ByKat Hours Updated
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Coffee Break: Color-block Leather Tote

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The Row Color-block Leather ToteI kind of love everything The Row is doing — they specialize in great basics, but everything just seems modern, fresh, clean, and super lux. Of course, you pay for that (this tote is $3,150) but I like the smart interior partitions, as well as the colorblocking and single handle. The Row Color-block Leather Tote (L-2)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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127 Comments

  1. Sorry for immediate TJ – my fiancé has an interview at a tech company in Boston tomorrow. There’s always that whole thing of “should you wear a suit to a tech interview,” but since we’re on the stuffy East Coast, he was thinking it would be okay or preferable to wear it. What do you ladies think? The company is relatively “trendy,” but it’s Google or Facebook or one of the big ones. TIA!

      1. Tell him to wear the suit. You can never go wrong with a suit. If he wanted to be a little more playful, he could go with a bolder tie or shirt.

        It’s still Boston.

    2. Is the interview in the seaport/”innovation” district or Kendall Square? If not, then definitely a suit. Friends around here that work for software companies will expect a suit even though they might be casual. My software firm isn’t as “hip” as Fb/Goog. We’re biz casual and suits are a must for interviews here.

      1. It’s in Kendall Square. I think he was at this company once before for a conference, but didn’t know which people there were actually employees or not. I doubt they were wearing suits then anyway.

        1. Yes, I would recommend a suit even in Kendall Square/Seaport. That will likely be the only time he ever wears anything beyond jeans/business casual, but suits are still fine for the interview itself.

  2. Are you shi!tting me??? That is more than I make in a month for that bag.

      1. You know what, though? I got a white satchel from Banana Republic almost a year ago and I swear it hasn’t gotten noticeably dirty. Maybe a little bit on the bottom where it occasionally gets put on the floor, but generally keeping it clean hasn’t been a problem at all. Which I find kind of surprising.

        But yeah, at that price this one should include somebody coming to your house once a month to clean it.

        2. I have a knee length white down coat (Gap, totally got it on awesome sale about 3 or 4 years ago, but may get retired after this epic winter) and while it gets washed by the end of every season, it really isn’t noticeably dirty – more like dingy around the hem and cuffs. So go white!

    2. I seriously doubt many women on here would buy a bag at this price. I know a lot of commenters make a ton of money, but still, some of Kat’s choices seem so extravagant. I rarely see commenters saying “just bought this!” whenever there’s a more frivolous item like a white purse at $1000 or more.

      1. But is the point for everything on here to be purchased? I hardly ever buy anything that Kat features and I spend way too much time on this site to justify it if shopping is even remotely the main goal.

        Also, if I understand the way this site makes money, Kat typically gets a percentage or commission from the featured items purchased through this site, so if she is not worried about making every item get purchased by a ton (or any) of her readers, I wouldn’t worry too much about it either. And, if you anyone is really firm about each item being affordable, I am sure if you just post a comment along the lines of “has anyone seen something similar in the $x range,” you will get plenty of responses from all the vicarious shoppers out here.

        1. Is that actually how this site makes money? I assumed she made money from the ads, but I guess I’ve never noticed if she had the FTC disclaimers about affiliate links. I’m more used to bloggers saying “this is a sponsored post!” or “If you purchase an item through an affiliate link, a percentage of the sale will go to the author” or something.

          Where’s the disclaimer on this site? I just did a quick check of the legalese in the terms of use, but didn’t really see anything like what I see on other blogs.

          2. Click on the L-(whatever number) link at the bottom of posts. There’s a long explanation/disclosure.

      2. There are other blogs about affordable, fashionable clothing. “Great clothes for less” has never been the theme of this blog.

        Personally, I would never buy a $3,000 bag, no matter how much money I made. But I certainly like looking at pictures of them on the internet!

      3. I think it’s fun to see pretty clothes/shoes/accessories! Even if they’re not realistic

      4. I view Kat’s picks the same way I view my copy of the Bible- loose interpretation, not literal interpretation.

        I don’t take it to mean: if I like this, I have to buy THIS specific bag. Rather, it just means, if I like it, yeah, I guess I like color-blocking on bags and will probably pick one up from Target if they have something with a similar concept.

      5. I may buy a $3,000 bag but it would never be this one. I think it’s ugly and as talented as Mary Kate and Ashley are I don’t really love most of their line and especially dislike their handbags. If I’m dropping that much on a bag, it’s going to be a brand with a long history that will remain classic.

        1. When I was in law school, I went to KMart and ran into the MK & A line they had there then (early 90s). Now, somehow I can’t afford them (or I can, but I have enough Big Girl bills to feel like, nah, let’s put this $ into paying off the mortgage or something else practical but not awesome). This bag isn’t me, but I did see another 3K one that I drooled over. And I have to say, for former child stars, they have raised the bar for their post-Full House lives. Even if you hate the stuff, it’s not like they’re Leif Garrett or Lindsay Lohan. I wonder if they ever read this (in a way, they fit the description, but they are way, way, way beyond where most of will ever get).

          Signed,
          BigLaw partner who started her own (much, much smaller) business

          1. All of you ladies have made a great point. Most of the items posted on this site, (I love the site so don’t get me wrong) whether its Splurge Mondays or even Frugal Fridays, are sort of expensive. Some of the items are so much more than what any middle or upper middle income Americans are willing to spend. I assume that its just for inspiration….sort of like this is what looks good but go out and find something similar that you can afford.

            However, I wish this site provided more truly affordable options. I know a majority of the people here make good money but we all have school loans and some of us have family to support. You can make 6-figures, which is almost double what most Americans make, but it doesn’t mean that we want to spend tons of money on luxury items either. I think we are all lucky and have been blessed with a career (not a job) but a career because we got to go to college and get an education. I think a lot of young women look up to us and therefore, we should set good examples. Spending our hard earned cash on shoes and a purse? Yes, every now and then…we need to reward ourselves afterall. However, I think we owe it to the younger folks to set good examples by showing them that self worth is more than luxury items. That an intern making a couple hundred a week shouldn’t feel pressured to drop $1000 on Louboutins or a $3000 purse. We need to move away from so much materialistic ideals.

      6. i think its fabulous. and i just dont get why people complain when there are expensive pieces on this site. there are lots of items in lots of price ranges. some of them i like and some i dont. totally like hearing about whether people like or dislike items and why, but why say something is too expensive? just because its too expensive for you doesnt mean its too expensive for others.

        1. Yes but what isn’t expensive for you might be expensive for me. You said that you’d rather hear people’s opinions about whether or not they like a piece so my opinion is “I don’t like this piece because its too expensive.”

  3. That is a lovely bag. Although it is very expensive, for sure. Even more than my attorney’s bill for January!

    Speaking of which, gah. Went to court yesterday for a second (continued at Mr. SA’s request) trial-setting conference in my divorce action, and it was continued again for another three months. (Not included on the January bill, which is why said bill was less than that cute purse.)

    So. incredibly. frustrating. I feel like I am living my life in the spaces between court dates. And I am still just completely gobsmacked that we are litigating this thing at all, given that there are no financial secrets on either side and no real dispute about how the case should end up. I guess he is just not finished torturing me yet.

    Ugh, ugh, ugh.

    And yes, I know it’s all my own fault for having married him in the first place, for having stayed as long as I did, and for all the other reasons various anons will be eager to point out. So noted.

    1. Forgive me, because I don’t know anything about family law, but why is this getting dragged out so much? Is it just at your ex’s option? Just a reflection of the court system in your state?

      I don’t have any real practical advice for dealing with a divorce, having never been married, but is there anything your attorney could do to try to move the process along? Otherwise, I’d say your frustration with the legal process might be a topic for Dr. Shrink. At any rate, this too shall pass, even if it doesn’t seem like it right now. Hang in there.

      1. Thanks, January! Believe me, Dr. Shrink is well acquainted with my fristration with the legal process! LOL

        Actually the judge would have set it for trial yesterday if we’d asked, but honestly I don’t wasnt that — I want it to settle. And for various reasons my attorney and I both concluded that was most likely to happen if we agreed to one last continuance. And yes, it’s Mr. S.A. dragging his feet, largely because he is sitting pretty in the former marital residence paying that nice low mortgage, which is going to go away as soon as the case is over.

        I know there’s nothing to do but hang in. I do trust my lawyer and generally I am working very hard at staying positive. But man, I never dreamed it would actually drag on this long.

        Usually when I get divorced it’s much more civilized. ;)

        1. Ha! Love that attitude about it usually being more civilized :) Sorry this is dragging. That’s so frustrating, especially when you think there is a chance at settlement.

          I feel your pain. My DH filed for a change in custody between Christmas and New Year’s. The papers weren’t served until the second week of January, the scheduling conference isn’t until the end of February, and we don’t expect a trial date until April or May, possibly June. Unfortunately no chance of settlement or mediation this time.

          1. On a non-related note, what exactly does DH stand for? I’m following enough comments (hugs to senior attny!) to follow, just curious as to where the term came from.

    2. So sorry you’re going through this. My ex didn’t cause any problems at all in my divorce, but my attorney totally dragged his feet. He was helping friends with Katrina-related cases and couldn’t seem to get on my divorce. In retrospect, I looked at the timeline and I think I was just REALLY anxious to get it done as soon as the 6 month separation was up, as was my ex. The whole thing sucks even under the best of circumstances. And yeah, hindsight is 20/20, isn’t it? My current SO never hesitates to remind me that he told me I shouldn’t marry the guy.

      1. War Story:

        One time I tried a civil case in which (pre-OJ) Johnnie Cochran was the star witness for my client. On cross-examination, he was asked why he didn’t do XYZ thing instead of ABC thing. His response?

        “Hindsight, counsel, is always 20/20.”

        Heh. Judgment for my client for seven figures.

        /War Story

        1. There are still times when I find myself saying “if it doesn’t fit, you must acquit”.

    3. UGH! I’m so sorry this is such a headache. Mr STBX totally sucks and needs a smack upside the head! Hugs and RAWRRSSS!!!

    4. I’m sorry that you’re going through this, SA. In my experience (former divorce attorney, though in a different state), cases like this (where there are no real issues and one person’s just dragging) are usually resolvable in mediation, and judges will always order it if asked unless there’s some incredibly good reason not to (I’ve never seen one – judges love mediation). I’m sure it’s been considered already, but just in case it hasn’t, you should definitely discuss it with your attorney.

      1. Lyssa, that’s why I agreed to continue the trial setting conference — because we were ordered to mediation between now and then. We were actually ordered to do it between the last TSC and this one, but Mr. S.A. couldn’t fit it into his busy schedule. *giant rolleyes*

    5. You are so sensitive SA! You get so much support. You get called out one time (and they weren’t all anon if I remember correctly) and you throw a fit the next day and now need to throw in another line about being picked on? 100% of the commentors feel for your situation- some just took issue with the way you framed a divorce in gender terms when it really had nothing to do with gender, just who is the high earner.

      That said I’m sorry its been dragged out, and I hope you can focus on the many lovely words of support you’ve received.

      1. cc, I’ve been on this site to know that you are one of the most consistently negative posters ever. The only one worse than you was that “pan da” (in allcaps).

        You hate on people who offer support and call them insincere.
        You hate on people who say wine and cookies as if that were so horrible.
        You try to play gotcha with facts that you aren’t sure of.
        You hate on people who use smileys (why this should bug you, I have no idea)’ and now,
        You hate on someone for having grievances that are legitimate.
        You are like a ticking time bomb of resentment.

        You just come across as such a bitter pill. Why do you do this?

        1. Oh please this isn’t even a negative post. Everyone has a tendency to remember the bad sometimes over the good. I’m just saying that’s what she is doing- she is taking 1 or 2 slightly negative comments (some weren’t even negative, they were literally just pointing out the weather) and forgetting about the much greater number of positive ones. I don’t resent anyone, and you are really misreading my posts if that’s what youve come away with. I’ve never “hated on” anyone- expressing a difference of opinion is certainly not hating. And I meant my support to SA sincerely, even though she misconstrued it. I don’t know what the gotcha line is about but I think my comment on excess smiley faces was much milder than you are categorizing it as.

      2. Wow. I don’t even know what to do with this post.

        “I hope you can focus on all the positive posters instead of focusing on the posters like me who point out your shortcomings.”

        Uh, thanks.

        I’ll try.

        And yeah, I am sensitive. It’s a sensitive time.

    6. I think I’m way newer to this site than you so pardon if you’ve already said this before….how long were you married to this dude? And no, it’s not all your fault. Who’d seriously say that to you? Sometimes, we see the best of people when we marry– we don’t want to see their bad points, or we don’t realize certain traits are completely incompatible with our own until we live with them for X years. Also, people change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. He chose to be a cruddy husband, so he should get his share of the blame, too.

      As I type this, and think of my friends who’ve divorced… all of them could still point out good traits about their respective exes, the same traits that reeled them in in the first place. I am sure you could do the same of your soon to be ex. I’m just sorry they weren’t enough to offset the nasty aspects of his personality, and I’m sorry you’re going through this. I just hope your divorce will be finalized soon. Good luck!

        1. And, uh, married 14 years. Stayed the last three or so partly because part of me knew it would be just. this. bad. to divorce him. But you know what? Totally worth it just to be able to breathe, you know?

    7. That sucks. My parents had a similar situation with their divorce – my dad dragged it out for months and actually wanted to go to trial. Why, I have no idea. Most likely because he was benefiting financially.

      1. Yep. Generally the “out spouse” (the one who moved out) is anxious to get things moving because he or she (*cough* me *cough*) is paying rent somewhere much less desirable than the Former Marital Residence, while the “in spouse” is sitting pretty in the Former Marital Residence, often (*cough* in this case *cough*) paying a mortgage payment that is far below the rental value of the house or the rent the out spouse is paying elsewhere, so the “in spouse” tries to preserve that status quo for as long as possible.

        Even when that’s a really short-sighted position for somebody who wants to keep the house, because of rising housing costs and interest rates.

        1. This 1000+++. I just ended a 3 year relationship with a man who is never going to move his divorce forward. He’s sitting pretty in the former marital residence; she bought a new house. They’ve been separated since late 2009. I started dating him in late 2010 and despite asking him on our first date if he was getting divorced he.is.still.married.

          1. So sorry to hear that, Anon. Glad you finally figured it out, even though it sucks.

    8. Hug’s to you. It must be TERIBLE to have to deal with divorce and a guy who turned out to be a rotten apple. FOOEY! I guess I am lucky, in this way that I have NOT married b/c all of the guy’s that wanted me seemed to be focused on very short term releationship’s, not comitted one’s and Alan shyed away from any thought of kid’s (tho he certeainly liked the sex part). DOUBEL FOOEY ON GUYS LIKE ALAN who want sex but no comitment!

      As for this bag, Cat, it is to expensive even for the manageing partner to get Margie. He had me return thing’s she bought b/c they were to expensive when Margie did NOT want to take them back. Personaly, I like Coach bag’s for leather, but will NOT pay more then $400 for a bag. My dad make’s me schlep my lit bag back and forth to work anyway, b/c he say’s it build’s character! Can you imageine? FOOEY b/c most of the time it is empty except for my gym stuff (that Frank sometime’s look’s at–fooey on him for lookeing at my gym stuff).

      Myrna is OK goeing to Sam’s. She said he will have another freind over there for her, but I do NOT want to be left alone in a room with Sam, b/c he is getting very sugestive, and in his house he could be weareing the same short’s that he had on when he showed his winkie. FOOEY on that! Sam talked about munchie’s, but I also do NOT want to have to eat Nacho’s and Bean Dip all day b/c I would for sure have to go to the toilet and it would be to noisey for all. I will sugest that he call out for sushi or Italian, which is easier on my digestive system. And who knows what his freind will be. Mabye he will be better for me then Myrna.

      Anyway, the best to the HIVE. I have to go to court tomorow, so may onley be able to post before and after if I don’t meet with Roberta. I’ll see about bringeing the new guy (Mason) if he can pry himself away from Lynn. They both walked out the door 3 minute’s ago! YAY for them–at least they are enjoyeing themselve’s I think, but NOT in the office! YAY!!!!!

    9. Take deep breaths and remind yourself that you have to go through this to get past this. If you are able to influence the court schedule and move things along, great. If not, remember this is a temporary situation that will have an end point. You will be a stronger, more experienced member of society who can help others because of this.

        1. Thanks so much, Anonymous. I’m really trying to do what you’re talking about.

          Allison over at Wardrobe Oxygen posted something awesome the other day, which I am totally taking to heart: “Being mean never helped anyone do anything great. . . . Be you angry or be you happy, you’re going to have the same life, so you might as well be happy and enjoy as much of it you can.”

          Indeed.

    10. SA – your last paragraph… Don’t be so hard on your self! None of us are perfect judges of character and people change over time. Unless you can tell the future, some things just won’t work forever (but if you CAN tell the future, let me know. I have a couple go questions for you :-). Tell the trolls to go back under the bridge and rejoice that you got out.

  4. Thank you to everyone that pitched in regarding my dog question! I’m going to look at the shelter this weekend, and will let you all know what I end up picking!

    I have another TJ though: what do you ladies with acne use to lighten scars? I have quite a few, some of them new, some of them old, and would love to reduce the appearance.

    1. Mederma is often recommended for scars and I have had a good experience. I don’t know if it’s good for acne scars (I don’t see why not).

      1. I first used it for medical scars but have used it on my face on acne scars shortly after having a big pimple and I think it definitely helped. Try that! It’s pricey but works.

      2. I tried Mederma for acne scars that were several years old (years ago, so I won’t say they haven’t changed their formula since then) and it did absolutely nothing. I’ve not found anything to help mine.

    2. I have been pleased with Clinique’s Even Better Dark Spot Corrector. It is expensive but the bottle lasts a long time.

      2. Agree. I have darker skin and the slightest blemish leaves a grayish mark on my skin. I use Clinique once a day, in the morning. When I’m consistent with it, I do notice an improvement.

    4. I use retin A gel. It takes a while to work, but it really does get rid of scars.

        1. It’s a topical gel. I apply it once a day now, but when you first start it will cause peeling and many people have to ease into it with every other day application.

    5. I use Bio-Oil on acne scars… You have to use it regularly for like 3 months or something but it really removes the scar.

  5. I’ve also been loving The Row. I didn’t love this purse until I clicked the link and saw it on a model. (not sure why that made such a difference) Beautiful!

  6. Looking to spruce up my Spotify list: What song can you not stop listening to right now?

    1. “Happy” — Pharrell
      “Shot at the Night” — The Killers
      “XO” — Beyonce
      “Chocolate” — The 1975
      “Dance a Little Closer” — Holy Ghost!
      “She Knows” — J. Cole

    2. Let It Go – Idina Menzel (Frozen – yes, I went to an animated Disney movie this weekend. It was awesome)

      1. It is an awesome movie. Even my boys loved it. We went with my mil, and she was laughing the loudest in the theatre! My 8yo ds kept leaning over to me & saying “Mom, this movie is awesome! We have to buy it!” and had to buy the soundtrack for his ipod as soon as we were home after the movie.

        1. I didn’t even have the excuse of kids to go (although the cousins I babysat were all about it). I did take another 30 something friend. I”m just happy to have a Disney soundtrack that’s memorable, like the movies of my youth.

  8. Pregnancy TJ — Any tips for ignoring/getting through braxton-hicks contractions? I’ve been having a few (maybe 4 or 5) every hour for almost 2 weeks now and some of them are seriously uncomfortable! My doc verified that it’s not labor, so I have to just deal with them. (Also I’m 38 weeks so labor would be perfectly okay!)

    1. Aw, that sounds so uncomfortable! I never got the BH contractions, just real ones. However, I have heard that you should try to drink a TON of water and that may help them ease up.

    2. Lots of water, hot bath, maybe a glass of wine? I never had them but that’s what I’ve heard.

    3. Yes. Water.

      Also, try to breathe deeply? I am just starting to get them and they’re not all that bad. Just feel like bad menstrual cramps.

      1. Well to me “bad menstrual cramps” = throwing up stomach acid, dry heaving, and being unable to leave the house for ~36 hours. Some of these contractions are fairly painful and deep breathing doesnt quite cut it. I’m currently consuming approx 100 fluid ounces of water per day — any tips on how much I should increase that by?

        Thanks for the suggestions ladies. I’m having a tough day today.

        1. My BH contractions were nothing like menstrual cramps, either. I think everyone experiences things differently!

          I’m sorry you’re feeling crappy. I had BH frequently in late pregnancy, and still went past my due date. I don’t know if it helps you to think of them as “practice” contractions that help get the uterus ready for the big day? I know once I finally went into labor, I was fully dilated pretty quickly, and I think all those BH really helped me prepare.

          1. Oh good! Well hopefully I won’t go much past my due date, but I’m so glad to hear it went fairly quickly for you!

        2. Can you somehow rent/borrow a TENS unit? I rented one from my doula in the last few weeks of pregnancy and it really helped with BH and general back pain. I highly recommend trying to find one. I also used mine throughout labour – it was great.

        3. Sorry you’re having such a tough time. I used the bh contrax to practice breathing & relaxing for labour. Not sure if it really helped me during labour, but it helped me to think that they were being useful. I agree that they can sure hurt sometimes!

        4. I wasn’t suggesting yours were not that bad. I was simply framing my advice in the terms that breathing through them works for me, but that they are not that bad. And my doctor told me yesterday, that they can be caused by dehydration, so I said water.

          Truth be told, it doesn’t sound like you actually want advice. If you are that sick, perhaps a call to the doctor or hospital is in order.

    3. I bought a long-sleeved tee in the color of the year, radiant orchid, at Lands End a few weeks ago. On sale for like nine bucks. Love it so much and have worn it to work four times already.

    4. INC straight leg jeans from Macy’s. I realized, since I’ve lost weight, that I didn’t have jeans that fit and I missed them. I don’t think they have the ones I bought on the website. And, oddly enough, the ones I bought from the clearance rack for $20 stretch out, but the ones I bought nearly full price (with my 20% discount) are great, despite the fact that they looked like exactly the same jeans in different washes. The ones I like best are a darker wash with 2 buttons. They fit me perfectly – I have to wear the regular fit. I’m straight up and down (waist/hip/thighs) with muscular legs.

  10. KLG was kind enough to ask this morning how my mom’s visit a couple of weekends ago went so thought I’d write a quick update. As usual, the visit was not as bad as I’d feared. Unfortunately, I think some of it is that she’s just accepted her low opinion of my husband as fact and doesn’t expect much of him anymore. So when our house was a mess (which I know it was even though I haven’t been there in weeks — actually, BECAUSE I haven’t been there in weeks), she just thought “well what would I expect of Mr. TBK.” I realized that one of the huge problems in their relationship, well, the three huge problems are (but they’re all related): (1) my grandfather was a bit of a tiger and was likely emotionally abusive to my mom when she was growing up and, as a result, she reacts poorly to men who remind her at all of my grandfather. So even if someone is just engaging in energetic conversation and give and take, if he’s a man and he’s using a certain (totally acceptable) tone of voice, she hears “terrible, abusive, controlling @sshole”; (2) my mother almost certainly has an undiagnosed information processing disorder. She can’t follow the twists and turns in conversation as easily as other people and gets confused when someone changes topics abruptly. This led her to be labeled as “slow” or “stupid” or “lazy” when she was growing up and so she has a massive chip on her shoulder. Anything she doesn’t understand she attributes to other people not being clear. I wish she’d been diagnosed as a child and been given coping techniques. It would make life so much more pleasant for all of us; and (3) my husband loves spirited debate, as do I. One of the things that attracted me to him was his breadth of knowledge, his analytical discipline, and his intellectual honesty. We’re giant DC dorks and most of our longer conversations are about policy issues where we engage in a sort of Socratic debate (thank you, our two law schools, for embedding the Socratic method so deeply in our psyches), challenging each other’s positions with questions and trying to refine our positions and distill out our arguments for them. The flip side of this is that my husband can get ranty at times, if he gets a head of steam going. This doesn’t bother me; I’m a litigator. I just ask to back off of the topic for a bit to finish the discussion later, or I get ranty myself (he has accused me of cross examining him, which is probably true). I never feel cowed. My mother has never seen my husband going at full steam. She’s seen him at maybe 40%. But, as I said, even if he does something as little as disagreeing with her choice in movies, she goes into full alarm mode. She also gets defensive if someone uses big words she doesn’t understand. My husband tends to talk like he’s dictating a legal brief when he gets going. So my mom believes my husband is a controlling, self-important @sshat who is constantly talking down to her and who believes her to be stupid and inferior. My husband may get a little self-important on certain topics (everyone who knows a smart lawyer knows what I mean) but all of the other stuff is my mom’s own baggage that she’s throwing on top of him.

    Luckily (and to sum up this novel) my husband no longer gets frustrated with my mom and just saves any big conversations for when he’s hanging out with my step-dad (who likes him very much). Anyway, sorry for all that. I guess it just never all came together in my mind until this last visit.

    2. I’m glad your husband no longer feels burdened by having to interact with his intellectual inferior in a manner that doesn’t include ranting (rude), dictating (rude), needless jargon (lawyer-speak not cool). I can see why your mom doesn’t like dealing with him- social norms dictate that one does not engage one’s easily flustered mother in law in “spirited debate”

      1. My sister and brother in law sound like TBK and her husband. They engage ANYONE in a spirited debate because that’s just their personality and they really enjoy it. Sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes I tell them I’m not up for a debate. They’re not being rude. They’re holding a conversation.

        Also social norms would dictate that her mother give her husband a chance rather than just having a low opinion of him.

      2. My husband doesn’t rant to my mother, nor does he ever dictate or use needless jargon (a good legal brief has almost no jargon). He doesn’t treat her as an intellectual inferior. He treats her as an equal. As I said, he never gets into spirited debate with her, or with anyone who hasn’t shown they enjoy it (nor do I — it’s something we enjoy and we like debating with each other and with friends who enjoy it, but we realize many people who don’t get a charge out of it see it as hostile). It’s that my mother takes anything said energetically by a man to be a “rant”. For example, my husband and I were telling a story about a frustrating person we’d both worked with. Because my mother didn’t get some of the topic switches and got lost, she later called my husband’s story-telling a “rant” (even though I was also involved and so it wasn’t just one person ranting). I’ve tried stopping and trying to make sure my mother has followed the topic switch, but then she gets defensive and says “yes, I KNOW” even though she clearly was lost (believe me, I’ve had my whole life to watch her interactions and I know when she truly has lost the thread of conversation).

        1. Your mom sounds a lot like my mom. My mom’s inability to follow is due to hearing loss and despite wearing two hearing aids she still can’t follow. She gets irritated when we purposely stop to check on whether she’s following but if we don’t check, she gets lost and checks out.

    3. Aww TBK that is a lot! It makes a lot of sense when you lay it all out like that though. Glad everyone’s learning how to accept each other (but sorry to hear your mom isn’t your DH’s biggest fan).

    1. (ugh, this was supposed to be a reply to the Mean Girl, not to TBK)

      TBK: At least you made it through the visit, even if it wasn’t what you would have liked. And YAY for 30 Weeks!! Congrats for growing those boys big and strong!

  12. Gift T/J:

    My mom’s birthday is coming up and I am a bit stumped. My mom is very easy to shop for so I always manage to find her the “perfect” gift, but of course this raises the stakes for me and I am afraid I am a little out of ideas this year. I was thinking of getting her the Nutribullet (basically newer Magic Bullet with a stronger motor). Has anyone used this? Thoughts? Would you want one as a present?

    She’s not a health nut but I feel like she might enjoy it and she has been trying to step it up with walking and exercising, etc. Past gifts that have been successful have ranged from pretty dishes to an Eileen Fisher puffy vest, perfumes/creams to a pair of those fleecy crocs from 5-6 years ago, food processer and an awesome quilt… She already has a slow cooker, she loves Le Creuset pans but has a bunch of their pots and pans, I got her a LC teapot for the holidays so that’s also out… I welcome any and all ideas. Thanks in advance!

    1. How much do you want to spend? People LOVE vitamix, if you want to got the blender route.

      1. No set budget, but usually I spend around $150/200. I can go up to $300 for something awesome. I know the Vitamix is very big right now, but I think my mom is not the whip out a blender type. I was thinking the bullet would work because it’s small. Plus, she hates pureed soups, which I feel like is a large part of what people like about the vitamix.

        1. A similar product would be Cuisinart’s Smart Stick hand blender with the attachments. My husband (the cook) LOVES this thing, and he’s given them to two people who also have liked it. We bought it for the immersion blender, but we use the little food processor so much more. I never would have thought it would be so handy and useful. Our heavily used food processor doesn’t get out of the cabinet much these days.

          http://www.amazon.com/Cuisinart-CSB-79-200-watt-Immersion-Attachments/dp/B00AN9UJ68/

    2. If she’s been trying to increase her walking, would she enjoy a FitBit or JawBone Up?

      1. I was thinking about that but she’s not very tech savvy, so I am not sure she would use it. I sort of just picture her going “but why would something that tracks the number of steps I take make me walk more? I walk what I walk. This is stupid.”

        1. PS: I didn’t meant to imply the fit bit is a stupid idea, just that my mom would not get it.

      2. What about a walking tour with you? Your city or hers probably has something touristy and fun. Or you could buy her walking shoes from a running store where they’ll assess her foot and gait? A pre-loaded ipod?

    3. What about a subscription shipment of organic produce? My SIL and brother gave that as Christmas gifts this year and so far I’m liking what I received.

  13. What are reputable places to buy fine jewelry online? I’m in the market for some amethyst jewelry so it’s not that expensive but I’m not comfortable using ebay and don’t know what is legitimate besides blue nile, and I’d like more options.

    1. Try Gemvara and Ross Simons (although Ross Simons can have some crazy weird settings sometimes). Gemvara is great, seriously.

  14. So this is an oldish thread, but did anyone else notice this post is tagged “Under $150?” LOL

    As for me, I like the color block idea but not this particular color scheme.

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