Coffee Break: Michele ‘Deco II Diamond’ Diamond Dial Watch Case

105 Comments

1. This may be a bit Dowager Countess, but I didn’t think that one wore watches to things that are fancy (see, supra, Dowager Countess asking what a weekend was). And yet I see fancy watches.

   I wear a Skagen to work and a Timex on weekends. If I go out, I bring a phone anyway and I like to think that I’m on Leisure Time and can’t be bothered.

   1. What is a “week end?”

      1. Totally. One of the best Downton lines ever.

   2. Dunno. My mom has a very fancy diamond watch that is a dress watch, almost like a bracelet. It’s really delicate. And it’s worth a lot of $$$. So I think fancy watches are a thing. I have distinct memories of my mom wearing it for benefits and the like.

      1. It’s also useful in situations where I’d be rude to take out your phone to check the time.

      2. I get that, but I don’t know why fancy things should have a function. Can’t things just be pretty?

         I do appreciate that philosophically, this one (with no visible hours and a loud print) lets you be vaguely aware of the time, which suits a fancy party item (and give me a few drinks and some dim lighting and I the watch feature would become useless with my eyesight). And not “OMG it’s 2:17!” This in a digital watch would be so damn wrong.

      3. There is definitely such a thing as a dress watch. My mom has a very small, delicate gold and sapphire one. Also, Kate Middleton has worn watches to dressy events, so if a princess does it…

         1. off to google kate middleton fancy watch…

   3. I don’t think a lady properly wears a watch with evening clothes and diamonds are not properly worn during the day, making the lady’s diamond watch a bit of an outcast. But nowadays, well, we all have electric lighting and telephones.

      1. I thought that ladies don’t wear colored stones in the day time.

         Whatevs — not a problem I have :)

         1. According to Miss Manners: “The proper time [for wearing diamonds] is evening. Only engagement and wedding-band diamonds are properly worn in daylight. That rule also goes for rubies, sapphires and emeralds; semiprecious stones may be worn during the day.”

            So yeah, no precious stones, colored or clear, during the day. If you’re Violet Crawley.

            1. Me, on a good day, might be Cousin Isobel.

            2. If I had a ruby or emerald, I would sure as hell wear it whenever I wanted with whatever I wanted. But then I’ve never been accused of being a lady so not being one is not something I worry about.

2. Where do you all shop for costume jewelry, especially pieces for after hours or non-conservative work environments? What brands do you like? I love statement pieces and chunkier styles for non-court days. I am updating my jewelry and haven’t found anything I like at my usual costume jewelry stops (think: fast fashion-y places). I have accepted that I may need to move on to better quality/more expensive items but don’t know where to start.

   1. I’m in Texas, and pretty much everyone here wears Kendra Scott. I also love Alexis Bittar stuff.

      1. Stella & Dot is my fave as far as style and quality.

      2. +1 to Kendra Scott. My boyfriend just gave me a necklace from her after asking a bunch of his friends for what they gave or liked to receive. I have a couple of pieces, and absolutely love them. Other than that I get mostly stuff from Charming Charlies and Forever 21 has good statement necklaces. Also in Texas FWIW.

   2. This isn’t higher quality, but I love Charming Charlie’s for fun costume jewelry. I’ve gotten some gorgeous pieces that look like J. Crew’s at a tenth of the price.

   3. Baublebar, Nordstrom, Charming Charlie, JCrew outlets (the other stuff is too expensive for costume jewelry), Kohls (for plain stud earrings), Amazon, yard sales/flea markets for fun vintage pieces like bracelets and pins.

   4. I really like Francesca’s Collections

      1. Currently having a Buy One Get One 50% off sale!

   5. I’ve lived a bunch of places and have always managed to find an accessories boutique that’s fun and affordable. In DC, it’s Lou Lou. Somewhat comparable to the chain Francesca’s.

      After that, when I live near one, the Dillard’s jewelry department is AMAZING. Everything they sell is awesome, so when they have their 65% off markdowns, you get stuff you’re really excited about for a fraction of what it originally cost. I miss Dillard’s.

      1. I only buy costume jewelry on clearance.

         In $ range Macy’s and Lord & Taylor can yield great finds, and you can use coupons.
         Talbots, WHBM, JCrew – $$.
         In $$$ range I recommend checking Forzieri sale often. They have the most interesting, different pieces.

   6. I really like Kate Spade for statement pieces. I always buy on sale, either at Nordstrom online or Nordstrom Rack. I have two statement necklaces that I constantly get compliments on and they look really beautiful and non-cheap. I would reiterate that the stuff is terribly overpriced for what it is, so definitely buy on sale.

      I like this one:

      http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/kate-spade-new-york-punchy-petals-necklace/4265028?origin=wishlist

      I’ve also heard good things about Bauble Bar, now also available at Nordstrom. I’m not a fan of Kendra Scott, the necklace I bought looked really cheap.

      1. +1 I love Kate Spade jewelry.

      2. I love Kate Spade jewelry. I’ve found the earrings are poor quality but I wear her necklaces/bracelets all the time. I often find pieces on sale at Nordstrom.

   7. Etsy.

      Search within for sterling / etc. to get good quality. I have some truly lovely pieces that I’ve gotten, all <$100. I only get questions about them, never on other things I randomly have.

   8. I don’t like buying on Etsy because shipping is often slow and many sellers don’t have great return policies.

      I get all my costume jewelry from Kate Spade, various brands at Nordstorm, J. Crew, and Banana Republic.

   9. Alexis Bittar and Bario Neal

   10. Alexis Bittar is my go-to. Recently have liked 1 or 2 Frieda Rothman pieces as well. I also buy from boutique type stores that sell a mix of higher-end costume jewelry (like Alexis Bittar) and fine jewelry. I tend to mix costume and fine jewelry, though. And I probably spend more than most on this type of stuff cuz I like it (and I’m Indian so maybe it’s cultural).

       I find you can get some nice name-brand pieces for decent prices at places like Nordstrom Rack, Saks Off 5th, and NM Last Call.

   11. Ive started buying pieces on eBay. Lots of times you can buy new items with tags. Kate Spade items are still expensive, but definitely less so.

   12. I’ve found some nice things at Nordstrom Rack, but that may be hit or miss. If you happen to be in there, take a swing by and take a look, though.

3. Pretty!…but expensive.

4. Has anyone left the law with under 5 years of experience (ideally, under 3)? What did you do? I spend 90% of my life regretting my career choice but it feels like the advice available about getting out of law is geared towards people with 10+ years of experience.

   1. I have friends who’ve pivoted pretty significantly (e.g. he’s a private pilot and intended to practice law, but now runs his own charter company and is his own counsel). I can think of other friends in JD-preferred jobs.

      What do you dislike? That’s where to start with advice.

   2. I think part of why leaving before 5 years is relatively uncommon is that many people feel they shouldn’t leave the profession completely without trying a law job that’s not private practice, and in-house, government and non-profit jobs are generally hard to get as a very junior attorney. But I do know a few who have left before the five year mark, some as early as one year into their legal career. They all went back to pre-law school careers (engineering, journalism, finance).

   3. My deal with myself was that I couldn’t quit before my loans were paid off.

      1. I have that same deal except with my mortgage (and it’s with my husband more than with myself). Under two years left! LCOL area, obviously.

      2. If I made that deal, I wouldn’t be able to change jobs for more than a decade lol. I only make $85k in a HCOLA – “paying off” ain’t happening ahead of schedule, and I’ll be lucky if it happens within 15 years.

   4. I really only practiced from under a year. And then did a few other things before landing in medical device regulatory affairs. I describe it as practice in front of the FDA (but extends to Europe as well), but without requiring a JD.

      1. Is this a DC/federal gov’t position?

         1. No – on the industry side, and the particular device (or drug) type will dictate the region. I would probably need more of a technical background (engineer or PhD) to be on the FDA gov’t side as a reviewer (or at a Notified Body for the EU work).

            1. How did you start looking for other jobs? I’m impressed–I feel like at this point I have no marketable skills to offer.

            2. Well, I was a science ugrad and ended up at the same (large) med device manufacturer that I worked at prior to law school, though in a completely different capacity.

               I did a lot of information interviewing, drawing on some of the network I had from previously working at Company, because FDA reg/compliance is a bit of a black box. I spent some time on the FDA’s website, talked to the professor who does Food/Drug Law at my law school. For MedDev/Pharma, there is a professional society (RAPS) that also does certifications that would be a very useful tool for getting a crash course in the subject matter. Because my geographic area is heavy in the med device options, there are some Master of Science programs in Reg Affairs I could have pursued, though I wouldn’t consider them terribly useful for someone with a JD.

               That’s all pretty specific to FDA/MedDevice regulatory work. I imagine there would be comparable options available in other types of reg work (environmental, banking), but don’t know of specific resources.

               I think the JD advantage was I knew how to read the act and legislation and strategize a bit because I knew how the process worked. I had probably absorbed more of the quality system culture than I realized from when I worked there previously, so I could read some of the (pretty broadly written) regulations and say “So THAT’s why we did that thing”.

            3. Mpls, I’m not the OP but I’m highly interested in this — if you’re willing to post an email address, I’d love to pick your brain a little more on this topic.

            4. Google “Medtronic”

            5. If you’re going, see you at RAPS!

               Yay for RegAffairs!

   5. It seems a lot of people don’t leave law until they pay off their student loans or at least have them under control to the point at which they are manageable on a lower salary.

      Most people go back to what they were doing before law school. I know someone who went into HR, a number of people who went into legal support services like LexisNexis/WestLaw/other services. I do know one person who left law to start her own meditation/mindfulness practice.

      I’m leaving law after 10+ years in January (fingers crossed) to go back to school for a year to start a whole new career. I have enough in savings to pay off my remaining student loans (at super low interest rates so it doesn’t make sense to pay them off) and my mortgage (also at a low rate and I itemize so tax deduction!) and the tuition/living expenses for while I’m in school. Being a lawyer is a great first career if you want to start your second career financially sound!

      1. Congrats–that’s a huge leap and I’m so impressed. I love stories like that.

         I have no school debt, and I went straight through from my undergrad so I’m 26 and 2 years in. Maybe I’ll try to hang in here a little longer.

         1. Don’t hang in there any longer than you have to. The only reasons I’m waiting until the end of the year are pre-reqs and timing for applying and starting my program. Once I knew what I wanted to do, I decided on a course of action within 2 weeks and started executing: toured the school and waived the pre-reqs I could waive, applied to the community college for pre-reqs, started volunteering in my new field, and signed up for the first of two admission tests.

            If you can, try to find a “transition” that will pay your living expenses. Maybe it’s a contract job, a 9-5 job, or some other “lean out” strategy. If you plan to have kids with your SO, now might be the time (I was part of the lay-offs of 2009 and many, many of the people who were laid off at the time decided to have kids while still on severance).

            The big thing is to have some financial cushion. I am conservative so I have >12 months living expenses in cash right now. By saving and living below my means, I’ve bought myself the freedom to do what I want to do.

            TL;DR: decide on a financial cushion and transition plan, then execute ASAP. Don’t hang in there for the sake of hanging in there.

            1. How did you decide what you wanted to do?

            2. Lots of reflection and life experience. I got a good old-fashioned kick in the a$$, too. The kick in the a$$ was what made the decision. I won’t lie. I could be a miserable lawyer for another decade if I want to be.

   6. I’ve seen people go to the following JD preferred roles with around 5 years experience: complex insurance claims, HR, compliance (one in healthcare and one in tech), federal probation investigations (there is an age cut off there though), one municipal (reviews and drafts contracts but is not an attorney), and a few higher ed jobs (disability compliance comes to mind first.)

   7. I left right at 5 years and moved into an HR position. I should have left sooner. I tried moving to SF Bay area after 3 years in NYC. It was slightly better, but I getting completely out of law is the best decision I’ve ever made. Network with former lawyers, you’ll find people that will help. Even if you don’t pay off all of your student loans first.

5. My husband and I are sitting for family portraits with our two little kids (3-year-old girl and baby boy). We are going to a mall portrait studio, so we’ll be indoors.

   I assume my husband will wear khakis and a blue striped shirt like he always does. What should I wear (tallish, size 12-14). What should I have my kids wear? I assume no loud prints? I have read advice on professional head shots by I’m at a bit of a loss for family portraits!

   1. You? Navy. Kids? Coordinating colors that play well with blue and each other — girl maybe in a flowered dress with a yellow sweater, baby in whatever dressy little outfit you have?

      For dressed-up example, look at the family portrait that the Queen did with all of her young grand and great-grand children. Everyone pretty much “goes” together but it’s not super matchy.

      1. This is great advice.

         And if you hate the colors when you see it as a photograph, having it printed in black and white can undo any color drama you are having (also useful if you want to reuse on any holiday card later and all of the colors look too busy).

         1. Clothes aside, a lot of people just look better in B&W. It makes people generally look slimmer and hides blemishes and all sorts of other imperfections. Our photographer didn’t shoot enough black & whites at our wedding so I converted a bunch of the color photos into B&W, which is really easy to do.

            1. Unless you purchased them, you know that’s a copyright violation, right?

            2. I have never met a photographer that takes the watermarks off any digital files that aren’t purchased, so I think it’s safe to say this wasn’t a copyright issue.

   2. I like family photos where everyone is wearing coordinating but not matchy clothing. I’d encourage your husband to wear a solid blue shirt instead as stripes can be a bit distracting in a group photo.

6. I am going to be taking on the resposibilities previously held by someone whose position is being eliminated following an acquisition. This person is disappointed that they arent staying on. I’ve never met them, and had no role in the decision not to have them stay (which they know).

   I’m speaking with them for the first time on Monday (they’re staying on for a few months for the transition). Words of advice from those who’ve been in either of our shoes? I want to be sensitive. I am also excited to be gaining these responsibilities and want to learn as much as i can during the transition.

   1. Ugh, I was in this position. My VP role and a C-suite role were eliminated, and an SVP role was created to absorb the majority of our work. They gave the C-suite role a golden parachute immediately; I had to stay on for 2 months and do the transition in order to earn my (generous) severance.

      1. Don’t expect the outgoing party to be chipper, friendly, and on their A-game. However, if you aren’t getting what you need, make sure you articulate that clearly (first to the outgoing party, then to his/her boss if things don’t improve).
      2. Take the lead. Don’t expect the person whose job you are taking to go out of their way to make sure you have everything you need to succeed. You may want to work with your boss to clearly understand what your new role will entail, and what the outgoing person has that you’ll need to learn.
      2a. Set up meetings to do knowledge transfer; ideally, send the person an agenda in advance so s/he can gather all relevant materials and walk you through them during the meeting (vs a meeting to say, “hey so, yeah, what do I need?”)
      2b. Don’t be too nice, and be sensitive to topics you bring up. My replacement was all “oh, I’ve already respected your work, you seem to have a really good handle on things here, tell me all about your 3-5 year strategic plan for the business!” Uh, no dude. My role just got cut. If I’m so great, put me in the org chart when you shake things up and I know you have the budget for it because I did the budget this year. Also, no, I will not just hand over my strategic plan, because I was told I wasn’t senior enough to take on the role and they hired someone that could really be more strategic. So good luck with that. We got alone fine until my replacement kept asking me “well, how would you handle this?” I finally said (politely but firmly), something like “Well, how I’d handle it doesn’t matter; i think the team really needs you to own this and drive it forward.”

      3. Help the team you are taking over navigate the transition. I had (and have) a fabulous rapport with the team I led, and they were heartbroken (as in, in tears, two threatened to quit, one marched into the CEO’s office and said essentially, WTF you moron. My replacement was a total stranger, and the CEO (who made these changes) did no messaging. So my team came to *me* with their issues, which was just too much to handle (ie, I’d get complaints from my team about their new boss–WTF am I supposed to do about it? OF COURSE it’s silly, but this ain’t my circus anymore…). I talked to HR, and HR put together a plan to work with my team during the transition.

      4. Be respectful of Outgoing Person’s time. Cancel meetings you don’t need. Don’t make them join late night calls for moral support. A good way to handle this would be to attend the meetings solo, then schedule a debrief with Outgoing Person saying “here’s what I got out of the meeting, am I understanding this right given the context? I had a question about _____ I was hoping you could answer.”

   2. More from a nuts and bolts perspective, I would
      -get a list of yearly/quarterly/monthly/weekly/daily processes
      -map out each process with all actions involved
      -make a RACI for each process
      -get clarity on unputs, outputs and templates for each process

      The more organized and systematic you are, the less painful it will be for both of you.

7. I am considering getting built ins for my bedroom. Does anyone have any suggestions for questions to ask a designer/installer? Is $1500 an expected estimate for one wall? I am in Chicago if anyone has any recs.

8. So we bought our Big “Forever” Family House last year. It’s in a town we love. We love the size. We knew when we bought it that it was in a busy location, and did (we thought) our dilligence on the location. Yes, it’s a busy street, but it’s on 2 acres and there is plenty of room in the back yard for the kiddos. Yes, we knew it needed work, but our options were either buy something small and move-in ready, or the bigger house and gradually fix it up.

   So here we are one year in, and we are exactly where we thought we’d be renovation-wise. We met with an architect and he’s drawing up master plans, what we want as a “final” house is within our budget but is a lot of money (about 25% the cost of the house; final house would be worth at least 125% the cost of the house as our renovations are bringing an outdated 70s home into line with all the homes in the area that cost 150%++ of the purchase price of our home).

   However, before we start demo and write the BIG checks (it’s a lot of money…high COL area!), I’m having serious second thoughts because of the location of the house. The busy road is just as busy as we knew when we moved in, but there are TRUCKS. Oh man are there trucks. And they drive seemingly all hours of the night (at least, they are still driving when I go to bed around 10 and are already driving when I wake up at 6, though when I wake up in the middle of the night there are no trucks). AND, we are on a hill, so we hear the gears shifting. We have young kids that nap. The house is 5BR, and our 2 kids are in the 2 “quiet” (but still a little street noise) bedrooms and nap without issue. #3 is on the way and the only bedroom options for the nursery are LOUD. I know infants are resilient, but man oh man, it will drive me crazy to sit in there and nurse.

   There are only 1-2 rooms in the entire house where you hear NO NOISE AT ALL, and one is the kitchen. Our reno includes totally finishing out the currently unfinished basement into a playroom/office/suite type thing, and that will be nice and quiet since it’s below grade.

   My options, such as I see them, are:
   1. Stay with this house, do reno and invest as if we’ll be here forever. Maybe we’ll have to relo for work or family or whatever but treat this as our long-term house. Deal with the noise.
   2. Sell now. We’d take a loss, I think, but not much. The bigger issues are likely (1) time to sell (probably not an easy sell, though we bought in a heated market) and (2) we can’t afford a house anywhere near this big in town, ESPECIALLY since I’ve gone down to part-time work. We’d have to look in another town, or move into a house that would not be our “forever” house, but would get us through the young kid years and then we’d move again.
   3. Do nothing, no reno. Downside is reno will dramatically improve the overall flow of the house, provide additional quiet space, and make the yard much safer/better for the kids to play in (it’s unfenced now; we can’t fence until we do the Major Construction for complicated reasons; also, the deck is awful and I don’t let my kids on it)

   This is a long post. I’m mainly just looking for ideas/opinions. I’ve spoken to a few realtors, including the one that sold us this house, as well as builders/architects. There are “soundproofing” type options, but nothing will get us to total quiet and all are kind of odd. our architect is designing the renovations/addition with the noise considerations in mind.

   1. Get better Windows and carry on with your plan. Plant a hedge.

      1. +1 to windows. I live and work on two different busy roads. My office has old crappy windows and I hear so much noise. My house has new efficient windows and I really only hear sirens or just a general white noise from the traffic that is easy to drown out.

         On fencing – even on my busy road I don’t think it is necessary for safety. It is nice for privacy. I really wanted one for my dog and then I saw the price and had major sticker shock – $15,000+. I’m guessing even with a fence you wouldn’t be leaving the kids alone in the yard. A fence also won’t stop an out of control car if that is your concern. In fact, it makes it less likely you would see it coming. (I had mystery tire tracks in the snow of my yard this year suggesting someone went off the road there but was able to get back on somehow.)

   2. Honestly, I’d probably stay. I once lived right near the airport and was surprised how quickly the airplane noise just became part of the background. But you might want to look realistically at what other house you could afford, and compare to what you would have post-renovation. Also, why not have kids share a room?

      1. Also, why nurse in the baby’s room? When they were tiny, they were in my room for ~6 months or until sleeping through the night. After that, their room was for sleeping (so not nursing in it). I cannot give up my comfy couch or my-room chair (and TV, on mute with captions, for when snuggly baby falls asleep on you).

   3. Honestly trying to sell + move while pregnant + two kids sounds like a nightmare to me. Can you do a smaller scale reno that will be finished before baby arrives and make current space more livable? Even fresh paint and flooring can make a huge difference. Can existing kids share a room or put baby in a crib in your room so you don’t have to use the loud bedroom?

      I’d wait until after baby comes and use mat leave time to check out various neighborhoods to find something that is a better fit.

   4. If every other house in the neighborhood has been renovated, then bringing this one up to date seems like a no brainer, whether you stay or go. It can’t stay a ’70s museum forever. Either you decide to stay and enjoy it or you essentially flip it.

      Btw, the bunks on an aircraft carrier are right below where the traps for the jets are. People can learn to sleep anywhere.

   5. Once you get proper windows you’ll find that most, if not all, of the sound will have dissipated. Also, if you have to do stuff to the walls–re-insulate, drywall… you can get them to install soundproofing materials on that side. I would suggest staying and getting things done, that way when you sell your equity will have increased.

      1. Yes- if you stay, investigate window options. We’re moving from our noisy house for several other reasons but the research I’d done on new windows suggested dissimilar glass thickness double pane with careful install would help the most based on a lot of websites on noise…

   6. We live in a very old (1909) house on a busy street. We love our neighborhood and our actual house so we decided to stay & make do.

      I will 4th or 5th the recommendation for windows. We have original double hung and casement windows and didn’t want to replace them with modern windows so we had custom second windows made by a company that specializes in sound reduction win dows. Essentially, they are like storm windows but on the inside, and much better looking.

      Over time you stop noticing the noise, it’s true. I can’t even hear it in the backyard.

      1. Add me to the crowd urging for new windows. I lived in a house directly behind a sound wall for a major freeway (cars were 30 feet from my bedroom window). The previous owned had installed cheap vinyl double-paned windows that actually blocked most of the sound.

         I also lived overlooking a freeway with triple-paned windows. I would say there isn’t much difference between double- and triple-paned but the sound is stopped.

         Second the rec to install new insulation if you are opening up walls. In the house with the sound wall, we re-insulated just the ceiling and that made a big difference in terms of sound and temperature control.

         Also consider planting large trees or bushes to block the sight of the road. The sound wall house had a teeny-tiny backyard that was awful until we tore out the concrete and installed a tree border to hide the wall and a lawn. It didn’t stop any noise but it made a big difference psychologically to not be staring at the wall every night when I went too sleep. Is there such a thing as a visual placebo effect for reducing noise?

      2. We’re on a busy street, and replacing the windows with double-paned ones made a huge difference, plus we got major energy savings and a draft-free house. Using icynene (?) insulation, the foam stuff they pump in, made an even bigger difference. I highly recommend it.

      3. I love you for keeping the original windows:)

   7. Interesting on the Windows. They were updated in 2002, but perhaps there are better options now to consider. I had assumed that the owners went with the best available (they’re double glazed but idk how high quality)…another thing to check on.

      The fence is for privacy, to keep lets in the yard, and to keep kids enclosed. Kids being the 3rd goal. It’s a 20k job but we knew that going in.

      1. Again we didnt go there- but for real noise reduction there seems to be a science to the windows. Research it before you make any decision- the interior storms suggested above were highly recommended, and also double panes where the panes have different thicknesses. Thermal insulation is not the same as noise insulation- I think they have to be special noise reducing design to make a difference worth the investment. And of course it doesn’t help outside!

      2. You can do the fence but also add in those tall evergreen shrub things (very tall!) I see that are like natural privacy fencing. Lots of good science on the noise reduction of stuff like that.

   8. You’ll get more used to the noise. My first house was near a tank gunnery. By the time I moved 3 years later, I didn’t even notice the booms or house shaking.

9. Any recommendations for a hair colorist (I’m looking for highlights) in DC? Downtown or Chinatown area preferred. Thanks!

   1. Meghan Moody at 1201 Salon in Foggy Bottom. I don’t have highlights (she just cuts my hair), but she does highlights on 2 friends of mine and their color looks fantastic — very flattering and completely natural-looking.

      1. I love 1201 Salon. I drive up to DC from out of town to get thermal straightening done there.

   2. Tim Poisal at Karma (in Foggy Bottom)!

10. Are you me? This sounds similar to my experience with my house but without the trucks. I have other loud vehicles, though and the sound drives me crazy and close to tears. Every. Single. Day. Despite the advice I have received, 2.5 years later , I am not “used to it”. I bought for similar reasons to those you laid out but I am very unhappy with the house, largely due to location. I have solicited input from builders, architects, designers and friends.

    Anyway, my plan of action is to:
    (1) Not replace the windows in the house. I looked into getting tripled paned windows and they would cost more money than I want to put into the house;

    (2) Renovate, but only those things that would bring the house of the 70s and make it more marketable. So, although I would love to, I will not, for example, renovate the serviceable ( but not granite topped, latest and greatest kitchen) but will update the poorly laid out master bath with the black toilet and sink. At this point before I do ANYTHING, I ask myself if it will increase my resale potential. If my answer is “no”, I don’t bother;

    (3) Do minor DIY updates like- painting, updating lighting, adding some design details.

    (4) Put the house on the market within 1-2 years. I will likely lose money when I sell. If I am very lucky, I will break even. But I don’t see my value and equity increasing appreciably even if I were to stay for another 5-7 years. I have decided to get out as soon as I can, save my sanity and purchase in a location that does not make me unhappy on a daily basis.

    1. Adding:
       I also did a lot of research into other acoustic dampening solutions , including adding acoustic panels to rooms in the house, adding insulation, thermal curtains, and adding a wall, shrubbery and trees. It turns out that trees provide largely a psychological benefit and do little to reduce actual noise and the other solutions were not workable for the house and the property. Also, when I spoke with the window estimator, he was not certain that the windows would alleviate the problem, and again, window replacement would be VERY expensive, so for me, selling is the only solution. YMMV.

       1. Of those other acoustic solutions, did any have good reviews? We also live on a busy street and would love some interim solutions for noise. We’d eventually like to move, but it’s probably a few years down the road.

          1. The solution that seemed more likely to deliver results are acoustic panels that you add to the walls to dampen sound. ( Think recording studio). The problem with the solution is that they are really designed to keep sound in and I did not know who good they would be with keeping sound out, they are not that attractive and per foot, can be expensive. There is also a type of drywall panel that is marketing as acoustic paneling but that would have involved more construction/painting/etc than I thought was reasonable. Other suggestions were to add carpet and furniture to the room ( on the theory that they add more surface area to absorb the sound) and setting up a sound system that would record, and then re- transmit the sound outward. ( This was waaay over my head and is a true acoustic geek solution) I did go ahead an put up thermal drapes. They don’t help with sound much but they sure are pretty! I wound up moving out of the room that was causing the bulk of the problem and I avoid the other street facing rooms as much as possible.

             1. Thanks, that’s helpful!

11. Yesterday was a Bad day at work. Today is a Bad day at work. Why did I uproot my life for this job?

    1. YAY! Coffee Break! I love coffee break and fancy watches, but I would NEVER buy pave diamond’s in a watch, and personaly, am waiting for DAD to buy me a new Apple watch to sink with my new Iphone. He said he would get it for my birthday, but there were NO new model’s out then. So I must wait and wear my MOVADO for the time being. FOOEY!

       As for the OP, you must learn that there are good day’s and bad day’s in EVERY job. Even now, I have bad day’s where I get NOTHING done. Then the manageing partner yells at me b/c I only bill 9 hour’s that day, and he does NOT even care that I can NOT focus on work at all that day b/c of something on my mind. I told dad, and dad says to ignore him b/c I am a billing machine, and all machines need to go down for serviceing once in a while. Dad is right. I am so glad that he is a MENSA, even tho I am NOT.

       I wanted to tell the HIVE that the guy from the SEDER want’s to go out with me, but he picked his nose all nite at the table while he was stareing at me. I can NOT date a guy who doe’s that. What would the HIVE do if you were 35 and single and lookeing, but found THAT? I hope you agree with me. YAY!!!!

    2. I feel similarly. This has been a bad month at work.

       Just commiserating, but I do think/hope it’ll get better if you recently moved.

    3. I am having multiple Bad Days. I’m not sure why I’m not stomping over to somewhere new.

12. How do you bounce back from a bad deposition experience? I took a deposition last week that did not go well. Nothing hugely detrimental came out, but the witness was incredibly withholding and the witness’s attorney (lead opposing counsel) went out of his way to make things difficult. I’m a fairly young-looking senior associate, and I suspect he saw me as an easy mark without a lot of deposition experience (which is partly true). I’ve been kicking myself ever since for not standing up for myself more, by, for example, challenging some of his hundreds (seriously) of unnecessary objections. My question is how do I put this behind me and start getting ready for the next one I’m taking next week? Thanks.

    1. You learn from it and keep fighting, then you forget about it because of so many depositions in life. FWIW, I attended a symposium recently on women trial lawyers. There were women judges on one panel. Someone from the audience asked a similar questions, and the judges said they see what’s going on and are not happy about behavior like that. One option is to file something in court with the transcript, requesting a ruling that objections be limited to form only (“object to the form”) and speaking objections forbidden. I also just completely ignore opposing counsel at depositions, for the most part not even looking at them and just insisting on an answer, staring at the witness. If no answer, “are you instructing the witness not to answer” and get it on the record, then file your motion to reopen the depo to get the answer. But don’t feel bad — it’s a fight for all of us, and jerky opposing counsel are in all my cases, and you learn from this and get better for the next one. Remember the judge/jury will like you better in the end and that will be better for your client.

13. Anyone have a sense for how often LL Bean offers sitewide coupon codes? Looking to buy a pair of boots and wondering if I should wait for a 20% . . .

    1. They mostly have them on major holiday weekends- Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, etc. Even then, it’s usually only 10% off.

    2. Get on their email list and you’ll get occasional 10-20% off coupons. Site-wide discounts for anyone who visits, though, are not common.

14. I know i’m late for today. Will repost tomorrow.

    Has anyone ever had a “Charlotte” moment from s and the city? I’m referring to how Charlotte always had an image of the dream guy, but then ended up with someone who didn’t fit that list…

    Basically, I have a friend who I know liked me a couple of years ago when we met ( and I think continued to like me this whole time…). He’s just not my type. But really nice and wonderful so I continued to hang out with him as a friend. But in the last 6 or so months, I kept wondering if I had a crush on him. Long story short, a couple of weeks ago he kissed me. And I was kinda surprised that I liked it. But ever since, I’ve been panicking a bit that he’s not my type and that I’m not really attracted to him physically. I really adore his company, but when I look at pictures of him I don’t necessarily think oh man he’s so hot…In person, I feel more attracted to him based more on our interactions / how we fit together.

    I should also note I have a history of panicking when I start things with a guy and “convincing” myself I don’t like him. Only later to regret having ended the relationship. So I guess I’m looking for any advice? Right now my strategy is to keep going until the point that I don’t want to do this anymore. But then my anxiety gets the best of me…

    1. Aw. I think this sounds nice! Attraction based on how you interact with each other and how you fit together sounds like my ideal.

    2. Do not settle.

    3. I was in a relationship in college/early working years with a guy who was an absolute a$$. After we broke up, I met The Nicest Man Alive. (I’m not kidding.) The first time I met him, I actually thought he was unattractive, but I loved the way we clicked. He was so unbelievably kind and gentle and affectionate and romantic that I looked past the fact that he didn’t do it for me at all physically. Fast forward, and we get married. Fast forward more, and we get divorced.

       He just wasn’t right for me. I wasn’t physically attracted to him, which made sex meh in the beginning and then after a while I just had no interest whatsoever. His super kind personality, which was such a balm to my heart initially, started to wear on me because I’m an (points to site header) overachieving chick and needed a partner with strong drive and ambition. The ultimate decision to break up came over children – my heart and soul just could not get on board with the idea of kids with this guy, no matter how much I cared about him. (And after a while, btw, the personality mismatch became apparent to him, too. Our divorce was mutual and amicable.)

       We are the best of friends today. We talk for about an hour each month and it’s like catching up with an old friend. And we probably should have stayed just that – friends.

       Imagine yourself having kids with him. If you’re honest with yourself, does the thought turn you off? Then don’t continue.

15. Hi! I know this post was a while ago, but I’m looking for recommendations for a light weight, professional watch. I have tendonitis so the usual professional watches, and the all-metal ones that slide around a bit cause me wrist pain within a few hours. I can’t take my phone with me in half the areas my work takes me, and most all of the wall clocks are horribly maintained.

    Any tips? Thanks!

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