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Tuesday’s TPS Report: Javanese Haven Jacket

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Lafayette 148 New York Javanese Haven JacketThis isn't the most fascinating jacket on the planet, but it's a great basic — and this is a great sale. I like the textured fabric (perfect for a blazer-as-separate), the single button, and the welt pockets. As for the color, I'd wear it with pretty much everything, including black. The blazer was $698, was then marked to $389, but through 10/30, Last Call has it marked to $272. Nice. Lafayette 148 New York Javanese Haven Jacket Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)  

Sales of note for 3/26/25:

  • Nordstrom – 15% off beauty (ends 3/30) + Nordy Club members earn 3X the points!
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale + additional 20% off + 30% off your purchase
  • Banana Republic Factory – Friends & Family Event: 50% off purchase + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 30% off tops, tees, dresses, accessories, sale styles + warm-weather styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Shorts under $30 + extra 60% off clearance + up to 60% off everything
  • M.M.LaFleur – 25% off travel favorites + use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – $64.50 spring cardigans + BOGO 50% off everything else

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

210 Comments

  1. In the picture, it looks like it would flatter someone with an X-shaped figure and an extremely high waist. Probably a lumpy mess on me.

    1. After many fails I give up on single button. The single just hits at the worst possible place. I am busty but otherwise tall and relatively straight up and down. Double for the win.

    2. I love the look of the fabric. Don’t know how it would look on but since I’m on a shopping ban i guess that’s a good think.

  2. Immediate TJ apology!

    So many years ago (at least 8?) I had purchased vneck cashmere sweaters from Nordies. They were the Nordie label. What I liked about them is that the neckline was soft and it seemed like there were no seams. the “fabric” just ended. Almost like a self-edge. They were so soft.

    Can’t find a thing like that in store now. I need a different size now.

    Thoughts? Ideally would like them to be around $100. Long sleeved.

    TIA. My own google-fu is unsuccessful so far.

    1. Have you tried Neimans? Their house brand cashmere is pretty good. If you wait until after Thanskgiving/Xmas they go down to ~$100.

    2. I saw cashmere sweaters in my latest Lands End catalog. Not sure if they have the exact style you mention, but it may be worth a look.

    3. J. Crew’s cashmere tees are similar to this style (no seam) but definitely not at $100 – and probably not worth paying whatever they are selling for. But maybe look for a long-sleeve cashmere tee style elsewhere as well.

      1. Ooh I want to try this, I need to replace my basic black v-neck sweater. Do you think this will go on sale around the holidays?

    5. I recently got a catalog for Pure cashmere and they had a number of different styles, including (I think) one that had a self-edge. I’m not familiar with the quality though – maybe other posters can comment on the brand?

      1. I have a lovely wool skirt from them. They might be owned by Boden, if so their return policy should be quite good so it might be worth a shot.

      2. Love Pure! I got a cashmere cardi last Christmas and the sweater looks very well made.

  3. I am about to start a huge work project that will mean I will be working late nights and at least one weekend day. I am scared my apartment will just become a huge disaster (I live alone) since I will not want to spend my precious time off just cleaning and then starting the week again like a robot. I think I can commit to a 15-minute task each weeknight, and then cleaning my bathroom and changing sheets on the weekend. What are your cleaning non-negotiables? Any tips for staying on top of it so it doesn’t get overwhelming on the weekend? I have tried flylady but find it all a bit overwhelming. Also – tips for what you do on the weekends to prep for a busy week are welcome! I am thinking crock pot meals are going to be my friend.

    1. I know this isn’t your question, but is your financial situation such that you can afford someone to come in and clean once every other week? It’s not dirt cheap, but it is cheaper than I thought it would be before I started talking to people about it (I pay $80 for my one bedroom in an expensive metro area), and it is bar none the best money I spend.

      1. Ditto; I found it was the BEST THING EVER.

        Otherwise, I would just pick up during the week and do the bathroom and vacuum on the weekend. Takeout may also be your friend, if you are eating at home (if at work, will they pay for dinner?).

    2. I found that when I was working like this my apartment was immaculate. I was there to sleep and to take a shower.

      Maybe a bin near the door so you can pile up the non-urgent mail (filter out any bills or anything that needs attention and trash as much of the rest as you can).

      Maybe just keep on top of your laundry and dry cleaning? I wouldn’t fault anyone who is that busy.

    3. Would something like this work for you? http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/how-to-clean-your-house-in-20-minutes-a-day-for-30-days-131142

      You could also consider getting a cleaning service just for the length of the project, and then just wipe the bathroom and kitchen sink/counter down with those Lysol wipes as needed and do dishes, put things away, etc, on a daily basis.

      In terms of weekend prep – I find chopping up vegetables on the weekend speeds things up and so does making sure I have protein portioned up and ready to go for dinners (chicken breasts sliced up and individually packaged in the freezer for grilling, chicken legs/thighs in the fridge for crockpot dinner). I keep a big tupperware of quinoa in the fridge that I cook on Sunday and make fresh salad for lunch every day, which takes about 5 minutes total. And make sure you have snacks on hand – a mix of some junk and mostly healthy (granola bars, easy to eat fruit, whatever you enjoy).

      Good luck!

    4. Everyone is going to suggest you hire a cleaner, which is not a terrible idea but may not be necessary. My personal cleaning strategy is not to clean anything that isn’t really dirty. If it’s a week since I mopped the kitchen but I haven’t spilled anything, I’ll let it go. Since my standards are medium high (I can’t stand anything really dirty, but I can live with mild dirt), the place never gets too bad.

      Simple rule: if it’s not dirty, don’t clean it.

    5. Vacuuming plus a clean bathroom are my essentials. But if you are working a lot,and live alone, how dirty will your place get in a week? If I work a lot, I don’t cook. I eat at work or order in. Saves time doing dishes, shopping, etc. The cost is worth my time not having to shop and cook. And you don’t have to break the calorie bank (if that matters to you) – I eat salads, sushi, lean chicken, etc.

    6. When I’m not home for long periods, my house is clean b/c I’m not using it. The messiest part of my house is the kitchen. With cooking and dishes, I need to wipe down counters, put dishes away, etc on a daily basis.

      I would reccomend doing one big clean before this busy period starts so you start with a good base. My biggest thing for clutter, etc is making sure to have a place for everything. Hamper/basket for dirtly clothes. A single place for mail. Keep your purse/keys/cell phone in the same place.

      I vacuum, clean bathrooms and do laundry once a week. The vacumming and bathrooms take about hour. Laundry is an all day thing, but I can do other stuff while the clothes are in the washer or dryer.

    7. vacuuming and clean sheets are my non-negotiables. Honestly I probably clean once every 2 weeks, but if I haven’t been home much I’ll let it go longer. I usually vacuum on a weekly basis cause I have a dog. I would definitely cook crock pot meals 2 times a week that you can stretch out over the week. You probably don’t want to cook dinner once you get home.

    8. While all of my towels are in the wash (including the bathroom rug), I mop the bathroom floor. I vacuum the rugs in my bedroom and my cat’s steps (she’s black and they’re ivory). Dust whatever is really dusty so I can throw the microcloths in with towels. Sometimes I just spray cleaner in the bathtub while I’m doing other things in the bathroom or wipe around the tub before I get in the shower. I have a dish pan and I put all dishes in it unless they need to soak.

      Also, could you freeze smaller portions of meals now?

      I throw out junk mail as soon as I walk in the door and never leave anything on the table. Bills go on my stairs to go upstairs to pay. Keeping things picked up rather than dumping them because you’re tired actually will make you feel less stressed. Picked up and organized just looks cleaner.

    9. Set up recurring calendar meetings in your personal email/phone with your weekday task. That way you don’t have to think. Say 10pm every evening.

      For example:
      Mon: sweep/vacuum floor
      Tues: pick up laundry lying around the place
      Wed: drop laundry off at laundromat (laundry is the biggest time suck imo)
      Thurs: scrub toilet and wipe off bathroom mirror and counter
      Fri: luxuriate in Netflix
      Sat/Sun: clean bathroom floor and scrub tub, grocery shopping, prepare huge@$$ casserole/lasagna for lunch and dinner

      Of course, there’s doing the dishes. I don’t know if you have a dishwasher or not but either load the dishes and run it weekly or just get disposable eatery. Sundays/Mondays when I cook a ridiculous amount of food, I pack it into meal size tupperware as soon as it cools down so that I don’t have to think about lunch or dinner.

    10. OP here. Agreed that it probably will not get super dirty, per se, since I will not be eating at home much. I just want to be sure I stay ahead of clutter since I will be tempted to come home, drop stuff on the floor, and collapse on my couch. I like the big bin idea to contain stuff that can be put away on the weekend, and just rotate the big chores. I’d love to hire a housecleaner but my apartment is already a bit cluttered and will need a huge chunk of time to clear space to make it worth it (work has already been nuts, though it has not been requiring weekends yet). If I can get to it this weekend I might consider – otherwise I will just need to get over this hump for the next few months.

      1. I have a housekeeper and didn’t declutter at all for her. Sure, she’s not getting every single surface spotless like she could if I had everything picked up, but she can get the bathroom and kitchen spotless and vacuum and that makes a huge difference for me. If that’s all that’s holding you back, I’d go for it.

      2. Make sure you put your clothes away on a nightly basis. It takes 2 minutes but when I get busy at work, I end up just dumping my clothes on one half of my bed and by the end of the week, it gets overwhelming. For me, that’s really the only clutter that accumulates if I’m not eating at home. When things are neat and put away, I feel so much better.

        1. Agreed. I hang up my clothes and change as soon as I get home. I have a cotton lined wicker basket for my at-home clothes that don’t end up being put away.

          1. Love this idea — my at-home clothes are the ones that end up on the bed or on the floor or at best hanging off hooks on the back of the door, since they don’t belong in the laundry but also don’t really make sense to hang with my nice clothes every day. A basket sounds like a great solution.

    11. Foodwise, consider making a few zitibakes/ lasagnas and freezing individual portions. Probably would get boring if you ate it every night, but during evenings when you’re just exhausted they could be great.

    12. My must-do’s are dishes every night (but this might not be an issue if you’re eating at the office) and sorting mail right when it comes in the door to keep clutter at bay. Also, I have a few magazine subscriptions and right when the new one comes I get rid of the previous month’s issue.

      If I know I’ve got a really busy time period coming up, I try to get a bunch of the major stuff done the week before: dry cleaning, vaccuuming, wash the sheets, deep-clean the bathroom. That way I don’t feel so anxious about the minor cleaning things that have to get put off for a while. Also, like Sparrow mentioned, if you’re going to be away from your apartment a lot it’s probably going to stay pretty clean.

    13. On the food side, once a week I prep food to get me through the week. I usually cook a large serving of a grain like quinoa that can take on different flavors (e.g pesto, marinara, Parmesan, feta), and cut fruits and vegetables. I don’t like meat sitting in the fridge too long so buy chicken and fish that are frozen in individual portions then thaw a piece at a time in the fridge.

  4. Does anyone have this? I like it more than the 1035 jacket because it is shorter. But with the 3/4 sleeves, maybe it is a warm weather jacket (so it would make a good spring / summer suit in the light gray pinstripe — it wouldn’t be my primary suit, but a better business-casual investment since I’m trying to stay on the business end of the spectrum)? I am leaning towards it, but want to get some feedback since it is a lot of $ and where I live will be getting very cold within the month if this isn’t a 4-season piece.

    1. I replied in the weekend thread, but I love this jacket. It is sleek and modern. However with it being 3/4 sleeves, its hard for me to see it being a 4-season piece. I do get a lot of wear out of mine (I have black and light grey) outside of wearing it with the full suit though!

  5. Can someone link me to The Blouse from Aritzia – I saw some of you guys talking about how awesome it is in another thread, but I’m not sure which blouse exactly it is.

    TO lawyer?
    Equity’s Darling?
    Others?

      1. I have a couple of Bergens, they’re quite versatile. I don’t know if I’d call them “The Shirt”, because I’m more of a sweater girl (Tippi sweaters are pretty much my uniform), but I could see that being the shirt TO Lawyer was referring to. Aritzia has a lot of blouses that are sort of simliar, and I find that trying a bunch on in the store is the safest bet for me, but the Bergen has obviously made the cut a few times when shirt shopping.

        I don’t like it untucked on me (a little too billowy), but tucked into a pencil skirt, or under a sheath, it’s great.

      1. Darn, that’s totally lovely. I may have to stop into Aritzia and try it on… Is it very blousy or more slim-fit?

        1. I size down because I like a more sleek look to tuck into skirts but I’m also fairly petite up top. It’s fairly blousy but not overly so I would say?

        3. Thanks ladies. I’ll try it tucked in – generally I find the blousy, silky tops don’t suit my figure, as much as they look lovely on other people.

          1. I don’t wear it untucked very often (usually only with skinny jeans if I’m trying to balance the proportions) but I find it looks lovely tucked into a pencil skirt, as it drapes nicely.

            Ok I should now stop shilling for aritzia and go back to my real job.

      2. I have this one too and also really like it. But it’s sheer so you need to wear a camisole underneath. I like the ones from aritzia (yes a significant portion of my wardrobe is from aritzia)

        1. Yes, agreed – somehow I’ve picked up a few patterned ones (snakeskin, leopard print) that have been alright to wear without a camisole, but usually they do require one. But are so pretty!

    4. Also, Aritzia has a frustrating habit of separating different colours of the same blouse into different listings on their site, so make sure if you’re looking to actually search the name to get all the colours available.

    6. Thanks ladies. There is actually a lot on the Aritzia website that is nice…for some reason I thought they only sold expensive coats and long sweatshirts for 18 year olds! (Maybe this is just me remembering how everyone but me had TNA stuff in undergrad…)

      1. Do the arms run long on these, or “normal” (inquiring monkey-armed gal needs to know). I’ve never heard of this brand, but their stuff is gorgeous!

        2. I don’t know how normal they are but for reference, the Tippi sweaters are probably 3/4 length on me and the Bergen blouse hits my wrist. Hope that helps!

          Also yes I remember Aritzia only selling TNA stuff and thinking it was SO overpriced when I was in undergrad but I have been impressed by the quality on their silks.

    7. FYI, in general as someone who is ample of hip, I find that Aritzia’s blouses are cut too narrow for me in the hip to comfortably wear untucked. But if tucked in and bloused out a bit, they are fine.

  6. Fun idea. Let’s do a “this site” tacky gift trade after the holidays where we pass along any gift that we don’t really want that someone else might love. Yesterday someone posted about moose pj’s and a few people said “I want those!” Same for the meowing cat clock LOL. We can all post the tacky gifts we would like to part with and other posters can claim them.

    1. Yes! Now I’m really hoping for a terrible gift so I can post it. I’ve gotten some truly awful Christmas gifts over the years from a somewhat hostile sister-in-law, and I am keeping my fingers crossed for something of that caliber that I can pass on.

    4. What I love about this is it gives the perfect out when you have a relative that asks about the gift. My mom would be fine with me saying “my friend loved it so much and would use it so much more than me so I let her have it. It really made her day.” My mom would just want to hear that someone was loving her crazy find. It also doesn’t imply that I didn’t like it, just that someone loved it “more than me.”

  7. Hi – I got a $50 lands end gift card and am at a bit of a loss. I’d love to get something I can wear to work (dress, skirt, sweater . . .) and am happy to buy something over that amount. I just don’t buy lands end (I tend to shop banana republic, j crew etc.) and everything is looking a bit aging to me. Any suggestions?

      2. I got the sleeveless one with the pockets and love it. They also have GREAT cashmere, if you can find a style you like. I just got the cashmere tee and want it in every color. More like a thin sweater than tee, fyi. Runs large, too.

    2. If you need a coat of any sort (either casual/sporty or wool), I would highly highly recommend Lands End. Their coats are excellent quality, have great features (fleece lined cuffs and pockets, that type of thing) and are reasonably priced. They always have nice down puffers, if you need a legitimately cold weather coat and they have some lovely luxe wool coats as well. Definitely the best buy from LE is outerwear, imo. Otherwise, I have heard good things from other r3ttes about the ponte knit dresses! Just likely size down from J. Crew/BR sizes.

      1. +1 to their coats. I got a wool overcoat from there last fall that ended up being much cheaper than the Lady Day (and is probably warmer, too), and I get lots of compliments on it.

      2. I have a down puffer coat (aka my “sleeping bag” coat”) from LE from when I used to commute by train (let’s hear it for the Jamaica platform in February!). It’s the warmest coat I’ve ever had. It has nice fleece cuffs to keep out the wind, the down was quality and it’s held up for several rough seasons.

    4. Their tights are the best. I know some of the reviews are negative, but they last forever.

      1. They are good! I can’t stand the control top ones but the plain ones are perfect and do last ages.

    5. Their cashmere wears like iron (but is soft!). I have some sweaters that are at least 7 years old. I life in their cashmere Ts in the winter (and their regular t-shirts are great). Agree with the comments re sizing down.

    6. Even though you are looking for clothing, I’d also recommend their tote bags (both the casual and work-appropriate styles).

    7. Yep, I too like their ponte knit dresses. I have the sheath and the a-line (not sure of the exact name). I’m petite and I find those sizes run a bit large so I usually size down.

      I also have one of their down jackets, which is great for winter. I get cold very easily but that jacket always keeps me warm.

      It’s getting to be colder now, but I love their swimwear.

    8. Their canvas line is skewed towards a more modern fit. A lot of it is casual but theres some pieces you could always dress up

    9. Try items from their “Canvas” line. It was bigger in past years, but seems to have been pared down. I think their sweaters are fabulous — many of them are more j.crew in styling than traditional LE, but they are very good quality for the price.

    10. Cashmere – Have not had the pilling problem that I’ve had with other brands
      Outerwear – Nice wool and down coats
      Hats/Gloves/Scarf – nice wool/cashemere options
      Canvas – They have mixed the Canvas line of items in with the rest of the selection (it used to be a seperate tab), but those tend to run younger in style, more on par with Jcrew or BR. The sizing remains comparable to the regular Lands End stuff, though.

    13. Their down coats are very warm if you are in need of that sort of thing. And if you haven’t checked out Lands’ End Canvas yet, I would–their style and fit is closer to BR than the regular Lands’ End line.

  8. Random poll — what time does everyone eat Thanksgiving dinner? We always had ours around 2:00pm, but a friend tells me that’s a New England (or at least northeastern) custom. Is it? Or do most people eat around mid-afternoon (as opposed to at dinnertime, like 6:00 or 7:00). We also eat Christmas dinner around the same time, and, if we’re having a big meal for Easter, it’s also an afternoon thing.

    1. New England too and 2 pm. This is in part due to shuttling elderly relatives to and from dinner.

    3. I’m in the midwest. We usually gather around noon and eat around 1 PM. Then we hang out all day and will have leftovers and make cocktails for dinner. It’s usually an all day, but relaxed and casual event in my family. Same thing with Christmas.

    4. In the way south. We eat early to mid-afternoon for Thanksgiving and Christmas day. There is generally way too much prep work to get a meal on the table at noon. Christmas Eve is done in the evening.

    5. When it’s ready, no firm plan in place. But there are only 5 of us and no travelling.

      1. This is our family too. We tell everyone to show up around noon, but there are some stragglers that arrive closer to 2pm and we end up eating sometime after that :)

    6. PA and we always eat at 1pm for thanksgiving/Christmas. I would prefer to eat at actual dinner time because then my mom wouldn’t have to get up at like 1am to put in the turkey (we have to do like a 26lb turkey for all the people coming over). Plus we eat late breakfast on Christmas morning, so eating again at 1pm isn’t really great. This year I have to do 1pm at my boyfriend’s family, and then dinner with my parents (we canceled our big thanksgiving! yay!)

    7. people arrive and antipasto usually starts around 2. The actual Turkey part is probably closer to 5, but eating is more of a marathon.

      1. +1.

        Holidays in my family are an eating marathon that starts with out of control amounts of finger food when everyone arrives around 1:00 ish. It’s pretty much constant grazing until the meal is done…usually around 3….and then desserts. We are usually up late visiting, so there’s always more eating when people get hungry later in the evening.

    8. Ours is more governed by availability than tradition. On Thanksgiving, my friend’s SO is usually working so we’ve had dinner at around 5 or 6. That suits me fine because I don’t have to start cooking early. She comes over a bit early to help with finishing the cooking, then he arrives from work for dinner.

      I’m singing on Christmas eve so we eat between services. Christmas is brunch. I don’t bother with dinner. When I hosted Easter dinners, we had dinner at dinner time (or 5:00 or so) because we were singing from 8 to noon and have a big breakfast between services. But that’s so me-specific and I have no family here and holidays for me are work days (at church, not my day job).

    10. Greater NY area. If the DH and I host, it’s at 5pm. Even though we’d prefer eating at 7:30pm, actually.

      If my parents host, it’s at 2pm, because they really are morning lark types and hate eating late. I also think it’s because they are worried that we’ll be run over by “legions of drunk drivers who are also sleepy from a huge Thanksgiving meal” if we try to drive home in the dark. It’s sweet of my parents to worry about us in this way. :-)

    11. Yay! This is fun. I normally go home and everyone START’s eateing as soon as we get there (about NOON). Mom bakes alot of nibbeling stuff, includeing potatoe’ pancake’s and finger food, but we do NOT sit down to a formal dinner until 3 b/c the kid’s are running around and everyone has to see dad’s new nicknack’s that he gets from his old military buddies that he keep’s in the GARAGE. So at 3, we start by sitteing down to dinner, and Mom has a 30 pound turkey cookeing all day, and dad carve’s it. Ed wanted to do that, but dad said NOT IN MY HOUSE, ED. So we eat from 3 until about 5, and then dad put’s on the basketball game (or football, I forget), and we all sit for an hour or two and then mom bring’s out the cake’s about 7 and we eat them with coffee until mabye 8:30, (I like the chocolate cake and the cheezecake’s she bake’s) and then Ed says he need’s to “hit the road” and then Rosa pack’s up the kids and they are off to Chapaqua.

      I get to stay over b/c I do NOT want to be in the City on Friday — there are alot of sales at Rosevelt Field that mom goe’s to and dad grumbles b/c he knows that mom is goieng to spend alot of money.

      Willem has been talkeing about inviteing me to go with him to his family’s house for the holiday’s but that is to soon. His family lives in Bellgum! If I went there I wonder if they would think that we were a couple? FOOEY! It is to early for that, but I do want the $50,000 from Grandma Leyeh, tho not necesarily from Willem. Dad would NOT be happy. YAY!

    12. Southern here, we always had Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day meals in 1-3pm range (brunch-ish). Christmas Eve was always done at night.

    13. We’re in the south, but my family is from NJ, and we usually eat a little earlier than normal for dinner, around 4-5ish. My husband’s family is the same. We usually have snacky/appetizer type things around lunchtime. I’ve noticed that most people I know around this area seem to eat the dinner at more like lunch time, though, which I’ve never really understood.

    14. We are in CA and eat around 7. Growing up on the East Coast, dinner started around 4-5.

    15. I’m in the south. When I was growing up, my mom always did Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner around 4.

      Now for Thanksgiving we go to my MIL’s house in the morning and eat around 1, then go to my FIL’s house for dinner and eat around 6.

      For Christmas we eat Christmas Eve dinner with MIL and immediate family, have Christmas morning/ breakfast with FIL and immediate family, and have lunch with MIL’s extended family around 1. FIL’s family gave up on Christmas dinner and now just put out a buffet of cheese, appetizers, etc. around dinner time.

      Does anyone else have these crazy multi-family holiday marathons?

    16. Midwest. Mid afternoon (2/3-ish) if we are with my family. Closer to late afternoon/early eving if with Mr. gov anon’s family.

    17. Back when life was simple (only one house to visit) we ate at 3pm. Now that we have to try and eat multiple places we do an early lunch (11:30 or so) and a later dinner (around 7).

    18. Mid-atlantic here and our holiday meals are in the 2-4 pm range. Like someone else said, we gather around noon/1 pm and have hor d’oeurves, etc. But the sit down meal happens at 2-4 pm depending on who is hosting.

    19. My family does the dreaded 2pm-3pm lunner which means I’m hungry by noon and then again at 8. But the only element of the meal I like is pie so ymmv.

    20. California/West Coast. Growing up, we usually had Thanksgiving dinner around dinner time, but now that we do Thanksgiving with my husband, we tend to eat around 2-3pm, and it is an all day marathon :) It does depend on what time the 25 of us all show up. For Christmas, we celebrate with my parents and usually do a late breakfast/brunch and then an earlyish dinner around 5 so it is still spaced out nicely.

    22. Midwest – we eat around 2:00 p.m. on Thanksgiving and 5:00 p.m. on Christmas Day. I think the earlier Thanksgiving time is to accommodate football and the aforementioned elderly relative shuttling.

    23. If it’s with my family (very small group), 1 pm for both – English so that’s the tradition (and no Thanksgiving!). If it’s Thanksgiving with my SO’s family (PA) it’s some time late afternoon, 4-5 ish, and involves extended family so 2 turkeys. Christmas in Fla. without parents (they usually head to CA to visit my sister) involves brunch with friends at one house, and dinner with friends at another. Brunch is drop-in; dinner is whenever the main course is ready – usually around 9 pm. Out on the boat or at the beach in between the two. And if I have to do Noche Buena, that’s a 10 pm meal.

    24. I live in Hawaii, and we eat Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners around 7 or 8 pm. We like to sleep in on a day off, even if it is a holiday. I am shocked, amazed, and impressed that so many eat at 2:00 pm. That’s lunch time for us, and about when we begin preparing for the holiday meal. I myself have no living extended family (my mother and her five sisters all died of metastatic breast cancer quite young — I now have it and am scheduled for a double mastectomy in two weeks) and my husband’s parents live on the mainland. In short, we have no elders to worry about.

      Last Christmas we had fresh lobster, sashimi and sushi for dinner — best ever. But it was really hard to watch the lobsters die. . .not enough for me to turn vegan, but I felt guilty. It was, however, the sweetest lobster I’ve ever had, in fact I didn’t know lobster could be so delicious.

      1. OG Lawyer – I hope you see this reply. I’ve seen your posts before and I’m sorry to hear of your BC diagnosis. I want to send healing vibes your way and hope the island breeze blows in good luck. Let us know how it goes.

        1. Mahalo.

          Truth is, I’m terrified. I’m also lucky because although I have cancer in both breasts, it has not metastasized. It’s Class I, but I have the BRAC gene, and both breasts, including headlights, will be entirely removed. Plastic surgeon will put in tissue expander under my muscle and start the long process of opening a spot to insert implants. He says it should take about 3 months to make a space large enough for implants, and then another surgery to make new headlights via tissue from “down there.” I don’t know all the details on this last part; I’ll wait until I’m ready to absorb.

          But mahalo for your concern. The closer I get to surgery date the shakier my hands get. And, yes, the island breeze will most definitely bring me good luck.

          1. OG Lawyer – that sounds like a big journey. If I can help you in any way, email me at happypeanut at comcast dot net.

    1. Smaller than J Crew, particularly in the bust. Also, the short dresses are SHORT, kind of like Forever 21.

      1. Completely agree about the shortness. I’m short and their short dresses are often too short for me. (Well above the knee, so not OK for my workplace.)

  10. I have been on the hunt for my first pair of “nice jeans”. Right now most of my jeans are from Express/Gap/Levi and even my favorites I have to belt tightly in the waist becuase they always gap. My other big complaint is that most of my jeans (Express is the biggest offender) will get stretched out by the end of the day and start to sag- UGH.

    Ideal pair would be dark, midrise, somewhat stretchy and skinny on the bottom (could tuck into boots or wear with heels).Any ideas of where to look? My budget is $150-$200 and I would prefer to try on in person.

    Thanks!

    4. Paige, JBrand, and Joe’s are my favorite. I would suggest going to a nice department store like Nordstrom’s and trying a bunch on.

    5. Set up an appt with a personal shopper at Nordstrom and have them help you try on all of the different brands. You can also do it with a regular sales associate. They should be able to help you identify what styles will fit your body type, and you should be able to buy a pair in that price range.

    6. Same waist gap problem and I get NYDJ. The name is offputting, but they fit me very well. Kut from the Kloth is also worth a try. FWIW, a Nordstrom credit card which gives $100 worth of free alterations every year – which can cover taking in quite a few pairs of jeans. Possibly other stores do this too but I’m not aware of them.

    7. It was somewhat unexpected, but I have been impressed by the quality of Kut from the Kloth. I purchased my pairs at Nordstrom.

    8. Thank you all! Now I am very excited to go shopping this weekend. Good thing I live near the MOA because I can probably find all of these in one place.

      xo

    9. Where to shop really depends on your body shape. Judging from the gap in the waist comment, you’re probably relatively curvy. My favorites for curves are Joe’s Jeans – Honey Bootcut and the Lucky Brand Sofia cut. I’ve found both online and at my local TJ Ma xx for around $70/pair and then spent the $ to hem and tailor them for a perfect fit.

      As an aside, get the waist taken in on jeans is a very easy/cheap alteration on your existing pairs. Like $10-15/pair in my area.

    11. Have you tried Levi’s bold or supreme curve options? I have a gap also and the supreme curve works for me.

  11. Relationship threadjack.

    I have been dating my SO for 1.5 years. He is 32 and I am 27, and we are both established in our careers (programmer and attorney). We have a great relationship and see each other daily. Our relationship is great in every way but one: he has no idea if he wants to marry me. He knows that he wants to get married and have children, but he does not have a timeline. I first broached the topic 6 months ago, and he said that he had not given it any thought. I promised to give him some time to think on it, and I did. To this day, he still has no idea.

    I am so frustrated with the situation because I don’t want to spend the next 5 years waiting for him to finally come around (or never come around at all). I obviously cannot force him to decide what he wants, but I feel like I am in relationship limbo. I have trouble understanding why he can’t figure it out, and I am to the point where I feel like it must be one of two things, either (1) I’m not “the one;” or (2) it isn’t important enough that he wants to think about it. Am I missing something? Am I unreasonable in thinking that he should know where the relationship is going by this stage?

    1. I think this is never really about whether one of both of you is being unreasonable, it’s about what you can work with. For me, his answer doesn’t work. A year and a half and he’s not sure? At all? I can see not being ready to make the commitment, but at that point in a relationship if he’s never thought about it and isn’t willing to seriously engage with the idea when asked, we clearly approach life in very different and, for me, incompatible ways.

      I look at marriage readiness in two ways: 1.) ready for marriage, 2.) ready for me. I cam be patient with 1 (finances, more time enjoying dating, reluctance to be the first in a friend group to tie the knot, family issues to work through) but 2 (whether you love me and want to build a life with me) is non-negotiable. I like planning, I want someone who is okay with that.

      1. Agree wholeheartedly with this. FWIW, my DH and I dated for about 10 years before getting married (we started dating when we were 21), and I was perfectly fine with it. He was ready to get married before I was, but both of us had the same level of commitment to each other and it was just a matter of being ready.

      2. Completely agree. It’s not what is reasonable, it’s what you want. You can’t make him be ready or start thinking about it, even if he is 32 and established in his career. Maybe he’ll wake up tomorrow and want to marry you but maybe you’ll date for the next 5 years and then he’ll tell you he’s just not that into you. Either you’re willing to wait around and see what happens or you’re not. It’s not about him, it’s about you.

    2. No, you’re not being unreasonable, 1.5 years is plenty of time for a 31/32-year-old to have a good idea of where a relationship is headed. The two alternatives you stated for why he doesn’t know seem like the only two alternatives to me, too. When you spoke six months ago, did you explain to him clearly that having an idea of where the relationship is going is important to you? When you broached the topic more recently, had he still not thought about it, or is it that he considered it and still doesn’t know?

      If you told him it was important to you to figure this out and he didn’t bother to think about it, that’s pretty insulting and says he doesn’t care about your thoughts and feelings. If he did think about it and says he still doesn’t know, that sounds like he isn’t going to want to marry you, but doens’t want to say that because he’s happy to date you for a while.

      The only way this situation would make sense to me is if you didn’t make clear to him six months ago that you want to have some idea of where the relationship is going. In that case, if he’s happy with the way things are, I can see how he wouldn’t put a priority on figuring it out. Otherwise, excuses or whatnot are nonsense. 32 is old enough to know your own mind, unless he’s intentionally trying to stay in some kind of extended adolesence.

      1. I agree with Eleanor. At 32, I think it is perfectly reasonable to expect a person can know if they could see themselves marrying you in a year and a half. If he can’t see it, he either isn’t really that interested in getting married at all, or isn’t interested in getting married to you, and is too afraid to tell you because he knows that you will leave. You need to decide if you are willing to wait for him to figure it out, or get out of the relationship and spend time finding someone else who is interested in marrying you.

    3. I totally get why you’re feeling anxious and frustrated, but try to remember that you have some control over the situation. Have you asked why he hasn’t really thought about it? Say to him what you said here, that you’re having trouble understanding his reluctance. And you don’t have to wait around for the next five years. If he says he still needs time to think it over, you still get to decide whether that’s ok with you and how long you’re willing to give him. Good luck — I know this isn’t easy.

    4. 1.5 years isn’t that long, but in 6 months, how would he feel if you started dating other people? Relieved? Devastated? Sad to lose a fun and easy thing (but in an enjoying the milk-for-free aspect)?

      If it gets to 2 years and someone has “no idea” if they want to marry me, then that means he doesn’t want to marry me and I’d move on. Moving on may hit him like a lightening bolt (or a wave of relief), but I don’t think you will be in the relationship you want to have by hoping that someday this will morph into that.

      Conversely, if you want to marry him, why don’t you propose?

      1. On the last point here, I often find myself thinking the same thing, especially because this exact scenario comes up so often. When you’re sure you want to marry somebody, propose? If he says yes, you’ve gotten what you want, and if he says no, you can move on with a clear mind. I know a lot of women would feel like they’d be backing the guy into marriage by doing this, but honestly I think that happens all the time even when he has done the whole 9 with getting a ring and staging a surprise proposal, etc. Overall I just wish we were able to be more decisive and direct, risks and all, in such situations.

    5. I was with a dude for about a year and we would talk about marriage a lot. He would say he wanted to get married and eventually I got fed up and asked if he wanted to marry me. He would say yes and then bring up challenges to getting married. It took me way too long to realize that he did not want to marry me and that he also wasn’t ready for marriage. I cut myself loose and have been much happier for it.

    6. He knows he wants to get married but he doesn’t know if he wants to get married to you. This is going to be hard, but you have to have a conversation with him and if he’s still not sure that you’re the one, move on. You’re young and fabulous and don’t need to be tied down by someone who isn’t sure about you. Sorry, tough advice but I think it is correct.

  12. Early TJ (hey, I managed to get on here before 3pm eastern time!)…

    Tomorrow I’ll be attending an all-day meeting (they’re calling it a summit) with five or six members of the executive team at my company, plus ten-fifteen others in roles at or slightly above my level. Afterwards, all of the summit attendees are going to a sports event. What should I wear?

    I was thinking skinny jeans, boots, nice tshirt, and a blazer. Normally for a meeting like this, and generally every day at the office, I’d wear a skirt, blouse, and heels (despite everyone else always wearing jeans – yay, silicon valley). But, I don’t want to go to the game later in that sort of outfit, and I’m 90% sure the execs will all be wearing jeans. Help?

    1. I like the nice shirt and blazer, but maybe switch out the skinny jeans and boots for trouser jeans? And instead of a t-shirt maybe a dressy blouse or knit top? Not sure how casual your office is, but I would feel more comfortable in regular (non-skinny) jeans around execs.

    2. I think the outfit you suggested sounds perfect. Go for it. Sharks game after the meeting?

    3. I had a similar dilema earler this year for a baseball game in the company suite. Would you feel underdressed if you wore jeans and an exec wore dress pants? Maybe switch the jeans for black skinny trousers if you’re worried, but I think your plan sounds good!

    4. Thanks everyone!! A coworker happened to ask what I was planning on wearing so we chatted about options. I’m going to go with the skinny jeans – it’s incredibly informal here. If I had black skinny trousers I would opt for those instead – but I don’t *adds to wishlist*.

  13. Going back to career services at your alma mater is frequently recommended when posters ask about switching career paths, but have any of you gals actually received help this way recently? I feel like as soon as they hear you are already employed these days they want nothing to do with you (especially law schools). Anecdata welcome!

    Signed,
    Needs to switch career paths (and doesn’t know how)

    1. Does your alma mater have an alumni association. I’m wondering whether approaching them through that would work?

      Alternatively, if you already know what career path you are interested in try doing informational interviews with people already in that field. You might gain insight on how to make the transition. Use the contacts you already have as well as LinkedIn. Approaching a recruiter who works with organizations in your field of interest is another option. Finally, apply for jobs in that field. If your current experience can somehow translate in the new area, you might get lucky.

      1. A lot of times an Alumni Association will have a database of people who are willing to talk to other alums about their particular field. They are also a good resource for helping you update your resume, and often times have career fairs for alumni, or networking nights.

    2. I reached out to mine (law school) when I was unemployed and they were spectacularly useless. But then, my impression has always been that they know OCI and can provide a little guidance on getting a summer associate position in BigLaw and maybe have the rules on how to apply for federal clerkships, but that’s about it. A friend (also a lawyer) mentioned that she actually went back to her undergrad alma mater’s career services and got great help. I never thought to do that, but maybe worth a try?

    3. Given this was pre-2008, so that may have played a part (i.e., fewer grads seeking help and fewer non-school related internet resources), but the career services department at my husband’s law school helped him when we relocated. They also arranged for a law school in the city where we were moving to provide him access to their online job’s board. Ultimately, the job he got was one posted on the local school’s job board. I don’t think an undergrad career services dept would be useful, but grad schools probably still are worth contacting.

    4. I got my job through my campus career center – which was a switch to a different practice area and from firm to in-house. I looked through their listings online, and called and spoke with one of the reps who gave some guidance. Then I applied to one of the listings and the career center was not involved afterwards.

  14. I was recently offered an opportunity to teach a class, taking over from someone who is leaving a college mid semester. However, the pay offered is very dismal and even though the job would help me financially, I feel taking at the current pay would be tough. The work is that of a lecturer which includes classes, labs as well as setting and grading exams. The job also involves an hour commute to and fro. How do I approach negotiating a better deal for myself? I know that the college needs someone right away, so that could be some leverage. However, I also think that whoever is hiring could just think, well we’ll just get someone else at this price. Suggestions please?

    1. Do you think the pay is less than the original instructor was making? I wouldn’t bring up the commute issue, but I would definietly come back with a higher pay rate based on the time commitment and your experience. If they are firm on pay are there other benefits you would want?

      1. I have no idea what the original instructor was making. I am assuming he might have also been a temporary hire because I think it’s unusual for someone permanent to leave in the middle of a semester. I do not plan on bringing up the commute issue, but it’s one of the reasons the current rate simply does not work, due to gas expenditure. That said the pay does not match the time commitment needed for the job. Positions like these generally do not come with any other benefits. Pay is the only thing.

        1. Generally, faculty pay is terrible, particularly for an adjunct position, which it sounds like this is. So don’t be surprised if it does not match up at all with what you thought it might be!My husband works in the private sector and was rather surprised to find out what I was paid as a staff member at a university. Then I told him what faculty members made. It wsa definitely enlightening for him!

    2. Adjunct teaching is unfortunately typically incredibly badly paid considering the workload — I’d say around 3K per course on average, but I’ve heard of contracts as low as $1K and as high as $7K. Usually there’s little to no negotiating room for these contracts, but since you have them in an unusual and desperate situation there might be some more flexibility. I’d certainly ask for more, citing your experience (if you’re more senior) and the prep time needed to be able to take over mid semester, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they present it as more of a take it or leave it deal.

      1. One more thing — the Chronicle has some data on adjunct pay that might be useful in seeing what the going rate is in your geographic/subject area, so that you can give some figures during the negotiation:

        http://adjunct.chronicle.com/

    3. First of all, the going rate for teaching one course is around $3K and is generally set by the university and probably not negotiable (unless it’s law and then I’m not sure. But, if it’s for a regular schedule of classes (full-time), there is data out there, published by CUPA, but you have to purchase it. Here’s where you go for per-course: http://www.cupahr.org/surveys/per-course.aspx

    4. Usually, lecturer positions pay about 4k per class per semester. So that is the rate in my department (which pays better than most) so adjust from there.

  15. A Big Thank You to all who responded on my smeared mascara thread.

    (1) Using the Urban Decay primer today and I’ve managed to keep my mascara in place for the past 5 hours.

    (2) It means I don’t have to return the Diorshow mascara, which was perfectly fine except for the smearing problem, which is now solved.

    (3) I learned about eyelash primers. I am now less of a noob about makeup than before. :-)

  16. I need tips on what to wear to an interview coming up soon. It’s already chilly in New England. I am planning on wearing black pants,a blazer and heels. But I’m stumped on what kind of top to wear. I will be walking in the city and it might be windy. Do not want to arrive at my destination chilled to the bone. Is it appropriate to wear something like a turtleneck sweater (fitted not loose) with a blazer? I know scarves are an option but I am still concerned that something like a button down is too light. Please help!

    1. I think a turtleneck will be too informal (although depends on your field). Are you planning to wear a coat, scarf, hat, and gloves? Because my full on formal suit battle gear doesn’t change with the seasons at all. It’s always a wool navy or charcoal skirt suit with stockings, heels, a button front cotton or silk dress shirt, and jewelry, whether it’s 95 degrees or -15 out. I just carry my jacket (and walk s…l…o…w…l…y) in hot weather, and pile on the coat and accessories in cold weather.

      1. I’m a little concerned about the blazers I have being too thick to wear under the coat I have which also happens to be really warm. At the same time I think wearing a sweater underneath might be too informal. The position is in a corporate environment. I currently work in a field that is very informal in dressing hence my questions.

        @TBK, I don’t plan on wearing a hat. But gloves are definitely an option.

        1. There are people out there that only have one warm coat? How do you survive the winter with only one coat?

          1. By which I mean I would go crazy wearing the same coat for 6 months. And the coat that is appropriate at 40 F degrees is not the coat that is appropriate at 0 F degrees. So I should have at least 2 coats – reality is more like 8.

          2. I own only one work-appropriate coat, and always have even when I lived in Boston. I don’t understand needing more than one. Plus I keep my Metro card in my coat pocket — if I switched coats, I’d never remember to swith my Metro card into the other coat! I have that plus a parka for skiing/sub-zero weather/other snow activities. It’s like people who have multiple purses. I have one purse for work, one for weekends, and one for formal/evening.

          3. TBK -you just proved my point. You have more than one warm coat. I’m not talking more than one work-appropriate coat, I’m talking coats in general.

          4. We here in Hawaii manage to have NO coats for”winter.” On a cold winter day, it might dip down to a chilly 72, but that can be handled with a cotton sweater. We also don’t need heaters.

        2. I would carry the blazer so you can wear whatever jacket will keep you comfortable with a confident/professional shirt. Just take off your jacket and put on the blazer in the lobby.

          1. @Rosie, I will probably go with your suggestion. Seems like the only one that will work.

            @Mpls I do have a number of coats but in recent years I only really wear one, the warmest one in wool–all through the winter. I live about 5 minutes drive from my current work place, and when I park my car it is a short walk to the building. Somehow it works.

    3. You could wear a thin sweater underneath. Remember that the office will be heated so you don’t want to dress too warm and be uncomfortable inside.

    4. If you’re concerned about fitting a blazer under a coat, you could try using a pashmina as your outerwear.

    5. I’ve had good luck tucking a cardigan under a suit jacket, which makes it a lot warmer. I sort of fold in the lapel-area so it doesn’t show and button it only where it will be under the jacket buttons. You’d have to try it out first, to make sure that the edges won’t hang out (or you could take it off and tuck it in your bag when you get there), but it might help. Good luck on the interview!

  17. I am having a miscarriage today and it sucks! And it sucks more because I can’t/don’t really want to talk to anyone about it. So I’m telling all of you. Boo.

    3. I’m so, so sorry. Please take care of yourself, and feel free to vent here in the coming days and weeks as you deal with this.

    5. Thanks so much to all of you – going to doctor now to see what they want to do.

    7. That is sad news–I’m so sorry. Take care of yourself. Brighter days are ahead.

    8. So so so sorry. Please take care and try to get as much rest as you can, and please let us know how you are doing (if you want to).

    10. I am so so sorry. It is so completely devastating and crappy and not fair and that doctor’s visit is a miserable one. Good luck and hugs.

    18. More hugs. Be extra kind to yourself. If you can’t take time off work, it’s ok to shut your door and cry.

    19. Hugs, sending good thoughts your way. Hope you’re doing as well as you can today.

  18. Any recommendations for a good drugstore concealer and eyeliner? Preferably the concealer would cover my dark circles and the eyeliner would be some sort of gel pencil that won’t disappear easily.

    1. I use Mac concealer, but I use Almay eyeliner: http://www.almay.com/en/products/eyes/eyeliner/almay-intense-i-color-defining-liner.aspx
      By the end of the day, I sometimes have a smudge right below my left eye, which is weird. But that’s when it’s really hot. I like it – it looks like it has glitter in it, but it doesn’t look like that on. I initially bought it by mistake thinking it was the kohl pencil. I have very sensitive eyes so I use mostly Almay eye makeup.

      1. I have used Revlon Color stay in the past but think the Maybelline unstoppable is better.

      2. +1 on Almay eyeliner. I agree the “glitter” was off-putting in the package, but the result is great. I read somewhere recently that Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Eraser Dark Circles Treatment Concealer (what a mouthful – good thing I made myself an i-Note!) is supposed to be the best concealer. Haven’t tried it yet so I can’t comment beyond that.

    2. I really like Revlon Colorstay eyeliner http://www.amazon.com/Revlon-ColorStay-Eyeliner-SoftFlex-Black/dp/B000H3EO3O. It goes on really dark and doesn’t smudge unless it accidentally goes on my waterline. I only have eyelid residue if I’m literally at a job site all day. It does lose a little pigment intensity after 12 hours but all in all, not awful.

      I did finally find a HG eyeliner, which is also a Revlon Colorstay product. THIS DOES NOT SMEAR OR BUDGE AT ALL, and I have seriously oily eyelids – it’s the Creme Gel Eyeliner and comes in a little pot with a brush. I love it. Seriously the best eyeliner I’ve found.

    3. I like L’Oreal Infallible and Revlon Colorstay eyeliners. Maybelline makes a good gel eyeliner and it comes with its own brush. Try an eyeshadow primer to help shadows/liners stay on longer. Too Faced is my favorite, but for a drugstore brand, Milani also works great.

      I’m looking for a good concealer myself, but I have heard good things about the L’Oreal True Match line.

    4. Maybelline 24 hour concealer (there are only like 5 shades, so hopefully one works for you). It does not budge, I like it as much as my NARS concealer.

      Maybelline unstoppable eyeliner. Only automatic pencil I’ve used for years. It’s pretty good, but not as good as my Make Up Forever eyeliners (regular pencil that you sharpen) or Stila Stay the Day liquid liner.

      BTW, the MUFE pencil liners last forever, so IMO they’re worth the cost. The automatic pencils don’t last as long cause there’s not as much product in them.

  19. Any ‘rettes struggling with seasonal affective disorder (SAD)? As the days get shorter, darker, and colder, finding it more and more difficult to drag myself to work early in the a.m.

    3. Yup. I take vitamin D and make sure I exercise at least every other day. Take advantage of the weekends and get outside as much as possible. Take a walk during lunch as well.

    4. SADD in full swing here! I do all the things — vitamin D daily, happy light, exercise — but my body is not fooled a bit. All it knows, every morning, is that it’s dark and cold out and way too early to get up! I have read that you should go outside even for ten or twenty minutes while it is light out so I try to make a regular coffee run during daylight hours.

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