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For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. Call me crazy, but I'm loving the pocket situation with this suit. The two double-flap pockets look a little sharp, a little … dangerous perhaps (or maybe that's the model's stance). The fact that it's a seasonless stretch wool also sounds lovely. The jacket (BOSS Black ‘Juicyra' Tropical Wool Jacket) is $595; the pants (BOSS Black ‘Tulia' Tropial Wool Pants) are $250. A matching skirt (not pictured: BOSS Black ‘Veronice' Tropical Wool Skirt) is also $250, all at Nordstrom.Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – 11/5 only – 60% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
AIMS
I heart this suit.
Kanye East
It really looks gorgeous. I have been wanting a Hugo Boss suit for the longest time; any time my husband & I go to Nordstrom Rack on a lark and he comes out with a Hugo Boss suit for 1/10 of the retail price, it fans the flames.
eek
Agree. I’ve been eying this suit for such a long time.
MissJackson
Me too. Love, love, love.
Ru
May I interject that I love it when Kat asks us to call her crazy? It always makes me laugh =).
Always a NYer
There is something about this otherwise plain black suit that appeals to me. I’m not sure why the double pockets give it a bad*ss vibe as Kat points out, but it does, IMO. I could see Lara Croft wearing this, with her combat boots of course, on a day she needs to class it up.
CPA to be
Maybe it’s the lapel too? The narrowness gives it a really sleek tuxedo-esque lady James Bond vibe. I agree– Very bad-a$$.
CW
Agreed – love it.
Diana Barry
I love this suit. Love it!!!! I am putting this brand on my list for when I can buy regular clothes again. :)
New York Esq.
I bought the skirt to this at an amazing deal at Nordstrom Rack ($40!) I have been so tempted to buy the blazer and make it a full suit. The skirt is extremely flattering and well cut.
anonymous
I love this suit and *wish* I could justify buying another suit right now.
I am also in desperate need of advice as to whether I should accept a job offer. The offer is for what I would pretty much describe as my “dream job”; the only problem is that the job is in a less than ideal location.
My husband and I met in college and ever since then he has been following me around the country as I attended graduate school and interned in two different cities (his job allows him to work from home so it has been easy for him to relocate). Both of our families and most of our friends are located in the same state, which is where we have always planned on living. But now I have this fabulous job offer in a distant (i.e., not within driving distance) city. (At the time I applied, there was a chance I could have been placed in the branch in my ideal city, so it’s not as if I applied to this job knowing I would be stuck in my present situation.)
My question to you ladies is, would you turn down the offer? My husband has expressed displeasure at the thought of moving away from friends and family again, especially since we’ve always previously been within driving distance of home. I feel horrible asking him to move even farther away, again for my own career. Even my parents have noted that they’d like us to stay closer. Plus, we are at the age where we are thinking about children in the near future.
But, at the same time, this job offer seems too good to be true and it’s unlikely that this offer (or even anything similar) will come around again anytime soon (especially in light of the present economy). I should probably also mention that there’s a possibility of transferring to a different branch in the future (after at least a couple of years). I don’t have any other job offers on the table (although I am still sending out resumes) and will definitely need a job come summertime.
meme
In this economy, if you have no job now, and need one relatively soon, and this is your “dream job,” I’d say you’d be a little crazy to pass it up.
OP
I should clarify that I have a job now, but it ends this summer. I also don’t necessarily anticipate having trouble finding “a” job, it just won’t be “the” job.
meme
Well, that makes a difference. I will say that hubby and I always thought we’d end up back in home city but are now firmly rooted near where he went to law school about 500 miles away. It worked out this way because when he finished law school and was ready to take the bar exam it didn’t seem to make fiscal sense for me to leave a great job and have both of us searching in a so-so economy. With kids and busy law practices, we make it home about once per year only. So if being very close to family is very important to you, keep in mind it is not always so easy to get back once you leave, especially if there are 2 career paths involved.
Anon13
Ouch. I don’t know what to tell you and I’ll be interested in hearing what others say. I have not yet gotten an offer for my dream job, but I’m in the process of applying for it and it’s on the other side of the country. I’d give my right arm to get the offer, but still dreading the guilt that would come with leaving my family 2000 miles behind and dragging my husband along with me.
Kady
How far away is the dream job? Could you do a commuter marriage for a year or so while you figure out (i) if this is actually your dream job and (ii) if it is actually realistic to try for a transfer?
Homestar
Commuter marriages are very hard. Harder than most people realize before going into them.
Kady
I was in commuter marriage for 8+ years, 4 of them with kid(s), so I know about the difficulties first hand. But I think it’s worth exploring in this situation (OP seems to want to return to family city, husband unwilling to leave, OP may be able to transfer back). It sounds like this is an issue that could create a lot of marital hostility for OP.
Plus, to be blunt, I think there are lots of people who think they’ve scored a “dream” job only to have such jobs fall very very short of the mark. OP is asking her husband to effectively go against everything they’ve planned so that she can pursue a job for which she has no real information yet. I’m all about women maximizing their career potential, but think that a bit of prudence (even if it comes with hardship) is in order here.
Gooseberry
I was about to say everything Kady just said, and then she said it. So, thanks Kady, and “ditto.”
Homestar
Thanks Kady, I did not intend any hostility if it came across that way. Did the commuter marriage for 3 years (w/out kids) and it was really tough on us.
eh230
I took a job across the country out of law school and dragged my husband with me. We ended up really disliking the city, and when we had our soon, an unpleasant situation turned out to be even worse. It is extremely hard to have kids and not have family and friends around to help, give advice and just to get to know your child. I recently accepted a wonderful job that is located in the same town as some of my distant relatives and within driving distance of all of my husband’s family. We love it. Grandma and Grandpa can jump in the car and visit for a weekend. It has enriched our lives and our son’s life.
sadie
I would also note that the older you get, the harder it is to move back to your “home” state. Don’t take the job offer thinking that it will be a temporary thing, followed by another relocation. Take the offer thinking of it as a permanent move.
And I will just say this: I love living where I do now, but I will always regret making the set of decisions that have left me here, 3000 miles away from all of my family, with a baby. It’s not even about the babysitting help — it’s that no amount of Skyping, emailing, etc., will make up for the fact that my parents will never really know my daughter the way they would if we were in the same city (or heck, the same state.)
MelD
My thought is this- is it really a “dream job” if it takes you away from your family and friends and requires your husband to move for a third or even fourth time? My thought is that a dream job is not just about the job itself, but it’s also about the location of the job. What if you hate the location? What if you have kids and are unable to develop a strong support network? You still have a lot of time, and I think it’s better to focus on finding positions that are within driving distance of your family.
AB
This. I had my “dream job” on a volunteer basis for a few months, with the expectation that I’d get the next paid opening. The catch though was that it was over 2 hours from home and in a city I quickly learned I would never want to live in or even near. It quickly went from dream job to burden.
AB
correction – over 2 hour drive from my husband and I’s home.
Lola
This, MelD.
A job away from my family would not be my “dream job.”
(But I don’t really believe in a “dream job” anyway. Each job has positives and negatives. You should know that going in, or you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.)
Anon
sadie, AB and MelD make great points. Location makes a huge difference. Having or developing a strong support network is important to the well being of your entire family. I felt fortunate to take a decent job about halfway between my west coast childhood home and my adopted adult east coast home, considering the fact that I graduated in 2008. The people at the job are awesome, but the city is not a good fit for me and it chafes on a regular basis.
Unsub
I spent many years at my dream job and then, because of a merger, I was laid off. Going very quickly from a dream to a nightmare was not fun. My dream man, however, has stuck by me and has made my life infinitely better in a myriad of ways. I’m not sure what you should do but I do know that your job will not necessarily love you back, but your husband will.
An
I agree with the wise comments and vote no on the job.
anon
i vote no. your dream job will not come with a dream life.
Jax
If it’s your dream job I would take it.
There is the chance you could get transferred to the city of your choice in the future and it would probably be easier to do this if you were a rockstar in the job than if you were fresh off the street.
If you are thinking of having kids that’s probably a factor that is at least 1 year and maybe more away. By than you may find a job closer to your families, fall in love with this new city, change jobs….
And if you don’t take it you’ll always wonder “what if”
SF Bay Associate
I know it’s totally off topic, but I’m repeating my comment from the wallet thread because I really believe in A Practical Wedding and the blogger behind it:
I must direct you ladies to apracticalweddingDOTcom – the only sane wedding website I came across during my wedding preparations. The blogger, Meg, is having a book launch today, Wednesday, to try to get her book on the Amazon bestseller list. For anyone who is engaged, or knows someone who is or will be, buy them this book. Seriously, the APW blog prevented me from going off the deep end several times during our wedding planning. LPC is featuring the book on her blog today as well. Even if my endorsement isn’t worth much, listen to LPC. Buy this book. The next friend of mine who gets engaged is getting a copy, and every friend after that.
APW is the only blog I found who says you don’t need to have All The Things at your wedding for it to “count” – only buy/make/have the Things that are actually Important to You and Your Fiance at your wedding, and forget the rest. That you don’t have to want All The Things. That it’s ok to let some of the Things go. APW is supportive of LGBT, blended families and real women dealing with tough family drama as they approach their weddings, and ceremonies of all types, whether it’s a giant church wedding or a picnic at an organic farm or an elopment anywhere – all weddings “count” just as much as any other, no matter what the ceremonies and receptions do or don’t have. That sentiment is so rare and so precious in the wedding industry world. It’s $10. Buy the book.
Kanye East
Offbeat Bride is good, too. And also in this vein.
anon
Seconding Offbeat Bride!
Anne-on
Just bought the book. I wholeheartedly agree – Meg and APW kept me sane during my wedding planning and I wish I’d had access to this type of book then. Or even that I’d found her website earlier in my planning process!
I’m certainly going to be giving copies to my newly (or soon to be) engaged friends!
Homestar
SF Bay Associate, did you ever pick out shoes? I really enjoyed pretend shoe-shopping the other week when you were looking for ideas. What did you end up going with?
SF Bay Associate
Oh Homestar. I did. I’m horrified to admit that I bought $500 full priced exclusive-to-Saks Jimmy Choos – Logan Glitter d’Orsay, item 0448831229809 . I’ve never spent so much on anything, and I didn’t get any kind of discount, which runs counter to my fundamental shopping philosophy. And yet, and yet. Love at first sight.
http://tinyurl.com/82drtt4
Kady
GORGEOUS! Love them. You rock them SFBA!
CW
oooooooh, love.
Ellie
GOrgeous. & thanks for book rec! I’ll pick it up.
NOLA
Perfect! So glad you found the right thing. And so worth it when they’re perfect.
Amy H.
OH my God. Those are stunning. And I agree that getting exactly what you want is worth it!
Homestar
Lovely!
AIMS
Seriously. Those are stunning.
I don’t even think that’s unreasonable. I have several friends who went slightly unorthodox with their wedding shoes (i.e., not white satin) and they have gotten more than their fair mileage at other fancy occasions. Enjoy!
D
Pretty!! I wish you would show us your dresss!! I’m so excited for you!
conbrio
Yay – an online shopping victory! I just received my order of some nice work basics from Lands’ End – the basic crewneck cardigan, the scoopneck tee, and the boatneck ponte top with 3/4 sleeves. All of them fit well and are of very nice quality and substantial fabric. I’m so pleased!
Here are links:
http://www.landsend.com/pp/FineGaugePerformanceCrewCardigan~211862_59.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::LOA&CM_MERCH=IDX_Women-_-Sweaters-_-Cardigan&origin=index
http://www.landsend.com/pp/LightweightCottonModalScoopneckTee~217519_59.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::BLA&CM_MERCH=IDX_Women-_-KnitTopsPolosTurtlenecks-_-Regular-_-KnitTops&origin=index
http://www.landsend.com/pp/PonteButtonPlacketBoatneckTop~229905_59.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::DCH&CM_MERCH=IDX_Women-_-KnitTopsPolosTurtlenecks-_-Regular&origin=index
Dutchfan
Ladies- I have a broad question I hope I get get some advice for.
I have been offered a job in NYC. I have been there many times, like it a lot (I’m not one of those ‘OMGZZZ I’d die if I got to live in NYC, but I do really, really like it) and I’m wondering if I should make the move.
It will be a step forward for my career. At 26, I think this is the right time to move. I have nothing attaching me to my current city. But I am going to be brutally honest- I would like to find someone and get married within the next few years (i.e. 30ish). All I hear is how awful dating is in NYC. Honestly, dating in my city sucks too- anyone I know who was single when they started law school is still single (the ones with relationships either broke up and are single or are still going).
This is the prime of my life for getting on a good career track, but also for my future love life. Maybe that sounds like a bad consideration, but it is important to me.
Anyone have any thoughts? FWIW, I’d be moving from a fellow north-east city. I’ve always wanted to move from this city, so I think it’s more a matter of when (i.e. now or many years from now), not if.
Batgirl
FWIW, I think dating in New York sucks. But it may suck elsewhere, too. All you need is one guy–NYC has lots of those. I don’t know that I’d pick a place based on where I had the best chance to meet guys–not because it’s not important but because I’m not quite sure it works like that. You could meet the man of your dreams at the top of a volcano in Guatemala…or in NYC. Who knows?
Dutchfan
I wouldn’t pick a place based on that either. BUT I also wouldn’t go and live in the middle of the desert then wonder why I can’t meet anyone.
I want to move for my career (the job opportunity is great), but I also don’t want 120% of my life to be my career. Life is more than my career to me.
Maybe dating just plain sucks everywhere because some people don’t want to grow up anymore. But that’s a whole other can of worms.
Dutchfan
Also, if I’m not SOOO in love with NYC, will it eventually wear me down? Do only the super passionate survive there?
Read more: https://corporette.com/2011/12/07/suit-of-the-week-boss-black/#ixzz1fspWyWSp
Hel-lo
I think you will figure out if you actually like it, or whether you just like the idea of it.
Also, I don’t think NYC is any worse in the meeting-men department than any other city. There are lots of men there. Lots of different kids of men. (If you’re, say, looking for a lumberjack or a coal miner, that might be difficult in NYC. )
Go for it! It’s an adventure, and something you’ve always wanted to do! I don’t see any reason not to give it a try.
Former NYCer
Dating in NY REALLY sucks. I can’t tell you how many girlfriends I’ve had who’ve left New York purely because of the dating suckage issue.
Homestar
Yes, I think I read NYC has a supply/demand imbalance that is not likely to go away anytime soon. (Low supply of available young men who want to commit, with high demand from many single women for said type of man.)
I don’t think that you are silly in considering dating prospects along with your career. If finding the right guy is really important to you, you might want to take a pass on NYC–especially because you didn’t express uber-excitement for the job in your original post.
Although you may never find the right guy and shouldn’t make your decisions solely on the basis of your prospective love life, it is OK to look at this factor as you consider a job offer. So unless the NYC offer is incredibly unique and a big move up in your career, consider waiting for another better option. I think for such a big move you should be really excited about it, and it does not sound like you are.
Hel-lo
Where to people go from NYC to find a man? (And are they successful?)
AIMS
Honestly, all the men I’ve ever had any luck with, I’ve met through school or through friends. I’ve gone out with guys I met in bars and the like, but never more than a few times, if that. But I do have a few friends who met their SOs (2 are married, 2 are just dating) through dating websites. The ones that worked for my friends are jdate & okcupid.
anon too
I lived in New York City for one year for a post-doctoral program, and I met my husband. He followed me to Boston after he finished his residency. New York City is a fantastic place to further your career, live as a young person, and to fall in love.
We considered moving back to New York City, but admittedly, it is a very difficult (i.e., expensive place) to raise a family.
Anon
Take the job. NY is fantastic and the dating is not as dire as everyone says. I have three friends who have met and married their DH in the last 6 years in NY. Its a wonderful place to be a young professional and better to seize the opportunity than regret what might have been.
Nancy P
If you really really like NYC, I don’t think you should hold back just because you’re concerned you won’t meet a guy, especially since it’s a step forward in your career. Every city has pros and cons for meeting guys. I met DH in NYC and we still live here. I think NYC is a fantastic city to live in when you’re single and 26 and open to meeting new people.
Dutchfan
Wow thanks for all of the very insightful replies! I think I’m partly worried that I would move there because everyone says how amazing it is and I have quite a number of friends there (10 good friends) who are obviously begging me to go because they live there. I don’t want to fall into the “nyc is amazing” hype, and I don’t think I am.
Anyway, like I said, my city sucks for dating, too. And given my field of work (law), I don’t really know what other types of cities wouldn’t suck for dating in similar aspects to NYC (i.e. Boston I would imagine would be similar).
Former NYCer- where did you friends move to? Where did you move to?
Former NYCer
My friends have gone:
(1) back to graduate school (all over)
(2) to California (Bay area/LA)
(3) back to their hometowns (all over)
I would say about 75% of them have found BFs/gotten married since leaving NYC.
I think a lot of dating success in NYC has to do with your personality. Because work is sooo intense in NY, it’s hard to commit to dating unless you have super energy and are extremely extroverted (as in extroverted even when you’re exhausted from a work week). I’m outgoing-ish, but just not enough.
I moved to Houston, and have had much better luck here (though not at the seriously committed level yet).
AIMS
I think dating can be hard, period. I don’t think NY is worse than any other place. There are millions of men here, so actually it may be better!
Plus, I think working in NY can provide you with other great career opportunities elsewhere (as the song goes, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere), so even if you don’t stay, it’s not a wrong step, per se.
FWIW, I have lived here most of my life and have not had (knock on wood) any trouble meeting men I could be in serious relationships with, and, in fact, I am in a great, fulfilling, serious relationship with a fabulous, handsome fellow New Yorker now. I also have several friends who came here for law school and who all found their SOs here in the process. I don’t think there is anything inherent to NYC that makes dating harder unless you consider the fact that there are more people here and thus more temptation to stay single. But the logical inverse of that would be that if it’s not temptation to stay single, it’s the lack of other options, which doesn’t exactly sound like an appealing alternative to me, personally. Obviously, you can totally not meet someone or meet someone while travelling through Ohio or whatever, but I wouldn’t let anything like “dating is hard in NYC” discourage you from moving. Seriously, it’s a good job & you’re young. Go for it.
Alaina
Having lived in NYC and Southern California, I thought dating in NYC was a blast! There’s no shortage of fun things to do, and you never know when you’ll meet someone great. I met my boyfriend of 2.5 years in a bar in NYC!
Anne-on
Just my .2, everyone I know that has an S.O. that they met in NY met that person either through friends, work, or graduate school (not so much the bar scene). My girlfriends who are still single and have a hard time meeting people tend to work in very feminine type industries without a lot of male coworkers/friends (PR for a cosmetics firm, retail at a large luxury jewelry chain, fashion, etc.). So, if you know you’re in an industry where you’re unlikely to meet single men, you may just have to be ok with dating online, participating in a sports league, or something else along those lines.
Fiona
I am going to throw in the unsolicited advice that New York is really, really expensive. More expensive than it seems on paper. Apartments are expensive, groceries are expensive, and the taxes… oh the taxes (on top of federal, high state income tax AND New York City income tax. When I was living there and working in Biglaw, 42% of my income went straight to taxes).
That said, I loved living in New York. So many fun things to do, good restaurants, interesting places to just go walk around. In my opinion, it’s the best city in the world, and you might as well live there when you’re 26 and single and getting a career boost.
(And more unsolicited advice: don’t put pressure on yourself to meet a guy you want to marry by 30. I met my S.O. in my early/mid-30s and he’s the best. I wouldn’t trade him for any of the boys I met in my 20s.)
Backgrounder
Agree on the taxes….please make sure you pay your CITY tax if you are in Manhattan. I was totally unaware and ended up paying a cr*pload of back taxes when I moved!! A nice going away present from NYC, if you will :/
Godzilla
That’s true if you live in any of the 5 boros, not just in Manhattan.
Moving to date
When I was just a year or two older than you are, I seriously considered moving TO New York to improve my dating situation. I live in a southern California suburb and was not meeting any Jewish men (my demographic). I figured it would be better in NYC. Eventually, the prospect of taking another bar exam and leaving my father and siblings made me rethink, but I considered it very seriously for about a year.
So, no, I don’t think it is a bad move for you.
Amy H.
A good friend of mine (same demographic) moved from San Francisco back to NYC in order to have better dating opportunities. She has been going out a *lot* more and is much happier. She was about 40 when she moved back, though, so that’s a very different age bracket. And the whole story may well say more about the dating scene in the Bay Area than the dating scene in NY!
Jr. Prof
Yup. I have another friend – same age bracket – considering the same thing. She’s had a hard time finding people to date in SF, and is looking longingly back at NYC. SF, in particular, is brutal for straight, over-acheiving chicks seeking to date men.
anon
Lived in NYC, navigated the highs and the lows of the dating game, eventually met my fiance here (online). There are highs and lows, just like everything else, but NYC is special and worth experiencing as a young professional. It will be harder to move here in 5-10 years when more of your peers are settled. Go. If you have the right attitude and are ready for adventure, you will not regret it.
SoHo
Definitely go for it! I’m your age and have lived in NYC since graduating from college. There are other cities I think are great, but New York is really special and lots of fun for the young and single (harder to raise a family, but that’s a different story…)
The dating scene can be tough, and I was single for my first 2-3 years and dated sporadically… then I met an unbelievably amazing guy at work and we’ve been together 3 years (and still work together). You just need one! I have a few wonderful guy friends in NYC who are looking to settle down, so they’re out there. My girlfriends have had some luck on dating sites. I think one thing to consider is if you’re willing to date a bit older… maybe 3-7 years. One thing about NYC is that it seems that guys want to do the single thing for longer, but if you’re willing to date guys in their early 30s, I think a lot of them are looking to settle down.
Congrats on the offer and good luck with whatever decision you make!
eh230
Ladies, what is “holiday dress” and “holiday casual”? The legal division of the large company that I work for is hosting a holiday party in a ballroom at a swanky hotel. Initially I thought cocktail attire, but the “holiday dress” and “holiday casual” dresscodes are throwing me for a loop.
zora
ugh, I hate this new trend of *making up* dress code terms!! i wish it would stop.
I don’t have any good advice for you. Frankly, when I hear ‘holiday casual’ i picture suburban middle-aged women in christmas sweaters with sequins and sparkles all over them over long black skirts.
Amy H.
Since the party is in the ballroom of a swanky hotel, I’d go with cocktail attire. Perhaps the party committee put “holiday dress” on there just for the one guy in Accounting who always wears a reindeer sweater no matter what the dress code?
anon
which is it? holiday dress, i would wear a skirt/dress or some outfit that says “evening” (shiny, bigger jewelry, etc). holiday casual, to me means jeans with some festive top.
frankly the “holiday” part sounds like “wear a reindeer sweater” so i could just ignore that and either go dressy, or go casual, and let your big smile be the holiday part.
Dutchfan
Also, if I’m not SOOO in love with NYC, will it eventually wear me down? Do only the super passionate survive there?
Nancy P
It may wear you down — but then you can leave! You may also find that you like it even more.
sadie
The super-passionate may survive better, but there are plenty of us who ended up in New York almost by accident and just live here, like normal people, without being gung ho about how it’s the greatest city in the world etc. I never really intended to live in NYC, but have now been here for a long time!
sadie
I should clarify that we live here, like normal people, but in very small apartments :)
Backgrounder
I agree…I never planned to move to NYC but ended up doing so after a job opportunity presented itself. And, in this economy, I wasn’t turning down an offer!
Although, admittedly, I was one of those people who said I would NEVER move to NYC…the whole thing eventually wore me down (the grind, the expenses, living in an overpriced apartment even in Harlem, etc.) After about a year and a half, I ended up transferring to Chicago (which I love – although I’m trying to move back to DC – long story!!)
But it sounds, dutchfan, that you have a friend base there, would have a great job, are young…I say do it! At minimum do it just to have the experience. I think everyone should live in NYC once in their life.
Sidenote: Of my friends who lived in NYC (Manhattan primarily) and were in a serious relationship – most met their SO through online dating (JDate), met before moving to the city, or had met in school at some point. Sort of anecdotal but my experience. I, personally, had no luck in that department during my short stint in the city! Good luck!
MeliaraofTlanth
No. And you may turn out to love it. I had no intention of moving to New York. I moved here because I loved the law school I attended. I fully intended to move to DC after law school. I hated New York for the first six months or so. I now have absolutely no desire to ever leave again (though a bigger closet would be nice) (And after living in DC briefly, turns out I really do hate that city)
SoCal Gator
I have a similarly cut Boss suit in a dark almost black navy that I got at the Anniversary Sale. It is just gorgeous! A real “power suit” that makes you feel good when you wear it. I would love this one too but it’s not in the budget and I already have a black Lafayette 148 suit.
So what top or blouse do you wear with an all black suit that is not entirely boring but which is conservative enough to wear to court? I wore my black Lafayette yesterday to court with a mauve pinstripe fitted cotton shirt from Banana Republic but felt there must be other more interesting alternatives. Any suggestions?
anon
i’m not a lawyer so i never go to court … so, grain of salt.
interesting ways to dress up black suits:
– colored camisole
– patterned button-down
– interesting scarf or necklace
– or a combo, e.g. camisole + necklace. etc.
meme
I’m looking for a new wallet, $100 or so, leather, durable, pretty, large enough to tuck checkbook inside but not giant. Anyone care to share your favorites?
Chris
I have one from Marc by Marc Jacobs. It may have cost more than $100, but I love it. It has a zipped section for coins and space for 9 credit cards.
AIMS
Slightly above price range, though you can hunt for a sale at about $60. Icon. Truly unusual. Compliments daily. And I love my wallet (‘continental,’ purchased at $58 on sale).
Amy H.
I don’t own one, but have been coveting a Lodis “Checkbook Clutch” wallet ever since several Corporettes posted about it a few months back! $94 at N*rdstrom.
zelda
i like kate spade wallets, which are often on sale!
N
Threadjack: I’ve been wanting to give to various charities, and am now pondering how to start?
I am very fortunate, I have a great job with a great pay, live in a great place close by family, and my student and car loans are more than manageable. I finished grad school three years ago.
My work place does this thing where they’re “giving” each employee a certain amount of money as Christmas present, and you can then divide it up so that it goes to various charities that the company has selected. I like this – and I would like to take it with me to my personal financial life.
I would also like it to go a bit beyond the current crisis in the media.
For those of you who give regularly to charity – how did you decide which charities to support? Any other thoughts?
I am not in the US, so I am looking for the thought-process behind it, not necessarily just the name of the charities. Thanks in advance.
Sutemi
I like local charities where I can see the value added. The past couple years we’ve focused on sustainable food/hunger issues, both the large local food bank and a smaller farmer association. We have personal connections to the smaller charity and have given some time as well as money.
Take some time to think about what your community needs and what issues matter to you. I would rather give larger amounts to a couple charities than to spread smaller amounts to lots but both are fine options.
MelD
We have a campaign through our work. I donated to local charities- one program I volunteer with and another program I know provides a valuable service to women and children in the community.
Philanthropy
ARGH. See my comment in the regular thread below. Sorry.
Sweetknee
We did something fun one year. We used to be regular tithers at church, but were not attending regularly. We put our 10% ( you don’t have to pick 10%, but we did) in a separate account each month. At the end of the year, we picked three charities to give to. We picked one local charity ( our local food bank), one national chairty ( St. Jude), and one international charity ( Doctors without Borders) . WE picked those because they all addressed issues dear to our hearts. . children, the hungry, and the sick and infirm. IT felt really good to write three big checks rather than several throughout the year, and the charities were really happy to have a large donation.
The next year, we did the same thing, but allowed our kids to pick one of the charities, since they were older. They picked our local ROnald McDonald house.
Just my .02, but it worked well for us.
Kady
It’s taken me many years to figure out my giving, but this is basically how I break it down. Over a year, I will give between 10-15% of my salary. About 1/2 of my giving goes to the things I either personally care about (environment) or things I use and benefit from myself (the ballet, NPR, alumni funds, PTO). 1/4 is reserved for the “media crisis of the day” (Japan this year), and the last 1/4 is reserved for what I think of as the big-picture pressing need of the moment (since the recession, this has been for the local food banks, but I’ve also supported AIDS/Cancer research and UNICEF in the past).
I always spent time researching charities, and look for low administrative costs. I tend to give a single large sum to one organization rather than lots of small amounts to many organizations, party b/c this syncs with the way I research the charities, for ease of record-keeping and because I’m lazy.
Lynnet
This is most similar to how I categorize my charitable giving, although my percentages are different. With a large majority going to the cause I care the most about (Heifer Foundation) in one lump sum, and the rest going out in $10 or $20 increments throughout the year. I also give to panhandlers enough that if I added it up it might equal my donations in some of the other categories.
nev
My thought process:
1. Consider my values. What’s important to me? What do I want the world to look like?
2. How much am I going to spend? (Many religions have a guideline. What’s *my* guideline?)
3. Then – allocate to categories. For me, based on my values, that’s something like
– Church
– Organizations that serve the homeless in my neighborhood and advocate for good housing policy (I don’t give to people on the street so I make sure to give a big chunk to organizations that do help these people.)
– The arts in my city (my public radio membership falls in this category)
– Orgs that provide health care – Planned Parenthood, Doctors without Borders, the Luke Society
– Then I give somewhat smaller amounts to my “pet causes,” issue-based orgs, like Lambda Legal and smaller community non-profits
– if I still have money to give I’ll give to orgs doing long-term community development/poverty relief abroad.
There are good arguments against “charity work” in developing countries – in that it can destroy local economies, overwhelm an area with a sudden influx of foreign goods, and prevent long-term economic recovery. I know not everyone sees it that way, but that’s why I focus on “taking care of my own (neighborhood/city)” first.
A few more points:
1. Give to organizations that have good reputations/management. CharityNavigator is one organization that rates charities, although I don’t know if it’s only a U.S. thing.
2. Many people consider “low administrative costs” an important factor in rating a charity. I’m not so sure. Orgs that have good planning, pay their employees living wages, and have good long-term distribution plans often have high administrative costs, but it means their work is more effective. (Not always, but often.)
Anyway, that’s how I do it.
Jas
I personally contribute to two charities: a local environmental one and an international water rights one. Personally, I thought of which causes I was most passionate about (environment, water rights) and then looked for charities for those causes. Most charities should have a breakdown of their spending available on their website. Look for ones for which a high proportion of money goes to the actual cause, not fundraising or administration, and avoid ones that don’t disclose this information. For the environmental charities, I read their press releases and official statements on all topics that I could find so that I wouldn’t inadvertantly donate to a charity that say, had political views I disagree with. The international charity is actually founded by a former professor of mine with a personal connection to the area and the cause. I think I chose it for my personal connection with him and since several of my friends volunteer for it. With international charities, I found it useful to google the heck out of it. Some international charities have a reputation for being out of touch with the people they’re trying to help and I avoided any where I found stories talking about that.
Jas
Oh, and for your personal donating, I’ve heard that charities prefer you do pledge to donate a set smaller amount each month than to donate a large amount once a year. That allows them to budget better and avoid a feast-or-famine situation when it comes to funding.
Kanye East
I give to GLAAD in the name of the biggest homophobe in my office. It makes me happy.
AEK
love it.
JJ
Every time you comment, KE, I like you more. That is brilliant.
cfm
This is actually horrifying. Imagine if someone donated in your name to something you were against. Totally sneaky, and Kayne I have lost a lot of respect for you.
I have participated in many parades, rallies, speeches, and contributed to support the gay (human) cause as a close relative of someone who has suffered from ignorant people. How much of a hypocrite would I be if I undermined people who believed in something different. If you found out that the homophobe donated in your name to an organization that promoted only man-woman marriages, you would be upset and shocked. What gives you the right to do the same?
a
My God, that’s horrifying. I say that as a completely pro-gay marriage true blue liberal. CFM, thank you for being the apparent only voice of any ethics here, and Kanye – wow.
SoHo
Second that!
SoHo
Just to be clear, I was replying to JJ… you’re awesome KE!
conbrio
Ha – that rocks. Thank you!
Nonny
Kanye, you are amazing.
CC
Not to get all snarky but can anyone see that info do they publish donors? I am so pro equality but that is an awful thing to do if you use his actual name and its available publicly. Imagine if he gave in your name to a cause you were against.
Anon 3
Agreed.
LMo
Having had my previous employer donate in my name without my knowledge or permission, the answer is sometimes horrifyingly yes.
Sydney Bristow
Kante, that is awesome
My family decided to “adopt a family this year” instead of giving each other presents. I realized today that we are doing it through the Salvation Army and it’s too far into the process to change. I just feel a little weird now because of their homophobic ways. I’m trying to focus on the fact that this family will be getting a much-needed Christmas. I wish that we had gone through a different organization though. Does anyone have any recommendations for other organizations that do this in case we decide to do it again next year?
Sydney Bristow
*Kanye (fat fingers today!)
NDR
My husband and I sat down and identified a couple of issues that resonated the most with us (literacy/education and inner city “food deserts”/childhood nutrition), then we looked for the organizations that addressed these most closely, with the least overhead as possible. Like Sutemi, I like local charities whose community contribution is pretty easy for me to audit (for lack of a better word).
I think how an organization aligns with your values and how they plan to spend your money (does it go towards the cause or towards operating budget) are probably the two most important factors in selecting one to support.
Ru
Engineers Without Borders – the less known non-affiliated sibling of Doctors Without Borders (although that may have changed). Seriously, it’s a great group doing great work and a lot of your alma maters may have their own chapters that are struggling financially. There is a USA and International chapter as well.
Bunkster
I like charities for kids, libraries and Globe Santa at Christmas time. I donate to Globe Santa in my grandmother’s name.
And, like Kady, I also donate to whatever the “media crisis” is. The tsunami, Kristina, etc.
Oh, and a couple of years ago, I donated to Planned Parenthood in Sarah Palin’s name. There was a whole push to do that and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
beccavt
I should be way more organized when it comes to giving to libraries as they are something I really care about – but instead I let my “charity” coalesce with my laziness and I just never keep track of due dates and wrack up late fees. I happily pay them and feel like I am “donating” to the library.
Lynnet
Just so you know, I used to do this and then I found out that late fees actually go into the City’s general budget?!?! And I’d just been “donating” to the city government all along. So you might want to check on where the funds go in your city. There was actually a notable difference in my returning books on time when I found that out, which I wouldn’t have expected.
Also in Academia
I asked my librarian this, and she said, “It goes into our salary line, so honey, be late all you want!” Awesome.
coco
As someone who works in non-profit, I’m not sure I agree with the low administrative costs – I would certainly prefer a larger salary, as would most of my low-level peers, and it might stop some of us from jumping ship to the corporate world because we aren’t making a livable wage. Rather, I would ask if the administrative costs made sense within the overall scheme of the organization – some organizations just need to spend more on certain expenses than others because of the nature of the work they are doing. In addition, putting restrictions on your gift just causes more trouble for the organization – why can’t your money be used to fund the job of a great CFO who will make sure the organization uses its overall budget most effectively? Even if you aren’t directly funding the work, you are making the work possible, which is far more important in my opinion.
There are certainly badly run organizations out there, and many could become more cost-effective, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t doing great work as efficiently as they can with the budget allowed.
ANP
+1
zora
+1
Looking for Bunkster's Bark
+3 Seriously, wouldn’t you think twice about investing in a for-profit that delivered a great service but skimped on resourcing the infrastructure, staff, r&d – everything that led to the great service? Non-profits need to fund “overhead” too.
LMo
Recommended reading related to the subject:
I recently read “The Road to Hell” by Michael Maren. It is about the negative effects of international aid, but on a larger level than that it really made me think about where my money is going when I donate, and explains the methodology by which charities can inflate or deflate their administrative cost reporting. Very interesting and highly recommended.
gov anon
Hmm. When I think about it, most of the charities we give to are local/semi-local (though one does international work), that support causes that resonate with our values, and that we tend to know at least some of the people involved with. So it’s a couple of arts organization that we know board members of the, the local library where we also know some board members, a local school, a medical charity my aunt is involved with, and the local public radio station. We less regularly give to orgs like Salvation Army or the Red Cross, though we do occasionally support theses as well.
mamabear
Hey ‘rettes –
I bought this jacket at lunch (in green)
http://tinyurl.com/6rn2fbs
to keep in my freezing office.
It’s cute. I had really good waist shaping – not boxy at all – and is more true to size than Talbot’s has been in the past. At 40% off the sale price it came to $70-something.
kmm
I bought this last year and love it!
Philanthropy
I give to a few well-known organizations that are well-established (have been doing what they do for decades), do it well (they have stats to show what they have done with the money), have low overhead (most charities publish how much they spend on administrative expenses), and are very specific in their missions. I do not give to orgns. who are intermediaries who primarily exist to fund other organizations (since every layer adds to the cost of the organization and takes away funds), have too diverse a mission (since I think specializing in one area and doing it well is more important), or have had any recent scandals (which may mean their Board is not doing due diligence). FWIW, my list of large orgs includes Doctors without Borders, Partners in Health, and Habitat for Humanity. I also have a couple of local ones. Note: I realize Habitat had a scandal re: sexual harassment of the founder, but I believe they do good work and have a good track record overall.
Parched
Do any of you have winter moisturizers you would recommend that don’t clog pores easily? As it gets colder the skin on my forehead is looking cracked and tired – I probably should get something stronger than my current Burt’s Bees.
Kanye East
When your skin is dry–or I should maybe say I find when my skin is dry–gentle exfoliating is just as important as moisturizer.
I live in a very arid climate that my skin is, after several years, still not accustomed to. I use a Clarisonic brush twice daily with exfoliating cleansers by Eminence or Arcona, plain old organic jojoba oil as a moisturizer (it absorbs quickly, it doesn’t clog pores, and it’s inexpensive), and Bobbi Brown’s tinted moisturizing balm during the day as a foundation.
beccavt
Kanye – from your etsy store, I think we live in the same arid climate. I’m a lifelong desert dweller though, and I kind of forget that it’s so dry and my skin is totally used to it. Every time I visit somewhere humid my skin goes totally berserk and I have to completely stop moisturizing. When I’m home and in my natural environment, I just use a plain jergen’s face moisturizer and my foundation is a tinted moisturizer – and I mostly use both for the SPF (my skin has not similarly adapted to the high elevation – no matter what time of year it is, my face can burn in approximately 15-20 minutes if I’m not watching out).
Kanye East
High-altitude sun is brutal! Between that and the dryness, I’m preoccupied with premature aging like I never was when I lived at humid sea level.
Also, to every allergy doctor who told me to move west for the sake of my sinuses? Liars!
Rose in Bloom
I really like Cetaphil’s moisturizing cream. I started using it a month or so ago when the winter dryness kicked in, and I haven’t had any pore issues.
Dutchfan
Vichy aqual something or other. Super moisturizing and doesn’t clog pores. Trust me- I have had bad skin my whole life.
meme
Second Cetaphil. I live in a very dry climate and when my face started getting scaly and flaky even after my normal moisturizer recently I started slathering on the Cetaphil cream. It has really helped and I’ve had no breakouts. I should add though that I always have had dry skin and have never really had clogged pore issues.
Backgrounder
Third Cetaphil. Particularly the Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream
Jas
Jojoba oil at night and Lush’s Celestial moisturizer in the morning seems to be working well for me. Also, when my skin is getting dry, the only thing that really, actually helps me seems to be drinking more water. I put my 1L waterbottle on my desk at work and make myself drink the whole thing twice in a day.
karenpadi
A humidifier. It’ll work wonders and I think my cheapo-Target version was like $20–about two bottles of lotion.
Plus, it helps regulate how warm my office feels so I’m not running the space heater anymore which usually caused even more drying.
Anonymous
Aveda tourmaline cream. It keeps me hydrated all day, and extra bonus it is organic! I love it, and a little goes a long way — I have had my jar for two months and I am not yet a quarter of the way through (though, I only apply that one in the morning, I have a night cream that I apply at night).
C.
LUSH. I’m devoted to their Skin’s Shangri-La as a cold-weather moisturizer, and I recently got hooked on their Full of Grace serum bar, which I use on an as-needed basis as a heavy-duty overnight moisturizer, a post-spot scar treatment, and an underlayer for their Fresh Face Masks. (I’ve found Oatfix and BB Seaweed to be particularly moisturizing, and I like Brazened Honey for when my skin is looking tired.)
Sorry to spaz out on you about moisturizers–I’m just really into Lush skincare. (And haircare!)
AIMS
There are so many places that need your help that, for me at least, it can get very overwhelming, fast.
I don’t donate as much as I would like, but for what I do my thinking goes into 2 basic categories — where I can make the most difference and things I really care about. For the latter, I have a serious soft spot for animals because they are helpless to help themselves, so I give money to animal charities, namely my local ASPCA and another local shelter. I find that I prefer to give to smaller local organizations because it can make much more of a difference in their work (and whether they are even able to continue to provide their services). For the former, I like to give small amounts to organizations that provide concrete services for the donation, such as organizations that provide holiday meals for the elderly/housebound. At least here, those groups usually tell you what your contribution is buying (e.g., meal for 1 family, etc.).
This is not quite the same, but I also look to buy things that I need anyway from vendors that contribute to a cause. For instance, when I was last in the market for an ipod, I got the red nano b/c a % of the cost went to charity. When I buy dish soap, I look for the Dawn Wildlife that gives a $1 to wildlife charities for each bottle I buy (but fyi, read the fine print! Dawn only donates if you enter the bottle code on their website).
meara
Argh. I have an interview tomorrow for a position I’m not entirely sure I want (though hope to figure that out during some of the interview!). That part’s good–the job might be awesome, and would have some definite plusses (but a few minuses) if I get offered it and accept! The bad? I just tried on all my suits and none of the pants/skirts fit! I pretty much never have to wear a suit for my current position (I have some sheath dresses+blazers I’ve worn the few times I need to be dressier than business casual), but I’ve gained 20 pounds since my last suit-wearing occasion! I hate to spend the money but I guess I have to run out and buy something tonight that fits. I really hope this interview/job is awesome and worth it.
Circe
It’ll be good to have a suit that fits no matter what. Good luck!
meara
Thanks! Ended up at Nordstrom’s spending more than I wanted, but it looks good. …and then since I was in the mall anyway I picked up a cute knit blazer for $5 off a sale rack. Now to hope the interview goes well! :)
mamabear
Shoot, I’m still in moderation.
I posted earlier that I bought the Talbots Kate Fit Shetland Jacket and it’s cute – waist shaping, relatively true to size (smaller than Talbots in the past) and nice and warm for my freezing office.
Joe Bob says check ‘er out.
Unsub
Kat – you are CRAZY, but love, love, love the suit. Hugo Boss fits so well. Bear in mind that the pants are unlined and many of the ‘Rettes hate that.
Anonymous
But many of us don’t… to each her own.
anon
Threadjack: was just browsing through the makeup/competent thread and was wondering, for those of you who are acne-scarred like I am, what products (skincare and makeup) do you swear by?
I have found that Clinique’s Even Better Dark Spot Corrector has made some in-roads on my face, but I just feel like I am too old to look this way!
Anon
As a twenty-something who didn’t get really bad acne until after college, I’m only now starting to get rid of it and horrified by the scars I see on my face. I’ve been getting weekly facials to alleviate the pimples and blemishes I have. Once those are gone, I plan on having a few rounds of microdermabrasion. I also am in the process of looking for a good dermatologist to get a chemical peel. This may all sound excessive but having amazing skin all through my teen years and now not even being able to put on foundation because my skin is so dry and flaky has got me desperate.
I’ve heard the women on here rave about Retin-A and will probably go that route at some point but the purging/peeling phase leaves me hesitant.
You should repost this in the morning thread for more replies. Good luck!
Rural Juror
I have an office Christmas party coming up, and I’ve decided to wear a dress I already own in an effort to save money. The Christmas party will involve a sit down dinner followed by dancing. My options are as follows:
1. a dress that is stretchy fabric, so while it is very comfortable, it is also very tight. It’s not scandalously cut or anything, so I am more worried about lumps/bumps showing than the dress being too skanky for a work party. after a big meal I will have a noticeable belly.
2. a strapless dress with boning. while this looks classy, doesn’t look too tight and won’t show a food baby, it is sort of restrictive when I sit down. I wore this to a wedding once and felt like I couldn’t breathe properly in it because of the boning. I may or may not have over-eaten at that wedding, not sure.
Thoughts anyone? Looking classy vs. being comfortable… dilemma.
anon
can you wear the stretchy dress, and throw a wrap/scarf/little sweater over it to hide any lumps/bumps? comfortable, warm, forgiving!
LawyrChk
Go with dress #1 and buy a good pair of Spanx to go under it.
Anonymous
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