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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 194 Comments · by

Thursday’s TPS Report: Sleeveless Ponté Sheath Dress with Pockets

The Personal Shopper (TPS)· Under $150

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Women's Regular Sleeveless Ponté Sheath Dress with PocketsReader S wrote in to note: “You have featured this dress before, but I wanted to let you know it is now available in gorgeous new fall colors. I now own it in four. It is inexpensive and WONDERFUL.” Given that I love all three colors it's offered in now (moroccan blue, black, and a lovely smokey plum), and is available in regular, petite, tall, and plus sizes from 2-18, that's worth noting. This also gives me a great opportunity to mention Lands' End “On the Counter” page, which I just discovered a week or two ago (I think via Wisebread) — they mark down overstock products every Monday morning, and the prices decrease as the week goes on. Pieces sell out, of course, but on a Thursday the sale prices are now 50% off, so you can get, say, a $90 angora sweater for $14.50 today (and even less tomorrow). There are, of course, lots of lucky sizes, but it's a fun thing to check regularly if you're on a tight budget. The pictured dress is $69. Lands End Sleeveless Ponté Sheath Dress with Pockets Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-3) Psst: Check out more great deals at the Corporette Bargains page!

Sales of note for 9.30.24

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Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Merabella

    I’m going to a bridal shower this weekend and I am totally blanking on what to write in the card. Any suggestions for good marital advice to share with the bride?

    • In the Pink

      Say “we” more than “I”, say “ours” more than “mine,” and always remember, two is better than one.

    • mascot

      There will be days when you each feel like you are giving more than your 50% share. Let that go because keeping score doesn’t help.

    • TBK

      This is what my aunt told me at my shower: “Today, write down everything you love about your fiance. Why he’s a great guy and why you want to spend your life with him. Write down all of it. Put it someplace safe. When you think you made a terrible mistake in marrying him and can’t think of one single good thing about him because you’re so angry, pull out the paper and read it. Because, believe me, the day will come when you’ll need it.”

    • CKB

      Always consider your spouse’s feelings when making decisions – big or small.

      Always talk about everything – nothing is too small or too big.

      Let the little things go as much as you can.

    • KC

      Growing up on Teen Vogue, I’m a huge Eva Chen fan. I’m excited to see what she does at Lucky!

    • NOLA

      That’s really good to know. I had gone off Lucky but might look at it again.

    • espresso bean

      I hated what Brandon Holley did to that magazine, but I got my September issue — the first one that Eva edited — (the one with Blake Lively on the cover) last week, and it seems to be headed in the right direction. It feels much more high fashion. The covers under Brandon looked so cheap and tacky!

      I still miss Kim France, though.

      • Carrie Preston

        I heart Kim France too. Do you read her blog Girls of a Certain Age? It gives me a little fix.

        • Kelly

          tesyaa, have you ever posted anything but know-it-all snark or generalized negativity?

          • KLG

            Argh, that was a painful reminder since that is has been almost 20 years since I was in high school learning how to use Lycos and Webcrawler for search engines and use basic HTML to create a webpage for class. It can’t really have been that long, can it? I feel so young!

          • CKB

            I first had access to the internet 18 years ago when I was attending university. Good old Netscape & Eudora and our 100 times automatic dialer.

          • Anonymous

            I had internet access from about 1991 on. And my dad had email starting in the early 1980s. The internet as you likely interact with it (that is, the web) was barely in existence then, but there were online bulletin boards and email (even outside of closed universes like Compuserve and AOL).

          • NOLA

            Ha! I had email in my second grad degree (89-90) but nobody I knew had it so why bother. Listservs changed our lives in 1993 or so. The first technology course I ever developed was for Netscape – searching the internet in a graphical environment! I want to say that might have been around 1995 or 1996?

          • Senior Attorney

            I met the future former Mr. Senior Attorney on match.com in 1996. And I’d had the internet for at least a year or two before that.

          • Carrie Preston

            I was actually just joking & really thinking of internet shopping as we know it today. I don’t think a lot of retailers had online shops 15 years ago, that’s all.

      • momentsofabsurdity

        The Classifieds was actually the Canvas version of regular Lands End On The Counter. I’m also confused about what happened to Canvas.

    • LizNYC

      And now I have two things in my cart, with more sure to come. One dress is marked down to $9.50 and it’s perfect for fall! Ugh, goodbye shopping ban…

  4. L

    Wedding planning stress = no sleep. Who knew flowers were so insanely expensive?!?! I stayed up most of the night watching DIY videos. Other than just inhaling as much water as I can and fresh air, any other tips? I’ve been avoiding caffeine so I’m afraid that I’d have some and crash.

    • S

      Ugh flowers – mine ended up pretty blah, but they were cheap and it was more than fine. My advice would be to schedule time to deal with it and only deal with it during scheduled time.

    • NOLA

      No suggestions for how to deal with no sleep. But as for the wedding planning stress causing lost sleep, try not to stay up working on it. Give yourself a deadline to put it down and get settled for bed. When I have situations that are causing me “monkey mind” and I can’t sleep. I just say (in my head) “let it go let it go let it go” until whatever it is falls away.

      • Cb

        Yes, this! I have a anti-monkey mind checklist when I wake up in a panic:
        1. Can I do something about it this minute?
        2. Is anyone going to die / get fired / hate me forever as a conseqence of this not getting done?
        2. Is it written down? If not, go and write it down.

    • Brant

      I had a panic attack over flowers. I saw a quote over $5k. I ended up ordering flowers in bulk online for something like $500 and my bridesmaids carried simple bouquets of roses. I put candles/petals on the tables instead of flowers. My bouquet was ordered from the florist and was about $150.

      We took the difference and went on a killer honeymoon. No regrets whatsoever.

    • KC

      Agree with others – pick a dedicated time to deal with flowers (set a timer if you have to) and when it’s over you have to go to bed.

      And for what it’s worth, I can’t tell you much about the flowers at weddings I attended – with the exception of my bouquet as a bridesmaid, but only because I was holding it for so long. Odds are, your guests will take one look at the flowers, think “Oh, those are pretty” and then focus on something else, like how beautiful you look and how happy they are for you :)

    • roses

      I’ve given this advice before, but you can’t think of wedding costs as the cost of buying something through a vendor (flowers, invites, etc.) vs. DIYing alone. You need to take into account the value of the time you will lose planning/worrying/actually DIYing. If you work in an hourly, project-based, or bonus-based job, the value is literal: for every hour you spend DIYing instead of working, you will lose those earnings. But even in a salaried job, think about the value of the things you will give up to DIY everything – your stress relief? will you eat out instead of cooking (thus costing more)? stress that could lead to sickness which will cost more?

      It’s not necessarily the case that DIYing will have a higher opportunity cost – if you or your spouse is unemployed or has a low-stress 9-5 job, it’s a pretty easy decision. But more often than people think, it’s just not worth it.

      • Hel-lo

        +1. We had a florist mishap, and ended up getting them from the floral department at our local Safeway. They were fantastic. I was very impressed. Way better than the professional, IMO, and cheaper.

    • Also in Academia

      I sent my then-fiance to the store (grocery store in our case, but market of your choice that has good flowers) to buy all the loose flowers he could. I had bought vases from Ikea the week before. Then, all my women friends and relatives sat around and arranged the bulk flowers into the vases and put them out on the tables along with tea candles. Total cost — $300 maybe? If I had a little bit more to spend I would have gotten nicer vases, although still Ikea or Target. I bought my bouquet and my MOH’s from a florist, as well as the men’s flowers . . . they were inexpensive due to our rural wedding location, but I still wouldn’t spend a fortune on such things. What people will remember is the chance to gather with friends and family to celebrate your marriage, and that’s what’s important. My soapbox: spend more time and energy figuring out what your marriage will be like than on figuring out what your wedding will be like.

      • Ciao, pues

        I did something similar. It made for fantastic, happy photos of people I love helping with the wedding. Don’t underestimate how much people love to feel like a part of these things. And helping with a project like flowers or programs or whatever else you plan to DIY is a great opportunity for your guests/ family / wedding party to feel involved.

    • Anonymous

      L – I feel your pain. My wedding is just over three weeks away. Do you have friends, maybe your bridesmaids, that you can lean on? I spent months obsessing over one of our wedding details. Finally, during my bachelorette weekend I just threw the issue out to all of my friends. Immediately I got a bunch of ideas for how to solve my dilemma in a cost-effective and not too time consuming way. (This technique is more effective if paired with a bottle of wine for said friends to share while brainstorming for you!) Also, if you’re not a DIY-type person, your wedding is probably not the best time to start. Try to find ideas that are part-DIY (like that Food Network show Semi-Homemade).

    • Rani

      I did my own flowers after a freak out about costs. I ordered white and purple hydrangeas from Fifty Flowers (Blooms by the Box is another good one) and bought the least expensive vases I could find at AC Moore for centerpieces. Bouquets were mini cala lilies, which were easy peasey. I would guess that including the trial flowers and the extra flowers, it was about half of the quote I got from the florist, but probably not as ‘nice’ — they did just fine and we’re not any less married, nor did anyone at the wedding have a less fun time because of it.

      That being said, it took me almost the full day before the wedding to do them, since I’m an idiot and refused to ask people for help and my fiance had other things that had to be done. It was both calming and maddening — I did watch bad bridal reality shows for the first time during the whole planning process, which made me feel comparatively sane.

      So, if you do your own flowers I would recommend the following:

      1) stick to one or two flower types per centerpiece
      2) think about transportation to the venue BEFORE you decide to this (I had an amazing planner who picked them up for me from my place)
      3) do a trial run
      4) if people ask if they can help, tell them you need help
      5) either get your manicure after doing the flower, or get a gel manicure

      Also, if anyone wants 17 bowl vases and/or table name holders and lives in the DC area, leave a note with an email address here and you’re welcome to them! Otherwise, they are off to Goodwill as soon as I get around to loading up the car!

      • L

        Omg, seriously I’m in DC. If you don’t mind, I would love love love them. my email is attached to my name. You would be a LIFESAVER!

    • L

      Thanks for all the advice, ladies. I’m mostly just stressed because I love flowers and it’s the one thing that I actually want. I keep telling myself that I made a budget for a reason and my budget is perfectly reasonable and I’ll figure this out. I think we’ll do the some florist some DIY route, I just was having sticker shock!!

      • Moonstone

        I love flowers, too, and highly recommend Fifty Flowers. They were gorgeous — we got calla lilies — but DIY always takes more time than you expect. You have to have people ready to help the day before the wedding. This proved to be an excellent time to have sisters!

      • New Bride

        We did professional arrangements for the bouquets, corsages, and boutineers. The centerpieces were cut flowers in mason jars, arranged by loved ones. All beautiful.

        (Oh, and we had some silk flowers/garlands for decor. Shhh.)

      • zora

        My friend did the buy tons of flowers bulk thing, and then she and all the women (The mothers, the bridesmaids/sisters/cousins/friends) spent the morning arranging them all into mason jars. (While the men were decorating the outdoor wedding area, setting up chairs/tables, etc) It was beautiful, and SO MUCH more fun and memorable than having some paid person do it! You will find a way, and it will be beautiful. Have Fun!!

    • TBK

      See if you can do something other than flowers for the centerpieces. We had lanterns with candles in them (Ikea for $7 each). Consider having your bridesmaids carry single flowers (e.g., a calla lily) instead of having bouquets made for them. Also, think if you really need, for example, flowers for the ceremony site (if you’re being married someplace separate from the reception site). We tied huge bows on the ends of the pews instead of putting flowers there. We got the ribbon in bulk and made the bows ourselves.

      Also, find out what individual flowers cost and be educated about what goes into costs. My aunt was a florist. The way she figured price was each flower cost a certain amount when it was in an arragement (e.g., bouquet, centerpiece, etc.), which factored in labor and wholesale cost of the flower, plus profit. Roses are expensive. Carnations are cheap. Filler is generally “free.” Consider using less expensive flowers. And consider that a lot of the labor cost in weddings is in all the fussy little details you have to do for wedding flowers. All the flowers used in boutonnieres and corsages have to be wired and taped (i.e., a wire stuck through the bottom of the flower, then florist tape wrapped around the wire and stem). Many of the flowers for bouquets have to have similar treatment. See if there are less traditional styles that might require less work for the florist and therefore might cost less. (However, please do not think that the popular “hand-tied” bouquets are less work even though they appear to be more casual. They’re incredibly tempermental and fussy. So ask the florist for input on what styles might be cheaper.)

    • Also Planning

      I find the most stressful part to be how everyone asks all these questions about planning. The wedding is not for a year, so we have a place and that’s it. Should I feel like I’m behind already? Yesterday someone said “my wedding is in 10 months – eek!’ and I couldn’t understand what the fuss could be about.

        • Anonymous

          Second on the apracticalwedding.com recommendation (both the book and the blog).

          I will say that if there are certain things that are a high priority for you (e.g photography or music), you should book those vendors as soon as possible. I was shocked at how early people book vendors, so once you have your date and venue, in the case of vendors that can only do one wedding a day, you should try to book those as early as possible.

    • Anonymous

      I am so over all these wedding planning posts, I suspect all of the posters who complain about their weddings to be total bridezillas. Chill. Out.

      • L

        Yup, you caught me. I am also demanding that the flowers be dyed the exact shade of hot pink I want and don’t understand why it’s so difficult for people to do 3 outfit changes for my day…..

        Said no one here, ever.

      • Anonymous

        I’m mostly over the cat posts. I usually don’t complain about posts because people are free to discuss whatever they want, but I rank cat posts last on my list.

      • anne-on

        In defense of stressed out brides everywhere, I have planned many large corporate events in major cities. When I do so I generally have a team of 3-5 people, plus the power of a large corporation’s event services department. For an event of 200 or so people I also have a very generous budget and am left to do things with relative autonomy. Also? I have experience and training in how to best put together an event and it is my main focus during that time.
        Brides are generally tasked with putting together a large event (most of them for the first time), with a limited budget, high expectations and lots of thoughts on how things *should* be done from well meaning friends and family. Plus no contacts with vendors to draw on, plenty of people who think they’re just being bridezillas or should *love* this planning, on top of a day job.
        So yes, I can see why it is stressful.

      • zora

        Well you guys are so lucky that no one is holding you down and forcing you to read anything, and you can use your eyes to just skippity skip right over any thread you don’t want to read! There’s even those convenient lines on the left side to help you determine when a new thread starts. Gosh, I love internet technology!

        • Parfait

          Seriously. We have scroll bars for a reason. If I can skip baby posts, you can skip cat posts.

    • bwb

      We found a u-pick place that would actually cut for us, and my mom’s friends used those to assemble table bouquets in thrift store vases. We got some sunflowers from the grocery store too. Potted plants for the sanctuary that my parents then planted at home. I carried hydrangeas from the yard. No bridesmaids.

  5. Trixie

    Moment of venting: I have a new direct report (he was put on my team ~4 months ago) who has consistently been leaving work earlier than appropriate. (Like between 3:00 – 4:00 PM). I didn’t notice for a while because I certainly don’t monitor my team members’ every move (and often folks are in meetings etc), but after a few times where I needed to ask him something and couldn’t find him, I kept a closer eye and noticed the leaving early pattern. I brought it up in conversation and didn’t really see much change. I sent him an email earlier this week saying “As I stated last week, we generally expect everyone to be on site from 8:00 – 5:00. Let me know if there are extenuating circumstances that make this challenging and we will work with [my boss] to come up with a suitable arrangement.” I just got an email from him that said, “Hey, just FYI I will be leaving at around 4:00 today.” No further explanation. We work in a professional environment and if people need to leave early on occasion, I trust my team members to self-regulate appropriately. But I’m starting to get frustrated by this guy’s attitude!

    • NOLA

      We had an issue like this recently with a salaried staff member (as opposed to hourly). I notice you said “generally” in your email. That gives him a bit of an out. One of the things we said to this young woman was that, yes, there is flexibility in your hours but it’s because we expect salaried staff to work AT LEAST the regular office hours on most days. The idea is that it balances out in the long run but usually more. We had to sit her down and say we expect you to be here during regular office hours and that changes will be the exception, not the rule. If he says he’s working from home later, that may be true, but that may be what everybody else does too, and they’re in the office. Emphasize why face time is important. Given how hard it is to get a good job these days, I am sometimes stunned by the attitude of some supposedly adult people. This young woman tried to talk to us about her quality of work life but we had been clear about our expectations and our culture. Not surprisingly she just submitted her resignation.

    • Brant

      Does he come in earlier? Is there work he isn’t getting done? I’ve found that if there are specific things the employee isn’t handling, try scheduling meetings with him at the end of the day to check in.

      Alternately, if there is some specific reason this irks you, try a sit down approach to understand. Perhaps he has bad traffic or kid pickup, and there might be the possibility of coming in early and/or working through lunch to compensate.

      But if you want to really make him stay, the 4:30pm check-ins will work.

    • cbackson

      It’s good to put the initial note in email (for documentation purposes), but I think that now you need to meet with him in person again, in a more formal manner. Let him know what you’ve said here – you looks for him a few times and couldn’t find him, and that while you generally trust team members to self-regulate, leaving earlier than 5:00 should be an exceptional (not a typical) thing. As him face-to-face if he foresees being unable to meet that expectation. It doesn’t have to be a super-confrontational meeting, but it does need to be clear to him that he needs to fix this.

      Good luck!

    • a.k.

      What is your formal time and attendance policy? Should he/is he taking an hour of leave when he leaves early? Or is it more that he’s not getting work done?

      I get your frustration – you have opened the door for him to either change his behavior or have a meaningful conversation about it, and he’s done neither. It reads like he’s really pushing boundaries here, and you may have to be firm and clear about what the boundaries are.

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      Agree with the above commenters in that it seems to be time for a sit-down. I’m not sure if you are always doing this, but it may be worth tracking his hours for a few days so that you can refer to specific incidents when discussing the problem, akin to what someone said above, and so you can say ‘for example on Tuesday, I needed to speak to you at 4.00 about X because of Y deadline, but I found that you had left at 3.30, this was a problem because Z’. Ultimately, provided you are giving him a chance to explain the reasons, then sounds like a bit of kicka** is in order.

    • Ellen

      I do NOT have alot more to say on this, but peeople should be there during workeing hour’s, and NOT leave early w/o permission b/c alot of thing’s come up late and if the guy leave’s early, the other peeople have to do what he should be doeing. FOOEY on that! I doubt this guy come’s in EARLY, does he? If not, I would go to the manageing partner and say that this guy is NOT stayeing around and he did NOT get permision to leave early! If the manageing partner has ANY back bone, he will counsel the employee and then put him on notice NOT to leave early.

      When I was a summer intern in the goverment (in DC), there was this VERY lazy woman, who did virtualy nothing all day except take 2 1/2 hour lunches. Then she took a 3 week vacation and when she came back, she wrapped up all of the back log of work before lunch on her FIRST day back, then went for her 2 1/2 hour lunch. And to think that goe’s on in the US Goverment! That is why I am NOW in private practice, and do NOT want to go back to goverment, unless of course I become a JUDGE. If I decide to be a PROFESSOR of LAW, I will NOT work in a public University (b/c that is goverment), but at a private school like my Alma Matter, where I am apreciated and there are NOT alot of dead wood peeople on the payroll. For now, I need to get MARRIED and have a child, so I can get Grandma Leyeh to be happy and give me $50,000. YAY!!!!!!

    • Trixie

      UPDATE (it’s exciting): After reading these comments (thank you for advice, everyone), I asked him if we could chat briefly. I said, “I saw your email about leaving today; can you give me a little more background on why you’re heading out early? I’m just wondering in light of the conversations we’ve had recently about work hours.” This unleashed a jaw-dropping tirade about work/life balance and micromanaging and our company’s attempts to “take over his life” and “inappropriate intrusiveness”.

      This was totally astonishing to me, in large part because I joined this company from a different one which DID expect long hours and weekend work from most people, and I have always been so happy that this organization largely confines its business to business hours. I have had occasional late evenings or weekend work before deadlines, but in general, I have been happy with the work/life balance and am confident that my opinion is largely shared by other folks here.

      So perhaps this company is not a great fit for him! I let him rant and then just told him that I didn’t realize he felt so passionately and perhaps we should include someone from HR before continuing the conversation so that we could make sure his concerns were addressed. Oy vey.

      • Svetlana

        I agree that you handled it well overall. My only question is whether it was necessary to ask him why was he leaving early. If he needs your permission to leave early, he should have to ask for it, and if he has regular work hours, he should be at the office during those hours unless he’s gotten the OK. But asking for a reason for the absence does seem intrusive to me.

        • Anonymous

          I agree. In my professional workplace, people are generally expected to be here, but I’d be really annoyed if someone asked me where I was going if I was leaving early. Its borderline unlawful. I’d be careful with this. What if he is having treatment for a medical condition?

        • Trixie

          Yeah, I hear you. Normally I would never ask where someone was going or why they had to leave but I wasn’t sure exactly how to bring up his leaving early today after I had reminded him about appropriate hours two days ago. If he had a medical treatment, saying “Oh, I’m sorry, I have an appointment that can’t be rescheduled” would have been totally fine and I certainly wouldn’t have pressed further. I was trying to find a way to indicate that I was open to having a conversation about it, rather than just saying, “I saw your email, and as I told you before, leaving early is unacceptable” in case there was a legitimate reason. But thank you for the reminder.

  6. Cats & Moving

    We are selling our house and close in a week. There have been a lot of boxes around, furniture moved, etc. I have 3 cats – one boy and two girls. I’ve noticed verticle pee marks on the basement walls and and two marks on a box in the living room.

    He had this problem before, which was when we were fostering a stray kitten. After that first incident, we got him checked out at the vet. He had a clean bill of health so we put him on Prozac for a while in case the issues were stress related. We eventually took him off the Prozac since the foster kitty was gone and things were stable in the house. He’s been doing well for several months now.

    One of my girls has had cystitis in the past, but she used to pee in corners, not walls, so I’m pretty sure it’s my boy.

    The only thing I can think of that is causing this issue is the move. There’s nothing else that has changed in the household recently.

    Has anyone else had issues like this with their cats when they had to move?

    • Wildkitten

      Moving is really stressful, even if you’re a person and understand what is going on. Can you corral him into a room or bathroom with a litter box so he won’t be so overwhelmed and also won’t have access to the boxes? And you might want to talk your vet – he’ll probably also be stressed when he moves to the new place.

    • MaggieLizer

      I went through this not long ago. Before the move, I kept my cat’s main spots – the bedroom and living room – completely move-free. I put all the boxes in the kitchen, closets, office, etc. I also had movers pack most of my place, so by the time kitty knew something was up we were already gone.

      After the move, being around familiar smells really helped kitty. I kept him in a bathroom with a litterbox and water during the move, but as soon as I opened the door he was really scared. I picked him up and put him on my bed (I made sure not to wash the comforter until after the move), and he calmed right down. Every time I introduced him to a new room, I would place him on a familiar piece of furniture or rug (really glad I held off on getting them cleaned), and he was fine. The only areas he had problems with were places where there wasn’t anything of “his” yet. I think it also helped that I was home all day the day after the move, so he didn’t feel like I just abandoned him in a new place.

    • Cats & Moving

      Thanks for the advice. I’ve been trying to keep his routine as regular as possible, but I’m sure he senses some of the stress my husband and I are going through. I have been spraying Feliway around boxes in the dining room, but didn’t think to do that in other rooms.

      We’re moving into an apartment while our new house is being built, so in another 6 months or so we have to go through the process again.

      Luckily, we have some time in advance to move stuff to the apartment, so the process will be a bit gradual as opposed to everything in the house gone at once.

      The morning of our final move out of the house, I’m going to take the kitties to the apartment and put them in one of the bedrooms with their food, litter boxes, perches and will keep the door closed. Once we’re settled in there, I’ll slowly try and introduce them to the rest of the place. It is smaller than our house, so hopefully they won’t be too overwhelmed.

      Thanks again!

  7. Rani

    Has anyone bought a house without a real estate agent? We’re looking now and found a potential place that isn’t on the market yet through word of mouth. Neither us nor the potential seller has a real estate agent yet, and it seems a little frustrating/silly to pay the commission when the agent didn’t do any marketing or searching.

    Any suggestions?

    Thanks!

    • Marilla

      I would make sure you both have a lawyer to represent you, review the contract, etc. I think more and more people are buying/selling without an agent to save money, but it’s a complex legal transaction so you won’t want to do this 100% on your own.

      • Anonymous

        +1. Definitely lawyers if no agent. Note that agent fees are negotiable too – you might be able to use a lower-cost firm like Redfin with a very limited representation.

    • LE comment

      Yes. You may be able to talk to a lower-fee place about just filling in the standard RE forms for a nominal fee or get a RE attorney to document your agreement (deposit; financing contingency; inspection contingency; when will closing be; etc.). I went the latter route. It all worked out, but I had a later home sale go all kinds of wrong when the buyer knocked up his girlfriend and wanted to walk away and get his deposit back (with realtors on both sides — it only takes one person to upend things).

      The standard RE forms take a lot of contingencies into account (but I have seen crazy things — realtor still gets a commission from the deposit if the buyer fails to close) and your goal is to document your transaction so that it gets done or you are protected.

    • anon

      Yep, I bought without an agent in NYC. I legitimately don’t understand why everyone uses real estate agents as a buyer. maybe they could be helpful in a high turnover area where they have quicker access to new listings, and if you’ve never bought before and are freaked out about missing something catastrophically wrong with a house/apartment or the sales contract, but I definitely don’t think they’re worth the commission they earn as buyer’s representatives (sorry, RE agents!). It should also help you get a lower price on the house if you don’t have to factor in commission– even if the sellers have an agent, they don’t have to share their commission with the buyer’s agent, meaning less of a chunk gets taken out of the $$ the sellers get at the end.

      I really can’t think of any other issues you should be worried about, though if I were you I’d get a lawyer to look at the contract before you sign (probably in all cases but especially if there are no agents). oh, and you’ll have to find your own inspector (usually agents have ones they work with often). not a big deal.

    • Violet_04

      I’ve found using a realtor is most helpful in the negotiation/contract aspects of buying or selling. We found our current house buy ourself, but our agent helped us figure out the correct price to offer and walked us through all the legal jargon in the contract.

      Note that the commision for your agent will come out of any profit the seller is getting for their house.

      We’re on the flip side now, selling our house so commisions from our profit are going to both our realtor and the buyer’s agent. It sucks, but we don’t know anything about real estate so having our agent’s help has been worth it.

    • anon2

      Am about to complete a cycle of selling and buying homes and initially considered not using a realtor when we sold our house because of a situation like you describe. I checked with a local real estate lawyer and was shocked that his fees to review the docs and regular stuff would be about the same as a realtor’s commission. These attorneys aren’t stupid and know what you’re trying to do.

      We also used our realtor to buy a home. Even though I did much of the actual finding of places to look at (my choice, I am something of a self-admitted realtor wanna-be), we were constantly surprised when we saw properties with what we thought were reasonable prices when our realtor suggested much lower prices were more appropriate. We ultimately bought a FSBO property where the sellers used a low cost real estate firm that basically got them on the MLS – they were clueless otherwise and agreed to a price that was much lower than my realtor even thought was going to happen. So while the sellers saved realtor’s fees, they actually lost much more in accepting our lowball offer.

      Bottom line – you really need to know your market. Where I am it’s pretty hot for decent properties and they are in short supply – things are changing so fast that it was worth it to have an advocate for me who know what he was doing.

    • RR

      We bought a house last year using Redfin and were really happy with it. We had already done most of the searching online and didn’t feel we needed a traditional agent. Redfin was minimal but did walk us through the process of getting the inspection, contracts, etc. Once you put an offer on a home you’re assigned an agent to work woth, so you do have one person handling your sale. They also refund a portion of the realtor fees which you can apply to the closing costs. The one area where I would have liked more support was in negotiating – we didn’t really have a good idea of what to offer or other aspects we could negotiate. But all in all, it worked for us.

  8. AK

    I ordered & promptly returned this very dress last week. There intersection of the waist & front vertical seam creates a weird bulge of extra fabric at the tummy and lower back, even in the smallest size. And FYI, the smallest size (2) is not that small — there is some crazy vanity sizing going on here. Disappointing. The fabric was nice, though, and the purple color was lovely.

    • frugal doc..

      Thank you very much for posting this. I was reading some of the reviews online and one mentioned this issue. I am slender top > bottom and this type of surprising extra fabric placement doesn’t work for me.

      I love the colors/style/convenience of this dress and was tempted to order (although I would wait for a sale…!), but I agree that the sizing shifts have made it really a pain….

      Some days I just wonder… how do people buy clothes? Am I the only person that feels that there is not a single dress, skirt, pair of pants to buy…. that doesn’t need to be altered? Or maybe I am just very unlucky about my figure shape/problems…..

      • Alana

        Aside from speaking with a personal shopper at Nordstrom’s, do you have any fashionable friends who are similar in height, size and shape to ask for advice? I’ve found it helpful to learn what silhouettes work best and to pounce when they are available. For example, BR sold shorts with a belted waist, and I made a beeline for them because I have a small waist and a large bottom.

        • frugal doc..

          You bring up good points… I should visit a personal shopper at Nordstrom’s again. My last experience was not very good… she was too young/too busy/just trying to push me to buy $200 skinny jeans when I was looking for professional daily clothing.

    • S in Chicago

      The fit only gets worse as you wear it. I bought this last summer in red and wore it a total of three times before sending it to Goodwill. It seemed to stretch and not come back and the cut wasn’t all that flattering to begin with, so by end of day and after the first wearing the frump factor was just so awful. I ordered down a size but it still stretched to look like a sack. I wouldn’t normally cast off something after so little wear, but life is too short to look like a bunch of potatoes if you don’t have to.

    • Nordies

      Just FYI, a good tailor can fix this problem. I bought a gorgeous Elie Tahari dress on super-freak sale that had this issue, and my tailor made it fit like a glove for around $30. Totally worth it.

    • AG

      That’s a shame. I bought this dress based on Kat’s prior recommendation and just ordered the new colors a couple weeks ago. This is currently my favorite weekend dress. The fit is roomy and relaxing on me.

  9. LE comment

    1. I love LE in general and their ponte in particular. Washes, doesn’t pill, etc.

    2. This looks like a wonderful dress, but I am not sure how ponte works with tights (I think the answer is that it doesn’t unless it’s lined). Does anyone know? I will freeze in this in another month or so even if I layer on a jacket or sweater.

    3. I am a pear and can wear a lot of their stuff b/c it isn’t straight up and down.

    • AnonInfinity

      For #2, you could try a slip.

      Good to know about #s 1 and 3. I’m a pear, too, and am always looking for dresses.

    • Anonymous

      No idea, but I would love to be in a place where you go from “August to freezing” in one month!

      • LE comment

        I think it’s just my internal thermostat + my office thermostat. If it were 80s / sunny or higher, I could wear this and be comfortable outdoors and if I kept moving in my office. But my office hovers around 70, which makes it very cold for me in a sleeveless dress.

    • rosielo

      You can totally wear this dress with tights! It won’t ‘stick’ to your tights or anything. And in regards to temp, I wear it year-round, with a tight turtleneck underneath in winter.

  10. ANP

    Help. I need some weight loss motivation! I’m roughly 10 lbs away from my pre-baby weight and am on Weight Watchers, which has worked well for me in the past. I’m also running regularly, training for a half-marathon at the end of September — so I feel pretty healthy from an exercise perspective. However, these last 10 pounds are KILLING me and the weight is 75% concentrated in my stomach, so I feel as though it’s very noticeable — moreso than if it was evenly distributed. I’m 5’3″, so the extra 10 pounds makes a difference.

    I just got referred to a physical therapist for diastasis recti, which is part of the issue with the stomach pooch. Until that takes effect, though, I’m completely down in the dumps about my body. I typically wouldn’t care about this as much but (a) I don’t have a ton of clothes that fit/make me feel good (and we’re on a temporary spending freeze, so I feel some guilt about buying new stuff — especially b/c I’m hoping not to be this size forever), and (b) the result is that I simply don’t feel positive about myself, which stinks. Body image hasn’t been a huge issue for me before so this is a new (and crummy) feeling.

    Any wisdom or advice? Juggling two kids (one who is still bre@stfed and gets up 3x/night), full time work, etc. makes it hard to track calories, but all I want to do is feel good about my body again.

    • Med School Q

      I have heard and believe that your body hangs on to the last 5 pounds (at least) until you’re done nursing. Like caveman starvation prevention since caveman brain knows it has to keep 2 of you alive.

      So, no advice, other than to be patient! Your body is doing serious work and sometimes it puts its foot down about doing more (on your time).

      • Samantha

        +1 on being patient! You are doing such a great job already – working full-time, waking up 3x/night, taking care of the older kid, nursing a baby, running a half marathon, and attending to a health issue at the physical therapist. Goodness, that is a long list! I would suggest attacking this issue once you are getting a solid night’s sleep. Everything is easier on a solid night’s sleep. And poor sleep habits don’t aid weightloss.

    • Anonymous

      I know you said you are already exercising, but I know I always feel better when I exercise regularly. Even if the weight doesn’t come off, I feel much better, mentally. Can you try to focus on fitness gains rather than your body. Another idea related to exercise is to add something new. It doesn’t sound like you have a ton of time, but can you add a yoga class once a week? Or even do a 100 push-up / 100 pull-up challenge? Or try a plank challenge.

      In terms of eating, I don’t like to track calories, but I like to try to make one healthy “switch” per day or per meal if I’m ambitious. So, I’ll order my usual salad, but forgo the pita bread on the side. Or order a side salad instead of fries. I watch portion sizes and at home always serve myself less than I think I want, and tell myself that I can go back for more. Usually I end up eating the smaller portion and then having some fruit after dinner.

    • ac

      I seriously could have written this post, so know you’re not alone! My baby #2 is 6 months old and I am frustrated by the 10-15 lb “inner tube” of extra weight concentrated around my tummy, love handles and hips.

      I started using My Fitness Pal and it probably takes 2 minutes of the day to track all of my food. You can download it to an app and can also access on a computer. I know it seems like one more thing to add to an already hectic schedule, but tracking food intake is SO IMPORTANT to changing your body & habits.

      Also, I do think there’s something hormonal that keeps the last bit of weight from coming off when you’re bre@stfeeding — at least that was how it worked for me with #1 — so it may take some time.

      Good luck with the PT — I’ve also heard great things about pilates to fix diastasis.

      • Anonymous

        Agree about Pilates. It has done wonders for fixing my abs post-baby. I also do these transverse abdominal exercises 3 times a week: http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Exercise-Transverse-Abdominal-Muscles

        I have a small diastisis but haven’t gone to PT. You may want to ask your PT if you also developed an anterior pelvic tilt during pregnancy that is causing your stomach to jut out. That was another problem I had to fix to get to a point where I was comfortable with my abs again.

        I also held on to an extra five pounds until I finished breastfeeding, so I’d cut yourself some slack until then.

    • S

      I know you’re on a temp freeze but can you buy a few cute things that fit now? Wearing clothes that don’t fit is the worst and it’s important to feel good about yourself as you are now. Not to enable, but there are some killer end of summer sales now.

    • Anon

      When I was training for a half, I could not lose weight. Afterwards, I continued to run, just not as much and added in more strength training and then I dropped those last 10 pounds or so. So it could be some combination of breastfeeding, plus the higher milage running that has your body holding onto weight. I know you said you are on a spending freeze, but can you try to find a few things, maybe on consignment or something that fit properly? It really does make a difference when you have clothes that fit. You have a lot going on and so maybe also try to cut yourself a bit of a break! (I know that is easier said then done when unhappy with your appearance…)

    • Maddie Ross

      Can I just applaud you for running while BF-ing? So impressed. I’ve tried to get out a couple of times, but I’m either totally uncomfortable, or I’ve wasted all the time I could use running getting ready to run by feeding, then pumping, etc. Again, so impressed! Way to go!

      • R

        Applauding too! I’m bf can’t figure out how to exercise either. I’m usually way uncomfortable, or like you said, the prep takes so much time that I have no time left over to actually work out. I’m in awe of people who can get it all done!

        And to the OP, I could have written the post (except the running part). No good tips, but just commiserating because I’m there too. I struggle in the mornings because nothing looks quite right and I know the frumpy-factor only gets worse as the day goes on. Ugh. Hopefully this is just one season of my life though, and hopefully it will pass quickly.

      • ANP

        You are wonderful for saying this — thank you! I always feel as though I should be doing more (hard on myself much?). But yes, getting out for some slow miles has been A Good Thing.

        If I nurse or pump within an hour prior to running I seem to be OK. A good sports bra is KEY, though — I can’t run in a crummy one. I use freya bras and they’re awesome.

    • LizNYC

      I’m just echoing the buying a few clothes that fit. Target and other outlets like that offer tops/pants/dresses that are really cheap (esp. on the clearance rack), so you’ll feel less guilty about buying and then not needing them later. Wearing stuff that doesn’t fit is the worst and hurts your self-esteem no matter how well you’re doing on the exercise and eating fronts.

    • L

      Damn lady! Take a deep breath. Just reading your post makes me tired. I know I’m going to sound crazy, but have you tried upping your calories (nutritious food, not junk)? I wonder if your body is just holding on to everything because you’re doing so much. Also, make sure you’re drinking enough water.

      Not sure if you can do this with your stomach issue, but how about spanx? If your issue is just pooch, fake it!

      • ANP

        Thank you, thank you, thank you. I feel like crying right now — my Type A, get-it-done-now personality is both a curse and a burden at times like these. You guys are all so nice to remind me to go easy.

        These are all good tips — to have patience, to focus on fitness, sleep and good eating instead of weight loss. I appreciate the cheerleading.

        • L

          I am no expert, but I’ll say this. When I stress about my weight, the scale hates me. When I say f it, ignore the number, and keep on with my usual routine it slowly creeps down.

    • Anon in NYC

      If you do have diastasis recti, I don’t think ordinary crunches will help. You might want to try searching for exercises specifically geared towards flattening out those muscles. I think I read too that there’s some sort of gear (probably similar to spanx) that you can wear at night to sort of flatten and smooth those muscles out. My understanding is that it (sadly) just takes some time (and in really serious cases, surgery).

      All that said, you should be proud of yourself for maintaining a fitness routine (and running 13.1 miles!), working full time, and taking care of 2 kids while experiencing what sounds like pretty serious sleep deprivation. There was just an article in the NYT (I think) about how a lack of sleep can cause weight gain. I know you don’t feel good about your body right now, but it sounds like your youngest is still pretty young and you’re doing everything right. Right now I’d try to make do with what clothes you have (perhaps get some tailored to fit better), see if you can stretch your budget to buy a few comfortable pieces, and do some research on diastasis recti-specific exercises.

  11. Med School Q

    I know that in law / MBA, where you go to school (national v. non-national) can matter a lot in terms of career options. Also, that in law, class rank is a major weed-out factor, especially if you are not at a top-5 school.

    What about med school? Does it matter so much where you go or how you did (so if you go to lesser-ranked U, you had better be in the top 10% of your class v. just graduate from Yale if you can afford it)? As a patient, I confess to not paying attention to any of this (and only knowing a bit that my OB went to MCV). Not asking for me but for some high school mentees who may lean towards medical school but are first-generation college prospects for their families and will struggle with undergraduate finances (so a goal will be going where they can graduate from debt-free or with minimal debt, even though these may harder to apply to graduate programs from).

    • law not med

      I don’t know firsthand, but from friends/friends of friends, it seems like it matters less. I know a person who went to school in the Caribbean for medical school and has a good residency now. They have this whole “matching” system that I don’t totally understand.

      • LF

        I concur with the advice in most of this thread… but in general I would say that law not med’s friend’s experience is the exception, not the rule, in terms of going to med school in the Caribbean. It’s incredibly expensive (and results in tons of debt!) because you have to spend your fourth year living in short-term accommodations in expensive U.S. cities to do any kind of clinical rotations. Plus, as others have mentioned, it’s definitely an uphill battle to get in any competitive specialties. Many of the more competitive programs often refuse to even look at foreign medical school graduates because they have plenty of domestic medical students to consider.

        Whatever your mentees do, make sure they keep their grades up in undergrad and take the MCAT soon after they’ve finished organic chemistry — those are probably the most important factors in getting into any medical school, let alone a famous school. The state option is a fantastic idea from a financial standpoint and many state schools are highly regarded even if they’re not famous like Stanford or Harvard. After that, match is really a crap shoot — aside from board scores, getting a good residency spot depends a lot on who knows who from which programs and having the computer spit out results in a favorable way.

    • roses

      Nearly all med school grads end up matching to a residency, but quality of school combined with the scores you get on your boards matter for the prestige of your residency. So it’s not so important what school you go to if you want to be a GP in a small town, but if you want to be a dermatologist at Johns Hopkins or something, you have a much better shot at a well-regarded school.

      • TBK

        I’m not a doctor, either, but this matches up with what my doctor friends say. If you want to just be a regular doctor (including a regular-type specialist, like an OB) seeing patients, it doesn’t really matter where you go (even if you want to practice in a city ultimately). The curricula are very standardized and you learn pretty much the same thing regardless of school. But, if you want to do research or, I imagine practice at some of the most elite hospitals, it will matter. By the way, if money is an issue, a friend of mine went to the military med school and was very happy there. She’s a Navy surgeon now and really enjoys her career. Just a thought.

        • frugal doc..

          This is a great idea. I forgot to add the military option. A great way to make medical school affordable.

          • Betty

            It can be a great option, but remember that you will always be “A soldier [saylor, etc.] first and a doctor second.” In other words, be prepared to deploy and serve in the military.

    • frugal doc..

      The most important step is going to the best residency program you can, as it is the final step in your training before applying for jobs. It certainly helps a lot to go to a prestigious medical school, because this will help you get into a prestigious residency program…. and many stay at the same hospitals where they went to medical school. Of course, you still have to do well regardless. However, several of my friends went to state school for medical school (much cheaper….), but worked hard to do well to be competitive for the best residencies.

      It shocked me how many people at Harvard were willing to take out $150-200k in loans that take decades to pay back.

      There are a lot of good residencies, and you don’t need to go to the “best” place to get good training and a decent job. There are a lot of jobs for doctors. However, if you want to go into academic medicine and/or work in the most competitive urban markets, you need to do well and go to the best places you can. Similarly, if you want to go into a very competitive speciality (usually the high paying ones…. like ophthalmology, dermatology, radiology, surgical subspecialties etc…) everything is critical…. But if you want to be a primary care doctor in Omaha…. not difficult.

      I went to a very competitive medical school, but would have never gone if I had to pay cash. It will cost at least a quarter of a million dollars to go to a “top tier” private medical school by the time your mentees get there. Salaries are also going down over the next 10 years, and they will likely slowly increase the training time to become a physician so that it will be more similar to Europe/Australia over time.

      There are quite a few ways of cutting those costs… including (rare) scholarships, programs that have research as part of your training that subsidize part of your medical school (Harvard HST program and others) or MD/PhD programs, and programs where your loans might be waived if you work in an underserved area of the country after you finish your medical training.

      All that being said, it is way too early for your mentees to be too worried about this, as many who are thinking about medicine in high school go different ways. Encourage them to start working in a hospital/shadowing a physician/volunteering soon so they can start to figure out if this is something they really might want to do. Encourage them to apply for every college scholarship they can find and work during college (lab tech/research, as this is important for a medical career and/or people interested in biology) to decrease loans. Totally agree that they need to keep their undergraduate debt down or they will be crushed under additional medical school debt….

      • s-non

        +1 definitely agree on way too early and keep the undergrad debt down. Countless friends and people I know dropped out of pre-med in college.

    • Anon

      I understand that it affects your chances in getting into higher ranked speciaties (derm, surgery, etc) and where you will do your residency (slots in urban areas are much more competitive that a small town).

      • Wannabe Runner

        I live in an underserved/more rural area, and we really need doctors! Our state is part of a collaboration with other states that forgive loans and find residency placements.

        We really need doctors. And the same is true in more rural areas all over the US.

    • s-non

      From what I understand from many med school friends is that for med school, you just have to get in (preferably in the US, it is much tougher to match from the Caribbean/Israeli schools). If they are going for the hardest specialties or hardest residency placements, and they are not at a top-top school, they will want to try to have an outstanding boards score, do very well in school, and potentially some research. I don’t know how many med schools rank or publish grades. But I have heard anecdotally that to compete for the best, they will need more than others who are able to also rely on the fact that they went to (ie) Johns Hopkins.

    • B

      The joke goes like this:
      What do you call the person who graduated last in law school? Unemployed.
      What do you call the person who graduated last in med school? Doctor.

      My sister is a in a Top 5 residency now in her dream specialty. She did an ivy undergrad, but went to a state university medical school with lots of scholarship money and living at home and has a quarter to half of what she would have had to spend if she had gotten into a better/private university medical school.

      It was a blow to her ego in some ways (our family friends are all at stanford med) but she’ll be doing what she wants to do in 3 years in her dream specialty.

      Unless you want to go into academic medicine, I don’t think it matters that much, especially when there is such a shortage of doctors.

      In addition to the money benefit, her state school med school was super collegial, super happy, relaxed (as much as med school can be) and ultimately located in the state where she wants to practice later and she already has an offer to join a practice so as a student she got a taste of what her life in 10-20 years would be.

    • MK

      I am a lawyer who went to a T5 school, my husband is a doctor who went to a very middle-of-the road med school. Whereas I count my lucky stars quite often that I was able to go to a T5 school, my husband turned down a much more highly ranked med school because he simply didn’t like the vibe he got there. Coming from the law school “rankings-are-everything” paradigm, I was shocked on match day when everyone is his class not only matched, but matched at highly prestigious hospitals across the country and in every specialty imaginable.

      My take from his experience is that the med school itself doesn’t matter–with the HUGE caveat that if it’s not a US med school you will be facing an uphill battle to match into anything other than a GP or pediatrics residency. Instead, what really, really matters are your med school grades and your Step 1 board scores. For students who don’t have those things going for them, going to a med school with well-regarded clinicians as your professors helps in terms of networking/getting into a top residency through a non-traditional route, but from what I can tell that is basically the only time when the med school you went to matters at all.

  12. RED

    More about brogues/oxfords: What do you wear them with in a business casual office to avoid looking stumpy? I like the look of brogues with knee-length skirts/dresses or ankle-length trousers on J. Crew models. I suspect it’s because they have such slender legs that they do not need to worry about exaggerating their calves.

    I know. More first world problems.

    • Anonymous

      I love them with slim ankle length pants. I’m not brave enough to do them with skirts.

    • zora

      A) you have to not worry about it so much. ;o) the reason to wear them is bc they are comfy and look good. If you really are worried about being stumpy, you could try brogues with a heel.

      B) make sure you are looking straight at yourself in a full length mirror from far away. THAT is what you look like to other people. Don’t look straight down at your shoes. I think our feet are way less noticeable and look less ‘stumpy’ to others than they do to ourselves.

      Just rock it!!

  13. Medical insurance question

    I’m looking at a potential job with a new employer, and I’m trying to evaluate their medical insurance offering. My current employer’s insurance is excellent, no deductible, no out-of-pocket, 100% coverage. The new package has a calendar year deductible, 80% coinsurance (not sure what this means), and an annual out-of-pocket maximum. For example, inpatient hospital services are covered at 80% after deductible. Does this mean that a $100,000 hospital bill would result in me covering $20,000 myself despite the annual out-of-pocket maximum? I’m thoroughly confused! Can anyone help explain?

    • Veronique

      Your deductible is the amount that you have to pay before any insurance kicks in. Once you’ve paid the amount of the deductible, you pay 20% of the cost for all future costs, up to the annual out-of-pocket maximum. After that, your insurance will cover the total cost and you wouldn’t pay anything. In your example, you would pay the annual out-of-pocket maximum (assuming it’s less than $20k), minus what you’ve already paid (deductible plus copays).

    • Famouscait

      Coinsurance is the amount that you pay out of pocket. So for a $100 procedure covered at 80% you would pay $20. These coinsurance payments you make contribute to your annual out-of-pocket maximum (MOOP). Your deductible does not contribute towards your MOOP. So for the inpatient hospital stay you mentioned, you would pay your deductible, plus your 20% coinsurance up to the MOOP max.

      What’s important to know about coinsurance is that sometimes the place/provider that you use can be more expensive than others, so it sometimes pays to “shop around” (although pricing can be difficult information yo get from providers, in my experience).

      My family policy is that we always have enough money in our emergency fund to cover all insurance deductibles + MOOPs at any point. As my husband likes to say, “If we both run into each other and the house while driving our cars and need medical attention, we’d be covered.” Unlikely, sure – but possible – yes.

      Don’t be afraid to call up the health insurance provider and ask for specific details if you know you’ll need to or are likely to utilize certain types of services. I’d also recommend looking at what providers in your area accept the insurance, so you’re not getting into a situation where you have insurance coverage, but no viable providers w/i whatever radius is acceptable to you.

    • frugal doc..

      Your current insurance is incredible, and is almost never seen these days. Your future job insurance is the norm, and is considered reasonable. Most company insurance plans additionally require you to pay something every month towards your premium as well (it is taken out of your paycheck pre-tax), and this amount is increasing each year.

      It is definitely a little confusing making the transition when you are not used to co-pays, deductibles etc…

      In general, you will not have to pay more then your maximum out of pocket for the year, which you will rarely reach unless you have a lot of medical problems or have a major surgery/admission/calamity. Remember, your yearly physical exam, mammogram, PAP, lab tests are all free with the new Obamacare rules – no deductible, no out of pocket. Certainly if you get pregnant, you will have higher costs that year and will likely reach your maximum out of pocket!

      Certainly health insurance costs should be considered as a variable when negotiating new job contracts. Only you know your health situation and frequency of use and potential expenses, so it may be worth doing a quick calculation.

    • Brant

      Others are correct. Just wanted to reply to your specific example.

      If you have a $1000 deductible, a $10,000 max out of pocket and 80/20 co-insurance, and you rack up $100,000 of medical bills, you will owe the following:
      1. The first $1000 [this is your deductible]
      2. 20% of the remaining $99,000 bill, up to $9000
      3. Nothing else for the rest of the year, as you’ve hit your max out of pocket of $10k

      So your total spent for the year will be $10,000. Even if you have 5 more $100,000 hospital stays.

      Now for a more realistic example: You rack up a $10,000 medical bill. You will owe:
      1. The first $1000 of charges
      2. 20% of the remaining $9,000 ($1,800)
      3. 20% of any additional medical bills for the remainder of the year, until you’ve spent a total of $10,000 (you’d have to hit a total of $45k)

      All of the examples above assume you’re in-network. If you go out of network for care, it may not apply to your deductible, and/or you may have a higher coinsurance rate (eg. 70/30)

      If your package has a “high” deductible (somewhere in the $2000+ range), you should check to see if your company offers an HSA or other tax-free account. Mine does, and they also contribute to it, which makes the whole thing much more reasonable.

      • NYNY

        Just one small bit to add to the good advice that several have given here: Your coinsurance is likely for in-network services, so if you receive a $100,000 medical bill, your out-of-pocket is based not on the amount of the bill, but on the amount that your carrier has contracted to pay the hospital and/or doctors for the services rendered, called the “allowed amount.”

        Charges: $100,000
        Allowed amount: $68,000
        Deductible: $1,000
        20% coinsurance would be $13,400, but your oop limit means you pay $9,000

        If it’s for out-of-network services, on the other hand, your insurance pays a rate usually predicated on a multiple of what Medicare pays (say 115%), and the healthcare provider can balance bill you for the remainder. It’s likely that your oop limit only applies to in-network, so be careful about in-network vs. out-of-network.

    • Medical insurance question

      Thanks so much, this is all very helpful! I’ve been with my current employer for many years now and while I knew and appreciated how amazing their health insurance benefits are, it has been confusing and a bit of a shock when evaluating new potential employer’s benefits.

      I’m mid-career, and this job could potentially last through retirement, so these benefits are going to weigh heavily in the decision-making process.

  14. cc

    My MIL is going back to school, a community college. Any suggestions for a small gift to recognize the achievement?

    • tesyaa

      It’s not so much an achievement as a beginning. (Completing a course of study would be an achievement). What about flowers or a houseplant with a card sending her your best wishes?

      • cc

        well ok, for her it is an achievement. It took her a long time and a lot of work to get to this point, and she is very excited about and I’d like to recognize it. I’m looking for something more school specific but maybe flowers.

      • bgt

        This seems unnecessarily snarky. Just because she is beginning to work on another achievement (graduating) does not mean that getting to where she is now was not an achievement. And it doesn’t affect the fact that cc would like to give her a gift to congratulate her.

        That aside, I think a houseplant/flowers is generally a nice gift, but seems a bit too “home” themed IMO. More “school” themed might a GC for a coffee shop on or near campus, a good travel mug, a nice USB drive, a computer case if she has a laptop, or logo’d gear from her college bookstore (sweatshirt, mug, etc).

      • Wildkitten

        I think deciding to go back to school as an older adult is a huge achievement.

        • Cc

          Thank you both (and for all the other suggestions) I think it’s an incredible achievement. She has two youngish ones at home and me and dh want to let her know we are very impressed with her achievement of all the work necessary to get in, and the commitment it takes

    • ANP

      Gift card to the campus coffeehouse (or Starbucks) with a mug or coffee thermos from the community college?

      • In-House Optimist

        This – get one of the super nice Starbucks mugs that last forever and never leak but that she (I) would never buy herself (myself!), then stuff it with a gift card. An aunt did this for me as a “you’re going to law school” gift and I LOVED it (and still remember it!).

    • Wildkitten

      That’s great! Some ideas: a tote bag, highlighters, a gift certificate to the book store. A tote bag from the book store, with highlighters and a gift certificate inside?

    • zora

      Love it!! A beautifiul notebook? Really cute office supplies, like sticky notes/paperclips/pens/highlighters with cute patterns on them? The kind of things you wouldn’t splurge on for yourself, but would cheer you up to look at when doing work. And second the travel mug: Coffee is SO IMPORTANT for school! ;o)

    • KLG

      What about a nice or cute planner? Something she could write her assignments/tests in.

  15. Roomba

    I’m considering getting a Roomba to deal with the excessive amount of dust and cat hair that seems to accumulate in my apartment every single day. Does anyone have experience with them? Is it worth the price? Do they work? Will it replace an upright vacuum?

    • Cali CPA

      My roommate got a Roomba for Christmas and we love it! Our apartment has two shedding dogs so it is running constantly and does a great job of picking up hair and dust. I also love it because now I can clean under my bed easily too. Our whole apartment is hardwood, so we were just swiffering before, so I can’t really compare it to an upright vacuum, but if she moves out the first thing I’m doing is buying a new one!

    • eek

      I had one several years ago and ended up returning it (Costco – easy returns!). I bought it to help with the day to day dog and cat fur on hardwood floors. It didn’t do a great job and for me it wasn’t worth the hassle (setting up sensors, it always seemed to get stuck); I spent more time emptying the thing and resetting it than if I actually vacuumed every day.

      • B

        Ditto this experience. I don’ tknow if it’s because it’s from 2010 or what, but it doesn’t seem to hold it charge or run properly.

      • Anonymous

        This was my experience too. I actually spent more time setting up the sensors, moving chairs (otherwise it wouldn’t go under the table at all, which is where all the food crumbs were), and rescuing it from being stuck than if I’d just vacuumed “normally.” It also crashed HARD into my dark furniture and left marks.

        I got a Dyson and absolutely love it. The Roomba is stuffed in the back of the closet. I don’t even feel ok selling it on ebay because it was so worthless.

    • Hel-lo

      Love our Roomba. We have one small dog, and it does a great job. The “canister” thing isn’t very big, so if your pet is super sheddy, you may have to empty it pretty frequently.

      But the Roomba goes under furniture, goes around for a while, and then comes out. Love it.

      If you have all hardwood, you might consider the Mint. It’s a Roomba, but for hard floors instead of carpet. (We have mostly hard floors, but with area rugs over most of it. So our Roomba works well on both surfaces.)

    • Jo March

      We LOVE our Roomba. It doesn’t do the deepdeep cleaning or the shag carpet very well, but for daily/weekly upkeep, it is fantastic. Vacuuming is now Professor Bhaer’s job instead of mine because of the Roomba! And it definitely keeps the cat hair/general dust bunnies under control.

  16. RHONJ

    I was impressed by Teresa Guidice’s suit and general make-under for her court appearance yesterday. Looks like she still had fake eyelashes on, but I always like to see people not known for wearing suits wear suits.

    • Anonymous

      I was impressed in the sense that she looked much better and way less trashy than normal. I was disappointed in the sense that even a woman with a great figure like Teresa apparently cannot look good in a suit. It just makes me dislike suits more. Sigh.

      • RHONJ gawker

        I thought the same thing. That light beige color is so tough. If she can’t pull it off with her tiny legs, than no hope for me. I thought the make up was really great. The only negative was the stupid bun pulled so high. Would have looked a gazillion percent better positioned lower. Didn’t realize she was so much taller than him either. He looked like a big old mess.

  17. bath linens?

    Does anyone have any suggestions on good places (online) to order nice bath linens? I am redecorating my bathroom and would like to upgrade my Target towels and shower curtain. I have looked at Pottery Barn, Westelm, Restoration Hardware, Crate and Barrel, etc., but am wondering what else is out there. I don’t mind splurging a little bit, but with all the variety (and the fact that I’m ordering online), I want to make sure I get something high quality.

    • bella

      I don’t know about suggestions for places, but I would suggest against Restoration Hardware. I love how soft my towels from there are, but the are still shedding two years later. Not cool.

    • JJ

      I know you said you looked at Pottery Barn, but those are the best towels I’ve ever bought. We’ve had them for over 5 years now and they are just as soft and fluffy as when we first bought them. I prefer thick, fluffy towels and these are the thickest that I’ve come across. Never had an issue with shedding, either. Highly recommend.

      • Mighty Mouse

        And if you use the PB credit card, you’ll get 10% back in rewards points to use on other things. Love that card!

    • mascot

      We just got some WaterWorks Studio towels from a flash sale and they are pretty nice. I also have been consistently pleased with the Lauren Ralph Lauren towels from the department store. They have held up fine and are at a price point that I don’t mind replacing when I damage them with make-up and cleaners.

    • AEK

      I like Casa dot com for this. In fact I’ve been using that family of sites so often these days (Beauty Bar, Wag, Soap, etc.) that for the first time I’m questioning whether Amazon Prime is worthwhile for me anymore…and I *never* thought I’d utter those words!

    • Merabella

      Our Hotel Collection towels and shower curtain from Macy’s are awesome. The towels have held up really well to washing/drying – and we are terrible with that stuff in that we just throw everything together. And don’t buy them full price – Macy’s always has a sale and coupons, and make sure to use ebates.

      • Senior Attorney

        +1 for Macy’s Hotel Collection

        Just be careful with products containing bleach or similar (teeth whiteners, hyudrogen peroxide) because they aren’t colorfast.

    • PolyD

      I’ve never ordered from them, but I know people really like Garnet Hill and The Company Store.

  18. bella

    I’ve been asked to keep my time for the first time in my career (I’m a junior atty). I’m a little daunted. Tips? Methods that work? I keep forgetting to pay attention to the time so any help is welcome. Thanks!

    • LeChouette

      I use a timer – my firm provided them but you could also just use a stopwatch on your phone. Hit start when you start working on a project and stop when you stop and just keep track of the time as you go. Also, it’s a pain but enter your time every day. If you let it go on too long it will become a monster.

    • Anonymous

      I just write down my start and stop times and the file, and recruit my assistant to calculate the actual number of minutes and input it into our billing system.

    • Jules

      My system is low-tech (as is our firm’s – the attorneys don’t enter the time ourselves but write it down for entry by the office manager). I write on paper the time when I start and end work on a client matter, with notations for when I take time away from it for a different client matter — e.g., a phone call or an e-mail that needs an immediate response — or for wasting time online or in a colleague’s office. At the end of the day (or, truthfully, the end of the week and sometimes even the end of the month) I tot up all the time for each client matter for the day with an indication of the work performed.

      I used to do this on legal pads but was always losing them/putting them in a file, which caused wasted time and sometimes actual panic. Now I buy pretty little spiral notebooks that are easier to find in the mess on my desk and that I like to look at. I don’t have any great advice on how to remember to actually record the time, though — that’s still a problem for me and I’ve been billing hourly for 20+ years.

    • Lynnet

      I’m a new attorney and I’m struggling to make my hours, so I’m kind of in the same place you are. Our billing software has a stopwatch, so I use that for everything I do at my desk, and I try to save as I go, add meeting times immediately after the meeting, etc. I always, always, always do my time before I leave for the day. Since I’m struggling to make my hours, due to lack of efficiency and lack of work, I try to get everything saved in around noon and around 4 pm so that I can see where I am in terms of the hours I need to bill for that day. I find meetings are the hardest, since I don’t have my timer and thus don’t know exactly when they start or stop, especially if we’re talking about more than one matter in the same meeting. I still haven’t figured out how to deal with that, yet.

    • CKB

      I used to keep a sheet of paper next to my computer that kept track of my time each day. I had to keep track of all time, not just billable time (worked for an accounting firm), so on the left it would have the time (ie 8:00-10:45) and on the right what client I was working on (ABC Ltd 2013 year end). Then I’d enter it into the system at the end of each day and make sure the amount of time in the system agreed with the time I was in the office. Then I’d file the timesheet just in case I needed it later.

      Not sure if this method works in law, but it worked for me.

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