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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 169 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: Armani Collezioni

Suit of the Week

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Armani Collezioni Herringbone Jersey JacketFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. I love a good Armani suit, even if it's usually just the stuff of dreams. Here, I love the herringbone jersey, the three button jacket, and the flattering, waist-defining look (accomplished with interesting curved seams and sculptured front panels). Lovely. The jacket (Armani Collezioni Herringbone Jersey Jacket) is $1495, and the skirt (Armani Collezioni Herringbone Jersey Skirt) is $475.
Armani Collezioni Herringbone Jersey Jacket Armani Collezioni Herringbone Jersey Skirt Armani Collezioni Herringbone Jersey Jacket
(L-5)

Sales of note for 9.19.24

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 15% off new styles
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
  • Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
  • Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
  • Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
  • Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
  • White House Black Market – 40% off select styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. anonforthis

    Any advice for recovering mentally from a recent miscarriage? I just want to shoot daggers at pregnant women and people with babies. That can’t be healthy or helpful. Plus I know a lot of people worked really hard and waited a long time for those pregnancies/babies and probably suffered a miscarriage themselves. But I’m just so jealous!

    • JJ

      I’m sorry for your loss. Having been there, I can tell you that it takes time. And how much time it takes is wholly dependent on you and there is no wrong answer for how long it will take to emotionally heal. After mine, I found that I had to insulate myself from friends online or in real life who were pregnant. It wasn’t because of them, but because I felt like I was protecting myself. Basically, just be kind to yourself. Unapologetically do whatever it is that makes you happier.

    • Anonymous

      I am sorry for your loss. Time will help a lot, both in helping you feel better and allowing you to try again. Everyone is different, but women can often try again after one cycle.

    • zora

      I have no idea but I am so sorry, I can’t even imagine how you must feel. I will send you lots of {{Internet Hugs}}} and hope that helps a tiny bit.

    • Ciao, pues

      i am so sorry for your loss. i found two things helpful when i went through this recently: (1) talking about it with women of all ages; and (2) reminding myself through daily affirmations that my body was amazing, and knew just what to do.

      talking about it with other women was so helpful in making me feel less alone and entirely validated. i was shocked at how many women were able to empathize because they had been through the same thing. my boss, my friends, my mom, my cousin, my doctor. once i revealed what i had gone through, people were really generous with opening up and sharing their experience, too. it was comforting to know that so many women i loved and respected also endured the pain, confusion, anger, and sadness i was feeling and went on to have healthy pregnancies. i am forever indebted to the many wonderful women who shared their stories with me.

      secondly, and surprisingly to me, i started reciting affirmations to myself throughout my day. this was a new exercise for me and just sort of came out of nowhere. part of what i felt was let down by my own body, so i started reminding myself that a miscarriage is the result of a pregnancy that is not viable. and that my amazing body knew just what to do to make sure that it was ready for a healthy, viable pregnancy in the future.

      know that it is totally normal to feel what you are feeling. over time it will be easier to see pregnant and mama friends and strangers without being reminded of your own loss and feeling angry or jealous. but it does take time.

    • Anonymous

      I am sorry for your loss. I’ve been there and agree with JJ’s advice. Time will help, eventually. I stopped going to things like baby showers (not because I wasn’t happy for the expectant family but I just couldn’t deal). My loss was 20+ weeks, so lots of people knew of our situation. Also, I was amazed at the number of women who had similar stories of loss. It definitely made me feel less isolated. A friend who also had a mis went to a support group structured around strollers, of all things… She found it helpful. And we started trying again as soon as we got dr’s clearance. Good luck and hugs. It sux.

    • Peachy

      In the same boat. Trying to suppress the inappropriate compulsion to tell random younger women not to wait, to investigate their own fertility, etc…

    • Burgher

      You need to allow yourself to grieve, and don’t let anyone else tell you how long you are allowed to do that. Some people acted as if I should be able to just get over it after a month or so (including my own mother). Screw those people!

    • anon

      Hugs. Give yourself permission to grieve. It’s been over a year for me and I still get upset. What also helped me was not putting myself in situations that I knew would be difficult, e.g. baby showers.

    • InfoGeek

      Not sure it’s the healthiest way, but I drowned myself in work. I needed to not think about the baby, so I replaced the thoughts with work. Still, I cried at least once a week for months and the strangest things set me off.

      I was around 20 weeks, so it was pretty public knowledge.

      I, too, was surprised at the number of people I knew who had experienced some sort of pregnancy loss. It’s like a secret society that you don’t even know exists until it happens to you. I know part of it is because it’s so awkward/uncomfortable to talk about.

    • Anon

      This is a great community and it makes me feel better to know that we are not alone when going through fertility problems, a topic not often discussed publicly. There have been a ton of pregnancy announcements here lately and I hope others will think twice about posting their news, perhaps realizing that some of us come here to escape while trying to recover from a miscarriage or othe fertility woes.

    • Anon

      I’m so sorry for your loss. I went through the same thing. I found that most people in my circle of family and friends who I told didn’t know how to react and help, which made it even worse. They meant well, but they wanted to see me happy again and tried to encourage me to just get over what had happened and move on, which made it even harder for me. It was very isolating. And my sister was pregnant at the time, which made it doubly hard to deal with. Most of all, time helped. Take all the time you need to grieve. I tried to rush it, thought I should be “over it” and ended up having a harder time dealing with it because of that attitude. I also saw a therapist for a few sessions and having a safe person to talk to was really helpful. Although I know miscarriage is very, very common, none of my immediate circle of family/friends had ever had one, so I didn’t really have anyone other than my therapist to talk to who could really relate. I ended up getting pregnant again about 3 months after my miscarriage, and that honestly helped a lot. Many hugs.

  2. Susie

    I thought those were big patch pockets but on closer inspection they are not. I think they are what the description refers to as “sculptural front panels.” Is it just a flap? I’m not sure I understand the point of this, if anything I think it detracts from the look.

    • Kanye East

      They look like flaps to me. They’d probably look even more rad if you put some appliqué trucker babe mud-flap silhouettes on them.

          • NOLA

            Makes me think of Bernadette playing the Star Wars online game with the guys.

            Sheldon: Dr. Rostenkowski, it may interest you to know that saying pew, pew, pew isn’t as effective as pressing your blaster key. In the same way that saying whee doesn’t make the land speeder go.

          • Sydney Bristow

            But turning the controller and leaning your body while playing Mario still totally helps him move though, right?

  3. TJ--talking with my assistant

    Pretty suit!

    TJ: A few weeks ago I asked my secretary to submit some receipts/expenses on my behalf. I am a junior BigLaw associate in NY. At the time, she said she had a lot of other work to do, so I said that she could do the work over the next few days. I followed up by email this week (I am out of the office for work) and found that she has not submitted the expenses and wants to discuss her workload with me. I anticipate that she is going to tell me that she has too much work to do–and possibly too much to do to take care of things like expenses for me. I could use some advice on how to handle this discussion. (I realize it’s hard to do in anticipation, but I have never been in this situation before so I could use some insight on what is appropriate and what will contribute to a good working relationship.)

    A little background:
    -I share my secretary with 3 other attorneys in a very busy group. (There is one other secretary for the remaining attorneys in the group.) She has had to fill in for other secretaries recently.
    -I am the most junior attorney in the group (though I’m not totally new). My secretary has been in the group longer than me.
    -Secretaries in my office routinely submit expense reports.
    -I ask my secretary to do very few tasks (probably 2-3/week).

    I have a good relationship with my secretary and would like to keep it that way. How do you approach things like this with the people you work with?

    • Houston Attny

      What immediately struck me was that she wants to discuss her workload with you, ‘the most junior attorney in the group’ who gives her 2-3 assignments per week. You are clearly not the problem for her being overworked, but she may think you are the easiest to say no to. I’m just guessing that’ll be the approach and if it is, you may wish to tell her that you know that you have asked her to do a couple of things a week, but if she could jot down her workload – the things that are taking the most time – she might be able to really see what is consuming her time before she talks with the senior attorney in the group, the person she really should approach. I’d give senior attorney a heads up.

      • Monday

        Good call. It would probably also help to have your own record of tasks you’ve assigned her over the past few weeks to clarify that you’re not contributing much to her workload.

      • SA

        +1000 when I was younger I had a secretary who thought she could push me around. Because she was older and I was polite I would “ask” her to do things. That didn’t work well for me. As I got older/crabbier/more confident I would “tell” and the push back is much less

    • Anonymous

      I don’t know about your firm, but mine has an administrator in charge of staff. If an assistant has an issue with her workload, the administrator, and not the attorney, is really the person to go to. The administrator can evaluate the workload and see if additional help is necessary, if the assistant could use some help prioritizing, and/or if attorneys need a reminder on what is and is not an appropriate use of staff.

      It sounds to me like your assistant knows what you’ve asked her to do is perfectly reasonable, but she thinks she can push you around to get out of doing it or to avoid her having to do it before she arranges the partner’s dry cleaning pickup.

      • Anon in NYC

        +1. In my biglaw firm, it’s part of your assistant’s job responsibilities to process expenses, regardless of how junior you are. If she is struggling with her workload, I’d ask her what else is on her plate and then suggest that she work with the administrator to get some assistance.

    • B

      Most BigLaw firms have someone higher up on the admin side of the firm who is in charge of the secretaries (in other words, the secretary doesn’t actually report to the attorneys). I would listen to what she has to say and recommend that she talk to this person. Then you should also talk to that person to make sure that person is getting your side of the story. It may be that you get reassigned to another person, or perhaps they have someone else who can serve as a backup and handle admin tasks when your secretary is too busy. Do not let your secretary step all over you – your work (and billables) matter too, and if you let it start now, it will only get worse over time.

    • anonforthis

      I have the same exact problem. I’ve started going to other people we have as back up help. I think i need to ask, “are you able to address this now/today/this week” before i assume her “yes” is actually yes.

      I am also noting such for future reviews as what started off as a great relationship is now headed to I-realized-i’m-the-most-junior-of-your-attorneys-but-I’m-not-going-to-let-this-slide.

    • abogada

      Anytime you’re in one of these discussions, do not feel obligated to agree or disagree on the spot. A few prepared phrased that you can grab as needed can help (for me anyway), like “I think I understand what your concern is, [paraphrase here], do you have any suggestions as to how to address that” or “that’s a great suggestion, let me think about that [or discuss it with appropriate other person in office] and I’ll get back to you by Friday” or “I had never thought about that being a possible complication, let me consider that for a few days”

      Good luck!

      • [OP] TJ--talking with my assistant

        Among a lot of really helpful comments, this is especially helpful. Thank you so much (everyone)! I now feel prepared for this conversation.

    • Anon

      You’re not the person she needs to discuss her workload with. She should be directing her workload woes to the secretarial administrator/manager or appropriate person. I agree with Houston Attny – she’s picked you because she thinks you’ll just roll over and start doing your own expense reports. Have you tried setting deadlines with her? Such as Secretary, here’s my expenses for last month and I’d like to have them submitted by X date. The ratio of attorneys to secretary is not unreasonable – I’m at a firm where we are currently at 5:1. That being said, our secretarial administrator keeps a good eye on who is chronically wasting time on Facebook, etc. and who legitimately has a busy desk. Legal secretaries are a dying breed and if big firms have their way they will be extinct sooner rather than later. You would think that would incentivize them to do their best, stop the petty hazing stuff with new people (new meaning junior/entry levels and more senior laterals), learn new skills and become a go-to team member. I guess my advice is to direct her back to the appropriate audience – the secretarial admin/manager – while asking when you can expect your expense report.

      • RR

        I agree with this. My secretary currently works for five people, including 3 partners, does all the billing work for 3 more partners, and provides overflow support for an additional partner. And she still promptly does my expense reports without issue. This is common in my firm. She makes it work. She does sometimes get assistance from other secretaries who have time (and I’m sure she gives such assistance as well).

    • [OP] TJ--talking with my assistant

      Hi all, thanks so much for the quick comments. Yes, there is an office manager who is the supervisor of all the secretaries in my office, and I will suggest that my secretary speak to her about the workload.

      In the meantime, though, I do want to address these expense reports (I expect them to come up more in the future as I travel more and more for work). Do I say something like, “Please speak to [supervisor] about your workload, and in the meantime please submit my expenses in the next [3 days, 5 days?]”?

      PS, in between the time I asked her to submit these reports and now, my secretary has completed 2 other (small) tasks for me.

      • Anonymous

        I think you take all of this to the office manager. “Office Manager, Secretary has expressed concern to me about her workload. My expenses need to be submitted before [X date]. Can you ensure this is completed on time?”

        You should not spend this much time on this. Your secretary is a professional and knows what she’s doing to you by refusing your work and asking to “discuss her workload” with you.

        • TBK

          +1 Your time is billable. Getting your secretary to submit your receipts is not billable time. Her job is to make your job easier so you have more time to bill (which is what pays her salary). Call the office manager and tell him/her to handle all of this. You’re too expensive for this. (And I don’t mean that in a snobby way. I mean that from a business perspective. Time you spend on this is time the firm loses.)

        • Hel-lo

          I think this is exactly right. You tell your assistant, “I’d be happy to talk with you about that, but I think I’m not really the best person to answer your questions. I think you should probably talk to Supervisor.” In the meantime, you email Supervisor and make sure your expenses get done.

      • Anon in NYC

        In my firm there is usually a cut off date for reimbursement in the next pay period. I’d tell her that you would like to be reimbursed for your expenses with your next pay check so she should find out from accounting when she needs to submit those receipts.

      • ITDS

        If you are at a big firm the expense system itself may be a pain to use, which can lead to procrastinating having to deal with it. Also, are you just giving her receipts and letting her figure them out, or are you giving her all the info she needs and just having her input them into the system? Of course, it would be ideal to just give her receipts, but it might help her get it done more quickly if you jot down whatever info she is required to submit with them.

      • Moonstone

        I think the advice about listening to her concerns but not necessarily agreeing to anything is very wise. I would give her the courtesy of listening to her before you speak to the office manager. Because she has completed other tasks, I wonder if she has a specific question about the expenses. Obviously, lots of folks here have experience in big firms, but I still think its worthwhile to give her the benefit of the doubt and not just assume she is shirking.

    • LH

      I’ve had the same problem. I think its very common for people to prioritize tasks based on the seniority of the person assigning them, and even if the most junior person is giving them very little to do it can still fall by the wayside. I agree with others who say to be firm. If she’s not getting to your assignments, you need to escalate this to an administrator/office manager who can either get you additional support or get her some back-up support so she has time for your tasks.

  4. anon101

    Help please! I will be ready to give my current employer notice on Friday (when written offer will be in hand), but my boss will be going on vacation for 7 business days as of Monday. A friend suggested I not ‘ruin’ his vacation by telling him right before he leaves, when he is in no position to start the new search. He suggested I write him an email closer to the end of his vacay (which I find to be the greater of two evils). It’s a very small office so he is the only one that matters for my purposes, as well as wrapping things up. There is no HR, mostly staff and the CEO (whom I rarely converse with).

    I want to give 2 wks’ notice and would really like to avoid staying a third even though it would be helpful since I’ll have more facetime with my boss to wrap things up. Is it burning bridges if I don’t (assuming he’d even ask for a 3rd week)? How would you handle it?

    • Ellen

      I would give 2 weeks notice and that’s it. It’s not that you are goeing to come back and it’s alot of time. I went to GW and bumped into my tort’s prof. He got fat and sloppy lookeing! And to think he wanted to date me, and if I married him I would have to sleep with THAT?!? FOOEY! It’s luckey I decided I did not want to date him. I think he did not give me a good grade b/c I would not date him!! DOUBEL FOOEY!

      I cannot imageine wakeing up to him, cookeing for him, cleaneing up after him! All b/c he know’s tort’s!!! Oh my god! He wants to meet me for dinner with my dad b/f we go home. I have to make sure we do NOT meet him. I could NEVER have sex with him!

      I saw the museum today. The security guard said to me I was the best thing he saw all day. I have to tell dad. He will meet me at the metro stop at 5:45 and we will go to UNO PISSERIA! Yay! Deep dish pizza! Yay!

      SAMs texts keep showeing up on my screen! I wonder if he has a job other then texteing me! If onley he didn’t pick his nose! FOOEY!

    • Niktaw

      I think your friend is wrong and you are right. Delaying bad news is never good policy, and if your boss is a reasonable person, you won’t burn any bridges by giving notice in a timely manner.
      It’s not a given that he’ll ask for a 3rd week, and your resignation will certainly not ruin his vacation… if he really is reasonable.

    • anon102

      this is really a relationship call. If you want this boss as a reference, you probably don’t want him to remember that you resigned in a way that left them in a lurch. Given that, I would not write him an email while he is on vacation. Notice should be given in person. Can you get on his calendar for the first day he is back in the office?

      • anon101

        The thing is if I wait til he gets back, then the 2 wks start tolling from that day on which will be on Aug. 21 vs this Friday the 9th, making me stay there while he’s on vacation just to wait to tell him in person. It’s a pickle!

          • anon101

            What if their hr has a delay and the offer comes monday when he’s already out? :/

          • Anonymous

            I would’ve said it’s not a pickle, but in the opposite direction–so I guess it must be a pickle ;) IMO, don’t give notice until you have the offer in hand and have accepted it.

            It’s annoying if the mail timing causes you to have to stay an extra week b/c the boss happens to be out of the office, but these things happen. And tbh based on some of your follow up questions, it sort of sounds like you *want* to delay…

    • SoCalAtty

      Give it in person before he leaves. I gave notice face to face (even though I didn’t want to and an email would have been an easy out for me) and it is better to give as much time as you can. It isn’t going to ruin his vacation – it happens, people move on.

      But don’t stay an extra week just because you feel bad. I actually gave 2 weeks notice at my last job, and then had to leave 2 days early to travel because of an unexpected death. No bridges burned (not that I cared with that one), because life happens.

      • anon101

        Also, what if the written offer isn’t mailed in time? I was only assuming it’ll arrive by Friday. I’ll reallllly be in a jam if it comes later while my boss is on his 1.5wk vacation! What would you advise then?

        • anon101

          P.s. for some reason I feel like I sound like Ellen when writing this, so pardon my enthusiasm and empahtic use of punctuation, lol.

        • TBK

          Can you call your new employer and explain why it’s important that you get it on Friday, and ask whether they foresee any reason it might not be ready by then? You just need to make sure you use the right tone with this. Explain that you want to be able to start in two weeks, so you’d really like to be able to give notice before the boss goes away.

          If that doesn’t work, you give notice via email while the boss is on vacation, and apologize for not doing it in person, but explain that you wanted to make sure that he had a full two weeks’ notice. It might be appropriate, based on your description of your office, to also give the CEO notice to make sure s/he gets the information while your boss is away.

          The basic rule, though, is that it’s not your job to make sure there’s zero fall-out from you quitting a job. Sure, quitting just before something huge with only two weeks’ notice isn’t great, but that situation is very rare. I’m just disheartened by the number of women on this site who seem to feel that it’s their responsibility to make sure their employer is 100% okay when they leave. That’s the employer’s job, and it’s an ongoing one (i.e., a good employer puts systems in place to make sure that everyone, even the CEO, is replaceable without the company collapsing). Ladies, stop worrying that you’re hurting everyone’s feelings!

          • anon101

            I love the spirit of this response, but in practice I’m worried if I leave with them feeling that I left them in the lurch (even if I disagree that was the case), then they will not serve as a good reference in the future.

          • TBK

            If you have an employer who is unreasonable and unprofessional you may not be able to use them as a reference in the future. Ask a Manager has some great tips on how to deal with this situation. In the meantime, the most important relationship you have is with your NEW employer. Do not leave THEM in the lurch just to accommodate an immature current employer. (I’m not saying yours is, but if they blame you for the fact that you might be giving notice while the boss is out, they are in fact unreasonable, unprofessional, and immature.)

          • Hel-lo

            +1000. These companies aren’t being loyal to us. Many of our employers won’t give us glowing references anyway because it’s against policy. So why are we being loyal to them?

            Give your notice as soon as the offer comes in. Do it in person. If your boss is on vacation, do it in person to the CEO and via email to your vacationing boss.

            Don’t give them more than 2 weeks.

            It just ain’t your problem.

        • Sydney Bristow

          If your offer comes while he is on vacation, then I’d just send him an email (and notify anyone else who you might need to). Hopefully you get it before he leaves, but you shouldn’t need to change your plans to leave just because he is on vacation.

          This is a similar to questions on Ask A Manager when people rarely see their bosses in person. You get poke around there to get more comfortable with the idea.

          I hope your offer comes quickly and good luck with your new job!

    • ss

      A courteous way to handle this communication would be to email your boss to say something’s come up and is there a good time to call him, and then give your notice over the phone. It is unlikely to be a long call but you will have much better control over the ‘tone’ to minimize any sour feelings.

      If he doesn’t respond to your email, give it a couple of days and then email in your resignation anyway. You can include a comment that you hoped to do it in person but the circumstances haven’t worked out.

  5. anon

    What do people wear to court when it’s over 100 degrees, with 90% humidity? I had a hearing yesterday that lasted several hours, I wore a “lightweight” tropical wool pantsuit from Ann Taylor (did not feel lightweight or tropical) and a sleeveless cotton button-up blouse. I was seriously sweating, so much I could not take off my jacket when I was walking to my car because the back of my shirt was wet (so gross!). It was warm in the courtroom, and all the men had on similar suits to mine, but none of them seemed to be sweating like a pig, and no one took off their jacket, despite the heat. I have a cotton suit, but it wrinkles so badly I hate to even wear it to the office, much less to work. I don’t do much trial work, so maybe someone with more experience can give me some tips. I guess skirts would be slightly cooler, but I’m not comfortable in skirts when I’m trying to wrangle a big rolling briefcase and laptop.

    • mascot

      Can you switch to a different type of top under your suit? Something that won’t show when you sweat? Men wear undershirts underneath their dress shirts to alleviate this problem so you might try a camisole.

    • SoCalAtty

      Something that doesn’t show sweat. I go with a lighter fabric suit and a shell or tank top underneath, and the thinnest socks I can find (I usually wear flats). I keep a cold water bottle in my bag and try to drink something cold.

    • anon

      I guess I’m searching for a magic suit fabric that that is cool, looks professional and doesn’t wrinkle. But I’ll definitely wear a different top next time.

      • zora

        I don’t know what shape you are, but, I have some of the Halogen suit pieces from Nordstrom. They aren’t all cotton, but they aren’t wool, and they are very cool and breatheable in the summer. For example, the regular Halogen Taylor pants say they are: “Polyester/viscose rayon/spandex; machine wash or dry clean.” But I normally hate polyester, and i don’t get that ‘ew polyester’ feeling from these, they almost feel like cotton or something, and very comfortable. And don’t have a wrinkling problem either.

    • anon in tejas

      I think what makes the world of difference is that our suits are normally lined with completely unbreathable fabric (synthetics).

      I stick to skirts in the summer. Mainly for this reason.

    • Hel-lo

      Any time I’ve been in 100+F weather, the air conditioning has been cold inside. (I don’t live in a hot climate normally.)

      But it’s fully ok to take your jacket off outside.

  6. Judy

    I do love this suit, but I must admit the booties and no-shirt-underneath-the-suit-jacket look are a bit strange, I am having a hard time visualizing what type of shirt WOULD look good.

    • Chris Slocumb

      Love this suit. But with all the detail going on in the herringbone pattern and jacket design, I think you’d have to keep the blouse simple. A simple cream or black shell probably.

  7. TCFKAG

    Do you ever have one of those days where you’re wearing new shoes and every time you look at your feet you just get a little bit happier? That’s me today. I *love* my new shoes. LOVE THEM. I had no idea how much I’d love them….I thought I’d like them but this is ridiculous. I might have to add more t-straps to my collection. What item of clothing, when brand new, just makes your day when you wear it?

    (P.S. Private to someone named Sam-Antha – I answered your question on the blog so check it out.)

    • espresso bean

      Yes, I’ve had those days… and now I must know which shoes you bought that are making you so happy!

    • anon

      Please, please…do tell! I love T-straps and Mary Jane pumps and ankle straps to hold in my feet!!! So, can you post a link to your new love?

    • Cb

      Yes! I always want to wear them out of the store. A classmate in my training today had the cutest flats on with little tassels and things and even her shoes made me happy.

      Made the mistake of bringing a pair of sneakers and a pair of flats for 6 weeks away. Going to be so sick of my shoes / clothes by the end of it.

  8. Bridesmaid

    I’m venting here because I can’t vent in real life but my friend who thinks she’s an easygoing bride is being a real pain with the outfits we need to wear to the reception. On top of the actual outfit, she’s being very particular about shoes and accessories and hair/makeup to the point where I have to spend way more than I want. I understand it’s a big day for her and I’m happy to be involved but I’m getting resentful at the idea that I have to spend hundreds of dollars on clothes/accessories that I’m probably never going to wear again.

    • TCFKAG

      Have you tried gently talking to her about the financial burden? Sometimes brides lose track of what a normal budget is because they are spending *so* much money on the wedding. But if she is, normally, a reasonable person, talking to her about the fact that you’re just really having trouble making ends meet with all these expenses might help. If nothing else, she might find it in the budget to simply cover some of the expenses (that’s what I did – though not because I was all that picky about what my bridesmaids hair looked like.) Anyway – I know its hard to talk about money, but its better than saying “you’re pissing me off and I’m not even sure I like you anymore.”

      Just a thought, might be worth a try.

      • Bridesmaid

        Normally yes. But I think the stress of wedding planning is making her a bad friend. I was told that I was being a bad friend/bridesmaid for not being more supportive. I think that’s adding to my resentment because quite honestly, I can afford the extra expenses (even though I don’t really want to spend my money on this) but I hate that every part of my appearance that day is being dictated plus i’m the only bridesmaid without a plus one (because my relationships never work out so she doesn’t want a boyfriend who isn’t super serious coming to her wedding) and she’s been a bad friend lately.

        i think i’m resentful about more than the expenses and I’m now having a bad attitude because of it.

        • NKV9

          Sorry. Didn’t see this before I posted below. You have every right to be frustrated, but I’d keep smiling (and roll your eyes when she isn’t looking).

        • L

          Wow. Gotta say, if I were your friend and I were acting this way, I’d want you to call me out on it. I say this with love and as someone planning a wedding. Yes, things can be insane, but that is not an excuse to treat your friends like sh!t. You might gently say, you understand this is stressful, but she’s not acting like the friend you know and love.

          Try not to get into a pissing match over who is right/wrong/supportive/nasty, but try to be a good friend and ask that she do the same for you which means listening to your probs/letting your bf come/coffee dates whatever.

          A friendship isn’t worth ruining over a pair of shoes (on either side) and if it is then you might as well cut your losses.

          • Bridesmaid

            I did kinda a couple weeks ago but then I found out she told one of our other mutual friends that I was being difficult and unsupportive and it was likely because I was bitter that I’m single or something. She also said something along the lines of it was good my boyfriend and I broke up when we did because otherwise she would have had to invite him to the wedding. (not the nicest thing to say to a friend who is crushed about a breakup). Things probably got lost in translation but she’s not acting like herself and I feel like it’s too close to the wedding to be honest.

            My plan is just to suck it up until the wedding and see how she acts after the wedding. I get wanting your bridesmaids to have a uniform look with accessories/outfits but I feel like being upfront about things would help. She started off by saying that we only needed to buy these outfits plus gold shoes but a couple weeks before the wedding, she’s dictating accessories and hair/makeup and I just feel like it’s a bit of a bait and switch. But I’m just whining now because I’m frustrated at this whole situation.

          • Wannabe Runner

            Wait, so you have to buy your normal bridesmaid dress, plus a new outfit for the reception? With different hairstyle/accessories? That’s crazy.

            Good luck with this one.

            Tell her you can really only afford one, even if you have all the money in the world.

        • LizNYC

          Your friend is being a complete jerk. Especially about the +1 thing. She doesn’t get to dictate whether your date is “of the moment” or your one true love. You should have gotten a +1 (only when she had to give the final numbers would it have mattered whether you had a date or not — but not the reasons behind it).

          And dictating your reception outfit? This is different than the main bridesmaid dress? This sounds like a bridezilla. I’m so sorry. And I feel you. I have a “friend” getting married in the fall and I’m just counting down the days till it’s over!

          • SA

            I completely agree she’s being a jerk, but often I think bridezillas don’t see it that way until after the wedding. Give it some time then take a break from her. Rekindle when you’re ready. BTDT

      • Sydney Bristow

        I’d try to talk to her as well. She might not give you any wiggle room on the outfit or shoes since those seem to be pretty typical bridesmaid costs, but hopefully she would understand about the hair/makeup and maybe accessories.

    • NKV9

      If it’s a good friend, it might be easier to just suck it up and deal. Feel free to keep venting! Wedding expenses are annoying, especially if she isn’t acknowledging that she’s being unreasonable/being gracious about what you’re spending. But, in my experience, the bride who thinks she’s being reasonable won’t want to hear differently. Plus, if she’s stressed pre-wedding, she’s unlikely to take this conversation well. Have you looked into the resale market for the accessories/clothes you don’t like?

      • Brooklyn Paralegal

        To be honest, this is why I decided to go sans bridesmaids. It’s such a financial burden, and I know many of my friends don’t have several hundred extra dollars lying around to drop on a dress, and on top of that, I don’t think I can handle coordinating that as well. My little sister is going to be my MOH, and that’s it.

        I’m sorry your friend is being a jerk. And she is–bride or not, it’s not an excuse to belittle your friends, especially not ones that are being as patient as you are with her attitude.

        • NOLA

          Seriously. One of my close friends is 30 and will probably get married in the next couple of years. She and her BF have been together forever and have been talking about marriage. I’ve told her I am TOO OLD to put on a bridesmaids dress. Won’t do it. One of my friends turned me down when I got married for the same reason and I so get it now.

          • anon

            I was just in three (!) weddings, and i am 35. I tried the I am Too Old for This argument, but i got nowhere with it. And now, when i look back at the photos, i was too old for it! So too old for it. To the OP, being in a wedding is a big financial commitment. Whether or not you have the money, there is the question of whether you want to spend your money of all of this, which seems a bit extreme. Could you let her know that you didn’t budget for some of these extra expenses?

  9. Anonymous

    I am shopping for work clothes before I start at my firm this fall. It’s business formal, and I’m a bit uncertain as to what I should do for jewelry. Personally I’ve never worn anything besides stud earrings and a watch, but I’ve been told recently that I at least need a necklace or bracelet to look “put together.” The problem is, I’m poor until that first paycheck rolls in. Do you all have recommendations for jewelry basics on a (very) tight budget? I love Kat’s recommendations, but usually can’t afford them.

    • anon

      Studs and a watch sound perfectly appropriate for a business formal environment. I’d look around and make note of what you like (personally I never wear bracelets at work because they bug the heck out of me when I type, so I would personally be looking at necklaces and small earrings), and then, as you have the money, make those purchases.

    • TCFKAG

      I have one word for you. Fake. Seriously, don’t nobody care if you’re wearing real pearls or not. And bracelets, man, there are so many fakes out there you could shake a stick at them.

      Find a couple of well-reviewed Etsy vendors and buy from them. Also Forever 21. They don’t have to last forever, they just have to look presentable until you have enough money to buy the real thing. So seriously, go with fake. Sometimes I like it better!

      • Niktaw

        Second fake.
        Silver earrings/necklace with CZ look just like diamonds in white gold. Macy’s has dozens of office-appropriate styles.

      • New Bride

        JC Penney and Target. Get some cheap, colorful baubles. Done.

        I have one diamond necklace that was a wedding gift from my father. Been practicing 7 years. You don’t need expensive stuff.

    • goldribbons

      1- This is what credit cards are for. Seriously. You come up with a budget now, buy what you need now, and pay off your card when your paycheck comes in.

      2- Bracelets are the worst when you’re typing all day. I strongly disagree with whomever told you that you ‘need’ a bracelet to look professional.

      3- Necklaces sound like a good idea. Check the sales at JCrew/JCrew Factory or any department store and look for conservative pieces. Buy 2 different necklaces and wear them twice/week, going necklace-free once/week. That should get you through the first few months if you need to save up. Only buy necklaces you actually like, because if you don’t like them, you won’t wear them. I wear this simple JCrew Factory necklace with a gold giraffe almost every day because I love it — and it’s perfectly acceptable at my law firm.

      • anon101

        Ditto! Hate the jingle jangle of em on my desk all day and how they ride up and down your arm nonstop, and leave perforations when you rest your hand on them. Plus after earrings, rings and necklaces you’re veering into xmas tree territory by adding them :)

      • Veronique

        +1 on all of this, as well as the Forever 21 and Etsy suggestions. Make sure you check them out in store or can return them. Some of that stuff looks fine but some of it definitely looks cheap.

      • anonymama

        No, this is not what credit cards are for. Sure, if you really need a suit, or appropriate shoes, then yes. But for accessories? When you haven’t even started working in the office to get a feel for the environment/culture? When it doesn’t sound like you even particularly are into wearing jewelry? It doesn’t sound necessary.

        • goldribbons

          If the OP feels jewelry is *this* essential to her job (her original post reads as though she is very concerned about the situation), then yes, it’s what credit cards are for. If she reads these responses and comes to feel that jewelry is not SO essential to her job, then she should not use credit cards irresponsibly.

    • Olivia Pope

      I barely wear jewelry. My ears are not even pierced. I get compliments about being put together all the time. I definitely think attractive jewelry brings an outfit to the next level, but I do not think you need more jewelry before your first paycheck. Tasteful clothing, hair, and makeup will be enough.

      If you really want jewelry that doesn’t look cheap, I suggest finding a good resale or consignment shop. Or ask someone you know if you can borrow jewelry for the first couple of weeks. (A friend or relative with a pearl necklace?) What’s your budget?

    • Cat

      who told you that? if you’re not a big jewelry person, don’t wear it; then you also don’t have to worry that you’ll be constantly fidgeting with it (which will make you look infinitely less “put together” than wearing none at all).

      if you’re swayed enough that you want to get some anyway, Nordstrom is a great place to look for not-outrageously-priced work appropriate jewelry. a simple silver necklace goes a long way!

    • B

      Charming Charlie. I get so many compliments on my necklaces from there, and the store is arranged by color, so easy to find stuff to match particular outfits. If it’s a really formal environment, just stick with a set of pearls until your paycheck comes in – they match everything. If you don’t already own some, perhaps you can borrow from a family member or else buy a fake string.

      • NOLA

        Ooooh, that’s a great idea for me! I went to Macy’s this weekend looking for some colored jewelry and couldn’t find a thing. But we have a new Charming Charlie’s and I haven’t been yet.

      • Sydney Bristow

        I just went to one of these stores on vacation last month. Totally amazing!

        Personally, I’d wait to buy anything beyond what you absolutely need before starting (which means wait on the jewelry). I also agree with posters above that bracelets can be a total pain while typing so I’d steer you towards a necklace when you get to the jewelry buying stage if you still feel you need something.

      • Senior Attorney

        My 90-year-old mother took me to a Charming Charlie store over the weekend and I was amazed! SO FUN!!

        To the OP, I’d just hold off until you start work and get a feel for what’s usual in your office.

      • SA

        I love Charming Charlie! I’ve been avoiding mentioning it to people because I don’t want them to figure out my look!

    • Anonymous

      Bracelets are annoying to me when I’m doing a lot of typing. And earrings other than small studs are annoying when I’m on the phone.

      I wear a nice watch and silver ball studs most days. Sometimes I’ll wear a long necklace to jazz things up, but I don’t think about jewelry too much.

      • In the Pink

        You can always take off the bracelets for a stint at the computer.

        What about Kate Spade? There’s always online sales.

        Maybe watching the sales from regular shops mentioned here like: AT, Tal***ts, a banana piece or two?

        Suits are often well priced at macys in store, with fewer options on line.

        I’m on the phone often, and I agree about studs. Instead I look for french clips and leverbacks, although they are increasingly hard to find. I have asked folks on etsy to change out from loops and wires to them, and it works – but the quality of the leverbacks is much inferior to those bought/initially made with french clips/leverbacks.

        Does anyone have a source for good, well made leverback/french clip fittings?

        Be careful about Charmin Charlies if you are looking at metal; there’s been a rash of people out there breaking out in rashes! (pun intended)

        Happy planning and browsing! Congrats on your new opportunity!

    • LH

      Personally, I think accessories are not something you should be shelling out for before your first paycheck. You definitely don’t need a necklace or bracelet to look “put together.” Studs and a watch are perfectly ok for your first year at a firm, let alone the couple weeks/month until the first paycheck arrives. I don’t wear suits on a daily basis, but even when I do I rarely wear much jewelry except my engagement/wedding bands. Jewelry is really very optional and not worth going into credit card debt (even credit card debt that you think is very temporary) over. I can understand taking on some credit card debt in order to buy several suits for a business formal work place, but jewelry just seems so, so optional to me and is something you buy when you can afford it.

    • TBK

      Macy’s when the silver is 50% off. (Which is like always.) You can get a very nice slightly chunky silver chain for about $30 or less. Pair that with silver studs and you’re good to go.

  10. Intovert/Extrovert Dilemma

    How do you fellow introverts deal with friends who get mad when you don’t want to hang out? I have a very close friend of almost 20 years who I love very much. However, she will lay on the guilt big time if I don’t have a good enough excuse for not getting together enough (i.e. every weekend). Thoughts? Advice? Please don’t say to get rid of the friend, because she is hilarious, kind, and awesome!

    • LH

      I’m not sure this is an introvert/extrovert dilemma. A friend that wants to hang out with you every single weekend (assuming you are adults) seems like she is very posessive of you and needy. Tell her what you told us – that you think she’s hilarious, kind and awesome and that you love spending time with her but that you have work and personal obligations that make it impossible to hang out every weekend. You can also explain that you’re an introvert and while you love hanging out with people, especially her, you also need downtime to yourself in order to relax and recharge. If she doesn’t understand and gets upset, she’s not as kind and awesome as you think she is.

      • zora

        This!! I would totally send her this article with a self-deprecating message like: Hey look-I found a “User Guide To Zora” thought you might find it useful. ;o)

      • In the Pink

        Read “Please Understand Me.” It’s written by a group of folks associated tightly with the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator (MTBI in the lingo). People talk about their different “types,” and this book carefully and clearly goes through all 16 possibilities. There’s even a short version of the test in the back and you can self-score.

    • backgrounder

      no suggestions just commiseration as a fellow introvert who values her alone time!

    • P

      Are you guys familiar with the Meyers-Briggs? I met my close friend in college where all students had to take it, and going through some of the “homework” was really helpful. They even had a packet on particular areas in which introvert-extrovert couples thrive or have issues: she plans “our” social activities and pulls me out when I wouldn’t have gone but I end up having a good time, but as you’ve experienced, one of the drawbacks is that I would be thoroughly exhausted if we spent as much time together as she wanted.

      Just reading about the different personality types was really eye opening. It sounds like your friend assumes that her level of friend interaction is the default and you’re not living up to it, which is of course a very human thing. It may be helpful for her to see that more sparse interactions are YOUR default, just as validly as hers, and it has nothing to do with how much you like her.

      • P

        And yes, the point of all that is that I found it really helpful in my friendship. She’ll be a flurry of energy going “we should do something fun tonight!” but pause, think, and go “or do you need a night to yourself?”

    • MaggieLizer

      If you want to see her, but don’t want to go out: “I’d love to see you, but I need some serious couch bonding time tonight. Want to come over for movie night/wine tasting with fancy cheese and figs/HGTV drinking game night/etc.?”

      If you just need some alone time: “I have a date with my bath tub, a bottle of wine, and a romance novel tonight, but are you free for lunch next week?”

      I think it can be tough for extroverts to understand the concept of down time. When you say you need down time, she probably hears, “I’d rather do nothing than hang out with you.” If you frame it in terms of, I have been planning this awesome treat for myself, she might be more understanding.

  11. FP Angie

    OK – my husband is starting a new job next week with a start-up, small business, and I’m really excited for him. But… the work contract is only for 6 months (depending on how well he does, the company can begin to offer more perm positions). So, in light of this, and while I am confident of his skills and abilities, I am switching to “saver” mode in case we need it. And who doesn’t need a sturdier savings fund, anyway?

    First thing, I’ve realized I’m almost out of my Bliss ingrown prevention pads ($38-$45). I will be trying out the “Gigi No Bump Rx Treatment” from Sally’s ($8). As I slowly try to cut costs, I’ll post on how things are going… realizing I’m almost out of my Benefit concealer… gulp…

    • RR

      On the bright side for the rest of us, I’m really looking forward to your product comparisons! Best of luck to your husband–sounds like it could be a great thing if it works out.

    • Anonymous

      Can only speak for myself but I tried the GiGi No Bump and the Bliss still worked better. TendSkin is a bit cheaper than the bliss pads on Amazon, and it worked okay (though still not as well).

      Bliss ingrown eliminator pads are just SO expensive, but it’s one of those products I haven’t found a cheaper alternative for – and painful bumps growing in the garden is not something anyone wants.

      • AT

        I’ve tried the homemade version of Tendskin that you find the recipe for on the web, and it was decent, but what’s worked best for me are the Sally Hansen pads. They are significantly cheaper than the Bliss ones (which I’ve never tried, but am admittedly now interested in!), and they’ve worked very well for me, so maybe it’s worth a try during your frugal period?

  12. Anon for this

    Hi ladies, I could use some career advice. I’m a public interest lawyer, graduated in 2010. My law school is not highly ranked, but well respected in its mid-size Midwestern city (STL) and I got a full tuition scholarship. After graduation I relocated to Chicago for 1.5 years for a relationship that has since ended. I volunteered everywhere possible but never found full-time employment.

    I then moved to a small Midwestern town for a very prestigious two-year public interest fellowship. It’s been great- very successful, I got to do a lot of really cool stuff including meeting the president (!), I’m very happy with how it’s gone. But it’s ending soon, and I’m feeling lost. I’m terrified at the thought of being unemployed again. I’m applying for everything I can, but I’m doing it all long-distance because I’m here in this small town. I’m licensed in two states but really focusing my job search on Chicago and St. Louis. I love public interest law, but I do not love the job instability/reliance on grant funding. That combined with the low pay and dearth of opportunities (there are only a few legal aid orgs and they’re rarely hiring) make me think I should start looking at another area of law altogether.

    But I don’t know what! I feel like I’m not qualified for any other kind of job, and I honestly don’t even know how to go about looking for a job in another industry/another kind of law firm. I’ve done all kinds of civil litigation in my fellowship, tons of community organizing, I’m great at interacting with clients and collaborating with other agencies, but I have no idea how those skills translate to any job other than the ones that are not hiring. I’m definitely starting to panic, I feel like there’s a giant clock ticking down and once this fellowship ends I will once again be unemployed, back to scrambling for volunteer work and deferring student loans.

    Okay that ended up super long, apologies. I guess I needed to rant as well as ask for advice? Any thoughts are appreciated.

    • Anonymous

      Men apply for jobs for which they meet 60% of the qualifications. Try that on for size.

    • TBK

      When you say litigating, what are you doing? If it’s more than pushing documents around, you’re doing a lot more than many lawyers at your level. The advantage to starting in a poorly funded area is that you probably took on a lot more responsibility and a lot more complicated tasks that you would have at something better-funded (certainly more than at a big law firm). Realize that you therefore have skills that other 2010 grads may not have.

      • Anon for this

        I handle divorces, paternity suits, orders of protection, consumer debt collection defense, landlord/tenant disputes. I also do some probate stuff but that really IS pushing documents around. Nobody ever really ‘taught’ me to do these things because my fellowship host site is very small and not used to having new attorneys so there was NO formal training, it was just…hand me a file, go to court, sink or swim. So I’ve done a lot of stuff, but I don’t feel very confident about it: oftentimes I would never have even seen a particular type of proceeding before it was actually my case and I was in court doing it. But I did always manage to handle it.

        • KLG

          Definitely apply to any private firms with domestic/family law openings, debt collection openings, etc. You are more than qualified. And honestly, send your resume to any firm with a domestic, debt colleciton, or landlord/tenant practice group, even if their website doesn’t say they are hiring. When I worked at a 50-55 attorney firm, we occasionally hired someone with a few years experience even when we weren’t looking for more attorneys simply because the attorneys in that practice group were too busy to lobby management to post an opening and do a formal search, but not too busy to lobby for a resume that dropped into their laps via an email from HR asking if they were interested in interviewing this person.

        • SA

          Have you thought about Social Security Administration? Many firms would love to have someone with experience and you’d make lots of contacts, have as many hearings as you want…

    • abogada

      Do your contacts in Chicago and St. Louis know you’re looking for work? Classmates, former volunteer supervisors, etc. They could be a source of connecting you to job openings or people who are hiring.

      Are you a member of the CBA? ISBA? State and local bar associations for St. Louis? Practice area bars?

      Have you considered something like the Justice Entrepreneurs Program? (like to follow)

    • Hel-lo

      You really are qualified for lots of things. Small firms, government (prosecutors, public defenders, attorney general, etc.), or judicial clerkships if that interests you.

      You are certainly more experienced than most firm associates at your level.

      Do you go to events and CLEs? Join committees? Volunteer for organizations where you’d like to work? Any of those things help keep your nose to the grapevine of job openings.

      • Anon for this

        Unfortunately I’m very isolated in the town where I live/work. It’s 2.5 hours from the nearest big city, so nearly all my CLEs are over the phone and there is no local bar association to speak of. I can’t volunteer for places I’d like to work because those places are all hours away in a city. I don’t regret taking this fellowship because it’s been an amazing opportunity, but I didn’t really anticipate how difficult it would be to job-search from here!

        Thanks for the ideas. I’ve thought about government stuff but I have no criminal background, and that seemed to be required for most listings I’ve seen. And I would love a clerkship, I really like researching and writing but it seems like I’m coming into the application cycle at the wrong time? I don’t know anything about the application process for clerkships because I had no interest during law school, but now I wish I’d paid more attention.

  13. LLBMBA

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I also recently had a miscarriage, and I have good days and bad days. Things I’ve found helpful include: indulging in things I couldn’t while pregnant (i.e. wine, unpasteurized cheese, rollercoasters); being particularly kind to myself (indulging in nights with friends, or nights at home, as I feel – not feeling compelled to be there for anyone but me, at present); beginning preparations to try again; reminding myself (over and over and over) that there’s nothing I could have done; not beating myself up for feeling jealous.

    It is getting better with time (the hormone settling is also helpful). I’ve just finished my first post-miscarriage cycle, which also makes me feel better, as it means we can get going again. On with the future!

  14. Anonymous almost in paris

    TJ- Just venting. I had the most awesome trip to Spain and France planned with my SO for later this month. Planned the trip since earlier this year but have to cancel it now due to work.
    Majorly bummed but I’ve only been at the current job this year so I can’t risk leaving them in the lurch. First time in over a decade of practice that I have had to cancel a vacation for work. It sucks. Travel is definitely my first love but I guess work pays for it and that’s my reality. Oh, doesn’t really help that SO was kinda ambivalent and all my guy friends pretty much said they would cancel a vacation for work no questions asked. All my girlfriends were definitely on the “take the trip, sc**w work” side of the road.

    • BB

      Ugh. That sucks. I hope they are compensating you for the cancellation at least and that you can take it again soon!

    • LH

      I feel your pain :( I love my job but feel the same way you do about travel and am dreading the inevitable day I have to cancel a vacation for work. Like BB said, I hope you can reschedule it again soon. And I hope that even though the big vacation is postponed you can at least get away for a long weekend mini-getaway sometime soon.

      • Anonymous almost in paris

        Thanks. It’s hard to explain to SO why a weekend trip to LA or Hawaii in no way compares to Paris but I’m sure I’ll appreciate a break once the time has passed and it is nice to have a whole bunch more vacation days available for the rest of the year.
        My company isn’t paying for the cancellation. There was a lot of back and forth and they never flat out said I should cancel but it was suggested since it may come up in my review. Totally passive aggressive.
        Curious to everyone out there- How many vacation days do you get and actually use?
        I have 17 this year which I think is such a small amount but I travel a ton- long weekends to visit friends and family and one or two big trips abroad.

        • LH

          Officially I get 15 business days (biglaw associate) but anything longer than a 1 week vacation is highly discouraged (honeymoons excepted). I’d says its pretty common to take around one 1-week vacation per year (10 days off with the weekends) and then a few vacation days here and there, often added to holidays to make longer long weekends. I also have an SO who isn’t enthusiastic about travel and doesn’t get why its so important to me (but he knows it is so he goes along with it even though he personally thinks it a waste of money) so I sympathize with you about that too.

        • eek

          25 days PTO (vacation+sick) and 10 holidays. It seems like a lot, but it’s hard to use because of billing requirements.

        • Veronique

          15 PTO and 12 holidays. I use it all every year. I have been out for more than a week at a time, as have some of my coworkers. As long as there is coverage at the office, people (at least at my level) are expected to use their vacation time.

        • Anon in NYC

          I was at a meeting a few months ago where associates in my biglaw firm were talking about the need to buy travel insurance for this exact reason. I think you have to be careful and really read the fine print of whatever insurance you wind up purchasing, because some insurance plans won’t reimburse you without something from the firm in writing that they are asking you to cancel your trip. Of course, most firms will not do that because then they would be on the hook for costs. There is (apparently) trip insurance where this is not necessary. I’m sure it just costs a bit more. I had never really thought about it before because why wouldn’t I get to take my vacation?, but I’m realizing that I was just lucky and I’ll be buying insurance from now on.

          In terms of PTO, I believe the policy is 4 weeks and holidays.

          • LH

            Huh. It never occurred to me that they would be reluctant to give you a statement in writing saying they were asking you to cancel the vacation. I have bought travel insurance with that clause but I never thought getting that written statement would be a problem if I framed it as “I have a vacation I’m supposed to be on, I’m willing to cancel the trip to work on X project but I need a statement in writing saying you need me here so the insurance will cover me.” I don’t see understand how that means that the firm would be on the hook for the costs – isn’t that the whole point of the insurance, that the insurance pays (minus whatever deductible, if any)?

        • Pregomama

          We have “unlimited PTO.” What that means in practice for me (director level) is that well-planned long weekends and 1-2 week long vacations/year would be reasonable.

          I took 6 straight days for a trip to Europe, plus 3-4 other misc. days off for vacation last year. This year I’m up to a whopping 5 days of PTO (2 were “sick” days where I worked from my couch) but I’m going on maternity leave for most of Q4.

          I can’t think of anyone that takes more than 2 1-week vacations per year in my area…but long ski weekends are popular.

        • Anonymous

          We have 0 vacation days and 0 sick days. My firm expects me to bill a certain number of hours, not be butt-in-seat X days per year. If I can meet billable expectations and meet my case deadlines while taking a 14 day vacation, I can do that. If my workload doesn’t permit that, it’s more like the occasional long weekend.

          I was lucky to have a major deal earlier this year that gave me a considerable hour surplus and resulted in a foreseen dead time the following month, so I took long trip with 8 days out of the office (plus weekends). I know others who’ve been here 7 years and haven’t been able to do more than a long weekend of Friday and Monday off because of their caseload.

        • lucy stone

          I ‘m in government, get 21 days, and am encouraged and expected to take them all. I think this is awesome and try to remind myself of that when I get jealous of the fact that most of the ‘rettes seem to have an extra digit in their salary.

    • AT

      I work for an international organization, and we get 30 vacation days, 10 official holidays, and up to 7 “uncertified” sick days a year. It is both wonderful, in that you can actually take a long holiday (and lots of long weekends) and have it respected, and terrible, in that every single one of your colleagues will also be exercising their right, so it makes for a lot of inefficiency and passing on a project and waiting when you’re just trying to get the job done.

  16. Miz Swizz

    Where’s the line between well put-together and overly matchy? I’ve been trying to put together more interesting outfits with the clothes I own and I feel like I either end up very color coordinated or in contrasting colors.

    • CKB

      I have decided that for me, matchy matchy is OK because it goes with my fairly type a personality. I don’t wear head to toe fuschia, but I like it when my necklace matches a color in my shirt which matches my shoes.

      If it fits your personality, own it!

  17. waiting applicant

    How long would you expect to hear feedback after a final interview? The entire process has taken a couple months and culminated in a four hour last round last week. I know feedback from previous rounds was positive, and this last round went well (I think).

    I can’t understand what’s taking so long, and am now completely over-thinking what my wait means. I’ve been in touch with the recruiter, but he hasn’t gotten feedback yet.

    Insight? Advice on how to chill out in the meantime?

    Thanks!

    • Midwest Transplant

      My firm is notoriously slow turning around offers for more senior level hires. The senior level folks that do the interviewing for that level position frequently lag in providing feedback to the HR team. Maybe the person that has to sign off on the offer is on vacation or there is some other administrative issue (we are in the midst of summer travels). Reach back out if you don’t hear by Friday.

  18. Anon for this 2

    I do believe I’m an alum of your law school. Get in touch with Career Services! They’ve gone above and beyond for me in the past. I’m in STL and have been practicing here since I graduated (a year before you), and I’m job-hunting myself. If you put up an email address I would be happy to pass on anything I find!

  20. cm for TCFKAG

    I’m having technical difficulties replying to comments, but just wanted to say a huge thanks to TCFKAG for posting the link to those gorgeous t-strap pumps! I just ordered the taupe, can’t wait to get them!

  21. k-padi

    Paging ELLENWatch…

    Could this guy be the beloved Ellen? (Links in reply) Notice the CAPITALIZATION and the lack of punctuation. Is he trolling here for his perfect mate?

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