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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 148 Comments · by

Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Ripple Striped Ribbon Cardigan

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. M Missoni Ripple Striped Ribbon CardiganBergdorf Goodman has a ton of nice pieces on sale right now (up to 65% off!). For this lovely, sunny Monday morning (yaaaaay!), I'm liking this classic Missoni cardigan. I love the vertical ripples and waves of colors — so flattering and interesting. (There is a matching shell, also on sale, if you're interested in a very classic twinset look.)  I'd wear this with black, white (how great would this look with a white sheath beneath it?), and, if worn with separates, I'd add a pop of light blue — on the weekends I think it would be great with a white tank and light blue denim skinnies, for example. The sweater was $595, but is now marked to $357 at Bergdorf. M Missoni Ripple Striped Ribbon Cardigan Here's a similar plus-size option, as well as a more affordable option in regular sizes (and petite and plus sizes). Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-all)

Sales of note for 9.16.24

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Comments

  1. Houda

    I feel like the Missoni iconic prints are better suited for interior décor or for apparel in smaller sizes like clutches and shawls.
    TJ:
    I took 2 weeks off to rest and sort my life out. Things are much smoother at home so I am doing my homework in view of career switch.
    I have found a suit for my size and the store had an assigned tailor who nipped it for me to fit better. It is light gray as they only had a summer collection but better than nothing.
    I am extensively researching my options though I haven’t applied yet.
    I now have 3 questions:
    1- Are backpacks a 100% no-go for client meetings in a management consulting setting? Even if I carry it by hand before entering the meeting? Think heavy thick HP computer + accessories not those sleek macbooks. My friends in IT consulting carry backpacks but I am aiming for a different field.
    2- Business travel related: Anyone familiar with a brand called: Knomo London? I am considering investing in one of their small carry ons for 1-2 days trips and was also looking at their Beauchamps backpack. Trying to find options besides the ubiquitous Tumi (some of their backpacks are an eyesore).
    3- I am black and have very coily hair (4A type) that is a pain to put in bun and looks disheveled and frizzy after 10 minutes. How bad would it be to wear my natural hair in European country with a formal suit, keeping everything else very formal i.e. clean makeup, minimal accessories.
    My hair falls down to shoulder length in tight spirals because it’s weighted – It never goes up in an Afro. To have an idea, you can look up naptural85 photos on ggl.

    • BB

      As an ex-management consultant, I’d say avoid the backpacks if you can. I would opt for one of those shoulder computer bags (that’s pretty much what everyone carried with our big Thinkpads). There’s very few ways to make a backpack look not out of place with a suit. If you really need the backpack straps, maybe try to find something that is convertible?

      • Houda

        I don’t really need backpacks (no medical reason).
        I’m just preparing my budget and shopping list for the career switch so would like to know whether to invest in a backpack or instead go for a large tote to shove my computer in. I am slowly changing my wardrobe as part of the prep.

      • roses

        Yeah I’d say if you really can’t fit everything in a tote or a satchel-style computer bag, go for a rolling case.

    • Sakina

      Houda, I occasionally get an image of commenters in my mind based on their name. Since I know someone named Houda who is a fair-skinned Lebanese girl with a headscarf, this is basically what I was imagining when I have read your posts in the past. Now I have a totally different image! I looked up the naptural85 images and I think that type of hair is so gorgeous! I think your natural hair should be fine with a formal suit as long as it looks neat with enough product in it that the curls look nice and sleek, vs. frizzy in all directions. Although I’d be interested to hear the experience of others with this type of hair. Have they experienced any negative perceptions?

      I would also like to thank the commenters from the weekend open thread who posted their schedules. I am going to print them up and post them for inspiration. I have no kids, no dog, and no job (looking). Still, I am having a lot of difficulty with motivation and structuring my day and getting the work and exercise done that I want to get done. I am going to try out one or two of your schedules and think of you amazing ladies while I search for a job. Fake it till you make it, right?

      • Houda

        haha I also have a mental image of many of the members here.
        I have also read every single schedule and decided to copy few things as prep so even if I don’t have enough workload, I’d be reading books just to get used to the mental effort.
        In my region it’s very uncommon to see my hair type, this is why I am looking at foreign inspiration.

    • Anon

      Everyone I work with wears backpacks with suits, but I do consulting that is in a tech field so ymmv. I have a rolling laptop case that has a small luggage section – it is perfect for 1-2 day trips. I can fit everything and just wheel (or carry) it wherever – it even fits under an airline seat. I think it’s samsonite – something mobile office?

    • Anon

      #3

      Moisturizing products followed by a sealing oil might help so that your hair is not frizzing to absorb moisture from the air.

      Maybe 1/2 up 1/2 down could work as an easier form of hair taming?

      -4C person

    • West Coast

      In management consulting, would recommend against a backpack. I’d go for a tote that has computer bag properties; TUMI has a lot of good options. For your suitcase, I’d go for a Briggs & Rliey or a TUMI. They are ubiquitous with consultants, but that’s because they hold up for every week travel and have strong functionality.

    • Anon in Europe

      Please do wear your hair naturally. What you described sounds like it would look great!

      I have a small briefcase and an ipad cover from Knomo. The quality is fine, but I haven’t really liked any of their more recent bags. I’m in a different field than you and have a big TUMI tote that looks nice but is way too heavy to carry when I have a computer with me. In that case, I just use a rolling business bag.

    • Serafina

      Late to the game – but while I’d agree that you don’t want to carry a backpack to a management consulting meeting, I wouldn’t worry about your “gear” until you get the job. Sometimes your company will give you a briefcase in your training (I got one when I started) that a lot of people will continue to use. As for the suitcase, fancy brands like Tumi and Briggs&Riley are popular, but if you are on your budget, there is nothing wrong with a standard inexpensive black Samsonite or something similar.
      TLDR; don’t worry about the backpack and suitcase until you get the job.

    • sweetknee

      I think it looks like a cardigan version of Bill Cosby’s sweaters on The Cosby Show in the late 1980s/early 1990s.

      • Meg Murry

        That was my thought too. I’m sure there are people who can pull this look off and not look like Bill Cosby – I am not one of them.

      • Diana Barry

        +1. TBH, all of Missoni looks like that to me – I just don’t like it.

        • cbackson

          Not to mention that it is horrifyingly snag-able. It always looks like you wouldn’t even get out of the store without snagging the delicate knit.

  3. Veronica Mars

    I have three months off before my first real job after graduation starts. In the mean time, I’ll be working part time (2x week) but what should I do in the interim? I’ll have so much more free time. My first instincts were: clean and get in shape. I want to do a Konmari declutter of my whole life. I might also get an unlimited Yoga pass and go to the studio every day. (I’m a beginner at Yoga but I really need to work on my flexibility). I looked into ClassPass but it doesn’t make sense for my city since most of the studios are pretty far from me. Other thoughts/ideas?

      • Ellen

        Yay! Pricey Monday’s! I love pricey Monday’s and this Cardigan, tho it is to old fashion for me to wear around work. This is something that Madeline could wear, b/c it is more for someone her age. Also, it look’s to tuchus-hugging for my taste’s.

        As for the OP, congrat’s on getting a real job. Forget about food. You should get in shape NOW, b/c if youre sitting alot on the job like me, in a few year’s you will have a big bagel tuchus that will NOT be easy to get rid of. You also need to find a boyfreind now that you are young and in better shape. And make sure your boyfriend does more then want to poke you with his winkie day and night. You want a guy that respects you for your INTELLECT, and can discuss world politic’s with you. FOOEY if he does NOT have much brain’s upstairs.

        I have found that once I hit 30 and was not married, men looked at me ONLEY for a quickie, and NOT for anything more. The younger one’s (less then 25) look at me like a cougar which is for women over 40 mom says who are divorced and are looking for men with strong bodies and winkie’s to satisfy them after their hubbie’s petered out downstair’s. Whether this is true or not I am not sure, but I know that Sheketovits’s winkie was pretty much like overcooked linguini most of the time, and he was LESS then 40, but he was a heavy drinker. FOOEY! And Doubel FOOEY on overcooked linguini!

        Myrna’s freind keeps ooogleing me. He is suposed to be HER boyfreind, but he is VERY suggestive. I think he think’s I am a cougar, (which I am NOT) and that he is the guy to calm me down sexueally. FOOEY on that. I could not even imageine haveing sex with him. I think Myrna DID have some kind of sex with him b/c she said he was VERY dull with all of his huffeing and puffeing. I did NOT want to discuss specific’s with her about him b/c he is goofy.

        This week, I have 15 cases to bring to the court for status conference’s. That mean’s I have75 hours of billeing’s even tho I will bring all of them down on Wednesday with Mason and be done in mabye 2 hour’s tops! I will let Mason carry all the files. At least he will be good for something other then keeping Lynn busy at night.

        Kat, you are right! It is a nice day in NYC! YAY!!!!!

    • First Year Anon

      All of that sounds good! I would also suggest getting any type of annual appointment done and out of the way even if it’s a bit early to do so. Do any hemming or repairs on shoes that needs to be done.

      • Veronica Mars

        This is a great idea! I can already think of 2 appointments that I need to knock out! And I have a huge pile for the tailors.

        • Ciao, pues

          Small edit on the appointments thing: if it is indeed a bit early check with your insurance to make sure it will be covered. Lots of insurances will only cover routine appointments once every x months so if you’re early, could end up being all out of pocket!

    • Meg Murry

      Visit with friends and family – if you are only working 2x a week you could make a long weekend at least of visiting people if you don’t now live near where your family is, or if you have friends that live further away. Depending on your job/industry you might not be able to get enough time off at Thanksgiving and/or Christmas to make a long trip “home” for those first few years, so do it now.

      Do you need to take some kind of professional exam as part of your new career or get some kind of industry certification (bar exam, PE license, CPA exam, 6 sigma/Lean training etc)? Look into it and whether you should study or take some kind of brush up online course (for instance, if you are going to be doing 6 Sigma training as part of your new job, reviewing an online statistics course would be a good idea).

      Other thoughts:
      -Make a list of all the books you’ve been wanting to read and take the time to read them. Include both heavy literature and non-fiction and “fluff” that you find enjoyable even if it isn’t deep reading
      -Take a cooking class, knitting class or some other kind class on something you’ve wanted to learn but never had the time. Or maybe the daily Yoga class you mentioned above will fill this need.
      -If you still have health insurance, get all your annual exams out of the way – physical, OBGYN, dental cleaning, optometrist, dermatologist, anyone else you see for prescriptions etc – you don’t want to waste your few vacation days on this stuff your first year.

      • Meg Murry

        Oh, and RE: konmari method – if you have a lot of items (clothes, etc) that you don’t know if they will be appropriate in your new job, and you have space for it, I’ve found putting things in what I refer to as “time capsules” helps. I put all of my “maybes” in a separate place (spare closet if you have one, or totes/storage containers) and inventory them, and then put a date of 6 months-1 year on them. If I am tempted to go shopping because I am bored and want something “new” or if I think “gosh, this outfit would be better with a black skirt” I first check my inventory sheet before I let myself go out and shop. Then after the 6 months or 1 year is up, those items get donated – but I do NOT let myself browse through them again, which sometimes means having my husband be the one doing the donating instead of me. This also works for items that are just a little too small – if they don’t fit one year later, by the time they do fit the style will probably be off anyway, so better to let them go than have a whole closet of “too skinny” clothes – if I get back down to that size, I’ll let myself buy new clothes!

        One other thing you could do now since you have time is explore consignment and goodwill type places to build up a work wardrobe. I don’t know how many will still have their fall/winter stuff out instead of just summer/spring, but you can save a lot of money on work basics if you have the time to comb through resale shops – but it takes lots of time and patience to find those needles in the giant haystacks.

      • Veronica Mars

        Thanks for these suggestions! I actually did a good bulk of visiting family during the school year because I had a flexible schedule and assumed I’d be working May-onward, but I’ll try and think of anyone else I should try to see. I don’t think I have any particular exams/certifications for my industry, but I’ll look into it.

        And that’s a great idea with the Konmari! I’m not sure exactly what to wear for the new job (it’s on the spectrum of business casual to full on casual), so I’ll put aside some pieces just in case they become useful. I do have a fantastic thrift store in my town; I should make an effort to stop by regularly to help fill in any gaps!

    • Anon

      Relax and enjoy it! If I had months off, I’d go on leisurely bike rides to farmer’s markets and coffee shops, read a lot, garden, sit in the park, row around at my local lake, go shopping, visit local attractions, and do a lot of fun classes like yoga.

      On another note, if you want to improve your flexibility, the Lastics videos are great.

    • Anonymous

      F cleaning and chores. You have your whole life for that. How about you do some day drinking? Go hiking, hit the beaches, visit friends, read books, make complicated recipes etc?

      Tidying shouldn’t be more than a few days of effort anyway. Maybe watch 90210 reruns?

    • Former Partner, Now In-House

      I’m torn betweem:

      1. Read every book you’ve ever wanted, eat lots of chocolate and drink lots of wine, do yoga when you want; and

      2. Declutter your wardrobe and your life maintenance/financial stuff and set up a life maintenance schedule that will work once you start your job (ie, when do you balance checkbook, pay bills, grocery shop, do laundry).

      • Baconpancakes

        Decluttering and setting up life maintenance stuff shouldn’t take more than a week, tops.

        • Veronica Mars

          Yes! I’m hoping it’ll just be a big three-day project, but I desperately want to get rid of all my clutter, especially since I can finally get rid of the millions of school books/papers I have lying around.

    • (Former) Clueless Summer

      I reallllly wish I had used my time off after law school (or basically any of the time I had before biglaw) to work out. So, lots of yoga, join a gym and get into a routine, hike, bike, walk. Enjoy the outside – get a tan, sit outside all day on a blanket, just be generally lazy. Cook and shop leisurely. Get all doctor and dentist appointments out of the way, banking stuff, anything that would be inconveninent to do with a full time job where you can’t leave 9-5.

    • Anon in NYC

      Take a road trip. The best thing I did between law school and starting my job was to go on the road for about 2 months. It coincided with my lease ending, so I figured that if I could stay in motels/vacation rentals for less than or equal to what my rent was, I could make it work financially. I saw parts of the country I’d never seen before and parts that I can’t wait to go back to, and it was something that I will never get to do again until I retire.

    • LilyS

      Any health stuff. I’ve had a minor throat operation that’s needed doing since I was 16 and although it’s minor the recovery can be up to a month so I’ve never been able to get it done. It’s already scheduled in for next summer, after graduation.

      • Meg Murry

        Similar to this – wisdom teeth. If they need taken out, now’s a good time to do it.

        • LilyS

          And the best thing is, it’s an excuse for loads of Netflix and knitting time afterwards!

      • Veronica Mars

        Good idea! I got my wisdom teeth out when I was 15 (yes, seriously, my mom wanted me to get them out as soon as they would let me), but I’ll see if there’s anything else I can get done. I really, really want LASIK but I might be too young.

        • Anonymous

          That is crazy to me. I’m 34 and still have my wisdom teeth. They’ve just never really poked through. I’m keeping them at this point. I just don’t understand why people take them out UNLESS they actually start to hurt/create problems.

          • Anonymous

            They cause crowding and movement of your other teeth, even if it doesn’t “hurt.” People who spent years in braces (at a cost of thousands to their parents) don’t really want to have that reversed because of wisdom teeth. If you don’t get them removed, you have to wear retainers for the rest of your life to prevent that kind of movement back. No thanks (and permanent retainers are highly discouraged by dental hygienists because they make such a good base camp for plaque and bacteria).

            I don’t understand why people *don’t* get them out. Mine took under 2 hours. I did it in the summer in high school and missed zero time from activities, and it was a simple procedure in my regular dentist’s office because I had them done when recommended instead of waiting until they became so entrenched in my mouth that an oral surgeon was required.

          • PinkKeyboard

            Mine all came through and my dentist said they are fine. I use them to chew. I guess this isn’t normal?

          • Veronica Mars

            Yeah, after I’d gotten them out my mom mentioned that it took them a lot longer than normal because my teeth were “really in there.” I think she just thought since I was in high school, summer vacation would be the best time. I also only had 2 teeth to be removed, so it wasn’t so bad.

        • Mpls

          Too young for LASIK? I think the limitation is you need to have had a stable prescription, which is somewhat age related, but not totally dependent. You might as well have a consultation done, if you’ve got the money to spend on it. I had it done in my early 20s, as did each of my brothers, to correct for near-sightedness.

  4. Anon

    How do you get toothpaste stains off of a black dress? I keep thinking I’m washing it off and then 20 minutes later, I look down and there it is again.

    • brokentoe

      Chances are with all the bleaching agents in toothpaste these days, you won’t get the stains out. The toothpaste has effectively bleached your black dress. That’s why I try to brush my teeth before I’m dressed after doing this to a number of garments. :(

    • Also in Academia

      If you haven’t bleached it, try baby wipes. They get a lot of stuff out!

  5. Asideralis

    Does anyone here have an idea if culottes are professional? I’m curious to try wearing them, but I feel that they’re just… too much. And they come in such bizarre prints. I can’t wrap my head around them.

    My go-to outfits are always pencil skirts or sheath dresses. Culottes appeal to me because they look like skirts, but are actually pants (and I hate pants, because I don’t like my upper thigh area to be highlighted).

    If you ladies have any hints as to how to wear them or which ones to buy, I’d be much obliged!

    • Veronica Mars

      I’d say, no, not professional unless you’re in a casual office in the Deep South and it’s August and everyone else is wearing flip flops. If you’re looking for a change/something cooler in the warmer weather, look for an a-line skirt that has a lot of movement. If you got it in black with a great fabric, it would be 10x more professional than culottes but you’d still have some nice “airflow” and better comfort than a pencil skirt.

    • Anon

      They are definitely not professional and add about 100lbs to each thigh. Avoid them.

    • Diana Barry

      No. Just wear a fuller skirt. No culottes at the office. UNLESS you work at Vogue.

    • Asideralis

      Haha, okay. I’ll just stick with my typical uniform.

      I’m a software engineer, so I have a lot of leeway with what I wear. But! I prefer to be on the dressier side of things just in case I want to start interviewing elsewhere. That, and I find that I’m treated better by my (predominantly male) peers if I am dressed to a higher level than them.

      Thanks, ladies!

    • CountC

      One of our CSRs wears them regularly. I love them, but I work in a position where I want to be taken seriously and I don’t think culottes give off that impression. Perfect for weekend winery trips though!

    • Houda

      I have seen many culottes at Banana Republic and I think they are too fashion forward. On my frame, they hit at a very unflattering midcalf and just look a bit weird overall.
      I have no dress code but tend to dress up and I don’t see myself wearing such an item to work (same for capris).

  6. Anon for this - health question

    So I mysteriously seem to be gaining weight. At a rather alarming (to me) rate. Since February, I’ve gained about 8 pounds. With no change in my eating habits and an increase in working out (but I don’t think it’s muscle). I’m in my mid-30s. Have one child and lost all the baby weight and then some from b-feeding. I weaned nearly a year ago though. I expected some weight gain with that, but I wuold have expected it to have leveled out a few months ago. The extra 8 is up from my pre-baby weight. Before you jump on me, I know I need to see a doctor and have made an appointment, but my normal PCP retired and since I’m finding a new one, the appointment isn’t for 3 weeks. Just any ideas as to what could cause this? I’d WebMD-it, but that always scares me…

    • Veronica Mars

      It’s probably either snacking or you’re drinking extra calories (in coffees, smoothies, etc). I’d really watch yourself and see if you’re mindlessly grazing throughout the day. You could also be really bloated/retaining water, so maybe keep hydrated and see if that helps?

      • Wildkitten

        This. It’s really easy to eat extra when you’re working out extra – so you’re probably eating in more extra calories than you’re burning out.

    • Anonymous

      Wine. Chocolate. Carbs. Salt. Age.

      You’re probably not about to die of something weird. When you gain 8 pounds usually it’s a bundt cake not the revenge of your identical twin who now lives in your neck as a tumor with teeth and a spinal cord.

    • Diana Barry

      Have you actually been eating the same things, exactly? When I gain a few pounds I think back and it is almost always because I have been eating more dessert or more pastries at the office or the kids’ leftover mac & cheese or something else.

      I would get your thyroid checked at your PCP just to be sure, esp if you have related symptoms like being cold all the time, brain fogginess, tiredness, etc., that could indicate hypothyroid.

    • Asideralis

      I would assume that you are either eating more than you previously have been or you are burning less calories. Or both. Maybe cut a bit back on what you have been eating and/or bump up your exercise routine.

      8 lbs is fairly reasonable to gain since February if you haven’t been on top of your diet.

      • Carrie..

        +1 agree

        I have easily gained 8lbs in that time period without a dramatic change in my activity/diet. Sad but true. Sometimes just adding that morning bagel/donut etc… can have an amazing affect, unfortunately. And most of us gain during the winter months. At least I hope I’m not the only one….

    • ADE

      Thyroid issues often emerge after post-partum. Your MD can easily test for it and it’s easily remedied with medication.

      • Batgirl

        +1. That sounds like hypothyroidism to me. If so, you can take meds and bring your thyroid levels back to where they should be pretty quickly.

    • Anonymous

      I gained 20 lbs in a short period of time last year (3 months). Turns out it was just my food habits, and since I’ve become more diligent, it’s all come back off (though it took around 6 months…).

      It’s really hard to do enough activity to compensate for too much food- running 1 miles burns around 100 calories, it’s much easier to just cut portion sizes. When I become more active, I need to be extra careful, because I get hungrier than the extra calories I burn.

    • bridget

      If you are in the Northeast, it could be the season. I kept gaining weight (despite working out more and eating a very healthy diet), and a woman who works in a clothing store said that almost all of her customers have gained a dress size around their hips this winter. Exceptionally cold winter, slow spring, snow throughout April, trees just starting to bloom now – don’t discount hibernation weight.

    • Anon for this - health question

      Thanks all. You’ve made me feel better. I’ll talk to the doc about this and specifically ask about getting my thyroid checked, but it sounds like maybe I need to exercise more portion control and mindful eating before I totally freak out.

      • Anonymous

        One other option: Is your kiddo on solids now, and are you “cleaning up”/mindlessly snacking on the food he/she isn’t eating or is left over after the baby eats?

    • TO Lawyer

      It probably is just mindless eating although I will say don’t webMD it! WebMD is alarmist and for some reason, always tells me my symptoms are lyme disease.

    • Wild Chicken

      This happened to me, but I’m older than you are– 47. I haven’t gotten a definitive answer, but I think for me it’s hormonal changes in conjunction with undisciplined eating, which I have now modified and am slowly getting it off. But I also found out I was Vitamin D deficient (very), which may make a difference. So I’d suggest you check your vitamin D levels and if you’re deficient, try to remedy that problem. I’ve had 2 docs who disagree on whether that can cause weight gain; whatever the case, it can cause you to not feel 100% which may lead you to overeat and/or not want to exercise.

    • Have you switched meds lately?

      This happened to me. It turns out it was a switch in my birth control pill. I tried a new one and gained 10+ pounds in a couple months. Within 2 months of switching back, I’m at my original weight with no change in diet or exercise.

  7. Tan pants help?

    Revisiting my search for trouser style tan pants now that warmer weather’s here- looking for business casual dress pants or khakis that are cut for those with junk in the trunk! Everything I’ve looked at is ok from front and side but fits too snug in the seat in a not flattering way- with darker colors this doesn’t matter so much but with khaki- bad! Size 10 or 12. With my success rate I don’t want to order online.
    FYI Talbots has some nice khaki’s for those with a straighter figure! TIA…

    • Pear

      I have had good luck with BR (strangely, not in their curvy cuts) and with LE (fit 2) and the Halogen Taylor Pants. And nothing else. I am sometimes too cheap to nip in the waists on these a little, but they have been fine off the rack or out of the box with not the enormous waist-hip disparities that I’ve been used to (or the seat area just really fighting you with not enough ease).

      I feel that khakis look horrible on me. The pants I have from the above list are black / gray / tan but not khakis.

      • Tan pants help?

        Thanks. I’m near a nordstrom- I’ll check out Halogen Taylor’s and venture into BR too. I agree- curvy often look the worst on me! Probably khaki is asking too much- I’ll gladly settle for tan.

    • New England Recommendations

      The BR Sloan fit pants are very stretchy. I’m not sure how far they stretch, but I really like them and find them to be very comfortable

      • mascot

        I like my BR Sloans, although they are pretty fitted on me in the rear and it’s obvious in the stone color I have. I try to wear them with longer tops if going to work. The Marisa pants from Loft fit me and they usually have a trouser style. For causal chino fabric pants, Old Navy has some comfortable fits.

    • Meg Murry

      Not sure if these are too casual for you – its a 5-pocket, jeans like cut that is slim in the backside but not tight. I wear them in a “one step up from jeans” setting. I wear the women’s sizes, but I’ve heard from others that JNY is usually a pear-friendly cut:

      http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/jones-new-york-signature-lexington-straight-leg-pants?ID=826368

      the Macy’s in my area carried them in store, at least last year they did. Also availble online at Lord and Taylor, so maybe in store – link to follow

    • Laura

      Thanks for posting this – I have the same body shape and same khaki pant struggles! Will also look into the suggestions.

  8. Knitting!

    Any recommendations for free online tutorials (YouTube?) for learning to knit? I learn best by reading, but I recognize that reading how to knit won’t work. My thought is videos with lots of narration/explanation would be better for me the ones that just show you how to do a stitch. I have joined Ravelry, but find it very overwhelming. Thanks!

    • Mpls

      As someone who taught herself to knit this winter with online resources…I have no specific recommendations. I just Googled terms and tried a few videos until something made sense.

      As a beginner I will say, you probably just need to know 3 things, and then practice a lot. All knit stitches are a combination of knit and purl, so learn how they differ (they are the backwards version of each other). Learn how to:
      1. Cast on – there are a few different techniques (long tail, from a tied loop, etc.), so figure out which one you like best
      2. Purl
      3. Knit
      4. eventually, how to cast off.

      For 2 and 3 – pay attention to how you are looping the yarn around the needle, and pay attention to how the stitches look when on your needle.

      • NOLA

        Eventually, you’ll need to learn how to pick up a dropped stitch, etc. But Mpls is right, these are the basics. I’ve also used the swatch method (not trying to knit a garment, just making a square) to learn new techniques like lace and cable.

    • Knitter

      Is there a yarn store near you? They usually are great for this.

      Otherwise, I’d recommend doing a 10-stitch row (and counting stitches every row) until you get it right. Knitting is not fun or relaxing, but if you can master 10, you can master a lot more. Good luck!

    • Seattle Freeze

      I don’t have any YouTube recommendations, but I would suggest trying different styles of knitting when you do get started. In Continental-style knitting, you hold the yarn in your left hand, and sort of scoop up the yarn with the right-hand needle; in English-syle knitting, you carry the yarn in your right hand, and wrap or “throw” it around the right needle. One of these techniques is likely to feel more natural or comfortable than the other. I tried many times to learn to knit with no success at all, until I found a tutorial illustrating English-style knitting, and then it just clicked.

      You might check with a local yarn shop for beginning knitting classes – and if you’re in the PNW, I can point you to some good ones. Good luck!

    • Knit, knit, purl

      I am also one that prefers to learn by reading, and I would have a hard time learning from a video. I re-taught myself to knit a few years back by using a book geared towards kids. The descriptions were simple and the photos kept me on the right track.

      Knittinghelp dot com does have videos that are useful, and I will watch those if I am stuck.

    • LilyS

      Some books have very good instructions in – I learnt primarily from books, back in the day (actually about 2003 but I didn’t have internet access or knitters around). Go to a book store and physically browse through the different books, looking at the technique sections.

    • Emily

      Honestly, a friend to cast on a scarf, then just making the scarf (or hat) is how I learned.

      I would do projects in this order:

      1. scarf or plain wrist warmer (knit stitch)
      2. a ribbed item (hat? wrist warmer?) (knit and purl stitch)
      3. knitting in the round (baby hat)
      4. triangle scarf (adding and decreasing)
      5. something with lace

      I might have stayed on item 2 for a long long time making hats for everyone!

      • Meg Murry

        Or even easier than a scarf, I learned using cotton yarn (I think it was Sugar and Cream? something like that) to make square dishcloths – they go fairly quickly, you can practice different patterns on them, and if you mess it up it’s not a big deal because the yarn is cheap.

    • Knitting!

      Thanks for all of the suggestions. Glad to know there are some good knitting books out there – any particular recommendations?

      If anyone has any recommendations for knitting stores in ATL (near Decatur specifically) I’d appreciate it. I went to Sheepish a few months ago, but they have since closed.

      • lurky-loo

        I don’t think anything is as close to Decatur as Sheepish was, but check out Needle Nook on Briarcliff Road, which has been around forever and offers classes.

    • Betsy

      I learned to knit via a book actually. For more complicated things like unusual cast-ons I will often watch a video but for the basics I found a book worked just fine. I used Debbie Stoller’s Stitch n B!tch to learn – the patterns are a bit out of date at this point but I found the rest of the book really helpful! And make sure to get on Ravelry if you haven’t already.

      • Bitter Betty

        I also learned from the Stitch ‘n B!tch book. I have used the Knitting Help and Knitting Tips by Judy videos on YouTube and recommend them. Everyone has given great advice on this thread!

    • Idea

      I got a learn-how-to-knit book from a big box craft store (Michael’s) and it worked great, with 1 or 2 mentoring sessions (I went to a women’s college…)

    • Best Coast

      I learned to knit (again, after my mother taught me years ago and I since forgot) by watching this video and pausing as needed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONVQCK_-rKc

      Also, search pinterest. There are a ton of tutorials and written instructions for every type of stitch and project imaginable!

  9. New England Recommendations

    I’m taking a road trip up to Maine this summer with my boyfriend and we have a day or two before and after our reservation to explore. We were thinking about stopping at Dorset Quarry in Vermont en route to Burlington, then driving through New Hampshire via Mount Washington to Portland, ME before heading up to Acadia for a week.

    On the way back, we have absolutely no plans – I have heard that Newport, RI is nice, but looking at hotels it seems like it might be really stuffy. Does anyone have a favorite place to visit that they’d recommend?

    • Kelly Andthenblog

      Newport is awesome, but the hotel game can get expensive. If you can, try an AirBNB or an actual b and b instead. The locals love Broadway, so it will be a little less expensive! Friends of ours run an inn near Broadway, still totally accessible for hitting the things you’ll want to see. Windsome dot com

      • Anne

        Newport is not stuffy! I agree with Kelly and the blog, there is a great restaurant scene on Broadway, and the Mansions are reasonable and taking a ride on Ocean Drive or following the cliff walk is free. So much to do and see and before Memorial Day is perfect.

    • Diana Barry

      Where are you coming from? I would just be aware that Burlington to Portland via Mt Washington is a really long drive – about 6 hrs and maybe more depending on the route you take.

      If you want to stop near Portland, Freeport is just up 295 and has the giant LL Bean store and lots of great outlet shopping. In Acadia, I like to go to the Jordan Pond House (make a reservation!) for popovers and then in Bar Harbor, to Ben & Bill’s for ice cream and dinner at Havana.

    • Clementine

      Maine Based Recommendations: Great places for food (in this order)

      1) Bagaduce Lunch, Brooksville, ME: It’s DEFINITELY off the beaten path, but it’s about an hour or so out of Acadia. Best lobster roll of your life and a lovely view. Bring a bottle of wine, grab a picnic table and enjoy. There is a reversing falls there which is cool.

      2) Young’s Lobster Pound, Belfast, ME: You go there for the shore dinner. It’s excellent. Belfast is a nice town and a good place to stretch your legs that’s roughly halfway between Portland and Acadia/Bar Harbor.

      3)In Portland, Grace for cocktails/to feel classy (look it up! it’s AWESOME), Bintliff’s for Breakfast/Brunch (expect a wait, but they give you coffee while you wait) and Duck Fat for sandwiches/fries made in Duck Fat. You’re welcome.

  10. Advice re Proposing a new Work Arrangement

    Ladies,
    I am currently a full time associate in Big Law. My spouse’s job is being transferred to a new city, a plane ride away, from where we currently live. My firm does not have an office in the new city. I’d like to tell the partners I work with that I will be leaving by fall, and propose that I continue working for them from my new home. They are old school (i.e., not very tech savvy), so I don’t know if this will work for them, but they have worked closely with lawyers in other offices. Difference here is that I won’t be in a firm office. Thoughts on how to raise this? Should I propose we do it as a trial period (i.e., until end of year or something) so we can reassess how it’s working? I am also worried about not getting enough hours if I’m not in the office, but I don’t know if I should propose a reduced schedule – I fear that it will seem like I’m not committed, and then they might be hesitant about trying to do the long-distance thing. Appreciate any advice you have!!

    • Maddie Ross

      What area do you practice? This is obviously an easier proposal if you’re in certain types of transactional work than litigation. I am familiar with several people I know doing such a thing, but generally they are (1) expected to be back in the home office a certain amount each month, and (2) usually they step “off track” for partnership. Also, is the move permanent or just temporary? Firms are usually more forgiving of this type of set-up if it’s temporary.

      • Advice re Proposing a new Work Arrangement

        It is litigation and very specialized counseling. It is technically temporary, but we are hoping it might turn into permanent if we like it there and there are other job opportunities for him. I’m not barred in the new state, but my firm has two partners in that state who work from their homes there. So I don’t think there would be an issue on the taxes. The partner I work directly for is also barred in that state, and I’m in the process of waiving in, so we should be okay from a licensing standpoint.

        Part of why I want to try working remotely is that the job market in the new place isn’t great right now for litigation, and I don’t want to just settle at a smaller firm that I don’t actually want to work at. I don’t know. I’m really conflicted about how to approach all of this.

        • Maddie Ross

          If the taxes aren’t an issue and there are other people that do it, I’d say the chances are better than they may otherwise be. From a litigation perspective though, I’d give some consideration as to how you will handle travel for court appearances, depositions and the like. Perhaps you’re in a practice with this is rare or limited and you’re mostly in federal court, but I’d think through the time and cost issues related to such appearances.

    • Coach Laura

      I posted a response here to this question before, and my advice is to prepare a proposal and present it as a business arrangement with positives to your manager and addressing as many negatives as possible up-front. You may want to prepare a memo, a presentation or an outline via powerpoint.

      Address how often and via what method you will communicate with the main office, how often you’ll visit (and be ready to address who will pay the costs of the visit), the benefits to the firm (e.g. they don’t have to hire and train a replacement and get your wonderful skills), how you’ll handle problems, how this will affect others in the office. Outline your individual duties and how this might affect the outcomes and how to minimize any negative impact. Emphasize your commitment to making everything work. Suggest a nine- to twelve-month trial as it may take six months for everyone to get used to the routine.

    • Mo

      Are you planning to come back to your current location in the near future? If not, think very hard about whether trying this arrangement is the right move. In fact, even if you are thinking about returning and want to go back to your current firm, you might get better experience with an in-house position for the duration. I strongly recommend focusing on using your firm’s contacts to find a new job in your new city instead of trying to work out a remote work situation that would be longer than a year.

      From your firm’s perspective, they are going to be (justifiably) concerned if your move would open them up to additional tax requirements or potential licensing issues. Are you admitted to the bar in your new location? If not, read up on what you’d need to do to get qualified. Does your firm already have an office in the state you’re moving to? If not, having you working remotely would mean they’d need to worry about payroll taxes in that state and, potentially, having to pay additional taxes or make additional filings. This is not your issue to work out, but keep in mind that an initial favorable response from the partners you work with might get shot down by the firm administration.

    • Anonymous

      I was in your shoes. I asked and they initially seemed open to it but then decided tax issues made it too complicated (because my firm does not have an office in my new state). It doesn’t hurt to ask though. I agree you should have a detailed plan about how it will work and I think suggesting a trial period is not a bad idea either. Good luck!

  11. eie

    Sorry in advance for the essay! I’ve been in New Job for 6 months: is this just a case of buyer’s remorse, or is it worth entertaining the idea that I could go back to Old Job? Here’s what’s happening:

    -left job 6 months ago because of Evil-Director, who came on after I joined the department.
    -3 months ago, Evil-Director was fired, and Awesome-Mentor is taking over as interim director.
    -I met with Awesome-Mentor and she told me she may go for permanent as director, depending on work-life balance issues.
    -The much needed department restructuring is still in-process/on the horizon.
    -Other-coworker is pregnant and due to the restructure I think she may consider moving part-time after maternity leave.

    I left because Evil-Director+restructuring not in my favor; now that Awesome-Mentor may become the director, and the restructuring is still going on and could go in my favor, I wonder whether I should think about going back. The way the timeline is playing out it could be another 6 months until I could go there, which would put me at 1 year in my New Job. (Obviously HUGE caveat of if they want me back, but I think they might, and if Awesome-Mentor takes director role, but I think she will).

    Negatives – they could probably only match, not increase, my new salary; stigma of “job-hopping” though my particular niche has a lot of that; actual downside of having to “start over” and not getting to really dig deep into New Job because of leaving.

    Should I explore going back? If so, *when* do I bring it up with Awesome-Mentor? If not, how do I stop thinking about this? Thanks for any feedback!

    • ADE

      You haven’t mentioned anything about the New Job. What are the pros and cons of staying put?

    • Anon

      You don’t mention anything about New Job? Do you not like it? That is 50% of the equation. If it was me, I would need to really not like the New Job to take a risk like this. It sounds like Old Job is overall fairly unstable.

    • eie

      New job has lots of pros. I just got a great review. My boss and my boss’s boss like me. I honestly only work about 35 hours/week and I’m able to my job+ambitious new projects to grow. Overall the job is much less stressful.

      Cons – I feel bored and restless. Even though I’m getting my work + more done at 35 hours a week, I waste a lot of time at work doing nothing because I don’t feel motivated. It’s not depression – I’m getting a ton done in my personal life – but I think it’s that my new org doesn’t hold people to the extremely high standards of excellence that old org does, and I guess I get more of my motivation from those external factors than I realized. My boss doesn’t micromanage me and supports my decisions, but she is unorganized and a (mental, perhaps not actual) roadblock for me tackling my biggest, most ambitious projects.

      Old Job – the org itself is very stable. The department just went through a major leadership change that failed and is recovering from that, so I think they will become more stable once that is taken care of.

      • Anonypotamus

        Sounds like you’re saying that you’d basically go back to more work (albeit more challenging work) and same or less pay? Is there better upward mobility at old job? If not, I’d stay put and try to either try to increase my role at new organization, or find an alternative lateral move in a year’s time. I don’t really see any advantages to you long-term to going back.

      • Idea

        Are boomerangs common at Old Job? They are at my current job, a consulting firm, that has had maybe 10-15% of people (including my supervisor) leave & come back after however number of months & years – sometimes months, sometimes decades! Does that knowledge make a difference to you – if you’d stick out as Indecisive Person, or if you’d fit in as Another Boomerang?

        • eie

          Interesting idea – we do have several boomerangs at lower levels, but a lot of lifers at the top level, so that might be a negative.

          To Anonypotamus up above – yes, you are probably right! My ego wants to go back a little just to “win” what I wanted that they wouldn’t/couldn’t give and caused me to leave…but leaving means not having to win! I should probably let it go, but I will check in with my mentor if/when she accepts the permanent job.

    • First Year Anon

      It looks dressy enough to me! It might be a bit short for a wedding, but that depends on how it fits on you.

    • roses

      Agree, looks plenty dressy. If you want to err on the more formal side, I’d go with metallic shoes and earrings. For less formal, I’d do accessories in more of a blush color.

      • roses

        Also, not sure how familiar you are with polyvore, but if you click “styling ideas” below the dress, there are a bunch of complete outfits for inspiration!

      • Style Me, Please!

        Silver or gold or something else? I have a pair of patent leather pewter open toe pumps and dangly silver and crystal tassel style earrings, but am open to buying new shoes.

  13. Email Offer

    Hi all – Husband got an offer for a position he is really excited about. It’s a very small company, and the cover email states that “Company X is excited to make you an offer of employment….” and the attachment is basically a Word document that provides an overview of compensation detail, insurance information, health benefits, and vacation time, etc.

    Husband has accepted over the phone, but should he take another step to formalize the acceptance? I.e., should he respond via email that the offer is accepted? or should he send a letter accepting the position and terms? It all moved very quickly, but he wants to make sure that he has “accepted” the position before giving notice at his current position.

    • Meg Murry

      Reply to the email and say “I’m excited to accept this offer, and want to confirm that the start date is X. Is there anything I need to sign to formally accept this offer, or will this email suffice?”

      ETA- he can also ask if there is any other paperwork or procedures he still needs to do, like if this is still contingent upon a background check or drug screen.

  14. Sad for Sheryl

    Is anyone really upset about Sheryl Sandberg’s husband? I obviously don’t know them personally, but I have followed her career since she became so famous through her book, and I sort of see her as a career role model, even though I work in big law. I am just devastated for her – it seems so unfair, why is it that the one woman who was my example for “having it all” has to go through this… it just seems too cruel, like the plot of a movie rather than real life.

    • Idea

      Yes, I’m glad you mentioned this. Her partnership in her marriage seemed very legitimate and also honest. The comments on internet news articles don’t seem to do it justice.

    • Lorelai Gilmore

      I feel the same. I think part of it is that it’s just tragic to become a widow at such a young age, and part of it is that I also sort of see her as a career role model and have no idea how I would cope with the loss of my partner.

    • kc

      Yes Yes Yes. I was really shocked and sad. My husband didn’t understand my reaction and I blurted out “she’s my role model! She’s like every professional woman’s role model!”. I think reading her book and knowing that her husband has been so instrumental in her success adds another layer too it. She’s proof that you CAN find a man who is supportive of your professional goals and family life, and is a true partner.

    • Boston Legal Eagle

      Yes, I was pretty upset when I read the news (on this site in the comments actually) even though I obviously don’t know them personally. I am still trying to figure out what happened, it seems so sudden. Although I totally support her right to privacy at this time.

    • TBK

      Yes! I was so sad. It’s just such a horrifying reminder that no matter how much you have, you can never be safe from losing what matters most.

    • Anonymous

      I have complicated emotions about it. I’m sad for her personally, and he was very young. It’s been a while since I read Lean In, but as someone whose family situation (medical reasons) makes it difficult to “lean in”, I wonder if she’d write the same book today (or in the future). I’m not even sure it’s her interpretation any more than I worry about, but the broader popular culture’s – that making a difference in the corporate world is what we should aim for, and the legacy you want to be remembered by. It seems really hard to be unchanged by a difficult circumstance like this.

      • Hollis

        I don’t understand why this tragedy doesn’t support her thesis. Being financially independent (and in her case, super wealthy) will ensure that she will be able to provide for her young children on her own, which is another reason why professional women who want to work should continue their careers and not “opt out.” I know Katie Couric has mentioned in interviews before that she feels from her own experience (her husband also died at a young age) that it is important for women to be financial independent and I for one think that Sheryl’s legacy and her work will have impacted many more women and their families in addition to the benefits to her own family.

    • mascot

      I read an interesting opinion piece (on Slate?) talking about how having leaned in may help her even now. I’ve always said that one of the reasons I want to keep up with my career is the ability to support my family if something happened to my spouse. Her financial situation is different than mine, but perhaps there is some utility and support in having a job and co-workers to focus on while working through the grief.

  15. TBK

    I feel like my grandma, but I could use some Twitter help. I’m in a job now where visibility is important and I’m trying to get better at using Twitter for this. Any tips on how to use it most effectively? Any place I could look for good advice? I don’t need the “how to post links” etc but more how to be an effective tweeter.

    • moss

      Keep your personal and professional twitter separate. Don’t post irrelevant things on your professional twitter. Try to follow people who are doing actual interesting things, not just news accounts where the stories are recycled. In other words, try to follow original sources.

      Post original, relevant thoughts and use hashtags.

      And, it will take some time to get traction. Don’t try shortcuts like buying followers, etc.

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