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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I found this cute little polka dot dress while browsing the “Customer Favorites” section of The Limited's web site, and it looks just darling for work — the scrunched knot front detail gives it shape, but the slight A-line skirt, the boat neck, and the 3/4 sleeves all make it super work appropriate. It's $89.90 at The Limited. Polka Dot Knotted Waist Dress
Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.
(L-3)
Sales of note for 9.10.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Save up to 40% on new markdowns
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- White House Black Market – 30% off new arrivals
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
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A Nonny Moose
It’s also a part of their buy one get one 50% off sale. Hmm, this is tempting…
preg anon
I really like this!!! Great pick, Kat.
Sydney Bristow
They are also having a 50% off any 1 item sale beginning at 11am until 2pm wherever you live. Additional items are 30% off.
Kelly
Just bought the dress and exact stretch skinny pants! thanks for the recommendation.
Also FYI, used code 975 for $15 off purchase of $50 or more.
MH
There’s also a really cute dress at Ann Taylor that’s very similar: the Micro Dot Twist Wrap Jersey Dress. It’s on sale for $79.99. Faux-wrap style, small polka dots, very comfortable and flattering, looks good with belts.
Chicago K
I own the Ann Taylor version and love the fit!
L
It looks like there’s a bulls-eye in between her b**bs! Must be the way the fabric gathers? Too bad, I really like it other than that
January
Could also be the way the print appears on the screen. It might be worth checking out in person.
Anonymous
Yeah, I’m seeing the same thing…
KC
Some prints just don’t photograph well… makes me glad I’m not a news anchor because I love my stripes and polka dots!
Nomi
It is intentional, and a form of target advertising. Men tend to focus on bullseyes, be it in a urinal or on women’s breasts and other nether regions. This dress pattern is doing no more than capitalizing on the male obsession with breasts. You’ll see a similar look when it comes to bikini bottoms. Many designer bottoms tend to focus in either on the derriere or the front end, both targets of male obsession. Since design is another form of advertising, if it causes males to look, females will buy, and also noteworthy that males will buy for their females if they are permitted to focus (i.e. obsess) on those areas.
We have the power to either turn those obsessions on or off. I have used them to my advantage by insisting on a quid pro quo from my man. He gets to obsess and act, if I am duly rewarded for permitting him to do so. It’s a win, win situation for both, because I actually do not mind his obsessing and acting thereon because I make the rules up and he must follow those rules if he is to act on such obsessions. All of us can learn a lesson here — simply to use our assets productively. No more, no less.
Anna D.
This is so funny, because the JA in my chambers wore this dress yesterday! It does NOT look like there’s a bulls-eye between the boobs in real life – it’s super adorable, and she’s had multiple compliments from strangers on it.
L
Wahoo! Thanks, now I can order it :)
calibrachoa
Oooh pretty!
I’m killing time before I head out to the airport. A visit back home complete with stalking Mr. Nick Cave and seeing my mom for the first time in 2 years…. gonna be fun! :-D I keep eyeing up my luggage and going omg why so huge I don’t need al that… and then I realize actually most of it is gifts for the maternal unit….
NOLA
Have fun! Once the gifts are gone, you can shop…
Veronique
Have a great trip!!!
tesyaa
I love the dress, but it’s a little overpriced for piece of poly/spandex (although it does say it’s lined).
cha
I know, the fabric looks awful. I am in Austin and it has been like a thousand degrees all week. I need things that can breathe.
Miss Behaved
Wow. There are some other nice polka dot items there, too. Check out the price on this one:
http://www.thelimited.com/product/polka-dot-ponte-pencil-skirt/7223919.html?ppid=c31&start=31&cgid=skirts&dwvar_7223919_colorCode=175
Miz Swizz
I posted kind of late in the thread yesterday so I’m re-posting in hopes of a longer conversation. I need help figuring out how to color coordinate my outfits. I feel like I’m really good at either very coordinated or contrasting colors but there’s that whole area in between that I need to explore. How do you decide with a monochromatic outfit whether to add a pop of color? How do you tie together an outfit of contrasting colors that “go” but maybe needs a little something to look more intentional? I’ve watched hundreds of hours of What Not to Wear but I still need some guidance.
another attorney
start with your shoes, as that, in my view, is the easiest place to get it all right or all wrong. You can almost always do a contrasting shoe and have it look like the intentional pop of color you intend it to be. A navy dress or suit with a red shoe, for example.
A shoe can also go wrong — i might match a red shoe to a red belt, for instance, but never to a red top (though maybe to a red cardigan, that matches the shoe perfectly, unbuttoned over a dress.
Once you have the basics, you can start mixing in other colors. Wear the navy dress with the red shoe in the above example, but add a skinny yellow belt, or a funky yellow necklace.
Try grey slacks with a yellow shoe and a kelly green blazer. you can wear it over a printed top that incorporates both colors, or a neutral top and then add jewelry in either or both colors.
Anonymous
First of all, I like prints, so I like to find a subtle color that is in the print and build the rest of the outfit around it. For example, if I have a paisley blouse with primarily blues in it, but also orange, green and turquoise, I will pair it with a navy skirt and then wear orange shoes to compliment the small bit of orange in the print. I think prints are a great way to tie colors together. You can even do this with a scarf. Tie your solid pieces to colors in the scarf.
Second, I don’t like to add a pop of color just to do so. I like it to look intentional and purposeful. I want the color to DO something and be coordinated with another color in the outfit. Today, I am wearing what appears to be a pretty neutral outfit: navy pinstripe skirt, sheer white blouse with a grey vest (?) over it (high neck, no buttons, I guess its more like a sleeveless top, but its in a suiting material). So, the colors are all neutral (navy, white and grey). I added grey and pink shoes. The pink in the shoes is coordinated with the white blouse because they are both light and seem to “match” to me.
Third, I use color shortcuts. There are certain colors that I think look nice together (i.e. black + light blue, navy + bright pink, green + grey, orange + turquoise, yellow + white).
Fourth, I look at catalogs and magazines for inspiration. I think J. Crew does color wonderfully. I buy a lot of my clothes from them and I feel like a lot of pieces from across seasons go together. I can usually find a sweater from a few years ago is the same color as a part of a print on a skirt from another year and I can wear them together. Study prints like pucci and other designers to see what colors they blend together.
Brooklyn Paralegal
+1 to color shortcuts. Some of my go-tos: navy and salmon or coral, navy and kelly green, grey and light blue or turquoise, dark grey and light yellow.
I agree with Anonymous about pretty much everything, especially not adding color just to say you added color. Generally, I’ve found (through trial and error, unfortunately) that unless your use of color is intentional and purposeful, it can look out of place or like it was thrown in haphazardly at the last minute.
Anon
I’m confused about the not adding color to add color? What other purpose would you add color for? If you’re doing it, it is intentional, right?
preg anon
Yeah, I always always add a pop of color. I don’t see a difference between it looking intentional and not. I guess you could say it doesn’t look intentional if you’re wearing a totally neutral outfit, but that’s my favorite time to do it.
Anonymous
I just mean I’ve seen people throw on a pair of yellow heels or a bright green purse or a red belt just to add a pop of color. Simply because they’ve heard that’s what they’re supposed to do. But, I think you have to consider whether the green purse otherwise “goes” with the outfit. Is is complimenting another color in the outfit?
Sure, in the example provided above, a navy sheath dress with a pair of red shoes looks great. Red and navy are great colors together and the shoes compliment the navy dress. But, other colors may not. Adding color for the sake of adding color without thinking about why you are adding can fail.
Senior Attorney
I do that all the time. In fact, I do those exact things: yellow heels, check. Bright green purse, check. Red belt, check. JUST to add a pop of color! ;)
If you’re saying “make sure the colors don’t clash hideously,” then I agree. That goes without saying (except I guess not). But honestly? Yellow heels or a green bag or a red belt will look pretty awesome with almost anything.
That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.
zora
Senior Attorney: Sing it, woman!! ;o)
Anon
I’m with you Sr. Attorney. The whole point of adding a pop of color is to add a pop of color, and adding yellow heels, a red belt, or a green purse is the way to do it. If the color otherwise “goes” with the outfit, it ceases to be a pop of color.
And I do this all the time, because I like it (not because I heard its cool)
Brooklyn Paralegal
For the record, my thoughts on not wearing color “just to add color” was essentially a nondescript way of saying that if you’re going to add color, make it a color that doesn’t clash! (I was just starting my first coffee of the day…)
Senior Attorney
BP, when I read your post I laughed and thought “she says ‘like it was thrown in haphazardly at the last minute’ like it’s a BAD thing!” ;)
Miz Swizz
I really like the idea of color shortcuts and I’m going to keep a better eye out for combos I like and make note.
As for intentionality, I’ve had a couple of outfits where I added a pop of color that just didn’t look right. It could’ve also been that the belt was too skinny for the outfit or I wasn’t taking the shape of the clothes into account. Thanks for all the advice and input, I have some shopping in my closet to do this weekend!
Small Town Atty
This! For instance, I have a pair of really fun clunky yellow wedges. While yellow shoes might look great with anything, THOSE yellow shoes don’t (same goes for my bright pink bag, etc.)
Victoria
To stay current, go window shopping and snap some pictures of coordinating colors that the stylists use for the displays. Snap pics. People watch and make mental notes of cool outfits that you’d want to recreate or emulate.
I am a HUGE fan of color, and today am wearing neon pink cropped pants with a cream and forest green striped sweater with tan elbow patches, and a pair of neutral metallic flats. This outfit doesn’t fit into the archetypal “color rules”, but it somehow works. Granted, I am in Marketing, so I can lean a little toward the funkier side of things ;)
My suggestion? Experiment. Try mixing prints and colors. Try something that you wouldn’t normally do. Almost any pop of color can look good with any neutral, IMO. Try it, see if you like it. You can always change out of your outfit if it isn’t pleasing to you.
If you want to stay with tradition, check out color theory http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Color_wheel and you can always match colors with the opposite side on the color wheel. Purple + yellow, orange + blue, etc. There are many ways to combine harmonious colors, so if art isn’t your forte, then the formulaic approach to color theory might be helpful :)
lucy stone
If you look at the academichic blog (now defunct, but the posts are still up) they have some great posts on the color wheel and how to incorporate colors into your outfits.
Bonnie
Check out this post: http://fashionbombdaily.com/2010/04/16/the-color-wheel-how-to-combine-colors-wardrobe-accessories/
It does a great job of explaining how colors on a wheel go together.
Jenna Rink
How do you shop online with a PO Box? I just moved to an apartment that the post office doesn’t deliver to, so I had to get a PO Box. If I’m not sure whether something will ship USPS or UPS/Fedex which address do I give? I’m thinking about just shipping everything to my workplace, but no one else in my office does that so I feel a bit strange about it.
Ellen
I do this when I do NOT want the doorman to be lookeing at what I am ordering. I do NOT care if Lynn or the Manageing partner look at the boxes that are shipped to the office, but the doorman alway’s wants to know what kind of clotheing I am getting and I think he is fixeated on me and my clotheing for some reason. Every time I come down, he alway’s compelements my clotheing, even when I am wearing sweatepants and a sweateshirt for walking with my FITBIT on weekends. I look like a mess b/c I am goeing to walk and sweat and then go to the NYSC to work out and sometimes shower (b/c the creepy guy does NOT work weekends).
Today, I am at the Hotel again. Dad will NOT let me go to the CIA with him today b/c I would have to sit in the visitor’s area. I WILL get to go tomorrow, because he is just haveing lunch with the Komendant, and he said I could go if I promise to keep from talking and just look cute. I said OK, but I will of COURSE answer questions that the Komendant has for me. After all, I am an attorney in good standeing in the State of New York, and that has GOT to be unusual here in Virginia.
Today, I am goieing to order another Pina Colada (yay) even tho dad says no. What other drink am I suposed to drink at the Pool? The lifeguard asked me if I was a model, so I said mabye in my next lifetime. He laughed.
I do NOT have much else to report. The Uno Pizza was FANTASTIC. I strongley recomend it to any of the hive that LOVES CHEEZE and MUSHROOM’s and DEEP DISH! YAY! Dad did NOT even scowl when I ate a third piece from the large PIE he ordered, b/c I specifically ordered DIET SODA, not ICE TEA which has alot of sugar in it.
Have a great day–I am stuck here in the business center, so mabye I will post later. YAY!!!!!
Susie
I hope you’re getting your steps in, because the average pina colada has over 600 calories. Not to mention 3 slices of deep dish. Keep this up and you’ll be lucky if even a nose picker will propose to you.
Sydney Bristow
I had no idea there were places the post office wouldn’t deliver to! Sorry I don’t have any advice but I’m curious about this. Do you know why they don’t deliver to you?
Anon
Not Jenna, but when I was growing up the post office would not deliver to our house because we could not have a mailbox – the configuration of the street meant that the snowplow would knock it over every-single-time. So, PO box it was.
Jenna Rink
Apparently we’re too close to the post office? I didn’t know that was a thing, but apparently in small towns it is.
rosie
This was my issue, too. There was rural route delivery in my town, but not if you lived close to the post office.
Maggie
Yep it happens. Growing up we had a PO box because when my parents built the house they didn’t deliver to that part of town (not enough demand to justify a route? I don’t know). Later on they did deliver mail to that area but we kept the PO box since we were used to it and it was nice to know our mail wasn’t sitting out in the open while traveling.
Anonymous
I have a mailbox via UPS so I can specify the physical street address follow by #123. I think the post office recently/will let you do the same.
Anonymous
UPS and FedEx won’t ship to PO boxes but I think you can bypass that restriction by specifying the street address :)
marketingchic
FedEx and UPS won’t ship to a P.O. Box – you give them your street address.
Anon in NYC
You should check out the UPS/FedEx policies – I’m not sure if they will deliver to a P.O. box. For things being shipped that way you might be better off having them delivered to work.
cha
Yeah, I have some sketchy clients and oppondents from doing some court appointment family law cases, so I have a UPS Store mailbox. You can check out what address looks like on my website, but it looks like physical suite address with Suite #. Something like: Suite 123-456. With 123 being UPS Store’s Suite # in the shopping center and 456 being my box #. Never had a problem with deliveries, and always someone there to sign for package.
rosie
For UPS/Fedex, ship to your physical address and they will drop it off at your house. If delivery is via USPS, give them your PO box and the post office will hold it for you (I would get a slip in my PO box when this happened, and then I would just pick up the package at the counter).
In my experience, sometimes UPS/Fedex would just leave packages at the post office if they were addressed to my PO box, but I do not think they are supposed to do that. I had one very bad experience where someone sent me a gift via UPS but provided my PO box, and I never received it. UPS claimed that they checked my town’s 9-1-1 records and delivered it to someone that they thought was me.
rosie
Also, I think sometimes I just put both my street address and PO box if I wasn’t sure what shipping service would be used (most online forms have “address 1” and “address 2” lines).
Anon
Address 2 line is for your apartment number or suite number or c/o information, rather than a full on separate address.
Anonymous
She knows what address to use when she knows how it’s being shipped. Her question is what to do when the retailer doesn’t specify whether it will shipped US Mail or private carrier.
OP, is there a private mail store like Mail Boxes Etc. in your town? It might be more expensive than a PO Box but you would get an address that could be used with any carrier. Alternatively, I would just have it shipped to work–I don’t know why anyone would think negatively of this to begin with, but in any event it’s easy enough to explain so that people understand.
Veronique
For the smoothie aficionados, this morning I made one with 2 slices of cantaloupe, 3 fresh strawberries, 1 tbs frozen strawberries, 1 tbs flaxseeds*, 2 tsps fresh ginger, 1 tbs natural peanut butter, 3/4 cup greek yogurt, and a splash of sugar free vanilla syrup (all measurements approximate). The flavors worked surprisingly well together and it was so delicious and filling. I’ll definitely make again!
*I use whole flaxseeds and the blender grinds them enough for me, but you can use ground if you prefer.
SunnyD
Fresh ginger! Great idea. I’m trying Raw Meal and it tastes like earth so I’m making it into smoothies with various combinations to try to mask the non-flavor. Maybe some ginger will help.
Susie
Have you tried a smoothie with banana? I find bananas to be the best for covering the slightly unpleasant tasting ingredients.
Brooklyn Paralegal
+a million
My go-to smoothie in the morning is strawberry, banana, greek yogurt, a little honey, and a bunch of ice.
I used to use whey protein, and I still occasionally do, but I started getting nervous about regularly ingesting the chemicals in it. That being said, my other favorite is banana, a little coffee, chocolate whey protein, a little greek yogurt, and ice.
basil
What liquid?
I do vanilla Greek yogurt, oj, a banana, and some frozen berries.
It’s delicious.
BMBG
God, this would save me so much money. Sorry, to answer your question, you can call retailers and ask how they ship before you purchase online.
Maternity Leave Question
I think I know the answer to this, but I’m throwing it out anyway. Maternity leave: do I have to turn on my email autoresponder telling people I’m out? I’ve notified all clients and opposing counsel, and I plan to still check email. I think I should turn it on so people know that there could be a delay in response, who to contact if they need immediate assistance, etc. I’m just worried I’m going to miss opportunities or be thought of unfavorably for being out 3 months on maternity leave.
Veronique
Definitely use an out of office message. If you don’t want people to immediately know that you’ll be out for the months, you could put something like: “M is currently out of the office, but will be checking email regularly. If you need immediate assistance, please contact X.”
Also, you might want to turn it off and then back on at regular intervals (weekly? monthly?) because it only sends one response to each person and people who aren’t in your office may not realize that you’re still out if they only received one message two months ago.
Lyssa
I agree, but I would say that I am checking email “periodically”, rather than “regularly”. That way, if you get back to them right away, great, everyone’s happy, but you have an out if you don’t manage to respond for a couple of days. (Technically, I guess “regularly” could mean once a week, but it seems to convey a different message, IMO)
Susie
Oh I never realized that you only get one auto-reply per person, good to know!
TO Lawyer
Definitely put an out of office message on and direct people to a contact person. From what I’ve gathered with friends/coworkers on maternity leave, they always intend to continue working but things get crazy with their schedule and the baby and they can’t always deliver. Do you have a slightly more junior colleague who can help? Or an assistant who can deliver the email to the appropriate person?
Cat
I don’t know anyone who doesn’t put up an OOO for maternity leave. The weirdest thing is that our HR does not want “maternity” referenced in the OOO. So people say things like “OOO, expecting to return September 2013, will be periodically checking email.”
Maternity Leave Question
Thanks all! You confirmed my thoughts. I was having a conversation with another female partner in our firm who said that she didn’t do the OOO at all on maternity leave because she wanted to make sure she still got any new work, was the point person for her clients, etc. I do have an assistant and junior people who can help. My assistant will have lists of who to call for anything that comes in. I’ve told clients and colleagues and opposing counsel, so no one should be surprised. I just had a last minute “am I shooting myself in the foot” moment.
cw
I turned it on, but also checked my blackberry several times a day. I found that it worked well to do both, as it gave me the choice to respond (or not) strategically and based on what else I had going on (e.g., home alone with two kids — no; but if I had a sitter or otherwise could freely respond — yes). And if anything, I think I got brownie points if people got the OOO message, then I responded substantively a few hours later.
Anonymous
You don’t have to say how long you’ll be out in your message. Just say you’re out on maternity leave.
Anonymous
Suggestions for good housewarming gifts that can be shipped? For a massachusetts gal. I’d like it to be more gift-y that practical
BankrAtty
Perhaps a Voluspa candle? They’re divine, but sort of a splurge for a candle. Or maybe some lovely tea towels? The cute ones that she probably wouldn’t buy herself.
Veronique
I don’t know if this would work for your friend, but the last housewarming present I bought was a variety of gourmet food items (Himalayan salt, infused oil, etc.), but the thing that my friend loved most was a vanilla extract infusion kit (similar to this http://www.beanilla.com/vanilla-extract-infusion-kit). She was so excited about it and said it was the best housewarming present she’s ever gotten!
rosie
Potholders in a nice pattern? I think Anthro is good for more gift-y but still semi-practical house stuff.
anon
Food52(dot)com just opened this amazing shopping site called Provisions. Lots of lovely ideas for gifts on there. I like this other site called Canvas, too (cavashomestore(dot)com).
Anonymous
I am addicted to the Agrarian DIY kits on Williams Sonoma for this type of presents – depends on the recipients taste though!
ZipStyle Seattle
Fun dress! The high waist makes it somewhat look like a maternity dress to my eye. Are you seeing that?
Speaking of dresses, I’m blogging about H&M and today picked out my favorite professional dresses: http://zipstyleseattle.com
SV in House
Menu help, please! I am having two couples (work related) over for dinner. One of the women is pregnant, one of the couples doesn’t eat pork or shellfish, and I don’t eat beef. I have a fig salad and peach pie planned, but need a main and a starch. I’d prefer not to do pasta. Good ideas for a chicken dish or a fish that the pregnant guest can eat? Or should I just do beef/lamb for them and something else for me? Bonus points if I can at least do most of the prep ahead of time and not disappear into the kitchen forever. Thanks!
NOLA
Chicken piccata? You could prep it ahead of time and it cooks quickly if the cutlets are pounded dow. Serve with brown rice maybe. I make a really good chicken that’s coated with parmesan and Italian spices then baked with a creamed spinach on top. I make the white sauce with skim milk so it’s not heavy. Best over pasta but great by itself.
Jessica Glitter
Chicken Piccata with garlic mashed potatoes!
Em
Definitely don’t make one dish for them and another for you! Part of the nice thing about having people over is that you’re having a communal dining experience. Plus, it’s just needless work for you – you can definitely have a nice main chicken or fish dish. Chicken might be easiest if you don’t know how careful the pregnant guest is about mercury. I don’t know how hot it is where you live, but if it’s reasonably temperate, what about a nice roasted chicken or a chicken pot pie? Both feel like “special occasion” dishes and are also delicious. If you want something that can be done on the stove top, I have a nice chicken and rice recipe; I’ll post the link in the next comment.
Em
This is the chicken and rice recipe: http://www.seriouseats.com/2013/01/skillet-suppers-chicken-and-rice-with-broccol.html
Anon in NYC
Thomas Keller’s roast chicken is fantastic. http://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/kellers_roast_chicken/
Veronique
I have tried the “leave chicken uncovered in fridge” tip before and it is definitely the secret to delicious, restaurant style crispy skin on your roast chicken. It’s a bit of a pain, but definitely worth it.
pilates princess
I was going to recommend roast chicken. Toss some red potatoes in the oven too.
Kanye East
Christopher Walken’s is better.
http://tinyurl.com/24okmu
Senior Attorney
The best thing about this is how not-fancy his kitchen is!
Veronique
How about roast chicken or cornish hens? Super easy, all the prep is done beforehand and bringing out a whole bird is always impressive. Classic roast potatoes or sweet potatoes (tossed with herbs or spices) is the perfect accompaniment. I like to roast potatoes with herbs de provence or a packet of dry onion soup and sweet potatoes with “warmer” spices like cumin and paprika.
Lyssa
I would do a stewed chicken of some sort, maybe a coq au vin (you can check with the pregnant guest to ensure that she’s not completely avoiding anything with alcohol, but most people will eat something that’s been cooked.) Stews are great because they are better prepared ahead. Serve with creamy mashed potatoes, a salad, and a simple veggie, like green beans with almonds.
Mmm, I’m hungry.
anon
This! I love roast chicken, but braised dishes are hard to mess up, plus no worries re: one part of the chicken cooking faster than another.
Lyssa
Right. Also, braises don’t (usually) care when you eat them. You can put it on with the expectation that you’ll eat about 6:00, but if you get into a good conversation or someone’s running late or whatever, you can easily just leave it warm for a while longer.
MsZ
This seems like a good opportunity for a stuffed chicken breast (herbed boursin cheese cut into a thawed and squeezed package of frozen spinach is easy, and the pregnant guest will be all right with the boursin; you can prep that afternoon and then just stick in the oven). I don’t like serving stewed or roast chicken to work colleagues or in any more formal setting because the bones can make eating awkward, and then you’re sitting around afterwards over an animal carcass. I’d do roasted new potatoes as a side, that can cook right alongside the chicken breasts.
You could also do salmon on cedar planks on the grill; you can assure your pregnant guest if the salmon is wild, not farmed. In this case I’d do an orzo or couscous salad that you can make ahead and serve cold.
TBK
You’ve probably already thought of this, but make sure the fig salad doesn’t have any cheese on it the pregnant guest can’t eat. (I literally could not eat any of the four side salads at a restaurant this weekend.)
Pregomama
one preggo to another- the vast majorty of cheese restrictions (feta, Brie, blue etc) only apply to UNPASTEURIZED cheeses, which is not what’s typically served in restaurants. Eg. If it comes to the restaurant in an industrial tub, it’s pasteurized.
I had the same issue my first tri; so happy I researched. Just check the labels on store cheese- pasteurized = safe.
TBK
Yeah, I’ve asked waiters if the cheese was made from unpasteurized milk but no one in the kitchen can ever answer. I feel like there’s just a lot more imported cheese out there than there was 30 years ago when our mothers were pregnant. But have definitely been eating blue cheese at home, where I can check the label.
just Karen
I just read about this last night, and it sounds super easy and delicious:
http://www.gimmesomeoven.com/hummus-crusted-chicken/
M
I have used this “Italian Chicken” dish for dinner parties with great success (link pasted below). It’s very easy, has just a few ingredients (tomatoes – which are just getting so delicious now!) and can be put in the oven to bake once you start serving cocktails. I’ve done it with spagetti squash instead of pasta to make it a more appropriate dish for summer.
M
http://providenceltddesign.com/home/2012/10/6/sunday-supperitalian-chicken.html
anon in tejas
chicken pot pie, chicken chili, chicken/broccoli/rice, chicken risotto (oven method)
Anonymous
Hello ladies! I am looking for some financial advice, and this site immediately came to mind.
I recently learned that my parents are planning on giving me $10,000 as sort of a “final send-off” gift. I had no idea this was coming. They have always supported me in non-financial ways, and they didn’t have to really contribute much money to my undergrad degree or law school because I received scholarships and took out student loans for the rest. Needless to say, I’m extremely grateful and excited!
My question is this: in my shoes, what would be a good way to use this money? I want to use it responsibly, but part of me would also love to take a chunk of it and go to Europe.
More background that might be relevant:
I’m mid-twenties, just took the Bar, have a clerkship for the next year and then some solid job prospects but no firm offers yet. I have about $45,000 in student loans and $4,000 in credit card debt that I will have paid off in 4 months time, now that I am earning a paycheck. I have a very low cost of living, and have a 13 year old car that still runs great. (So, I don’t really see myself buying a car with this money.)
Thanks so much in advance and I’m looking forward to your responses!
roses
Credit card debt, then student loan debt.
Cat
you’re not going to like this answer, but I vote to pay off the CC debt (unless it’s a 0% interest card), then add to an “emergency fund” if you don’t have one yet, and then put the majority of the rest to the loans (OR invest it, if your loans are at super low interest rates — I thought about doing this, but valued being free from debt more than the 1-2% “extra” I’d make by investing rather than paying off loans). Let’s say a $500 splurge. Treating my biglaw bonuses this way meant I dug out of $175K of student loans in 3.5 years.
Nomi
I agree with Cat. You want to have money in the bank now, so that if you don’t have a good paying job, you won’t have pissed it all away spending on an European vacation.
You do not mention a guy, so presumably none is in the picture yet. If you want one, and most of us do, you will have to appear responsible to him, not a spender, and having money in the bank is better than having some old pictures of you sitting on the Champs DeLysee or the Eiffel Tower with a lot of credit card debt and no money in the bank.
Guys look for respo9nsible women, and if you play your cards right, you can hopefully nab a good guy and get him to take you to Europe and, more importantly, have him pay for it. If you do this, you’ll still have that money in the bank and will have pictures of both you and they guy in front of the Eiffel Tower (or wherever). Even if the guy leaves, you’ll still have the trip and the money in the bank.
Get smart. Take the $10K and invest it wisely for the future.
Anna D.
Um, so she should manage her money in the hopes of impressing/nabbing a hypothetical guy who will spend money on her? Guys look for responsible women? I agree with the overall advice, but that’s ridiculous.
Anonymous
Please everyone on this site, stop responding to these fake accounts. If it sounds like weird advice about men, its not real. Just ignore
Anna D.
Sorry! Haven’t been here for a bit and didn’t know this was a thing.
Nomi
Anna D, there is nothing weird about my advice. In fact, you even agree with it, so what is the problem with:
1) attracting men
2) being financially responsible
3) having them spend money on you
To disagree with these points you either must not like men, are financially irresponsible, or do not want men to spend money on you, or all or any part of the foregoing.
Ladies, am I wrong?
LAnon
I spent $15,000 on a nine-month round the world trip a few years back. While on that trip, I met a smart, funny guy who couldn’t have cared less if I was “responsible” and was more excited that I would jump off waterfalls and ride motorcycles with him. And then I married that guy. FISCAL IRRESPONSIBILITY FOR THE WIN!!
AT
I spent $15,000 on a nine-month round the world trip a few years back. While on that trip, I met a smart, funny guy who couldn’t have cared less if I was “responsible” and was more excited that I would jump off waterfalls and ride motorcycles with him. And then I married that guy. FISCAL IRRESPONSIBILITY FOR THE WIN!!
Veronique
Credit card debt, then split the remainder between savings and/or student loan debt and something fun. I would use the fun money on a vacation or to purchase classic jewelry or a handbag that I could have forever.
LawyrChk
Credit card debt first. Out of the remaining $6,000, I’d put it all in savings/emergency fund and use a portion of it($2,000?) for your trip to Europe (which I’m assuming you’ll be planning for a while and isn’t going to be next week). $45K is student loan debt is manageable on your clerkship salary, and if it were me, I’d rather have the funds liquid in case you need them. You can always forbear your loans for a short while if needed, but you can’t forbear eating, having a roof over your head, or transportation :-)
Anon
Def pay off the credit card debt. Sounds like you were planning on throwing about $1000/month towards it once your paycheck comes in–I’d redistribute that toward extra student loan payments and saving for that European trip, maybe taking it after your clerkship/before your next job. As for the other $6000, I’d vote emergency fund/potential re-location fund for post-clerkship (cushion against incurring additional credit card debt during the next transition).
Alice
+1. I emphatically agree with the posters saying that it may be hard to schedule a vacation like this in the future, and between jobs is a perfect time to do it. I don’t really see the point of spending $500 on jewelry or a bag to the detriment of an emergency fund at this point, but a European vacation (without having to check emails or worry about work) is an opportunity that may not come around again soon. And taking this sort of vacation in your mid-twenties is different than it will be if you wait 10 years and do it in your mid-thirties. It just will.
cw
+1. Pay off the CC debt now, and put what you would have paid towards it into a short-term CD or savings account that you’ll use in a year for your European adventure. Ideally, you’ll earn a little interest, won’t accumulate any more interest on the CC debt, and can ensure that it’s there for you when you want to spend it down the line. The rest into savings/emergency fund. If you need some immediate gratification, perhaps spend $200-300 on something splurgey you wouldn’t otherwise buy.
OP
Great idea on the CD. Earning a little interest is always nice. Thank you!
Anon
Hmm, it’s really nice but not that much money really. Since you have a CC plan and can pay loans via your job, I would save it all as a cash emergency fund. I personally don’t think it’s enough to “splurge” with and if you’re just starting off you will need some ready cash emergency money in all likelihood in the next few years. Especially with an old car.
Senior Attorney
Team Emergency Fund.
AIMS
Unless you’re paying zero interest on the card, pay off the CC. It’s throwing away money to pay less than the full amount unless you absolutely have to (which you don’t).
I think the $45K in student loans is manageable enough, but I would look to see if you have a particularly high interest loan and if yes, maybe put a little extra money towards that. But basically I would take the rest ~$6K or less, and put half of it in savings and spend half of it on a fabulous European vacation. Probably, I’d try to spend a little less than half but I think up to $3K is fine. You’ll pay off your loans eventually but as long as you’re current on all your obligations, my thinking is you’re only young once and once you start working you won’t have as much time to go away either. I wouldn’t trade in a single trip for having a little less in student loan debt, and I can tell you that 4-5 years out from law school, I have a LOT less flexibility in my schedule to just go off to Europe for 2 weeks at a time.
Moved to the City
Credit card debt first, Europe on the cheap (stay in hostels, eat at grocery stores), and then a small emergency fund. Travel just gets harder the longer that you work and I would take advantage of your time now. You can always make money, but you won’t always have the opportunity to take a trip that you’ve been dreaming about. It all depends on your priorities though — I abhor credit card debt and would never want to have a balance, but it’s worth it to me to scrimp on a lot of things to afford travel.
OP
Thank you all for your insightful responses! Getting rid of my CC debt first definitely seems to be the consensus. I think I’m leaning towards doing that, and then socking the rest away in an emergency fund. I wouldn’t be going to Europe until a year from now when my clerkship ends, so I’d have a whole year to save up for that. And if I needed to still take out about $2k from said emergency fund for the trip, I wouldn’t feel too bad about it. Like several of you mentioned, I too am thinking that my current obligations and schedule would more easily permit a two-week vacay a year from now, as opposed to five or ten years from now.
Again, thank you all!
Anonymous
How can I fix squeaky heels? They are kitten heels, I just had a rubber heel protector added by a shop I trust, and they only squeak on wood floors. My other shoes don’t squeak, and these didn’t before the rubber piece was added. It seems to occur as I strike with my heel and roll through. Any ideas?
Nellie
Shopping PSA: Ann Taylor has 40% off everything today with code TRENDS40. I ordered a cartful of basics—I know the quality is hit or miss these days, but I hope some of the pieces I chose work.
BankrAtty
I need to have a small-ish but dense piece of furniture shipped from San Antonio to Seattle. I’ve never seem the item in person, but I’m told it’s about 2×2, maybe slightly taller, and probably weighs about 50 lbs. What’s the best way to go about doing this? The item is an heirloom piece currently living in my spouse’s aunt’s home; she’s shipping it to me so I can surprise him with it for his 30th birthday. (He has fond childhood memories associated with the item.)
preg anon
I had to do something similar a few years ago and called a moving company. I don’t remember which one. I remember it being more expensive than I expected. I think it was like several hundred dollars to move in-state (from Dallas to Houston) so I’m afraid it would be really expensive to do it across country; a moving company may not be the best bet for you.
moving ninja
Try Greyhound (no, really!). They have dimension and weight restrictions, but I think you’re well within the limits, and it’s so much cheaper than moving companies.
SunnyD
My mom bought some furniture on e-bay and had it shipped Greyhound. I don’t think it was very expensive and it wasn’t a problem as long as you don’t mind going to the station to pick it up (they won’t deliver it to your house).
zora
Warning: Greyhound’s insurance liability SUCKS (for the customer) and they are very good at losing things. I spent 2 years trying to get a payment from them for $5,000 worth of work items that had been lost by Greyhound. 2 of 6 packages disappeared and were never seen from again. So, if this is something irreplaceable by money, I would not use Greyhound. If it is replaceable, I would still get it separately insured before sending it by Greyhound.
Senior Attorney
My UPS Store has a pack and ship service. The aunt might want to inquire there. (At her UPS Store, not mine!)
anon in tejas
amtrack?
Aa
So I’m finally getting around to updating my résumé post bar admission, but where do I put my admission info? I only have 3 sections: education, work experience, publications. Should I overhaul the whole thing?
Anna D.
Don’t know if this is a good answer, but I just added my admission number to the header with my contact info, like so:
Name
Street Address – City, State – Zip
[phone] -[ e-mail address] – [state] Attorney Registration No. xxxxx
(the above is all centered on my resume and the dashes are bullet points)
Veronique
Add a section called Bar Admission or Professional License. I would also review the rest of your resume to ensure that it is a working professional resume, not a student resume (for example, work experience comes first).
Aa
Ah, changing the order never occurred to me, I’m so used to CV land that general résumés confuse me. Thanks!
Anon in NYC
I recently revised my resume so that it has the following sections (in order): work experience, education, other. I put bar admissions in ‘other’. Depending on how many publications you have, I would put that in ‘other’ as well.
Anonymous
Yes. Mine is:
Employment (On some resumes I’ve used in the past, I’ve broken out Legal Employment and Other Employment)
Education
Admissions
Memberships and Organizations
Presentations and Publications
Aa
Do you include bar association memberships even if you’re not really active? It never occurred to me to add these things, definitely going to do a full overhaul now!
TBK
I don’t have bar association memberships. I have experience, education, publications, admissions.
Anon
I only include bar association memberships where I have held a leadership role.
Anonymous
Yes. I include the local bar association and the state bar association memberships. I also include any positions I’ve held in them. I include organizations that I am active in or volunteer with (board member or other significant volunteer experience). I note if I’ve chaired some kind of event or something.
Anonymous
Interview question: would you carry a turquoise padfolio if everything else is black….black suit, black shoes, black handbag? I have a nice black leather padfolio, but it seems like too.much.black. and I’d like a bit of color. The turquoise padfolio is very simple leather with a clasp. This is for IT, not law, but the company leans toward traditional.
Carrie Preston
Yes. And I might give you many extra points for it too.
RR
Ditto. I’d think you were professional but fun (and I’m in BigLaw).
Senior Attorney
YES!
Anon
I really want one now!
Anon for this
Anon so I don’t out myself. The comments yesterday about canceling vacation for work got me thinking. A senior associate in my biglaw office recently had to cancel on her brother’s destination wedding – in which she was a bridesmaid – at the last minute because of something that the partner knew about well in advance but refused to staff properly. Associate was told I think the day she was supposed to fly out that she was the only one doing the work and she needed to be in the office to do it. This was after months of communicating with the partner about the work to be done and the upcoming wedding, offering to work remotely, securing other people (including me) to staff the matter, etc. It’s obviously a pretty egregious example, but I see this kind of passive aggressiveness all the time – “Well I’m not going to tell you that you can’t go on your vacation, but this work needs to get done so manage that however you see fit.” I’m curious, what do you do in a situation like this? Do you miss once in a lifetime family events? Say scr*w it to work and deal with the consequences later? I know we’re generally expected to be available, but is there EVER a time you can take a hard line?
Carrie Preston
That is why I left biglaw. Personally I would have gone to the wedding. My family willnalways be there for me, my law firm? Not so much. I would have come back and started looking if I got the sense itbwas being held against me, and really, if a firm expected me to work rather than go to a family wedding, I wouldn’t keep working there. Yes, getting a new job is hard but if you’re in biglaw I am assuming you have credentials and some options. My line would be crossed for family obligations and best friends.
Betty
Me too. This was one of the big reasons I left biglaw. Personally, I also would have attended my brother’s wedding, as it would have been non-negotiable for me. (Tip: Book an early morning flight so that you are already on your way if you get the “I need you in the office” message.) My personal examples: Partner emailed me when my child was 6 days old to ask if I was available to help with a matter. Partner had me cancel a trip with my SO, and asked that since I had to be in the office on Monday anyway, could I be there to help over the weekend too? Being asked two days before maternity leave if I was available to help with a time-sensitive and intensive matter for three to four days (i.e. 16-18 hour days). I could go on, but those are some of my favorites.
Former BigLaw Here
I worked with some of the more “reasonable” partners, but I worked (full days) during every vacation I took during the 7 years I worked there. Though my husband had his doubts, no matter how much notice your colleagues have of your trip, it’s irrelevent when the deadline/motion/hearing falls during the trip – even if others have notice of the deadline/motion/hearing well in advance of your trip. I found that it was just expected that you would work during trips, mostly because everyone else did.
Most egregious for me? I was asked to come in over the weekend after I no longer worked there (i.e., my last day was a Wednesday, but I got asked to come in for a few hours on the upcoming Saturday/Sunday, which was a holiday weekend, to prep for a hearing.).
I would have not missed the wedding. That would be a complete dealbreaker for me.
Cora
Count me in as another person who left biglaw, in part, because of this type of thing.
Friday
In BigLaw here. It sounds like your colleague did everything right in the lead-up in terms of planning and preparation at work. If it was suggested to me at the last minute that I couldn’t go to my brother’s wedding, I would still absolutely go to the wedding without even a second thought (and I would be mad as hell at the suggestion) and if I did anything additional, it would be to do whatever I could in that last day to read someone else in and assist in making plans for the completion of the work in my absence. All that said, you say your colleague is a “senior associate” which sounds like partnership could be a consideration – that certainly does add pressure. The year before I was promoted I worked like an animal, and knew that because of the “business case” there was a chance that any little perceived negative could be used against me by those who wanted to advance their own mentees. Even so, I would have gone to the wedding.
KLG
I agree. There is no way I would miss a sibling’s wedding for work after having given plenty of advance notice. They can fire me over it. I just can’t possibly imagine facing my family after telling them I prioritized work over them (given that my family is close and not crazy or dysfunctional). And I would be so resentful of having missed out on a such a fun, important celebration that my work product would probably nosedive and result in me being fired anyways.
Anonymous
I would have never missed the wedding in that situation. It is so shocking to me to read that. I think she did herself a huge disservice. I think she actually hurt herself professionally, and Im sure personally because of how sad she is to miss her brothers wedding, and Im sure her brother is hurt as well. I would have said “Well, unfortunately I can’t be in the office because I am leaving for my brother’s wedding. However, I have done a, b, and c to make sure everything is covered while I am gone. Additionally, I will be working remotely today after the flight.
Friday
I totally agree with you that she did herself a disservice professionally. I would also look around the office and see what others are doing. For example, would the firm’s partners miss a family member’s wedding? I’m guessing no. (If yes, I would suggest finding a different firm; they do exist).
Houston Attny
Agree with Anonymous and Friday. I think she did herself a disservice professionally. I think she should’ve told him and then e-mailed him to follow up, as you suggested – “I’ve done a, b and c, and, as we’ve discussed numerous times over the past few weeks, this is a commitment I am not able or willing to break.”
CKB
I’m not in law, but if I ever had an employer who expected me to cancel on my brother’s wedding in which I was a bridesmaid I’d seriously, seriously consider if this was a place I wanted to work long term. While on the plane to the wedding. Especially when I had taken all those steps to make sure everything would be covered while I was gone.
Family is a major priority for me (married with 3 kids) and I don’t think I could work for a firm/company that didn’t support, or at least understand that.
Anon
“if I ever had an employer who expected me to cancel on my brother’s wedding in which I was a bridesmaid I’d seriously, seriously consider if this was a place I wanted to work long term. While on the plane to the wedding.”
This. Especially your last sentence.
Senior Attorney
I cancelled a family vacation for work when my son was very small, and I can still see his little face crumple when I told him he wasn’t going to get to ride on an airplane after all. Ugh. If I had that choice to make again, I would have made it differently.
As to the matter at hand, I agree with everything Carrie Preston says above. I think the associate should have gone to the wedding and raised holy hell if the partner tried to retaliate.
TBK
Yep, me too. And everyone here knows I typically take a pretty hard line on these things, but d@mn! What an @hole! The only, only time it would be okay for a partner to suggest an associate miss HER BROTHER’S WEDDING for work would be if a super emergency came up quickly and the partner really believed that particular associate’s presence was crucial to the case. AND the partner should buy her a bottle of something very nice as a thank you and sing her praises to his partners. But seriously, canceling a trip? It happens. Canceling a trip to be a guest at a friend’s or cousin’s wedding? That, too. But not canceling on being a bridesmaid, or being at a very close relative’s wedding, especially when the associate was extremely conscientious in making sure she would be able to go. Yuck. I hate this partner on her behalf.
Anon
“The only, only time it would be okay for a partner to suggest an associate miss HER BROTHER’S WEDDING for work would be if a super emergency came up quickly and the partner really believed that particular associate’s presence was crucial to the case.”
The only way I agree with this sentence is if by “associate” you mean “the only heart surgeon in a 500 mile radius” and the super emergency requires heart surgery, right now.
Otherwise, you can always find another cog.
TBK
In principle, yes. In reality, if the associate wants to make partner, I could see it going down this way.
OP
TBK, I’m relieved to hear this is your position. Your advice about biglaw expectations has always been spot on. When this happened to associate, I felt like maybe I’m really, really not cut out for this job.
Anon in NYC
I would struggle with this. On the one hand, it’s a significant family event that my parents/siblings etc. would be extremely upset that I missed (seriously – there’s no excuse that would make this up to my brother). On the other hand, it could be terrible for me professionally. Especially if I’m a senior associate and I’m gunning for partnership.
I think my first reaction would be to find another partner with whom I had a good relationship and ask for his or her opinion and advice, armed with all of the details about what I had done to make sure the case was properly staffed while I was away, with the hopes that they would tell me to go to my brother’s wedding and we could coordinate staffing on the case. Basically, looking for cover for the decision to go to my brother’s wedding.
If they only gave me passive aggressive answers (most likely scenario), I’d probably wind up setting up all of my technology (international phone access, etc.) so that I could be available the entire time that I was away with the exception of required wedding events, and working closely with a trusted associate on the ground so that we were covered at all times. If necessary, I would rearrange my flight home so that I could get back earlier. Of course, I’d be cursing biglaw the entire time I was doing all of this, and this would be one more nail in the coffin before I started to think about going somewhere else.
Anonymous almost in paris
I posted yesterday about missing my vacation and I’m not even in big law any more so it really is a function of being a lawyer and being made to feel indispensable sometimes. Till you get laid off! My theory is I’m not saving lives so nothing is ever that important at work compared with serious family obligations.
And ps- My SO turned out to be not so thrilled when I told him about canceling the trip. So much for my theory that he was ambivalent. Now trying to figure out if there’s still a way to make it happen and not upset folks at work.
Anonymous almost in paris
Further note- I’m in corporate so if you are in litigation or a different area, there may be some instances where you are saving lives so take this with a grain of salt :)
Anon
I can’t imagine any instance where in litigation you would be saving lives, except maybe asking for a stay for a client on death row or something like the Terri Shiavo case.
Anon
I work in BigLaw at a top firm and I think this is INSANE. I have heard of people having to cancel vacations here (extremely rarely) and many people definitely work on their vacations, but I am almost positive that no one at my firm would ever ask someone to miss a close family member’s wedding. If that ever happened to me, I would go, and if the partner had an issue with it, I would quit. Period. And if I heard about it happening to someone else, I would probably re-think my future at the firm. I would never want to work at a place that would ask someone to do something like that.
AnonNYC
Agree. This is insane even by big BigLaw standards.
Jeni
Third.
Anne Shirley
This is my line. I’d say screw it. I’d go to the wedding and if I get fired, I get fired.
Miss Behaved
Just received an email from The Limited saying that for 3 hours only (from 11 am to 2 pm, wherever you live), you can get 50% off one item and 30% off each additional item.
Only the fact that they don’t have free shipping is keeping me from buying the skirt I want. That and the fact that my birthday is in less than 3 weeks so I shouldn’t be buying clothes for myself.
Aa
This is such bad/good news!
Veronique
Any thoughts/feedback on hiring someone to load/unload a uhaul or pod versus using a full service moving company? I feel like it would be a lot cheaper to do the former for a 1 bedroom apartment. Any suggestions for companies in the Midwest or Southeast?
rosie
Having put some thought into this and ended up using a full-service company (as in, they provide the truck, pack it, drive it, and unload it), here are some things I found helpful to think about:
– For a pod, will you definitely be able to keep it in a convenient spot for as long as you will have it on both ends?
– For a uhaul, who is going to drive?
– How much flexibility do you have in scheduling the drop off/pick up of the pod?
Not sure if you’re looking at uhaul pods, but they seemed very not convenient because you have to pick up and drop off the empties yourself, which would really require renting a trailer.
Veronique
These are all good questions to consider. Thank you! If I used a uhaul pod, I would probably use their moving help delivery option, where they have an external moving company deliver the pod, load it, move, then unload.
BankrAtty
I have used movers hired through the U-Haul site with great success twice. They were really good at packing my POD–not sure what I would have done without them! It’s usually about $100 for 2 hours for 3 guys, but that can of course vary by area. I’ll post the link below.
BankrAtty
http://www.uhaul.com/MovingHelp/
Anna D.
I have hired people to load a small moving truck/unload the truck (found them through the UHaul website), so the husband and I drove the truck and other people did the heavy lifting. It’s way cheaper than “real” movers, and you have much more control over the process (when you use the “real” movers, and you don’t have enough stuff to fill up their truck, you’re kind of at the whim of their schedule, when they’ll actually get the stuff to you) (this is assuming you’re moving across country rather than in-town). For a 1-BR, it would be way cheaper. I strongly recommend just going to the UHaul website, look for the moving helpers section (it’s called something like that), and read the reviews/check out the prices. We easily found loaders/unloaders who did an excellent job and it was about $100 minimum each time – unless you have the most luxurious, packed 1 BR of all time I’d be amazed if it cost you much more (I’m not in the midwest/southeast, but similar price point).
Most of the people advertising through the U-Haul website seem to be small companies/labor contractors who don’t necessarily have a lot of web presence, and unlike companies moving you across country, they’re really local, so it’s hard to suggest specific companies, but I really have had a great experience just going based off of those reviews.
(Also, never actually rent the truck through U-Haul – everyone I know who has, has been screwed over. We use Penske and it’s always been wonderful.)
In the Pink
I have used “three men movers” (the originals) several times. Even for picking up building supplies (re: tiles) at a warehouse, taking them to the site, and then unloading at the site. Can’t say enough. They use their own trucks, of course.
Veronique
Thanks for all the great advice! As a follow-up, has anyone had experience towing a car behind a rented truck? I would probably do this to save gas if I decided on a rental truck, though I wonder if it would be more trouble than it’s worth…
mascot
A few things I would think about 1) how much experience do you have towing something? That’s going to be a an unfamiliar truck you are driving with questionable gas mileage and 2) can your car be towed on one of those car towing kits without messing it up and 3) how much money are you really going to save by the time you pay for the car dolly and decreased gas mileage.
Verbal Feedback
Hi Ladies – I have a question on feedback. I’ve seen lots of people on this site recommend keeping a folder for the positive feed back that you get, partially for your reviews.
I’m a first year in biglaw, and will have my first review sometime at the end of the year. I’ve recently been given a significant amount of responsibility at work (i.e. more than a typical first year would be given due to unforeseen staffing issues) and have gotten positive feedback from both the client and partner. The only problem is that it has all been verbal feedback.
When you get verbal feedback, do you typically document it to yourself via email? Or just assume that those giving the feedback will submit it in writing when asked come year end reviews? Am I completely overthinking this?
Thanks!
Gus
Do you get the opportunity to write a year end report or something like that? If so, it would appropriate to mention the feedback from the client there. Usually, you talk about your professional development in those self-analyses, so you say something like “This year, I was very fortunate to be given an unusual amount of responsibility [describe]; it was a real challenge and I think I did very well in managing the responsibility, as reflected in the fact that the client commented to me [describe].” But for any comments from the partner, you just have to assume/hope that he or she remembers to put it in your review.
TBK
I would keep a running document and note the date, the person, and what they said. Hopefully they’ll say positive things come review time, but you can’t always bet on that. In the meantime, it might be worth asking the partner if you could sit down for 15 min to discuss your current work. Say that because it’s more responsibility than a first year typically gets, you’d like to make sure you’re on track and to identify any areas for improvement. Partners are notoriously bad at giving real time feedback. There was a recent poster who was blindsided by a bad review after lots of seemingly positive casual feedback. You can follow up after the meeting with an email to the partner, thanking him/her for taking the time to meet, and summarizing what s/he said.
LH
I really disagree and think most partners would find this annoying, except perhaps in circumstances where you have received a negative review. If you’re not on track, they will tell you (especially as a junior associate). If nobody says anything, you’re doing fine. If you couldnt handle the additional responsibility, they wouldnt be giving it to you. The partners I work for would find this conversation to be a huge waste of time. Biglaw is not a place where people expect to hold your hand all the time and tell you how great you are. The bottom line is the fact that you keep getting the challenging assignments (and positive feedback) tells you all you need to know.
TBK
I see your point. The thing is, I don’t think it’s true that “if you’re not on track, they will tell you.” Also, I think it’s shameful how little time partners spend training associates these days. This isn’t about holding someone’s hand. It’s about timely feedback. I can’t tell you how many people I know who were doing something in their cases that was not what the partner wanted, but had no idea until 9+ months later (because reviews were never on schedule) when it was too late to fix. This is such a huge disservice to the associates, and to the firm. There’s a lot that goes on at biglaw that many people may find distasteful (see thread above re canceling travel plans) but that I feel is just part of the life. But the complete lack of direction that many junior associates are given is not one of them.
There’s a difference between needing constant feedback and gold stars, and asking that partners say to associates, plainly and close to the event “this isn’t good because x, y, z. Go fix it.” Or “it’s not okay that you [blank]. Please don’t do that while working on my cases.” I worked for a handful of partners who did this and it was amazing. I also worked for partners who never said anything to associates except “that’s great” then slammed them in reviews. Written reviews ARE an associate’s career at a big firm. Once they’re written, there is no real way to challenge them. I’ve seen associates try (often when the partner literally got facts wrong — said it was Associate A who was late with a brief when it was actually Associate B who wrote that brief) and it never went well for the associate.
Maybe it’s not worth the partner’s time to take 15 min (although I so, so wish biglaw would realign its incentives to make 0.3 damn hours worth a partner’s time for this) to give feedback to the associate, but I do think it would be worth saying in passing “Partner, if you have any suggestions for how I could improve [that brief I wrote/talking points I gave you/contributions I made to the last conference call] I would love to hear your thoughts.” Also, finding out if the partner has a senior associate s/he really likes could be helpful. That associate might be willing to give you some insider tips on keeping the partner happy. Meanwhile, I’m sure you’re already doing your best to make friends with the partner’s secretary. That’s always a huge help.
Anyway, thanks everyone for listening to my rant on the [non] training of junior lawyers in big law today.
CM
This +1,000,000. I completely agree with the advice to keep a running list of what you’re working on (client, matter, type of work, specific things you worked on, notes of any “real” feedback from clients or sr. attorneys). Not only will this come in handy when framing those conversations to seek additional feedback (I did not read your original advice to mean become the stalker needy associate but rather to just keep tabs on what you’re doing and to use as a tool when do get opportunities for deeper conversations) but will be invaluable if you decide you want to change firms. It can help you draft your transaction list/deal list and help you complete your conflicts check form without outing yourself to the Conflicts Department who may or may not out you to your department head. Finally, a list like this is invaluable when it comes time to write your self-evaluation.
LH
I think you’re over thinking it a little. Verbal feedback is nice but what really matters is what is what’s in writing, so I don’t think there is a lot of point in making a record of it. Keep in mind that even if you are doing great your first review may be average. Many firms like to start pretty much all first years with a review that says “this person is doing fine, seems to be on track for a first year.” I had a lot of positive feedback as a first year and my first review was very neutral and I understand that is common – just saying not to be discouraged if your review doesn’t seem to reflect all the positive feedback.
Verbal Feedback
Thanks all for your suggestions! Based on your comments, I get the feeling this may be a ‘know your partner’ situation in terms of asking for a formal sit down, so I’ll proceed with that in mind.
LH, thanks for the reminder about neutral reviews. I keep hearing this, but know when my review rolls around, I’ll need to remind myself of it again to not be discouraged!
Anon for this
Okay, this is going to be annoying, but it’s a serious question: do we no longer have to make a distinction between “oral” and “verbal”? In the last week I’ve heard three different lawyers use “verbal” to refer to nonwritten communications. I was always taught that verbal just means expressed in words – either written or nonwritten, whereas oral means spoken, not written. As in, an “oral agreement” is unwritten, but a “verbal agreement” may be written or spoken, and a handshake agreement is neither.
anon
I’m going to a traditional gentlemen’s club for lunch today! (Not that kind of gentlemen’s club!) I’m nervous and wanted to share. Trying not to be an ELLEN.
Jessica Glitter
I am intrigued, please report back!
anon
it was fun, the architecture of the building was insane (!!!) and having creme brulee and wine for lunch is something i could totally get used to. it was like traveling back in time :)
Anon
Oh man, I am having a super rough week. I started a new job 8 weeks ago and am having a hard time staying positive about my abilities and work product. I realize that my boss doesn’t expect me to know everything right off the bat; however, I just can’t seem to shake this feeling that I’m failing. The position (corporate tax if it matters) is in a niche industry so it’s really about spending time in the industry before you know entirely what you’re doing. I’ve just never received so many review notes in my life. I don’t know if I’m just looking to vent or if I’m looking for advice…comments welcome.
Houston Attny
The words ‘corporate tax’ make me nervous, so HUGS to you first. But I think you know to keep those notes and comments, review them and when there’s a little downtime, ask any questions you have about them. What do you think about asking your boss if she could suggest a course or paper that would help you at this stage? Though that might be something you’ll better receive and retain after another month or so.
Remember how there were things toward the beginning of your last job that made no sense or that you jotted down on a note pad so you wouldn’t forget? And how after a bit of time, you wonder why you thought you should write down something that is so “duh” to your daily work now? Keep in mind that this is still the case at the new place, plus the entirely new field of corporate tax.
Also, yesterday someone asked how long it takes to get fully acclimated to a new job. The responses tended to 6 months – 1 year. So take heart! You’ve got time and it sounds like you have an understanding boss.
Hang in there. Tomorrow is Friday!
Anon
Just received more review notes and had to chant to myself – “you’re new, it won’t be this way next year”, and repeat. Unfortunately, there is really no course that can teach me what I need to know. I just need to learn this company and industry inside and out. Thank you for the encouraging words. New jobs are so emotional!
Anonymous
Where do you all buy pillows and linens? And how do you pick pillows? It seems that no matter how many I try, they all end up lumpy after a few months.
Veronique
Mostly TJ Maxx/Marshalls/Home Goods. I find that spending a bit more reduces/prevents pillow lumpiness, as well as regular washing on gentle and drying with dryer balls (or clean tennis balls).
Maggie
I also go to TJ Maxx/Marshalls/Homegoods. My very non-scientific approach is that the cheapest ones will probably be the worst so I pick the middle to high priced brands (which are generally still a good deal!) from what they have available.
rosie
I have had Ikea pillows for a while, and I like them. They are cheap and have different pillows for side, back, etc. sleepers.
jcb
I buy linens from ruelala.com sales. Every now and then they have good sales on high-quality linens. Pillows I haven’t figured out yet.
Brooklyn Paralegal
TJ Maxx/Marshalls/Homegoods and Target. I usually get the Threshold brand from Target; it can be a little pricey, but I have the most gorgeous all cotton knit blanket I wrap myself up in every night while I watch Law and Order reruns and eat cheese that I absolutely adore.
I also check out department store sales. Macy’s pretty consistently has high quality bedding on sale.
Merabella
I just found a Masterpiece Theater miniseries about Elizabeth I starring Tom Hardy and Kevin McKidd (both always so much hotter in period films), it is like the embodiment of all of my favorite things in one place.
onehsancare
I keep an email folder entitled “Strokes” where I put positive comments from clients and other lawyers. It’s helpful at review time, or any time I’m feeling a little low.
Autism
I have a step-sister with whom I’m not particularly close (she grew up with her mom and my dad on one side of the country, and I lived with my mom on the other side and visited for about two weeks each summer). She has a son and has, in the last month or two, been posting all kinds of things on FB about autism, parents of kids with autism, and how she’d love to “see and feel his world just once.” My dad also recently mentioned that my nephew was “a special needs kid.” It seems like there must have been a fairly recent diagnosis, since there were no autism postings or anything until the last few months. I’d like to reach out in some way because I get the impression she’s processing a lot right now (she also has some severe mental health issues, so I think it must be a burden on her and my BIL to have another family member who needs special assistance). The thing is, I don’t want to say anything to suggest this is either a particularly bad thing or good thing. I understand that there are people (many people? most people?) in the autism community who see it not as a disability, but simply as a different way of processing the world. I’d hate to suggest my nephew was disabled but I also don’t want to minimize what this is likely to mean for my step-sister and her husband. Any advice on what the right thing to say is? I also haven’t been formally told about any diagnosis, but there’s all this stuff on FB. What should I do to help my step-sister, BIL, and nephew?
Blonde Lawyer
Maybe focus on how it impacts her instead of him and using vague and neutral words until you get her take on the matter.
Hey step-sis, saw your posts on facebook. I’m assuming nephew is autistic? You must be bombarded with information right now. It must be challenging to have to adjust to all of this. Were you referred to some good support services? Let me know if you ever want to talk. I don’t know much about autism but I’m happy to listen.
– cross country step sis
Been There
Call her. Say something like, hey, step-sister— I’ve seen your posts and it looks like you have some stuff going on with [nephew]. Then let her talk. Respond with things like, how are you feeling about that? Tell you care about her and nephew and to keep you posted.
Then read the articles she puts on FB, think about them, respond thoughtfully. It’s an ongoing situation and what she needs is ongoing support. Also, it often takes years for the diagnosis to settle (in terms of how verbal the child becomes, whether or not s/he is in mainstream classrooms, etc.). So “will s/he talk? Will s/he ever live alone?” type questions are particularly stressful. It’ll take time for the parents to even know exactly what they are dealing with.
Good luck.
Negotiating Realtor Fee
May be too late for responses, but I’ll try.
Has anyone negotiated down realtor fees? We’re going to be selling and buying with the same agent. My understanding is half of the 6% is for the other agent and generally considered non-negotiable, but I have heard that your agent’s cut is negotiable. I’m not sure to what level, though. Should I just be happy to get down to 5% or is 4% reasonable since she’ll get paid twice?
Carrie Preston
So you can try & your agent may agree, but I would think twice before doing that. Her firm will take a cut too & you’re really asking her to make less than she ordinarily would to do all the work on selling your house. This could lead to her not having as much incentive to do anything more than the minimum for you. I don’t like trying to get a “deal” from people that I’m asking to do a lot of work for me and that has a standard that they should be paid. I don’t think you get the best service when you do that & I think you also risk having a sour relationship, even if you don’t really realize it. Just my .02. Your opinion may vary . . .
MsZ
We have always negotiated realtor fees, usually after we get an offer. That way everyone’s got some skin in the game in getting the parties to come to an agreement and to closing.
In-House Optimist
This. We actually just did this for a house we’re under contract on now – we went in without a buyer’s agent and the seller’s agent was willing to negotiate a percentage of her fee in order to get the deal done (the sellers are a bit cray-cray about what they thought their house was worth, so we were super appreciative).
OP
Thanks for that. Our realtor knows that our top concern is the sale of our house not resulting with enough for a down payment on the next, which is why I was considering negotiating. If it looks like it will be an issue, it’s nice to know that’s a possibility during offers. I’ll leave it be for now.
anon2
I’d say a lot of this depends on what the market looks like in your area. I’m just wrapping up the selling of one home and buying a new one with the same agent. I paid the full rates because our market is so crazy that you need someone to be a strong advocate for you and get you into properties before anyone else gets there, which means being available at the drop of a hat. My realtor is only human so it would be crazy to think he’s going to go the extra mile for me when I’ve effectively told him he isn’t worth his usual fee. Just saying’.
OP
That’s a good point… I hear the market is like that here, too.
Tube top at the office?
A tube top at the office is poor form, correct? We have a new employee fresh out of school who has worn one a few times. She starts with a jacket over and it’s not noticeably a tube top, but at some point of the day she removes her jacket and sits at her desk (in cube land) in just the tube top.
We do not have client/vendor contact. My office is west-coast casual (women wear everywhere from trouser/blouse or shift to jeans/tshirt), but there’s certainly no precedent for tube top. Occasionally women remove their jacket/cardigan and wear a shell, but that’s the extent of bare shoulders. I know one young woman who once wore a one-shoulder dress was spoken to by a supervisor, but she’s in a completely different workgroup.
Since I am senior to her on a project and filling some department mentoring duties, I felt I should gently suggest it was not appropriate. But when I mentioned it to a couple of friends outside of work, they thought it was completely fine. Is it fine? Should I say something to her?
Veronique
Definitely not ok! Where do your friends work?
Tube top at the office?
Offices with client and/or vendor contact, but a similar dress (a smidge nicer probably, but not much). I was taken aback since I think of them having higher standards, but maybe they think I work in some sort of ultra-relaxed free-for-all or something.
Also, since my friends asked, my office is climate controlled. I used to work in an office that was like a greenhouse and it *was* a free-for-all in the summer, but it’s not the situation here.
gov anon
Dress code at my office is practically nonexistent and you can see just a out everything from sparkly sweats to full on suits. And I have never ever seen a tube top. Not office appropriate for any office. If nothing else isn’t it a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen?
Carrie Preston
Sorry – I read a little too quickly, I just caught that you’re using the same agent for both sides of the deal. I haven’t done that before, but it seems to me to be much more reasonable to ask for a reduction in this case. I’d think 4-5% would be fair. 5% might be high — in the Bay Area, that’s the going rate for agent cuts w/ 2 different agents.
Negotiating Realtor Fee
Thanks. Just to be clear, I mean that we’ll be using the same agent to sell our home and buy our next one in the same market.