Open Thread: Resolutions

What Are Your New Year Resolutions? | CorporetteWhat are your resolutions for the new year, ladies? What are you hoping to change and otherwise accomplish this year? We haven’t talked about resolutions in a while, and I just randomly found my resolutions from 2006, so the subject is on my mind. My all-time favorite resolution that I ever made (and kept) was way back in college, when I resolved “to be more uncomfortable” — to challenge myself, and to challenge that feeling of “I can’t” or “I shouldn’t,” or “I feel awkward” or so forth. Fun to look at my resolutions from 2006, though:

  1. Listen more closely to people.
  2. Arrive on time for things.
  3. Arrive early for work.
  4. Continue to exercise and watch diet regularly.
  5. DATE more often.

Sadly, I’m still working on most of those — even with dating, my husband and I should make an effort to get out more often than we do as a couple! For 2014, my goals are the same as they’ve been in recent years: to eat healthier dinners, to get up earlier and work out, to be more diligent about really focusing during work time (along similar lines, to only focus on ONE thing at a time), and to be less anxious. Sigh. What are your resolutions, readers?

(Pictured: Nicolas Feuillatte champagne, originally uploaded to Flickr by Sergey Melkonov.)


  1. Anonymouse :

    Threadjack: How much did you spend and what all did you ladies do on your honeymoons? DF and I got engaged around Halloween, and we’re trying to figure out a beachy trip that doesn’t break the bank. I also know that it’s DF’s responsibility to cover the honeymoon costs, but it’s killing me to look at options and then feel like I’m spending someone else’s money. Is $3000 a reasonable figure??

    • Why is it DF’s responsibility to cover the honeymoon costs?

      • Anonymouse :

        I guess I just figured – traditionally my family and I pay for the wedding, and traditionally he pays for the rehearsal and honeymoon. Was I mistaken?

        • Did you already pre-agree to this with your DF, your family, and his family?

          If you like this tradition, and everybody else is happy with it, that’s great. But it’s generally not a good idea to assume everyone’s on-board. And there’s something to be said for questioning traditions, rather than blindly assuming that’s how it’s always gonna be.

          • Yes, exactly – tradition is not the same as the default way to do things.

        • Traditionally it would be his FAMILY paying for those things. If his family offered to pay for your honeymoon, great – discuss a budget with them. But if you two are not receiving outside contributions, it makes no sense to think of him as paying for the honeymoon on his own. People have many financial arrangements post-marriage that work for them, but the point is that you need to make those decisions together; there is no more “that’s only his money and this is only my money.”

    • Why is it his responsibility to cover the honeymoon costs? You’re getting married, so it will be both of your collective finances at stake.

      • I agree. When you get MARRIED, it is a SHAREING experience and you should NOT make him pay for everything. By the same token, you should make him pay for some things and you pay for OTHER thing’s. For example, you should continue to pay for lady thing’s–it would NOT be reasonaeable for him to start paying for Tampax but you should NOT be paying for his aftershave and other thing’s he uses to be male.

        WHEN I get MARRIED, I will go on a honeymooon to Cabo San Lucus, b/c it is suposed to be nice there and my husband will agree with me if we are to be MARRIED and go there. For now, I am happy to be here in 2014 even tho I do NOT have a boyfreind, I have a job and a nice boss and a good family releationship with mom, dad, Grandma Leyeh, Rosa, Ed and the kid’s, and even my relative’s who never did return my underwear when they stay’ed over at my place. FOOEY!

        As for Kat’s idea’s on Resolution’s they are all great idea’s that I think I will incorporeate into my own for 2014. For exameple,

        1. Listen more closely to people — I need to listen to the manageing partner so that I do everything right, and make myself even MORE indespensibel then this year (dad says)

        2. Arrive on time for things. This is also me. I am alway’s on time for court, but some times I am late for personal thing’s and this get’s my freind’s upset when they are waiting for me. I will try to be on time. Thanks, Kat!

        3. Arrive early for work. I have to do this even tho Dad make’s me walk with my fitbit and monitor’s me from his computer. I have put on I think about 8 pound’s since thanksgiving and need to walk alot b/c alot of it is in my tuchus and I have to get back into my work clothe’s ASAP! FOOEY!

        4. Continue to exercise and watch diet regularly. This is of course, me. Dad is all over me like a wet blanket about being svelte so that I can attract a guy like Ed who will MARRY me. He says that mom was lucky to snag him b/c she had a fat tuchus and it was only b/c he was in the militeary that he wanted mom then b/c he onley saw alot of men and he needed the comfort of a female’s body (which meant mom) — tho I remember the story I heard where Dad was in Europe haveing sex with pretty girl’s there as a solder I will never tell mom. FOOEY on dad for haveing sex over seas!

        5. DATE more often. This is also me. Kat is lucky she is MARRIED, so she know’s who to date and what to expect. With all the looser’s following me and wanteing to date me, I do NOT know what to expect. Unfortuneately, most men do NOT want me for a wife, just for mabye a littel sex (like that guy Clem), and that is NOT for me. I do NOT want to be married to a duck dynasty reject or have another Alan laying around the house drinkeing Bud Lite and throwing the can’s under the bed. Once I got rid of him, I stopped haveing to have the cleaneing lady scrub the floor’s to get all the beer and alchohol stink out of the rug’s. FOOEY on that and FOOEY on men that lay around drinkeing and thinkeing that b/c they provide sexual release’s for me that that allow’s them to do that. TRIPEL FOOEY! I will ONLEY date men who I can live with 24/7 and who have a great job and who can support me in my lifestyle. In exchange, for the right guy I will provide all the comfort they can handel b/c they support me.

        For now, tho, I will NOT dwell on anything b/c it is 2014, and that is great! Thank’s to the hive for their suport when I need it. YAY!!!!!

    • A Nonny Moose :

      Um, yeah, it should be a joint expenditure, especially considering that you’ll be married by the time you go. Regardless of how you decide to set up your finances, traveling together seems like something you would both chip in for.

      What are you factoring in for the $3k? That seems extremely reasonable for an all-inclusive deal; or is that just flights + hotel? How long of a trip is it?

    • Perfect timing – I’m in a similar boat and will be following for responses!

      • Anonymous :

        Wait, but why is he paying for it himself? Shouldn’t your share and his share be 50/50?

    • Sydney Bristow :

      You don’t need to split who pays for what like that if it doesn’t work for the two of you. Just wanted to mention that.

      Our plan is to put all wedding expenses on our various travel rewards credit cards and pay them off in full each month. Complete with the sign up bonus from 2 of our cards, we are expecting to have enough points for 5 nights in Maui and airfare. We will probably stay 2-3 additional nights on the big island and would likely need to pay for that in cash. Just an idea! Congratulations on your engagement!

      • That is an awesome idea! Not engaged (yet!) but definitely keeping this in mind.

    • We paid for our honeymoon together out of our savings and from wedding $ gifts. We spent about $3,500-$4,000 total on a fantastic cruise from NYC –>Bermuda for 7 days. My 2nd cruise, his 1st, ate at a few specialty restaurants. He arranged to have flowers, champagne and chocolate-covered strawberry when we left NYC the 1st day. We were forced to turn off the phones and just sit by the pool/at the beach with our books, sunscreen and each other.

      • I should note that we did this about 6 months after our wedding due to work schedules and weather considerations. And I would do it exactly the same way again. I was EXHAUSTED after our 14-hour wedding day and all I wanted to do was sleep for two days after, not travel and “be romantic.” It gave us something else to look forward to after the wedding craziness had ended.

    • My incredibly generous (and financially able) brother in law paid for our honeymoon, so it was tough to pick something knowing that I was not footing the bill, even though he told us to go wherever we wanted. He paid around $4500 for our 2 week honeymoon in Mexico, moving around to 3 different hotels and cities. I think $3K is fine if you’re looking somewhere for a week to ten days.

      • Mexico is seriously the place to go if you want beach & only want to spend $3k…. we did a fantastic trip there a year ago for about 1k total (including flights from CA). My parents also went and did a more luxe version of what we did for about 2k (all inclusive).
        I was just checking out prices on priceline & costco the other day & they seem to be still at that point (I’d like to go again in March I had such a great time).

        • As for our honeymoon we did off the beaten path Europe & splurged a bit with hotels and dinners and we spent about 8k which was neary as much as we spent on our wedding!

    • My fiance and I have been saving money jointly for a year because we knew we wanted our honeymoon to be a bit extravagant. I have to say though, I have never heard that the man was supposed to pay for the honeymoon, although I probably would not sign on to that tradition anyway because we approach our finances with a united front (plus I make more money than he does). The reasonableness of $3k might vary on where you live. I know plane tickets, alone, to Mexico from where I live can be around $1,000. My sister got a groupon for a 5 star all-inclusive hotel in Mexico for pretty cheap for her honeymoon and they loved it. They were able to pay the same as they would for a 3 or 4-star hotel, but with the 5-star benefits (the food was actually good as opposed to inedible).

    • lucy stone :

      We went on a cruise to Alaska. I think we spent about $7,000 when all was said and done, including the cruise, airfare, shore excursions, and souvenirs. Husband and I paid for it together out of savings, although we used wedding checks for shopping and shore excursions. It was an absolute blast and we loved it so much we went back for our first anniversary.

      I second the poster who said go a little bit after the wedding – we waited a few weeks to honeymoon based on work and personal scheduling issues and it was great to have that time to relax and get ready for it.

    • For our honeymoon my husband and I went to Turks and Caicos at the beginning of June, which is off-season. We used credit card miles for airfare. We also stayed in a hotel room/condo with a kitchenette (pretty standard in TCI) and made breakfast and lunch, which left us more time to relax on the beach and more money to go out for romantic dinners. Our hotel had a stay-5-nights-get-2-free deal, which also helped. All in all, we probably spent around $3000 for a one-week beach honeymoon, which included eating at some great restaurants and a couple of snorkeling trips.

    • My husband and I did not have a honeymoon – we got married soon after I finished law school and he finished a Masters program so we were both broke plus starting new jobs. Now over five years later we are planning our first big vacation. For reference we are planning on going to Costa Rica and originally thought we would spend about $4000 on the trip but it is looking more like $5500.

      • Travel vs Stay :

        We were also just graduating from grad school, so we were broke. But we went to Thailand from the US. When you plan vacations on a budget, think about expense of getting there vs. expense of being there. Airfare to Thailand was expensive ($1k or so each) but we basically backpacked while we were there and the rest of the trip was very cheap (probably $1k total). Alternatively, you can go somewhere close to your home (even the same city) and more luxurious accomodations. Find out what fits your personalities instead of going with the typical honeymoon.

        • This is a really great point–I’ve spent more money on domestic trips (because of hotel costs) than on international trips in less expensive areas. For example, my week in Peru was cheaper than my week in Chicago!

    • We payed for the honeymoon together and stayed here 3K would easily cover a week here and flights. Also, Aruba is outside of the hurricane belt which should be a big consideration if you will be traveling then.

      • Yikes autocorrect. Paid not payed.

      • I’m late to this conversation, but +1000 for Aruba and the Bucuti Beach resort! We spent about $4500 on a ten-day honeymoon there and loved every second. Flights and fancy dinners made up a big part of that and you could certainly go for less. I’ve never been to a better beach or climate!

    • Oh, funny: I didn’t know that tradition and my husband’s parents actually gave us the honeymoon as a wedding present. We paid for our own wedding. We went to Hawaii for 10 days. We were budget conscious, but also splurged quite a bit. Spent about $4500 (including every meal, etc–we calculated at the end), but bought the tickets on miles. It was amazing. Have a great time!

    • We had a really nice honeymoon in Greece (Athens, Santorini, Mykonos) for about 11 days and spent probably between $5 and $6K on airfare and hotels (meals and excursions weren’t much at all, probably <$500 total). We didn't stay in Four Seasons-type hotels, but it was the most luxurious trip either of us had ever taken at that point, since we had previously been dependent on our parents or poor students. Our hotel in Santorini was our biggest splurge and was still only around $300 a night.

      How long do you wnat to go for? If only 1 week and you're willing to forego the fanciest resorts, you can pretty much go anywhere in the US (including Hawaii), Mexico or Caribbean for $3K. If you want to go for 2 weeks, your options might be quite a bit more limited and Hawaii is probably out.

  2. Sydney Bristow :

    I posted some of mine on the last thread. My goals are to read 100 books this year and pay off one of my loans by my birthday in June.

    My favorite resolution was for 2012 when I decided to put myself out there and start dating again after being single for a decade. I put up my online dating profile in January 2012 and threw myself into it. It worked out better than I could have ever imagined!

  3. Being on time! That’s such a good one.

  4. Take more selfies.

    • Senior Attorney :


      • I know it sounds silly but I do have reasons for it. One of the being, I don’t want to look back to my life 10 years from now and realize hey I have nothing visual to remember ME by, not just stuff that happened around me. And since no one else is gonna be trailing after me with a camera….

        • love it! :o)

        • I try to do selfies with my kids and dh when we’re out & about for this very reason. Since I’m generally behind the camera, someday when they are looking back at pictures I want them to:

          1. Remember what I looked like
          2. Remember I was there

          One reason the Photo Pass Plus for our trip to Disneyland in April was so worth it. We got a ton of family pictures out of the deal. Our previous trip to Disney 3.5 years ago had I think 3 pictures of me total.

    • I like this. Once my kids were born, I decided to be in pictures more. I love looking a pictures of my mom with me when I was a kid, and really, why am I hiding from the camera? I’m not some hideous monster that will break the lens. I’m me, and it’s okay to have a photographic record.

      • Anonymous :

        There was a great essay on Huffington Post about this: It made me resolve to be in more photos with my son even though I usually am not “camera-ready” when I’m at home.

  5. Anne Shirley :

    Attend more theatre and visit more museums. People come from all over the world for NYC’s arts and I should enjoy them more.

    • Sydney Bristow :

      I need to remind myself of this more often! If you like the opera, you can enter a raffle for rush tickets on Mondays each week during the season for tickets that weekend. I think they are $20 if you win and want them.

    • This is a great one! Museums are free here so I have no excuse.

  6. Taking control of my savings.

    Last year my goal was to get out of non-law school loan debt. I did it! And the loans are under control. General anxiety has kept me from ever rolling over an old 401K, or talking to any kind of financial planner about what to do next.

    • Sydney Bristow :

      Congrats on paying off your non-law school debt! That’s awesome!

  7. canijustsay: going back to work today is The Worst. I want to start a new tradition: one month off for the new year.

  8. I haven’t made any resolutions this year, but want to continue mine from the past two years–in 2012 I resolved to do (note, I do not say RUN!) a 5K every month (and I did! First resolution I ever kept, because it only required doing something once a month, technically). In 2013 my roommate and I resolved to do more things we wouldn’t have otherwise–we did ok for a few months, but slacked off and then she moved, so didn’t complete it. But we went to the ballet, to a movie premiere, to a Bald Eagle festival, and a few other things we otherwise wouldn’t have. So I want to try to do that again/more this year.

  9. Anon for this :

    I posted my resolution of sorts in today’s earlier thread (and thanks for the lovely responses and encouragement!)

    I’m reposting:
    I’m currently taking MUCH better care of myself (holla to going to a therapist AND psychiatrist AND nutritional therapist all at the same time who all work with each other) and plan to continue in the new year AND I’m no longer taking every single thing my parents say to heart. I forget who said it in these comments about our parents knowing which of our buttons to push because they installed them, but I’m no longer taking their crap. My mom said something to me yesterday designed to make me go, “Oh no, Mom, how can I help fix it?!” (even though I can’t fix it, in any way). Instead, I just said, “Sorry to hear that.” When she said something else designed to get a rise out of me, it was met with an “OK.” Bwahaha. 2014 will be the year I regain my sanity and meet the real me!

    • Anonymous :

      Can you share how the nutritional therapist works? I have the other two covered (anxiety) but am curious about what a NT might advise.

      • Anon for this :

        She’s working with my therapist and my psychiatrist to deal with the issues I have surrounding food, how I’m addressing them, and reinforcing those messages that the therapist and psychiatrist have told me. She also answers any questions I have about food (even ones I feel ashamed or ridiculous to ask). She weighs me, but I never have to see my weight (source of anxiety). I’ve only seen her twice so far, but the next time, we’re going over a meal plan (I get to eat foods I like!), serving sizes, and meeting small, manageable goals. I’ve been to nutritionists, but I believe the “therapist” component comes in because she understands that I’m not eating 5 cookies for nutrition. I’m dealing with real psych issues behind it. Simply suggesting rice cakes is not the answer.

        I also suffer from anxiety, plus depression and a lifetime of bad eating habits and medicating through food. This is the first time I’ve ever felt like I’ll be able to actually stick to a life change since I have so much support. (The NT isn’t covered by insurance, but visits will taper off from weekly to monthly over time.)

  10. My resolutions are:
    1. Take vitamins
    2. Read a book every month
    3. Stop biting my nails
    4. Lose 10 lbs
    5. Start making photo albums (hard copy)

    • Not to be negative, but why take vitamins? A lot of data are emerging that supplements are contaminated, not what they are packaged to be, and ultimately have not shown benefit and some have shown harm. I am all for health, but a lot of people are thinking that perhaps our vitamin needs should be met through dietary sources alone

      • I think there was an article in the NYT a year or two ago that showed that people who took multivitamins died earlier, maybe from too much iron. I agree that vitmains are not really good, unless specifically prescribed for you by a doctor.

        • Actually, doctors prescribe plenty of vitamins that aren’t necessarily beneficial. It’s a knee-jerk thing that some doctors do, because they suspect, sometimes correctly, that their patients just want a magic cure-all easy action rather than hard stuff like: eating properly every day and getting enough rest and exercise.

          I think my biggest takeaway from this vitamin thing is that many aren’t necessarily harmful (if they’re not containing fake or harmful ingredients), but when separated from the larger compounds that they’d be found in if you ingested them in the form of say, a tomato, it’s unclear that vitamins offer *any* benefit.

      • Hollis Doyle :

        This is really interesting; I’ve never heard that. Does that include prenatal vitamins too? Are we actually harming ourselves more by taking contaminated vitamins than we would if we did not take them?

        • wildkitten :

          There were a handful they said are still beneficial, and folic acid while pregnant is one of the few.

        • So one of the recent articles that I read about multi-vitamins being unnecessary talked about how we forget about the enriched foods that we are already eating. Many bread and grain products are already enriched with folic acid for example. So even if you aren’t eating the best diet, chances are the processed/enriched foods already are filling in some of the shortfall.
          I did take a multi-vitamin regularly while TTC and during pregnancy. The rest of the time I take them maybe 2x a week.

      • Yes, thanks for pointing this out! I know way too many people who take vitamins, and I’m always tempted to say something.

    • Does anyone have advice/insight on vitamins and depression? Some posted recently that B vitamins helped her mood, and I noticed that my depression symptoms increased when I stopped taking a multivitamin daily. It’s probably a coincidence, or maybe a reason to get more sunlight, at the least.

      • Studies have shown that taking specific vitamins for deficiencies actually work. For example, if you’re depressed and vitamin D deficient, taking vitamin D will help improve your energy levels (which helps to make you feel less “depressed”) even though it’s not actually fixing your depression. It’s just hard to tell which is which. If that makes any sense.

  11. TO Lawyer :

    I’m going to try to stay more organized at work, go the gym/exercise more often and cut down on my shopping. So far I’ve already failed on #3 since I bought a dress on sale at lunch.

  12. My resolution is to get our finances under control. We’ve pretty much just always let them work themselves out, and it’s worked much better than it should have most of the last 13 years, but this past year we’ve eaten into our savings – just a little bit, but enough that it makes me nervous. We’re trying to get started on a budgeting app, and hopefully we can really direct something towards paying down student debt soon.

    • Yes! I’m so guilty of thinking that because I have no debt, have a good medical aid, pension and contribute to my savings that counts as managing my money…when the reality is that I have no idea of how I’m spending my disposable income. Another resolution to add to the list..

      • I simply use an excel spreadsheet and a similar method to Senior Attorney. I estimate as close as possible our bills (takes a tiny bit of legwork to see what you paid prev year) divide that by 26 and set up automatic trfs to a separate acct. When the bill comes in, the funds are there.

        we also spent some sessions with a Financial Planner (free service at the bih 6 chartered bamks) for her to run an analysts of our investments…caveat: I’m a banker and I think all banks make it seem like rocket science but a couple of hrs with s pencil and spreadsheet make all the difference. a lot of info is on your HR kit if you have a work pension and we have free tools in our online banking…getting off my soap box now

  13. 1) Incorporate 10-20 minutes of yoga into morning exercise routine
    2) Finish decluttering lower level of home
    3) (good idea, Kat) Arrive early for work and events
    4) Outline my novel and start writing before NaNoWriMo so I can finish most by year end

    • I swore I would do NaNoWriMo in 2013, but then November managed to be a monster. Part of me wishes it was any month but Thanksgiving / start of holiday season month!

      Good luck to you this year :)

      • AnonInfinity :

        The guy who started NaNoWriMo wrote a book about the whole process. You could always read that and do your own NoWriMo in a different month! But I know that might not be the same if you know other people who participate or if you like to hang out on the forums and whatnot…

  14. TJ re blemish extractor :

    Does anyone here use a blemish extractor for blackheads? Any tips or product recommendations? Thanks in advance!

    • Anonymous :

      I’ve been using silver powder and I think its works great. I use it in conjunction with my clarisonic (put the power on in paste form, wait for it to dry, rinse off and then use the clarisonic).

      My blackhead areas (nose and chin) look way better.

      The only drawback I can see is that as the paste dries, it turns back into a powder and leave power everywhere, so you are pretty much confined to the bathroom while it dries (~15 mins or so).

    • I’ve never found anything that works better than Biore pore strips, unless you have seriously giant pores. Then you can use a comedone extractor (I think I got mine at sephora). But on small clogged pores it doesn’t do anything.

  15. Am I the only one who has never made a new year’s resolution/goal/etc?

    • Frou Frou :

      Nope! This is the year that I resolved to not set any goals. I’m living in the moment and accepting myself as “just fine!” Feels good!

  16. Ah where do I start! I’m usually not one for resolutions but I’m finding myself super motivated to make some big changes after a very challenging, but ultimately rewarding 2013. I’m envious of those of you with fun resolutions, like reading more books or getting out more! I hope that this year, I’ll get the ‘fundamentals’ in place, and then can devote more time to the things I really want to do.

    My main one is to be more assertive – I naturally tend to shy away from any confrontations or difficult situations or conversations. I’m hoping to push myself to engage in such situations…and that eventually I’ll stop shaking and be on the verge of tears with knots in my stomach. Totally doable, right? right? f you ladies have any tips, I’ll gladly accept them!

    I’m also motivated to get into shape – I’ve made myself a healthy lunch for tomorrow and have a crossfit session lined-up for after work, so hopefully the resolution sticks! I feel very lethargic and have realised that the less I do, the lazier I become. Hopefully a healthier lifestyle can help with that. I’ve also endeavoured to keep busy – by studying part-time – so that I can’t be tempted to crawl into bed straight after work. And from a mental health point of view, I want to start meditating for 10 minutes or so a day, in an effort to stop my mind worrying about the future plans, past experiences, work….etc.

    And from a love-life point of view, I hope to value myself enough to stop dating or getting intimate with people I have to dumb myself down for, or can never see any kind of future with. Quality over quantity!

    Also, fun question on this theme: what are you most proud of accomplishing in 2013. Often during this time a year I tend to fixate on what is still missing, or things I haven’t (yet) achieved, instead of celebrating my successes. For me, I moved to a new (terrible) city knowing no-one, adapted very well to my first job straight out of uni, was voted into some leadership positions at work, ended a long-term relationship which was ultimately not working out…and didn’t come out depressed! As Ellen would say YAAAYYY

    • I 100% agree with the “less I do, the lazier I become.” I’ve been sitting on my ass after work for a year now and have nothing to show for it – therefore, some of my resolutions include spending less time “plugged in,” getting back into my previous gym habits and trying some new options, learning to knit, learning some work-related skills (including better Excel skills), skiing more often, and reading more frequently. The more I do, the better I feel!

      • Back Home :

        Ask A Manager did a thread recently on cool Excel tricks you may find interesting:

      • I’m glad it’s not just me! I remember how productive I was during high school – schoolwork, sports, extra-curriculars, part-time work, learning another language, and a social life…and all because my parents would never let me sit around for 5 hours surfing the internet every night, like I now do! Good luck, we can do it! (oh and better excel skills is one I may be stealing)

        • ETA: I just noticed the ridiculous number of exclamation marks I used in my comments, oops

        • I know, isn’t it insane how fast the time can fly when you’re doing nothing? I spend WAY too much time just screwing around on the Internet and I realize how dissatisfying it is. I was telling myself I needed time to “relax,” but in reality, it just made me more stressed to not use my free time for something I enjoy, like exercise or reading a book or something.

          • I also use the ‘I need to relax’ excuse…but if I’m being honest, I can’t remember feeling any more relaxed now than I did back when I had hobbies (and like you say, I’m probably more stressed thinking about all I’m not doing)

      • Sydney Bristow :

        I am the same way. I do so much better when I’m busy, which sounds crazy when I say it out loud, but I really find it easier to work out on days that I work long hours, I eat way better when I’m always going, etc.

    • AnonInfinity :

      My proudest accomplishment in 2013 is having a huge role in helping my firm land a big case (a 1.5 year process–not a couple of days on just a pitch).

      Thank you for encouraging me to focus on what I accomplished rather than my perceived failure (gained 30 lbs over the past 2 years. Eep!)!

      • Congrats – that’s amazing! I know I sometimes find celebrating work successes a tad awkward in real life, so hoping you’re nothing like me and managed to celebrate properly with friends and family!

        • AnonInfinity :

          I was unfortunately sworn to secrecy for about 6 weeks, so by the time I could actually tell anyone, the excitement had worn down slightly. A couple of my friends almost died of excitement because they know how hard I’d been working on this, but most everyone is like, “Oooohhhhh…. you ‘get’ to go to the midwest for 6 weeks for an event where you’ll be working around the clock….. That sounds…. great…. good job?”

        • AnonInfinity :

          And also thanks for the congrats! I promise I tried to celebrate properly :)

  17. So I’ve been toying with a number of “resolutions” which I sort of struggle with, because on the one hand, New Year is a great time to evaluate and start fresh. On the other, I’m well aware of the pitfalls of resolutions and my ability to stick with major life changes.

    But I’ve been general unhappy with my health habits (eating, exercising) for the last 3-4 months and would like to make progressive changes in that direction. Right now, my plan is to:

    1) Run 3x/week (well, run/walk working up to run)
    2) Make food choices I’m not embarrassed by

    I’d like to add additional changes, but I feel like a healthy start should be a reasonable one, and making small changes can lead to bigger successes down the road.

  18. OttLobbyist :

    1. Do more interesting stuff.
    2. Worry less.
    3. Laugh more.
    4. Swear less (this isn’t going so well so far since my garage door was frozen shut this morning and my car starting later today is looking like only a 40 percent probability :)
    5. Continue to progress on my weight loss and exercise resolutions from last year.

    One tip for avoiding resolution “breaking” guilt (because we all need less guilt): At the end of the year, I grade my success on each resolution, rather than cast it as a success or failure. For example, last year, I did really well on most of my plans until about August, but then stuff happened. It doesn’t mean I failed, just that I got a B- instead of an A+…any other tips for maintaining willpower?

    • I like your list. Am also intrigued by your name – I presume you are also a resident of our frigid capital of the Great White North?

      • OttLobbyist :

        I am indeed! Hard not to love a city in which people are more excited about the Canal being open to skating than concerned about a -38 Celsius start to 2014. :)

        Nice to know there are other Ott residents benefiting from the wisdom to be found on Corporette!

      • OttLobbyist :

        Indeed I am. I should add another resolution – buy really ugly, really bulky, really, really warm winter boots. Today. :)

  19. AnonInfinity :

    I have two —

    1. Pay off my student loans by July. Husband and I did a budget overhaul a few weeks ago, and I believe this is possible with focus and not too much sacrifice.

    2. Be able to fit into all of my suits by the end of June. This means I’ll have to lose around 30 lbs, which I hope to do by exercising at the gym 5x per week (we have classes similar to CrossFit 3 days per week, and heavy weight lifting 2 days per week) and keeping track of my calories consumed. My trainers is encouraging me to do a “cheat meal” each week, but I am pretty undecided about that. It seems like a better plan to eat what I want within my calorie budget. So far, so good!

  20. I have way too much on my plate right now for resolutions (not to mention a totally chaotic year ahead) but I just want to say how happy I am that it’s 2014! We got a little bit of everything bad in 2013 (injury involving ambulance ride to the hospital, death of a close and young family member, job loss, and then scary scariness with what was our big bright spot — the twins we’re expecting after infertility issues). When the scariness with the twins started, before Thanksgiving, my husband and I said “if we can just get through December, things will be much better.” It seemed impossible then, but here we are! Now if these guys can just wait another couple of months to be born, we’ll be all set.

  21. SoCalAtty :

    Continue to cut out negative influences in my life! Whether you are family, friend, or something else…if you’re causing me anxiety and sleepless nights, I’m going to cut interactions back to the special occasion / holiday get-togethers and that’s it.

    It looks like my MIL is going to be first on the list. Her youngest daughter of 4 kids (3 girls + my husband) has been dating her girlfriend for some time, and I’ve basically been sworn to secrecy for almost 2 years because she just wasn’t ready to talk about it with that side of the family. She posted something on social media 3 days ago, and MIL saw it and called Aunt at 1:30am in hysterics. Full blown, “why me,” hysterics. She then hung up the phone and the phone has been off the hook for 3 days! I kind of knew this is how it was going to go down. We had a neighbor go check in and she’s 100% fine, and acted like nothing happened. I’m not going to be the one addressing it, really, since it is my MIL and I’ll leave that up to my husband, but I’m with my SIL on this one!! It has really negatively impacted my opinion of my MIL, that’s for sure. For me, any response other than “If you’re happy, I’m happy” is not ok.

  22. Senior Attorney :

    I posted mine on the previous thread (short version: don’t bore everybody with divorce talk), but I just thought of a funny story about one of the many times I thought “wow, this marriage is not doing well:”

    Several years ago, I had been thinking about New Year’s resolutions, and talking about them on another message board I frequent. Mr. Senior Attorney happened to come into the room, and I looked up and said, “Dear, do you have any resolutions for the new year?”

    He (he of the raging temper and mean streak a mile wide) looked at me quizzically, shrugged his shoulders, and said, “Nah. I’m good.”

  23. 1) Chose books over tv more often
    2) Don’t let the fact that my boyfriend of 1.5 years is moving back to his home country in 6 months poison the time we have before he moves

    • Anonymous :

      I read this quickly and I thought you said your boyfriend is moving back to his home country after 6 months in prison. I was like, whoah! that is rough stuff!

  24. I’m going to look to embrace change and new experiences. I feel like I’ve been in a bit of a rut the past few years, and this year I want to try and mix it up. I may have a new job, am considering selling my condo and hopefully will travel on my own to Australia by way of Asia. I want to finish the year a calmer, more open person who spends less time thinking about the ‘what if’ and actually sees what happens.

  25. CPA to be :

    1. Hang up my clothes after work every day, rather than piling them on top of my dresser in a giant heap.
    2. Grow my hair another 4 inches and take good care of it. This will be the first time I’ve had long hair in 10 years.

    • #1 is something I’m trying to work on too. I borrowed the idea from someone here about a basket for at-home clothes (I think NOLA?) which is helping — if I don’t have a pile of yoga pants, comfy tops, etc, on the floor by my bed, I’m less likely to also dump my work clothes on the floor. And it’s so much easier to pick up/put away one outfit a day than 5 or 6 at the end of the week.

    • ugh +1 to #1…. I constantly have piles of clothes draped over chairs (and I live in a JR 1-br so that means they’re in my kitchen). it makes it so awful at the end of the week to put everything away- and sometimes if I have people over I just shove everything into a closet, which is not good for my clothes. I’m to the point where I can’t find things I know I own sometimes which is so frustrating and makes me feel like I own too much crap!

    • On #1 – an idea I’m trying for the first time this winter to great success: Keeping a pants hanger and nice wooden hanger on my closet door for “airing out” that day’s clothes. My dresser-pile would always accumulate during winter because I didn’t have a good system for airing out the outside layer (sweater or wool pants) before they went back in the drawer/onto the pants hanger. So, things would get strewn around to air. Now, each day when I come home, I put away whatever’s currently on the “airing” hangers and then change. Piles begone!

  26. I heard recently that it’s so much easier to stick with resolutions that are feelings-based instead of actions-based. With all that I have going on this year (first baby in Feb, law school graduation in May, bar exam in July, moving in Aug, starting a new job in Sept, 3-year anniversary in Oct), I want to spend the rest of my time feeling confident, beautiful, and s3xy through whatever activities I choose. I think that will make me a better lawyer, mother, and wife.

    • Really? Feeling beautiful and sexy will help you with the bar exam? Finals? I know you’re a big Sarah Jenks fan, but this is where her take on the importance of being feminine really rubs me the wrong way. It’s not enough that we are lawyers, we have to feel sexy while doing it? F that noise.

      • I see what you’re saying, but on the other hand, studies show that feeling good about yourself is a key to confidence. If preg3L feels beautiful and sexy and that leads to her being more confident, then she’s more likely to do better on the bar exam. Keeping your head is half the battle on that one.

        • Thanks KLG. And sigh @ 2:34pm, just because something wouldn’t work for you, there’s no reason to conclude it won’t work for anyone else. My school happens to have a 90% pass rate for the bar exam, and my grades are doing great without being the subject of my new years resolutions. My resolutions were specifically for “the rest of my time,” outside the time I spend dedicated to the list of big life changes happening for me in 2014.

      • Anonymous :

        I am so tired of this attitude that women’s self-confidence and competence has to revolve around her looks and sexuality. I am disappointed to see it here.

  27. Lady Tetra :

    Has anyone here tried a meal/ingredient delivery service like Hello Fresh or Blue Apron? I was thinking about it as part of a eat healthier/cook more resolution.

    • Miss Behaved :

      I gave Hello Fresh gift cards to a couple of people for xmas, but I don’t think they’ve used them yet.

  28. Anonymous :

    I like to call them “goals.” Maybe it’s a mental thing.

    Keep a cleaner house. Travel as much as time/money/work allows. Run a few races. Focus on being good at my job.

  29. Smile more, scowl less.
    Floss regularly.

  30. MY approach to New Years Resolutions is that I tend to have a lot of resolutions and they eventually fall by the wayside, but I gain something out of them while I’m doing them. For example, last year one of my resolutions was to read a poem every day. I stopped somewhere in mid-February, but I was exposed to a lot of great poetry while it lasted.

    With that said, here are mine:
    Read at least five works of modern literary fiction (this was a goal last year, and I liked it enough to continue it)
    Get back to keeping track of all books you read
    Dedicate at least one continuous hour a week to cleaning house
    Try out new podcasts (say, while cleaning the house)
    Check out the local winery scene
    Be better about staying in touch with people
    Unpack all boxes from our recent move
    Hang all of our artwork
    Plant a vegetable garden this summer
    Plant fruit trees this summer

  31. 1. Move into our house when construction is done in late February
    2. Sell our condo after we move out
    3. Accomplish these things without an unnecessary level of stress

  32. Lola the Showgirl :

    Just want to vent for a second and pose a question – At the office secret santa gift exchange, I received a guidebook to online dating… from my boss!! I feel like this is so inappropriate and I honestly think it was a backhanded insult (there has been a little tension between the two of us as of late).

    I’m all about taking responsibility and ultimately, I realize that this happened because I made the mistake of sharing information about my personal life with colleagues. I’m the only single woman here and there are always questions about my social life. It always seemed harmless enough and I’m certainly not ashamed of being single – I’m fortune that I haven’t married the wrong person! But ugh – opening that gift was so embarrassing and i don’t even know what to do with it because I’m seeing someone now and have no use for it/don’t want it in my home. It’s in a drawer in my desk here at the office.

    There have been several occassions where my singlehood has been discussed amongst colleagues. At a colleagues wedding one of the ladies told me to “take a profile picture with the wedding in the background.” Another always has inquiries about what bars i frequent and which websites i use to meet men. How do I shut these conversations down in a stern yet polite manner? I’ve started to completely disengage as a result. I’ve worked in other places where my social life was not such a hot topic but clearly these folks can’t handle it! :(

    • Lola the Showgirl :

      Meant this as a threadjack and not a response to another post – sorry!

    • Jessica Glitter :

      I would throw that book in the trash, as a first step. But maybe that is just me…

  33. DC Association :

    I’m combining my “resolutions” with a “major to-do list”!

    1. Open college savings plan for my son.
    2. Update will
    3. Open an emergency savings account
    4. Really work on dating!
    5. Be a better communicator in all aspects of life
    6. Cut down on shopping.
    7. Clean out closet regularly and bring items to Goodwill, consignment within a week of cleaning out closet.
    8. Exercise more regularly.
    9. Create a budget and stick to it.
    10. Less screen time.

  34. hellskitchen :

    My resolution is to regularly write down fun or special moments with my 6 month old son. The first 6 months have gone by in a blur and I’d like to somehow keep a record or special moments with him. I created a google doc and I write it down anytime he does something I’d like to remember, like looking up from a feeding to give me a smile etc. Because it’s a google doc, I can update it from anywhere and I don’t worry about my writing since I am not sharing it with anyone. I just have to remember to update it every few days.

  35. KS IT Chick :

    Mine is to eat more real food and less convenience food. We’ve done better in the last year at eating at home rather than eating out. The next step is to eat better quality food, even when we don’t always feel like cooking.

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