perfectly fine, but it was kind of a bummer to be right AT the airport.

      I third the recommendation of Rick Bayless’s restaurants. Topolobompo was amazing.

      For things to do, the architectural boat tour is really interesting, as is the Frank Lloyd Wright home and studio. And since you will have a car, you could also go see the Bahai temple, which is gorgeous and quite interesting.

      • Laura B

        :) I feel so much better that the Ohare thing happened to someone else. I felt so stupid when it happened last night, and then had to tell my DH that my brilliant plan for bidding completely failed. Not exactly the triumph I was looking for, Shatner.

        The architectural boat tour sounds interesting. Is the boat enclosed? Could it be too cold in March? I’m from WI, so I know trying to tell the weather in this area is a crap shoot this time of year, so I’m trying to plan things that would be fun even if its 10 degrees outside.

        • Laura B

          Never mind. Just looked it up and the tours don’t start until the end of March. :( Next time!

        • ANP

          Fellow Sconnie (Chicago transplant actually) here! Gauge the weather before you buy your boat tour tix but its totally possible to swing it in March. I second the Rick Bayless recs; I think you can get brunch @ Frontera so maybe that’s an option? Also, I recommend a drink (expensive, but worth it and the views are better/higher/cheaper than the observatory) at the Signature Room at the John Hancock Building.

        • Praxidike

          Woo, another ‘sconnie. We need to get a Madison or Milwaukee ‘rette meeting going…

        • K Babes

          I’m going to start using “Not exactly the triumph I was looking for, Shatner.” in my everyday conversations.

    • manomanon

      Sweetwater Tavern is my only rec- my friends and I eat there everytime we hit Chicago!

    • Praxidike

      We’ve spent a lot of time in Chicago. Unless you’re wedded to the idea of Fogo or Texas de Brasil, I would recommend going elsewhere for dinner. The Rick Bayless restaurants are excellent, and I highly recommend trying either Frontera Grill or its fancier counterpart Topoloblamo. Have not had a bad meal either place and the service is great. If you’re looking for fancy Italian, I recommend Cafe Spiaggia (which is less expensive than its sister restaurant, Spiaggia). I’ve had excellent small plates at Sable, which is actually a hotel restaurant at one of the Kimpton hotels. They have pretty innovative drinks, too.

      If you’re looking for a place to do brunch/breakfast near the Shedd Aquarium you can try the Bongo Room, which is within walking distance of the Shedd. They serve a pretty good breakfast, but the waits can be kind of long. Brunch at Frontera is also an option and I think their brunch menu is fab.

    • anonnypants

      If you get out towards Uptown for any reason, Carmela’s Taqueria is outstanding for a super cheap, super amazing lunch (1206 W Lawrence Ave). Only a few tables, but usually pretty quick turnover. Get the al pastor anything. Amazing. If you haven’t had it, grab some of Garrett’s Popcorn (Chicago Mix), and pizza or hotdogs are always a classic choice. I like Giordano’s for pizza and Hot Doug’s for unconventional dogs.
      And I second Praxidike, Cafe Spiaggia is great and Sable is still on my list for the next visit. If you’re looking for a fun bar and happen to like champagne, check out Pops for Champagne. Vibrant atmosphere (still perfect for a couple) and incredible bartenders.

  15. Tax question

    Quick tax question – my husband and I were married this year and now live and work in different states (he moved and changed jobs partway through the year). We each pay state taxes to the state in which we live and work. However I’m concerned that if we file jointly one or both of us will have to pay taxes to the other persons state. Any idea if this is true? We’ve always used turbotax to do our taxes before but I’m wondering if this year maybe we need an accountant. Any thoughts on whether turbotax will be able to handle our situation are appreciated as well.

    • TBK

      In my experience, no, Turbotax won’t be able to handle it. Mr. TBK and I lived in different states when we were married, then a few weeks after the wedding, picked up and moved to a third state. If my laptop were a cartoon, it would have had smoke coming out of its ears when we tried to make it do our taxes that year. We wound up using an accountant.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I live in a no-income tax state next to a couple high-income tax states. I have heard that if one spouse works in high income tax state, even though that spouse lives in no-income tax state, both spouses will have to pay income taxes to high income tax state. That sounds totally absurd to me and makes me think it boils down to state law.

      I did use tax act or another software in a year that I moved and lived and worked in two different states and it handled it just fine.

    • Diana Barry

      We used H+R Block when my H worked in a different state, but it wasn’t pretty. If you have any kinds of gain/losses or K-1s, it can’t handle it. We got an accountant – well worth $500 or so (what it was the first year) to not have to spend 8 hrs doing taxes!

    • qwerty

      turbotax will not be able to handle it. i had the same situation a few years ago, turbotax scrwed it up and we got a bill in the mail from both states and the irs, with interest. very unpleasant.

    • Divaliscious11

      I don’t know if Turbo can do it – out taxes are complicated – but spouse and I ‘live/work’ in 2 different states. We file jointly but earnings are taxed only in the state where they were earned… We use an accountant and pay about $325.

    • hoola hoopa

      Don’t use TurboTax for this. I love my TT, but definitely use an accountant this year.

    • Emmabean

      I need to find an accountant to do my taxes, and I’ve been putting it off because I have no clue where to look. For those of you who have hired someone, how did you find them?

      • wintergreen126

        For years I used the same accountant as my parents, but when I moved for law school, I decided to take my chances and try H&R Block. I got lucky; I found someone who is really great and knows what she’s doing. I’ve been going to her for a couple years, and she remembers me every time, even though I only show up during tax season.

        Otherwise, ask around and see if your co-workers or friends have any recommendations.

  16. lo & sons omg

    PSA: I have the Lo & Sons OMG bag and I really like it, but I just found the Dakine Valet 19L on Zappos, which seems like a very, very similar bag for a fraction of the cost.

    Not gonna put the link b/c of moderation, but just thought I’d share the find…

  17. petitesq - Pure Barre?

    Seeking Hive reviews. A Pure Barre studio opened near my house, and I’m strongly considering checking it out. Any reviews or personal experiences to share?

    • MB

      I love it. Its not an “intense” workout in that you don’t leave a sweaty, shaking mess, but its a great supplement to a regular exercise routine. Its not complicated (I recall days of yore when I would flail my way through a step aerobics class). The moves are simple but effective. Bottom line, I love it. I’m fairly in shape already and haven’t done it long enough to see huge results, but I’m sore enough the day after class to make me believe its working (but not sore enough that I dread going back).

    • CW

      I tried one Pure Barre class, and it just wasn’t what I was looking for, but I obviously have very limited experience with the classes so take this with a grain of salt. I had sort of expected it to be more ballet/yoga-ish (I did no research as to what it was beforehand). It was more like tiny movements using light weights, balls, or just body resistance. Because you would focus so intently on a specific spot, you definitely feel muscle fatigue, and I do remember being sore the day after. I know people who love it, so you should definitely check out a class or two.

    • Boston Blonde

      I have been doing it at different PB studios in different states on and off for the past 6 years. I think it is a great workout with fun music. I think it would be really good for people who want to switch from straight cardio to something else but find yoga or pilates too slow or boring. I feel like I enjoy it more when I do it less frequently and use it more as a kickstart to getting my workouts back on track or a treat. I do get bored with the routine. The order is the same every class and you get to know the different exercises for each muscle group pretty quickly. Usually, they will give you a free class or put it towards your first month unlimited package deal to try it out.

  18. Anon

    I have two friends that are each pregnant with their second child and both are having opposite gender babies from their first child. Any suggestions for gifts? I know they likely have most of the basics covered, but what are some things you would have liked to have received for your second child?

    • mama of 2

      Baby clothes! Also, I think it’s nice to get some new baby blankets. Plush baby toys are appreciated – my oldest daughter had claimed all of them so the new baby needs some of his own.

      Also, you might just see if they have registries – I know that some of the basics from my first baby were pretty tattered by the time #2 came around (especially things like bottle nipples).

    • mamabear

      For my daughter’s shower, I received tons of adorable outfits – pretty much all pink. For my son, I didn’t want a shower as we had all the basics. But I wasn’t going to dress him in his sister’s pink stuff. (sorry, just couldn’t do it) A small group of women at work gave me gifts and I really appreciated the handful of cute (but practical) outfits I got for him. It’s not generally as fun to buy clothing for little boys so I was glad some of them did. All the early photos of my son are in these little outfits.

      Cute but practical outfits are washable, stretchy and soft but with some sort of cute applique or plush fabric that sets them apart from regular Carter’s type pajamas.

    • Suzer

      For me, by the time the 2nd came along my bibs and baby washcloths were pretty gross. It was really nice when my coworkers surprised me with new basics like that.

    • Anon

      I appreciated cute baby girl clothes (since my first was a boy). We had quite a few gender nuetral things that we were able to re-use, but it was also nice to be able to dress her in girly stuff. Some of my friends also re-stocked our supply of baby bath soap, baby detergent, diapers, wipes, cream. Those type of things. And since our older child was just a toddler we really appreciated the gift card that a few relatives went in on to get a double stroller!

      Also, small gifts for our older child were very appreciated, as it made his day, and meals or gift cards for local restuarants.

    • Midwest

      If it were me, I’d really appreciate a fresh batch of the basics: washcloths, burp cloths, and those Carter’s 1-piece sleepers. They all get pretty grungy and gross over time. Or, the standard 2nd baby gift of diapers and wipes is great, too.

  19. SJ

    I recently decided to place myself on a shopping ban for all cosmetic/beauty supplies until I use up everything and I must say, I have way too many partially used tubes and bottles. The kicker is that they’re all fine products. I need to find a regimen and stick with it.

    • Calibrachoa

      I should do the same thing! I end up “cycling” through my cosmetics – I am really gung-ho about using some specific thing or things for a little while and then something else catches my eye – often something I had either forgotten about or rediscover somewhere it should not be at…

    • In-House Optimist

      I did this too and it has been really awesome for my budget. I actually keep a spreadsheet now of what I have used and what I thought of it (it’s the second worksheet on my clothing budget). My only exception to the rule is that I’m allowed to purchase one thing to use at home and one thing to use at the gym in the mornings (it keeps me sane).

    • HSAL

      I’ve been trying to do this. I’m okay on skincare, but my eyeshadow will outlive me.

  20. BabyHelp

    I’m a 31yo 3L and I need advice on when to start a family. I know you ladies here say there’s “no good time,” so I’m trying to find a “less bad” time. We tried for a 3L baby but it didn’t happen. Of course, all this planning is predicated on biology cooperating.

    I’ve been accepted into one of the top 3 tax LLM schools and will start in the fall. I plan to take the bar this summer, but that’s not set in stone. My husband and I will be moving cross-country this summer for his job and my program.

    Option A – Thanksgiving 2013 baby.

    1) Would moving cross country this summer and taking the bar while pregnant just be too much? I could take the bar next summer after the LLM.

    2) For my classes, I believe I can take paper courses, courses that end mid-semester, and work with the remaining professors to get through finals. This would give me 6+ weeks with nothing on my plate to adjust to the new baby before heading back to class in January.

    3) Does anyone know about tax LLM internships? Would not interning or only interning for a few weeks in the fall semester be a detriment to my future career?

    4) I worry that we’d be ready for our second child shortly after I’ve started my new job and that’ll look bad.

    Option B – May/June 2014 (Graduation) baby.

    1) I’d be interviewing pregnant, which seems like a major downside, but the selling point for the employer is that I would start in late summer after getting the hang of things and they wouldn’t have to deal with maternity leave. Bad idea?

    2) Same question as above about interning (or not) while pregnant.

    Option C – 2015 and after baby.

    1) Get pregnant after being on the job 6+ months. I’m worried about running into diminishing fertility – we’d like 3-4 children and I’ll be 33+.

    For any of these scenarios, we are fortunate that finances and healthcare are not concerns. Thank you so much for your insight! We just feel so uncertain right now.

    • Anon

      Never been pregnant, but did study for the bar, and it’s not bad. I spent a lot of time on my butt watching the vids/practice tests/netflix, so it seems like a good time to be pregant. Then you can LLM and enjoy the baby before you start working!

    • Anon

      I took the bar while pregnant and interviewed while pregnant. It was not too bad and I both passed the bar and found a job. I think it would be much preferrable to take the bar while pregnant rather than while taking care of a child.

      I don’t know that I would risk waiting until 33+ if you want 3-4 children. I’m sure it works out for some people, but it does seem like a risk.

    • goldribbons

      There have been book recommendations the last few weeks, but if you’ve tried and haven’t gotten pregnant, I would really recommend The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant. Apparently it incorporates a lot from Taking Charge of Your Fertility (not sure if you’ve read that). I’m not pregnant but I started reading the book and I really liked the tone & amount of info.

    • Violet's Fan

      I had a 3L Thanksgiving baby for my first baby, and I interviewed while pregnant with my third baby. Studying for the bar while pregnant would be a piece of cake compared to studying for the bar with a baby (or doing pretty much anything with a baby…even if you have an exceptionally good baby, having your first is such a big adjustment). If you are taking a poll, I would go for it if I was in your shoes. Good luck!

    • anon llm

      The LLM program is brief and intense. I would not advise giving birth during the first semester (I was on track to have a November baby and would up with an October baby; for another pregnancy, I was forbidden to fly because I had a previa). If I could plan, it would be for the summer after you’ve graduated. FWIW, first trimester can make you very sleepy for weeks on end and it would be tough to adjust to a new city/school/doctor/routine during that time. Not undoable though.

      LLMs are expensive and I would want to do a really good job at that program, especially if you don’t have a job lined up afterwards. Every pregnancy is different and if you just need the LLM credential more than you need to ace the program to get a job, I’d not worry about school (they’ll pretty much pass you) and just let the baby come when the baby comes.

      At any rate, I’d take the bar asap. Of all of my pumping nightmares, that would be #1.

      — NYU LLM (tax)

      • BabyHelp

        Anon LLM,

        Can you elaborate some on your post? I’ve read through it a couple times and have some questions.

        – Re: grades. I’ve assumed, like the JD, that it’s impossible to get a 4.0 (you said “ace”) and that a mix of As and Bs is to be expected. I have a male friend enrolled at my LLM school now (obv couldn’t discuss TTC with him), and he said he got a mix of As and Bs and that Cs are only rarely given to those people lazy enough to earn them. He also said he’s had employers emailing him out of the blue to ask him to come work for them. Are employers really making the distinction between 3.8/3.6/3.4 such that I need to lock myself in the library a la 1L year? I had an impressive previous career in management that opens many doors for me – my undergrad and JD academics are merely adequate (3.2 for both). I do not have a position lined up, but hope to return to the field I worked in previously.

        – I would still be finishing my JD for 1st trimester, so the exhaustion isn’t a factor. I am, like the old adage goes, bored to tears now in my third year. I would be beginning my third trimester with the beginning of school in the fall.

        • anon llm

          I did my LLM ages ago, but then if you had a 3.5, you could go where you wanted. If you were going to a regional market, you pretty much just needed the credential. If you wanted to go to Cravath, you’d better be at the top of your class. It was much more of a deal for people who wanted to stay in NYC and go to BIGLAW (there, people often go at night and the firms send them, so there weren’t a ton of jobs). You can do early interview week in the early fall with the 3Ls, so you don’t have grades by then, but for spring interviews, I found that the bigger firms asked and had hard cut-offs.

    • TBK

      I’ve learned this year that the only thing you can plan about when to have a baby is that you can’t plan. (Well, you can mostly plan when NOT to have one, but planning to have the baby arrive on, or even near, X date is challenging.) If you want many children, and you’re in a stable relationship, I say go for it. For all you know it could take you a year or more to get pregnant anyway.

    • Diana Barry

      Go for it now! TTC is unpredictable and the first option sounds fine if you happen to hit it right away.

    • Blue

      I don’t have any advice about when to try for children but I would love to talk to you about your experience as a non-traditional student in law school. I will be about the same age as you when I graduate so I’d love to ask you some questions if you are willing. Are we able to chat offline via email?

      • Sugar Magnolia

        I graduated when i was in my 30s as well, so feel free to contact me if you need advice/info.

      • BabyHelp

        Blue, I’d be happy to talk, but I’m not sure how to do that without writing my email for all the world to see.

  21. Rec for NOLA Hospital

    I will be spending some time in New Orleans in my third trimester. I’ve asked my regular OB for recommendations, and neither she nor the practice generally have any specific thoughts. Anyone have recommendations for the best hospital (specifically labor and delivery) in town? Given that I would only need it if I was early, I’m looking for one that would handle preemies well. Many thanks!

    • NOLA

      I’ve never given birth but have been at the 3 larger hospitals Uptown. I don’t personally like Touro as well but I know someone recently who had her daughter 5 weeks early at Touro and they are doing well. After 3 1/2 weeks, the baby is tiny but healthy. Baptist was always known for over-recommending caesareans but they were bought by Ochsner after Katrina and I haven’t heard that since. My colleague had both of her babies at Ochsner main campus on Jefferson Highway. That’s also my preferred hospital and I’ve always had great care there. It’s right outside the city limits so close to the city. I hope this is helpful.

    • darby

      What about getting in touch with Tulane? Pretty sure they have a med school/hospital there.

    • EB0220

      I was born at Ochsner …but that was 32 years ago! And I was 2 weeks late. However, I know that a set of triplets and quadruplets were born at Ochsner within 24 hrs of each other a couple of years ago. They were all tiny and early, so I imagine that the NICU is reasonably well-respected.

    • Anon from NOLA

      Go with Oschner’s main campus or East Jefferson (also right outside of New Orleans). I’d only go to Touro as a last resort.

      I’ve never heard of anyone delivering at Tulane Hospital, but Tulane is now associated with Lakeside Hospital which has, since I was born, had possibly the best reputation for delivering babies in the metro New Orleans area. It’s also right outside of the city itself.

    • moss

      I had my older son in Meadowcrest (? it was 17 years ago) hospital, on the Algiers side of the river. I thought it was super nice.

  22. Anon for this

    My employer is trying to improve its recruitment and retention of women employees and is doing a series of feedback lunch events where a very senior manager has lunch with small groups of women employees to discuss relevant issues.

    Here’s my problem: there’s an HR person who’s emailed all attendees asking for a short career bio and a recent photograph.

    I’m fine w/the career bio, but the recent photograph is weird and triggery. I’ve been the victim of creepy borderline stalkery behavior from a coworker and one way of preventing them from trying to insert themselves into your life is to not let them have any access to any photos of you if possible. Because otherwise, they can edit the photo such that it looks like you’ve been in a relationship with them, and then they circulate that to people who don’t really know you, and it makes their attempts to insert themselves into your life easier. So I really, really don’t want to submit a photo.

    Do I tell this to the HR person? (HR is huge in this company, and w/many depts who don’t talk to each other, so the log on the creepy coworker behavior may not easily be accessible to an HR person whose focus is planning events like this.)

    What’s the best way to avoid submitting a photo without coming across as a troublemaker who won’t play into the company’s PR game? (Because, yes, there’s a weird PR-ish gloss to this thing.)

    Thanks in advance.

    • CHL

      I’m in HR and wondering what the hell kind of HR department you have that’s not taking care of creepy stalker behavior towards one of its high-potentials. Assume that the events person doesn’t have any idea (because they would keep it confidential within HR unless you brought it up). If you have an HR Business Partner that serves your business unit, you could ask them. If not, try to find the head of Talent Management or Leadership Development or whoever is helping to organize and explain that you’re really excited to participate but you’d prefer if a photo wasn’t used. I can’t imagine anyone would make a big issue, but sometimes the coordinator level person will feel like they can’t come back until they have a photo of everyone on that list, darn it!

    • k-padi

      I’ve had many creepy, stalker-y coworkers before so . . . Internet hugs. I’d ask HR how the photo will be distributed before refusing to submit a photo.

      My initial impression is that the photo might be for the Very Senior Manager to prepare for the lunch. She probably just wants a “cheat sheet” so she doesn’t need to stress about learning everyone’s name over lunch. Law professors often have a seating chart with everyone’s picture so they can call on you in class.

      Will the coworker have access through HR to an electronic copy of the photo? If not, I don’t see how he can easily manipulate a print photo of you. Plus, if he really wanted a photo of you to manipulate, he could snap a photo on his cell phone.

      I would think that the scary part about this would be if your name or photo were featured in print or electronically to announce that you are going to be a lunch-attendee alerting the coworker to your planned location. This is what I would talk to HR about. Can they exclude your name or image from the materials promoting this lunch?

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Do you already have a photo elsewhere on your employer’s website or another photo that is already public and clearly profession? I’m thinking on LinkedIn maybe? If so, I’d use one that is clearly “posed professional” and can’t be easily photoshopped into other pics. Likewise, it would be a picture already available to creepy stalker so you wouldn’t really be losing any privacy.

      I also second the advice to find out how it will be used. Maybe it is just for the speaker. I have ahd to submit a photo for all kinds of weird things, including my bar app but they were kept confidential.

    • hellskitchen

      Instead of a photo file, could you send a link to a LinkedIn profile with a photo? If they just need it for the senior person to match face to name, that should suffice

    • MiddleCoast

      How about a black and white LinkedIn profile type photo? It would be difficult to photoshop you into other photos.

  24. Yellow

    I’m about to get myself back into an old hobby from growing up and I am SO excited. I forgot how happy it can make you to have one thing a week that you can look forward to that’s just for yourself!

    I know there are some ladies with horses on here… how did you get back into it as an adult and how do you balance it with work? Do you have your own horses?

    • European

      First time poster, long time lurker.. had to reply when there’s talk of horses! Just wanted to say YAY!! good for you! You’re gonna have so much fun :) I have my own horse (and a demanding job – no kids), and while it can be hard to balance with work at times, with a bit of planning it can be done. I don’t have much time for other hobbies, but I’m fine with that. If you’re thinking of buying a horse, I think you need to consider if you have time for such a huge commitment in your life – not just now, but years ahead, and whether you can afford it (because it’s crazy expensive). But to me – totally worth it.

  25. SheWhoBrokeHerLeg

    I have this jacket — I wore it yesterday with a navy pencil skirt and a white oxford with navy polka dots.
    http://www.jcrew.com/womens_category/shirtsandtops/casualshirts/PRDOVR~40818/40818.jsp

    I wore nude fishnets and gray pumps and loved it.

    I’ve also worn it with a red pencil skirt and a black T, and with a red sweater and gray trousers.
    It really looks like a jacket, but it is a sweater. It is really comfortable. I think it is light enough to go into spring with white separates as well, or with jeans (dark or white) on casual Friday.

    • eastbaybanker

      I’m taking notes! I bought this in navy a week ago and have stared at it in my closet every morning with no idea how to style it. It’s such a black navy I was hesitant to pair it with true navy, but I’m going to go fot it.

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