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Monday’s Workwear Report: Hi-Lite Brush Print Pleated Dress

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. jason-wu-office-dressHappy Monday! I'm loving this office dress from Jason Wu! I always feel like patterned/printed dresses are one of the places where it makes sense to splurge because the little details, like how the pattern is sewn together or how it looks with darts or pleats — can go so, so wrong if it's done cheaply. This blue, white and black dress and pattern is a perfect example of a pattern can look like a work of art when folded and pleated — instead of a mistake in a factory. The dress is $695 at Nordstrom. Grey Jason Wu ‘Hi-Lite Brush' Print Pleated Dress Like the colors but want something more affordable? Check out this plus-size sheath or this $56 wrap dress in regular sizes. Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-all)

Sales of note for 12.13

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals on skincare including Charlotte Tilbury, Living Proof, Dyson, Shark Pro, and gift sets!
  • Ann Taylor – 50% off everything, including new arrivals (order via standard shipping for 12/23 expected delivery)
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 400+ styles starting at $19
  • J.Crew – Up to 60% off almost everything + free shipping (12/13 only)
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off everything and free shipping, no minimum
  • Macy's – $30 off every $150 beauty purchase on top brands
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off, plus free shipping on everything (and 20% off your first order)
  • Talbots – 50% off entire purchase, and free shipping on $99+

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

258 Comments

  1. I have a hard time developing long lasting friendships with woman. I have lots of guy friends.

    Can anybody relate or offer advise?

    1. Why do you think that is the case? Women is such a massive category. There are literally infinite options of women to befriend. If you can’t keep any women as friends but don’t struggle with guys I think you need to examine your own sexism and see how it is impacting your life- do you have different unspoken expectations for female friendship? Do you seek out friendships with women in a different way than men? Even if you’re not making any of these choices deliberately, are you relating to men in a different way?

      2. +1

        OP might be treating her women friends in a way that is unappealing without even realizing it.

      5. I have the same problem because I don’t like when woman are needy. Therefore, I need busy female friends, but they are too busy! lol! I want to be able to go shopping with a woman, but not all the time. It seems like all or nothing with many women.

    2. I went to law school with a girl like this. She’s not a bad person. She has a disposition though (both flirty and a bit come-hither) that I imagine a lot of guys find appealing b/c they are getting a lot of attention from her. That sort of attention is not something that really works with women, so she didn’t have a lot of women friends.

      Maybe this is you?

      FWIW, she got herself in a little bit of trouble with her first job and had a come-to-Jesus moment where she seriously evaluated how her acts were perceived (which I truly believe was not fully intended, maybe a carryover from all parties’ adolescences where no one was the cool kid and just wanted to be liked more and have more friends) and took it down several notches.

    3. I’m like this. one of my close female friends likes to say that I “can’t talk girl.” I can be blunt, especially when asked about my opinions about things. For example, I once upset a friend when she asked me what I thought of a vest she bought. I said “it looks nice.” That was apparently the wrong answer, and she kept pushing until I gave my actual opinion, which was “It’s okay. Not terrible, but nothing special either.” I feel like this is such a stereotype, but it usually feels like I just don’t know/understand female group social norms. I do have a couple of close girl friends, and this is their take on the situation as well.

      1. See, you just need to know different women. I don’t talk girl because I’m not a girl I’m an adult woman and so are all of my friends. We are blunt opinionated funny political sportsball watchers who do triathlons make stew watch The Crown read the Financial a Times run businesses teach children date love.

        It is a stereotype and you should many work on seeing past it, because the women I met at Girl Scout camp and Wellesley and law school and on the job are incredible.

        1. +1. Also, the statement about the vest was hardly earth-shattering. It was polite and not even particularly “blunt.” I know scores of women who speak plainly, though respectfully, and they don’t have issues maintaining close friendships with each other.

          1. Yeah that vest comment would be not an issue at all in any of my friendships.

          2. It’s about having the social dexterity to recognize that the friend is looking for a compliment. “It’s nice but I really love your coat/boots/gloves/whatever. I kept meaning to ask you where you got that/them” for example.

            And realizing that different friendships are different. I almost never talk about style with one of my best friends – it’s not her thing at all. If she asked me for an opinion on something new, I would be supportive because I’d realize she was nervous about her choice. I’d be much more plain spoken with my other friend who’s my best shopping buddy.

          3. I don’t think it’s blunt either. But that’s the feedback that I’ve received. Maybe I do just need to get to know different women. I don’t think I assume this is true about all women, but sometimes I feel like I just don’t know how to act around them. So I act normal. I have female friends, but fewer of them than male friends.
            Also, I’m nowhere in the ballpark of flirty.

          4. I don’t disagree, but the issue is believing that all women require this kind of “dexterity,”–as opposed to just some.

            And not for nothing, I know a lot of very thin-skinned men too.

        2. +1

          Also, fun fact, I have had that exact “vest” conversation (although about shirts, not a vest) with my husband on at least two prior occasions. The insecure-compliment-hunter personality is not a women-only thing.

          1. Are you married to my husband? He is all “verbal affirmation” (and also “gifts of stuff”). He really wants fawning praise / instant reassurance, but in reality, that’s his little voice acknowledging that something is wrong (those pants DO make you look fat; that shirt IS too small) and he just wants it quieted. It is a very delicate dance . . .

            “I think that these other pants suit you better.”
            “You know, I really prefer this other shirt.”

            I work, I answer a Y/N question with either a Y or a N.

      2. I have two friends that claim they don’t get along with most women and bluntness or inability to navigate social situations dominated by women, is a common thread. I would say my friendship with each is narrow rather than broad based – like one is in my book club and we rarely talk about anything but books because it just gets awkward.

        Interestingly, they don’t get along with each other because they can’t take each other’s bluntness. It’s like they’re used to it from men, still sensitive to it from other women.

        Bluntness, or being flirty with men regardless of whether or not the man is partnered (including in front of the partner) are the two most common issues I see. The later breaks up friendships but not because of cheating concerns, it’s just that the flirting reaches a disrespectful towards the friend level.

      3. Same. I make effort to just listen and be more sympathetic but I tend to be more problem-solving and action oriented than just listening to girls gripe.

        Because of this, I also have a long and storied history of being the female best friend who gets shoved off after a guy friend starts dating a girl who is skeptical/jealous/whatever of our platonic friendship.

        I also have a lot of weird friendships with guys where you don’t know if they ever were really platonic or if they had less-than-pure feelings. The, “can men and women ever really be just friends?” thing.

        1. I have a few female friends that had mostly guy friends. It was clear to me that many of the guys were infatuated with my female friend, and several clearly in love, but she was/?acted completely oblivious. She is married now, and has more female friends.

      4. This whole thread is cracking me up. I am blunt af. I don’t know a man or woman blunter than me and I have many male and female friends (of many species). This is not a “blunt” issue. You nurture the friendships you feel like nurturing. If you’re noticing a trend, that’s on YOU, not every other person on the planet.

      5. I agree that there are often more/complicated unspoken social norms among women that some of us haven’t been socialized into. But there are enough of us outliers that you can probably find someone or several someones you’ll get along with.

    4. I think the first order of business is introspection. Have you tried to initiate/deepen friendships with women? If so, what happens? Have you not tried? If so, why not? Are there traits you seek out in friends that you find more often in men than you do in women?

    5. I’d start with taking a look at the female friendships you’ve had in the past:
      1. Why have you lost contact with your female friends? Was there a fight, the slow fade, they moved out of town?
      2. Why did you consider them friends in the first place? Did you have things/interests in common? Were you friends of circumstance (friendly because you happened to be in the same place, like work, all the time)?
      3. How do you interact with your male friends? How do they interact with you? How do your male friends act vs the female friends act?
      4. Where are you making friends? At work, via interests? What is the gender balance at those places?

      It took me until post-law school to really find a good group of female friends. I had friendships in college and law school, but only really managed to hold onto one close relationship from each when those phases were done. So, maybe you just haven’t met your people yet?

      1. Seconding this – I am in my mid 20s and had mostly (not exclusively) male friends until my mid 20s or so. I always had a few female friends but I didn’t really find a group of women I connected with until fairly recently. I don’t really know what happened, I just started meeting more women involved in the things I was interested in that skewed heavily male at a younger age (sadly a lot of political work, not sure why there weren’t so many women involved in those things with me at a younger age) , my male friends started coupling up with super cool women who I am now close with, etc. I’m not sure how old you are but it seems very possible that you just haven’t found your people yet, and its always worth checking out new frameworks and ways of making friends.

    6. I was like this when I was younger. I realized I really enjoyed subtle $exual tension in my friendships. I was partnered so nothing was going to come of it but I loved the attention. I wasn’t cool in high school and really came into my own looks wise in college. Suddenly, I got a ton of attention and I enjoyed it. It was easier to meet men because they would seek me out and talk to me. They would act interested in everything I had to say. Their eyes would light up when they saw me. They’d hug me. They’d buy me things. It was basically the friend zone before that phrase was cool. Except they knew they weren’t going to get me in bed either but they still liked to have me around. I felt safe and protected with them. I had enough of them that I really didn’t need or miss female friends. Frankly, a lot of women probably didn’t like me because of how I acted with men.

      Another factor was because I was bullied in school, I was leery of women. I wasn’t bullied by guys in school. I was especially leery of other attractive women who reminded me of the mean girls in school. Then my husband made a new bff and new bff’s wife is gorgeous. I got to know her and she is one of the nicest people I have ever met and one of my closest friends. If back then I had met her at work or through friends or at a bar I would have made no effort to get to know her at all.

      I still struggle making small talk with women at professional networking events. Everything I learned about social interaction was based off of talking with men who were likely just figuring out if they could sleep with me or who wanted to talk to the attractive woman. Where it gets weird though, is that a lot of the men I met that way turned into amazing friends and part of my family but our initial interactions began with flirting.

      1. Yes, I am also very leery of women because of bullying and cliques in school. I assume I’m not going to be included.

        I find this less the case with guys, so I have a lot of strong male relationships. I am also a natural tomboy and STEM person, so it was always a good fit

        I’ve gotten better at relationships with women, but it has to be a certain type.

        2. This entire comment thread is fascinating. I was and am not very “girly” so those groups of polished, super well dressed or good looking girls have always intimidated me. Like the vest poster above I am just not at all good with those things. As I’ve grown older I’ve realized that I don’t have to feel like that around those women, but I still do find it easier to talk to guys than girls sometimes especially in new situations like a party where I don’t know too many people. I don’t like when people assume that guy-girl friendship = sexual tension.

          That being said, I have tons of girl friends, more than guy friends. I’m just the weird one and everyone knows it. Still for example at work I don’t mind being on a team or group with all guys because I feel afraid of that “clique” still somewhere in there.

          1. I’m the anon for this above. I don’t assume all guy/girl relationships are replete with $exual tension. I was just discussing some of the friendships I previously was engaged in.

      2. Yay! Pricey Monday! I love Pricey Monday’s and the $56 Ann Klein alternate wrap dress you spotted. It is classey enough for me to wear to work, as the manageing partner does NOT like to pay for Monday’s pricey selections. FOOEY!

        As for the OP, I was one of those women. In college, I did NOT have a lot of female freind’s b/c they always got annoyed b/c men were fawning over me. It was NOT my fault, mom said, for being cute. But women can be catty and jelous. Now I have a few good women freind’s, and I am good to them. I was out all morning at the Marathon on 1st Avenue until Myrna ran by about 1:00 pm. It was chilley, but I do that kind of thing for my freind’s. Men have kind of floated away, now that I am not in college or law school, but I do stick with Myrna and Laurie and a few others. Good freinds are hard to find, and men are not realy interested in being freind’s unless it includes me takeing my panties off for them — and I say FOOEY to that unless we are at least dateing. DOUBEL FOOEY on men that think of us onley as sex objects. We are profesionals and need to remember to be treated as such. YAY!!!!!!

      3. Me too. I was bullied by girls most of the way through school (and went to an all girls school from age 11 to 18) so it’s like my first reaction upon meeting a new woman is to wonder if they’re going to size me up as prey.

    7. I think back to what my mom used to say: To have a friend, be a friend.

      Are you being a good friend to your acquaintances?

    8. Most of my friends are men, but I have a handful of women that I am very close with. Most of those women also find it easier to make friends with men, but also (per above) really crave female companionship. In general, we can often find the *group* dynamics of a circle of women friends to be challenging. Basically, if you completely love and value three women, but find the fourth to be a pill, you might find four women turned against you… and years later, receiving abject apologies from three of them.

      The above comments about internal sexism, being an attention whore (for lack of a better term), etc., don’t actually help. “Be friends with us, otherwise, you’re a crappy person” isn’t exactly helpful.

      1. ? This makes no sense to me. I have tons of female friends. There are no complicated group dynamics. Because we are adults who respect and value our individual relationships. What would you call assuming all women cause drama if not sexism? I don’t think anyone has said anything about being friends with us or you are a crappy person- people have shared their own experiences of relating to men differently than women because of sexism or sexuality not to shame people but to provide things to think about why this might be the case.

        2. I partially agree, in that I think group dynamics can be really complicated (but I disagree that complicated group friendships are solely the province of women).

        3. I never said that all women are drama queens, not remotely.

          What I am seeing here is a bunch of sexually competitive women who are fundamentally incapable of being actual friends with men, and therefore, project their own neuroses onto those of us who have friends of both sexes.

          If you want an example of group shaming of women who are different, read this thread.

          1. If this is what you read:

            “a bunch of sexually competitive women who are fundamentally incapable of being actual friends with men”

            That says a lot more about you than any of the comments up thread. No one remotely implied that men and women cannot be friends.

            As Godzilla so sagely put it “You nurture the friendships you feel like nurturing. If you’re noticing a trend, that’s on YOU, not every other person on the planet.” If you’re as cankerous in real life as you are on here, it’s not exactly shocking that you aren’t able to maintain friendships with other women.

          2. If you are going to call me names, don’t do it under “Anonymous.” Grab a name and own it.

            Almost every single woman on this thread (save for the very last comment about moms and sisters) have been somewhere between condescending and rude towards women who have friendships with men. You are all, by your own implicit admission, not capable of forming non-sexual relationships with men.

            That isn’t my problem.

            I have friends who are both women and men. A lot of women here have BIG problems with women who are friends with men. That’s sexual competition: you all projecting your relationships with man friends on the rest of us.

          4. Bridget, OMG. You’re the one projecting. The OP specifically asked about how to cultivate friendships with women. There are lots of insightful posts here about that.

          5. Bridget, you’re the one projecting. Yikes. Almost none of these comments have read as condescending or rude. The OP DID ask about nurturing relationships with women.

    9. I’m a little late to the party but I have a hard time forming lasting friendships with women too. I’m married, no kids, might want them and it seems like most of the women I meet are either single or mothers and then it seems like we don’t click because we don’t have much in common, but really it’s that we’re in different situations and thus easier to see?. I don’t really expect to be in the same life circumstances with my guy friends because we have other things in common. I don’t have any advice, just wanted to commiserate a bit because I’m there too.

    10. I’ve observed that women who have strong relationships with their sisters (and their mother) often are comfortable around other women. Those who haven’t had that background seem to have more of a struggle.

      Anecdotal evidence only, of course, but it is often a factor, imo.

    11. Interested to see all these replies. I have the opposite problem. Hardly any male friends but 5 super close women and 15+ good friends but only one or two men. It would be nicer to have a wider set of friends.

  2. Huge week for me professionally with a lot of client demands and a credentialing exam at the end of it. I feel like I am coming down with a cold–headache, sore neck/swollen lymph nodes. I really really cannot afford to be sick right now. I am great at drinking water and get plenty of sleep (8-9 hours/night).

    Anyone have any great suggestions for staving off a full-fledged cold?

    1. Garlic is supposed to do wonders. You can swallow a clove or make garlic soup.
      Also, I find lots of vitamins help. Maybe it’s in my head but cant hurt.

    2. I find 2 things to be helpful: 1) zicam and 2) regularly rinsing sinus out with salt water (either buying the spray, or snorting salt water from a glass over the sink).

      1. Thanks, great point. I usually neti pot if I notice congestion but it’s probably a good try w/r/t getting germs out of there from the outset.

    3. Hot water with lemon juice, honey, and ginger. Just stick all three in microwave for a minute or so. Drink every couple hours.

    4. My acupuncturist is always telling me that if I come in early enough they can help!

    5. My acupuncturist is always telling me that if I come in early enough they can help!

      1. Yes, sleep! As in, go home now and sleep. You can wake up in a few hours and check emails, call clients, etc. Then, go back to sleep.

        If you have any sleep aids, now is the time to use them.

    9. Oil of oregano.

      Upside: it works really well.

      Downside: you will smell like a pizza. I am not kidding.

    10. What a funny list of non-proven remedies.

      Sleep, and take Tylenol/ibuprofen, stay hydrated and it will help you feel better.

    11. green smoothies every morning (I didn’t sleep much the entire month of November 2015, and it kept me from getting sick)

  3. This is a perfectly nice dress, but I really don’t see it as splurge-worthy.

    1. I get the point about splurging on something that can be complicated to get right, but I’m always reluctant to splurge on something so memorable that I wouldn’t be able to wear it often. I’d rather splurge on an awesome item that is more of a basic so I can wear it a ton.

    2. I agree. I also think it could be less work appropriate depending on the person. For me I can see the v revealing too much and the length being more of a midi, which together make it better for a not too formal wedding as opposed to office, esp. with the see thru bit at the bottom.

    3. Agreed. If I’m going to splurge, I’d do it on a classic piece (Burberry trench, Chanel tweed jacket) or a magnificent gown to some fantastic ball.

  4. If requiring photo identification is a factor in voter disenfranchisement, then it seems to me that having to work on Election Day is equally an issue. We’re having a huge organizational meeting at work tomorrow. Everyone has already been told that “I had to vote” won’t be an excuse for latecomers to the early morning start. I’ll either wait in line at 5:30 am and hope not to have to leave before voting to get to work on time, or I’ll stand in line for an hour or more tomorrow night, outside and in the dark.

    Let’s make it easy and call Election Day a holiday. Yes?

    2. I’m so jealous my husband gets Election Day off every year. I normally get up and am the first person in line at my polling place. I’m glad we just had fall back though because it won’t feel like I’m getting up earlier than usual.

    3. Or just guaranteed time off. Polls in Canada are open for 12 hours. If you don’t have a free 3 hour block of time to vote in that period, your employer has to give you three hours off. So if you work 8:30 – 6:30 you would get the three hour block off during your workday. Someone who works 9-5 wouldn’t because polls are open 12 hours starting around 8/8:30 so they would have three hours to vote after work.

        1. That works for office workers but not for many professions that work a 12 hour shift – nurses, police officers, correctional officers, various hospital staff etc.

          Many European countries do the Sunday voting. Apparently years ago, the Sunday sermon basically focused on telling people how to vote and then they went directly to the polls. I don’t love that idea.

    4. So, you’ll either vote in the morning early or in the evening later. You have 2 options. Both of which are fine. Quit whining.

      1. I think I am going to wear white to vote tomorrow. Most people in my red county will not know the meaning, but it will make me happy.

        3. I don’t own a pantsuit, so I’m going to wear my bright blue wool pencil skirt. I don’t know if people in my happily blue state will get it, but I’ll be happy. I was thinking of wearing a pair of my Ivanka flats so that I could spend the day trampling the Trump name, but it will be in the 40s here so I think I need boots….

          (Bought the shoes long before his candidacy, haven’t bought more but also not going to stop wearing them because it’s damn hard to find good pointy toed flats).

        5. I am going to dress in comfy shoes b/c I will likely be standing in a long line. And pre-game / bring a flask. Just make it go away.

      1. I made it clear to my staff that if they wanted to vote first thing and the lines were insane it was OK if it took more time than they expected. In this state no time is allowed off to vote, and there is no early voting. (I also rearranged some schedules to make sure they wouldn’t interfere.)

    6. My children have off from public school in my state, so not only do I have to work, but 100% of 2-working parent families have to engineer back-up child care.

      2. +1000 I just overheard two dads with SAHW wondering why anyone would take a vacation day on election day.

      3. Not to be all “back in my day” but back in my day, school stayed open even though the schools were polling places. The public was limited to a side door and the gymnasium. No big deal. Now, having the public in schools is seen as a huge safety risk. I think they could hire a police detail to stand at the gym hallway that goes to the rest of the school and make sure no one slips in and everything would be just fine. Now get off my lawn.

        1. This is true for my current town. Tomorrow, voting is in the massive high school gym all day; school is in session.

        2. Back in my day school was closed on election day. I remember my mom taking me in the booth each year. I think I now consider voting to be more important than some of my friends do because of all of that emphasis on it. In my current town, the polling place isn’t in schools.

          Election day should definitely be a national holiday, but I think most businesses would ignore it and require people to work anyway. We have stores open on Thanksgiving for God’s sake.

        3. Unfortunately, it is a huge safety risk these days, in many ways, and the answers are not so easy. The public has access to a gymnasium generally but also hallways, bathrooms, etc. Many gyms are not easily isolated from the rest of the school? Where are kids supposed to eat or how do they get their food? Or use the restroom? What about parking? Who would pay for the police?

          1. Most large gymnasiums also have washrooms attached/inside. Most large gymnasiums have an exterior door so the public doesn’t need to be in the hallways. Whatever organization in a particular state is responsible for running the election (selecting polling locations etc) can pay for any security required. Not hard. Never even occurred to me that schools would be closed for voting until I saw the discussion here.

        4. Where I live, schools are closed but most polling places are church fellowship halls, public rec centers, or other municipal buildings. Not schools.

          If you think of how many churches have pre-schools / day cares / mothers morning out programs, it’s more surprising that they churches would open up since IMO younger children are more vulnerable than school-aged children.

        5. More schools are closed this year because many are polling sites and there is a much larger concern with regard to violence. It’s a huge hit to working parents but I see where the schools are coming from. The YMCA announced free child care all day for Election Day this year, though.

    7. I agree with you so much. Where my parents live, they vote on weekends, when most people aren’t working, or have at least a half-day free.

      People don’t need to travel for an entire day to get to a polling place anymore, and if voting is a right in the US, why do we need to punished for taking off time work to vote?

    8. Most states require time off to vote if you don’t have several contiguous hours either before or after work in which the polls are open. I’d check your state law.

    9. It sounds like you have a company problem, not necessarily an election problem.

    10. I was originally planning on going before work but since my schedule is totally flexible, maybe I’ll go mid work day just to make the line one person shorter for those that have to still get to work “on time.”

    11. 100% agree. It should be a day off or every state should have early voting for many days or easier voting by mail.

      Election day was always fun for us growing up because it was a day we got McDonald’s. Single parent worked an hour away and we went to day care before school, so voting in the morning was not an option. We would get picked up at 6pm, go to McDonald’s and then right back to school to wait in line to vote in the evening (sometimes in the cold outside) before the polls closed at 8 (or 9?) Thinking about the scores of people that work two/multiple shifts, working parents, rural voters, disabled or those who depend on help to drive places… it makes me mad. Voting is a right, not a privilege. There should be many options to vote instead of limited hours on a Tuesday in the middle of the work week!

      1. This makes sense only if you assume that the majority of our government actually wants to ensure that as many citizens as possible are able to cast a vote. Which isn’t actually true.

    12. “Everyone has already been told that “I had to vote” won’t be an excuse for latecomers to the early morning start.”

      … I’m 85% sure that’s some kind of illegal.

      1. No. It isn’t. Sorry if you want to vote – do it on your own time, how is that the company’s problem? And she isn’t saying there is NO time to vote — just that she’d rather vote in the morning and not in the dark and cold at night.

        1. There were lines here during the last presidential election that were seven hours long. Let that sink in. Then figure out how a completely inflexible work situation fits in. I think OPs employer should reconsider its policy.

        2. also, voting is a constitutionally guaranteed right. so yes, it is the company’s problem. and that is a cr@ppy place to work

    13. Yeah, I don’t understand why it’s not a voting period of a few days, including the weekend and evenings, rather than just one day.

    14. On the photo identification issue, I recently had to upgrade my drivers license to the One Card and it was a major pain.

    15. Election Day should totally be a holiday. Or better yet, every state should have early voting. My state has early voting, and something like 45% of registered voters voted early., because it’s massively more convenient to have a two week span where you can vote instead of cramming everyone in to one day…

      1. I wish all states had early voting too but I read a surprising article that voter turnout can decrease with early voting. I thought that was bizarre but the rationale was if you can do it whenever, you don’t make it a priority. People need deadlines or they keep procrastinating. With it on a set day, people plan around it and make sure they vote. When it’s a two week period they don’t schedule time to do it and keep thinking they will go when work is slow or something and never end up doing it. They book something important on election day thinking they will vote early but then they don’t and can’t vote day of either.

        The article was quoting a secretary of state defending his decision to not have early voting in his state so I’m not sure I trust the source but the reasoning made sense. I’m totally guilty of that with registering my car. Give me all month and I still don’t get it done until the 30th or 31st and if there are no appointments available those days, I’m stuck.

      2. I don’t think making Election Day a holiday solves much, at least not for people who would have the hardest time taking off. It’s a govt holiday in NY State, but how do you force employers to give you the day off? People have to work on lots of holidays – the 4th of July, Thanksgiving, MLK day. I think requiring 3 hrs to vote would be more effective, but I had no idea that was even a thing so I imagine many others don’t and some places that won’t be enough time anyway. I think the only solution is to have early voting so that people can just vote at their convenience.

        1. In NY, your employer does have to give you 2 hours of paid leave on voting day, unless you have 4 hours of time to vote off of work, outside your regularly-scheduled shift. So, if you work 9-5 and the polls are open 6am-8pm, you don’t have 4 hours off to vote, and your employer has to give you 2 hours of paid leave.

          1. (and if your employer doesn’t give you the time off, you can file a complaint with the NY State Division of Human Rights and win monetary damages for disenfranchisement, plus your employer can be fined by the sates. So that’s how you can force employers to give people time off.)

          2. In my area of NY (suburb of NYC), polls are open from 6am to 9pm, so no time off required from my 9-5 job.

        2. Exactly. I was all on the “election day should be a holiday” train until I read a post from Evil HR Lady about why it shouldn’t. Think about who gets off federal holidays: It’s usually people who don’t have trouble taking a couple hours off to vote anyway (white collar workers). The people who DO have trouble taking off (retail, fast food workers, child care workers, hospital workers, emergency workers) would still have to work, despite the federal holiday.

    16. I agree it should be a holiday. Needing time to vote aside, I can’t imagine it’s a terribly productive day with all the thoughts and talk about the election people are likely to have.

      I’m glad I’m able to work from home tomorrow and can vote whenever I want. I’m glad that even if I had to work in the office, I’d be able to leave early enough to vote before the evening lines get crazy. In 2012, which was the first time I was working full-time in an office on election day, I was lucky that the day ended at 5:30 and I was able to get to the polling place in time to vote. I’m glad my state has early voting. But I know that’s not the case for everyone, and it’s a damn shame that we still have Americans unable to make it to the polls.

      More states need to implement early voting, and companies should be flexible on hours so people can vote on election day. If you’re going to fault people for coming in late because they voted on their way to work, you need to let people leave with enough time to vote before the polls close. Everyone should be able to vote.

    17. You may have been eligible for absentee voting. If your state doesn’t require that your place of employment give you time off to vote, they almost certainly have an absentee (not early) voting law that basically allows you to vote if your shift plus commute covers the entire time the polls are open.

    19. So in 1992 I had two back-to-back business trips scheduled for election week. I signed up for an absentee ballot and used those exclusively since then as I never know if I might be out of town. Once I was in the hospital-unplanned.

      As a suggestion, which won’t help you this year, is to sign up. You can usually go to the polling place in person to drop off the ballot if you have time.

      Now where I live in Washington State, we have 100% absentee ballots-as in there are NO polling places. It works for me.

      1. Washington has polling places! Just a few, but we have them. There’s accessible voting at the train station in Pioneer Square in Seattle, for example.

        But yeah, point stands… Although mail-in ballots are a bit sad because you don’t get the excitement of voting with others, they are absolutely wonderful for turnout, enfranchisement, and the ability to think about how you’re voting.

        More states should have mail-in-voting. I think it’s just us and Oregon for now.

        2. Only three states–Washington, Colorado, Oregon–have all mail-in voting, meaning everyone is mailed a ballot (don’t have to request it) and can vote that way. 27 states offer no-excuse absentee ballots, which can then be mailed in as well.

    20. I like how we do it in the UK. Polls are open for 15 hours (7am to 10pm) and you can also register for a postal or proxy vote no questions asked.

  5. Question on Lands End fit, as I know a few people here have recommended the brand.

    Does Lands End work for broad shoulders (think swimmer) and busty?

    I was thinking of buying a flannel shirt and some cardigans, but would love some feedback first.

    1. Best bet would be to call customer service and see if you can get garment measurements.

      The brand tends to be cut more generously width-wise than mall brands (Jcrew/BR), but also runs shorter than mall brands (in seams, sleeve lengths), though LE has gotten MUCH better about offering talls (especially in shirts!)

      1. I only trust measurements so much, and have already looked then up on the LE site.

        One thing you doing always get from measurements is how it fits. For example, a shirt with a 40 inch bust can have half of that in the back, which means it didn’t fit in the bust, and has way too much fabric in back.

        Measurements also don’t tell you arm hole size/placement, which can impact fit.

      2. As a slimmer, long-torsoed person, this kind of cut drives me crazy! I do not want to look like a box. I wish there were more clothing options not shaped like boxes.

        1. Well…don’t shop at Lands End, then. I think its serving a demographic that needs/wants that type of clothing, but isn’t going to be the best for everyone.

          That said, I’ve had luck sizing down (M instead of L) and going to Talls to get the sleeve length I need. It’s really just a matter of not expecting all stores to be all things to all people.

    2. Depending on your height/proportions, you might try the Tall cardigans and shirts. I have broad shoulders and am busty (former swimmer and volleyball player) and the Talls are the only LE sizes that fit me.

    3. I am a short-torsoed long-limbed former waterpolo player, and LE’s XL’s fix my long arms (not in Talls–regulars). They are cut pretty broad in the shoulders for sweaters. I can’t ever get their dresses to fit me properly though. I agree re calling for measurements. I know all of mine, and then quickly know if other stuff fits me. Good luck.

    4. I am a former rower and current swimmer — broad shoulders, busty, smaller hips, and I love the LE ponte dresses and I have several cardigans. On the whole the brand runs large which works for me but I don’t buy Larges even though I’d often buy a large in another brand. Also I’m often between 8/10 and so with LE its safer to go with the 8. I havent gotten any button down shirts because on the whole button downs NEVER work for me and even if they fit I look like a linebacker.

  6. What are some graduate school options for someone with a Bachelor’s degree in Political Science (excluding law school)? Also is it possible for someone with this kind of background to get into a Masters program in a Geography department? Advice and suggestions appreciated. Thanks!

    1. Certainly that’s a classic degree progression. But why are you looking for graduate school options instead of looking for a career path and asking what grad school gets you there?

    2. Yes, you could turn poli sci into a geography masters – be prepared to explain in your application why it’s a natural progression for you and what you want to to do with the degree.

      Other options: public policy, public administration, MBA, statistics/data sciences…. you are not really limited by your undergrad. What kind of jobs interest you, and what are the common backgrounds of people who have them?

    3. I have a ba in area studies and went on to masters (and now phd in political science). I think geography wouldn’t be a huge transition but as unsolicited advice, if you don’t know what kind of grad school you want to go to, is it perhaps worth exploring cheaper / easier career opportunities?

    4. What career field are you in or interested in? I have a bs in poli sci and haven’t gotten a masters yet. It simply hasn’t been necessary for my career progression (I am mid-level management and make a healthy 6 figure salary). I started in government intelligence, moved to cyber intelligence, and now information security for a fortune 500 company. If I do perdue a masters, it will probably be in something computer/network security related or an MBA. If you’d asked me where I thought I’d be in 10 years when I finished undergrad, I guarantee I wouldn’t have said anything close to my job now. You need to pick a degree appropriate to your career progression. If you don’t have a job in mind that your geology masters is a prerequisite for, why are you paying the opportunity cost and actual cost to pursue it now?

    5. I’d would focus on career choice, and let that determine grad school option.

      The posters above had great suggestions on degrees, but I’d point out that life post grad school is very different for an MBA than a Geography masters (for example). You could despise one and adore the other. Just because you can get in to a masters program doesn’t mean it’s the right option… Especially given the investment.

    6. I did the Poli Sci major and of course ended up in law school, which most days I regret. Just out of curiosity, what type of job can you get with a masters in geography?

      2. There is so much cool stuff in geography these days! If I could do it again, I would seriously consider geography for grad school. The GIS work – basically combining data with maps – is ripe with all sorts of job opportunities, not just making maps. Marketers need it to figure out to target their message. Scientists need it in all sorts of applications (oil and gas for one). Transportation and school planners need it to figure out who is using services and where they are going. Not to mention the intelligence applications.

    7. I agree with the others about focusing on career choice and reverse engineering from there. That said, I got a masters in public administration and there were quite a few people in my program with poli sci backgrounds.

    8. I have a masters in geography and a ba in literature/area studies. Definitely possible to do a geog MA with a poli sci bachelors. Geog is a good discipline for job options. Even if you do human geog, it’s still seen as one of the more science-y social sciences.

    9. I agree that you should focus on what you want to do with your career and then figure out what degree it will take to get there. I have a BA in political science and an MD.

  7. London advice?

    Husband and I are thinking of a trip in February (best time for work schedules), when flights are relatively cheap and s1tes wouldn’t be as crowded. I’m assuming the weather would be similar-to-better than our usual winter here (Philly, so while we get occasional weeks of icy cold, the air is mostly hovering at or above freezing in Jan/Feb), but are there any major “cons” to traveling at that time?

    Also, we’ll probably look for an Airbnb or similar; is that the best s!te to use for London or are others more popular there?

    General advice is more than welcome too; this will be both of our first trip to London although we’ve traveled to Europe before.

    TIA!

    1. NO Cons! We went in November a couple of years ago, and had the city to ourselves. Weather will probably be warmer than Philly – highs in the low 40s and rain instead of potential snow. We went to Windsor Castle, and there were only about 12 other tourists there – we just wandered around inside without anyone bothering us. Amazing. The Tower of London and Crown Jewels were also accessed with no line, no waiting, and we were able to pause and really look at the things vs. being shuffled past. Also worth it are Westminster Abbey, St. Pauls, The Royal Mews (horses, carriages, cars) and Apsley House, residence of the Dukes of Wellington. National Gallery, National Portrait Gallery, British Museum and Victoria & Albert Museum are all wonderful If you get a clear day go up the Shard for views of the city. Shop at Liberty of London, have a very expensive snack at the food hall at Harrods, and make sure to buy enormous British candy at the duty free at Heathrow.

    2. I’ve had good luck getting flats to rent through a company called One Fine Stay – I think they started in London and are in a few cities now. Anyway, I stayed in Notting Hill through them and had a lovely place, they were responsive and easy to deal with and have booked again with them for a trip over New Years.

    3. I have a busy day but can give you a ton of London advice later. Or feel free to send me an email and I can send you some favorite restaurants etc.

      The only cons I can think of would be rainy cold weather and not as much light during the day, but thats about it! If you are willing to brave the weather you should be fine!

      1. LLY sent me the most amazing recommendations – she should publish a book on them!

    4. I went in February while I was study abroad – I think it was Valentine’s day weekend. I was coming from Spain which was much warmer but it was still warmer in London than NYC although very rainy. Good time to go if the pound stays down lol! I really loved the Tower of London so that’s a must-see if you like history.

      It could just be me. I went to TN and went to see Andrew Jackson’s house and everyone I know was confused about it.

    5. I think the major difference weather-wise is that it will probably be rainy and not snowy.

    6. I went to London in January and the weather made it a less than ideal trip. I live in a cold place too, and although London was warmer than home, at home I go from heated house to heated car to heated office. 40 degrees F is not that unpleasant when you’re spending all day inside, but it’s pretty darn miserable for walking around and sightseeing. I guess it depends on what you want to do. If you plan to see museums and then go to a nice dinner and the theatre, it could be fine. But I’m not a big museum person and I like to explore a city on foot and that was hard to do with the weather we had (it was also raining a lot).

    7. Just a word of caution that there is not much daylight at that time of year in London.

    9. Thanks all! I’m ok with chill/wet for walking around (live in the city and do most errands on foot or bike). We’d be shooting for a mix of wandering and popping into inviting bookshops and pubs, and museums/official “s1tes” so it sounds like weather won’t be a deal breaker.

  8. I made a stupid mistake at work on Friday. I fully admit it was my fault and I apologized, learned my lesson, etc. I just started this job 2 months ago today and I’m still learning.

    Since then my slightly senior coworker, who has always been cold towards me, is acting like I’m scum. I feel horrible enough already. I keep worried she’s going to try to get me fired. I just want to go home and hide, or quit. Help me not lose it at work today!

    1. I just want to say that I admire you for stepping up and owning your mistake. I know what you’re going through is awful in the moment, but please know that it WILL blow over and people will be left not with the memory of your mistake but with the knowledge of your integrity. Hold your head up, keep doing your work and doing it well, and plow through. The hardest days I’ve had at work have passed when I’ve taken them one day or even one hour at a time. You’ll get through this.

      1. Thank you so much. I really needed to hear this today. It’s been hard adjusting to this new job in general, especially since the forementioned coworker doesn’t like me (I have no idea why, I have always been polite and friendly to her). Thank you again.

    2. You will most likely be judged on your reaction to the mistake, not the actual mistake. Since you’ve already “owned” the mistake, just keep calm and carry on. DO NOT re-visit it with your co-worker, or confront her about her attitude towards you. She will have a harder time getting you fired if you are known to act in a calm, rational , adult fashion, as you have done so far.

    3. You’ve handled things well. Do not discuss it more with co-worker. And continue to kill co-worker with professionalism. Always say hello.

    4. “Since then” is less than one full work day. Any chance you’re reading more into your coworker’s reaction than is really there?

      1. I’m part of a very small team and when mistakes like this happen, everyone knows about it and it’s extensively discussed with everyone multiple times. It happened on Friday and it happened as soon as I got here at 8am today. Everyone hears about it, talks about it, goes over the problem on repeat. Like after it happened on Friday, I told my immediate supervisor, who told our other coworker, who told our manager, who discussed with our other coworker, and so on and so on. And everybody is involved in these discussions and stands around my desk talking about it. So I’m very aware of my coworker’s reaction.

        1. I’m just saying, give your coworker some time before you rush to thinking she wants you fired. If she acts like this for two weeks? Yeah, that’s a problem. Less than a day? Maybe she’s bad at controlling her reactions (which still isn’t professional, but maybe not as much of a problem).

    5. To my mind the *worst* thing a person can do at work is not making a mistake, but not acknowledging and fixing it ASAP.

      To that end, your coworker is being really wrong-headed. Mistakes are inevitable, but the best office-culture approach to them is “thanks for noticing it and bringing it up so fast! now let’s learn how to solve it and avoid it going forward.” The way she is treating you might make you less likely to quickly report a mistake, and that’s really dumb.

  9. I like this dress in an objective way, but I think I’d look incredibly frumpy in it.

  10. Exciting news – BF and I got engaged yesterday! His proposal was sudden and surprising in the moment (though he had been planning it for ages and we had talked about this being where we were going). I’m so happy and excited but I still can’t quite believe it, it’s almost like it didn’t happen. How long does it take before this sinks in (or does it ever)?

    1. Congratulations!

      I found it took saying the word “fiancé” a few times before it really started to feel real.

    2. Every time he looks at you it’s totally proposal eyes!

      Congratulations! It took me a few weeks to set in.

    4. Woo hoo!!

      I know how you feel about the unreality of it! We were engaged for six months and I never really did get used to saying “fiance!”

      If you’re having a wedding of any size, it’ll start to sink in when you start writing the checks! LOL

    5. It set in for my now ex husband and I after we called all the family and friends to tell them. We laid back on the bed, both slightly ill at the enormity of it all.

  11. My husband will be moving away for grad school for 2 years (8 hours drive, about an an hour and a half flight away) and I’ll be starting a job that requires me to travel Monday through Thursday on most weeks. We have a 3 year old dog, whom we love and will not rehome. Has anyone with a high-travel job managed having a dog at home? I’m concerned about him being lonely, even if he does get the exercise he needs. He’s a very social, affectionate dog. Alternatively, my husband could take him to grad school with him. Housing will be little more difficult, but I can’t see a reason why this wouldn’t work. Worst case scenario, my parents (whom he LOVES) can keep him for that time, but they’re about a 4 hour flight and half the country away. My dog is a rescue and needs stability, so I’d like to keep the changes for him to a minimum. Any advice?

    The other potential option is that one of my parents is considering staying with me for most of that period, although he’d still have to go home for a few weeks here and there to take care of business. We get along really well and have spent that kind of time living together on and off in recent years, so I know it’ll work out. This seems like the best option right now, and I really love having my dad around all the time anyway.

    1. Husband taking the dog seems like the right approach if he can find a dog-friendly place to live. Grad school will provide him a lot more flexibility in timing and even if you have to occasionally get a walker it’ll still be a lot cheaper than boarding.

    2. Sending the pup with your husband sounds like the best solution to me. The dog will still be with one of its parents and I’m guessing that your husband will have more flexibility to take the pup on walks.

    3. As someone who has had a dog both while in grad school and while working a travel-intensive job, I vote for having your husband take the dog to grad school with him. He will have so much more flexibility in his schedule than you will. Finding dog-friendly rental housing is definitely challenging, but it can be done.

      1. Dogs are attached to their people much more than their place. Your pup will probably be happiest with your husband, even if he has to move around a bit. (Place does matter though, our pup acted up when we moved from our small city apartment to a house in the suburbs, but she got over it within a month.)

      1. Yeah, although the more likely outcome if he stays with me is that my dad (to whom he’s also attached) will be around all the time. The only potential issue with that is that there will be weeks here or there when my dad won’t be around. It probably won’t be hard to arrange that when I’m not travelling though. I was thinking of that as my preferred option with the most stability for puppy.

        1. What about doggie default lives with DH at grad school and comes back to you for a month long visit 3 times each year. Then your dad could come to visit at those times and DH would have some doggie free time during crunch times – like last month of each semester or something.

    6. Send the dog with husband. I don’t see how a dog can live alone four days a week even if he has someone coming to feed him/let him out. Agree that dogs are much more attached to people than place.

  12. I almost always wear skirts and dresses but want to add a pair of black pants to my wardrobe. I work in academic administration (business casual most of the time.) Anyone want to go shopping for me? I am a pear blessed with substantial hips and thighs and usually wear a size 12 on the bottom. Sometimes I have to go to 14 to accommodate my thighs, and the other day I bought a pair of jeans in 10S curvy at Macy’s. One last point of information–I fear ponte will show my lumps.

    1. I’m a similar shape, and I swear by the Tahari ASL wide leg dress pants at Macy’s for work.

      They’ve got a wider leg, so I feel balanced instead of egg-shaped, and the material/cut doesn’t show lumps as long as you buy the right size – honestly, with the exception of certain very thin materials (like silk), “showing lumps” is more often the result of buying the wrong size or cut, not the material. If you’re trying on ponte pants and feeling like they’re showing lumps, you’re wearing the wrong size or cut of pants for your body.

    2. I am a pear and love my blank pants from Loft – curvy fit (I think they are called Julie). I hate shopping for pants and was prepared to go to a bunch of stores and they were the first pair I tried on!

    4. I wear black pants from Old Navy just about every day, but I’m not sure how they fit on pear shapes.

    5. MM. Lafleur has several pant options that could work. I also wear skirts and dresses almost exclusively– the one single pair of pants I own are the MML Foster pant. They are basically yoga pants for work. They are stretchy but a very thick, substantial material that doesn’t show any bumps. For a less fitted look, they have a looser trouser (Nakamura, I think it is called?) and a couple of other pants you might like.

  13. I don’t shop at The Gap often, but yesterday I popped in on a whim and ended up finding jeans that fit (which is tough with my short legs and curves) AND were on sale, and a white t-shirt that isn’t see-through! Yay!

    1. Which style did you get? I’ve had good luck with some of the bootcut styles from Gap, although I wish the pockets were a bit smaller.

      1. I got the skinny jeans, True Skinny maybe? I would have loved to get a pair of the high-waisted skinny jeans but of course they don’t make them for short women.

  14. RIP Janet Reno.

    Most people don’t know this about her: she adopted twin teenagers when their mother, a friend, died in the mid-80’s, and looked out for their older siblings, as well. Most people in politics would publicize this, but Janet kept it private. Respect.

    2. Very sad to hear about this, and that she passed away before seeing Hilary elected.

        1. ? I can’t imagine she would have enough issues that she wouldn’t have been excited to vote for the first woman to hopefully be President.

        2. Hillary Clinton murdered her, according to some Trump supporters on my facebook newsfeed.

          1. It says a lot about this election cycle that I’m not sure if you’re joking or not.

  15. No clue if anyone will have an answer, but I will ask anyhow: I’m in the market for a fake Christmas tree. What is the best brand? I need a 7.5 foot tree. I would like it to be pre-lit, and would like a dense, more realistic tree. What are the best brands? So many of the trees are sold online only so going into stores isn’t a huge help.

    2. Try Frontgate (they have a website) if you want a really high quality, fancy fake tree. Otherwise, I think Target, Walmart, Michaels, etc. all have comparable quality and reasonable prices.

    4. Balsam Hill Christmas trees are very sturdy, exceptional quality and worth the every penny!

    5. I got a Bethlehem lights tree from QVC. It’s full and dense, pre-lit, and easy to put together.

    6. We’ve been really pleased with our trees from Costco. Making sure it has a ton of lights (like 100/ft) makes it look better, IME.

    8. We got an amazing tree from Christmas Tree Market dot com. The 7.5 Sophia Springs tree, not pre-lit.

      Like someone else said, more branch tips is going to be better if you are looking for a full tree.

  16. Have a second round in-house interview tomorrow (law). They’ve asked for my salary requirements in advance of the interview. I think I have my number, but is this also when I should make any other compensation requests known?

    Secondly – what are some good second round interview questions for me to ask them? The first round was very “get to know you” / non-specifics.

    1. Absolutely. Because while you have your salary number, you don’t know theirs, and you want to introduce parameters you can negotiate/bargain around if salary is off.

      1. Any specific parameters? I haven’t done this in a long time and never in-house….

        Number of days off?
        Flex time / one work from home day a week?
        I’d love to throw out a full time number and an 80% schedule number just in case they have any interest in that sort of thing, but not sure if that is ever done / a major faux pas….?
        What else?

        1. Benefits
          Bonus
          Long term incentive plans
          Review timing
          Resources you might want – training, staff hires, etc.

        2. Bonus – specifically, is it a guaranteed bonus or is it tied to company performance and/or personal performance? Ask for a breakdown of past payout if it’s not guaranteed. If it’s tied to company performance, ask for parameters – stock price, NPS score, etc.

          Flex time/WFH – A good way to dip your toes in this is to ask “How do people in the department handle doctor’s appointments?” Usually this will lead to answers to explain WFH, flex, etc. You want to get a sense of how in control you are over your schedule and time in the office.

          Career path – is there a clear path for promotion? Are there levels for title and matching comp – associate counsel, senior counsel, AGC, VP AGC, etc.

          Review process – is there upwards review? rating systems? Stack ranking?

          Mentorship – formal, informal?

          How involved in the company in professional development/ongoing training? Is there a corporate membership to Association of Corporate counsel that you can enroll in? CLE and prof development within the company?

          1. Thanks! All good ideas; however, some of them assume a much bigger operation I think.

            To be clear, I will be the FIRST in-house lawyer for this company of approximately 200-250 employees. Financial products industry. MCOL area. I don’t know if I expect them to be at 80K or 150K for base. There’s just not much to “go by” b/c they don’t have anything existing yet.

    2. Ehhh no, unless it’s something totally out of the ordinary for your industry. Negotiate the rest at the offer stage.

    3. CHeck out the Robert Half Legal salary guide

      Also ACC has a salary guide for in-house as well.

      1. Thanks – I have checked out the Robert Half. My expected salary number would be mid-range for what Robert Half indicates is the range. I will also check out the ACC guide. Have not looked at that one.

    4. Don’t sell yourself short. Base your salary demand on the experience you bring to the table, and what the market pays for that experience. Just because you’re the first attorney for a small company doesn’t mean that they should pay less than market. Plus, if they’ve been using an outside law firm until now, they’ll be saving a ton of money when they hire their own attorney.

      Also, make sure they’ll get you a phone so that you don’t have to use yours. It may sound small, but make sure you make that part of your demand. Good luck!!

      1. In House in Texas…. I too am in Texas! I appreciate your comments. What would you say is your favorite and least favorite part of being in house? Any regrets about leaving a firm for in house life?

  17. I use and love Origins Vitazing as my day moisturizer but it is not doing it for me since it got colder out. Any recommendations for a day moisturizer with SPF in it?

    1. My understanding is (from both dermatologist and aesthetician friends) is that your best bet is to use two separate products. I really like the Shisedo sunscreen and then I use whatever moisturizer is right for the season/mood (right now I’m using Sunday Riley).

      I’ve always found the 2-1’s are less moisturizing and I’ve been told the sunscreen is less effective. If you actually care about the sunscreen, I would use two separate products.

  18. I just started working at a Big 4 and I hate talking on the phone. The way the travel works out most people travel Mon-Thurs and are in the office Friday. If I want to meet people for networking is it okay to try and push meeting on Friday rather on the phone some other time? I can talk on the phone of course, but it would be much less stressful and I would probably make a much much much better impression in person.

    1. I hate to say this, but I encourage you to work on getting comfortable talking on the phone. No matter how much travel you’re doing, this will be a big part of your job. I worked at this for years. Speakerphone makes it easier. So does making a point of using the phone to reach out to long-distance friends for catch-up chats.

      1. I mean I speak on the phone plenty, I agree speaker phone makes it more natural, literally all of my other work meetings are conference calls, I phone banked many times and I’m fine with that and people being rude or whatever – this will still go better in person.

        1. Sorry, didn’t get that your question was specific to networking. I too find networking awkward on the phone. :)

          I think most people love an excuse to be taken out to lunch on Fridays.

    2. I wouldn’t even know how to network on the phone. I’d be super annoyed if someone called me just to get to know me.

  19. Trying to get more organized financially. I do YNAB, starting to set some long term goals. I’ve got mountains of statements and trying to figure out how much I need to retain.

    Do you keep every pay stub? What about quarterly pension/retirement statements? Is there a good resource online, or what principles do you follow? Googling has not led to very helpful results, I figured the ‘rettes here would have better information. Thanks!

    1. Keep pay stubs until you get the W-2 for that year. Keep the W-2.
      Pension statements – do you also get an annual statement? Toss the quarterly when you get the annual

      IRS can audit tax return for upto the prior 3 years (unlimited, if fraud is an issue…), so keep records for at least that long.

    2. I keep tax returns (forever), insurance policies, loan terms, HOA covenants and statements I don’t have easy account access to in paper form. I also keep files of key medical information, warranty paperwork and major house repair contracts/receipts.

  20. Was in a wedding this past weekend and my hair is fried from all the hairspray. Any suggestions for quick-fix repair solutions? It’s wavy and long, and quite thick.

    1. You could do a hair mask. If you don’t want to buy one, just use olive oil. Great for extra moisture.

    3. I should be clearer– looking for hair mask suggestions or some kind of conditioning treatment. I’ve washed it plenty– the hairspray was kind of industrial and has stripped the moisture out.

    4. This may seem counterintuitive if you feel your hair is dry but you should definitely use a clarifying shampoo, followed with a super moisturizing conditioner. I bet it’s actually product build up that is making your hair feel gross and fried and not actual dryness. I recommend Neutrogena anti residue shampoo (it’s with the dandruff shampoos at the drug store) – it is amazing. I use it once every two weeks just to get all the product out of my hair and it makes it feel the same way it feels after a wash at the hairdresser.

    5. Wash with a clarifying shampoo, then coat your hair in mayo, cover with a shower cap, and le and let it sit for an hour. Rinse, and wash and condition as usual

      1. YES! Came to add this exact tip. My mom swore by this and made me do it after any big events with lots of hair trauma.

        +1,000,000

    6. If you’re looking for a specific hair mask, I like the L’Oreal Total Repair 5 Damage Erasing Balm. Bonus that it’s drug store and cheap. If you’re looking for a splurge, the Moroccan Oil Mask is really the best though.

    7. Thanks all!! Clarifying shampoo is the magic bullet, (Former) Clueless Summer. I haven’t used hairspray in years and years, and I had a feeling I wasn’t thinking of something. I actually have a bottle of the Neutrogena stuff that I use frequently.

  21. I have the 6S with UTD software. In the last 6 months or so, I noticed that I don’t get audible text message notifications while driving. No problem as a passenger. First, how does it know I’m driving? Second, where is this feature stored and can I turn it off? I don’t check messages while driving but if I don’t hear the ding, I won’t know to check it when I get to my destination.

    1. Are you using a Bluetooth connection when you are driving? There may be some sort of conflict or setting that toggles when you connect via Bluetooth. Either apple or car manufacturer online solutions may have a work-around. Badges and banners on lock screen are essential for me to remember to check msgs since my phone stays on vibrate so much

      1. I bet this is it. I have bluetooth connected which works great for incoming phone calls. If I have the radio playing though, other noises from my phone, sometimes including GPS don’t come through. I bet if I switched over to bluetooth for playing music, the notifications would come through. I’ll just get in the habit of checking my phone when I get out of the car instead. Thanks. This was driving me bonkers.

    1. These are perfect! I’ve been looking for some like this in darker colors. Do they have any signs anywhere (outside, obviously) that they are from AE?

    2. Delurking for once to say, thank you so much!!! I’m 6′ tall with a 35″ inseam, and have been looking for over a year for non-black, slim/straight pants to no avail. These look perfect and I just ordered two pairs. Thanks again!

      1. I hate to break it to you but extra long there will be too short for you. It’s 34″ per their size chart and probably shorter in reality. Their “longs” run really, really short and they don’t adjust the proportions of their clothing, so the rise will probably also be too short. AE is designed for short teens. It doesn’t compare to extra long from the Gap or other stores.

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