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Coffee Break: Archie Leather Tote

taupe leather tote bagI included this lovely Spencer tote in my classic interview outfit the other day, but this pretty taupe version is calling my name. (The name of the color is “dark mousse frosting” — yes please.) I like the fun interior lining, the multiple interior pockets, the feet, and the pretty envelope-like outside pocket. It's on sale right now — it was $428 but is currently marked to $285 (it'll go back up when the NAS ends). kate spade new york ‘spencer court – archie' leather tote (L-2)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

169 Comments

  1. I’m thinking of running for office sometime in the next 7-10 years, and I’m in a good position soon to pretty much move wherever I want. I live in DC right now, so no political future here, at least in that sense. I guess I’m wondering where I should move if this were the major/only consideration. It’s not, obviously, but we have jobs we can do in most major cities and are fairly flexible. Home is a very populous southern red state that I do love in many respects, but it wouldn’t necessarily be my first choice in terms of lifestyle. Any thoughts?

    2. What sort of office? It’s hard to move somewhere and run b/c you will have no skin in the game. And how do you raise $?

      School board?
      Historical review board?
      State rep?
      Congress?

      I’d like to be Sheriff some day (and have a legal background), but know I’m not one to run for office lest my inner Francis Underwood come out.

      1. Wrt your first statement, so I should go back home, right? And obviously I don’t think that I can just move and run immediately. I’m trying to plan as many years in advance as I can.

        1. I think in politics, even 10 years isn’t a lot of time. Ask John McCain (got carpetbagger Qs even though being a POW kept him from moving to AZ sooner). It’s a rough crowd and locals seem to love their locals. People are still calling Bernie Sanders a New Yorker.

          But if your state isn’t your color, that only matters if you are running for state-wide office. If your color matches locally, different story. My state is purple. Where my people are from, I’d never win b/c I’m on the wrong part of the ballot. Where I live now, I am also too far to the other side. 20 miles down the road, I’d probably fit right in. Maybe just move farther out in VA/MD to you get to where there are a lot of transplants and the parties line up for you. It might only be as far as Tacoma Park.

        2. Plenty of people run for office in a different state than where they grew up (most famously, perhaps, see George W. Bush). I would recommend finding a place you would enjoy living. Having/building a genuine connection with a community is an important foundation for a political run. Join civic organizations and consider volunteering for a candidate you admire. You’ll meet a lot of politically minded people who can tell you about the district and help you create a base for a campaign.

          1. See, also, Clinton, Hilary R.; Sanders, Bernie; Reagan, Ronald; Obama, Barack; McCain, John; Lincoln, Abraham.

            Given the success of Hamilton, I still think of Richard Burr as a carpetbagger. His people are from NY (as is half of Charlotte).

      1. I’d like to run for congress one day, but I know I need to start more local. And I’m generally a bit left of center but have definitely voted for Republicans before. I feel differently about that now, though so I’m pretty sure I’d be a Democrat. I’m also a person of color, so I just don’t feel like I can affiliate myself with the Republican party for the obvious reasons. Home state is also one that has potential to turn purple in my lifetime- I’m about 30 now.

        1. I don’t know about “the obvious reasons,” but I will say if you believe in conservative principles, as a woman of color, you could go very, very far in the Republican party in a large southern city. My experience is with Houston and Dallas. I am not saying to sell out to win, but I do think if you can align your principles there, it could be beneficial especially if you have connections in the area already.

          2. Hm. I grew up in Houston and have entertained the idea of moving back there off and on. I’m definitely socially liberal and that isn’t really going anywhere. The Republican principals that I could get behind are in the vein of fiscal conservatism, free enterprise, etc. But I don’t really like a lot about how I see support for those things playing out.

            The “obvious reasons” are that when I’m in that crowd I get a strong feeling of being the “other,” and it seems like others are cool with the “otherness” as long as I “act white” so to speak, and that puts me off. Plus the blatant intolerance towards others isn’t something I can get behind. I don’t necessarily think these things are an integral part of the Republican party, but I don’t like the direction things are headed. So I’m not really sure where that leaves me.

          3. Absolutely this! Come on and participate. Gates are open doors to you here.

            Anonymous at 3:01; I’m in Houston too and I agree wholeheartedly.

          4. ^ by “in that crowd” I mean at home, although since I’m from a big city I can choose my community selectively, at least in terms of how it impacts my daily life.

          5. I am an R by nature, but I think I could clean up if I switched parties and ran as a pro-defense pro-business pro-international arena classic Blue Dog / Kennedy Democrat (minus the philandering). I even send my kids to public school.

            But I’d probably lose against the whackadoodles in the D primaries in anything but a rural area (those whackadoodles always lose the general elections around here where a live R wins by default so they tend to be candidates that *could* lose to a serious qualified challenger who is a pretty conservative D).

            The primaries are where the real crazy comes out (for both parties).

          6. Democrats do well in Houston local politics when they’re doing well nationally. Also, based on predicted Texas demographics and the Republicans current anti-immigrant focus, Texas will probably start to swing more blue by around 2030 (I’ll admit there is some wishful thinking on my part).

            I think there’s an opening here for socially liberal, fiscally conservative politicians. It will be interesting to see what happens over the next several years. If the Republican party starts moving socially left, you may find you fit in there or you may want to be a pro-business democrat.

          7. Anon @3:13 Blue Dog Democrats are basically a dead breed at this point, at least on the national level. They’ve been pretty much gerrymandered out of existence.

      1. YAY! I think so too. The whole prospect terrifies me and I kind of don’t want to do it. But I think I should.

    5. Read about Kirsten Gillibrand. Moved from NYC back to roots in upstate NY to run for Congress after she used her Biglaw $ to fundraise for the Democratic party so she had support.

  2. Almost $300 and no zipper.
    The description claims there is one, but I could not see the zipper on the pictures.

    1. That’s a good point – I couldn’t find one either. I love the colour and the outside pocket though…

  3. Two things:

    1. I am done with the bralette thing. Too much macrame. What makes them pretty if I were lounging around a house that resembled an Anthro store makes them pretty impractical to wear under the clothes I actually own for the life I actually life. Team Coobie for me.

    2. Is it too much to ask a modern dishwasher to be more than that? Mine merely washes the dishes. I got one with a heating element on purpose and they are never dry (stainless, plates, etc. I expect the plastic not to be fully dry). My plumber says not to worry — they only last about 5 years these days anyway.

    1. 2. The guy who fixed the dishwasher at my last place said the same thing. For the amount of $$$ you pay, it should last longer than that!

    2. Modern dishwashers are lame. My new Bosch gets the dishes clean and dry and is super quiet, but the layout of the prongs is incredibly inefficient unless you are washing a load composed entirely of plates. It is impossible to fit in bowls, pans, etc. We end up washing a ton of stuff by hand, which totally defeats the purpose of having a dishwasher.

      1. Our new dishwasher is the same–it’s hard to fit anything but plates! So annoying. who is designing these things?

        1. I think they do it so they can advertise that the dishwasher will hold three dozen plates. And efficiency of loading is not something mentioned in Consumer Reports.

      2. I have the same issue with my Bosch. I was so excited about it when we got it, but now I miss my old 1995 dishwasher.

    3. Yeah, our brand new dishwasher gets the dishes clean but not dry at all. We have to dry things with towels or put them on a drying rack on the countertop. Dishwashers are the worst appliances.

    4. I have a new fridge, dishwaster and stove courtesy of the person I bought my apartment from. Within one month of moving in, the stove broke. And then the dishwasher broke. They were fairly easy fixes in my case, but Both repair guys told me the same thing, stuff these days only lasts 5 years. WHY IS THAT. My mom has had the same dishwasher and fridge for 25 years.

      1. The easy answer is so you buy new ones. Same reason a lot of electronics/technology is designed to last about 2 years.

      2. I specifically bought a new washing machine that has the dials, instead of electronic controls. It is also “commercial” grade. I have 3 kids.
        I paid about $1000 more but think it shoudl last longer.

        But, our appliance guy has said the same thing about all major appliances now, “expect them to last 5 years”.

      3. We have a fridge (I think it’s a frigidaire) in the family house my mom grew up in (still used by family all summer and at holidays) that is from the 1940s. Still runs. And it is BEAUTIFUL.

    5. I hear you on the dishwashers. And when the expensive ones break, it’s usually not worth the money to fix them. A plumber told me to get appliances with fewer bells and whistles and they will work longer.

      I like bralettes for hanging around the house but the anthro ones are too rich for that!

      1. Anecdata: I have a basic, basic dishwasher that has no weird prongs and is still going strong at 7 years with ZERO help from its owner and two tenants who used it who knows how.

          1. Try emailing her. If it makes you feel better, a local reporter had a front page story published and the online edition has a personal email in the middle of it complaining about her bosses. Major copy and paste fail. I hope she still has a job.

          2. Thanks. I mean I guess it’s not a big deal. If people want to try to figure out who I am, whatevs. I’ll stand behind what I’ve posted here.

            There are not a whole lot of good contact methods for this site – I couldn’t find an email?

      2. My house was built in 1960 and I still have the original gas cooktop and wall oven and they both are working just fine!

    6. One thing that consistently lowers the lifespan of dishwashers and washing machines are those infernal “pods” of detergent that are contained in some supposed biodegradable materials. Not to mention the risk of childhood poisoning, it’s best to use the old fashioned liquid or powdered detergents in these appliances. You’ll find that your machines and household plumbing last much longer. The same is true for the trendy front loading washing machines and dryers. They use more electricity to run because they are in the wash and the drying cycle, despite saving on water…

      Modernity is not always better.

      #curmudgeon

      1. I hate the pods. They all stick together. They are worse than hangers or paper clips.

      2. I can’t stand front loading washers and dryers. Who wants to bend over to do the laundry? It’s so hard on your back.

        1. Short people who have trouble reaching down to the bottom of the top load to take things out!

      3. Wait, aren’t all dryers front loading? I know they have been for at least 30 years, I wouldn’t call front loading dryers a trend. (Also, if your back is that bad, you can put the washer and dryer up on risers so you don’t have to bend over). And I know the statistics say that front loading washers use less electricity than top loaders, so not sure why you say they use more….

    7. We bought our 30 something year old house in 2004 when our son was little. The prior owners made some upgrades to sell. Twelve years later, and EVERYTHING is falling apart. Big appliances, little appliances, ceiling fans, vanity sink, outside paint job, it goes on. I just want to sell it and move into a brand new house.

      1. I have the same feeling about my house that is similar in age and renovation history. The problem is that to sell it, we’d still have to fix it up first.

    8. 1. I am team Coobie too and I also found these cheapie Hanes bras on Amazon that are great also. They have a T-Back though.

    9. My dishwasher is still running after eighteen years. I do use the detergent in pods now. I would hate to find out that they are damaging my unit. Perhaps, I will go back to powder.

    10. Refrigerators!!!!!

      I moved into a place with a fancy french door/bottom drawer refrigerator that is probably 7 years old.

      It stopped working this weekend. I called the repair guy. The electronic control board is busted. Next time the refrigerator goes out, I have to unplug the refrigerator, wait a few minutes, and plug it in again! Like it’s a computer! What the h3ll!

      The control board is a $150 part. So I could “just” replace that. Ugh.

  4. I just want to thank everyone who posted earlier this week with positive thoughts and songs to get pumped up before my interview for an in house position yesterday. The interview went really, really well. If I don’t get an offer, I’ll be disappointed, but I know I did a great job and have nothing to regret about how I performed. Thanks again!!

  5. I was too late for the morning post. Just too much going on right now! I got my NAS box last night. I’m missing one pair of boots, which I should get Friday.

    Here’s what I think:
    1. Sam Edelman Tonia Spike Rand Pointy Toe pump (in port wine suede): I ordered these in an 8W because that usually fits me better than an 8.5M. I thought the shape was less interesting than I would like. They come up a little higher on my foot than I like. I thought they looked a little frumpy IRL and the studs are just a plastic piece that is the same color as the shoe. Also, the front was a little loose, so perhaps a bit wide even for my foot. Also, the color is very purple-y. Verdict: RETURNING
    2. Louise et Cie Jayde Mary Jane Block Heel pump (shiraz suede): Initially wasn’t sure bout how I felt about the shape of the toe (it’s neither round nor pointed, maybe slightly rounded, but not an almond toe), but I love the heel and the shape and the color. They fit me really well. The suede is very soft and the strap is hard to buckle, but I’ll get over that. Verdict: KEEPING
    3. Billabong Once Again Plaid Cardigan: First of all, this isn’t a cardigan. It’s like a shirt made into the shape of a waterfall cardigan. No give at all. I thought it might be fun for casual wear. Sizing said that a large was a 12 but I decided to take a chance. Overall, it fit except being too tight in the shoulders (where I am fairly narrow). It’s also a much darker red than it appears in the picture. Verdict: RETURNING
    4. Classiques Entier v-neck merino cardigan (red cordovan): On me, this felt a little longer than I was expecting, but I like the color and the shape and I think it will work with my usual gray and black in the winter. Verdict: KEEPING

  6. Any recommendations for a hotel in Boston for a three-day visit? Budget is $200-250. We went a few years ago and stayed near Back Bay, which was very nice. We are open to a new neighborhood or a recommendation in the same area. Two 50-year-olds, no kids. Thanks!

    1. I was put up in the Envoy recently for work. (Next door to the First Circuit). I sadly didn’t get to see much of the city but the hotel was really neat and I enjoyed it.

    2. What time of year are you going and what types of things would you like to do on your trip?

      1. Forgot to say — this is the end of August. We will walk around the city and go to museums and eat. Maybe drink beer?

    3. Time of year? That budget will get you a lot of different results depending on the season or even exact weekend (college move in day/week?, homecoming weekend for any of the area universities?)

    4. Your budget is higher anyways, but I’d recommend to stay clear of 40Berkeley.

    5. Try the waterfront / North End. Hotels tend to run a bit on the expensive side, but you might find a deal. Perfect area to walk around, lots of restaurants, and you can jump on a harbor cruise if you feel so inclined.

  7. Can’t tell anyone this in real life but I’m getting to the point where I have no desire to be around moms who utter one word about their kids. If someone shows a cute pic or tells a 2 min story – I find myself holding back on saying “who cares.” No doubt it comes from some envy – at 36 and single, I know I won’t have what they have and I don’t want to hear it.

    Problem is – I work in the govt where most have families. I find myself scoffing at women we’re interviewing recently who left jobs for work life balance or colleagues who talk about picking up the kids from daycare, cooking dinner and other similar suburban home life issues. How do I get past this beyond telling myself – be quiet??

    1. I deal with this too, except in my case I have major infertility issues so it is definitely envy.

      Unfortunately I don’t have a “solution”… I honestly avoid the most egregious people who constantly talk about their kids. I recently met a new person at work and was surprised that after knowing her for weeks she mentioned having a kid. So not every single person is like this at all times. Sometimes I feel like I should start talking about my cat all the time, but no one would get the irony and everyone would think I am insane.

      Sometimes you can divert the conversation by asking people about vacation plans. Most people like to talk about vacations. Movies? The weather? I use those too.

    2. OK, I have kids and they are brutal sometimes. I think parents are just trying to make conversation with you and assume that it’s a neutral topic. (and parenting is kind of consuming in the early years and infiltrates everything, even when it’s annoying).

      I thought the same things before I had my squad. I would always try to find a way to be interested (even if it was for my own entertainment/personally being kind of mean), ask my colleagues about “the craziest thing that happened this weekend,” or about the hot Christmas present requests or their summer camp or something. Sounds weird, but that was easier for me because I was controlling the conversation.

      Other than that, think of neutral topics to lead conversations with? tv shows, favorite foods, the cleaning lady, shoes, sports, etc. etc. etc.

      And visibly enjoy the metropolitan/unattached/non-suburban life and bring that stuff up in conversation!

      1. Your “squad”? I’d roll my eyes at that if you actually talk about them that way. I guess I have no squad.

        1. Think basketball. A squad = 5 (my guess: 3 kids, 2 parents; if 5 kids: you go, girl!).

          I refer to mine as the cost centers.

        2. It’s self-deprecating.

          All the teenage/20-somethings I work with talk about their friends as “the squad.”

          Mine is just the way less cool version. I’m sure you have a squad.

        3. I find that term icky because of Taylor Swift. To me, it gives off a super clique-y vibe (when used to talk about friends moreso than kids).

    3. yes, be quiet. you come across as angry and bitter and by saying anything, you will alienate people, if not worse. you don’t have to hang out with folks who are parents if you don’t want to, but its not even a little bit unusual to talk about your kids/family.

    4. No advice but I’m right there with you. I’m 31 and single and that will probably never change. If I have to look at one more engagement ring…

      1. Ha! Right there with you.

        I’m genuinely happy for my friends, I am, but whoever said the thirties would be easier than the twenties was just lying.

    5. I find talking about “condo life” or investing or fast cars or something like that lets people know that your priorities/interests aren’t their priorities/interests (shows your high income/no kids life) and if they want to talk about your stuff, they can — if not, they can show cute pics to someone else. This is obviously for colleagues, not friends.

      1. I’ve always wanted a set of those stickers you see on minivans, but instead of a family it would have a dollar sign, a sports car, symbols for various fancy vacations, all the stuff we enjoy because we aren’t spending time and money on children.

        1. This is hilariously troll-y!

          My stickers might be a coffee mug, a book, a stick figure meditating/dancing/doing yoga, and a bursting heart for all the love and loyalty I have toward special people in my life.

        2. I have actually seen something similar (I can’t remember what, just remember thinking it was funny) My personal favorite troll-y car stickers, though, are the “0.0” stickers (instead of 13.1 and 26.2).

        3. Ooh! I’ll take a martini glass, a bicycle, an airplane (for vacations), a sports car, and a high-heeled pump! And definitely a heart!

        4. I saw one once that was the woman stick figure sticker and then approximately 15 of the cat stick figure stickers, all the way across. It made me laugh so hard.

        6. eh. we have all those fun things …. and two lovely kids. people have kids. that’s how life works. get over it.

          I talk about my kids at work or wherever because (a) they are part of my life and I like to talk to people about things in my life, and (b) kids are a common way to bond, so I talk to folks about the funny/gross/silly/smart/cute things my kids do. just like sports are a way to bond or cars or new restaurants etc

    6. I think there are many mothers out there who are aware of this and deal with the flip-side of this issue.

      I am incredibly cautious about bringing up my kids, to the point that I think I come across to some as callous and uncaring about my own children. I have pictures of my kids and their artwork in my office, but unless you ask me specifically, I will not bring them up. I know who the “safe” people are to talk about my funny stories but generally feel like it is unprofessional to talk about my kids lest I be perceived as less to committed to my job than the other AVPs who are either childless or have a stay-at-home spouse.

      1. This. I will occasionally complain about a certain headachy situation caused by my child (see: overflowing the bathtub and damaging the carpet in the next room), but beyond that, outside of a select few who I consider friends, not colleagues, I do bring them up unless asked and never show pics. Generally even those without kids have similar issues – overflowing garbage disposal, dog that ruined the carpet, upstairs neighbor that flooded their tub and ruined the ceiling. I promise you, parents just aren’t that different than non-parents.

        It if bothers you that much, change the subject – gardening (actual, not the type discussed here), movies, travel, sports or other hobbies. Or cut the convo short and walk away.

      2. I am the poster who asked about my 6-mo relationship and some people commented that I must be talking about my SO constantly and I turned off the 1 or two friends who have been distant. It’s posts like these that made me never talk about him because I feel like if you do, people get offended. Same for kids: if you talk about your kids, it’s bad- if you don’t, it’s bad. Can’t win!

        Anyone who is concerned about talking about an issue too much probably has enough self-awareness that they are not doing it too much. People are being too sensitive . I work in an office and most people have kids and I listen to them talk about it and don’t complain. It doesn’t bother me. They aren’t trying to be evil or annoying- it’s just a big part of their life.

        1. I felt kind of bad at the responses to you yesterday – but I want to at least clarify mine (I can’t speak for everyone). I think you kind of misinterpreted what (some) people were saying. You can be in the wrong without talking about your SO constantly — a lot of it comes down to if you’re being a good friend otherwise. I think several people asked if you are ACTUALLY as available for dinners as you were before, or you are pretending to yourself that you are. Or maybe your friends just assume you aren’t as available anymore, and won’t let you prove that you are. Either way talk it out!

          1. Thanks newbinlaw. I appreciate your clarification and I hear what you are saying.

        2. No one was “accusing” you of talking about him too much, as you stated yesterday. People were suggesting that there’s probably some reason other than jealousy that your friends are acting more distant. Talking about a new guy too much is a common issue – and of course no one ever THINKS their guilty of it. Maybe you’re doing that, maybe you’re not, but you should probably ASK your friends what’s going on – that’s all people were saying. Instead of listening to the actual advice, you decided to take it like an attack on your character.

          2. I never said it was an attack on my character… It was just odd to me because I had stated in my original post that I don’t talk about him much at all (and honestly reading over the years how upset people get when they hear about SOs is one reason that basically makes me never discuss his existence unless totally necessary). I guess people can second-guess that comment and think maybe I’m just not being self-aware. But that is why it felt odd to hear a whole series of complaints/comments about all of the annoying things their friends have said to them about their SO.

            I guess I could have gone into more detail in my OP about the two friends I have who have been distant- they always seem to complain about their friends new SOs so I wondered if friendships naturally fade sometimes or if I was just the next victim of that bashing. Which makes me think, why would I want to be friends with people who always find fault in other people’s dating lives anyway? And like I had clarified in a follow up comment, I’d say 85% of my friendships have not changed a lick, so I’m going to assume the majority is cool with how I am with my SO and just let the others be.

    7. This is tragic. Listening to other people talk about the people they love. So terrible.

      1. That was totally my reaction too. Personally, I’m into people talking about whatever they’re passionate about. I find it exciting. I don’t care whether what they’re passionate about happens to be their kids.

        This post made me feel the same way I did when my ex-boyfriend would complain about his family and friends wanting to see him too much. Ugh! How dare they invite you to fun outings that you have every right to refuse if you want! How dare they enjoy your company!

    8. Kindly, I hope this isn’t impacting your hiring decisions. I’m also in government and you are totally right that many people choose this field to find balance with their family time. I think you can find work buddies who don’t want to talk kids.

      1. OP here – honestly for me it does. But I’m one of 4-5 people deciding so I get outvoted and the mom isn’t hurt. I just don’t want another person in the office prattling on about how leaving big law was the best thing ever bc KIDS and work life balance. Honestly a big part of why I want to leave this job is to return to an environment where life = work and thus it won’t be as obvious to me daily what I don’t have.

        1. This response makes me think you are a troll. And I have no sympathy for you if you are real and feeling bad for yourself. You actually discriminate against women with children because they have the life you don’t (and the life you admittedly want). You’re the worst. (Also, please don’t try to argue that you’re not discriminating based on sex because you’re talking about moms in this hiring decision comment, not parents).

          Also makes me wonder if your negativity might have something to do with your lack of spouse/family.

          Yuck.

          1. +1
            Are you even real? If you’re serious about your active discrimination, you are THE WORST.

          3. Seconded. Nothing like a little illegal hiring practices to get everyone going on a Thursday…

        2. You sound actually terrible. You are making me so sad. I think you need help of some kind. Or hobbies? Or more friends? I’m not sure but something is missing to make you feel this much resentment towards women who love their kids.

        3. totally agree with all of the responses. I work in biglaw and people talk about their kids here. I think this is more of a you issue and you really shouldn’t be in a hiring position if you are dinging people for having kids. that’s all kinds of wrong.

        4. People like you are the reason why people like me “forget” to wear our rings to interviews

    9. Unfortunately this is part of living in society. People will care about things that you don’t care about, and want to talk about them anyway. I work with a guy who loves the Bruins. LOVES the Bruins. And talks to me about the Bruins for at least 5 minutes per day. What do I do? I politely ask follow up questions about the Bruins (especially if he went to a game last night – how fun!) And then try to change the subject.

      I know it’s different with kids because it is a more sensitive topic, but does it help at all to reconceptualize it as the Bruins? Bruins guy never makes me feel emotional about his love for the Bruins — I feel neutral-to-bored about the Bruins. I can still interact with him and be his work friend without wanting to pull my hair out.

    10. Maybe you aren’t hanging out with people who can tell interesting stories (that may or may not involve children).

      All sorts of people are bores. But it’s not the subjet of a story that out to make it an uninteresting story. Louis CK tells lots of kid-related stories. So does Chris Rock. Different, no?

      1. +1, although I think a lot of parents aren’t really aware that their kid is just not that cute/interesting. There are things that I think are just AMAZING and think a lot about. My dog, for example. Or a hobby or whatever. I’m not under the impression that these things are interesting to other people, so I don’t really talk about them.

    11. I know you kind of lumped these two things together: “I find myself scoffing at women we’re interviewing recently who left jobs for work life balance or colleagues who talk about picking up the kids from daycare…” but there is a big difference between interviewees and colleagues to me. Scoff at your colleagues all you want. But it’s really toxic and discriminatory to hold kids against a woman who is interviewing and I really hope you’re not doing that.

      1. Interviewees become future colleagues and I do find myself thinking whether I want one more person around who is only in it bc of good hrs and will be talking about their kids, daycare etc. I mean this stuff happens in interviews all the time – I know you’re not supposed to but sometimes ppl just dislike others for a reason having nothing to do with work ability.

        1. Yes, but when the “reason” is that they’ve indicated they have kids, that is the textbook definition of discrimination. Just because you can decline to hire (or fire) someone for no reason – and you can – doesn’t mean you can decline to hire them for a discriminatory reason.

        3. Sounds like blatant discrimination against parents to me.

          So you’re really ok with being interviewed and having the interviewer say about you: “I know you’re not supposed to but sometimes I just dislike others for a reason – age, expressed or biological gender, race, marital status, parental status, height/weight, religion – having nothing to do with work ability.” Sure we all have biases and admitting them is important when acting as an interviewer but this bothers me.

          Have you never been discriminated against because you’re a woman? Has this never given you any empathy or insight?

      2. I totally buzzed right past that. Please don’t illegally discriminate against women because your life didn’t shake out the way you thought it would.

      3. +1,000,000 … maybe think of where you work now as being a place that is good for all women. Because a place where it is toxic and discriminatory towards women with children is typically not a good place for women without children either.

        I was recruited to work at a place that specifically advertised itself as family friendly and even then, I was so embarrassed to admit I had a kid in my interview “why do you want this amazing job with flexible hours at this family friendly firm?” because it was drilled into my head at my old job that being a woman with a child was an embarrassing liability one would do best to keep as quiet and unobtrusive as possible. I’ve been here almost a year and it is still shocking to me that women openly talk about things their kids say or do.

        If you want to go work in a place like my old job, that might be an option for you if you never want to hear about children. But unfortunately, the sexist behavior of the partners extended to all women, not just women with children.

      4. Op here – responses aren’t showing up – I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t play into my mind. I don’t want any more parent colleagues. I can’t say I feel so bad about it – I mean I’m sure we’ve all been turned down by jobs for no reason that we know of – we just we’re the preferred choice. I see this the same way.

        2. No, rejecting someone for no reason or for a random reason that has nothing to do with any protected class (i.e. they wore a purple sweater and you hate purple) is totally different than rejecting someone for a discriminatory reason. You may not see any difference, but legally there is a huge difference. I hope you’re not a lawyer.

          1. This has got to be a troll. Right? Right?!? Omg if not please get me a glass of wine and a sticker for my car to match.

          2. Op here – I get what people are saying, you SHOULD not do it. But honestly how will anyone know? It’s not like I’m saying why I’m ranking one candidate a bit higher than another. Plus as I said earlier, I’m one of 4-5 ppl deciding so it’s not like I’m the final decision maker. I just don’t want to be around more parent-kid talk. Same way that in NYC a landlord will turn down a potential tenant who can pay for non specific reason – they don’t specify their reason; humans are humans they have built in preferences.

          3. No one knows if I am secretly thinking racist things or fantasizing about people dying but it makes me a bad person. This makes you a bad person

          4. LOL so your discrimination is ok because they will never know!? That’s literally what you said in this comment. Imagine if you said “it’s ok to not hire Black people because they will never know they weren’t hired because of their race.” You are The Worst.

          5. Not Anon @ 5:09, but I think the point is that being a parent isn’t a protected class. It’s still crappy decision making, but not all crappy things are illegal.

          6. I mean, the EEOC thinks discrimination against mothers doesn’t fly, so just watch out, OP.

            https://www.eeoc.gov/policy/docs/caregiving.html#unlawful

            “Employment decisions that discriminate against workers with caregiving responsibilities are prohibited by Title VII if they are based on sex or another protected characteristic, regardless of whether the employer discriminates more broadly against all members of the protected class. For example, sex discrimination against working mothers is prohibited by Title VII even if the employer does not discriminate against childless women.”

        3. Yeah that discrimination is both illegal and not cool and I would feel really weird admitting it in public if I were you.

          1. +1,000,000 I don’t want kids, I don’t always love kids, but sweet sandal wearing Jesus you are a the worst. Get therapy.

      5. “Scoffing?” Really?

        Do you scoff at people who leave early to do community service? Got any Rotary members that take the occasional long lunch for a Rotary meeting? How about people who take a leave of absence to hike the John Muir Trail or walk the Camino? Know anyone who has caretaker duties for a disabled spouse, or parents? You scoff at them too?

        You can’t be real.

    12. Sometimes colleagues ask me how my weekend was, or what I got up to. Well, I *did* take the kid to the splash pad in the park, and I *did* have my nieces over to bbq and swim (and frankly those are the more work-appropriate things I did. If I got my tattoo touched up and slammed shots with my brother-in-law? I’m not gonna bring that up). I assume because we interact and are civil and friendly, when they ask what I got up to over the weekend, they actually want to hear the answer. I feel that way when I talk to them. I don’t give a single f about 80’s punk music or whatever soccer tournament is currently happening, but if you want to tell me an interesting 2 minute story about those things while the coffee is brewing, I’m listening.

      I am going to hope that you’re an aberration, because it would be too sad to think that the friendly people I’m interacting with, who are asking me about my life, actually want to yell “who cares” at me. :-/

  9. I need to get up to speed quickly on practical application of general corporate law (buy sells, nuances of various entity formation, drag alongs/tagalongs, strategy, tax consequences of various transactions (basic, not intricate tax consequences)). (I’m practicing, not in law school). I know the terms and what they mean, but understanding how everything works together to understand (if x, then y), make meaningful suggestions/avoid mistakes.

    Any great hornbooks out there?

    1. Well, you’re asking about both general corporate law, tax and M&A. I am not clear if these are separate queries or if you are worried about entity type in relation to tax and M&A.

      For the corporate and M&A, your best bet is PLC (Practical Law Corporation) which is an online resource available both standalone and through Westlaw. They have a tax section too, but I’ve never used it.

      Bloomberg also has really great versions of basic corporate law documents (APAs, Merger agmts). If you want commentary, the ABA has (expensive) model forms for basic APAs and merger agreements. Bloomberg Law also has TONS of treatises.

      If you are trying to understand the differences between entity types, believe it or not, CTCorp has a really great little guide (you can probably find it on their website) regarding corps v. LLCs. If you want to understand tax consequences, IRS publications can be handy for understanding flow-through taxation and which box to tick at formation for LLCs.

      If you want a basic tax text, Fundamentals of Corporate Tax (8th) is pretty good (Schwarz, Lathrop). There aren’t really super-concise tax hornbooks because there’s a lot of intricacy, depending on the type of transaction. You might also want to see specific PLIs regarding tax consequences of typical corporate transactions.

      Hope this helps.

      1. Separate inquiries (somewhat related). I just switched practice groups, (worked in lit before, so I have crippling anxiety and know a little about a lot), so alarm bells sound for me when clients want to go down a certain path.

        Today’s was llc members wanting to cancel a buy-sell agreement because they’re getting older and the life insurance premiums are very high for the benefit that would be needed to fund the buy-sell. I’m seeing some control/membership issues, maybe some estate tax issues (??)

  10. reposting because I posted in the wrong spot this morning: 6 pm wedding, Smithtown, NY. invite says “cocktail attire” Can I wear the Adrianna Papel Sip and See sheath in blue? Or is that a day dress?

    3. I think it’s great! You might style it in a more “evening” way, as opposed to say, a white cotton cardigan and nude pumps.

  11. Silly question, but if you get two sizes from Rent the Runway, do you have to return them together or can you mail them back separately? I’m renting a dress to wear at a destination wedding (w/in the US) and will have to mail the dress I wear at the wedding from the destination. Just wondering if I can mail the backup size back now or if I have to also pack that dress in my luggage and return it with the one I end up wearing.

    1. They only send you one pre-labeled envelope/garment bag to return the dresses in, so unless you want to pay to send one of them back, I’d suggest just taking both. Plus, even if you paid to have one sent back at your own expense, there’s the issue of how they would track it back to you (you’d have to print out your order form or something and stick it in there). Just sounds like a major hassle.

    2. I would just call customer service and ask – they’re usually really accommodating. The only problem is that you usually only get one return bag (either the zip up reusable ship bags or a ups bag).

    3. RTR only sends you one return box/mailing slip. Your best bet is to ask RTR’s customer service.

    6. Thanks guys. I figured there was just one prepaid return envelope. I’ll just take the second dress with me, it’s not that big a deal.

  12. I am about 7 wks pregnant and thankfully not experiencing any serious nausea but I am SO HUNGRY. I’m struggling with some mild aversions (mostly proteins – meat does NOT appeal) and how to stay full.

    In normal life, I try to stick to a paleo diet (I’ve done Whole30 twice) and like it mostly because all of that protein keeps me full between meals without much snacking. Now I’m really struggling and I’m also feeling like I’m already looking not really pregnant, but kind of thick in the middle.

    Any suggestions for snacks, etc. that are relatively healthy? (I sometimes end up eating junky stuff and then feeling terrible about myself). Also, is it normal to start gaining weight this early? I thought I had a few months before dealing with that! Thanks in advance ladies!!

    1. You are growing a person. Eat when you are hungry! I ate all the time and found that my eating didn’t result in a lot of first trimester weight gain. If anything, I was also so tired that I felt like I needed good fuel to keep my strength up.

    2. Early pregnancy water retention is a real thing so don’t panic. Your fluid needs increase during pregnancy so make sure you are drinking plenty of water. Can you sub in other protein choices, preferably with some fat (eggs, nuts and nut butters, avocado with anything, cheese)? Or have lots of small snacks spread out over the day?

      1. I think this is a good suggestion, although eggs are also on my list of things making me cringe right now. Maybe yogurt… I do love avocado, so I’ll have to pick some up. Thanks!

    3. Peanut butter, cheese, yogurt, crackers. Let go of your restrictive diets and just eat food that will make you not hungry.

      1. I agree with this to some extent, but if it’s important to you, you will figure it out. I’ve been vegan for 15 years, had a vegan pregnancy, and a perfectly healthy baby. Listen to your body (of course), but don’t throw out what is important to you.

    4. Hunger >>>>> morning sickness. Load up on calcium rich food – yogurt, kefir, cheese. It’s also berry season which is a burst of hydration too. I’m also really into homemade smoothies – combining the fruit and yogurt thing. I try to incorporate tons of fibre into my pregnancy diet too – “regularity” may also be a problem soon.

    5. I ate largely paleo pre pregnancy but in the first tri it was all about the bread. Just follow your body’s cues and try not to stress – you’ll eat vegetables and meat again.

    6. Hungry beats sick, hands down. So enjoy it :)I threw up for the first 5 months and looked thick in the middle till around 7.5 months. And then gained 20+ pounds in the last few weeks :(

      i ate like a 5y/o -the food selection, not quantity. Grilled cheese, carrots and hummus, greek yogurt- all decently healthy sources of protein and non-meat. When i finally stopped throwing up, i ate everything – good,bad,junky (thinking of boxes of cupcakes).
      Eating junky isn’t ideal, but as long as that isnt ALL you eat, it’s okay. Enjoy the free pass to “crave” fun foods :):)

    7. I’m 6 weeks and just eating what my body wants and will tolerate (I DO have nausea…ugh). I’m not worrying too much at this point because the baby is so small and I’m taking prenatals, it’ll get enough vitamins. You’ll probably be able to go back to eating normally in the 2nd or third trimester, or after your pregnancy. This is a short period of time.

  13. Disclaimer: I’ve never been pregnant, but I would think you might be seeing some effects of it around 7-8 weeks (usually around 3-4 months is when I start wondering if a woman is pregnant, I’d expect it to be obvious earlier than that when it’s your own body).

  14. Can someone tell me not to panic? I’m stuck on a train and just realized my tampon had been in for 10 hours (sorry to be tmi) I should be at a bathroom within a half an hour but can someone please reassure me that I’m not going to get toxic shock and die?

        1. No offense, but this is not good advice. There is evidence that use of the cup can create an environment for TSS as a tampon can. In either case, the likelihood of contraction is very very low and requires other conditions, not the least of which is exposure to staph. And while avoiding prolonged periods of accumulation of menstrual fluid is advisable, in the event you “get stuck on a train” or something similar, you should address the situation as soon as possible and spend some time with the area unobstructed, shall we say.

          This is not something you should walk around worried about. Just educate yourself and those around you of the symptoms so you can be aware and take action early. (I specifically say those around you because disorientation is a symptom, and it may occur after you’ve suffered what you think is a flu or other illness for some period, so you may need to rely on someone else recognizing something is wrong and considering this as a possibility.)

          1. WRONG! There has literally been one reported incidence of TSS related to the use of a menstrual cup. The risk is “virtually nonexistent.”

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