This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.
Boden recently added some new great suiting separates, and I kind of love them all. The geometric lines with the contrast tipping, the stretchy cotton, the streamlined look… lovely. Maddeningly, they never show the pieces together (although I think the top photo is of the jacket and the skirt). The jacket (Blackfriars Jacket) is $138 and available in black and navy; the dress (Holborn Dress) is $138 and available in black, navy, graphite, and “russet red” (with blue details!); the skirt (Breadwinner Skirt) is $78 and available in black, navy, and a nice purple. All pieces are available in sizes 2-18 (with tall options for the skirt and dress).
 |
 |
 |
Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Nonny
Reposting from this morning (I got shunted onto the second page):
So my normally very loving and affectionate cat attacked me last night. There is no other word for it. She started nipping at my feet as I went up the stairs to get ready for bed, and then started meowing at me in a weird, focussed way. Once I was ready for bed, I sat down on the bed to placate her, but when I tried to pet her, she bit my hand in a semi-serious manner, then attacked my leg. I got up to walk across the room and she leapt into the air, grabbed my forearm with all four feet, held on, and tried to bite my hand. She never broke skin but I have cat scratches all over me. I shut her out of the room for a while and when I opened the door later she was totally normal and was her usual loving self this morning. I can’t figure out what got into her.
The only thing I can think of is that (a) we were away all week last week, so she has probably been annoyed about that, (b) we tried to clip her toenails last night, which she doesn’t like and fights vigorously, and (c) I got home late from work so she didn’t get her normal routine of sitting on my lap after dinner. The combination might have thrown her off – I can see how that would cause her stress. But I’ve owned cats for ages and this has never happened before. It was really weird. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this with a cat? I’m just scratching my head trying to figure out what got into her.
AIMS
How long have you had her? My mom’s cat does this from time to time; it’s a bit of a compulsion for him. He will do it when he is annoyed like when he’s left alone for too long, but sometimes for no reason at all it seems. The only thing I can say is that with him, you can usually see it coming because his eyes get really big and dark right before it happens. He becomes very cute looking actually. And then attacks, and also usually on the leg. I think it’s a mixture of anxiety and misdirected energy. Once you can recognize the signs, you can often just redirect his energy at that point or walk away and he will generally be fine in no time.
Blue
+1 on checking the eyes. My cat’s pupils get HUGE when he’s about to bite. For him it’s more of a play thing than an actual aggression thing, but you can usually see it coming if you’re paying attention.
anon
THIS is why I’m afraid of cats!!!!!!! i don’t want to redirect their energy- just don’t attack me.
mascot
caveat, I only have dogs and they aren’t the type that stay in a snit for long. Generally, one or two episodes of weird behavior that doesn’t result in anyone getting injured means I watch them carefully and give them a good rub-down inspection for an injury. Continued abnormal behavior means I call the vet and we go in for a work-up.
Violet_04
I have three cats. I agree with what mascot said. Watch her and see if there is any pattern to her agressive behavior. I think the disruption of her normal routine could be the problem. Once things settle down, then she how she does.
anne-on
Yup, sometimes it happens when my cat is overstimulated. But its very similar to what you described. I usually scruff my cat and put her in a different room until she calms down. It often happens when I’m back from traveling and my husband hasn’t been paying her enough attention (he’s not a cat person).
L
Get her checked out. I had a cat who did this and had a UTI. Pain makes animals act in a bizarre way. Assuming that is all clear, start easing into a new routine now. A little pet/play/food before bed to get her calm down. Especially with a baby on the way, you want to nip this in the bud.
goldribbons
+1
Nonny
Thanks, everyone. We’ve only had her for about 6 months and this is the first time anything like this has happened. I’ll keep a close eye on it. She hasn’t had any litter box issues that normally accompany a UTI but I’ll watch for that and try to ensure she gets some consistency in her routine. Her routine did break down when we were away and then again last night since I got home so late, so I suspect that may be a large part of it. But I agree, I don’t want this to happen with a baby around.
Anonymous
Is your cat spayed/fixed? This type of aggressive behavior becomes the norm when they are in heat. It is absolutely essential to have your pet fixed. That’s my PSA, assuming you haven’t tended to that already.
Merabella
Cats are really good at hiding injuries. It may not seem like there is anything going on on the surface, but there might actually be an issue. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to get her checked out at the Vet if you haven’t stopped by there yet – even if it is just a wellness checkup.
Nonny
Thanks, guys. She is spayed and when we last took her to the vet at the beginning in April the vet was impressed how healthy she was, especially given that she was an SPCA cat. But it might be worth a call to the vet….I’ve been thinking about chatting with the vet about her ongoing passionate objection to having her toenails trimmed anyway.
Merabella
I don’t think any cat has a deep affection for getting their toe nails clipped, so that may never go away. One thing that we always did with our cat was to make sure that they were in a calm state before we engaged in toe nail clipping – if they are already anxious that experience ends up just making it worse.
Anonymous
My mother’s cat did this, we had her for 18 years and she was 17 when she did it, was totally sweet up till then, and shortly thereafter we learned she had kidney failure. Definitely I would suggest a check up.
Trudy Beekman
Our cat does goes through very frequent bursts of this – usually as we begin getting ready for bed, but occasionally in the mornings as well when I walk in the direction of the bathroom/bedroom. We’ve brought it up to the vet a few times and none of the doctors have been concerned about a physical reason for it.
What’s had some success is carrying a spray bottle when we walk in that direction and giving her a little spray of water if she starts to attack – and I agree that you can tell it’s coming on by her eyes and the very focused meowing – almost like yelling directly at us. After a few times, the sight of the nozzle is enough to get her to back off. Good luck!
(Oh – she also does it when I’m pacing around on the phone. I think she just doesn’t like me walking past her…)
CKB
Our cat attacks me fairly regularly – and only me out of the 5 of us in the family (it’s a male cat & I’m the only female in the house – maybe he doesn’t like girls?) He generally attacks my calves with biting & claws. No medical reason. We think it’s play aggression. I have noticed that it’s worse when I’m PMS-ing.
Basically I hate the cat, and if other members of the family didn’t adore him he’d be gone. Or if he were attacking one of my kids he’d be gone, regardless of how much he’s loved by the other family members. Spraying him with water doesn’t work – he doesn’t care if he’s wet (weird cat). So when he attacks I just shut him in the basement for a while so he stays out of my way and I can calm down. The other day I noticed he was in attack mode as I was coming down the stairs so I picked him up & held him in such a way that the only thing he could do was bite my thumb. Thankfully he didn’t draw blood like he does when he attacks my legs with his claws and I made it down the stairs relatively unscathed.
NOLA
It does sound a little like overstimulation. My cat goes on the attack with weird things. She likes to attack feet in socks and when I used an exercise mat, she would roll around on it and rabbit kick my hand. And she’s normally a really happy sweet cat.
One of my co-workers asked me yesterday if I’d been attacked. I have scratches all down my left arm. My sweet kitty was on pain medication that made her completely crazy and she nearly tore my arm off when I attempted to get her out from under the bed to go to the vet. Scary stuff.
AIMS
Nola, how’s your kitty doing? I may have missed an update. Any good news?
NOLA
So sweet of you to ask! She’s the same. Under the bed most of the day, but eating and drinking fine. Coming out at night to howl in the hallway until I give her some attention. She doesn’t seem to be in a lot of pain except when she does things that hurt (like stretching). They’ve narrowed it to something spinal. They’ve moved her MRI to Friday. Will know more after that. The more I read, the more I think it’s a disc issue and not lymphoma.
Humdilly
As a new cat owner this kind of terrifies me. I don’t know what I would do if my cat acted like this! I’m scared I’d hurt her accidentaly, because my instinct if something latches onto my arm and bites it would be to throw that thing as hard as I could…
AIMS
Don’t worry too much. I’ve had my cat since I was in junior high and if she swipes at you it’s always only in defense. Cats are all different. There’s no reason to think yours will be unreasonable.
CapHillAnon
I just received the Blackfriar’s jacket in blue yesterday. I thought the style would be great, but it doesn’t flatter me. As usual with Boden things, it was well-made and the fabric was of good quality.
zora
Color Combo PSA:
Saw a woman wearing the most AMAZING color combo on the way to work this morning. Faded purple pants, and a cardigan in a bold orange-red. Just exactly like the orange-red Crayola crayon. If I could wear that shade of orange, I would completely steal this, but I hope someone else here is inspired!
Daydreamer
My company participates in the Corporate Challenge for our city. In an attempt to become more social and outgoing, I signed up to participate in the internal compeition to make the trivia team. Now I’m regretting this a little bit. A lot, actually.
I don’t really want to go, it’s a bad idea to drop out, right? Sigh, my introvert self and desire to be part of the team clash sometimes with poor results.
TBK
How likely is it that you’ll regret not going the next day? My husband often plans to go to things (networking events, for example) then wants to back out the day of — mostly because lounging on the couch with our dog and me sounds a lot more appealing at 6:00pm on a Tuesday than walking into a roomful of strangers. But when he does bail, he regrets it. And when he does go, he always has a much better time than he’d anticipated (because it’s the initial “roomful of strangers” that’s rough, not the actual conversations, which can be engaging and fun). So if you think you’ll hate it and be sorry the next day that you went, go ahead and bail. But if you think you’ll regret bailing, just channel your future self and do what you think she wants you to do. Future self will be happier.
TO Lawyer
+1 I often cancel evening events because I’d much rather have a glass of wine and watch tv rather than attempt to mingle when I’m tired/drained and usually get bored and end up regretting it. Besides, sometimes it’s good for your career/office life to do these sorts of things. I would go and let yourself leave early if that’s possible if it turns out you’re really hating it.
Trixie
Come up with an excuse that will allow you to leave a bit early, like you’re meeting up with a friend from out of town for drinks or something. And mentally set a time limit – “I’ll go and leave at 7:30”. If you’re feeling super drained and not having a good time, give your excuse and bail. If you’re like me, you will force yourself to go and then wind up having fun and staying the entire time. I lure myself to social events by promising myself I won’t stay long.
BMBG
Me too. I always sign up for things and never want to do them day-of because I just want to go home. I just make myself go and am always glad I did.
Here’s the key for me: I make myself go by promising myself I only have to stay for X time (usually 30 minutes, though it can change by event). What always happens is that I lose track of time and stay much later. But at least I give myself an “out.”
Pat
I agree with all the earlier comments. Just go and set a time frame like 30-60 minutes then you can leave and go back home. It won’t be too bad and if it is then its only 30 minutes of torture. I always feel like not going but end up going to “show my face” and always end up enjoying it. Its a good way to network so think of it as an extension of your job responsibilities.
lizm
Just looked down and noticed a large patch of leg hair that I missed shaving… my hair is fine and blonde so it’s not very noticeable, but that is also probably the reason I constantly miss spots.
Does anyone have any tips/something they use other than shaving? I’ve tried Nair and it resulted in a massive rash the day of my work holiday party all over my legs (lovely) and I’m not sure waxing would work on hair as fine as mine?
Anonymous
Waxing would definitely work if you want to do it.
Cordelia Chase
No tips, but the same thing happens to me all. the. time. Heh, no matter how hard to try to shave thoroughly, I invariably end up looking down at some point during the day to see a nice little patch of hair, though only visible if you stare at it up close.
I’ve pretty much just accepted this and let it go. I could use tips on this, too!
Cb
Yeah, me too! I figure there has to be some advantage to have light / soft hair.
I used one of those crazy as seen on tv hair buffer things for a while and it actually worked.
Veronique
I’ve also used those buffer things and it worked on my (non-fine) hair. I got tired of using it because I had to do it like every day and it would take a while.
Magpie
Try an epilator? I also have fine (though dark) leg hair and finally gave up my hippy dippy (thanks mom) nonshaving ways when I entered the office. Was already used to tweezing my eyebrows, and liked that epilating was low upkeep/minimum fuss (no ingrowns, no weird chemicals, no hot wax). The first time does hurt but I often see people saying that taking an ordinary pain med before will help a lot. Also, not epilating all the hair in one go–hair grows in different cycles once plucked (even on the same patch of skin) so if you gradually epilate over days/weeks, and eventually just do a “maintenance run” every week or two to get the new baby hairs, you’re good to go with very little pain (due both to plucking less hair each time and growing more pain resistant).
Cordelia Chase
Does anybody have a recommendation for a hair salon in Atlanta (Midtown, perhaps)? I am new to town and searching on-line can only yield me so much information. Thanks in advance, ladies.
Anon
Van Michael salon in Va Highlands
When you call, tell them what services you need (cut, color etc) and also your hair type/style (curly vs. straight, long layers vs bob vs pixie etc) – they are good at matching you up with a stylist (and colorist, I presume) accordingly.
Anonymous
What neighborhood?
Anon
I know you said midtown, but I recommend Tony at Lotus in Buckhead (corner of Piedmont and Roswell)–he’s the best.
Anonymous
Thanks very much!
cbackson
I go to Salon Red in Decatur and love it, although I’ve not had good luck with their other locations. I know someone who loves Helmet in Midtown (I’ve never been).
Rose in Bloom
Can’t help with Midtown, but Grow in Decatur is good. I’ve been going there about four years and have been very satisfied.
Midtown ATL Attorney
Sorry for the late response, but I recommend the Aveda School on Peachtree Street. It will be a student who cuts/colors your hair, but the students are supervised and I have always had great results (and at a great price). I used to go to the Van Michael salons in Buckhead and Sandy Springs (close to my former firm), and while they do wonderful work, it was pretty expensive. My experience with the Aveda School has been that the quality has been equal to what I used to get at Van Michael, and I like that I can get an appointment very quickly (within a day or two, usually, but then I don’t have any preference about who I see) and it’s so much better for my budget. If you prefer going to the same person over a long period of time, the Aveda School is probably not what you want because the students graduate and move on. If that’s what you’re looking for, then you can’t go wrong with Van Michael.
anon prof
Julie at juliedoeshair.com. She’s excellent! The salon is on Ponce in the Virginia Highlands area.
NatalieR
I went to the Paul Mitchell School in King Plow for years and years. If you go with the Phase 2 students, they are about to graduate and are a great value for what you pay. Plus, Paul Mitchell hair color and styling products are my favorite.
NatalieR
Oops – forgot to say, I don’t go there anymore because I moved away from Atlanta.
Golf Clubs?
Does anyone play golf occasionally or regularly? I played several years ago and would like to pick it up again. Any recommendations for a basic/beginner set of clubs? I’d like to start off with something on the less expensive (<$300) side until I've gotten back into the swing (ha) of things. Thanks!
Anonymous
try Craigslist
Anon
I play regularly. My advice would be to NOT buy anything yet, even used. Take a lesson or two, get fitted for clubs, try various makes/models and then begin your hunt for a starter set (either used or new).
Statutesq
I agree Craigslist is your best bet. I’m using a cheapo set from Target (nitro, maybe?) that works fine for my very average skills, but I have a nice driver. There are so many barely-used sets for sale at all times though, I’d go that route.
Merabella
You could probably get away with starting with just a few clubs, and then getting a set later. Depending on what you want to do you could probably get away with 1-2 irons and a putter and possibly a driver.
Anonymous
My bf just bought a set off amazon for 200 that he is really liking. I will post later when I get the name
Anonymous
I bought the Top Flite Women’s XL Complete Set from Dick’s about a month ago. It had tons of positive reviews and only cost $180. I ended up going with a new beginner’s set of clubs because I felt it would be too difficult to determine which used set of clubs would be the best for my needs. The set that I bought included a driver, 3-wood, 5-hybrid, five irons (6,7,8,9,wedge), and putter. Since purchasing the clubs I have been going to group golfing lessons and playing 9 holes each week. If you decide to purchase a different set I’d recommend looking for one that includes a sand wedge and pitching wedge and/or 7-wood as these are the only clubs that are missing when I compare my set to the next level up.
Pills
We had a family vacation with inlaws recently. I don’t know them super-well, but I gather that many of them are on various medications. We woke up one morning and someone had left one of those day-of-the week non-childproof pill boxes on a couch by the TV. We have a baby and a toddler and I am still feeling like I dodged a bullet. I don’t know who has what in what containers in their rooms, but this was cutting it too close for me. Will it be overreacting before the next trip to (have my husband) ask that any meds be kept in childproof containers and up high somewhere? I understand that people want privacy regarding their meds (at least for some conditions), but this is scary to me.
Wildkitten
If they are childless It probably just didn’t occur to them. I think childproof AND up high is overkill, but a reminder to do one or the other is totally reasonable and appropriate.
Famouscait
+1 to this. My husband takes a bunch of meds, and also keeps them in a days of the week type container. It wouldn’t be feasible or practical for him to revert back to the original child-safe pill containers for a weekend visit or such, but it would certainly be easy enough to store the weekly container somewhere child proof. And if someone asked me this in our own home, I’d have no problem complying – I’d honestly never thought of it before.
Valley of the Dolls
With a teenager (who has friends and they have friends and who knows who these people are, let along what is in their houses), nothing bothers me like lightly-guarded psychopharmaceuticals. Beer, liquor: not a problem and they’ll have to encounter that as adults anyway. Zanax or painkillers –> yikes
I hope he and his friends have the sense to stay away from illegals, but prescription drugs are, you know, legal, so how bad could they be???
Brant
Yes x 1000. I was out of high school before the pharmaceutical crazy really took off…,but my sibling, who is ten years younger, caused all kinds of trouble. These idiots (my sibling and his friends) would sneak all kinds of pills from parents/grandparents/houses they were babysitting in and do god knows what with them. I think my brother sold them; other kids snorted them etc. Ugh.
Kids these days.
Brant
In-laws meaning MIL and FIL? Or the extended in-law family? If the latter, just assume it slipped everyone’s mind since not everybody has kids running around. Before/during the next trip just make sure to give everyone a reminder about what “kid proofing” really means.
If they’re dense, make a joke of it and put up stickies in the bathrooms etc saying things like “ANYTHING YOU DON’T WANT MY KID TO STICK IN HIS/HER MOUTH MUST BE AT LEAST THIS HIGH!!”
OP
Gotcha. The funny thing is that the gathering (husband’s family, not more-distant relatives; and the trip involved some people traveling on planes where I thought you’d want things in labeled containers in case there were any Qs re whether the meds were yours or not or were legal or not). I am guessing the meds included things like Xanax (not antibiotics or more vanilla meds), so I am surprised that with teens and in-between children also in the group they are comfortable leaving these items out.
[I am probably a bit over-used to what it takes to get any meds to my children’s day care, which requires original childproof containers and an act of congress, both of which I appreciate to make sure that my children get their meds / other children don’t get my children’s meds / my children don’t get meds not for them.]
nice cube
i have started working in a new office (gov) and everyone thinks i am either an intern or a student or admin, when in fact, i hold a senior level position. i am young-ish, 30, but not an infant and other senior managers are about 7 to 10 years older than me. i wear a suit, heels, work appropriate hair and makeup, and follow all the ‘r e t t e rules. i have read all of the posts here about looking older, having authority, etc. im not sure how to come across older. i am tired of people assuming that i am an intern and i have to explain to them that i am either their peer or their new boss. ugghhh! end rant
Wildkitten
Have you read NGDGTCO? It gave me some body language suggestions.
gov anon
This probably going to sound crazy, but what do the other señor managers wear? In my crazy casual office, if I saw a new, youngish looking person who I hadn’t been introduced to yet, I might assume they were an intern or summer trying to make a good impression. Maybe you need dress down a notch to fit in with the office culture.
nice cube
thanks for commenting, ladies. i appreciate the insight. I have read NGDGTCO, but may need to brush up again. the other women also wear suits or military uniforms. the men wear suits and ties. so, i am trying to fit in. i look young and i am only 5’1, but i swear people are so rude when i tell them my position.
Anonymous
This may seem trivial, but if you type at work as you do in your comments, it may help to use proper capitalization, not i and lower case letters at the beginning of sentences.
nice cube
umm, thanks, but i dont do that at work. this is a blog.
Anon
This. Your attitude clearly is not as mature or professional as your appearance.
Anonymous
Yes, I thought the same. I realize you probably don’t *type* this way at work, but that you type a request for advice from other professional women in such a lazy format makes me think you generally give off a casual vibe.
And for the record, I’m 28 and have been typing on computers since I was 5 (Dad was in IT) so this isn’t a generational issue.
zora
Anonymous & Anon: You do not know anything about her or how she conducts herself in the office. This is not constructive advice, go elsewhere to be a brat.
Anonymous
Agree. Its not just the punctuation but your overall tone. You sound really young. Dont worry about people being rude, just introduce yourself matter of factly. People who act really young always seem to think its about how they look but it almost never is- its how you are carrying yourself.
Cc
I agree with the anons that it is about how you carry yourself not how you look. Just introduce yourself matter of factly. Soon everyone will know your position and you won’t have to keep dealing with those assumptions
anon
Disagree – this is definitely generational. Those who grew up on computers and used things like AIM regularly in middle school are going to be much more used to casual typing without capitalization, etc. I remember to my 13 yr old self it would look way too formal to capitalize and use punctuation, and it kind of gets ingrained for more casual settings.
Betty
Sounds like you are dealing with military or those who are used to dealing with the military, in which case, everyone is used to seeing other people’s rank on their shoulders. Having grown up in that environment and with a sister who is a civilian in that environment (and could no doubt relate), I would advise: When people make the assumption, tell them your role/responsibility matter of factly. No excuses, no apologies. And then move on. It is annoying now, but you will set the expectations for yourself moving forward by being professonal, straightforward and then dealing with the issues at hand.
zora
I second this, OP. I would just *hope* it is a temporary thing as they get to know you and try not to let it get to you yet. Just calmly keep introducing yourself, and hopefully after a few months everyone will know you, AND you will have proven yourself by doing good work, and most people will drop this attitude. You were hired so you are clearly qualified, be confident in that.
I totally sympathize, though, I look young for my age and have dealt with similar issues for years, and it is so frustrating sometimes. ;oP But do your best to take a breath, shrug it off, and go prove your kick-a$$ingness by doing awesome work. ;o)
Anonymous
Honestly in a professional environment people don’t look young- they act young. I feel like 99 percent of the time people say everyone thinks I’m the intern cuz I look so youuuung are really the people that act so young. My boss is 35 but looks 25 – no one has ever thought she was lower ranked than me or the intern. Think about how you are projecting yourself.
Betty
Just one more thought on this: If this is your first time in a military environment, know that the military is a different beast with different expectations and cultural norms. Yes, it is still a professional environment, but not the traditional corporate environment. The reaction may not be to your age, but also a reaction to you not being military.
Senior Attorney
If you are still brand new and still haven’t met anybody, this is likely to be a self-limiting issue that will disappear once you get to know eerybody. Can you head it off by going around and introducing yourself to everybody? “Hi, just got here and wanted to introduce myself. I’m Nice Cube and I’m the new Super Senior Person in Charge of Super Important Things.” Or failing that, when you are introduced to people, you can say your title: “Nice to meet you. I’m Nice Cube, Super Senior Person in Charge of Super Important Things.”
Coach Laura
Nice Cube- I think Senior Attorney has it right. Introduce yourself forthrightly to anyone who you haven’t yet individually talked to. (I’m not talking about just meeting them in passing – but say this to anyone who you haven’t had a personal conversation with.)
Did your boss not send out a memo or email or announce your hiring/promotion? That might help too, unless people are really dense.
hellskitchen
I mean this in a nice/constrictive way – when someone thinks you are an intern and you feel peevish about it, does it show on your face? I work in a sector where young 20 somethings often hold very senior roles. The ones who can’t pull off looking senior and authoritative enough are often those who are very worried about how they are being perceived… and their insecurity clearly shows on their face and makes them come across as more immature or younger. Perhaps creating a mantra for yourself – I am not going to be bothered if people mistake me for an intern – and repeating it to yourself all day could help you project more authority. Some other easy makeover tips – you could also develop a signature style for your suits (e.g. brooches or scarves), always introduce yourself by your last name (Ms. Cube); walk with your chin raised and eyes looking upward; when you see or meet someone new, take the initiative to introduce yourself with your title instead of waiting for them to assume and address you as an intern.
hellskitchen
*constructive*
Roku and HBO - paging Poor but Happy!
Just catching up on this morning – one word of warning, whether you are able to stream HBO Go on your Roku depends on your cable provider. Here in the northeast, Comcast doesn’t allow it. I tried streaming my boyfriend’s account on my Roku…no dice. If you have your heart set on accessing HBO, make sure your common local providers are listed so you can access a friend’s account! Otherwise you might need to settle for being a season behind if you decide to cut the cable. http://support.roku.com/entries/23281953-Does-my-television-provider-offer-HBO-GO-on-Roku-devices-
Anon for this
Or find a friend in a location that does allow it. We are also in the Northeast w/ Comcast for our internet provider but stream a southern friend’s HBO Go account with no problem. He has a different cable provider.
marketingchic
Look into Chromecast too – it sounds really promising, and is only $35. I’ve got one on order.
emily
Chromecast is not that great – not yet, anyway. It works okay for Netflix but it doesn’t auto-play episodes, which the Netflix app does on other devices (Roku, Playstation), and for other things, is a lot less straightforward/streamlined than the Roku. Right now, I’d pay the extra $30 or so for a Roku, especially if you are a heavy user of streaming services (I am).
BB
You could also get an XBox, which does work with HBO Go in the northeast. I think they’re down to around $149 now, which I know is more than the Roku, but it’s also my DVD player and has pretty much all the same apps as Roku (Netflix, can run Pandora on the IE app). I also play video games on it, but generally just use it as a set top box now.
Pregomama
Warning: breastfeeding question.
For working moms…I just spoke to my insurance company and I have two options for breast pumps covered at 100%. The Medela Advanced Personal Double Electric or the Ameda Purely Yours. Both are electric, neither seem to have a battery option. Does anyone have anything pro/con to say about either? Do I go with the Medela, the Ameda, or is there another far superior option out there that I should buy out of pocket?
From a working mom perspective, I’d like to know how important having a battery vs being tied to an outlet is, as well as the overall experience of using these say, while on a conference call.
Anonymous
I pumped for a year with a pump that didn’t have a battery option. I bought a car adaptor because I always had access to either an outlet or my car (I live somewhere without good public transportation). So I don’t think it’s necessary to go out of pocket for a battery option.
Brant
Good to know the car adapter may be an option. I was thinking more like long plane rides, but there tend to be power outlets on most of the planes I take these days if really needed…and otherwise I think some strategic pumping planning could reduce that need.
Betty
I also pumped for a long time without a battery option. One suggestion I have would be to buy (separately from what is covered by insurance) a hand pump just to have around and learn how to manually express your milk. I ended up leaving my electric pump at the office and could use a hand pump/manually express if I ever got into a pinch at home or elsewhere.
Separately, has anyone ever pumped while driving?
Samantha
I have only once pumped while driving (see my comment below about a daylong interview). I was returning by car and driving on a local road, got very delayed by traffic and needed to pump, but was in a rush to get back to my baby, so I decided to try out pumping while driving. I layered up well so nothing was visible and didn’t do it for too long. I think I continued to drive safe, but in a more risky driving situation (highway, etc.) I’m not sure I would do it. I have heard of people pumping+driving all the time.
To answer pregomama’s other original question, pumping on conference calls doesn’t work great because all these darn pumps make a lot of rhythmic noise. So unless you are ok staying on mute throughout, or turning off the pump momentarily every time you want to speak, it’s not a great option.
Anonymous
Yep, all the time. Just get set up in a parking lot.. I use a light blanket or cardigan over the parts an have never received a second glance. I can generally put things back to rights while driving and wait until a stoplight to put everything in the cooler. I will confess that I had a tricky suiting dress on last week and got out of class well after 10, so I just pumped in my underwear on the way home.
Samantha
Are you sure? I had the Ameda Purely Yours, which I highly recommend (it’s lighter than the Medela, it’s bpa-free all through, it’s a closed loop so milk never gets in the tubes so less intensive cleaning overall), and it had a battery option. I only used the battery a couple times, both times in the car. Once when I was at a daylong corporate retreat on a farm and another time when I was on a daylong interview. In both places I couldn’t get (or was too embarassed to ask for) a separate room for pumping.
Not having a battery option is not a huge deal in my book unless you have an insanely long commute or something and might get caught needing to pump unexpectedly due to delays, driving etc.
Pam
Ditto. Had the Ameda Purely Yours, it was an excellent pump, and it had a battery option (which I used only once, on a long car trip). I really liked the closed loop feature Samantha mentioned.
hellskitchen
I got the Ameda Purely Yours from my insurance and it comes with a battery option. I don’t like it as much as the hospital grade Medela Symphony I had rented for a couple of months but I guess that’s to be expected. The standard flanges that come with the Ameda one are too small for me… it was easy to purchase larger flanges for the Medela but I am not sure where to purchase non standard sizes for Ameda. One thing that you might want to think about is having two pumps, one for work and one for home so you are not shuttling stuff to and fro all the time. If so you could get insurance to send you the more expensive pump and then buy the cheaper one out of pocket.
Pregomama
I double checked (and got new paperwork) and the Ameda DOES have a battery option–which is different from what’s on the website I was directed to…. Now I’m debating if I’m going to have trouble getting non-standard flanges.
hellskitchen
The annoying thing with Ameda flanges is that if you want the Medium size, you have to buy the Large and they come with soft inserts to convert it to an M. The consensus on Amazon is that this reduces the efficiency and output. I am trying to figure out what to do with my Ameda pump so learning from my experience, I’d recommend getting the Medela.
TAH
Just an FYI. I’m 5 1/2 months pregnant, and looking into these questions myself. Babies ‘r Us sells the non-standard Ameda flanges on their website. I haven’t checked in my local store yet.
marketingchic
FWIW, my 8-year-old Medela was way too loud for a conference call (and I needed to pretty much totally relax to pump – couldn’t even check work email.)
I only used my battery once in an airport bathroom. I have heard of women using a car adapter on their commute – something else to consider if you have a long car commute.
ANP
The KellyMom Facebook group would be another good place to ask this question. I’m on my second pregnancy and used a Medela pump in style both times. I like it as much as one can like a bre@stpump. I think you want a battery pack — one time we had a power outage at work and those batteries were a lifesaver!
I say this with complete respect to everyone’s differing financial situations: get the best pump you can and invest in whatever you need to make pumping as painless as possible. Extra parts, hands free contraptions, whatever. Pumping takes a lot of time and b-feeding isn’t always intuitive, so do what you need to in order to make it easier.
I’ve also pumped while driving — probably around 10 times. All you need is a hands-free bustier (which I have and use so I can keep doing work while I pump in my office) and a cover. I love it bc it allows me to pump during what would otherwise be dead time. The life of a multitasking mama!
ANP
Oh and I’ve pumped on calls before. Tested with the hubs to make sure but just kept the pump as far as possible from the phone.
anon
I’m late, but I chose the Ameda for sanitary reasons and it does have a battery option. I didn’t contact I insurance, I just ordered from a medical supply company and they contacted insurance and doctor.
In house lobbyist
You need batteries if you plan to pump while traveling. I have pumped in many airport bathrooms with the battery pack. I just upgraded to the Medela freestyle from the pump in style because of the battery and weight issue. I have also pumped while driving while using the hands free bras and a cover up.
Bonnie
I like the idea of this suit but wish the jacket was not zippered.
MD
Boden clothes are well-made, but I think they have a tendency toward frump. I’m getting a frumpy vibe from this suit. It might be great in person, though.
AIMS
You guys, I want these shoes. I just bought two pairs of shoes and really cannot justify unless I return one (which I may do), but if anyone is in the market for a really cute pair of lower height heels, I think these are so gorgeous.
http://tinyurl.com/qeyz3se
Anon in NYC
Ooooooooh. Pretty. Work appropriate or a KYO shoe?
KC
Gorgeous! I really like the tiny hint of metallic on the toe.
Monica
I’m drooling.
I am a banana.
I posted a few weeks ago after having a terrible performance review. A few weeks out, I need a little perspective. I’ve been billing significantly more over the last few weeks, but it doesn’t seem to be doing any good – I feel like all of the partners have decided that I am constantly late, a poor writer, and sloppy. They have some cause for that. I’ve evaluated myself pretty harshly since that review and believe there are two underlying related issues here: 1) I’m a poor multitasker, an essential skill for the kind of defense work I do, and 2) I seriously dislike my practice area, which I think is boring and meaningless.
I have been applying to other positions that I see as things I could do as a career and find meaningful, and have had serious conversations with my SO about how realistic it would be to move from private practice to a non-lawyer job that pays about 65% of my current salary now but has significant room for growth later. I have loans and it would be tight but I could do it. He wants me to make the move.
I’m sitting at my desk trying not to cry because I’ve been here since 7:30 working and just got a snarky e-mail from a partner about my inability to change a subject line in an e-mail. I know I’m being too sensitive but I effing hate working here. Do I keep applying to other less paying jobs or do I suck it up?
anonforthis
I had a bad performance review at a churn-and-burn firm once after 2 years of glowing reviews and 2 years of more glowing reviews at another biglaw firm before that. After the bad review, they made it pretty clear that my efforts to address their concerns were not going to be successful because they just wanted me out and I couldn’t turn around their perception of me (I had a new baby and I think they didn’t perceive me as committed to the biglaw lifestyle). They gave me the bad review to give me some time to find something else. Then I found another lawyer job (that paid better even). I’ve been at my “new” firm for almost 10 years and they think I kick a**. And I do. What I’m trying to say is one bad review does not mean you aren’t cut out to be a lawyer or that you aren’t/can’t be really good at it in the right work environment. Can you find a different lawyer job that better suits you?
I am a banana.
It might just be litigation. I’ve been practicing for three years, in two radically different practice areas, and my underlying feelings about litigation are the same – I feel like all I do as a litigator is clean up other people’s poor decisions, and I think all of the posturing and blowfishing is disgusting.
After three years, I’m hoping I haven’t shut myself out of other avenues like corporate or licensing. I feel like those are areas where at the end of the day I’d feel like I get to help my clients move their business forward. It’s naive sounding but that is the most important thing to me.
Anonymous
You might want to consider plaintiff’s litigation work. I feel like I’m really helping my deserving clients who need my services immensely. I felt the same way you do about my big law insurance defense clients. Now I’m on the other side of the case and I feel like I do meaningful work that achieves some good in the world.
Houston Attny
I agree with this. There comes a point when they will not change their perception of you. It’s ridiculous – you could come in at 7:30 for a month, bill 12 hours a day, and you’ll still get an e-mail about a subject line. Not positive you are at that point, but if you are, it’s actually a little liberating if you can realize it and do something to get out on your own terms. I would certainly look for jobs you think you might enjoy even if they pay less than your current job. If you’re getting “snarky” e-mails about subject lines after poor reviews and your harsh self-reviews, please look and find something. And, like anonforthis, after this happened to me, I also landed in a law job, and they think I hang the moon. It will happen for you too.
Ellen
Hug’s to you. You are worth alot more then the firm think’s but if they do not respect you, you do whatever you need to feel better, and that would NOT include kow-toweing to the partner’s.
I had a lot of troubel landing my first law job b/c most peeople did NOT want me as a lawyer, but instead as some sort of office mascot or playtoy. I was just the cute girl who went to law school, but they did NOT want to make me a full asociate, or work in a good goverment job. They instead had alot of looser’s doing strange thing’s like stareing out the window at women, calling out numbers based on how cute they were and stareing at me alot of the time, even when I wore tops that were NOT revealing at all!
So for the losers who do not respect you for littel things, I say FOOEY on them. You can find another firm that will apreciate you for your own attributes, even if it is a smaller firm. You have a significant other, so get his advise on this also b/c he probably has good thing’s to say about you, and if you get married, you can put all of this stuff in the rear view mirror. That is what I am goeing to do as soon as I find a guy to support me and our children. YAY!
Brooklyn Paralegal
It sounds like you are incredibly unhappy. It’s possible–maybe even likely–that the partners can tell that you’re unhappy and that you have no interest in your job. In every job I’ve had, I’ve had days when I’m really miserable and everyone can tell, despite the fact that I’m doing my best to hide it.
Have you received an offer for the non-lawyer position? If not, I would hold off on making any decisions until you have a surefire job offer. If you have and your SO is encouraging you to make the move and it’s something you want to do, I think you should go for it. I know that paying off loans is awful (and I’m just paying off undergrad currently), but if you can get by at a different position, I think that your mental health is far more important.
Also, go home tonight, pour yourself a glass of wine, curl up on the couch, maybe get your SO to rub your feet. Take a night to yourself. If you can, I would also take the weekend to relax and set some time aside for yourself to engage in some self-care and some reflection.
I am a banana.
No offer. Just getting myself to apply and follow up with a person I know on the inside there was terrifying. Thanks for the advice about tonight and the weekend, I will take it.
Brooklyn Paralegal
Good luck with everything! I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this. I know that I personally find stress like this at work totally unbearable. I haven’t been in the exact situation you’re in, but a similar one, and I definitely empathize.
I also agree with other folks’ advice: if you feel you’re at the point where they’re going to give you sh*t no matter what, get out, and get out on your terms. You’ll find something else, but it’s not worth the mental and emotional stress.
Good luck!
Anon in NYC
Hugs. Apply to jobs that you are interested in, even if they pay less money. How long have you been in your current position? I found that there was a steep learning curve when I first started at my firm. It look me about 9 months or so to not feel like a complete failure most days. Also, for the first two years at my firm I worked with complete jerks, which didn’t help. Can you do work with other partners? I was able to escape my terrible partners/senior associates with meaningful pro bono work that gave me some great experiences.
I am a banana.
I’ve been at this firm for two years, after a move from a different city and firm where I spent my first year. My office is concentrated on one practice area, so there is no room for work with other partners, but the pro bono idea is a good one. I’ll look into the bar association’s programs.
Thanks all. Sometimes I feel like this is the only safe place to whine.
#sorryforwhining
mascot
Another “hang in there” sentiment. I also moved firms and found a great fit where people genuinely seemed pleased with my skills. Don’t let this ruin your confidence
Anon
I posted awhile ago about being laid off. It felt like no matter how good my work was, I just wasn’t part of the ‘club’ sometimes. I guess my situation was different- I had several female partners tell me how great my work was and how they loved working with me, but yet, I still felt like a failure. Don’t let them bring you down. I understand the vicious cycle of feeling like a failure, then that makes you mess up a bit, then you mess up more, etc.
These guys are not the be and end all for lawyers. Their impression doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things. If you need to vent or talk, I can post an email.
To FlyingSquirrel
Hi there, You had asked about mom groups and buying baby stuff etc. a few weeks ago and posted your email in a response. I missedyour response then. Anyway, I’ve now sent you an email at your account that begins with flying squirrel. Just posting here in case you don’t check that address very often.
hellskitchen - those comfy Payless Predictions pumps...
That everyone raves about… is it the Karmen or the Janis? Need to make an emergency shoe purchase.
Lynnet
I believe it’s the Karmen.
hellskitchen
Thanks!
KC
Just got an email about an Ann Taylor flash sale. $50 off a full price purchase of $100+. Might be a good deal if you’re considering their suiting (I think it’s usually excluded from sales). Code is ANNFLASH.
Rudy Huxtable
It might be too late in the thread for this, but here goes:
My team at work is restructuring, and it looks like the other person at my level and I will now be the “gatekeepers” for someone who is ranked above me on my team. Basically, we will be fielding all the questions and answering/triaging them so that he can get work done (determining what we can answer, what should be saved for one-on-one meetings, and what needs supervisor involvement asap). It’s a client service-based firm in a niche area, not a law firm but I work for a lawyer (and reading thissite has helped me understand why some of our processes are in place!). Basically, are there any tips for how to get my own work done (we are actually both gaining a client this week) while having the possibility for constant interruption? The process memo hasn’t been drafted but we’re asking for email/phone to be preferred as it’s easier to ask for a few minutes when the person with the question isn’t at our cube. Also, we’re going to have time allotted for this every week but it’s hard to guess how much we need when it’s a new process, and will have to track it. I know there have been discussions about how to do this in the past, so I’ll definitely search, but any tips if anyone has tracked time before in a non-billables setting I’d appreciate it. I don’t know if “I didn’t do three hours of my regular work so I spent 5 hours answering questions this week” will be sufficient.
Wildkitten
Emergent Task Planner