As I moved my pill bottle from one side of the sink to the other this morning, I wondered: What are some of your best tricks for remembering things? They can be big or little…
This is kind of on my mind for a reason — over at CorporetteMoms we’ve started a series on sharing the mental load associated with different parts of marriage, parenting, etc. (Today we’re talking about the mental load associated with household tasks!) Anyhoo, I’m realizing how much energy it takes in my head to remember things if I don’t have a trick for it. Really random example: I know my husband and I want to consider updating our will every few years to reassess possible guardianship of the kids. Years! This should be totally off my radar! And yet it pops into my head at least twice a month and causes me stress, both because of the topic and the mere fact that I need to remember it. In fact I’m going to go calendar it and see if that helps me forget it. Sigh. Ooh, or maybe I’ll tie it to one of my kids’ birthdays. Hmmn.
Some of the things I do are:
Moving pill bottles from one side of the sink to the other: If a bottle is on the left side of the sink, I know I’ve taken those pills.
Visualizing myself remembering it: This is maybe strange, but if I say to myself, “Self, don’t forget to bring your hat when you leave today,” I’ll visualize my hand hovering near the elevator button or doorknob and try to pair it with the thought of “HAT!?!” For some reason the more specific I am the better it seems to work for me.
Habit stacking: I tend to do a bunch of things at once every day. I take all my AM vitamins together (I just kind of shake a bunch into one ramekin from each jar; they all look different enough that I remember what’s what), as well as my PM vitamins. On Sundays I meal prep the same few things for the week (we usually defrost chicken, soak some beans, and I’ll try to think about two lunches for each kid).
Write things down in the same place repeatedly: I write close friends’ birthdays on the wall calendar we use, and then copy the calendar the next year — if someone’s birthday is May 1, I tend to write it at the end of April, as well as on the day. Another calendar trick: I am forever surprised by major birthdays and holidays, so I try to write little notes to myself at the beginning of the month. Start thinking about a birthday party for X? Book restaurant for Mother’s Day!
Pair actions with random dates: For example, if it’s the 1st or 15th of the month it’s a trigger for me to wash my delicates.
Cheats for grammar: For grammar things I tend to have little cheats that aren’t quite mnemonics — for “stationery” I remember there’s an E in it for eraser, which means stationary is the one for lack of action.
(Oh! I just thought of a kid-related tip I’ve heard that may save a life: if you drive your child to daycare, put your left shoe in the backseat with them — then you’ll never accidentally leave them in the car. If you don’t have kids it sounds crazy — how could you possibly forget your kid?! — but it unfortunately happens, and on hot, sunny days it can be fatal.)
How about you, readers — what are your best tips and tricks to remember things both big and small?
Kathy
Four years ago I was you. My husband and I kept putting off getting a will. For 14 years, we were too busy, or whatever other excuse we could make. And then he dropped dead. Literally. Gone in a second. We had no will. HERE’S YOUR WAKE UP CALL: GETTING A WILL IS AN EMERGENCY! Stop reading this and Google Estate lawyers NOW! Then make an appointment. NOW!
anon
Thank you for this psa. I am so sorry for your loss.
Can you please explain this a little? DH is a lawyer and tells me that wills are helpful but not necessary if your finances are fairly simple (like ours). If one of us goes, the house, cars, and money just goes to the other spouse.
Cornellian
It depends on your state. If you die intestate your belongs will pass according to state law, and you may be okay with that default if just one of you is dying (and you don’t have kids or pets or other dependents). It will take way longer and cost more in most states to die intestate. It’s still better to have a simple will specifying what you want (and you may move to a place with different laws or the laws may change where you are, leaving you with a new default).
So sorry OP , and thanks for the reminder.
Pompom
Yeah, this. We live in a state that has half our estates go to our parents if we die married without kids, but intestate…yeah, no thanks to that. We intentionally live 1000mi from said parents…
Anon
That’s assuming no kids and/or that only one person dies.
Anonymous
In NY, if a person dies intestate with a spouse and children, the children are entitled to a portion of the estate. This can be extra inconvenient if the children are minors and trusts need to be established. Definitely, definitely do your Will and POA.
Kat G
we have a will, we just need to reassess certain parts of it on a semi-regular basis.
Anon
Thank you. I’ve been meaning to contact a lawyer friend to get the ball rolling on this. Your PSA was the perfect nudge.
BeenThatGuy
I have a fear of burning my house down due to a fire in my childhood home that destroyed every.last.thing. So when I use the iron, I say out loud, “the iron is off”. When I’m driving to work, running through my mental to-do list, inevitably leaving the iron on pops into my head. My brain remembers hearing the words “the iron is off”. When I’m particularly anxious, I also move the iron to another side of the room and say “the iron is off and moved”.
Seventh Sister
If I’m trying to remember something small and/or don’t have the ability to make a note right then and there, I switch my watch from my left hand to the right hand. It’s the way I remember that my grocery bag is in the work fridge or I have to update the laundry before I go to bed or whatever.
Lobby-est
If I need to remember to take my lunch out off the frig and with me to work, I put my car key in my lunch bag
I take my meds before I take my first sip of coffee ( a great motivator because I love my morning coffee).
Jules
That’s a genius idea for remembering lunch.
I have to use physical reminders, too – if I want to water the houseplants after work, I put the watering can on the kitchen counter; if I want to refill my purse container of Advil before I leave in the morning, I put the big bottle of Advil out on the sink, if the laundry will need to be moved in or out of the dryer in the morning, I put my purse on the basement door knob. I am afraid of how many things like this I will be doing at age 80.
An airline pilot I know says his trick for not leaving things in a hotel safe is to put one shoe inside with his valuables – he can’t walk out the door with just one dress shoe on.
I also set a ton of reminders and alerts on my phone, but sometimes I ignore them …
LeLe Wileman
I have a mnemonic – that I recite mentally to myself as I descend the stairs…PHOKEMON, which stands for Phone, keys, money – things I always tend to think of once in the car!! I’m also a ring changer – to another hand, but it works less well now than it did before I got used to it, i.e., I don’t even notice it now. (Age?!) I liked the submitted idea of changing the watch! That I would notice!